Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 3, Episode 6 - Three Chips for Sister Marsha - full transcript

(Alton Brown)
MEET MY NEIGHBOR BOB --

LOVING HUSBAND AND FATHER,
SCRATCH GOLFER,
BACKYARD COOKING ENTHUSIAST,

AND -- I MIGHT ADD --
A DARN FINE ROCKET SCIENTIST.

NOW FROM A DISTANCE,
IT LOOKS LIKE

BOB'S HAVING SOME TROUBLE
WITH HIS DELOREAN.

BUT LOOK CLOSER --
BEHOLD, BOB'S NEW GRILL.

THAT FAT, FOUR-FIGURES-WORTH
OF STATE-OF-THE-ART TECHNOLOGY

IS CURRENTLY
APPLYING 6,000 BTUs

TO A LEG OF TASMANIAN LAMB
THAT BOB HAD OVERNIGHTED IN

JUST FOR THOSE DINERS
ASSEMBLED INSIDE.

NOW WITH ITS ANCIENT ORIGINS
AND PRIMITIVE COMPONENTS,



GRILLING IS CHILD'S PLAY
FOR THE LIKES OF BOB.

(Alton)
TALK ABOUT A FIERY RE-ENTRY --
HOPE THEY CAN RECOVER
THE BLACK BOX.

I GUESS, IN THE END,
WHAT SEPARATES GRILLING GRIEF
FROM GRATIFICATION

IS NOT M.I.T. DIPLOMAS
OR $2,000 GRILLS

OR COSTLY CUTS OF MEAT.

WHAT IT REALLY
COMES DOWN TO

IS OLD-FASHIONED KNOW-HOW
AND A GOOD FIRE.

JOIN US AS WE PONDER THE WORLD'S
OLDEST COOKING METHOD.

WE'LL FIND THE RIGHT GEAR,
FIRE THE RIGHT FUEL,

EMPLOY THE NECESSARY TOOLS,
AND IMPLEMENT THE
ELEMENTARY PRINCIPLES

NECESSARY TO PRODUCE
A GREAT PIECE OF GRILLED
ROASTING MEAT,

WITHOUT DRAGGING YOU
OR YOUR GUESTS
OVER THE COALS.

SOUND LIKE FUN?
SOUNDS LIKE "GOOD EATS."

LIKE MY NEIGHBOR BOB,
I'M A LEG-OF-LAMB MAN.



NO OTHER CHUNK OF BEAST
IS BETTER SUITED
TO COOKING OVER COALS.

IT'S MOUTH-MELTINGLY TENDER,
AND FLAVORFUL ENOUGH

TO STAND UP AGAINST A HOST
OF AFTER-MARKET SEASONINGS.

ALAS, IT IS
A BIG HUNK OF MEAT.

WHICH IS WHY, UNLESS I'M
SERVING EIGHT TO TEN PEOPLE,

I GO WITH HALF
A LEG OF LAMB.

NOW THERE ARE PLENTY
OF OLD-WORLD BUTCHERS OUT THERE

WHO WILL DO CUSTOM CUTS
FOR YOU,

BUT AT THE AVERAGE
AMERICAN MARKET,
BISECT IS KING.

NOW THE HALF THAT WAS
FURTHEST FROM THE HOOF

IS CALLED THE
SIRLOIN-CUT END,

BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY STILL
HAS A PIECE OF SIRLOIN
CONNECTED TO IT.

THE END THAT WAS
CLOSEST TO THE HOOF

IS CALLED
THE SHANK-CUT END.

NOW THERE'S REALLY NO SUCH THING
AS A TOUGH PIECE OF LAMB,

BUT SINCE IT CONTAINS
LESS CONNECTIVE TISSUE,

THE SIRLOIN-CUT END
IS BETTER SUITED

TO COOKING MEDIUM-RARE,
WHICH IS HOW I LIKE IT
ON THE GRILL.

NOW A LOT OF MARKETS
CARRY LEGS OF LAMB

THAT HAVE BEEN BONED,
ROLLED AND TIED

AT THE FACTORY, AND THEN
SEALED INTO CRYOVAC BAGS.

SINCE YOU'RE PAYING
PARTIALLY FOR A BAGFUL
OF LIQUID IN THAT CASE,

I DON'T THINK YOU GET
AS MUCH LEG FOR THE LOOT.

SO BUY WHOLE, AND LET
YOUR BUTCHER DO THE WORK.

SO FLIP IT FAT SIDE DOWN
AND TAKE A LOOK.

THERE WE'VE GOT
AN END OF A CUT BONE,

AND, IF YOU DIG DOWN,
A JOINT.

