Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 2, Episode 2 - For Whom the Cheese Melts - full transcript

(Alton Brown)
I REMEMBER MY FIRST FONDUE.

I WAS THREE, AND MY PARENTS
WERE HAVING A PARTY.

I WAS SUPPOSED
TO BE IN BED,

BUT I SNUCK OUT AND
I WENT DOWN THE HALL.

THERE THEY WERE SITTING
WITH THESE OTHER ADULTS

AROUND THIS
BUBBLING CAULDRON.

AND THEY HAD
THESE LONG FORKS,

AND THEY WERE STABBING THINGS
AND DIPPING THEM INTO THIS GOO.

AND IT WAS TERRIFYING,

BUT IT WAS ENTICING, TOO.

AND WHEN NOBODY WAS LOOKING,
I SNUCK INTO THE ROOM



AND I SCOOPED UP SOME OF THE
DREGS WITH A COLD OSCAR MEYER,

AND I TOOK A BITE...
AND IT WAS, WELL,

IT WAS LIKE JUST STEPPING RIGHT
THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS.

FROM THAT DAY ON, I WAS A
DEDICATED CHEESE MELTER.

THAT WAS 1965,
AND BACK THEN,

WE ONLY HAD TWO CHEESES--

WHITE KIND AND YELLOW KIND.

BUT BOY, I MELTED A
TON OF BOTH OF THEM.

WHEN THERE WASN'T ANY
CHEESE AROUND TO MELT,

I'D SOMETIMES TAKE THE
HEADS OFF MY SISTER'S...

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THAT
ANYTIME THAT A NEW CHEESE

HIT THE GROCERY STORE,
I WAS DOWN THERE WITH MY
ALLOWANCE IN A FLASH.

I REMEMBER BRINGING A PIECE OF
BRIE HOME WHEN I WAS EIGHT,

AND MY MOM MADE ME
TAKE IT BACK BECAUSE
IT HAD MOLD ON IT.



OH, WHEN COLLEGE CAME,
WHOO! WAS THERE CHEESE.

OH, BOY, WAS THERE A
LOT OF CHEESE THEN,

LET ME TELL YOU.

BUT YOU KNOW, AFTER YOU'VE
HAD A FEW RACLETTES,

DONE SOME WELSH RABBIT,

YOU KNOW, THE EXOTICISM
KIND OF WEARS OFF,

AND YOU JUST WANT TO GO
HOME TO YOUR FIRST LOVE.

FOR ME, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF
ONE PARTICULAR GUILTY PLEASURE,

WHICH MAYBE WE'LL GET TO
LATER, THAT MEANT FONDUE.

HERE YOU GO, BUDDY,
HERE'S A NICE PIECE

OF AGED CHESHIRE FOR YOU.

A FONDUE, OF COURSE,
IS ALL ABOUT MELTING,

BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW WHAT'LL
MELT WELL AND WHAT WON'T?

WELL, YOU CAN DO WHAT I DID...

YOU CAN MELT THEM ALL.

I TELL YOU, AFTER THAT,

YOU'D BE SURPRISED HOW MANY
OF THOSE CHILDHOOD CHEESES

STILL HOLD UP THE BEST.

AND WHAT DID I DO WITH
ALL OF THOSE LEFTOVERS?

LET'S JUST SAY THAT OLD
SQUEAKY DOWN THERE'S
DAYS ARE NUMBERED.

BUT HEY, NO SACRIFICE TO
BIG FOR GOOD EATS, RIGHT?

I THINK I SEE A
PORT-SALUT OVER THERE.

(snapping)
YOW! D'OH!

CHEESEMAKING HAS BEEN CALLED
THE ART OF SPOILING MILK.

I THINK IT'S A PRETTY GOOD
DESCRIPTION... EASY, GIRL.

SEE, IT ALL STARTS
WITH THE PROCESSING

OF MILK'S PRIMARY AND
SECONDARY PROTEINS--

THAT WOULD BE CASEIN
AND LACTOGLOBULIN--

INTO WHAT'S BASICALLY
CURDS AND WHEY.

