Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 4, Episode 1 - Where There's Smoke, There's Fish - full transcript

(Alton Brown)
VACATION...

VACATION...

YOU KNOW THAT COMES FROM
A LATIN WORD, VACUUS.

IT MEANS EMPTY,
UNOCCUPIED.

SOUNDS GOOD TO ME.
YEAH, YOU MAYBE.

VACATIONS JUST MAKE ME
NERVOUS.

THIS WAS MY WIFE'S IDEA.

SHE SAID IF I DIDN'T
GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN,
SHE WAS GONNA GO CRAZY.

SO I SAY TO HER, "WELL,
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO GO SALMON FISHING."

SO SHE SENDS ME OUT HERE
AND BOOKS ME INTO THIS
GREAT HOTEL IN TOWN,

BUT YOU KNOW
WHAT SHE DOES,



SHE PAYS THE INNKEEPER
EXTRA TO NOT LET ME
IN THE KITCHEN.

THAT SOUNDS LIKE
TOUGH LOVE TO ME.
TOUGH LOVE, ALL RIGHT.

HE EVEN LOCKS UP
THE GRILL.

SO HERE I AM TRYING
TO CATCH A FISH

THAT EVEN IF I DO CATCH,
I CAN'T COOK.

VACATION, WHO NEEDS IT?

WHAT ARE YOU VACATING
FROM, ANYWAY?

OH, A SHOW
ON FOOD NETWORK
CALLED "GOOD EATS."

I'VE HEARD OF THAT
EMERIL GUY...
IT'S POW!

BAM... BAM.
YEAH.
OH, BAM, YEAH.

I DON'T THINK I'VE
EVER SEEN YOU BEFORE,
THOUGH.

NO?
NO.

YOU KNOW, USUALLY, WE'VE
GOT THIS TRADEMARK THING

WHERE THE OPENING
MONOLOGUE OF THE SHOW



SOMEHOW WINDS UP WITH
THE LAST TWO WORDS BEING
"BLAH, BLAH, GOOD EATS."

OH YEAH, THAT'S LIKE
"LIVE FROM NEW YORK"?

NO, THAT'S NOT LIKE
"LIVE FROM NEW YORK,"

IT'S LIKE,
"EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE
ANY POTS OR PANS,

"AND EVEN IF YOUR WIFE
PAID SOME GUY TO
LOCK UP THE GRILL,

"SALMON ARE REALLY
GOOD EATS."

SEE, LIKE THAT.

WILD SALMON ARE
THE HARDEST WORKING FISH
IN THE SEAFOOD BUSINESS.

THAT'S BECAUSE
THEY'RE ANADROMOUS,

WHICH YOU NO DOUBT REMEMBER
FROM YOUR HIGH SCHOOL GREEK,

MEANS RUN UPWARDS,
WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT
SALMON ARE FAMOUS FOR DOING.

THEY'RE HATCHED WAY INLAND
IN SMALL FRESHWATER STREAMS.

THEN AS THEY MATURE,
THEY SWIM OUT TO SEA.

THEY KICK AROUND THE BIG
BLUE FOR A COUPLE YEARS,

AND THEN THEY RETURN
TO THEIR EXACT HOME STREAM,

AND THEY SWIM UP PAST
RAPIDS, WATERFALLS,

MAN-MADE OBSTACLES,
HUNGRY CRITTERS,
YOU NAME IT,

TO SPAWN IN THE EXACT
SAME PATCH OF GRAVEL
THAT THEY HATCHED FROM.

YOU TRY DOING THAT SOMETIME
WITH YOUR POCKET GPS.

WHAT'S EVEN MORE
FASCINATING

IS THAT ONCE THEY CROSS FROM
SALTWATER INTO FRESHWATER,

THEY DON'T EAT AGAIN.

THAT MEANS THEY HAVE
TO FATTEN UP OUT THERE

BEFORE THEY CAN GO IN THERE,

WHICH IS WHY WE ARE SITTING
RIGHT HERE.

