Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 2, Episode 9 - Fry Hard - full transcript

(Alton Brown)
"THOUGH WE HAVE TRIED AND
TRIED,

"SEX...

"IS NOT AS GOOD AS SWEET CORN,"

OR SO FAMED LAKE WOEBEGONER
GARRISON KEELER ONCE WROTE.

AS FAR AS I KNOW, NO ONE
HAS MADE SUCH CLAIMS

ON BEHALF OF OTHER
CORN VARIETIES.

I SUSPECT MANY A YOUNG AMERICAN

IS THRILLED TO THE
SIGHT OF JIFFY POP

SWELLING ENTHUSIASTICALLY
ON THE STOVE.

BESIDES BEING THE NEW WORLD'S
GREATEST CONTRIBUTION

TO NUTRITION, CORN
AS WE KNOW IT



HAS THE DISTINCTION OF BEING ONE
OF MAN'S EARLIEST INVENTIONS.

LIKE THE WHEEL, CORN
HAS ROLLED ITSELF

DOWN THE COUNTLESS
AVENUES OF OUR LIVES,

LENDING ITS EAR TO
EVERYTHING FROM PLASTICS
TO PHARMACEUTICALS.

BUT CREATIONS CAN TURN
ON THEIR MASTERS,

AND CORN HAS CAUSED ITS
SHARE OF PAIN AND SUFFERING.

BUT IN THE LABORATORY
THAT IS THE KITCHEN,

CORN IS OUR FRIEND.

AND IF WE'LL JUST TAKE
THE TIME TO LISTEN TO IT,

TO UNDERSTAND IT,
LEARN WHAT IT NEEDS,

WELL, I MIGHT NOT GO AS
FAR AS GARRISON KEELER,

BUT I'LL ADMIT,

CORN...

IS DARN GOOD EATS.



CORN, YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED,

DOESN'T VERY CLOSELY RESEMBLE
ITS GRASSIER COUSINS--

RYE, WHEAT OR BARLEY.

THAT'S BECAUSE ONE DAY
BACK IN MAIZEOLITHIC--

HEH-HEH--

MEXICO--A FARMER,
LOOKING AT SOME GRASSES,

SPOTTED AN ANOMALY--A MUTATION.

NOW I'D LOVE TO GO INTO DETAIL,

BUT AS I HAVE TOLD YOU
TIME AND TIME AGAIN,

I AM NOT A NUTRITIONAL
ANTHROPOLOGIST.

BUT YOU, OF COURSE, ARE.

YES, I STILL AM.
GREAT... SO TELL ME,

HOW IS IT THAT
MAN CREATED CORN?

WELL, FIRST OF ALL
LET'S GET THIS STRAIGHT.

IT'S NOT CORN
ANYMORE, IT'S MAIZE.

CORN IS A LINGUISTIC
ARTIFACT.

IT'S AN OLD ENGLISH
WORD THAT MEANS A
LITTLE, HARD THING,

LIKE YOU GET A
CORN ON YOUR FOOT,

YOU HAVE AN ACORN
DROP FROM THE TREE.

SO THEY BASICALLY DIDN'T
KNOW WHAT IS WAS,

SO THEY CALLED IT CORN?
YEAH, ANY GRAIN...

ANY GENERIC GRAIN CAME
TO BE CALLED CORN.
OKAY, THEN.

SO HOW IS IT THAT
MAN CREATED MAIZE?

IT SEEMS THAT THERE WERE
TWO KINDS OF GRASSES

THAT GREW SIDE BY SIDE
IN CENTRAL AMERICA,

AND THEY HAD A GRAIN
THAT THE INDIANS
WOULD JUST GATHER.

THEY FOUND THAT IF THEY
GREW NEXT TO EACH OTHER,

THEY GREW BETTER.

WELL, THEN ABOUT
3,500 YEARS AGO,

THEY MAGICALLY,
SPONTANEOUSLY CROSS-
POLLINATED

AND MADE A WHOLE
NEW PLANT,

AND THAT'S WHAT WE
CALL MAIZE TODAY.

AND THAT NEW PLANT
TRANSFORMED THEIR
CULTURE AND SOCIETY.

IN FACT, THE AZTECS
WENT SO FAR

AS THAT THEY WOULD
ACTUALLY COMMIT
HUMAN SACRIFICE

TO THE CORN GOD.
WOW.

