Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 2, Episode 7 - True Brew - full transcript

GOOD MORNING.

WHERE ARE YOU GUYS
ALL HEADED OFF TO?

AH, GOING FOR THAT FIRST
CUP OF MORNING JOE, HUH?

I KNOW IT'S NONE
OF MY BUSINESS,

BUT ISN'T THAT THE SORT
OF THING YOU OUGHT TO
BE GETTING AT HOME?

HOME... COFFEE...
BADDDDDDDD...

BAD?

OH, YEAH? WELL,
TRY THIS ON FOR SIZE.

YOU KNOW, THERE
USED TO BE A TIME

THAT FOLKS WERE PROUD
OF THEIR HOME BREW.

I MEAN, HECK, BACK
BEFORE THERE WERE
PREGROUND PACKETS



AND FREEZE-DRIED
CRYSTALS,

SHOOT, PEOPLE
NOT ONLY GROUND,

THEY ROASTED
THEIR OWN COFFEE.

TRY THAT.

HEY, THIS IS GOOD.

DARN TOOTIN' IT IS.

THE STUFF I MAKE
NEVER TASTES LIKE THIS.

SEE UNFORTUNATELY,
MOST OF US HAVE HANDED
THE BREWING OVER

TO THOSE BIG
GADGET-LADEN
COUNTER SCULPTURES

THAT ARE REALLY
MORE ABOUT LOOKS AND
CONVENIENCE THAN FLAVOR.

NOW YOU GOT TO
THINK OF IT THIS WAY...

BREWING IS COOKING.

I MEAN, WOULD YOU
HAND YOUR STEAK OVER
TO SOME MACHINE

TO COOK FOR YOU?
HECK, NO!



I'M TELLING YOU,
FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS,

IT'S TIME WE TOOK COFFEE
BACK INTO OUR OWN HANDS.

BUT HOW?
I'LL TELL YOU HOW.

FIRST, WE'VE GOT
TO REALLY UNDERSTAND
OUR INGREDIENTS,

WE'VE GOT TO MASTER
SOME BASIC TECHNIQUES

AND WE'VE GOT TO
GET HOLD OF SOME
RELIABLE TOOLS.

DO YOU REALLY THINK WE
COULD DO IT, STRANGER?

FRIEND, HUMANITY
DEMANDS IT.

BESIDES, I DON'T
KNOW ABOUT THOSE
LITTLE BUNNIES THERE,

OR THOSE LITTLE
LAMBSIES YOU GOT ON,

BUT THESE LITTLE
PIGGIES WERE NOT MADE

FOR BEATING
THE MEAN STREETS.

SO ARE YOU WITH ME?
YOU BETCHA!

THAT'S WHAT I
WANTED TO HEAR.

ALL RIGHT, WE'VE GOT A
LOT OF GROUNDS TO COVER IN
NOT A WHOLE LOT OF TIME,

SO STRAP IN TIGHT
AND PAY ATTENTION.

AND BELIEVE ME, THE
NEXT CUP YOU BREW

WILL BE SERIOUSLY...
GOOD EATS?

I COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT
BETTER MYSELF, PILGRIM.

WHO WAS THAT GUY?

... AND WHERE DID HE
GET THOSE SLIPPERS?

THE COFFEE BEAN IS
ACTUALLY THE PIT

OF A CHERRY-LIKE
FRUIT THAT GROWS,

BOTANICALLY SPEAKING, ON ONE OF
TWO VARIETIES OF COFFEE TREE.

NOW ROBUSTO TREES ARE
HEARTY AND HIGH YIELDING,

BUT THEIR BEANS RENDER
A BREW THAT'S ALL POWER,

MEANING CAFFEINE,
AND NO FLAVOR.

THEY'RE KIND OF THE MALT LIQUORS
OF THE HOT-BEVERAGE WORLD.

ON THE OTHER HAND, ARABICA
TREES, LIKE THIS ONE,

ARE SHY, FINICKY,
DELICATE MOUNTAIN DWELLERS

THAT PRODUCE A MEASLY TWO
POUNDS OF BEANS A YEAR.

BUT OH, THE BEANS...

NOT ONLY DO ARABICA BEANS

DELIVER A SUBLIME
GESTALT OF FLAVOR,

ACIDITY, BODY AND AROMA,

THEY ACTUALLY HAVE
THE ABILITY TO CAPTURE

THE ESSENCE OF WHERE
THEY WERE GROWN.