BECAUSE AT THIS TRANSITION,
THIS IS WHERE THE FISH

ARE GOING TO BE THE FATTEST
AND MOST FLAVORFUL.

HEY, ALTON?
HUH?

ARE YOU GONNA REEL
THAT FISH IN THERE,

OR ARE YOU PLANNING ON
TALKING IT INTO THE BOAT?
OH, JEEZ.

I GOT IT, GOT IT.

I THINK YOU'RE GONNA
NEED A BIGGER BOAT.

(Alton)
MOST OF THE SALMON AVAILABLE
IN AMERICAN MARKETS
IS ATLANTIC SALMON,

RAISED ON SOPHISTICATED
AQUA FARMS

THAT CONSISTENTLY DELIVER
HIGH QUALITY AT A
REASONABLE PRICE.

BUT THEY NEVER DEVELOP
THE DEPTH OF FLAVOR

THAT THEIR WILD BRETHREN
ARE KNOWN FOR.

ATLANTIC, BY THE WAY,
REFERS NOT TO GEOGRAPHY,
BUT ICHTHYOLOGY.

ALL SALMON IN THE ATLANTIC
ARE ATLANTIC SALMON.

ON THE PACIFIC SIDE,
THERE ARE FIVE
DISTINCT VARIETIES,

PINK, CHUM, SOCKEYE, COHO
AND OF COURSE, THE CHINOOK,
OR KING SALMON.

ONE OF WHICH NOW LAY
FILLETED IN MY COOLER.

3:18 IN THE MORNING.
SOME VACATION.

HERE I'D LANDED THE ONE
SALMON I'D HOPED TO CATCH
IN MY ENTIRE LIFETIME,

AND I COULDN'T
DO ANYTHING WITH IT.

I TOLD THE INNKEEPER THAT
I'D DOUBLE MY WIFE'S OFFER

IF HE'D JUST LET ME
USE THE GRILL,

BUT HE SAID
NO DICE.

SOME VACATION.

WAIT A MINUTE.

SALMON HAVE FED THE INDIANS
OF THE PACIFIC NORTHWEST
FOR 10,000 YEARS.

AFTER ALL,
ALONG WITH THE RAVEN,
THE EAGLE, AND THE BEAR,

THE SALMON WAS CONSIDERED
TO BE SACRED.

IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,
THERE WAS EVEN A LEGEND

OF AN ANCIENT TRIBE
THAT COULD JUST RUN
INTO THE OCEAN

AND THEY'D TURN
INTO SALMON.

THEY WERE CALLED
THE SALMON PEOPLE.

THIS CULTURE DIDN'T
HAVE POTS OR PANS
OR CONVECTION OVENS,

AND YET THEY ATE SALMON
THREE TIMES A DAY,
MOST OF IT SMOKED.

THAT'S IT...
SMOKED SALMON.

I DON'T NEED
NO STINKING KITCHEN.

IN FACT, THERE'S ONLY
FOUR STEPS.

CURE THE FISH,
RINSE THE FISH,

DRY THE FISH,
SMOKE THE FISH,
EAT THE FISH.

THAT'S FIVE.

OH, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

LIKE MOST ROUND, BONY FISH,
SALMON HAVE A SECOND SET
OF HEAVY RIBS

CALLED PIN BONES.

WHILE THEY DON'T HAVE
TO GO,

PULLING NOW WILL PREVENT
A TRASHED FISH LATER.

PUSH YOUR FINGER
ACROSS THE FISH,

MOVING FROM THE HEAD, OR
WHERE THE HEAD USED TO BE,

TOWARDS THE TAIL.

YOU'LL FEEL THE PIN BONES
JUST UNDER THE SURFACE.

WHEN YOU REACH ONE,
GO AFTER IT WITH
A CLEAN PAIR OF PLIERS.

AVOID DIGGING AROUND
WITH THE TIP,

AND ALWAYS PULL FORWARD
WITH THE GRAIN OF THE MEAT.