NOW BY THE WAY, YOU'RE
NOT LIKELY TO FIND PEOPLE

MILKING COWS WHILE SITTING
ON TUFFETS ANYMORE,

BUT THAT'S NOT TO SAY YOU
WON'T OCCASIONALLY RUN INTO

THE OCCASIONAL SPIDER.

TO GAIN INSIGHT INTO THIS
MYSTERIOUS TRANSFORMATION,

I GOT OFF MY TUFFET
AND HEADED TO WISCONSIN

AND MY FAVORITE FONDUE
FATHER, GRUYERE.

I ARRIVED AT ROTH
KASE JUST IN TIME

TO HELP WITH A VAT OF COW
JUICE OVER INTO THE AFTERLIFE.

BUT BEFORE PUTTING
ME TO WORK,

MASTER CHEESEMAKER,
BRUCE WORKMAN,

GAVE ME THE LOWDOWN ON
THE THREE MAJOR STAGES
OF CHEESE PRODUCTION.

FIRST, AN ENZYME
BACTERIAL COCKTAIL

IS ADDED TO INCREASE
THE MILK'S ACIDITY

AND TO CURDLE THE
PROTEIN, CASEIN,

WHICH QUICKLY SETS TO A
CUSTARD-LIKE CONSISTENCY.

THEN THE GIANT CURD IS
CUT INTO SMALL BITS

SO THAT THE YELLOW-GREEN
LIQUID, OR WHEY,

HELD IN THE PROTEIN
MATRIX, CAN BE SEPARATED

FROM THE SOLIDS.

THE CURDS AND WHEY
OF MANY AGED CHEESES,

LIKE GRUYERE AND PARMESAN,

ARE QUICKLY COOKED TO FURTHER
REFINE THEIR PROTEINS

BEFORE BEING PUMPED
INTO GIANT PRESSES.

NOW AT THIS POINT,
THE CURDS RESEMBLE

RICE-SIZED CHUNKS OF LATEX.

AND TO TELL THE TRUTH, THEY
KIND OF TASTE THAT WAY, TOO.

ONCE THEY SETTLE ON
THE FLOOR OF THE PRESS,

THE CURDS GET A
BIG HYDRAULIC HUG,

WHICH CONSOLIDATES THE
CURD TO A SOLID MASS

AND GETS MORE OF THE
WHEY OUT OF THE WAY.

THIS BIG SHEET IS NOW
SCORED AND THEN CUT

INTO RUBBERY SQUARE
BLOCKS, WHICH ARE THEN

UNCEREMONIOUSLY FORCED
INTO ROUND MOLDS.

THEN OF COURSE, IT'S
TIME FOR MORE SQUEEZING.

THIS TIME, THE CURDS
EMERGE AS CHEESE--

FLAVORLESS, BUT
CHEESE NONETHELESS.

NOW ONCE THEY'RE
TURNED OUT AND RACKED,

THESE FROMAGE ENFANTS

ARE READY TO PUT
ON SOME AGE.

NOW FINE GRUYERE
CAN AGE ANYWHERE

FROM MONTHS TO YEARS.

AND DURING THIS TIME, THE
FLAVOR AND TEXTURE RIPEN

FROM BLAND TO COMPLEX.

ALAS, FOR GRUYERE,
THE WORK'S NOT OVER.

WHILE AGING, THESE ROUNDS
RECEIVE REGULAR SCRUBBING

WITH MORE SALT
AND BACTERIA.

THE BACTERIA PRODUCE
FLAVOR COMPOUNDS,

WHILE THE SALT
ADDS SEASONING

AND POLICE THE METABOLIC
ACTIVITY OF THE BACTERIA,

THUS PREVENTING THE CHEESE
FROM SPOILING TOO FAST.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,

BUT I THINK THIS IS AS
CLOSE AS YOU CAN GET

TO A CULINARY MINE FIELD.

I MEAN, ONE WRONG STEP AND
YOU'VE DROPPED TEN BUCKS

ON TWO OUNCES OF
COAGULATED GYM SOCK,

WHICH I HEAR SOME
FOLKS REALLY LIKE.