I GUESS THE AZTECS MUST
HAVE BEEN DISAPPOINTED
IN THE CORN

WHEN THE CORN RAN BACK
TO EUROPE WITH CORTéS.
YEAH.

MAYBE THEY WERE,
BUT YOU KNOW,

IN A WAY THE NATIVE
AMERICANS GOT THE
LAST LAUGH.

HOW'S THAT?
WELL, BECAUSE THE
SPANIARDS TOOK BACK
THE MATERIAL,

BUT NOT THE TECHNOLOGY
TO MAKE IT HEALTHFUL.

THE WAY THE NATIVE
AMERICAN STYLE OF MAKING
IT WAS WITH ALKALI,

THAT IT WOULD CHANGE
THE CELLULAR STRUCTURE

AND THE AMINO ACIDS

AND MAKE IT A MORE
HEALTHFUL PRODUCT.

AH, SO THE EUROPEANS
DIDN'T DO THAT.
NO.

THEY JUST COOKED IT,
MADE IT INTO MUSH,

AND MADE IT INTO BREAD
AND ALL KINDS OF THINGS,

AND THEN THEY STARTED
GETTING THIS NUTRITIONAL
DEFICIENCY DISEASE

THAT BECAME KNOWN
AS PELLAGRA.

WHAT ARE THE
SYMPTOMS OF THAT?
WELL, FIRST YOU GET
THIS ROUGH SKIN,

AND THEN YOU
GET DIARRHEA,

AND THEN THAT GOES
ON TO DEMENTIA, AND
THEN DEATH.

YOU KNOW, DEBBIE, YOU'RE
ALWAYS FULL OF THESE...

THESE CHEERY LITTLE,
FUN FACTS.

I REALLY APPRECIATE
THAT ABOUT YOU.
I TRY.

BY THE WAY, WHY IS IT
THAT WHENEVER I MEET YOU

YOU'RE WALKING
AROUND IN GRASS?

OH, RIGHT NOW I'M
JUST LOOKING FOR
A BASEBALL GAME.

WELL, YOU CAN FIND THAT
ONE AT BLOCKBUSTER, I THINK.

SO HERE'S THE REAL DEAL.

SEE, AS MAN AND CORN
DEVELOPED TOGETHER,

MAN KEPT SEEING THESE
RECESSIVE TRAITS COME OUT,

AND THEY WOULD
CROSSBREED THOSE.

EVENTUALLY THEY ACTUALLY
GOT CORN TO GROW

WITH THIS HUSK ON IT.

IT MAKES IT COMPLETELY
IMPOSSIBLE

FOR THE CORN TO
GERMINATE ITSELF,

SO CORN IS COMPLETELY
DEPENDANT ON MAN.

BUT IT DOES REPAY
MAN IN THE KITCHEN.

HAVING BEEN UNDER DEVELOPMENT
FOR A GOOD 10,000 YEARS,

THERE ARE A LOT OF
CORN VARIETIES.

HOW ELSE COULD THE GOOD FOLKS OF
MITCHELL, SOUTH DAKOTA, DO THIS?

SEE THAT? THAT'S ALL CORN.

CORN PALACES... EVERYBODY
THERE'S GOT ONE.

WELL, UNFAZED BY THIS VAST
VARIETY, WE HERE AT "GOOD EATS"

HAVE MANAGED TO SHOEHORN
THE ENTIRE CORN UNIVERSE

INTO THREE VARIETIES.

POPCORN, FIELD OR DENT CORN

AND SWEET CORN,

WHICH DESPITE MAKING UP
A MEASLY 1.66 PERCENT

OF THE AMERICAN CORN CROP,

IS THE CORN WE THINK OF
WHEN WE THINK OF CORN.

NOW FREAKISHLY MUTATED
THOUGH IT IS,

CORNS ARE STILL GRASSES.

AND JUST LIKE GRAINS OF
WHEAT OR GRAINS OF RICE,

EACH CORN KERNEL IS
AN INDIVIDUAL SEED,

COMPOSED OF A SEED
COAT, AN EMBRYO,

AND A KIND OF BOTANICAL FUEL
TANK CALLED AN ENDOSPERM.