NOW SALMON ARE NOT KNOWN
FOR ASSOCIATING WITH
SALMONELLA OR E. COLI,

BUT THIS IS STILL
RAW MEAT,

SO WASH THOSE
FISHY HANDS.

A CURE IS NOTHING MORE
THAN A MIXTURE OF SALT --

A CUP OF KOSHER
IN THIS CASE --

AND USUALLY AN EQUAL
PORTION OF SUGAR
JUST MIXED TOGETHER.

I LIKE TO SPLIT THE SUGAR
BETWEEN HALF A CUP
OF DARK BROWN

AND A HALF CUP
OF WHITE.

HERBAL ADDITIONS ARE OKAY,

BUT I'D RATHER SPICE THINGS
UP WITH A TABLESPOON OR TWO
OF CRUSHED PEPPERCORNS.

OH, AND YOU'RE GONNA NEED
SOME WIDE, HEAVY-DUTY FOIL.

AND THERE WE HAVE
A CURE.

NOW IF YOU WERE TO DISSOLVE
THAT IN WATER,

YOU WOULD HAVE A BRINE,

BUT WE DON'T WANT TO ADD
A LOT OF LIQUID
IN THIS SITUATION,

SO WE'RE GONNA
GO WITH IT DRY.

WHY ADD THIS
IN THE FIRST PLACE?

WELL, FOR ONE THING,
IT IS GOING TO SEASON
THE MEAT, WHICH IS GOOD.

ANOTHER THING IS,
IT'S GONNA DRAW OUT
AS GOOD BIT OF LIQUID,

AND THAT'S GOOD, TOO,
BECAUSE IN THE PROCESS,

IT'S GOING TO DENATURE
SOME OF THE PROTEINS
INSIDE THE MEAT,

WHICH PARADOXICALLY IS GOING
TO ALLOW IT TO HOLD ON
TO MOISTURE

DURING THE LONG
SMOKING PROCESS,

WHICH DOESN'T SEEM RIGHT,
BUT IT IS.

AND LAST BUT
NOT AT ALL LEAST,

IT IS GOING TO CREATE A FILM
OF PROTEIN ON THE OUTSIDE OF
THE MEAT CALLED A PELLICLE.

AS WE'LL SEE LATER, THAT IS
A VERY GOOD THING, INDEED.

SO WE BEGIN BY MOVING
FILLET A

OVER NEXT TO FILLET B

AND SIMPLY
FLIPPING IT OVER.

THAT MAKES ROOM FOR
A NICE BIG CHUNK OF
WIDE ALUMINUM FOIL.

THAT IS GONNA BE THE BASE --

A FEW INCHES LONGER THAN
THE FISH ON EITHER SIDE.

THAT'S GOOD.

NOW JUST PEEL THE FILM
OFF OF THE FILLET

AND MOVE IT BACK OVER
TO THE FOIL LIKE THAT.

NOW SPRINKLE ON SOME
OF YOUR CURE.

JUST UP AND DOWN
IN THE SHAPE OF THE FISH.

THAT'S GONNA MAKE SURE
THAT SOME OF THIS GETS
ON THE SKIN SIDE.

THEN JUST ROLL FILLET A
BACK OVER.

NOW COMPLETELY COVER THIS
WITH CURE.

SPRINKLE IT ON
AND DON'T BE SHY WITH IT.

BECAUSE WE DON'T WANT
TOO MUCH CURE DOWN HERE
WHERE THE MEAT IS THIN,

JUST KIND OF BRUSH UPWARDS
AND PACK IT DOWN AS YOU GO.

SAME THING ON THIS FILLET,
SAME EXACT ACTION.

JUST SPRINKLE IT ALL ON...

NOW WE'RE GONNA ROTATE
THIS FILLET SO THAT THE
HEADS LINE UP TO EACH OTHER.

ROLL ONE ONTO THE OTHER.

NOW PEEL OFF THE FILM THAT
USED TO BE ON THE BOTTOM,

EXPOSING THE LAST SIDE
OF THE SALMON,

AND THIS IS WHERE
YOU CAN USE UP THE
REST OF YOUR CURE.

