Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 3, Episode 1 - American Pickle - full transcript

(Alton Brown)
WHEN I WAS A KID,

THE FUTURE WAS
WHERE IT WAS AT.

I DON'T KNOW IF IT WAS ALL
THOSE APOLLO LAUNCHES...

MAYBE IT WAS ALL
THE TANG I DRANK,

OR MAYBE IT WAS THOSE
POPULAR SCIENCE FILMS --

YOU KNOW, THE ONES WHERE
THE NARRATOR WAS ALWAYS
MAKING BIG PROMISES

ABOUT THE MARVELS
OF TOMORROW?

(narrator)
WITH THE PUSH OF A BUTTON,

TOMORROW'S COMMUTER
WILL SIMPLY HOP OVER
PESKY TRAFFIC JAMS

VIA PERSONAL JET PACKS.

(Alton)
PERSONAL JET PACK --
THERE YOU GO.



OF COURSE, WHAT
I WAS REALLY HOT FOR

WAS ONE OF THOSE
FOOD SYNTHESIZERS.

YOU KNOW, LIKE THEY HAD
ON THE ENTERPRISE, RIGHT?

I USED TO WONDER,
"WHAT WOULD YOU
FUEL THAT WITH?"

I MEAN, WHAT COULD
YOU PUT IN THERE

THAT WOULD BE
THAT VERSATILE?

AND THEN I GET IT --
TOFU.

(narrator)
FORMULATED FROM THAT
SUPER-LEGUME OF THE FUTURE,

GLYCINE MAX.

OR TO YOU AND ME,
THE SOYBEAN.

I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW,
IT'S NOT HIGH-TECH.

BUT BEAR WITH ME.

I MEAN, BESIDES A 95 PERCENT
ADJUSTABILITY RATE,

EIGHT ESSENTIAL
AMINO ACIDS,



AND ALL THOSE HEALTH-TRENDY
PHYTOCHEMICALS,

TOFU IS A PROFOUNDLY PLASTIC
PROTO-STAPLE,

AS FLEXIBLE AS ANY OL'
SPACE-LY SPROCKET.

SO JOIN US, WON'T YOU,
AS WE PROBE

DEEP INTO THE HEART
OF A FOOD THAT'S GOT...

(narrator)
THE FUTURE!

WRITTEN ALL OVER IT --
TOFU.

IT MAY NOT BE A GIANT LEAP
FOR MANKIND,

BUT IT SURE IS
GOOD EATS.

(narrator)
LET'S MEET TOFU'S PARENT,
THE SOYBEAN --

THE MOST NUTRITIOUS
AND EASILY DIGESTED
OF THE BEAN FAMILY.

AND WITH THE POSSIBLE
EXCEPTION OF PLANKTON,
IT IS THE WORLD'S MOST...

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, OKAY...
THAT'S ENOUGH.

IT'S A HALF-HOUR SHOW.

NOW IT'S TRUE, THIS LITTLE
OIL SEED DOES LEND ITSELF

TO ALMOST AS MANY
APPLICATIONS AS MAIZE,

THE ONLY CROP THAT
OUT-ACRES IT IN THE U.S.

AND YET, AMERICANS
ONLY EAT THREE PERCENT

OF THEIR SOY PRODUCT,
AND THAT'S JUST NOT RIGHT.

NOW AS FAR AS OUR HERO
TOFU GOES,

IT ALL BEGINS WITH DRIED,
SHELLED SOYBEANS...

WHICH ARE SOAKED OVERNIGHT
IN WATER.

THE NEXT DAY...

(narrator)
FOLLOWING A RITUAL
AS OLD AS THE HAN DYNASTY..

PSHEW...
THE BEANS ARE BOILED, CRUSHED,

AND THEN SEPARATED
INTO A SOLID CALLED OKARA,

AND SOY MILK, OR EXTRACT.