IT'S THE COMPOSITION
OF THE ENDOSPERM

WHICH DECIDES THE
CULINARY DISPOSITION

OF EVERY VARIETY OF CORN.

NOW TAKE SWEET CORN,
FOR INSTANCE.

THE ENDOSPERM IS MOSTLY
MADE UP OF SUGAR.

BUT WHEN THE EAR IS PICKED,

THE EAR SENSES THAT SOMETHING
IS SERIOUSLY WRONG,

AND IT DEPLOYS THIS ENZYME,

WHICH STARTS RAPIDLY
CONVERTING THE SUGAR

TO A MORE EASILY
METABOLIZED STARCH.

HOW FAST DOES THIS HAPPEN?

WELL, LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY, I
KNOW CORN CONNOISSEURS OUT THERE

WHO ACTUALLY PUT A POT
OF WATER ON TO BOIL

BEFORE THEY GO DOWN TO
THEIR MARKET FOR THE CORN.

IN OTHER WORDS, ONCE AGAIN
WE'RE FACING ONE OF THESE.

MODERN AGRONOMISTS HAVE BOUGHT
CORN LOVERS A LITTLE BIT OF TIME

BY DEVELOPING HYBRID VARIETIES

THAT COMPENSATE FOR THE SUGAR
LOST BETWEEN FIELD AND MARKET

BY ADDING TWO TO THREE TIMES
MORE SUGAR TO BEGIN WITH.

TODAY'S MARKET
BINS ARE DOMINATED

BY SUCH "SUPERSWEET" VARIETIES

WITH SEDUCTIVE MONIKERS
LIKE SUMMER SWEET,

STARBRIGHT AND THE BI-
COLORED HONEY AND PEARLS.

YOU CAN ALSO BUY
YOURSELF SOME TIME

BY ONLY CHOOSING
REALLY FRESH CORN.

WHEN YOU PICK UP AN EAR, TAKE
A REALLY GOOD LOOK AT IT.

IS IT PLUMP, IS THE
HUSK BRIGHT AND MOIST,

IS THE CUT END BRIGHT AND MOIST?

THERE SHOULDN'T BE ANY
DARK SPLOTCHES THERE.

LOOK AT THE TASSEL--
IMPORTANT THINGS, TASSELS--

IT SHOULD BE SLIGHTLY
STICKY AND BROWN,

NOT MATTED AND BLACK.

A BLACK TASSEL SIGNIFIES
A MATURE EAR,

AND THAT MEANS MORE
STARCH THAN SUGAR.

NOW IF IT PASSES INSPECTION
ON THE OUTSIDE,

TAKE A LOOK ON THE INSIDE.

KERNELS SHOULD BE TIGHT, ROWED
ALL THE WAY UP TO THE TOP,

AND WHEN PIERCED...

SHOULD EXPLODE WITH
MILKY GOODNESS.

YOU CAN GET MAYBE ONE...
TWO DAYS, TOPS, OUT OF
YOUR FRESH CORN

IF YOU WRAP IT
TIGHTLY IN PLASTIC

AND PUT IT IN THE COLDEST
PART OF YOUR REFRIGERATOR.

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR
MORE TIME, THOUGH,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE A CUE

FROM FOOD SCIENTISTS OVER AT
THE UNIVERSITY OF MARYLAND,

WHO'VE ACTUALLY FIGURED
OUT THAT YOU CAN HOLD CORN

AT ITS PEAK OF FLAVOR
FOR UP TO TWO WEEKS

IF YOU SHUCK IT AND GIVE IT
A 15-MINUTE ICE-WATER BATH

LACED WITH ONE DROP
OF LEMON JUICE

AND TWO DROPS,
BELIEVE IT OR NOT,

OF CLOROX BLEACH.

TURNS OUT THAT THE
BLEACH CITRUS MICKEY

LOWERS THE WATER'S pH
JUST ENOUGH

TO INHIBIT BOTH MICROBIAL
AND ENZYMATIC ACTION

IN THE CORN.

POST BATH, JUST SEAL
IT UP IN A FREEZER BAG

AND PUT IT RIGHT BACK IN THE
COLDEST PART OF YOUR FRIDGE.

NOW WHEN IN SEASON,

YOUNG, FRESH CORN
SCARCELY NEEDS COOKING.