LIKE GREAT WINE GRAPES,

ARABICA BEANS DELIVER TERROIR,

WHICH MEANS THAT NOT ONLY
ARE BEANS FROM THE THREE

MAJOR WORLD GROWING AREAS
DIFFERENT FROM EACH OTHER,

BUT WITHIN EACH
OF THESE AREAS,

THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF
DIFFERENT SUBTLE VARIATIONS.

NOW AS MUCH AS I DON'T CARE
FOR GROSS GENERALIZATIONS,

I DO HAVE A LITTLE ANALOGY
THAT I'VE BEEN WORKING ON

TO KIND OF SUM UP THIS
WHOLE WORLD COFFEE THING.

SO HERE I GO... HAWAII
AND CENTRAL AMERICA,

BRIGHT, SNAPPY POP MUSIC...

OKAY... YOU WITH ME?

EAST AFRICA AND
YEMEN, BROODING,

BUT STILL CATCHY...
BEETHOVEN ON A GOOD DAY.

THEN YOU GOT SUMATRA
AND INDONESIA.

THE COFFEES DOWN THERE
ARE JUST PLAIN FUNK.

NO WAY AROUND IT.

OH, JEEZ! I GOT TO GO.

AT THIS POINT, THE BEANS
ARE REFERRED TO AS GREEN.

THEY DON'T LOOK A
WHOLE LOT LIKE COFFEE.

AND TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH,
IF YOU WERE TO BREW UP A CUP,

IT WOULDN'T TASTE
MUCH LIKE COFFEE.

IT WOULD TASTE
MORE LIKE, WELL,

YARD-CLIPPING
SOUP, PROBABLY.

NOW IT REQUIRES THE TALENTS OF
MASTER ROASTERS AT THIS POINT

TO FULFILL THE FLAVOR
POTENTIAL OF THE BEAN

THROUGH THE JUDICIOUS
APPLICATION OF HEAT,
WHICH IS THE NEXT STEP.

BECAUSE ONCE THEY'RE SUCKED
UP THROUGH THIS HOPPER,

THESE BEANS WILL HEAD
INTO THIS GIANT, OVERSIZED,

GAS-POWERED CLOTHES DRYER,
I GUESS YOU'D SAY,

WHICH IS BEING OPERATED
BY A MASTER ROASTER...

IN THIS CASE,
DR. DON WILSON.

HI, ALTON,
HOW ARE YOU?
HOW ARE YOU
DOING, DON?

GOOD, THANKS.
THANKS FOR
HAVING ME IN.

YOU'RE WELCOME.
I GOT A QUESTION
FOR YOU.

WHAT EXACTLY IS IT
THAT ROASTING DOES?

WELL, WHAT WE'RE GONNA
DO IS BRING THE BEANS
UP THROUGH TEMPERATURE.

AND WE'RE LOOKING FOR
COLOR, CONSISTENCY,

AND MOST IMPORTANT,
WE'RE GONNA LOOK
FOR CHEMICAL CHANGE

IN THE BEANS
TO BRING OUT THE
AROMAS, THE FLAVORS.

IT'S A PROCESS
CALLED PYROLYSIS.

THE FIRST CRACK IS WHERE
THE WATER COMES TO
BOILING TEMPERATURE,

AND IT POPS AND STARTS
TO TURN TO STEAM.
KIND OF LIKE POPCORN?

YEAH, AND IT CRACKS THE
BEAN POPS THE CHAFF OFF.

WILL WE ACTUALLY
HEAR THAT... DO
YOU HEAR THE POP?
YOU'LL HEAR IT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK IS KIND
OF THE OPTIMUM BALANCE

BETWEEN THE FLAVOR
OF THE BEAN

AND THE FLAVOR
OF THE ROAST?

IT'S A QUESTION OF
PERSONAL PREFERENCE.

BUT AS PEOPLE LEARN
MORE ABOUT COFFEE,

THEY'LL LEARN
THAT DIFFERENT
LEVELS OF ROAST

SUIT PARTICULAR
COFFEES BETTER.

THAT'S THE FIRST
CRACK... YOU'RE
HEARING IT NOW.

AND WE'RE GONNA
TAKE FREQUENT
SAMPLES TO DETERMINE

WHEN IT'S ABSOLUTELY
AT ITS BEST.

