Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 3, Episode 7 - Flap Jack Do It Again - full transcript

(Chuck)
SOMETIMES, THE BEAUTY
IS SO GREAT IN THE
PRODUCE DEPARTMENT

THAT I CAN'T STAND IT.

IT'S LIKE...

MY HEART IS JUST GOING
TO CAVE IN.

YOU KNOW, CHUCK, YOU KEEP
THIS UP AND IT'S YOUR HEAD
THAT'S GOING TO CAVE IN.

(Chuck)
HI, MR. BROWN.

BEAUTIFUL, ISN'T IT?

YOU'RE SHOOTING VIDEO
OF FRUIT.

(Chuck)
OH, VEGETABLES, TOO.

DID YOU SEE
THESE CAULIFLOWERS?

SO PURE...



YEAH, I SAW SOME OF THOSE.
I'VE GOT TO ASK YOU
A QUESTION -- WHY?

(Chuck)
BECAUSE THEY WON'T LAST,
AND I WANT TO REMEMBER
EVERYTHING.

WELL, THEN, PICKLE THEM.

(Chuck)
OH, COME ON, MR. BROWN,
THAT'S DEPRESSION-ERA,
AUNT BEA KIND OF TALK.

I'M A HIGH-TECH
KIND OF GUY.

WELL LET ME TELL YOU,
JUST BECAUSE WE DON'T
HAVE TO PRESERVE PICKLES

DOESN'T MEAN WE SHOULDN'T
PRESERVE PICKLING.

I MEAN, THERE ARE RECIPES
FOR REFRIGERATOR PICKLES

THAT BESIDES BEING
INCREDIBLE SIMPLE

COMBINE OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD
FLAVORS AND TEXTURES.

(Chuck)
BUT I CAN BUY PICKLES.

OH, YOU CAN BUY PICKLES?

(crashing sounds)

THAT HURT, MR. BROWN.
IT WAS FOR YOUR
OWN GOOD, CHUCK.



I LIKE YOUR CAMERA --
NICE RESOLUTION.

LET ME TELL YOU
SOMETHING...

UNTIL YOU HAVE COME IN
ON A HOT JULY DAY --

HAVING MOWED THE LAWN,
OF COURSE --

AND THROWN OPEN THE
REFRIGERATOR AND CRACKED
OPEN THE LID

TO A JAR OF PICKLES
THAT YOU MADE YOURSELF

AND RELISHED THAT CRISP,
CLEAN, COOL, TANGY,
TART, SWEET GESTALT,

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT BEAUTY IS.

WELL, WHAT IF I GET TIRED
OF CUCUMBERS?

WELL, JUST NAME
ANYTHING IN THE
PRODUCE DEPARTMENT.

CAULIFLOWER?
PICKLES!

CARROTS?
PICKLES.

PEARS?
EASY PICKLES!

BELIEVE ME, CHUCK,
IF YOU'LL JUST TAKE
A LITTLE TIME

TO LEARN A FEW
BASIC PROCEDURES,

NOT ONLY THE
WHOLE PRODUCE SECTION,
BUT THE WHOLE WORLD

CAN BE YOUR PICKLE...
AND GOOD EATS.

"ON A HOT DAY IN VIRGINIA,

"I CAN THINK OF NOTHING
MORE COMFORTING

"THAN A FINE, SPICED PICKLE
BROUGHT UP, TROUT-LIKE,

"FROM THE SPARKLING DEPTHS
OF THE AROMATIC JAR

"KEPT BENEATH THE STAIRS
OF AUNT SALLY'S CELLAR."

SO WROTE THOMAS JEFFERSON.

YOU KNOW, MANY OF THE MAMAS
AND THE PAPAS OF THIS COUNTRY

SHARED OUR THIRD PRESIDENT'S
PICKLE PASSION.

GEORGE WASHINGTON,
JOHN ADAMS, DOLLY MADISON,

ELVIS PRESLEY...
ALL MAJOR PICKLE-HEADS.

THE KING, IN FACT,
LIKED HIS DILLS DEEP-FRIED.

AND LEST WE FORGET, THOSE
PEERLESS PICKLE PILGRIMS

THE PENNSYLVANIA DUTCH,
DIDN'T COME UP

WITH THEIR CONCEPT OF THE
SEVEN SWEETS AND SOURS

UNTIL AFTER THEY SETTLED
ON THESE SHORES.