LIKE FISH, WINE AND
CERTAIN AUTO PARTS,

THE KEY TO CHEESE ENJOYMENT

IS TO FIND THE RIGHT
CHEESEMONGER TO SUPPLY YOU.

WHAT DO YOU LOOK FOR?

PASSION WITHOUT PRETENSION,
KNOWLEDGE WITHOUT ATTITUDE,

AND A QUICK HAND
WITH THE SAMPLES.

NOW WHEN CASING
A CHEESEMONGER,

ASK THEM A QUESTION YOU
ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO,

JUST TO SEE IF YOU LIKE THE WAY
THEY HANDLE IT... OBSERVE.

EXCUSE ME,
YES.

COULD YOU TELL ME
WHY THAT SWISS CHEESE
HAS HOLES IN IT?

THE HOLES COME FROM
THE CARBON DIOXIDE
THAT ARE PRODUCED

DURING THE CHEESE-
MAKING PROCESS
FROM THE BACTERIA.

PRETTY GOOD, CAN
I HAVE A SAMPLE?
ABSOLUTELY.

WELL, SHE'S
TWO FOR TWO.

LET'S TURN UP THE
HEAT, SHALL WE?

SO LINSEY, WOULD YOU
SAY THESE ARE GOOD
MELTING CHEESES?

THEY'RE GREAT
MELTING CHEESES.

IT WOULD BE GOOD
FOR SAY, FONDUE?

YEAH, ABSOLUTELY...
EITHER THIS EMMENTHALER

OR THIS GRUYERE.
OKAY.

SO LET'S SAY I
JUST WALKED IN
OFF THE STREET.

HOW COULD I SPOT A
GOOD MELTING CHEESE?

WELL, WHAT YOU WANT
TO LOOK FOR IS A
SEMI-FIRM CHEESE

THAT HAS AT LEAST
40 PERCENT FAT.

FORTY PERCENT FAT,
THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS.

THAT'S TOO MUCH FAT.

NO, IT ACTUALLY
ISN'T, BECAUSE THE 40

IS A PERCENTAGE OF
THE OVERALL DRY MATTER.

AND SINCE THIS WHEEL OF
CHEESE IS ABOUT HALF WATER,

WE'RE LOOKING AT SOMETHING
THAT'S 20 TO 25 PERCENT FAT.

AH, WE CAN HANDLE THAT.
YEAH, WE CAN.

SO HAVE ANY TIPS ON
MELTING TECHNIQUES?

WELL, YOU WANT
TO MELT SLOWLY.

IF YOU MELT
QUICKLY, YOUR CHEESE
IS GONNA BREAK,

AND IT'S JUST
GONNA BE A MESS.

OKAY, LAST QUESTION.

WHAT SHOULD WE LOOK FOR
IN A GOOD CHEESE SHOP?

WELL, THE FIRST THING
YOU LOOK FOR IS A
BUSY CHEESE SHOP,

BECAUSE THAT MEANS THE
CHEESES HAVEN'T BEEN
SITTING AROUND TOO LONG.

AND IF THEY'RE
WRAPPED IN PLASTIC,

THEY HAVEN'T BEEN IN THE
PLASTIC FOR TOO LONG.

SO THESE HAVE BEEN
IN THE PLASTIC...
MAYBE TWO DAYS.

OKAY, I'LL BUY THAT...
ANYTHING ELSE?
YEAH.

YOU WANT TO LOOK
FOR A KNOWLEDGEABLE
CHEESE STAFF,

SOMEBODY WHO CAN GUIDE
YOU, WHO CAN FIGURE OUT
WHAT YOUR TASTES ARE

AND BRING YOU TO THE
CHEESE THAT IS GONNA
MATCH YOU JUST RIGHT.

YOU ALSO WANT SOMEBODY
WHO'S MORE THAN WILLING

TO CUT A PIECE OFF
THE LARGER CHUNK,

ESPECIALLY IF MOST
OF THE CHEESES ARE
WRAPPED IN PLASTIC.