REAPPLY YOUR FILM...

PACK IT DOWN AND FEEL TO SEE
IF THE TWO SIDES ARE EVEN
WITH ONE ANOTHER

BECAUSE THAT WILL
MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

AND THEN JUST BRING
THE TWO SIDES OF THE FOIL
TOGETHER.

I USUALLY START
AT THE HEAD,

JUST KIND A CRIMP IT NICE
AND TIGHT UP AT THE HEAD.

KINDA DRAW IT UP TIGHT.

YOU WANT A LITTLE BIT
OF PRESSURE ON THE FISH.

THIS WILL ALSO HELP
TO MOVE THE JUICES
DOWN TOWARDS THE TAIL

WHERE WE'RE GONNA LEAVE
A LITTLE BIT OF ROOM.

THERE, JUST LEAVE THAT
KINDA OPEN LIKE THAT.

THAT'S GONNA LET
JUICES OUT.

GOOD.

NOW WE NEED TO FIND
SOME WEIGHT.

WHEN I CURE AT HOME,
I ALWAYS SANDWICH MY
NEWLY MADE SALMON SANDWICH

IN BETWEEN A COUPLE OF PANS
LIKE HALF SHEET PANS
OR COOKIE SHEETS, MAYBE,

BUT MY RESOURCES ARE
A LITTLE ON THE
MEAGER SIDE HERE.

WELL, MAYBE NOT TOO MEAGER.

YEAH, THAT SHELF
OUGHT TO DO NICELY.

SLIDE MY FISH
RIGHT ONTO HERE.

IF YOU WERE DOING THIS
AT HOME,

YOU WOULD PUT THIS
IN YOUR PAN

AND MOVE IT STRAIGHT
TO THE BOTTOM SHELF
OF YOUR REFRIGERATOR.

BUT A COOLER WILL DO
JUST FINE, TOO.

OF COURSE,
WE NEED A LID FOR THAT,

SO...

WELL, WOULD YOU
LOOK UP HERE.

(coughs as wood breaks)

THAT'LL DO.

RIGHT ON TOP.

NOW I ALSO NEED
SOME WEIGHT.

YOU SEE, COMPRESSING
THE MEAT WILL MAKE IT
TAKE THE CURE BETTER,

AND WE'LL END UP WITH A
FINER TEXTURE AT THE END.

I WOULD USUALLY USE SOUP
CANS OR A COUPLE OF BRICKS,

BUT I DON'T SEE ANY PROBLEM
WITH LETTING OUR FINGERS
DO THE WALKING.

SWEET FIT.

INTO YOUR REFRIGERATOR,
OF COURSE, FOR 24 HOURS.

THAT'S THE TIME I THINK
IT TAKES THE CURE TO
REALLY DO ITS VOODOO.

YOU COULD GET AWAY WITH 12,
BUT DON'T PUSH IT ANY
FURTHER THAN THAT.

REALISTICALLY,
YOU SHOULD EXPERIMENT.

OF COURSE, THE AMOUNT
OF TIME THE SALT'S IN
CONTACT WITH THE MEAT

IS GOING TO AFFECT
THE OVERALL FLAVOR.

OH, AND REMEMBER,

HALFWAY THROUGH
THE CURING PROCESS,

YOU WANT TO FLIP THE FISH
OVER AND PUT THE WEIGHT
BACK ON.

AND OF COURSE, THERE IS
GOING TO BE SOME JUICE
COMING OUT OF THERE,

SO MAKE SURE YOUR PAN
CAN HANDLE IT.

TOMORROW, WE SMOKE.

THOROUGH RINSING
AND AIR-DRYING

ARE ABSOLUTELY CRUCIAL
TO SMOKING ANY KIND OF FOOD.

THAT'S BECAUSE
THE CURE HAS BROUGHT
WATER-SOLUBLE PROTEINS

UP TO THE SURFACE
OF THE MEAT,

AND WHEN THESE DRY,
THEY'RE GONNA CREATE
A MATTE-LIKE SURFACE.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE A SHELLAC
OF PROTEIN CALLED
A PELLICLE.