SO HOW IS IT THAT AMERICA,
THE MELTING POT,

BECAME AMERICA,
THE PICKLE CROCK?

WELL, I'D LOVE TO TELL YOU,
BUT I'M NOT A FERMENTATIONAL
HISTORIAN,

AND NEITHER ARE YOU.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING.

WELL, YOU CAN'T BLAME
A GUY FOR TRYING.

WHEN THE HUDDLES MASSES
STARTED FLOCKING TO AMERICA,

THEY WANTED TO BRING
A TASTE OF HOME,

AND NO TASTE OF HOME
IS MORE PORTABLE
THAN A PICKLE.

SO THE KOREANS BROUGHT
KIM CHEE, THE INDIANS
BROUGHT CHUTNEY,

THE GERMANS BROUGHT
SAUERKRAUT, AND THE CHINESE
BROUGHT PICKLED VEGETABLES.

OH, BY THE WAY,
THE CHINESE LEARNED TO PICKLE
VEGETABLES FROM THE TARTARS.

OH, FROM THE TARTARS,
I GUESS THAT'S WHY
TARTAR SAUCE

ALWAYS HAS PICKLES
IN IT.
THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY.

AND PICKLES ALSO HELP
STAVE OFF SCURVY, YOU KNOW.

AH, A POTENTIALLY DEADLY
DISORDER CAUSED BY AN ACUTE
DEFICIENCY OF VITAMIN C.

AND DURING COLUMBUS'
TIME, IN FACT,

IT WAS THE LEADING CAUSE
OF DEATH AMONG SAILORS.

SPEAKING OF COLUMBUS,
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD
OF AMERIGO VESPUCCI?

SURE, THE FAMED
CARTOGRAPHER OF SEVILLE,

KNOWN FOR HIS EARLY MAPS
OF THE NORTH AMERICAN
COAST.

HE STARTED OUT
AS A PICKLE MERCHANT.
GET OUT OF HERE!

HE SUPPLIED COLUMBUS
WITH PICKLES,

AND THEY END UP NAMING
A WHOLE COUNTRY AFTER HIM.
WHICH ONE?

HIS NAME WAS AMERIGO,
PUT IT TOGETHER, BIG GUY.

I GUESS IT'S SAFE TO
ASSUME THAT THERE WERE
PICKLES PRE-1492?

YES, BUT FOR THAT,
YOU MUST GO TO EGYPT.
OH, BOTHER.

PICKLING WAS INVENTED
ABOUT 4,000 B.C. IN INDIA

AS AN EFFORT TO PRESERVE
FOOD IN THAT VERY
FOOD-UNFRIENDLY CLIMATE.

AS IT GAINED POPULARITY,
IT MIGRATED EAST,

AND ACTUALLY CAUGHT
THE EYE OF A WOMAN

LOOKING TO DO A LITTLE
NATURE-CHEATING OF HER OWN,

CLEOPATRA.

AH, PROOF!

THE WOMAN CONSUMED PICKLES
RELIGIOUSLY,

BELIEVING THAT SHE WOULD
SOMEHOW ABSORB SOME OF THEIR
PRESERVATIVE POWERS.

THERE'S EVEN A LEGEND THAT
SHE WAS BURIED WITH THOUSANDS
OF JARS OF PICKLES --

SEALED WITH A CURSE.

WHAT I DO KNOW IS THAT
BEFORE THE OLD GIRL BECAME
A PICKLE HERSELF,

SHE MANAGED TO INTRODUCE
THEM TO A FEW OF HER FRIENDS.

FOR INSTANCE...
WHAT'S THIS?

HER BOYFRIEND,
JULIUS CAESAR, LATE OF ROME,

FOUND PICKLES TO BE
SO INVIGORATING

THAT HE ENDED UP INCLUDING THEM
IN ALL OF HIS LEGIONNAIRE'S
RATIONS.

THIS BEGAN SORT OF A
MILITARY... WELL, TRADITION,

THAT WAS FOLLOWED
BY NAPOLEON,

WHO CERTAINLY KNEW
THAT ARMIES FIGHT
ON THEIR STOMACHS.