BUT SINCE BUTTER DOESN'T
REALLY MELT ON COLD EARS,

A QUICK DIP IN BOILING WATER--

SAY A MINUTE--IS APPROPRIATE.

NOW WHEN IT COMES TO
COOKING SHUCK-ON OR -OFF,

IT'S REALLY A MATTER OF TASTE.

PERSONALLY, I APPRECIATE THE--

EXCUSE THE WINESPEAK--

GRASSY NOTES THAT
THE SHUCK LENDS.

NOW IF YOUR CORN'S BEEN STORED
FOR MORE THAN A DAY OR TWO,

OR IF YOU SUSPECT THE
FARM IS MORE THAN, SAY,

TWO ZIP CODES DOWN THE ROAD,

ADD TWO TABLESPOONS OF SUGAR
TO THE WATER, BUT NO SALT.

OR YOU CAN SKIP THE WATER
ALTOGETHER AND...

ROAST...

A 350 DEGREE OVEN
THIRTY MINUTES IN

WILL NOT ONLY COOK YOUR
KERNELS TO PERFECTION,

IT WILL ACTUALLY ENHANCE
THEIR SWEETNESS.

WHEN THE HUSKS START TO BROWN

AND THE EARS YIELD
TO GENTLE PRESSURE,

YOU'RE READY TO SHUCK,
BUTTER, SALT, EAT, REPEAT.

IF THERE WERE A SECRET
TO CREAMED CORN...

OF COURSE, I'M NOT SAYING
THAT THERE IS ONE,

BUT IF THERE WERE,

IT WOULD BE REMOVING AS MUCH OF
THE SWEET ENDOSPERM AS POSSIBLE

WHILE LEAVING A MAJORITY
OF THE FIBROUS,

AND MIGHT I MENTION
COMPLETELY INDIGESTIBLE,

SEED COAT BEHIND.

NOW TO THIS END, YOU
DO NOT NEED TO EMPLOY

BIZARRE SPECIALIZED ENGINES
OF CORN DESTRUCTION.

I NEVER HAVE BEEN ABLE TO...

WELL, THEY JUST SCARE ME.

ALL YOU'VE REALLY GOT TO
HAVE IS A GOOD SHARP KNIFE,

A PAPER BOWL

AND A WIDE, FLAT
METAL BOWL OR PAN

TO CATCH ALL THE ACTION.

THE STRATEGY HERE IS TO
NOT THINK ABOUT CUTTING
THE CORN OFF,

RATHER SHAVING IT OFF.

THE KNIFE STAYS ALMOST
DEAD PARALLEL TO THE COB.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT THE KNIFE,

BECAUSE THE PAPER BOWL IS
THERE TO PREVENT ANY DINGS.

BY THE WAY, BEFORE YOU
EVEN START THIS BUSINESS,

GO AHEAD AND CHOP HALF AN ONION

AND SWEAT IT IN ONE
TABLESPOON OF BUTTER,

ALONG WITH TWO
PINCHES OF SALT--

KOSHER SALT--

AND ONE SPRIG OF ROSEMARY,

BRUISED... THERE.

NOW REMEMBER, SWEATING
IS A LOW-HEAT METHOD.

IF YOU START TO SEE ANY COLOR
OR BROWN FORMING ON THE ONION,

TURN DOWN THE HEAT.

ONCE YOU'VE GIVEN EIGHT EARS
OF CORN A GOOD, CLOSE SHAVE,

IT IS TIME TO MILK.

JUST TURN YOUR KNIFE
OVER--USE THE SPINE--

TO SCRAPE OUT THE REST
OF THAT ENDOSPERM.

IF YOU'LL ANGLE THE KNIFE KIND
OF DOWN AND AWAY FROM YOU,

IT'LL ACT LIKE A MUD FLAP

AND KEEP YOU FROM TAKING THIS
STUFF DIRECTLY IN THE FACE.

JUST TURN AND SCRAPE.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT GOING
ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM.

I USUALLY DO THIS IN TWO
STAGES.

WHEN YOU GET DOWN TO THE
BOTTOM, JUST PICK UP THE COB

AND SCRAPE IT AGAINST THE
KNIFE.

I'M ACTUALLY NOT
MOVING THE KNIFE,

JUST SCRAPING THE COB AGAINST
IT

TO GET THOSE BOTTOM KERNELS.