JUST TAKE YOUR KNIFE
AND JUST KIND OF CUT

RIGHT DOWN THROUGH
THAT JOINT,

AND YOU'LL BE
RIGHT ON TOP OF THE BONE.

THERE, NOW JUST OPEN
THAT UP WITH YOUR FINGERS,

AND WITH THE END
OF YOUR BONING KNIFE --

OR EVEN A PARING KNIFE --

JUST KIND OF PEEL
THE MEAT OFF THE BONE.

BONING OUT GIVES YOU ACCESS
TO THE INNER SANCTUM
OF THE MEAT,

WHICH WE WILL
TAKE ADVANTAGE OF
SOON ENOUGH.

JUST KIND OF GRAB IT...

AND SCOOT YOUR KNIFE DOWN
AROUND THAT JOINT.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT GETTING
EVERY LITTLE BIT OF MEAT

OFF OF THE JOINT
RIGHT THERE,

'CAUSE MOST OF IT IS
CONNECTIVE TISSUE ANYWAY.

THERE.

NOW WHILE YOU'RE IN HERE,
LOOK AROUND

FOR ANY REALLY BIG
CHUNKS OF FAT,

OR GNARLY CONNECTIVE TISSUE.

BUT DON'T OVER-TRIM,
BECAUSE SEE,

THIS ROAST IS ACTUALLY
SEVERAL MUSCLE GROUPS,

HELD TOGETHER
BY CONNECTIVE TISSUE.

IF YOU OVER-TRIM,
IT'S GONNA LITERALLY

COME APART AT THE SEAMS.

NOW I'M GONNA OPEN UP
THIS ONE BIG MUSCLE,

RIGHT THERE WHERE
THE BONE WAS,

AND WE CAN GET IT
MORE EVEN LATER ON.

LITTLE BIT OF FAT THERE,
BUT LEAVE THAT...

OKAY, THAT LOOKS GOOD,
NOW FLIP IT OVER

AND TAKE A LOOK
AT THE FAT LAYER.

NOW I'M NOT WORRIED
ABOUT THE FAT,

BECAUSE MOST OF IT'S
GONNA MELT AWAY.

BUT THERE IS A THIN MEMBRANE
CALLED THE FELL,

WHICH CAN GET
KIND OF THICK.

SO I'M JUST GONNA GO
RIGHT UNDER THERE...

IT'S AN IMPERMEABLE MEMBRANE --

AS YOU CAN SEE, IT'S ALMOST
LIKE A DUCK'S WEBBED FOOT.

YOU JUST WANNA CUT OFF
THE MAIN PART OF THAT.

BUT YOU DON'T WANNA GO
THROUGH THE FAT

IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

SEE THAT, THAT'S
LIKE A BIG RUBBER BAND
ON TOP OF THE MEAT.

NOW YOU CAN TRIM OFF
EXTRA FAT WHILE YOU'RE HERE,

BUT IT'S GONNA RENDER OFF
DURING COOKING,

SO I REALLY
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

AGAIN, IF YOU OVER-TRIM
ON THIS SIDE,

THE ROAST WILL FALL APART.

BEFORE WE CLOSE,
TIME TO ADD SOME FLAVORS.

NOW TAKE COTTON TWINE --
BUTCHER'S TWINE --

AND CUT ABOUT FIVE PIECES
ABOUT 17 INCHES LONG.

THAT'S ABOUT THE WIDTH
OF MY BOARD.

JUST CUT THEM
INTO INDIVIDUAL PIECES.

AND YOU'RE ALSO GONNA
NEED ONE PIECE THAT'S
DOUBLE THAT LENGTH.

NOW SMEAR THE WET STUFF
ON THE RED STUFF,

EVERYWHERE THAT
YOU CAN SEE.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT, YOU WILL
GET IT ALL ON THERE.

NOW THE IDEA IS
TO LOOK AT THE ROAST

AND FIGURE OUT A WAY
TO GET IT INTO A CAPSULE
OR TUBE SHAPE.

IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE PERFECT,
AND EVERY PIECE OF MEAT
IS DIFFERENT.

NOW START YOUR TRUSSING
BY PUTTING ONE STRING

RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE,
BONE SIDE DOWN.

NOW TO CLOSE,
YOU'RE GONNA START

LIKE YOU WOULD
WITH A SQUARE KNOT,

BUT YOU'RE GONNA GO UNDER
TWO MORE TIMES.

TWO, THREE...
THIS IS A SURGEON'S KNOT.

NOW NOT TOO TIGHT,
JUST SNUG.