ANY CHUNK THEY WANT?
ANY CHUNK THEY WANT.

I WANT THIS CHUNK.

OKAY.
LET'S GO.

HA, HA, HA, HA, HA.

YOU CAN DO IT...
COME ON.

THAT'S IT, WE'RE
ALMOST FREE...
WE'RE ALMOST THERE.

AHH... A
BEAUTIFUL CHEESE.

IT SHOULD BE
ABOUT ENOUGH.

AH, IT IS FINISHED.

OH, HI... WELCOME TO
"THIS OLD CUTTING BOARD."

YOU KNOW, ANYBODY WHO'S
CUT CHEESE KNOWS THAT

THE ONLY THING TOUGHER THAN
DRIVING A KNIFE THROUGH
A BLOCK OF MOZZARELLA

IS DRIVING A BICYCLE
THROUGH A SWIMMING POOL.

SO I DECIDED TO
CONVERT THIS OLD,

MISERABLY UNDERSIZED
CUTTING BOARD

INTO A WIRE CUTTER
MUCH LIKE THAT

USED BY MY PROFESSIONAL
CHEESEMONGER FRIEND.

SO WHAT I DID IS I CUT A
LITTLE VENT RIGHT THERE,

KIND OF A LITTLE SLOT
IN THE END OF THE BOARD.

AND THEN I CUT A BIG
SLOT ALL THE WAY DOWN
THE FACE OF THE BOARD

AND ENDED IT WITH THIS
LITTLE "V" RIGHT HERE.

THEN, I STOLE A GUITAR STRING
OFF MY NEPHEW'S GUITAR.

LET'S FACE IT, IF HE
HASN'T GOTTEN "STAIRWAY
TO HEAVEN" BY NOW,

HE'S NEVER GOING TO.

OF COURSE, IF YOU'VE GOT A
ZITHER LAYING AROUND THE HOUSE

OR AN AUTOHARP, OR
A SMALL HARPSICHORD,

THAT'LL DO FINE, TOO.

I JUST RAN THE NUT
OF THE STRING THROUGH
THIS LITTLE NAIL

AND THEN BENT THE
END OF THE NAIL,

SO THAT WHEN INSERTED
INTO SLOT "A"...

HA, HA, HA, HA, HA...
IT IS CAPTURED.

THE WIRE GOES
INTO THE SLOT,

AND WHAT WAS ONCE A WOEFULLY
UNUSABLE PIECE OF EQUIPMENT

IS NOW A CHEESE-
CUTTING JUGGERNAUT.

YOU CAN'T BEAT THAT.

NOW OF COURSE,
EVENTUALLY, THIS LITTLE
SLOT'S GONNA GET DIRTY.

BUT THAT'S NO PROBLEM.

WHENEVER YOU WASH IT,
JUST USE A PIPE CLEANER
TO GET DOWN INTO THE SLOT.

NOW THAT WE HAVE THE
TECHNOLOGY TO CUT THE CHEESE,

YOU GOT TO KNOW WHERE
TO STORE THE CHEESE.

REAL CHEESE HAS A
LOT OF LIFE LEFT IN IT.

BACTERIA ARE MUNCHING,
ENZYMES ARE CATALYZING,

MOLD IS GROWING...
IT'S A BUSY PLACE.

LIKE A HEAD OF LETTUCE,
IT'S BREATHING, BASICALLY.

BUT UNLIKE LETTUCE, WHICH STORES
BEST IN HERE WHEN ROBBED OF AIR,

IF CHEESE DOESN'T BREATH, IT
GETS FUNKY, SMELLY, SLIMY.

IT'S NOT PRETTY.

NOW WHEN THIS EDAM WAS WHOLE,
IT WAS PROTECTED BY ITS WAX.

IT DIDN'T NEED A WHOLE
LOT OF ATTENTION.

BUT AFTER IT WAS BREACHED,

WELL, A LOT OF
THINGS CAN GO WRONG.