NOW VARIOUS COAGULANTS,
SUCH AS CALCIUM SULFATE,

WHICH IS A VERY PURE FORM
OF GYPSUM --

THE SAME STUFF
THAT'S IN SHEETROCK --

(narrator interrupting)
THE MIRACLE BUILDING
MATERIAL OF TOMORROW!

ARE ADDED TO FURTHER
SEPARATE THE MILK

INTO CURDS AND WHEY,
MUCH LIKE IN CHEESE MAKING.
IN FACT...

(narrator interrupting)
IN FACT, THE SOYBEAN

IS OFTEN CALLED
THE COW OF CHINA.

IT'S TRUE, OKAY,
SO THE SOY MILK IS
THEN POURED INTO MOLDS,

WHERE THE CARBOHYDRATE-RICH WHEY
IS ALLOWED TO DRAIN OFF.

NOW WHEN THE TOFU SETS,

WE FIND OURSELVES
AT A CULINARY CROSSROADS.

NOW IF IT'S CUT AS IS,
WITHOUT PRESSING,

A FINE PROTEIN NETWORK
IS FORMED,

TRAPPING LIQUID IN A CREAMY,
SOFT, BUT RELATIVELY
UN-POROUS, BLOCK.

NOW THE JELL-O LIKE TEXTURE
AND CLEAN, SOFT FLAVOR

OF THIS SILKEN-STYLE TOFU
GOES OVER BIG IN JAPAN,

WHERE IT'S A FAVORITE
SUMMERTIME DESSERT.

NOW IF THE TOFU
IS PRESSED IMMEDIATELY
FOLLOWING COAGULATION,

THE WAY THAT
CHEDDAR CHEESE IS,

WATER IS FORCED OUT
OF THE COMPACTED CURD,

LEAVING A NETWORK
OF TINY OPENINGS.

NOW SINCE IT CONTAINS
LESS MOISTURE,

THIS FIRM-STYLE TOFU HAS
A MUCH HIGHER NUTRIENT CONTENT

THAN SAY, SILKEN TOFU.

NOW ALTHOUGH THE DIFFERENCES
IN FLAVOR ARE VERY SUBTLE,

THE DIFFERENCES IN TEXTURE
GREATLY EFFECT

THE WAY THAT THAT TOFU
FEELS IN THE MOUTH

OR REACTS
TO OUTSIDE FLAVORS.

MORE ON THAT SHORTLY.

NOW IF YOU DON'T HAVE
A TOFU MASTER HANGIN'
AROUND YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD,

DO NOT DESPAIR --
THE FUTURE IS HERE.

(narrator)
THE MEGAMART OF THE FUTURE

IS A CONVENIENT
AND EXOTIC WORLD BAZAAR

OF SIGHTS AND FLAVORS.

(Alton)
THE GRAND OLD '90s

WITNESSED A HIGH-SPEED,
HEAD-ON CULINARY COLLISION
BETWEEN...

TRADITIONAL ASIAN CUISINE AND
TRADITIONAL HEALTH STORE FOODS.

AS A RESULT, JUST ABOUT
EVERY MEGAMART IN THE COUNTRY

NOW HAS A SOY, OR SOYA,
FOOD SECTION

WHERE YOU CAN PICK UP
SUCH DELIGHTS AS...

OH, SOY CHIPS, SOY MILK,
SOY MARGARINE, SOY CHEESE,

TOFU PUPS,
AND OF COURSE, TOFU --

BOTH REGULAR TOFU
AND SILKEN TOFU.

BUT OF COURSE, THE CHOICES
DO NOT END THERE.

TAKE, FOR INSTANCE,
REGULAR TOFU.

IT ALMOST ALWAYS COMES
IN TWO VARIETIES,

SOFT AND FIRM,

THE MAIN DIFFERENCE HERE
BEING THE AMOUNT OF MOISTURE

THAT WAS SQUEEZED OUT
OF THE CURDS PRE-PACKAGING.

(sailing music)

("danger" music)

(sailing music)

("danger" music)

(attacking noises)

UH, THE POINT IS THAT,
UMMM...