NOW THAT IS SOME OF
WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

THAT'S THE ENDOSPERM,
NICE AND MILKY AND SOFT.

WHEN YOU SEE THIS KIND
OF HONEYCOMB LOOK,

THAT MEANS THAT YOU'VE
DEFINITELY GOTTEN EVERYTHING
THAT'S WORTH GETTING,

BUT DON'T GET RID OF THIS, IT'S
GOT ALL KINDS OF PURPOSES.

YOU COULD, FOR INSTANCE...

WELL, IF THE MacARTHUR THING'S
NOT EXACTLY YOUR STYLE,

YOU CAN STILL SMOKE IT.

JUST SAVE UP THESE CORN BONES,
KEEP THEM IN THE FREEZER,

WHIP THEM OUT THE
NEXT TIME YOU GRILL.

JUST DROP ONE RIGHT
ONTO YOUR CHARCOAL.

IT BEATS WOOD CHIPS
BY A LONG SHOT.

ONCE THE ONIONS
ARE NICE AND SOFT

AND THE ROSEMARY IS FRAGRANT,

IT'S TIME TO ADD OUR CORN.

MAKE SURE, WHEN YOU DO,
YOU GET EVERY DROP OF IT.

TURN THE HEAT UP
TO MEDIUM HIGH...

NOT ALL THE WAY TO
HIGH, JUST MEDIUM.

A TABLESPOON OF SUGAR WILL
HELP INCREASE THE OVERALL...

CORNINESS OF THE DISH--I DON'T
KNOW ANY OTHER WAY TO PUT IT.

IF YOU FIND THAT YOUR CORN
IS PIGMENTLY CHALLENGED--

AND YOU WANT IT A LITTLE
MORE YELLOW--THEN...

REACH FOR THE TURMERIC.

IT'S NOT GONNA ADD MUCH
IN THE WAY OF FLAVOR,

BUT IT WILL ADD A
GREAT DEAL OF COLOR.

IT'LL ONLY TAKE ABOUT
1/4 OF A TEASPOON.

JUST STIR THIS CONSTANTLY
FOR ABOUT TWO MINUTES,

OR UNTIL THE JUICES START
TO REDUCE AND TIGHTEN UP.

THE ACTUAL TIME IS GONNA
COMPLETELY DEPEND ON...

ON HOW JUICY YOUR CORN
WAS TO BEGIN WITH,

SO JUST STAY WITH
IT AND WATCH IT.

YOU'LL NOTICE THAT IT PULLS
AWAY NICELY, COMPLETELY DRY,

WHEN YOU STIR IT OFF THE PAN.

THAT LOOKS PRETTY GOOD.

SO LEAVE THE HEAT WHERE IT IS.

WE'RE GONNA GO AHEAD
AND ADD SOMETHING

THAT'S GONNA HELP TO
THICKEN THIS UP LATER ON--

TWO TABLESPOONS OF
YELLOW CORNMEAL.

JUST SPRINKLE THAT
RIGHT ON THE TOP.

NOW THIS DOES NOT GELATINIZE
THE WAY THAT FLOUR DOES,

BUT IT IS EXTREMELY ABSORBENT.

SO AS IT SITS AND COOKS, IT'S
ACTUALLY GONNA START DRINKING UP

A LOT OF THE MOISTURE THAT
WE'RE GONNA ADD TO THIS PAN.

WHISK IS BEST FOR THIS, BY
THE WAY--JUST WORK THAT IN.

NOW WHEN IT COMES
TO ADDING LIQUID,

I'VE GOTTA TELL YOU,
BACK BEFORE THE DAYS

WHEN I STARTED SERIOUSLY EYEING

THE SANSABELT PANTS RACK,

I USED TO PUT LOTS
OF CREAM IN HERE,

SOMETIMES A QUART FOR ONE BATCH.

BUT I FOUND THAT IF YOU USE
THIS CORNMEAL TO THICKEN,

KIND OF AS A SLURRY, YOU CAN
GET BY WITH A LOT LESS CREAM.

BUT IT'S CREAMED CORN, YOU'VE
GOT TO HAVE SOME, RIGHT?

SO ONE CUP OF HEAVY CREAM.

OH, COME ON... DON'T
GET ALL HUFFY ABOUT IT.