THERE, NOW FINISH JUST LIKE
YOU WOULD A SQUARE KNOT,

JUST ONE UNDERHAND --

THE SAME KNOT THEY USED
TO CLOSE YOU UP

WHEN YOU HAD THAT
TRIPLE BY-PASS.

REPEAT AS MANY TIMES
AS IS NECESSARY

TO KIND OF SECURE
A TUBE SHAPE.

AND NOT TOO TIGHT --
YOU'VE GOT TO REMEMBER

THAT THE MEAT'S
GOING TO EXPAND.

YOU DON'T WANNA GIVE IT
A BARBIE WAISTLINE.

NOW TAKE THE LONG PIECE
AND PLACE IT UNDERNEATH
THE CENTER STRING.

HOLD UP THE ENDS UNTIL
IT IS OF EVEN LENGTH
IN BOTH DIRECTIONS.

NOW YOU'RE GONNA
TAKE ONE END

AND JUST LOOP IT UNDERNEATH
THE MIDDLE STRING,

SO THAT YOU'VE KINDA
GOT IT CAPTURED IN A LOOP,

JUST LIKE THAT...
THERE.

NOW YOU'RE GONNA REPEAT THAT
AROUND EVERY STRING
ACROSS THE ROAST.

NOW AGAIN, YOU'RE NOT TRYING
TO GET ANYTHING TIGHT HERE.

THIS ISN'T RIGGING SAILS
ON A YACHT.

THIS IS JUST TO HOLD ALL
OF THOSE STRINGS IN PLACE
DURING COOKING.

SO LOOP IT UNDER, AND PULL.

NOW ONCE YOU'RE GOT IT
TRUSSED ALL THE WAY ACROSS,

FROM ONE END TO THE OTHER,

JUST GENTLY TAKE THE ROAST
AND ROLL IT OVER.

AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA
REPEAT THE SAME PROCESS,

MOVING FROM THE FAT END
DOWN TO THE POINTY END.

JUST GO UNDERNEATH
AND PULL -- THERE.

AND AGAIN IN THE MIDDLE...

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS
ON EVERY SINGLE STRING,

BUT EVERY PLACE
WHERE YOU CAN GET AT IT.

THEN LOOP IT AGAIN,
AROUND ONE MORE TIME,

ONCE YOU GET
TO THE SMALL END,

JUST TO MAKE SURE
IT'S SECURE.

AND PERFORM THE EXACT
SAME SURGEON'S KNOT.

THERE --
AGAIN, NOT TOO TIGHT.

THERE'S THE FINISHING KNOT,

AND THEN JUST TRIM UP
ALL THE LOOSE ENDS.

AND DON'T WORRY,
THE MOISTURE FROM THE MEAT

WILL KEEP THE STRING
FROM BURNING DURING COOKING.

THERE, THAT'S IT!

TODAY'S GRILL SEEKER HAS
A LOT OF DECISIONS TO MAKE.

FOR INSTANCE, ARE YOU
GONNA BUY GAS, OR CHARCOAL?

NOW BORN DURING THE
BARBECUE HEYDAY OF THE '50s,

GAS GRILLS COMBINE TWO
FAVORITE AMERICAN OBSESSIONS --

CONVENIENCE,
AND SETTING THINGS ON FIRE.

NOW I CAN DIG
THE CONVENIENCE ANGLE,

BUT YOU JUST NEVER HEAR
ANYBODY WAXING LYRICAL

ABOUT THAT GOOD OL'
PROPANE FLAVOR.

OF COURSE, THE WORLD
OF CHARCOAL GRILLS

IS JUST AS DAUNTING.

YOU'VE GOT CERAMIC COOKERS,
OPEN GRILLS, TABLE GRILLS,

STEEL DRUM GRILLS, SMOKERS
WITH EXTERIOR FIREBOXES...

AND OF COURSE,
THE AMERICAN KETTLE,

DEVELOPED IN 1951 BY ILLINOIS
METALWORKER GEORGE STEVEN,

WHO FASHIONED HIS PROTOTYPE
FROM MARINE BUOY PARTS

THAT HE ASSEMBLED DOWN AT THE
WEBBER BROTHERS METALWORKS.

BUT WHAT REALLY DOES
CONSTITUTE A GREAT GRILL?

WELL, WE MIGHT AS WELL
ASK JIM WEATHERLY,

BECAUSE UNTIL SOMEBODY BUYS
THEM, ALL THESE ARE HIS.

WELL, THE FIRST THING
IS SIZE.

YOU WANNA GET SOMETHING
THE RIGHT SIZE
FOR YOUR FAMILY.