WHERE SILKEN TOFU IS A LOT
LIKE A SLAB OF JELL-O,

REGULAR, OR CHINESE,
TOFU IS A LOT LIKE A...

A SPONGE.

YOU SEE, EVEN IF YOU WERE TO
LOOK AT IT WITH A MICROSCOPE,

THE PROTEIN MATRIX
OF REGULAR TOFU WOULD
LOOK JUST LIKE THIS,

AND IT ALSO SHARES SOME OTHER
SPONGY CHARACTERISTICS.

FOR ONE THING, IT'LL ABSORB
WHATEVER LIQUID THAT
IT'S SITTING IN.

AND THIS IS HOW WE'RE
GONNA TAKE ADVANTAGE

OF A VERY, VERY OLD
ITALIAN WORD,

WHICH MEANS
A DUNK IN THE SEA,

OR MARINADE.

OF COURSE, BEFORE
WE CAN MARINATE IT,

WE'VE GOT TO WRING IT OUT.

NOW I'M GONNA GO STOMP
ALL OVER TOKYO.

OF COURSE, THE WORD MARINADE
AND THE WORD BRINE

SHARE THE SAME
ETYMOLOGICAL ROOTS,

BUT THERE IS A BIG
DIFFERENCE IN PRACTICE.

YOU SEE, A BRINE REALLY JUST
REFERS TO A SALTY LIQUID,

BUT A MARINADE
ALWAYS INCLUDES ACID,

EITHER A CITRUS JUICE,
OR VINEGAR OR WINE,

SOMETHING LIKE THAT,
IN ORDER TO TENDERIZE

THE PROTEINS
IN TOUGH CUTS OF MEAT.

BUT HERE'S THE THING.

TOFU'S PROTEINS ARE
ALREADY COAGULATED,

THAT IS, COOKED,
SO TENDERIZING IS
NOT REALLY AN ISSUE.

HOWEVER, FLAVOR INJECTION IS.

OF COURSE, IF WE'RE GONNA
CONSIDER THIS A SPONGE,

WE'VE GOTTA
WRING IT OUT GOOD

BEFORE WE CAN EXPECT IT
TO SOAK UP ANYTHING, RIGHT?

WE COULD KINDA SQUEEZE IT
AS ONE WHOLE BLOCK,

BUT IT WOULD TAKE LONGER,

SO I LIKE TO CUT IT
INTO PORTIONS.

I'M GONNA FRY THIS UP
IN FOURS, SO...

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR.

NOW WE SOMETHING TO SOAK UP
WHAT COMES OUT OF IT.

OTHERWISE, IT'S JUST GONNA KINDA
SIT THERE IN ITS OWN JUICE.

YOU COULD USE A TEA TOWEL,
OR A DISHTOWEL, OR...

WELL, THAT'S PROBABLY
A LITTLE FUZZY.

I LIKE TO USE PAPER TOWEL.

THIS STUFF'S REALLY
PRETTY DARNED ABSORBENT.

SO JUST LAY IT OUT
TWO AND TWO.

GIVE IT A LITTLE ROOM, YOU
DO NOT WANT THEM TOUCHING.

FOLD IT OVER
IN BOTH DIRECTIONS,

SO IT'S GOT PLENTY
OF ROOM TO SOAK.

AND THEN IT WOULD TO HELP
TO WEIGH THIS DOWN
WITH SOMETHING,

SO THAT WE CAN REALLY
GIVE IT A GOOD SQUEEZE.

AND FOR THAT, I LIKE JUST
AN ORDINARY SHEET PAN --

BAKING SHEET, COOKIE SHEET,
CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL.

BUT THAT'S
PRETTY DARNED LIGHT.

HEY, IT'S A PIECE
OF ALUMINUM, SO WE
NEED SOME WEIGHT.

AND NOTHING IS BETTER,
OF COURSE,

THAN A 28-OUNCE CAN
OF TOMATOES,

WHICH I USE FOR WEIGHT
AS MUCH AS I COOK WITH THEM.