IF YOU'RE SO WORRIED
ABOUT YOUR FAT INTAKE,

START DRIVING PAST SOME OF
THOSE DRIVE-THROUGHS, HMM.

THERE... NOW JUST WORK
THAT IN WITH THE WHISK,

AND COOK OVER SLIGHTLY
LOWER HEAT--

PROBABLY MEDIUM--FOR
TWO TO THREE MINUTES,

OR UNTIL THIS REACHES THE
CONSISTENCY THAT YOU'RE
LOOKING FOR.

IT SHOULD BE ABLE TO
STAND UP ON A PLATE.

THEN JUST FISH OUT THE
ROSEMARY,

LIKE THAT,

AND GRIND ON THE BLACK PEPPER.

CORNBREAD IS EVERYTHING
I LOVE ABOUT AMERICA--

INDEPENDENT, DETERMINED,
UNAPOLOGETIC.

CORNBREAD HAS NO AGENDAS,

KNOWS NO RACE, COLOR OR CREED,

AND IT STARTS WITH A
GROUND MEAL OF DENT CORN,

WHICH MAKES UP OVER 80 PERCENT
OF AMERICA'S CORN CROP.

NAMED FOR THE DEPRESSION
THAT FORMS IN ITS CROWN

WHEN THE KERNEL IS DRIED,

DENT CORN IS DIFFERENT
FROM SWEET CORN

IN THAT IT HAS TWO
DIFFERENT ENDOSPERMS...

A RATHER SMALL, PROTEIN-LADEN,

HORNY ENDOSPERM--I
DIDN'T MAKE THAT UP--

AND A LARGE, STARCHIER,
SOFT ENDOSPERM.

IT'S THIS SUBSTANCE THAT
MAKES DENT CORN PERFECT

FOR OVER 3,000 APPLICATIONS,

FROM EVERY FOOD STUFF IMAGINABLE

TO FIREWORKS, PAPER, INK,
ANTIBIOTICS, PACKING MATERIALS,

TRASH BAGS, CEILING TILES,
TIRES, ROAD DE-ICER, RAYON,

AND OF COURSE, CORNBREAD.

WHEN IT COMES TO CORNBREAD,

I DON'T CARE WHAT SIDE OF THE
MASON-DIXON LINE YOU HAIL FROM,

YOU NEED CAST IRON.

SKILLET THAT IS... BLACK
GOLD, TEN INCHES WIDE

AND 425 DEGREES HOT.

SO GET THIS IN HERE

BEFORE YOU SET UP
THE REST OF THE GEAR.

CONSTRUCTION BEGINS WITH
TWO CUPS OF CORNMEAL.

NOW I DON'T MIND MEASURING
THIS STUFF BY VOLUME,

BECAUSE UNLIKE FLOUR, CORNMEAL
DOESN'T REALLY COMPRESS.

OH, I PREFER YELLOW CORN,

'CAUSE I THINK IT JUST
MAKES A TASTIER MEAL,

BUT YOU CAN USE WHITE OR
EVEN BLUE IF YOU WANT.

WHAT REALLY COUNTS IS
THE NATURE OF THE GRIND.

NOW IN SOME CORN CULTURES,
SAY SOUTH AFRICA,

COARSE MEALS, PRODUCED BY
DEVICES THAT LOOK LIKE THIS,

ARE THE NORM.

BUT HERE IN AMERICA, WITH
THE EXCEPTION OF GRITS

AND IN THE DEEP SOUTH, HOMINY,

FINE CORNMEALS DOMINATE.

NOW MASS-PRODUCED VERSIONS

GROUND BY HIGH-SPEED
STEEL ROLLERS

ARE EXTREMELY
UNIFORM IN TEXTURE.

AND SINCE THEY'RE DEGERMINATED
IN THE PROCESS,

THEY'VE GOT A LOT OF SHELF LIFE,

IF NOT A WHOLE LOT OF FLAVOR.

NOW I GO FOR MEALS GROUND
BY SMALL, INDEPENDENT MILLS.

BESIDES CONTAINING SOME, IF NOT
ALL, OF THE FLAVORFUL GERM--

THAT EMBRYO WE WERE
TALKING ABOUT EARLIER--

THESE MEALS ARE
USUALLY STONE GROUND,

WHICH RESULTS IN A VERY
UNIQUE TEXTURE AND FLAVOR.