GENERALLY SPEAKING, YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE A COUPLE OF BIG
COOKOUTS A YEAR, PROBABLY,

SO YOU WANNA GET SOMETHING
WITH A GOOD SIZE,

MORE THAN JUST ENOUGH
TO FEED A COUPLE OF PEOPLE.

SO THIS WOULD BE
A GOOD SIZE.
THIS IS A GOOD SIZE.

HOW MANY SQUARE FEET
OF COOKING AREA HERE?
THIS IS ABOUT 600 INCHES.

THIS IS A BIG ONE.
GOOD DEAL.

SO THAT'S IMPORTANT.

SECOND IS THE HOOD.

I'D GET SOMETHING
WITH A THERMOMETER
IN THE HOOD.

IF YOU'RE COOKING
CHICKENS OR TURKEYS,

IT'S GREAT TO BE ABLE
TO CONTROL THE TEMPERATURE

INSIDE THIS
BIG CAVITY HERE.
RIGHT.

ALSO, I'D AVOID
SOMETHING WITH THE WINDOW.

THE WINDOWS WILL BREAK,
SOMETIMES THEY'LL
GET SMOKY --

IT'S JUST NOT
A GREAT IDEA FOR GRILLS.
THE CHICKEN DOESN'T NEED
TO SEE OUT, ANYWAY.

NEXT, WITH THE COOKING GRILLS --
THE HEAVIER, THE BETTER.

THESE ARE CAST-IRON,
FEEL HOW HEAVY THEY ARE.

SO THESE WIDER,
CAST JOBS ARE
ACTUALLY BETTER

THAN THOSE LITTLE
CHROME GUYS.
MUCH BETTER,

ESPECIALLY FOR STEAKS
AND CHOPS -- THEY'RE HOTTER.
THEY'RE FASTER,
AND HOTTER...

YOU WANNA MARK THINGS.
THAT'S RIGHT.

NOW THESE, YOU CAN
JUST POP IN THE OVEN,

AND THEY'LL SELF-CLEAN,
RIGHT?
THAT'S RIGHT.

PUT SOME OIL
ON THE BOTTOM...
THAT'S RIGHT,
PUT SOME OIL ON 'EM.

WHAT ABOUT UNDERNEATH
THOSE?

UNDERNEATH THOSE, YOU
NEED SOME WAY TO CONTROL
HOW HOT THE FIRE GETS.

YOU CAN EITHER DO THAT
THROUGH RAISING AND LOWERING
THE FIRE,

WHICH IS HOW
THIS GRILL WORKS...
A LITTLE CHARCOAL
ELEVATOR... SWEET.

BUT YOU DON'T SEE THAT
TOO OFTEN, RIGHT?

A LOT OF GRILLS
DON'T HAVE THAT.

WITH OTHER GRILLS,
THEY CONTROL IT BY
HOW HOT THE FIRE GETS,

AND THAT'S BY
HOW MUCH AIR
GETS IN THERE.
CONVECTION.

MORE AIR MAKES
A HOTTER FIRE,

LESS AIR
COOLS IT OFF.
OKAY.

AND THEN FINALLY,
IT'S IMPORTANT

TO HAVE AN ASH DRAWER
TO CLEAN THINGS OUT.

THE ASHES AREN'T
GREAT IN THERE --

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY GET WET,
THEY'LL CORRODE THE BOTTOM
OF THE GRILL

AND WEAR IT OUT
MUCH FASTER.
'CAUSE THEY'RE ACIDIC,
RIGHT?

'CAUSE THEY'RE ACIDIC,
THAT'S RIGHT.
GOT IT.

SO CLEAN
YOUR GRILL OFTEN,
AS FAR AS THE ASHES GO.

IS THIS JUST
CHARCOAL ACCESS?
THAT'S ACCESS TO CHARCOAL,
OR TO ADD WOOD CHIPS

WHILE YOU'RE COOKIN' --
IF YOU WANNA SMOKE SOMETHING,
IT'S GREAT FOR THAT.

IF YOU'VE GOT A GRILL
WHERE THE GRATE'S DOWN
OVER THE CHARCOAL,

AND YOU DON'T HAVE
ACCESS, THEN YOU CAN'T
ADD HEAT DURING COOKING.

YOU'VE GOTTA LIFT ALL YOUR
FOOD OFF AND EVERYTHING --
IT'S REALLY A HASSLE.

AS WITH ANY QUALITY TOOL,

SIMPLE IS NOT SYNONYMOUS
WITH CHEAP.