SO DOWN FOR ONE HOUR.

NOW AS FOR THE MARINADE,
ASIAN FLAVORS ARE THE TRADITION,

WHICH, AS FAR AS
I'M CONCERNED,

IS A DARNED GOOD REASON
NOT TO USE THEM.

IN FACT, MY VERY FAVORITE
IS WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE

IN EVEN PROPORTION
WITH SHERRY WINE VINEGAR.

NOW BELIEVE IT OR NOT,
A $10 BOTTLE
OF SHERRY WINE VINEGAR

WILL JUST ABOUT
MAKE YOU FORGET

ABOUT THAT $100 BOTTLE
OF BALSAMIC VINEGAR.

OKAY, MAYBE NOT
FORGET ABOUT IT,

BUT YOU GET THE POINT.

WE ONLY NEED ABOUT
TWO TABLESPOONS OF EACH...

THERE WE GO.

AND THE OTHER THING
THAT TOFU LIKES,

SINCE IT IS JUST A LITTLE
ON THE BLAND SIDE,

IS SOME HEAT.

SO GIVE IT A FEW GOOD DASHES
OF YOUR FAVORITE PEPPER SAUCE.

THERE YOU GO.

NOW ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS WAIT AN HOUR.

WELL, IT'S BEEN AN HOUR,
AND NOW OUR SLABS

NOT ONLY POSSESS HIGH
SERVICE-TO-MASS RATIOS,

BUT POWERFUL THIRSTS,

SO A SHORT SOAK IN OUR
MARINADE WILL BE SUFFICIENT.

AS YOU CAN SEE, THE PAPER TOWEL
IS PRETTY DARNED WET.

JUST KIND OF TEAR IT
RIGHT OFF OF THERE,

AND MOVE THIS DIRECTLY
TO THE MARINADE.

NOW IF THIS WAS
A PIECE OF MEAT,

WE'D BE TALKING
ABOUT HOURS.

BUT AGAIN, THIS IS GONNA BE
A VERY SHORT TIME

SINCE THESE LITTLE GUYS ARE
GONNA SOAK THAT UP FAST.

SO 15 MINUTES ON THIS SIDE,

AND THEN 15 MINUTES
ON THE OTHER SIDE,

AND THAT WILL BE IT.

NO NEED TO REFRIGERATE.

ASIDE FROM SUBTLE DIFFERENCES
IN FLAVOR AND TEXTURE,

THE BIGGEST THING
THAT SEPARATES SILKEN TOFU

FROM ITS COUSIN,
REGULAR TOFU, IS THIS.

(narrator)
THE AMAZING
ASEPTIC CONTAINER

KEEPS PERISHABLES
FRESH FOR MONTHS!

NO REFRIGERATION NEEDED!
HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU.

YOU SEE, THE HOT SOY MILK
AND THE COAGULANT

ARE POURED IN
AND THE CARTON IS SEALED,

BEFORE THE TOFU
HAS A CHANCE TO SET.

NOW SINCE IT CAN'T BE
PRESSED AFTER THE FACT,

REGULAR TOFU IS NOT AVAILABLE
IN THIS PACKAGING.

STUNNING VERSATILITY AND
A THREE-MONTH SHELF LIFE

MAKES THIS A PANTRY MUST.

BUT BEFORE WE CAN SHOW OFF
ITS FULL POTENTIAL,

WE NEED TO VISIT A FRIEND.

(narrator)
TODAY'S BLENDERS ARE CHOCK-FULL
OF FORWARD-THINKING DESIGN.

W, FILL IN THE BLANK.

LUSTROUS SALAD DRESSINGS,
RICH SMOOTHIES,
SILKY PIE FILLINGS...

BLENDS.
WHAT'S IN THE COOLER?
OH, NOTHING...
AHEM.

YOU KNOW, THERE SURE ARE
A LOT TO CHOOSE FROM.