SO A FEW LAYERS
OF WAX PAPER

WILL HELP TO PREVENT
DRYING AND SUFFOCATION.

A RUBBER BAND KEEPS
THINGS TOGETHER.

NOW SINCE THIS PICKS UP
ODORS LIKE MOLECULAR VELCRO,

THIS SHOULD HAVE
A ROOM OF ITS OWN.

CHEESE, LIKE GRETA
GARBO, LIKES TO BE ALONE.

NOW IF I COULD JUST
FIND A DRAWER FOR THIS...

I THINK I'M GONNA
NEED A BIGGER BOX.

HELLO, "W."

HELLO, HUTCH...
STARSKY PARKIN'
THE TORINO?

HEY, COME ON, IF
YOU'RE GONNA REVIVE
A '70s FOOD FAD,

YOU SHOULD DRESS
THE PART, RIGHT?

I BET YOU'RE LOOKING
FOR A FONDUE POT.
HOW'D YOU GUESS?

WELL, YOU'VE GOT CHEESY
DIP WRITTEN ALL OVER YOU.

COME ON, I WANT TO FINISH
POLISHING MY MOOD RINGS.

OH, I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D
HAVE MORE THAN ONE.

RING?
MOOD...

THE TRADITIONAL SWISS FONDUE
POT'S MADE OF EARTHENWARE,

WHICH IS SLOW TO HEAT
AND GENTLE TO CHEESES.

YEAH, BUT YOU KNOW,
THOSE ALCOHOL BURNERS
ARE TOUGH TO SET UP

BY THE HOT TUB...
GOT ANY OPTIONS?
OF COURSE.

THE ELECTRIC MODELS
CAN HANDLE CHEESE AS
WELL AS OIL FONDUES.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO
IS SET THE THERMOSTAT.

NON-STICK INTERIOR,
VERY CONSIDERATE.

IS THAT IT?
WELL, WE HAVE
THE ORNAMENTALS.

OH, YOU KNOW, THAT
FLIMSY METAL'S

A CRUMMY INSULATOR AND
OVEREAGER CONDUCTOR.

EITHER WAY, IT'S
BAD FOR CHEESE.

NO, I'LL STICK
WITH THE ELECTRIC.

I THINK IT LOOKS
KIND OF COOL.

GOT ANY TIPS FOR ME?
CHANGE CLOTHES.

I NEED A GRATER.

FOR CHEESE?
NO, REMIND
ME OF YOU.

ROTARY GRATERS ARE
BEST FOR HARD CHEESE
LIKE PARMESAN,

BUT IF YOU'RE ONLY
GONNA GET ONE GRATER,
MAKE IT A BOX.

BROAD-BASED MODELS
WITH CENTER HANDLES

ARE THE MOST STABLE.

AND YOU WANT AT LEAST
FOUR TOOTH SIZES.

BUY BIG... SMALL
GRATERS ARE WORTHLESS.

GREAT...
I'LL GET GRATING.

DO YOU EVER STOP?

ONE FINAL FONDUE
PHILOSOPHY...

DON'T SPEND THE GREEN IF
YOU DON'T DIG THE SCENE.

NO, REALLY, WHAT?

MAKE YOUR INAUGURAL
BATCH IN A HEAVY SAUCEPAN

OR EVEN YOUR CROCK POT.

IT'LL TAKE A LITTLE BIT LONGER,
BUT IT'LL TASTE JUST AS GOOD.

THEN, YOU KNOW,
IF YOU DIG IT,

YOU CAN SPEND FOR THE POT.

I GOT THREE.

WITH ONE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION,
WHICH WE'LL GET TO SHORTLY,

FONDUE IS THE FINEST DESTINY
TO WHICH CHEESE CAN ASPIRE.

IT ALSO HAPPENS TO BE THE
ORIGINAL HALFTIME FOOD.

THE TIME, 1531...

THE PLACE, A SWITZERLAND
TORN BY REFORMATION.