BUT SINCE THEY DO
CONTAIN SOME FAT,

THESE MEALS NEED TO BE
KEPT AIRTIGHT AND COLD--

AS IN THE FREEZER.

BACK IN THE BOWL, WE'VE
GOT OUR CORNMEAL,

TO WHICH WE WILL ADD ONE
TEASPOON OF KOSHER SALT

AND A TABLESPOON OF SUGAR

AND TWO TEASPOONS
OF BAKING POWDER.

WE'RE ACTUALLY GONNA USE TWO
DIFFERENT LEAVENINGS HERE,

THE BAKING POWDER--ONE, TWO--

AND A 1/4 TEASPOON,

ACTUALLY A 1/2 TEASPOON,
OF BAKING SODA.

NOW AS YOU PROBABLY REMEMBER
FROM OUR BISCUIT SHOW,

"THE DOUGH ALSO RISES,"

YOU'VE GOT TO HAVE A BALANCE
OF ACID AND ALKALINE

IF YOU'RE GONNA HAVE REALLY
GREAT CO2 PRODUCTION,

AND THAT'S WHAT
DOES THE LEAVENING.

SO IN THIS CASE, WE'VE GOT
A BALANCED ACID AND ALKALINE
COMBINATION,

BUT WE'VE THROWN IN
EXTRA ALKALINE.

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

WELL, BECAUSE THERE'S
ACID IN BUTTERMILK,

AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE A CUP
OF BUTTERMILK IN THE WET
INGREDIENTS,

AND THAT'S GONNA BALANCE THINGS.

OH, BE SURE TO
MIX THIS STUFF UP.

DRY LEAVENINGS DON'T LIKE
TO BE LEFT IN CLUMPS.

SO A CUP GOES IN
ALONG WITH TWO EGGS

AND EIGHT OUNCES--
THAT'S ONE CUP--

OF OUR CREAMED CORN.

COOL, HUH?

NOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO
MAKE YOUR CREAMED CORN.

YOU CAN USE STUFF JUST FROM THE
CAN, FROM THE GROCERY STORE.

THAT'S OKAY.

BUT OBVIOUSLY, THE FLAVOR'S
NOT GONNA BE THE SAME.

SO WHISK THAT TOGETHER, JUST
UNTIL THE EGGS DISAPPEAR...

THERE YOU GO.

AND THEN DUMP ALL OF THE
DRY RIGHT INTO THE WET.

NOW I KNOW, THAT'S DIFFERENT
FROM THE USUAL PROCEDURE,

BUT IN THIS CASE IT'S OKAY,

BECAUSE FOR ONE THING,
CORNMEAL IS NOT LIKE FLOUR.

IT WON'T CLUMP UP ON
CONTACT WITH MOISTURE.

THE OTHER REASON IS THAT THIS
WILL KEEP YOU FROM OVERMIXING.

AND IF YOU OVERMIX
CORNBREAD BATTER,

YOU END UP WITH SOMETHING
FLAT LIKE A JOHNNYCAKE,

AND JOHNNYCAKES ARE
DIFFERENT FROM CORNBREAD.

SO STIR AND THEN STOP
AND TAKE A LOOK.

YOU MIGHT NEED TO ADD
MORE MOISTURE TO THIS,

DEPENDING ON THE MOISTURE
CONTENT OF YOUR CORNMEAL

OR OF THE CORN THAT YOU STARTED
WITH IN THE FIRST PLACE.

YOU DON'T WANT IT TO
LOOK LIKE CAKE BATTER,

BUT YOU DON'T WANT A
BLOCK OF YELLOW, EITHER.

THIS LOOKS LIKE A LOOSE MORTAR,

AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

SUPPLY YOUR CORNBREAD
WITH SOME SPINE

BY GETTING THE PAN RIPPING HOT,

AND THEN POURING IN ABOUT
TWO TABLESPOONS OF CANOLA.

SWIRL THAT AROUND
JUST ENOUGH TO COAT,

THEN POUR THE BATTER RIGHT IN.

DO THIS RIGHT HERE ON
THE RACK OF THE OVEN,

BECAUSE YOU DO NOT WANT TO
LET THIS PAN COOL DOWN.