ANY CRITERIA?
WELL, DESPITE THE TREND
TOWARD MULTI-TASKING,

ALL YOU SHOULD
REALLY ASK FOR
IN A GOOD BLENDER

IS LIQUEFACTION
AND AERATION.

THE REST IS JUST
COUNTER CANDY.

OH WELL, THAT MEANS
MAXIMUM FOOD-BLADE CONTACT,

AND HIGH RPMs.

DON'T FOOD PROCESSORS
DO THE SAME THING?

IF THEY COULD,
BARTENDERS

AND SODA JERKS
WOULD BE USING THEM.

BESIDES, EVER TRIED
TO PUREE HOT SOUP

IN A FOOD PROCESSOR?
YEAH, IT'S UGLY.

NOT TO MENTION, PAINFUL.
SO ANY SUGGESTIONS?

LOOK FOR A MODEL WITH
A TAPERED CANISTER...

(narrator)
TO PROMOTE FOOD-BLADE CONTACT.

WIDE RANGE OF SPEEDS...
(narrator)
FOR THE ULTIMATE
IN TEXTURE CONTROL.

SIMPLE, WELL-PLACED
CONTROLS...

(narrator)
FOR EASE OF USE
AND SNAPPY CLEANUP.

AND A WIDE FOOTPRINT.
(narrator)
FOR SAFE,
INCIDENT-FREE OPERATION.

WHO IS THAT?

(Alton)
OH, IT'S JUST
A NARRATOR.

ALL THESE FUTURE-PRODUCT SHOWS
HAVE 'EM, IT'S CODE.

WELL, I DON'T LIKE HIM.
BYE.

WHEW.

ALTHOUGH I'M NOT ABOUT
TO ADVOCATE

THAT YOU REPLACE
YOUR THANKSGIVING TURKEY

WITH A BIG HUNK OF TOFU,

THERE ARE CERTAINLY
SOME CIRCUMSTANCES

IN WHICH TOFU
CAN SWITCH HIT

FOR SOME PRETTY MAJOR
CULINARY PLAYERS.

FOR INSTANCE, SINCE IT'S SMOOTH
AND CONTAINS EMULSIFIERS,

SILKEN TOFU,
WHEN PROPERLY PULVERIZED,

IS A PERFECTLY
ACCEPTABLE REPLACEMENT

FOR THE RAW EGGS
IN CAESAR SALAD DRESSING.

AND UNLIKE THE
TRADITIONAL VERSION,

WHICH IS BEST BUILT
IN A BOWL,

THIS ONE JUST SCREAMS,
"BLENDER."

YOU THINK W WOULD MIND US...
EH, OF COURSE NOT.

NOW FIRST, TWO OUNCES
OF CUBED PARMESAN CHEESE.

YOU DON'T THINK THIS
CAN BE DONE IN A BLENDER?

WELL, ACTUALLY, A BLENDER
IS BETTER AT THIS

THAN EVEN A FOOD PROCESSOR.

THE SECRET, WHEN YOU'RE CHOPPING
UP ANYTHING THAT'S BIG,

WHETHER IT BE CHEESE OR ICE,

IS TO START ON THE LOWEST
SETTING THAT YOU'VE GOT.

THERE WE GO.

NOW AS IT SLOWLY GETS
CHOPPED INTO PIECES,

YOU'LL NOTICE THAT IT'S
GONNA START SETTLING

INTO THE BOTTOM
OF THE BLENDER.

THAT'S WHEN YOU CAN
TURN UP THE SPEED.

JUST LET 'EM TAKE THEIR
TIME, THEY'LL GET THERE.

GO FOR TWO CLOVES OF GARLIC,

AND SEND 'EM
RIGHT DOWN THE CHUTE.

THIS IS A GREAT FEATURE.

THERE WE GO.

NOW ONCE THAT IS
ALL MIXED TOGETHER,

KILL THE BLENDER.

WELL, TURN IT OFF,
YOU GET MY POINT.

NOW WE GO WITH TWO TABLESPOONS
OF DIJON MUSTARD.