THAT WILL PREVENT MOISTURE
LOSS DURING SMOKING,

AND IT WILL ACT
LIKE SMOKE VELCRO,

IT WILL ACTUALLY ATTRACT IT.

A FAN WILL SPEED
THE PROCESS.

YOU ALWAYS WANT TO DO THIS
IN A COOL PLACE, BUT NOT
IN THE REFRIGERATOR,

IT'S JUST TOO MOIST
IN THERE.

BESIDES, I DON'T HAVE ONE.

(thinking)
MY WIFE MAY THINK
SHE'S LOCKED ME OUT
OF THE KITCHEN.

BUT MACGYVER'S NOT MY
PATRON SAINT FOR NOTHING.

WRANGLE SOME HARDWARE...

A BOX, SOME DOWELS
ARE STEP ONE.

I NEED TO FIND SOMETHING,
SOME HEAT, MAYBE.

WHAT'S THIS?

HMM.

I SEE SOME THINGS HERE
THAT'LL WORK.

NICE ART.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON,
GO FOR IT.

THREE BUCKS, COME ON,
TAKE IT, TAKE IT.

HEH, HEH, HEH,
SCORE.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

HMM, I COULD USE THAT
LITTLE THING, TOO.

COME ON, GO FOR IT.

SUCKER!

IF YOU'RE GONNA SMOKE FOOD,

YOU'VE GOTTA HAVE
HARDWOOD.

WHAT I MEAN IS THAT
SOFTWOODS --

YOU KNOW, EVERGREENS
LIKE PINE AND CEDAR --

CONTAIN A CHEMICAL
CALLED PITCH.

AND PITCH MAKES FOOD TASTE
A LOT LIKE TURPENTINE.

THAT LEADS US TO ASKING
WHICH HARDWOOD IS BEST.

I SAY, WHATEVER YOU CAN
GET YOUR HANDS ON.

I MEAN, SURE, THERE ARE
SUBTLE DIFFERENCES

IN THE FLAVORS PRODUCED BY
ALDER SMOKE, APPLE SMOKE,

MAPLE, OAK, HICKORY,
WHAT-HAVE-YOU.

BUT IT TAKES AT LEAST
SIX HOURS OF EXPOSURE

FOR THOSE SUBTLETIES
TO REVEAL THEMSELVES
IN THE FLAVOR OF THE FOOD.

WHAT'S A LOT MORE IMPORTANT
IS HOW YOU MANAGE THE SMOKE.

FOR INSTANCE, YOU NEVER
WANT TO SEE FLAMES.

IT'S ALWAYS GOT TO BE
AT A SMOLDER.

THAT'S BECAUSE FLAMES RESULT
FROM A MORE COMPLETE FORM
OF COMBUSTION,

AND THAT COMBUSTION PRODUCES
A LOT OF OTHER COMPOUNDS

LIKE TAR, WHICH I USUALLY
THINK OF AS A ROAD TOPPING,
NOT A FOOD ADDITIVE.

SO IF YOU'RE GONNA USE
CHIPS,

YOU'VE GOT TO SOAK THEM
FOR AT LEAST A COUPLE
OF HOURS IN WATER

BEFORE YOU START
SMOKING.

OR YOU CAN DO WHAT I DO
AND FIND YOURSELF -- AH --

A GOOD SUPPLY OF SAWDUST.

NOW IF YOU CAN'T
MAKE YOUR OWN,

JUST LOOK UP A LOCAL
CABINET-MAKER SHOP

AND OFFER TO TAKE OUT
THEIR TRASH.

ODDS ARE,
THEY'RE GONNA LOVE YOU.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS AVOID ANY SAWDUST

THAT COMES FROM PLYWOOD
OR ANY OTHER
PRESSURE-TREATED LUMBER

BECAUSE IT'S GOT
POISON IN IT.

THANKS A LOT, GUYS.

(thinking)
ALL RIGHT, TIME TO PUT
THE PIECES TOGETHER.