AND BY UNITED STATES FORCES,

WHICH, DURING WORLD WAR II,

ACTUALLY CONSUMED 40 PERCENT
OF THE NATION'S PICKLES.

AND AS FOR THE CURSE,

THAT'S JUST
SILLY KIDS' STUFF.

(choking sounds)

ANY FOOD IMPREGNATED WITH
AND THEREFORE PRESERVED BY
AN ACID

IS A PICKLE.

NOW THERE ARE HUNDREDS
OF WORLD PICKLE STYLES,

BUT ONLY TWO TRUE
PICKLE... SCHOOLS.

FERMENTED PICKLES SUCH AS
KIM CHEE, SAUERKRAUT,
AND KOSHER DILLS

DERIVE THEIR PARTICULAR
PIQUANCY FROM NATURALLY
OCCURRING BACTERIA,

WHICH MIGRATE
INTO THEIR BRINE
AND PRODUCE LACTIC ACID.

THIS LACTIC ACID ALSO SERVES
AS A MICROBIAL BOUNCER,

PREVENTING OTHER
LESS-FRIENDLY BACTERIA

FROM CRASHING THE CROCK,
SO TO SPEAK.

THESE PICKLES
ARE EASY TO MAKE...

AND SUBLIME TO EAT,

BUT THEY DO REQUIRE ABOUT
THE SAME LEVEL OF MAINTENANCE

AS AN ANT FARM, WHICH IS MORE
THAN SOME PEOPLE CAN HANDLE.

FOR THEM,
THERE'S INFUSED PICKLES.

IN THE INFUSION METHOD,
YOU BRING THE ACID TO THE PARTY

INSTEAD OF WAITING ON A
BILLION BUGS TO PRODUCE IT.

DOWN PICKLE.

THEN ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS
BRING SAID ACID TO A BOIL,

ADD WHATEVER FLAVORS YOU
WANT TO BRING TO THE PARTY,

AND THE ACID CHARGES RAPIDLY
INTO THE TARGET FOOD,

RENDERING IT A PICKLE
IN HOURS OR DAYS...

UP PICKLE.

INSTEAD OF WEEKS OR MONTHS,
LIKE FERMENTED PICKLES.

NOW LET'S MEET THE ACIDS.

VINEGAR...
BESIDES DESERVING
A SHOW OF ITS OWN,

IT IS YET ANOTHER EXAMPLE
OF GOOD FOOD GONE BAD
IN A GOOD WAY.

AFTER ALL, "VIN" MEANS WINE
IN FRENCH,

AND "AIGRE," SOUR,
AGAIN, FRENCH.

SIMPLY PUT, VINEGAR IS WHAT
HAPPENS WHEN ACETO BACTERIA
GO ON A DRINKING BINGE.

THEY GOBBLE UP
ALL THE ALCOHOL IN WINE,
BEER, WHAT HAVE YOU.

AND TURN IT
INTO ACETIC ACID.

NOW THIS TAKES A GOOD BIT
OF TIME,

SO THE BACTERIA CONSTRUCT
A COLONY CALLED A MOTHER,

WHICH LOOKS
LIKE A BIG JELLYFISH.

ONCE IT'S FINISHED CONVERTING
THE ALCOHOL IN ONE CONTAINER,

IT CAN BE MOVED TO ANOTHER,
AND THEN ANOTHER AND ANOTHER,

SO IT'S AN IMMORTAL
JELLYFISH.

ANY ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE
WILL DO.

FOR INSTANCE,
DISTILLED WHITE VINEGAR
IS MADE FROM GRAIN ALCOHOL,

WHICH, AS ANY FRAT BOY
CAN TELL YOU,

DOESN'T TASTE LIKE MUCH.

NEITHER DOES THIS, REALLY.

I SOMETIMES USE IT IF
I'M TRYING TO PRESERVE THE
COLOR OF A PARTICULAR PICKLE,

BUT OTHER THAN THAT,
IT'S...

WELL, IT'S BEST
FOR CLEANING WINDOWS.

OF COURSE, THEN
THERE ARE WINE VINEGARS.

RED WINE BEGETS
RED-WINE VINEGAR.

WHITE WINE BEGETS
WHITE-WINE VINEGAR,

SOMETIMES EVEN
CHAMPAGNE VINEGAR.

SHERRY BEGETS
SHERRY VINEGAR,

AND ON
AND SO FORTH.