WE'RE GONNA SEE A LITTLE
BIT OF OIL APPEARING

JUST IN THE CENTER OF
THE SURFACE OF THE BEAN.

NOW THAT'S STARTING
TO LOOK LIKE A SERIOUSLY
COOKED COFFEE BEAN.

I GOT SECONDS NOW
TO GET THIS RIGHT,

SO I'M GOING ON A
COMBINATION OF EYE,
NOSE AND EAR.

OKAY, WE'RE
READY TO DROP.

(Alton)
SINCE DON WAS AFTER
A BRIGHT ACIDITY AND
REGIONAL CHARACTERISTIC,

HE STOPPED THESE BEANS
AT A LIGHT CITY ROAST.

A FEW MINUTES DOWN THE LINE
WOULD HAVE BEEN A FULL CITY,

USUALLY CONSIDERED THE PERFECT
BALANCE OF FLAVOR AND BODY.

A LITTLE FURTHER
THAN THAT...

A FRENCH OF VIENNA ROAST
TRADES FLAVOR FOR BODY.

THEN LATER, AN ITALIAN
ROAST, WHICH AT POINT...

WELL, IT'S
PRACTICALLY CHARCOAL,

AND NO REAL FLAVOR OF THE
BEAN REMAINS, JUST ROAST.

THE FURTHER YOU ROAST
COFFEE, THE LOWER IN
CAFFEINE IT BECOMES.

SO AN ESPRESSO ROAST
HAS ACTUALLY GOT LESS
CAFFEINE PER OUNCE

THAN A LIGHT CITY.
WELL, DON,

THANK YOU VERY
MUCH FOR THE TOUR.
YOU'RE WELCOME.

I APPRECIATE YOUR
WORK... BEAUTIFUL JOB.

WELL, NOW THAT THEY'VE
REACHED THEIR PEAK OF FLAVOR,

EACH ONE OF
THESE TINY BEANS

IS ALSO A TICKING
TIME BOMB.

THAT'S BECAUSE UNLESS
THEY'RE STORED IN AIRTIGHT
CONTAINERS IMMEDIATELY,

THEY START GOING STALE.

THE PROBLEM IS,
IS THESE BEANS,

AT LEAST FOR THE
NEXT COUPLE OF DAYS,

WILL BE GIVING OFF
PRODIGIOUS AMOUNTS
OF CARBON DIOXIDE--

SO MUCH SO, IN FACT,
THAT THEY'LL BASICALLY
BLOW THEIR WAY--

APPROPRIATELY--OUT OF ANY
CONTAINER YOU SEAL THEM IN.

BUT THERE IS A WAY TO
DEFUSE THE SITUATION.

A COFFEEHOUSE THAT
ROASTS ON PREMISES

CAN AVOID
EXPLOSIVE SITUATIONS

BY MOVING BEANS STRAIGHT
FROM THE ROASTER TO JARS,

WHICH, WHEN OPENED
ON A REGULAR BASIS,

ALLOW FOR VENTING.

NOW AS LONG AS THE COFFEEHOUSE
ENJOYS SPEEDY TURNOVER,

STALENESS WILL NEVER
HAVE A CHANCE TO HAPPEN.

NOW A GOOD COFFEEHOUSE,
BY THE WAY,

IS A LOT LIKE A
GOOD FISH MARKET--

THE BUSIER IT IS, THE
FRESHER THE PRODUCT IS.

NOW AS FAR AS
GROCERY STORES GO,

WELL, THAT'S A WHOLE
'NOTHER CAN OF BEANS.

IT USED TO BE, BY THE
TIME A COFFEE GASSED OUT

AND WAS SHIPPED
TO A RETAILER,

IT WAS WELL ON ITS
WAY TO STALEDOM.

BUT IN THE 1960s,
AN ITALIAN ENGINEER

CAME UP WITH A WAY
TO KEEP FRESHNESS IN

WHILE GIVING CO2 A WAY OUT--

AN AIRTIGHT BAG WITH A
ONE-WAY VALVE LAMINATED
RIGHT INTO THE SIDE.

JUST FEEL AROUND YOUR BAG...
YOU'LL KNOW IF IT'S THERE.

THUS CONTAINED, BEANS CAN
REMAIN FRESH FOR TWO,

MAYBE THREE MONTHS.

BY THE WAY, WHOLE BEANS
ARE NOT ALWAYS FRESH BEANS.