ALL CHEAP BUYS YOU
IS A HUNK OF USELESSNESS

THAT WILL QUICKLY MORPH
INTO A "SANFORD AND SON"
SET PIECE.

OF COURSE, EVEN A
GREAT GRILL WILL DE-EVOLVE

INTO A RUST BUCKET IF LEFT
EXPOSED TO THE ELEMENTS.

SO BUILD A SHED,
KEEP IT IN THE GARAGE,

OR BUY YOURSELF A COVER.

THAT ONE'S DEFINITELY TOO...

AH, HERE WE GO.

LET'S SAY THAT YOU TOOK
A NICE, BIG HARDWOOD LOG

AND YOU BURNED IT
IN A LOW-OXYGEN ENVIRONMENT.

"WHOA," YOU SAY,

"WOOD WON'T BURN IN A
LOW-OXYGEN ENVIRONMENT."

WELL, NOT ALL OF IT, MAYBE --
BUT SOME OF IT WILL.

FOR INSTANCE --
WATER WILL BOIL AWAY,

TAR WILL DEFINITELY
COOK OUT, VOLATILE OILS --

WHICH DON'T TASTE
VERY GOOD --
WILL COOK AWAY.

AND OF COURSE, THERE'S JUST
OTHER STUFF IN WOOD.

THEN, WHAT YOU'RE LEFT WITH
IS ABOUT 70 TO 80 PERCENT
LIGHTER THAN THIS,

AND IT'S CALLED CHARCOAL.

BREAK IT UP INTO CHUNKS,
AND YOU'VE GOT

THE MOST POPULAR COOKING
FUEL ON EARTH --
CHUNK CHARCOAL.

CHUNK CHARCOAL
IS THE FUEL OF CHOICE

FOR GRILLING AFICIONADOS,
BECAUSE IT'S ALMOST
PURE CARBON.

IT LIGHTS FASTER,
BURNS CLEANER,

BURNS HOTTER,
AND PRODUCES BETTER FLAVORS

THAN BRIQUETTES, WHICH
HAVE TO BE BOUND TOGETHER

WITH VEGETABLE STARCH,
BORAX, LIMESTONES,

SOMETIMES EVEN YUMMY
PETROLEUM BY-PRODUCTS.

NOW THIS STUFF DOES
TAKE JUST A LITTLE BIT
OF GETTING USED TO.

BUT BELIEVE ME, IT'S
WELL WORTH THE EFFORT.

OF COURSE, IF YOU'VE JUST
GOT TO GO WITH BRIQUETTES,

AT LEAST BUY
ALL-NATURAL BRIQUETTES,

AND MAKE SURE THAT
THEY ARE FULLY LIT

BEFORE YOU PUT
FOOD TO FIRE.

WELL, NOW THAT WE HAVE
THE FUEL WORKED OUT,

TIME FOR...
IGNITION.

HERE ARE THE OPTIONS.

THE EVER-POPULAR
ELECTRIC COIL --

EXTREMELY EFFECTIVE,
BUT YOU KNOW,

THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT
HAVING TO PLUG IN YOUR GRILL,

IT JUST SEEMS WRONG SOMEHOW.

THEN OF COURSE, THERE ARE
THESE LITTLE HIGH-TECH
PARAFFIN TABLETS.

THE PROBLEM IS, THEY ONLY
IGNITE A VERY SMALL SPACE,

AND THE FIRE NEVER
REALLY GETS EVEN,

IT NEVER FULFILLS
ITS THERMAL POTENTIAL.

THEN THERE ARE YOUR VARIOUS
FIRE-IN-A-TUBE PRODUCTS --

VERY MISSION IMPOSSIBLE,
BUT YOU KNOW,

MISTAKE THIS FOR YOUR
TOOTHPASTE JUST ONCE, AND...

IT'S BAD.

THEN OF COURSE, THERE'S THE
OL' STANDBY, LIGHTER FLUID.

SOME FOLKS JUST
SWEAR BY THIS STUFF,
LIKE MY NEIGHBOR, BOB.

(man screaming)
AAAHHHHH!!!
BUT I DON'T KNOW, SOMEHOW
IT JUST MAKES ME NERVOUS.

ME, I'LL STICK BY THE OL'
STANDARD CHIMNEY STARTER,

AND A COPY
OF YESTERDAY'S PAPER.

NOW CHIMNEY STARTERS HAVE
LOTS OF UNIQUE ADVANTAGES.

FOR INSTANCE, YOU CAN BE
FIRING UP YOUR CHARCOAL
OVER HERE,

WHILE YOU'RE STILL
FUTZIN' AROUND WITH
YOUR GRILL OVER THERE.