SCRAPE THAT RIGHT
INTO THE BOTTOM.

1/2 TABLESPOON EACH
OF WHITE WINE VINEGAR

AND WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE.

THAT IS A TEASPOON
AND A HALF OF EACH.

THERE YOU GO.

A PINCH OF KOSHER SALT,

AND A PINCH
OF FRESHLY GROUND
BLACK PEPPER.

THERE WE GO.

NOW COMES THE TOFU --
YOU'RE GONNA NEED

ABOUT HALF A BLOCK,
OR ONE CUP OF TOFU.

AND THAT GOES,
WITH WHATEVER LIQUID
HAPPENS TO SEEP OUT OF IT.

THEN WORK THIS
UNTIL IT IS SMOOTH.

NOW AS SOON IT'S SMOOTH,

ADD TWO TABLESPOONS
OF EXTRA-VIRGIN OLIVE OIL.

THIS IS A TIME
TO BREAK OUT THE GOOD STUFF.

AND POUR IT RIGHT DOWN
THE MIDDLE OF THE VORTEX --

THE LITTLE FUNNEL, THE LITTLE
TORNADO THING THAT'S FORMED.

NOW WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
IS, BASICALLY,

SALAD DRESSING CONSISTENCY.

IT MAY TAKE A LITTLE LESS
OR A LITTLE MORE

THAN TWO TABLESPOONS.

THERE WE GO, THAT'S IT.

NOW YOU'VE GOT
A CAESAR SALAD DRESSING

THAT WILL KEEP PERFECTLY
WELL IN THE REFRIGERATOR

FOR UP TO TWO WEEKS.

OF COURSE, ONE OF THE
TRUE TESTS OF A BLENDER IS,

HOW DOES IT HANDLE
HIGH VISCOSITY SUBSTANCES?

WELL, I CAN'T THINK
OF ANYTHING

MORE HIGH VISCOSITY
THAN PIE FILLING.

SO LET'S SEE HOW IT HANDLES
ONE BLOCK --

THAT'S TWO CUPS --
OF SILKEN TOFU,

COMBINED WITH TWO CUPS
OF CHOCOLATE CHIPS,

MELTED ART-OF-DARKNESS
STYLE,

ALONG WITH 1/3 CUP
OF COFFEE LIQUEUR,

AND A TEASPOON OF VANILLA.

NOW SINCE THE PROTEIN
INSIDE TOFU

TENDS TO DEADEN
THE SWEET FLAVOR

OF MIXTURES LIKE THIS,
WE'RE GONNA ADD

A TABLESPOON OF HONEY.

THERE WE GO.

NOW WE'LL SEE WHAT
THIS MACHINE IS MADE OF.

I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICE THAT
IT DOESN'T HAVE NUMBERS,

BUT IT DOES HAVE WORDS LIKE,
"MIX," "CHOP," "PUREE"...

"LIQUEFY?"
OH, I LIKE THE SOUND
OF THAT.

NOT BAD.

MMMMM.

NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS POUR THIS INTO A
COOKIE CRUMB CRUST,

REFRIGERATE FOR A COUPLE
OF HOURS,

AND HEY, YOU'VE GOT
A CHOCOLATE PIE

THAT'S ACTUALLY
GOOD FOR YOU.

NEXT UP,
THE BANE OF ALL BLENDERS --

BIG, ICY THINGS.

WELL, THIS PRICEY
LITTLE NUMBER

SEEMS TO COMBINE
RETRO-DECO STYLING

WITH ZEN-SIMPLE CONTROLS.

SEE, OFF...
ON...

(yelling over machine noise)
AND REALLY, REALLY ON.

WOW, AN ENGINE
BY SOPWITH CAMEL.

BUT CAN IT HANDLE
THE TALL, TANGY, TOFU THING?

LET'S SEE.

IT ALL STARTS
WITH ONE SMALL CAN

OF FRUIT COCKTAIL
IN LIGHT SYRUP...