NOW THE ONE KIND OF ODD BIRD
HERE IS BALSAMIC VINEGAR,

WHICH IS DEFINITELY
DIFFERENT.

BUT MOST COMMERCIAL VERSIONS
ARE NOTHING MORE THAN...

RED-WINE VINEGAR WITH SOME
CARAMEL ADDED FOR FLAVORING.

THE REAL STUFF?

WELL THAT'S ANOTHER THING
ALTOGETHER.

SEE, THE REAL
BALSAMIC VINEGAR...

ACTUALLY BEGINS WITH HIGH-GRADE
WHITE-WINE VINEGAR.

THEN, THROUGH A VERY LONG,
TEDIOUS, AND DID I MENTION, LONG
AGING PROCESS

IT IS MIRACULOUSLY CONVERTED
TO A THICK, BROWN,
SYRUPY-SWEET ELIXIR.

WHAT DOES THIS HAVE
TO DO WITH PICKLES?

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!

THE STUFF MAKES
ROTTEN PICKLES.

THE TRUTH IS,
FOR PICKLE MAKING,

I USE TWO VINEGARS
PRIMARILY...

APPLE-CIDER VINEGAR
AND RICE-WINE VINEGAR.

AS THE NAME SUGGESTS,
CIDER VINEGAR IS MADE
FROM HARD APPLE CIDER.

AND BESIDES ITS SUBTLE
APPLE FLAVOR,

I LIKE IT BECAUSE
IT'S VERY FOOD-FRIENDLY
BECAUSE IT'S BALANCED.

ITS ACIDITY DOESN'T
OVERWHELM ITS SWEETNESS.

THE OTHER THING I LIKE
IS BECAUSE IT'S GOT
THE SAME ACID LEVEL

AS THIS WHITE DISTILLED
VINEGAR,

I CAN SWITCH THEM OUT
FOR EACH OTHER IN RECIPES.

IT GIVES YOU A LITTLE BIT
MORE VERSATILITY.

THE OTHER VINEGAR
THAT I'M FOND OF,

RICE-WINE VINEGAR, IS DERIVED,
AS THE NAME WOULD SUGGEST,

FROM RICE WINE.

IT'S A LITTLE DIFFERENT
THOUGH

BECAUSE IT DOESN'T REALLY
HAVE A FLAVOR OF ITS OWN,

JUST A SUBTLE SWEETNESS
AND A VERY LOW ACIDITY.

THAT MEANS THAT
IT'S GREAT FOR MAKING,

WELL, SUBTLE,
ASIAN-STYLE PICKLES,

OR FOR CUTTING THE ACIDITY
OF HARSHER VINEGARS

IN CERTAIN PICKLE RECIPES.

THE DOWN SIDE IS YOU CANNOT
INTERCHANGE THIS FOR ANY OF
THESE OTHER VINEGARS

BECAUSE
OF THE LOWER ACIDITY.

THE SAME GOES
FOR HOMEMADE VINEGARS,
WHICH ARE GREAT ON SALAD,

BUT DUE TO THEIR
UNPREDICTABLE ACIDITY,
HAVE NO PLACE IN PICKLING.

OKAY, END OF LECTURE.

AS CAESAR'S LEGIONS KNEW
ALL TO WELL,

PICKLES CAN BE PRODUCED
WITH STRAIGHT VINEGAR.

THEY TASTE SOMETHING
LIKE THIS...

THAT IS WHY MOST OF THE
PICKLES ON THIS PLANET

ARE PRODUCED
WITH A HYBRID LIQUID --

A COMBINATION OF VINEGAR,
SALT, WATER, AND SUGAR.

SURE, THERE ARE HERBS
AND SPICES TO BE DEALT WITH,

BUT THEY MUST REMAIN
SHROUDED IN MYSTERY
FOR THE MOMENT.

WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS THAT
THE FINAL NATURE OF A PICKLE

IS GREATLY DETERMINED
BY THE PROPORTIONS
OF THESE HUMBLE ELEMENTS.

FOR INSTANCE,
LET'S SAY THAT EACH
OF THESE STERILIZED JARS

CONTAINS HALF AN ONION,
SLICED THIN,

AND TWO MEDIUM CUCUMBERS
SLICED THIN

WITH EITHER A KNIFE,
A V-SLICER, OR A FOOD PROCESSOR.