GIVEN A LITTLE AIR, A
LITTLE TIME, A LITTLE LIGHT,

EVEN THE MOST NOBLE BEANS
WILL BE RENDERED FLAVORLESS.

SO BEWARE OPEN BEAN BINS...
OH, JEEZ, I GOTTA GET MOVIN'.

THESE TWO BAGS MAY LOOK
ALIKE, BUT THEY'RE NOT.

SEE, THIS BAG IS
ACTUALLY SEALED.

THIS BAG IS MERELY CLOSED.

SEE, YOUR FRIENDLY
NEIGHBORHOOD ROASTER

NEVER MEANT FOR YOU TO
KEEP BEANS IN THIS BAG.

HE JUST DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO HAVE TO CARRY 'EM
HOME IN YOUR POCKETS.

THE SEALED BAG,
ON THE OTHER HAND,

IS AN ACCEPTABLE
STORAGE DEVICE.

BUT REMEMBER, ONCE
IT'S BREACHED,

THE TIME-BOMB CLOCK
STARTS TICKING AGAIN.

YOU CAN DEFUSE
THE SITUATION

BY GETTING ALL OF THESE BACK
INTO AN AIRTIGHT ENVIRONMENT.

DO NOT BE FOOLED BY
THESE LITTLE TWIST TIES.

THESE ARE NOT ACCEPTABLE
CONTAINERS ANYMORE.

BUT A CANISTER IS FINE,

AS LONG AS YOU KNOW THAT
THE SEAL IS AIRTIGHT.

NOW AS FOR TEMPERATURES,
FREEZING OR REFRIGERATING

MAY BE POPULAR
WITH COFFEE FANS,

BUT NOT WITH COFFEE BEANS.

SEE, EACH TIME YOU FETCH
'EM FROM THE CHILL,

MOISTURE CONDENSES ON
THE SURFACE OF THE BEAN,

WHICH ONLY MAKES
THEM DEGRADE FASTER.

NOW AS LONG AS YOU DON'T
STASH THIS NEAR THE OVEN,

ROOM TEMPERATURE
WILL DO JUST FINE.

NOW THAT WE HAVE PROCURED
AND SECURED QUALITY BEANS,

WE ONLY HAVE 97 PERCENT OF
THE COFFEE INGREDIENTS TO GO.

OH, JEEZ! I GOT
A BOAT TO CATCH.

COFFEE IS MOSTLY WATER.

NOT ONLY DOES H2O
WORK AS A SOLVENT,

LIBERATING FLAVOR
COMPOUNDS FROM THE BEAN,

BUT IT BLENDS ITS OWN
FLAVOR TO THE EQUATION.

NOW MOST OF US RECEIVE OUR TAP
WATER FROM MUNICIPAL SUPPLIES

PUMPED FROM RIVERS AND
LAKES INTO HUGE BASINS

WHERE VARIOUS SUSPENDED
SOLIDS ARE REMOVED

VIA SEDENTATION
AND COAGULATION.

NOW VARIOUS DISINFECTANTS
NEUTRALIZE VARIOUS
PATHOGENIC ORGANISMS,

AND VARIOUS FILTRATION MEDIUMS
CLARIFY MATTERS FURTHER.

NOW BESIDES CHLORINE
AND FLUORIDE,

YOUR AVERAGE TAP WATER
CONTAINS AT LEAST TRACE AMOUNTS

OF OTHER CHEMICALS WHICH
ENSURE ITS WHOLESOMENESS,

WHICH IS NOT TO SAY
IT MAKES IT TASTE GOOD.

LUCKILY, A SIMPLE
CARBON-BASED WATER FILTER

CAN WRESTLE AWAY MOST
OF THE OFFENDING FLAVORS.

IN AREAS THAT HAVE EITHER
EXCESSIVELY HARD, SOFT,

OR SULFURY WATER, YOU SHOULD
PROBABLY GO WITH BOTTLED WATER.

BUT AVOID DISTILLED WATER.

IT'S SO FLAT AND EMPTY
THAT IT REALLY JUST CAN'T

CHEMICALLY GET A
GRIP ON THE GROUNDS.

OH, JEEZ! TIME
TO TALK MYTHOLOGY.

YOU KNOW, BREWING COFFEE
IS A LOT LIKE BLACKJACK...

IT'S A GAMBLE.