FROZEN.

TO THAT WE ADD ONE TEASPOON
OF INSTANT LEMONADE MIX.

NOW YOU CAN USE
SUGAR-FREE OR SUGAR,

ANY KIND OF DRINK MIX
YOU WANT,

OR EVEN JELL-O,
FOR THAT MATTER.

JUST FOR A LITTLE TANG
AND A LITTLE COLOR.

THEN WE GO WITH SIX OUNCES
OF CRANBERRY JUICE,

AND ONE BLOCK
OF SILKEN TOFU.

NOW WE'LL FIND OUT IF THIS
THING'S ALL JUST LOOKS.

OF COURSE,
HERE'S THE TEST.

DID IT MAKE A SMOOTHIE,
OR DID IT MAKE A CHUNKY?

BEAUTIFUL AND BRAINY.

OF COURSE, THIS LEADS US
TO THE FINAL BLENDER TEST.

AND THAT IS,
EASE OF CLEANUP.

OF COURSE, I THINK MAYBE
WE SHOULD LEAVE THIS ONE
FOR W.

I HAVE TO SAY THAT
THIS LITTLE GUY RIGHT HERE

IS PROBABLY MY FAVORITE.

I LIKE 'EM BOTH.

YOU KNOW, GRILLING, SEARING,
AND SAUTEING

WOULD ALL BE VIABLE OPTIONS
FOR OUR TOFU.

BUT THERE'S ONLY ONE
COOKING METHOD THAT
I CAN THINK OF

THAT WOULD NOT ONLY LOCK IN
THE FLAVOR OF THE MARINADE,

BUT ALSO BRING ON A WHOLE
'NOTHER LAYER OF TEXTURE.

AND THAT IS
PAN-FRYING.

SO HERE'S THE HARDWARE.

A NICE, BIT FAT PILE
OF PAPER TOWELS,

TWO CONTAINERS
SUITABLE FOR DREDGING,

ONE LARGE SKILLET,
PREFERABLY NONSTICK --

OVER MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT --
ONE SET OF SPRING-LOADED TONGS,

AND A FORK.

SOFTWARE --
ENOUGH CANOLA OIL

TO COVER THE BOTTOM OF THE PAN
BY ABOUT 1/8-INCH,

TWO EGGS, AND 1/2 CUP
OF ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR.

OH, AND KOSHER SALT?
WE DON'T NEED ANY.

THERE'S PLENTY OF SALT
ALREADY IN THE MARINADE.

SPEAKING OF THE MARINADE,
WE NEED TO GET SOME OF IT

OFF OF THE TOFU BEFORE WE CAN
ACTUALLY DO ANYTHING ELSE.

SO TAKE IT OUT
AND JUST LAY IT

RIGHT ON MORE
PAPER TOWELS,

JUST TO GET THE EXCESS
OFF OF THERE.

ONCE YOU'VE GOT THAT DONE,

YOU CAN TURN YOUR ATTENTION
TO THE EGGS.

THE EGG IS GONNA ACT
AS A BASIC BATTER,

TO COAT AND PROTECT THE TOFU

FROM INVASION BY HOT OIL.

BUT UNFORTUNATELY,
THE EGG IS WET,

AND EVEN THOUGH WE'VE
GIVEN THIS A GOOD BLOT,

THE TOFU IS STILL WET,
SO THEY'RE NOT GONNA STICK
TO ONE ANOTHER.

IT'S KINDA LIKE A BATTER --
THE PERSON, NOT THE THING --

THAT PUTS DIRT ON THEIR HANDS
TO GET A GOOD GRIP ON THE BAT.

WE'VE GOTTA DO
THE SAME THING HERE.

THAT'S WHERE THE FLOUR
COMES IN.

BY GETTING A SMALL LAYER
OF FLOUR ON THE TOFU,

THE EGG IS GONNA BE ABLE
TO GET A GRIP.

SKIP THIS STEP,
AND THE EGG WILL NOT HANG.