ALSO, DURING LONG
GRILL SESSIONS --

LIKE, SAY,
THANKSGIVING TURKEY

OR CHRISTMAS ROAST --

YOU CAN HAVE A NICE,
BIG STASH OF HOT COALS
STANDING BY.

ALL IT TAKES IS
FILLING IT UP

AND PUTTING IN ONE NICE,
BIG CHUNK OF NEWSPAPER,

THEN PUT THE FIRE TO IT.

I LIKE TO USE
A HOT DOG FIRESTICK,
BUT THAT'S JUST ME.

NOW THE BIG QUESTION
THAT EVERYBODY ALWAYS ASKS IS,

"HOW MUCH CHARCOAL?"

WELL, UNFORTUNATELY,
IT'S NOT AN EASY ANSWER.

SEE, IT'S GOT TO DO
WITH THE SIZE OF YOUR GRILL,

THE MATERIAL OF YOUR GRILL,
AND OF COURSE,

THE MATERIAL THAT YOU'RE
GONNA BE PUTTING
ON THE GRILL TO COOK.

NOW WE'RE COOKING LAMB,
WHICH IS PRETTY BULLET-PROOF.

IT DOESN'T MIND REALLY,
REALLY HIGH TEMPERATURES,

SO I'M STARTING WITH
A JAM-PACKED CHIMNEY
FULL OF CHARCOAL.

I'M GONNA GET IT
WICKED HOT IN THERE.

I'M GONNA SEAR THE MEAT
AND THEN LET IT
FINISH COOKING

AS THE HEAT JUST DIES
FROM THE EMBERS.

DO ME A FAVOR -- DON'T
DO THIS ON A WOODEN SURFACE.

DON'T DO THIS ON YOUR DECK
OR A WOODEN PATIO --

THIS IS GONNA GET
REALLY, REALLY HOT.

SO DO IT EITHER ON CONCRETE,
A CINDER BLOCK,

OR WHAT I LIKE --
AN UPSIDE-DOWN,
GALVANIZED BUCKET.

IN FIFTEEN MINUTES, THIS
IS GONNA BE DANTE'S INFERNO.

(Alton)
NOW ALL THAT WHITE ASH
LETS YOU KNOW

THAT THIS CHARCOAL
IS READY.

YOU MIGHT SEE
A LITTLE BIT OF FIRE,

BUT NOT A WHOLE LOT.

AND THAT IS BECAUSE
MOST OF THE COMPOUNDS
THAT CREATE FIRE --

AND SMOKE,
FOR THAT MATTER --

AREN'T THERE ANYMORE.

NOW I USUALLY PUT ON
A LITTLE BIT OF FRESH CHARCOAL,

JUST TO BUFFER THIS UP
A BIT,

JUST ENOUGH TO KINDA
COVER IT WITH ONE LAYER.

NOW DESPITE WHAT ALL OF THOSE
TV COMMERCIALS TELL US,

CHAR-BROILED FOOD IS EVIL.
WHY?

WELL, FOR ONE THING, SOOT
IS NOT A VALID FLAVORING.

AND NUMBER TWO, SOME
RECENT STUDIES SUGGEST

THAT ACTUAL FLAME-CHAR
ON FOOD CAN CAUSE CANCER.

DOESN'T MATTER REALLY,
BECAUSE I'M NOT GONNA
GIVE IT THE OPPORTUNITY.

THE REASON WHY IS, WE'RE
GONNA USE INDIRECT COOKING,

WHICH IS THE WAY
THAT I DO EVERY BIG ROAST

OR LARGE PIECE OF MEAT
THAT'S GONNA TAKE MORE
THAN A FEW MINUTES.

NOW IF YOU DO HAVE BASKETS,
JUST SPLIT THEM APART.

PUSH ONE TO ONE SIDE,
AND ONE TO THE OTHER.

THAT'LL PROVIDE
THE INDIRECT HEAT.

IF YOU DON'T HAVE BASKETS,
JUST SPLIT THE PILE
DOWN THE MIDDLE,

AND SHOVE THEM
TO EACH SIDE OF THE GRILL.

AND NOW,
THE FINAL CHECKLIST.

IT'S IMPORTANT TO HAVE
A LIST WHEN YOU'RE GRILLING,

'CAUSE IT'S NOT JUST LIKE YOU
CAN JUST STOP IN THE MIDDLE
AND GO GET THINGS.

SO FIRST AND MOST IMPORTANTLY,
A TABLE... CHECK.

WHOO, CORINTHIAN...
NICE.

OF COURSE, IONIAN OR DORIAN
WOULD BE FINE.