I HAPPEN TO LIKE MY PICKLES
ON THE SWEET SIDE,

BUT SOUR IS THE PREFERENCE
OF MY BROTHER.

WHY LET MY DOPPELGANGER
INTO THE HOUSE?

WELL, TO HELP ME
PROVE A POINT.

THAT BY MAKING MINISCULE
ALTERATIONS TO THE PICKLE'S DNA,

WE CAN PRODUCE RADICALLY
DIFFERENT RESULTS.

IRONIC, DON'T YOU THINK?

WE BOTH BEGIN WITH
A CUP OF WATER.

BESIDES TAKING THE BITE
OUT OF VINEGAR'S BITE,

THE ADDITIONAL LIQUID
WILL HELP KEEP THE
INFANT PICKLES SUBMERGED.

WE BOTH FOLLOW THAT UP
WITH A CUP OF CIDER VINEGAR.

BUT MY BROTHER
ALSO ADDS HALF A CUP
OF CHAMPAGNE VINEGAR.

AS FOR THE SUGAR,
1 1/2 CUP FOR ME,

A MEASLY HALF CUP
FOR HIM.

AS USUAL, WE'RE PUSHING
OPPOSITE EXTREMES

OF THE SAME ENVELOPE.

SALT, A MERE PINCH
OF KOSHER FOR ME,

TWO TABLESPOONS
PLUS TWO TEASPOONS
FOR DARK MAN OVER THERE.

NOW...
THE SPICY STUFF.

WHOLE YELLOW
MUSTARD SEEDS.

THE SWEETS GET
HALF A TEASPOON,

THE SOURS
A WHOLE TEASPOON.

FOR COLOR AND FLAVOR,
GROUND TURMERIC.

HALF A TEASPOON
FOR THE SWEETS,

BUT A MERE QUARTER
FOR THE SOURS.

CELERY SEEDS...

HALF A TEASPOON
FOR ME,

A FULL TEASPOON
FOR HIM.

SAME GOES FOR
THE PICKLING SPICE,

A TEASPOON FOR HIM,

A HALF FOR ME.

WE BRING THIS TO A BOIL
AND THEN SIMMER IT FOR
A FULL FOUR MINUTES,

JUST TO WAKE UP
THE FLAVORS.

(beeping noise)

FOUR MINUTES
OF TV TIME IS UP.

IT'S TIME TO PICKLE.

OH, I FORGOT.

THE A OVER THERE LIKES TO
ADD FOUR CLOVES OF GARLIC

(crashing noise)
CRUSHED...

STRAIGHT TO THE JAR.

CAN WE DO THIS NOW?
THANK YOU.

THE TRICK NOW IS
TO POUR --

VERY SLOWLY AND
VERY, VERY GENTLY --

OVER THE PICKLES.

NOW IN ABOUT HALF AN HOUR,
YOU MAY NOTICE THAT
THEY HAVE SHRUNK UP

TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT MORE
OF THE LIQUID.

BUT FOR NOW,
JUST BRING IT RIGHT UP
TO THE TOP.

PLEASE DO NOT SPLASH.

BE CAREFUL IF YOU HAVE
A WHITE COUNTER

BECAUSE THIS STUFF
CAN STAIN IT.

THERE.

WAIT 'TIL IT COOLS
COMPLETELY

TOP IT OFF AGAIN,
THEN INTO THE REFRIGERATOR.

HOW LONG WILL
THESE KEEP IN HERE?

WELL, FOUR OUT OF THE FIVE
MICROBES WE POLLED

SAID THEY CAN'T STAND
THE ACIDITY IN THERE,

BUT THERE ARE A FEW STRAINS
OF MOLD AND YEAST

THAT CAN LIVE IN THERE

SO YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T
LOOK BEYOND THREE MONTHS.

PERSONALLY, I'VE NEVER KEPT
ANY LONGER THAN TWO MONTHS,

BUT THEY DIDN'T GO BAD,
I ATE THEM.

ANYWAY, A GOOD RULE OF THUMB
IS, IF THEY START TO GROW
FUZZ, THROW THEM OUT.

OH YEAH, THREE TO FIVE INCH
PICKLING CUCUMBERS ARE BEST
FOR THIS,

BUT ANYTHING FROM ENGLISH
CUCUMBERS TO EVEN ZUCCHINI

MAKES A SWELL
BREAD AND BUTTER PICKLE.