BUT JUST LIKE THE GOOD GAMBLER
KNOWS HOW TO PLAY THE ODDS,

THE GOOD BREWER KNOWS
HOW TO PLAY THE ODDS.

FOR INSTANCE, A
GOOD BREWER KNOWS

THAT 30 PERCENT OF
THE BEANS' TOTAL WEIGHT

IS EXTRACTABLE BY WATER.

HE WOULD ALSO
KNOW THAT OF THAT,

TWO-THIRDS TASTES
REALLY GREAT.

HE WOULD ALSO KNOW
THAT THAT LAST THIRD

TASTES REALLY ROTTEN.

SO THE QUESTION IS, HOW
FAR ARE YOU WILLING TO GO?

'CAUSE IF YOU
EXTRACT JUST ENOUGH,

YOU'LL HAVE A
GREAT-TASTING CUP.

BUT IF YOU GO TOO
FAR... OOH, BUSTED.

OH, WELL... HOPEFULLY,
MAKING COFFEE

WON'T EVER BE AS
PAINFUL AS THIS.

AND IT WON'T BE... AS
LONG AS YOU CAN CONTROL

FOUR SPECIFIC FUNCTIONS.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE ABLE TO CONTROL
THE TEMPERATURE OF THE WATER,

THE SIZE OF THE GRIND,

THE PROPORTION OF
COFFEE TO WATER,

AND FINALLY, THE BREW TIME.

IF YOU'VE GOT THOSE DOWN,

EVERY SINGLE CUP IS
GONNA BE A WINNER.

WELL, BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME,
SIR... I APPRECIATE THAT.

OH, JEEZ! I GOTTA GO.

HERE AT "GOOD EATS,"
WE APPRECIATE THE FACT

THAT MOST HUMAN BEINGS
BREW THEIR COFFEE

WHILE IN A QUASI-
SOMNAMBULISTIC STATE.

THAT'S WHY WE'VE DESIGNED
A BREWING SYSTEM

OF SUCH CUNNING
DESIGN AS TO RENDER

THE HIGHEST AMOUNT OF FLAVOR
FOR THE SMALLEST AMOUNT

OF BOTH FINANCIAL
AND MENTAL INVESTMENT.

NOW JUST TO PROVE
HOW EASY IT IS

TO MAKE TRULY,
TRULY GREAT COFFEE,

WE'VE INVITED OVER
MY SLEEPYHEADED,

LATE-NIGHT-WORKING
BUTCHER NEIGHBOR, CHUCK,

TO GIVE IT A TEST SPIN.

MR. BROWN,
IS THAT YOU?
RIGHT OVER HERE,
CHUCK, OVER HERE.

NICE OF YOU TO
JOIN US, BUDDY.

I WAS HAVING
THE NICEST DREAM.

YEAH, ABOUT A NICE, STEAMIN'
MUG OF MOCHA JAVA.

THAT'S RIGHT,
MOLTEN LAVA.
POOR KID, HELP'S
ON THE WAY.

LOOK WHAT YOU'RE GONNA
BE TESTING FOR US.

A MANUAL-DRIP BREWER

FEATURING A
THERMAL CARAFE.
GERBIL GIRAFFE...

AND THAT'S NOT ALL.

WE'VE GOT AN ELECTRIC
COFFEE GRINDER HERE,

AND AN ELECTRIC
KETTLE.

AND NOW I KNOW
YOU WANT TO ASK ME,

WHY ALL THE
SEPARATE COMPONENTS?

DESPERATE DONUTS...

THESE COMPONENTS
WILL GIVE YOU CONTROL,

AND FLAVOR IS
ALL ABOUT CONTROL.

NOW CHUCK, IN
YOUR OPINION, WHAT
WOULD YOU SAY

ARE THE TOP COFFEE-
MAKING MISTAKES?
POPPY RAKING
WITH SNAKES?

MOST OF US DON'T
PUT NEAR ENOUGH
COFFEE IN OUR COFFEE.

LOOK, THE IDEAL RATIO
IS TWO TABLESPOONS OF
FRESHLY GROUND BEANS

TO SIX OUNCES OF WATER.

NOW WE'RE GONNA
MAKE FOUR PERFECT
CUPS OF COFFEE.

AND THAT MEANS WE'RE
GONNA NEED 24 OUNCES
OF WATER, RIGHT,

WHICH I'VE
ALREADY LOADED UP
INTO THIS KETTLE.