CATHOLICS FROM
THE RURAL CANTONS

AND PROTESTANTS
FROM THE CITIES

HAVE SKIRMISHED WITH AND
LAID SIEGE TO EACH OTHER

FOR MONTHS, LEAVING BOTH
SIDES NEAR STARVATION.

OF COURSE, BEING SWISS,
AND THEREFORE EFFICIENT,

THEY REALIZED THAT IF
THEY STARVED TO DEATH,

THEY CAN'T KEEP
KILLING EACH OTHER.

SO A TRUCE IS DRAWN UP SO
THAT THE TWO WARRING PARTIES

MIGHT POOL ALL OF THE EDIBLE
RESOURCES THAT REMAIN.

A FIRE IS BUILT ON THE MIDDLE
OF THE FIELD OF BATTLE,

AND A POT IS
PLACED UPON IT.

I DON'T KNOW IF ANYBODY
BOTHERED RUBBING THE
CAULDRON DOWN WITH GARLIC,

BUT I DO KNOW THAT
IT'S TRADITIONAL

AND IT REALLY DOES MAKE
FONDUE TASTE BETTER.

NOW THE PROTESTANTS
BROUGHT BREAD AND WINE.

THE CATHOLICS,
BEING GOOD FARM BOYS,

BROUGHT HOMEMADE CHEESE...
WHAT YOU GOT FOR ME!

APPLE JUICE...
BAG OF ROLLS, COACH.

BAG OF ROLLS AND
APPLE JUICE... DID YOU
BRING A BOTTLE OPENER?

SWISS ARMY
KNIFE, COACH.
SWISS ARMY KNIFE.

SHOULD HAVE SEEN
THAT ONE COMING.

(cough)... THIS
WAS APPLE JUICE.

NOW IT HAS GONE
HARD ON YOU.

BUT THAT'S OKAY, BECAUSE A
GOOD, HARD AMERICAN CIDER

IS THE PERFECT REPLACEMENT
FOR THE TRADITIONAL
NEUCHâTEL WINE.

SO TEN TO TWELVE OUNCES,
STRAIGHT INTO THE POT.

WHAT DO YOU DO
WITH THE REST OF IT?

I'M GONNA DRINK
IT... GIVE ME 20.

BRING THIS TO A SIMMER WITH
A PINCH OF KOSHER SALT--

MAKE THAT TWO PINCHES--

A TABLESPOON OF LEMON JUICE

AND A TABLESPOON OF BRANDY,

JUST TO ROUND
OUT THE FLAVOR.

WHAT'D YOU
BRING ME, SON?
CHEESE, COACH.

CHEESE... GRUYERE, THE
ARCHETYPAL SWISS CHEESE.

EXCELLENT... WHAT
ELSE YOU GOT FOR ME?

MORE CHEESE.

SMOKED GOUDA...
NICE CHOICE.

I'M IMPRESSED.

NOW BOTH OF THESE ARE
MEDIUM-MOISTURE CHEESES,

BUT SINCE IT'S AGED,
THE GRUYERE PROTEINS

ARE SMALLER AND
TIGHTER TOGETHER.

SO IT'S GONNA TAKE A
MUCH LONGER TIME TO MELT

THAN THE YOUNGER GOUDA.

OKAY, I WANT YOU TO
GIVE ME FIVE OUNCES
OF EACH OF THOSE CHEESES.

I WANT 'EM WEIGHED...
HIT IT, SOLDIER.

WHATEVER YOU DO,
NEVER TRUST A RECIPE

THAT CALLS FOR CUPS
OF GRATED CHEESE.

THERE'S JUST TOO MANY
VARIABLES INVOLVED.

YOU WANT TO GO BY
WEIGHT, ALWAYS.

NICE JOB, BUT
A LITTLE SLOW.

HOW 'BOUT
SOME PUSH-UPS?
HOW MANY?

I'LL LET YOU KNOW!

NOW BEFORE WE JUST
START HEAVING THIS
IN THE POT TO MELT,

LET'S TAKE OUT A LITTLE
MELTING INSURANCE

BY TOSSING IT WITH ABOUT TWO
TABLESPOONS OF CORNSTARCH.