INFUSION IS A METHOD
WHICH WORKS AND PLAYS
WELL WITH OTHERS.

MY BROTHER, FOR INSTANCE,
WILL CONVERT

THIS INNOCENT-LOOKING
HALF-POUND OF MINI-CARROTS

INTO COMBUSTIBLE COMESTIBLES
THAT HE CALLS FIRECRACKERS.

WHILE I ELEVATE THIS HUMBLE
SLICED BARTLETT PEAR
AND RED PLUM

INTO A COOLING DESSERT PICKLE
POSSESSING HIDDEN TALENTS,

WHICH I WILL RELEASE
ON THE UNABOMBER WHEN
HE LEAST EXPECTS IT.

WE START AS BEFORE,
WITH A CUP OF WATER
AND A CUP OF SUGAR.

SINCE I'M BUILDING A SUBTLE,
YET SWEET PICKLE,

A CUP OF RICE-WINE VINEGAR
WILL BE PRESSED INTO SERVICE.

WHILE MY BROTHER, WHO CAN'T
EVEN SPELL "SUBTLE,"

GOES WITH A CUP AND A HALF
OF CIDER VINEGAR.

BOIL 'EM
IF YOU GOT 'EM.

ALL RIGHT,
BRING ON THE FLAVOR PACKS.

MY BROTHER'S CRUEL CARROTS
RECEIVE A TEASPOON
OF ONION POWDER,

NOT ONION SALT,

HALF A TEASPOON
OF MUSTARD SEEDS,

1 1/2 TEASPOONS
OF KOSHER SALT

AND A TEASPOON
OF CHILI FLAKES.

THE FIEND.

I'VE DECIDED
TO SIDESTEP SPICES

IN LIEU OF FRESH FLAVORS
ADDED DIRECTLY TO THE FRUIT.

SAY, HALF A LEMON,
SLICED PERILOUSLY THIN,

AND A TABLESPOON WORTH
OF SLIVERED, FRESH GINGER.

WE'LL JUST PUT THAT
RIGHT BACK INTO THE JAR.

AND THEN, OF COURSE,
THE PIèCE DE RéSISTANCE,

FRESH MINT,

ONE BIG OLD SPRIG
RIGHT DOWN THE MIDDLE.

SINCE I'M NOT GOING TO BE
OPENING UP ANY SPICES,

I DON'T HAVE TO WAIT
FOR THIS TO COME TO A BOIL.

IT ONLY HAS TO BE HOT ENOUGH
TO MELT THE SUGAR.

POUR JUST AS WE DID BEFORE,
NICE AND SLOW,

AND ALL THE WAY
TO THE TOP.

LET THIS COOL DOWN
FOR AN HOUR OR TWO
ON THE COUNTER,

AND THEN REFRIGERATE
FOR TWO DAYS TO A WEEK

BEFORE ENJOYING EITHER ALONE
OR WITH ICE CREAM,

OR, HECK, EVEN
ANGEL FOOD CAKE.

WHY A HOT INFUSION?

A HOT INFUSION SPEEDS
THE PICKLING PROCESS,

BUT COLD INFUSIONS
HAVE THEIR USES, TOO.

TAKE, FOR INSTANCE,
CAULIFLOWER.

I MEAN, LET'S BE HONEST,
CAULIFLOWER JUST DOESN'T
TASTE LIKE MUCH.

THAT'S ONE OF THE REASONS
IT MAKES GREAT PICKLES --

CURRIED PICKLES, NO LESS.

START BY HEATING
A TABLESPOON OF CANOLA OIL

IN A HEAVY SKILLET
OVER A MEDIUM HEAT.

THEN, CRUSH A TEASPOON
OF CUMIN SEED

ALONG WITH A TEASPOON
OF CORIANDER SEED.

NOW, CORIANDER GROWS UP
TO BE CILANTRO,

BUT THEY DON'T TASTE
EVEN REMOTELY ALIKE...

GO FIGURE.

ADD THESE TO THE PAN
ALONG WITH A COUPLE
OF TEASPOONS OF CURRY POWDER,

A TEASPOON OF MINCED,
FRESH GINGER, AND
A CLOVE OF GARLIC...