DON'T STAND AROUND AND
TALK TO THE OVEN, EITHER,

OR PEOPLE MIGHT GET
THE WRONG IDEA.

ANYWAY, GET EVERYTHING
IN THERE THAT YOU CAN

AND GET IT BACK IN.

NOW THE WELDING GLOVES, BY
THE WAY, ARE NOT REQUIRED,

THEY'RE JUST HERE
TO PROVE A POINT.

THIS HANDLE IS HOT, OKAY?

OF COURSE, IF YOU'VE GOT WELDING
GLOVES HANGING AROUND THE HOUSE,

WHY NOT?

NOW SOME PEOPLE LIKE TO
USE THE OLD TOOTHPICK TEST

TO CHECK FOR DONENESS,

BUT I HAVE BETTER LUCK
WITH WHAT I KIND OF CALL

THE PILLOW TEST--
THAT'S A GOOD NAME.

JUST PUT YOUR HAND
ON TOP--IT'S HOT,

BUT YOU'LL BE QUICK--
AND JUST PUSH DOWN.

IF IT BOUNCES RIGHT BACK UP,

THEN IT'S DEFINITELY FINISHED.

YOU KNOW THE BEST THING ABOUT
THESE MULTI-PURPOSE LIDS

IS THEY REALLY ARE
MULTI-PURPOSE.

BEHOLD...

NOT ONLY IS THERE A
HANDLE ON THE BOTTOM

TO KEEP YOUR HAND UNSCATHED,

BUT THE RIDGES HELP PREVENT
YOUR PRECIOUS BAKED GOODS

FROM ENDING UP DOWN
IN THE DOG ZONE.

PLATE, AND JUST REPEAT.

AND THERE YOU GO,
PERFECT CORNBREAD.

WELL, I GUESS THAT ABOUT...

OH, GEEZ... I ALMOST
FORGOT THE POPCORN!

WHAT'S THAT POP ABOUT, ANYWAY?

WELL, IF YOU SURROUND A SMALL,
SOFT, STARCHY ENDOSPERM

WITH A LARGE AMOUNT OF HIGH
PROTEIN OR HORNY ENDOSPERM--

NOW I TOLD YOU, I
DIDN'T MAKE THAT UP!--

WRAP IT ALL IN
A SUPERHARD OUTER COAT,

AND YOU'VE BASICALLY GOT
A BOMB READY TO GO OFF,

BUT ONLY WHEN COOKED.

WHEN HEATED, THE MOISTURE BOILS,

TURNS TO STEAM, BLOWS THE
WHOLE THING TO SMITHEREENS.

THE SUDDEN DECREASE
IN INTERNAL PRESSURE

ALLOWS THE STARCH
INSIDE TO EXPAND

SEVERAL HUNDRED TIMES IN
VOLUME AND SOLIDIFY,

KIND OF LIKE THIS STUFF,

ONLY IT TASTES
GOOD--THIS DOESN'T.

POPCORN'S FREAKY ARCHITECTURE

MAKES IT PERFECT FODDER
FOR THE MICROWAVE.

1/4 OF A CUP OF QUALITY POPCORN

INTO A BROWN PAPER BAG
WITH A LITTLE OIL,

A PINCH OF KOSHER SALT, SHAKE
ON SOME HOT STUFF IF YOU LIKE,

AND SEAL UP THE BAG WITH TWO
STAPLES TO KEEP THE STEAM IN.

INTO THE MICROWAVE ON HIGH
FOR TWO TO THREE MINUTES,

OR UNTIL THERE IS FIVE
SECONDS BETWEEN THE POPS.

WHETHER YOU AGREE THAT
CORN OUTRANKS OTHER...

EARTHLY PLEASURES OR
NOT, YOU CAN'T ARGUE...

CORN IS UNIQUELY AND
ABSOLUTELY AMERICAN,

JUST LIKE CLINT EASTWOOD

OR THE ROCKY MOUNTAINS.

THE WAY I SEE IT, ITALY
RAN OFF WITH OUR TOMATOES,

IRELAND STOLE OUR
SPUDS, BUT THESE...

THESE ARE OURS.

NOT TO MENTION,
SERIOUSLY GOOD EATS.

WOW, LOOK AT THE SNAKE!
WHAT...

(laughing)