SO IF YOU'LL JUST PLUG
THAT IN FOR US, WE'LL
GET GOING, OKAY?

A LOT OF PEOPLE THINK THEY
DON'T LIKE STRONG COFFEE,

WHEN IN REALITY, WHAT THEY
DON'T LIKE IS BITTER COFFEE.

NOW LOGICALLY, TO
TAKE CARE OF THIS,

THEY DECIDE TO BREW
WITH FEWER GROUNDS.

THE PROBLEM IS, IS THAT MAKES
THE BITTERNESS EVEN WORSE.

AND HERE'S WHY...

IF THIS FILTER WAS
FULL-UP WITH GROUNDS,

THEN AS THE WATER
WERE MOVING THROUGH IT,

IT WOULD JUST KIND OF EXTRACT
THE RIGHT AMOUNT OF SOLIDS

AS IT WENT THROUGH.

BUT IF IT'S ONLY GOT,
MAYBE, COFFEE UP TO HERE,

THEN YOU'VE GOT
A LOT MORE WATER

CROSSING A SMALLER
AMOUNT OF GROUNDS.

THAT MEANS IT'S GONNA
EXTRACT A LOT MORE FLAVOR,

AND A LOT OF THAT
FLAVOR IS BAD, BITTER...

WE DON'T WANT THAT.

HI... WHAT DO YOU THINK'S
THE BIGGEST FAVOR YOU
COULD DO YOUR BEANS?

FOR FIENDS...
RIGHT,

GRIND YOUR OWN.

I MEAN, YOU WANT TO
OPEN THESE GUYS UP

AND GET THEIR POWER
OUT AS CLOSE TO BREW
TIME AS POSSIBLE.

I MEAN, AFTER ALL, YOU WOULDN'T
BUY A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE

AND THEN ASK THE CASHIER
TO UNCORK IT FOR YOU.

WOULD YOU?

NO, YOU WOULD
NEVER DO THAT.

SAME THING HERE.

NOW THERE ARE A LOT OF
DIFFERENT MACHINES OUT
THERE THAT GRIND COFFEE,

SOME THAT ARE
PROGRAMMABLE--

THEY DO IT FOR
ALL DIFFERENT
KINDS OF DRIPS--

BUT I GOT TO TELL
YOU, THIS LITTLE
$20 BLADE GRINDER

DOES A FINE JOB BY ME.

SO DO ME A FAVOR,
PLUG THIS UP

AND PUSH DOWN THAT BUTTON
FOR 15 SECONDS, OKAY? GOOD.

NOW GRIND TIME, AND
OF COURSE GRIND SIZE,

IS COMPLETELY DEPENDENT
ON THE BREWING METHOD.

NOW A FAST-BREWING
COFFEE, LIKE ESPRESSO,

CAN USE A VERY, VERY
FINE, POWDERY GRIND,

WHERE A LONGER BREWING METHOD,
LIKE SAY FRENCH PRESS,

NEEDS A PRETTY
BIG, CHUNKY GRIND.

NOW I'VE FOUND THAT
FOR DRIP MACHINES,

EITHER MANUAL OR AUTOMATIC,

WORK FINE WITH ABOUT
A 15-SECOND GRIND.

CHUCK, YOU'RE THERE,
YOU'RE THERE.

COME ON BACK... GOOD JOB.

OKAY, THAT'S PERFECT.

NOW THIS IS A
TWO-TABLESPOON MEASURE.

WE'RE GONNA USE ONE
OF THESE FOR EVERY
CUP OF COFFEE.

SO TAKE THIS, AND LET'S
HAVE FOUR SPOONFULS
RIGHT THERE.

NOW IF YOU DON'T
HAVE A COFFEE SCOOP,
JUST MAKE SURE THAT...

THAT'S NOT CEREAL,
CHUCK... COFFEE,
NOT CEREAL.

THERE YOU GO... MAKE
SURE THAT YOU USE
TWO TABLESPOONS

FOR EACH CUP.

YOU GOT THAT.

NOW A LOT OF FOLKS LIKE
TO USE PAPER FILTERS,

AND THEY'RE FINE,

ALTHOUGH, I FIND THAT
THESE GOLD FILTERS,

BESIDES BEING A
LITTLE EASIER ON
THE LOCAL LANDFILL,

ALLOW MORE OF THE
BODY-PRODUCING COMPOUNDS

TO PASS THROUGH
FROM THE COFFEE,
AND I LIKE THAT.