NEXT UP, A CLEAN
WORK SURFACE... SPLENDID.

FLAME TAMER --
SQUIRT BOTTLE FOR
FLAME-UPS -- VERY GOOD.

SPRING-LOADED TONGS --
I'VE ALREADY GOT THEM.

VERY GOOD...

A GRILL SWAB, WITH
A LITTLE CANOLA OIL

FOR RUBBING DOWN
THE GRILL -- VERY GOOD --
LITTLE FASTER, PLEASE.

HEAVY-DUTY ALUMINUM FOIL
DRIP PAN, GOT THAT...

PROBE THERMOMETER,
PROBE THERMOMETER,

PROBE THERMOMETER...
VERY GOOD.

LET'S SEE, A CLEAN PLATTER,
FOR RECEIVING THE
FINISHED GOODS,

VERY IMPORTANT...
VERY GOOD, VERY GOOD.

COMFY CHAIR,
I'VE GOT THAT...

A LOVELY BEVERAGE,
LOVELY BEVERAGE...

YES, THAT IS LOVELY,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH...

AND THEN LAST,
BUT NOT LEAST,

LET'S SEE, WE'VE GOT
A FIRE EXTINGUISHER.

BY THE WAY, THESE
ARE REQUIRED BY LAW
IN A LOT OF CITIES,

SO DON'T GET A TICKET,
KEEP THIS AROUND.

OH, AND OF COURSE,
YOU HAVE TO HAVE CLEAN
GRILL GRATES, RIGHT?

PERFECTLY CLEAN...

(yelling)
PAUL...
GET OVER HERE!!!

(Paul screaming)

PAUL HAS LEARNED AN
INVALUABLE GRILLING LESSON,

WHICH IS THIS --

JUST BECAUSE YOU
DON'T SEE PYROTECHNICS

DOESN'T MEAN
THAT IT ISN'T...
(Paul)
HOT...HOT...HOT...

IN FACT, CHARCOAL CAN BURN
ABOUT 200 DEGREES HOTTER
THAN WOOD,

WITH NO DISCERNIBLE
FIRE OR SMOKE.

HEY, ARE YOU GONNA DANCE,
OR YOU GONNA CLEAN?

(Alton)
IF YOUR GRATES LOOK LIKE
SOMETHING THEY PULLED OUT
OF THE TITANIC,

THROW THEM AWAY
AND BUY NEW ONES.

IF THEY'RE JUST PLAIN 'OL
GUNKY,
SAVE YOUR ARM

AND SEND THEM THROUGH
THE SELF-CLEANING CYCLE
OF YOUR OVEN.

IF THE GOOP IS MARGINAL,
TAKE A WIRE BRUSH

OR PUMICE STONE TO THEM.

THEY'RE AVAILABLE AT YOUR
LOCAL HARDWARE STORE.

OUR ON-BOARD THERMOMETER
SAYS WE'RE TOPPIN' OUT
AT ABOUT 500 DEGREES,

OUR CUSTOM DRIP PAN
IS IN PLACE,

AND THE LAST OF THE GRATES --
CLEAN -- IS FLYING IN.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH, PAUL.

NOW BEFORE WE USE THESE,
WE MUST GIVE THEM

A RUB-DOWN WITH
A LITTLE CANOLA OIL.

I'VE JUST GOT A LITTLE TOWEL
ROLLED UP LIKE A ROAST,

JUST RUB IT DOWN.

THIS IS ONE OF THOSE THINGS
THAT'S KINDA LIKE
HONING YOUR KNIFE.

YOU NEED TO DO IT
EVERY TIME YOU USE THE TOOL,

JUST ENOUGH TO KEEP THINGS
FROM STICKING.

NOW...
THE ROAST.

AHHHH.

RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE --

RIGHT IN BETWEEN THE
TWO PILES OF COALS --

AND THE LID GOES DOWN.

NOW KEEPING THIS COVERED
IS GONNA DO TWO THINGS.

ONE, IT'S GONNA HELP
TO CONCENTRATE THAT
INDIRECT HEAT --

GET IT MOVING
AROUND THE ROAST,
WHICH IS GOOD --

AND IT'S ALSO GONNA KEEP
THE O2 LEVEL DOWN,

AND THAT IS GONNA
PREVENT FLARE-UPS.

AS WE'VE SAID, FLAMES
ARE NOT A VALID FLAVORING,

BUT SMOKE,
ON THE OTHER HAND, IS.

ROSEMARY!

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
SEE THE MEDIC ABOUT THAT.