SMASHED.

COOK THESE, STIRRING OFTEN,
UNTIL THE OIL COLORS

AND THE KITCHEN STARTS TO SMELL
LIKE AN INDIAN RESTAURANT.

THEN TOSS IN A HEAD'S WORTH
OF CAULIFLOWER FLORETS,

WASHED, OF COURSE.

IN THE MEANTIME,
COMBINE A CUP OF H2O,

ONE CUP
OF RICE-WINE VINEGAR,

AND HALF A CUP
OF CIDER VINEGAR,

ALONG WITH THREE TABLESPOONS
OF SUGAR,

AND A TEASPOON
OF PICKLING SALT.

PLACE THE LID ON --
SECURELY, I MIGHT ADD --

AND SHAKE TO COMBINE.

ONCE THE CAULIFLOWER
HAS SOFTENED A BIT,

ADD IT TO THE JAR.

COOL, CHILL,
WAIT A WEEK FOR THE MAGIC,

AND THEN SERVE
WITH OUR GRILLED LAMB,

(Alton)
WHILE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT
OF PICKLING SALT,

IT'S IMPORTANT TO NOTE THAT
IT IS CHEMICALLY IDENTICAL

TO KOSHER SALT.

THEY ARE BOTH PURE SALT.

NEITHER HAS ANY IODINE ADDED
OR ANY ANTI-CLUMPING AGENTS,

BUT THERE IS A DISTINCT
PHYSICAL DIFFERENCE.

PICKLING SALT IS A MUCH FINER
GRIND THAN KOSHER SALT.

AND THAT IS RELEVANT
TO THE COOK.

FOR INSTANCE, PICKLING SALT
IS GREAT ON POPCORN,

KOSHER SALT ISN'T.

PICKLING SALT WILL CLUMP UP
LIKE A ROCK ON A VERY HUMID DAY.

KOSHER SALT WON'T.

PICKLING SALT DISSOLVES
QUICKLY AND CLEANLY
IN COLD LIQUIDS,

LIKE OUR BRINE OVER THERE,

KOSHER SALT ONLY MELTS
IN VERY HOT LIQUID.

AND LAST BUT
BY NO MEANS LEAST,

ANY GIVEN VOLUME OF PICKLING
SALT WEIGHS ABOUT A THIRD MORE

THAN THE SAME AMOUNT
OF KOSHER SALT.

FOR INSTANCE, SAY THAT
YOU'VE GOT A RECIPE

THAT CALLS FOR 1/4 CUP
OF PICKLING SALT.

YOU THINK, "WELL,
IT'S NO PROBLEM.

"I DON'T HAVE ANY PICKLING SALT
HANGING AROUND THE HOUSE,

"SO I'LL USE THE SAME AMOUNT
OF KOSHER SALT."

WELL, BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
THAT IS A PROBLEM

BECAUSE GUESS WHAT?

THAT'S NOT APPLES
TO APPLES.

IN FACT, IF YOU HAVE A RECIPE
THAT CALLS FOR A TEASPOON
OF PICKLING SALT,

YOU NEED TO USE 1 1/2
TEASPOON OF KOSHER SALT.

WELL HERE WE ARE,
A WEEK LATER,

AND WE ARE HIGHLY ENTHUSED
ABOUT OUR INFUSIONS.

WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD
AND TRY THOSE FRUIT PICKLES.

MY SECRET WEAPON,
OF COURSE, IS THE JUICE.

NOW THAT IT'S ALL
MINTY AND MELLOW,
IT'S GOOD FOR A LOT.

HECK, THROW IT ON THE ROCKS
WITH SOME CLUB SODA,

AND YOU'VE GOT A NICE
SUMMER SPRITZER

OR YOU COULD EVEN POP IT
IN THE OLD ICE CREAM MAKER

AND SORBET...
TANGY, SWEET,
PERFECT SUMMER DESSERT.

BEAT THAT!

WELL, THERE'S PROOF.

ONE MAN'S GOOD EATS
IS ANOTHER MAN'S...

WELL, COME TO THINK OF IT,
THAT'S PROBABLY PRETTY GOOD.

OH, THANK YOU,
I WILL TRY ONE.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME
ON "GOOD EATS."

NOW, THAT'S WHAT
I CALL GOOD EATS!