MY SMOKER, THE FAN
FOR CONVECTION,

A PAN TO HOLD THE SAWDUST,
A RACK TO HOLD THE FISH,

ART FOR...
WELL, ART'S SAKE.

AND SAWDUST,
THAT CAN WAIT.

THE FIRST THING I'VE GOTTA
DO IS, GOTTA MAKE A SHELF.

PUNCH A COUPLE
OF HOLES HERE,

JUST BIG ENOUGH FOR
THE DOWELS TO GO THROUGH.

IF THEY'RE TOO BIG,
SMOKE WILL COME OUT.

SO, I'LL PUNCH A COUPLE
ON THE OTHER SIDE...

I WISH I HAD
A LEVEL.

NOW INSERT DOWEL A
THROUGH HOLES B AND C...

PERFECT FIT.

AND DOWEL D THROUGH
HOLES E AND F.

RACK ON...
GOOD, PERFECT FIT.

ALL RIGHT, I'VE GOTTA HAVE
ACCESS TO THE SAWDUST,

SO I'D BETTER CUT MYSELF
A LITTLE TRAP DOOR HERE.

POP.

MAKE SURE THAT
THE SKILLET WILL FIT.

AH, NICE AND COZY.

JEEPERS, I'LL NEED HEAT!

A HEAT SOURCE,
I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT THAT.

THERE'S GOTTA BE SOMETHING
IN THE HOTEL ROOM.

LET'S LOOK AROUND HERE.

SCORE!

PLACE YOUR
ELECTRIC HOT PLATE

AS CLOSE TO THE MIDDLE
OF THE BOX AS YOU CAN,

AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU
TURN IT SO THAT YOU CAN
GET TO THE THERMOSTAT.

THEN JUST LAY ON
YOUR SKILLET FULL OF DUST,

FULL TO THE TOP,

AND TURN THE THERMOSTAT
TO HIGH.

IN THE SUMMERTIME,
YOU CAN TURN IT DOWN
TO MEDIUM

AS SOON AS YOU SEE
A GOOD BIT OF SMOKE COMING
OUT OF THE TOP OF THE BOX.

BUT IN THE WINTERTIME,
IT'S COLD,

SO YOU SHOULD LEAVE IT
ON HIGH.

SINCE SOME FAT COULD DRIP
DOWN ONTO THE PAN, CAUSING
FLARE-UPS,

I ADD A PROFUSELY PERFORATED
DISPOSABLE PIE PLATE,

JUST LIKE THAT.

SAFETY FIRST.

AND OF COURSE, AN ELECTRIC
FAN WILL ALLOW YOU
TO CONVERT YOUR SMOKER

INTO A CONVECTION SMOKER,
THUS SPEEDING UP
THE COOKING PROCESS.

SWEET.

AS SOON AS YOUR FISH IS DRY
AND YOU HAVE PELLICLE
FORMATION,

YOU CAN RACK UP YOUR FISH
AND GET IT IN THE BOX.

NOW TECHNICALLY, THERE'S TWO
DIFFERENT KINDS OF SMOKING,

COLD SMOKING
AND HOT SMOKING.

COLD SMOKING INVOLVES
EXPOSING THE FOOD

TO A RELATIVELY LOW
TEMPERATURE OF SMOKE,
USUALLY ABOUT 100 DEGREES,

FOR DAYS OR EVEN WEEKS.

THIS REQUIRES EITHER
A LARGE SMOKEHOUSE

OR A SMOKE CHAMBER THAT
HAS AN EXTERNAL FIREBOX

SO THAT THE SMOKE CAN COOL
OFF AS IT MOVES THROUGH
THE DUCT WORK.

FOODS THAT ARE COLD SMOKED
ARE PRESERVED BY DEHYDRATION
AND BY THE SMOKE ITSELF,

BUT THEY ARE NOT COOKED.

HOT-SMOKED FOODS
ARE COOKED.

THAT'S WHAT WE'RE GOING
TO BE DOING HERE.