THESE LITTLE GUYS'LL
PAY FOR THEMSELVES
IN ONE YEAR.

YOU KNOW, I THINK
THE WATER'S READY.
I DON'T WANT
TO GO STEADY.

THE KETTLE!

OH, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT...
THIS IS IMPORTANT.

THE IDEAL EXTRACTION
TEMPERATURE

IS BETWEEN
190 AND 205 ,

WHICH IS JUST
OFF THE BOIL.

SO HOLD THAT FOR ABOUT
TEN SECONDS, OKAY.

NOW HERE'S ANOTHER
LITTLE TIP.

SINCE COFFEE GROUNDS
HAVE A TENDENCY TO FLOAT

WHEN YOU POUR
IN THE WATER,

GIVE THE TOP A LITTLE
BIT OF A SPRITZ.

BY PRESATURATING THOSE
GROUNDS, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE

A MUCH CLEANER EXTRACTION,
WHICH IS A GOOD THING.

NOW YOU MAY POUR.

NOW ODDS ARE GOOD HE'S
GONNA HAVE TO FILL THAT
CONE ABOUT THREE TIMES.

AND IT'S PROBABLY GONNA TAKE
A TOTAL OF FOUR MINUTES.

AND THAT IS PERFECT,

BECAUSE THE LAST GREAT
SECRET TO COFFEE BREWING

IS THAT YOU WANT A FOUR-
TO FIVE-MINUTE EXTRACTION.

THAT IS THE WINDOW WHERE
THE FLAVORS WE ARE AFTER

WILL COME OUT.

WANT TO KNOW HOW MANY
SIX-OUNCE SERVINGS YOUR
ELECTRIC MAKER CAN CRANK OUT?

JUST FILL IT FULL OF WATER,
MEASURE HOW MUCH IT HOLDS,

AND DIVIDE BY SIX.

FOUR MINUTES TO BREW, THREE
MINUTES TO HEAT THE WATER.

IF YOU ASK ME, SEVEN MINUTES IS
NOT TOO MUCH OF AN INVESTMENT

FOR A PERFECT POT OF COFFEE.

OF COURSE, THE VERY BEST
THING ABOUT THIS CARAFE

IS THAT WHEN HE WAKES
UP IN A FEW HOURS,

THIS WILL STILL BE HOT.

OH, JEEZ! I GOTTA GO.

(snoring)

IS NOW FRISKIER THAN A
HERD OF ETHIOPIAN GOATS.

HEY, CHUCK, I CAN'T
HELP BUT NOTICE YOU'RE
MOPPING MY FLOOR.

AH... IT'S THE LEAST
I CAN DO, MR. BROWN.
OKAY.

WHAT I WANT TO KNOW
IS WHAT'S GOT HIM
FEELING SO DARN GOOD.

LUCKILY, I'VE GOT A
REGISTERED DIETITIAN
HANGING AROUND THE PLACE

WHO CAN ANSWER THESE
KINDS OF QUESTIONS.

SO WHY IS HE FEELING
SO DARN GOOD?

IT'S THE CAFFEINE...

HE'S REALLY WIRED
FROM THE CAFFEINE.

YEAH, I THINK HE DRANK LIKE
THE WHOLE POT OF THIS THING.

HOW DOES THAT STUFF WORK?

WELL, IT WORKS BECAUSE
IN THE BRAIN,

THE CAFFEINE PREVENTS
ADENOSINE FROM BEING
RELEASED IN THE BRAIN.

AND ADENOSINE IS A
COMPOUND IN OUR BRAIN

THAT HELPS TO
KEEP US CALM.

AND WHEN THAT'S NOT
RELEASED, YOU JUST STAY
HIGH ALL THE TIME.

YOU STAY VERY
ENERGIZED.

NOW I NOTICED HE'S
WORKING VERY QUICKLY.

WOULD YOU SAY THAT
HE'S WORKING BETTER

OR JUST FASTER?
HE'S WORKING FASTER
BUT NOT BETTER,

BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENS
IS WHEN WE'RE SO HIGH
AND UP ALL THE TIME,

WE HAVE THE ILLUSION
OF WORKING BETTER,

BUT THE QUALITY OF
WORK IS VERY POOR.