NOW WE COULD TALK ABOUT
SMOKING AGENTS ALL DAY --

MESQUITE, HICKORY,
CORN COBS, WET TEA BAGS --

BUT SMOKING'S ANOTHER SHOW.

AS FOR LAMB --
A COUPLE OF ROSEMARY TWIGS

WILL DO THE TRICK NICELY.

NOW SET YOUR TIMER
FOR 20 MINUTES,

AND GO ENJOY
THAT LOVELY BEVERAGE.

TIME TO TURN.

NOW YOU WANNA DO THIS
AS FAST AS POSSIBLE,

SO YOU DON'T
WASTE YOUR HEAT.

FIRST, FLIP IT OVER ONCE,
AND THEN TURN IT END-TO-END,

LIKE THAT --
IT'S A COMPLETE ROTATION.

NOW TAKE THE PROBE FROM YOUR
TRUSTY PROBE THERMOMETER,

AND INSERT DOWN AT AN ANGLE,
SO THAT YOUR PROBE

IS NOT IN THE DIRECT
LINE OF FIRE.

AND THEN PLUG THAT
INTO YOUR THERMOMETER.

NOW LAMB CAN BE COOKED
TO ANY TEMPERATURE --

RARE, MEDIUM, WELL,
WHATEVER --

BUT AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,
IT'S EITHER DONE,
OR IT'S NOT DONE.

AND DONE FOR ME
IS 140 DEGREES.

NOW A PIECE OF MEAT
THIS SIZE

WILL EASILY CARRY OVER
FIVE DEGREES AFTER
YOU REMOVE IT,

SO I'M GOING
FOR 135 DEGREES.

IT'LL PROBABLY TAKE ANOTHER
25, MAYBE 30 MINUTES.

AS FAR AS THE FIRE,
EH, FORGET ABOUT IT.

I MEAN, IT'S GONNA GO OUT --
THAT'S WHAT FIRES DO --

BUT THAT'S GOOD
IN THIS CASE.

BECAUSE, YOU SEE,
YOU'VE HAD SO MUCH HEAT

PUSHING IN ON THAT MEAT
THAT YOU'VE GOT A GREAT CHAR
ON THE OUTSIDE.

IF THAT SAME HEAT WERE
TO KEEP PUSHING ON IT,

THEN, BY THE TIME THE MIDDLE
WAS NICE AND MEDIUM-RARE,

THE OUTSIDE
WOULD BE CHARCOAL.

SO THE HEAT GOES DOWN
ON THE OUTSIDE,

THE PRESSURE GENTLY,
GENTLY COOKS THROUGH
TO THE MIDDLE.

IF YOU'VE EVER SEEN
A ROAST BEEF RECIPE

THAT CALLED FOR STARTING
IN A 500-DEGREE OVEN,

AND FINISHING
IN A 300-DEGREE OVEN,

SAME THING.

NOW PROPER RESTING
IS CRUCIAL.

IT TAKES 15 MINUTES MINIMUM
FOR THE JUICES IN THAT ROAST
TO RE-DISTRIBUTE --

TWENTY WOULDN'T BE
A BAD IDEA.

THERE, NOW YOU NOTICE
THAT THE STRINGS

HAVE ALREADY BEEN CUT OFF.

ALWAYS TAKE THE STRINGS OFF
BEFORE LETTING THE MEAT REST --

IT KINDA HELPS THOSE JUICES
TO RE-DISTRIBUTE.

NOW SLICE WITH NICE,
LONG ACTION,

AND THERE --
PERFECTLY GRILLED LAMB.

THERE'S A LITTLE SMOKE RING --
A LITTLE PINK RING --

IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY.

THAT'S CAUSED BY A REACTION
BETWEEN CHEMICALS

AND THE SMOKE
AND THE PROTEIN IN THE LAMB.

BARBECUE-ERS KILL
FOR THAT SIGHT.

WELL, WE HOPE THAT OUR
LITTLE DEMONSTRATION HERE

HAS FUELED UP
THE PRIMITIVE PYRO IN YOU.

JUST REMEMBER --
ALWAYS BUY GOOD GEAR,

KEEP IT CLEAN,
DO NOT SKIMP ON FUEL.

USE TONGS, NEVER POKE AT THE
FOOD WHILE IT'S COOKING,

AND CONSIDER USING
A MARINADE OR A PASTE

TO ENHANCE THE FLAVOR.

AND WHEN IT'S
ALL SAID AND DONE,

GIVE IT A REST,
AND YOU WILL BE REWARDED.

AND ABOVE ALL,
YOU'RE PLAYING WITH FIRE,

SO BE CAREFUL OUT THERE.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME,
ON "GOOD EATS."