IT IS MUCH, MUCH FASTER
THAN COLD SMOKING,

BUT IT IS A LITTLE BIT
TRICKY BECAUSE YOU'VE
GOTTA BALANCE.

YOU'VE GOTTA GET THE RIGHT
AMOUNT OF SMOKINESS ATTAINED

JUST AS YOU ATTAIN THE
RIGHT AMOUNT OF DONENESS.

AND FOR THAT, WE MUST
EMPLOY TECHNOLOGY.

IN THIS CASE,
TWO PROBE THERMOMETERS.

I LIKE THESE THERMOMETERS
BECAUSE THEY HAVE ALARMS
THAT YOU CAN SET,

SO THEY'LL TELL YOU
WHEN THEY HIT CERTAIN
TEMPERATURES.

SO LET'S TAKE THERMOMETER
NUMBER ONE

AND TAKE YOUR PROBE
AND PUNCH IT RIGHT THROUGH
THE SIDE OF THE BOX,

LIKE THAT.

PUT IT KIND OF ON AN ANGLE
INTO THE DEEPEST PART
OF THE FISH.

THERE YOU GO.

WE WILL SET THIS
FOR 150 DEGREES.

THAT'S GONNA BE THE FINISHED
TARGET TEMPERATURE
OF THIS FISH.

HOW LONG IT'S GONNA TAKE
TO GET TO THAT TEMPERATURE,
OF COURSE,

DEPENDS ON THE TEMPERATURE
INSIDE THE BOX.

THAT'S WHERE THERMOMETER
NUMBER TWO COMES IN.

THIS ONE WE'RE ALSO GONNA
SET FOR 150 DEGREES,

BUT WE'RE GONNA
PUNCH THIS ONE

AND LET IT HANG
JUST LIKE THAT

SO THAT IT TELLS US
THE AIR TEMPERATURE.

I WANT TO KEEP THE AIR
IN HERE AS CLOSE TO 150
AS I CAN,

SO WHENEVER THE ALARM
GOES OFF, I'LL PROBABLY
CRANK BACK ON THAT HOT PLATE

JUST A LITTLE BIT,
AND THEN SNEAK IT
BACK UP AGAIN.

WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR
IS A TARGET OF BETWEEN
140 AND 150 DEGREES.

LET'S SMOKE.

YOU KNOW, THE THING I THINK
I LIKE BEST ABOUT SMOKING

IS HOW IT MAKES YOU KIND OF
TAKE A LITTLE TIME OUT.

JUST TAKE A FEW HOURS
AND CHILL.

CATCH UP ON
SOME LIGHT READING,

ENJOY A LOVELY BEVERAGE,

BECAUSE THERE'S NOT
A WHOLE LOT OF WORK TO DO.

OF COURSE, THIS DOESN'T MEAN
YOU CAN GO ON VACATION.

YOU CAN'T GO OFF
AND SEE A MOVIE,

AND YOU CAN'T GO OFF
TO THE MALL.

BECAUSE THERE IS A LITTLE
BIT OF MAINTENANCE STILL
LEFT TO DO.

THAT IS THE SMOKE ITSELF...
NOTICE HOW THE SMOKE
HAS DISSIPATED.

THIS IS WHAT LETS YOU KNOW
YOU HAVE DEAD SOLDIERS
INSIDE.

SO OPEN UP YOUR TRAP DOOR,

REACH IN WITH SOME PLIERS
AND REMOVE THE PERFORATED
PIE PAN.

THEN VERY CAREFULLY
REMOVE YOUR SKILLET

AND YOU'LL FIND CHARCOAL.

THAT'S PRETTY MUCH
USED UP CARBON.

DUMP THIS INTO
A FLAME-PROOF CONTAINER.

IT IS VERY, VERY, VERY HOT.

THERE MAY BE SOME SPARKS.

NOW REARM WITH
MORE SAWDUST.

IT'LL START SMOKING
RIGHT AWAY, SO DON'T
HOLD IT CLOSE TO YOUR FACE.