NOW YOU COULD USE
FLOUR FOR THIS,

BUT I THINK IT TASTES KIND
OF FUNNY, CEREAL-LIKE.

SO I LIKE THE CORNSTARCH.

WE'RE JUST GONNA ADD THIS...
GOOD, WE'VE GOT A SIMMER.

THAT'S WHAT WE WANT.

I'M GONNA ADD THIS
A HANDFUL AT A TIME.

AND YOU WANT TO BE
SURE TO STIR IT IN

AND LET THIS MELT COMPLETELY
BEFORE YOU ADD THE NEXT DOSE.

NOW CHEESE MELTS FOR
TWO REASONS, BASICALLY.

ONE, THE FATS LOOSEN
UP AND GET SOFT.

BUT THE PROTEIN, CASEIN, IS
ACTUALLY PRIMARILY RESPONSIBLE.

SEE, WHAT HAPPENS
IS IN ITS RAW STATE,

THESE PROTEINS ARE BALLED UP
INTO THESE TIGHT LITTLE COILS.

WHEN THEY GET HOT,
THEY DENATURE OR UNWIND...

KIND OF LET THEIR
MOLECULAR HAIR DOWN...

AND THEY KIND OF TANGLE
UP WITH EACH OTHER.

NOW AT THIS POINT, THEY'RE
EXTREMELY ATTRACTED TO ONE
ANOTHER.

AND IF THERE'S TOO
MUCH HEAT IN THE POT,

IT'LL HUDDLE UP EVEN
TIGHTER THAN THEY WERE

IN THE ORIGINAL CHEESE.

IN OTHER WORDS,
THEY'LL CLUMP.

THAT'S NOT A NICE THING.

NOW DOING THIS OVER GENTLE
HEAT WILL HELP A GREAT DEAL,

BUT WHAT WE REALLY
NEED IS THE STARCH.

FIFTY-ONE, FIFTY-
TWO, FIFTY-THREE,
FIFTY-FOUR...

NOW LET'S SAY FOR A MINUTE
THAT A FONDUE POT'S

LIKE A HIGH SCHOOL
DANCE, OKAY?

WE'VE GOT ALL THESE
LOOSE, HOT PROTEINS

JUST FLOATING
AROUND IN THERE.

THEY CAN'T WAIT TO GET NEXT
TO EACH OTHER, ALL RIGHT?

SO WHAT WE NEED IS A
CHAPERONE, SO TO SPEAK,

SOMETHING TO GET IN THERE
AND BREAK UP THE ACTION.

AND THAT'S WHAT
THE CORNSTARCH DOES.

THE STARCH LITERALLY
GETS IN BETWEEN

ALL OF THESE STRANDS

AND PREVENTS ANY SLOW
DANCING, CUDDLING OR CLUMPING,

AS IT'S KNOWN IN
THE FONDUE TRADE.

OH, AND THE LEMON JUICE--
THAT CITRIC ACID--

LITERALLY COMES IN AND CUTS SOME
OF THESE LONG PROTEIN STRANDS

INTO SMALLER SEGMENTS,

WHICH PREVENTS THE FONDUE
FROM GETTING STRINGY.

AFTER ALL, THIS ISN'T PIZZA.

105, 106, 107...

NOW AS THE FONDUE
COMES TOGETHER,

YOU'LL NOTICE LITTLE
BUBBLES JUST BREAKING
THE SURFACE.

THAT'S GOOD... YOU WANT TO
KEEP IT AT THAT STATE, OKAY?

AND EACH TIME YOU
ADD MORE CHEESE,

YOU WANT TO BRING IT
BACK TO THAT POINT

BEFORE ADDING ANY MORE.

BUT ABOVE ALL, TRY
NOT TO LET IT BOIL.

WHEN YOU ADD THE LAST
INSTALLMENT OF THE CHEESE,

IT'S A GREAT TIME TO ADD
A LITTLE BIT OF FLAVOR.