BUT THERE'S A LITTLE BIT
OF DANGER HERE,

WHICH IS THAT YOU WANT
THE LAYER OF FLOUR

TO BE AS THIN AS POSSIBLE.

I MEAN, IF YOU GET A BIG,
OL' HUNKIN' LAYER OF FLOUR

ON THERE LIKE THIS,
THE EGG WILL STICK HERE,

AND THEN JUST PEEL OFF,
LEAVING RAW FLOUR,

WHICH IS NOT GOOD EATS.

SO YOU WANT THE LAYER
TO BE AS THIN AS POSSIBLE.

SO ONCE YOU'VE DREDGED,
KNOCK OFF EVERYTHING.

JUST KINDA WIGGLE IT AROUND,
GET OFF AS MUCH AS YOU CAN,

BEFORE SLIDING IT
INTO THE EGG.

JUST FLIP THESE OVER,
AND YOU CAN SEE THE EGG.

A VERY, VERY THIN LAYER
OF EGG

IS PERFECTLY STUCK
TO THE SIDE OF THESE.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT
YOU WANNA SEE.

THERE, NOW WE'RE GONNA
SLIDE THESE GENTLY

INTO THE HOT OIL.

DO NOT SPLASH THEM IN,

OR YOU WILL GET
A NASTY BURN.

JUST LAY THEM RIGHT IN
LIKE THAT.

WE'RE GONNA LET THESE GO
FOR ABOUT TWO MINUTES,

OR UNTIL THEY ARE, AS THEY SAY
IN THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS,

"G.B.D." --
GOLDEN-BROWN DELICIOUS,"

AND THAT'LL TAKE
ABOUT TWO MINUTES.

BE VERY, VERY GENTLE HERE.

(Alton)
TWO MINUTES LATER,

AND THE TOFU
IS READY TO ROLL.

JUST GRAB 'EM
WITH YOUR TONGS,
AND GENTLY FLIP.

DON'T USE A SPATULA
FOR THIS.

YOU'LL JUST FLOP THEM OVER,
AND MAKE A MESS,

AND BURN ANYONE STANDING
WITHIN FIVE FEET

OF THE COOKTOP.

(narrator)
THERE IT IS, FRIENDS,

THE FOOD OF THE FUTURE
TODAY.

DOES IT TASTE AS DELICIOUS
AS IT LOOKS?

(narrator)
YOU BET IT DOES!
BUT IS IT HEALTHY?

ABSOLUTELY.

TOFU IS RICH IN ANTIOXIDANTS
TO HELP PREVENT
SEVERAL CANCERS,

SUCH AS COLON, BREAST,
PROSTATE, AND UTERINE.

IT'S ALSO RICH
IN PHYTOCHEMICALS,

TO HELP WITH HOT FLASHES
AND PMS.

EVEN THE FDA AGREES THAT
AS LITTLE AS AN OUNCE A DAY

CAN HELP LOWER YOUR RISK
OF HEART DISEASE.

(narrator)
SO IT'S DELICIOUS
AND HEALTHY.

BUT IS IT ECONOMICAL?

POUND FOR POUND,
THE CHEAPEST FORM

OF COMPLETE PROTEIN AROUND.

(narrator)
WHILE WE'RE TALKING TO THE
EXPERTS, WHAT ABOUT...

(Alton)
YOU KNOW, I THINK
THAT'S PROBABLY ENOUGH

OF THE EXPERTS, OKAY?
THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

(heavy breathing)

(Alton)
THE SOY GALAXY

MAY NOT BE
THE FINAL FRONTIER,

BUT IT IS READY AND WILLING
TO FEED US

INTO THE NEW CENTURY.

AS FOR TOFU,
WELL, JUST THINK OF IT

AS TOMORROW'S WHITE MEAT
TODAY.

NUTRITIOUS, VERSATILE...

GOOD EATS,
THROUGH AND THROUGH.

(sighs)

NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I'VE GOT A SHUTTLE TO CATCH.