SO IN OTHER WORDS,
IT MAKES YOU FASTER,

BUT IT DOESN'T
MAKE YOU BETTER.
RIGHT.

SO YOU BETTER CHECK
YOUR FLOOR, BECAUSE IT'S
PROBABLY NOT VERY CLEAN.

MOST PEOPLE THINK OF
CAFFEINE AS JUST KIND OF,

YOU KNOW, THIS
MILD LITTLE THING.

THAT DOESN'T
LOOK VERY MILD.

FOR SOME PEOPLE, IT CAN
BE VERY, VERY STRONG

AND HAVE THIS
KIND OF EFFECT,

WHILE OTHER PEOPLE CAN
DRINK A CUP OF COFFEE
WITH CAFFEINE IN IT

BEFORE THEY GO TO
BED AND IT NEVER
AFFECTS THEM.

YOU JUST NEED
TO BE AWARE OF HOW
IT AFFECTS YOU.

AND IF IT AFFECTS
YOU IN A HYPER WAY,

YOU PROBABLY
SHOULDN'T DRINK IT.

UNLESS YOU LIKE
THAT KIND OF THING.
UNLESS YOU LIKE
THAT KIND OF THING.

OKAY, GOT TO GO
DOC... THANKS A LOT.

HEY, CHUCK? GO HOME.

NOW ALL THIS CAFFEINE
TALK BEGS THE QUESTION,

IS THERE SUCH A THING
AS A GREAT CUP OF DECAF?

WELL, IT'S NOT REALLY
A SIMPLE QUESTION.

IT'S GOT A LOT TO
DO WITH ECONOMICS.

NOW LET'S SAY THAT
THIS CUP OF DECAF

AND THIS CUP OF REGULAR
BOTH COST $100.

BUT WE'RE OKAY WITH THAT,

BECAUSE WE KNOW THAT
QUALITY MEANS COST, RIGHT?

NOW EVEN AT ITS BEST,
DECAFFEINATION IS LIKE

DOING SURGERY
WITH A HAND GRENADE.

I MEAN, YOU MAY GET
MOST OF THE CAFFEINE,

BUT A LOT OF THE GOOD
STUFF'S GONNA GO DOWN

THE PROVERBIAL
DRAIN WITH IT.

TO MAKE UP FOR THAT,
DECAFFEINATORS HAVE TO USE

THE BEST QUALITY BEANS,
CALLED DOUBLE A.

THEY'RE NOT REALLY GOLD,
BUT YOU GET THE IDEA.

THEY, OF COURSE,
COST MORE MONEY.

THERE... OH, DID I
MENTION THAT DECAFFEINATION

IS A COMPLICATED PROCESS
REQUIRING EXPENSIVE FACTORIES?

THERE YOU GO.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A
FAT-CAT INDUSTRIALIST

TO KNOW THAT THAT
MEANS MORE OF THESE.

SO NOW YOU'VE
GOT YOUR DECAF,

AND IT'S PRETTY DARN GOOD.

BUT IT COSTS A HECK OF A
LOT MORE THAN MY REGULAR,

WHICH WE CONSUMERS
JUST WON'T TOLERATE.

NOW COFFEE PROCESSORS
RESPECT THAT,

SO THERE GO THE
DOUBLE A BEANS.

PITY, THAT DOESN'T
EVEN THINGS UP.

WELL, WE CAN'T DO
WITHOUT THE FACTORIES,

SO WE'LL HAVE TO GO
WITH SUBSTANDARD BEANS.

THERE, NOW THEY
COST THE SAME.

OF COURSE NOW THIS CUP

TASTES A LOT LIKE A
WET... RUFF, RUFF, RUFF.

SO EITHER SETTLE
FOR DRINKING LESS OF
THIS HARD STUFF HERE

OR SEEK OUT
EXPENSIVE DECAFS.

UNTIL SOMEONE GENETICALLY
ENGINEERS A COFFEE TREE

WITH A NO-CAFFEINE GENE,
THIS IS THE BEST WE CAN DO.

NOW WE HOPED WE'VE
INSPIRED YOU TO WAKE UP

AND SMELL...
WELL, YOU KNOW.

JUST REMEMBER THAT BEANS
AND WATER ARE INGREDIENTS.

BREWING IS COOKING.

AND IF YOU TAKE THE TIME,
PAY ATTENTION TO DETAILS,

THIS IS "GOOD EATS."