I LIKE TO GO WITH ABOUT
A PINCH OF BLACK PEPPER

AND ABOUT A HALF A
TEASPOON OF CURRY POWDER.

YOU CAN GO WITH
MORE IF YOU LIKE.

NOW IF YOU'RE NOT A BIG
CURRY FAN, THAT'S OKAY.

TRY A PINCH OF CAYENNE, MAYBE
SOME NUTMEG, SOME FRESH HERBS.

IT'S UP TO YOU.

OF COURSE, THE BEST
THING ABOUT FONDUE

IS FINDING GOOD
STUFF TO DIP IN IT.

SUGGESTIONS, GUYS?
CHUNKS OF BREAD.

SURE, ALL KINDS
SHAPES AND SIZES.

DONUT HOLES.
RETHINK THAT.

BLANCHED AND
CHILLED VEGETABLES,

SUCH AS BROCCOLI
AND CAULIFLOWER.
VERY GOOD.

FONDUE IS ACTUALLY
AN EXCELLENT WAY

TO TRICK CHILDREN INTO
EATING THEIR VEGETABLES.

CHEESE CUBES.
HAVE I MENTIONED THAT
THESE LITTLE FORKS...

WHY DO YOU DIP
CHEESE IN THE CHEESE?
I LIKE CHEESE!

HEY, WE ALL
LIKE CHEESE, OKAY?

NOW SEE THESE
LITTLE TINES...

THEY'RE REALLY GOOD FOR HOLDING
ON TO THE FOOD SO THAT YOU DON'T
LOSE IT IN THE DRINK.

MY PERSONAL FAVORITE
IS COOKED SAUSAGE,

KIELBASA, BRATWURST...
VIENNA?

VIENNA...

NOT EXACTLY WHAT I
HAD IN MIND, BUT OKAY.

UH-OH, I LOST
MY APPLE.

OH, SEE YOU'VE
HAD A BLOWOUT.

NOW TRADITIONALLY, YOU
WOULD HAVE TO BUY ALL
OF US A ROUND OF DRINKS.

BUT IN YOUR
CASE, 50 PUSH-UPS,

THEN BACK TO
KILLING EACH OTHER.

MM, I'M HUNGRY.

OH, COOL.

A LITTLE GRILLED-
CHEESE ACTION HERE.

TWO CAST-IRON PANS,

ONE THAT FITS
INSIDE THE OTHER.

GIVE IT SOME HIGH
HEAT FOR A FEW MINUTES.

SOME BREAD, SOME BREAD,
BREAD, BREAD, BREAD, BREAD.

MM, ITALIAN LOAF... RUSTIC.

CHEESE... GO
WITH A CHEDDAR.

A SHARP MUSTARD...
SMOOTH DIJON.

GRATED ALWAYS,
NEVER SLICED.

IT WILL MELT EVENLY.

A LITTLE MORE...
THERE WE GO.

TWO SLICES...
MUSTARD ONE SIDE.

LET'S SEE,
SOME BLACK PEPPER.

LOTS OF BLACK PEPPER.

ONE HANDFUL, CLOSE IT UP...

A LITTLE OLIVE OIL SPRITZ,
ONE SIDE ONLY...

FETCH MY PAN.

BIG ONE ON THE BOTTOM,
OILY SIDE DOWN.

A LITTLE SPRITZ... DON'T
FORGET THE BOTTOM OF THE PAN,

OR IT WILL STICK.

WHO NEEDS A
$1000 SANDWICH PRESS

WHEN YOU'VE GOT
THIS TAKEN CARE OF?

OKAY, HERE WE GO.

A LITTLE SPATULA
JUST TO KIND OF

COAX THAT THING
OFF THE BOTTOM.

THAT'S IT, THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT RIGHT THERE.

SLICE...

NOW SEE, THE
PRESSURE... JUST RIGHT.

PERFECT CRUST.

LET'S NOT RUIN THIS
MOMENT WITH WORDS.

MM, COME TO DADDY.

HEH-HEH-HEH-HEH...
THAT'S WHAT I'M
TALKING ABOUT.

* GOOD EATS *