THERE, NOW RIGHT BACK
ONTO THE HEAT.

AND OF COURSE,
WE MUST REPLACE

THE PERFECTLY
PERFORATED PIE PAN.

AND BACK TO YOUR
LOVELY BEVERAGE.

HOW MANY TIMES YOU DO THIS
DEPENDS ON YOUR TASTE.

FOR ONE SALMON,
I'LL GENERALLY REPLACE
THE SAWDUST SIX TIMES.

BUT THEN, OF COURSE,
I'M USING A SMALL PAN,
AND THAT'S MY TASTE.

YOU COULD REPLACE IT
AS MANY AS TEN TIMES,
OR AS FEW AS FOUR.

IT'S COMPLETELY UP TO YOU.

EITHER WAY, AS LONG AS YOU
MAINTAIN THE HEAT, THE
SALMON IS GOING TO COOK.

SEEM LIKE YOU'RE GOING
THROUGH A LOT OF TROUBLE?

NAH, AND BESIDES,
IT'S WORTH IT.

THERE WE GO.

NOW I HOPE THAT WILL INSPIRE
YOU TO GET A LITTLE SMOKE
INTO YOUR LIFE.

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO WAIT FOR YOUR VACATION,

COME TO THINK OF IT,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO SMOKE
A WHOLE FISH.

TRUTH IS, SMALL FILLETS
SMOKE JUST AS WELL,

AND THEY DO IT
IN A LOT LESS TIME.

OF COURSE, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO USE SALMON, EITHER.

ANY FATTY FISH, BLUEFISH,
MACKEREL, OR TROUT

ALL DO VERY WELL
IN THE BOX.

JUST REMEMBER TO PLAY
BY THE RULES.

YOU ALWAYS WANT TO USE
THE FRESHEST,
HIGHEST-QUALITY FISH

YOU CAN GET YOUR HANDS ON.

IF YOU CATCH IT YOURSELF,
YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY OKAY THERE.

YOU WANT TO CURE IT
FOR 12 TO 24 HOURS.

MORE FOR REALLY THICK
PIECES.

LESS FOR LITTLE BITTY
SKINNY PIECES.

YOU WANT TO WASH THAT CURE
OFF AND ALLOW THE FISH
TO DRY THOROUGHLY.

THAT COULD TAKE ANYWHERE
FROM THREE TO FOUR HOURS
UNDER A FAN,

BUT DON'T SKIMP ON THAT.

THEN YOU WANT TO SMOKE
WITH HARDWOOD SAWDUST.

DON'T WASTE MONEY ON CHIPS,
THEY'LL ONLY CAUSE YOU PAIN.

AND DON'T LET IT COOK
TOO FAST, EITHER.

IF A FISH HITS AN INTERNAL
TEMPERATURE OF 150
IN AN HOUR,

OBVIOUSLY, IT'S NOT GONNA
HAVE MUCH SMOKY FLAVOR.

SO KEEP YOUR BOX JUST AT
THE FINISHED TEMPERATURE
FOR THE FISH,

AND ALL WILL GO WELL.

OF COURSE, THIS IS NOT
LIKE COLD-SMOKED FOOD.

IN OTHER WORDS,
IT'S NOT PRESERVED,

SO YOU'VE GOTTA TREAT THIS
JUST AS YOU WOULD ANY OTHER
COOKED MEAT.

WHICH MEANS THAT
AFTER YOU EAT IT,

YOU NEED TO REFRIGERATE
YOUR LEFTOVERS,

TIGHTLY WRAPPED,
FOR THREE TO FOUR DAYS,
IN THE REFRIGERATOR.

YOU CAN FREEZE LEFTOVERS,
TOO, FOR UP TO A MONTH.

OF COURSE, WITH A FISH
THIS SIZE

AND A FORK THIS SIZE,

I STILL DON'T THINK THERE'S
GONNA BE MANY LEFTOVERS.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME
ON "GOOD EATS."

CATCH YOUR OWN FISH.

Captioned by
Scripps Networks, Inc.