Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 14, Episode 7 - American Classics VIII: Tacos - full transcript

WELCOME, AMERICAN COOKS.

AS YOU NO DOUBT DEDUCED
FROM THE, UH,

STAR-SPANGLED BANNER BEHIND ME,

YOU HAVE STUMBLED UPON
ANOTHER EPISODE

OF A SERIES WITHIN A SERIES THAT
WE CALL "AMERICAN CLASSICS."

THE DRUM BEHIND ME HAS BEEN
FILLED TO BURSTING

WITH THE NAMES NOT ONLY
OF EDIBLE AMERICANA

THAT WE HAVE LET SLIDE,

BUT ALSO THE NAMES OF DISHES
FROM OTHER CULTURES

THAT WE HAVE MANGLED
OR MISADJUSTED

IN THAT, UH,
MECHANICAL WAY



THAT ONLY AMERICA CAN.

TODAY'S LONG-SUFFERING VICTUAL
IS...

(drumroll)
(clears throat)

MY, WHAT A FASCINATING FAITH
THE DRUM HAS FORETOLD.

THE TACO, A DISH,
WHICH, FOR BETTER OR WORSE,

HAS BEEN FULLY ASSIMILATED
INTO THE COLLECTIVE

AMERICAN MEAL MENAGERIE.

AN ODD CHOICE?
HECK, NO.

I MEAN, I, FOR ONE, HAVE ALWAYS
WANTED A TACO TRUCK,

YOU KNOW, SO I COULD CRUISE
AROUND THE NEIGHBORHOOD

SELLING TACOS.

I MEAN, UH,
I'M NOT A MEXICAN CHEF.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW THAT MUCH
ABOUT MEXICAN FOOD.

I'M AN AMERICAN MUTT,



AND THAT MEANS I'VE GOT
SANDWICHES IN MY BLOOD.

WELL, HECK, YEAH,
THE TACO'S A SANDWICH,

ONLY IT'S BETTER.

I MEAN, CONSIDER THE CLASSIC
SANDWICH PARADIGM, YOU KNOW,

AS IT WAS SUPPOSEDLY INVENTED
BY THE EARL OF SANDWICH, RIGHT,

IN ENGLAND, OF ALL PLACES--
I MEAN,

IT'S JUST TWO MASSIVE SLABS
OF BREAD SHOVED FULL OF MEAT.

IT'S AS STRUCTURALLY UNSOUND

AS IT IS
NUTRITIONALLY UNBALANCED.

HMM.

ANYWAY, I SAY IT'S ONLY RIGHT
THAT WE EXAMINE THE TACO

THROUGH THE RED, WHITE AND BLUE
LENS OF...

♪♪♪

♪ GOOD EATS ♪

MOST FOLKS THAT MAKE THEIR HOME
NORTH OF THE RIO GRANDE

ARE NOT AWARE OF THE FACT
THAT THERE ARE MANY CLASSIC

TACO FORMS, ALL OF WHICH FALL
INTO TWO CATEGORIES, ALL RIGHT?

THERE'S THE BREAKFAST
OR DINNER TACOS.

THERE'S NO SUCH THING
AS A LUNCH TACO, ALL RIGHT?

SOUTH OF THE BORDER,
YOU WILL FIND MANY VARIATIONS

OF TACOS AL PASTOR,

OR SHEPHERD'S, UH, STYLE TACO,

WHICH, ODDLY ENOUGH,
HAS ITS ORIGINS

IN THE, UH, SHAWARMA
OF LEBANON--ODD.

UM, THIN PORK STEAKS

TYPICALLY ARE WRAPPED AROUND
A SPIT AND THEN FIRE-ROASTED--

VEGETABLES IN THAT AS WELL,
LIKE POTATOES.

WE'VE GOT
BEEF BARBACOA, HERE, TACOS,

WE'VE GOT
SLOW-ROASTED BEEF THERE.

CARNITAS--SAME THING,
EXCEPT WITH PORK.

LENGUA--THIS IS INTERESTING--
LENGUA, AS IN LANGUAGE,

AS IN...

VERY TASTY.

AND ONE
OF MY PERSONAL FAVORITES--

CHICHARRóN, OR, UH,
CRISPY PORK SKIN.

MM-HMM, THESE ARE ALL LOVELY,

BUT TODAY WE'RE GOING
TO CONCENTRATE ON TWO CLASSICS

THAT HAVE ENDURED
GREAT SUFFERING

AT THE HANDS
OF GRINGOS LIKE ME--

UH, TACOS DE PESCADO--
FISH TACOS--

AND A VERSION OF TACOS DORADOS,

OR FRIED GOLDEN TACOS,

WHICH CAME OUT OF NEW MEXICO
IN THE LATE '40s,

AND WHO'S FATE
WAS SADLY SEALED BY...

JUVENCIO MALDONADO,

THE NEW YORK RESTAURATEUR,
WHO ON JULY 21st, 1947,

FILED FOR PATENT PROTECTION

FOR HIS NEW INVENTION.

NOW, I DON'T MEAN THIS.

THE HAND-FRIED
TORTILLA TACO SHELL

HAD BEEN AROUND FOR DECADES.

BUT RATHER, THIS...
A FRIED TACO SHELL MOLD.

ALTHOUGH I FEEL CERTAIN THAT
MR. MALDONADO MEANT NO HARM,

PATENT NUMBER 2,506,305

AND ITS DESCENDENTS
WOULD IN MERE DECADES

DOOM THE AMERICAN HARD TACO

TO THE LOWLY FATE
OF THE DRIVE-THROUGH BURGER.

LUCKILY, WE CAN AND WILL

TAKE MATTERS
INTO OUR OWN HANDS.

BEGIN WITH

12 TOP QUALITY
CORN TORTILLAS

IN THE 6- TO 7-INCH RANGE.

NOW IF YOU WANT
TO MAKE YOUR OWN

FROM EITHER A STORE-BOUGHT
CORN DOUGH, OR MASA,

OR A DRY MASA MIX,
THEN MY COMPLIMENTS TO THE CHEF.

BUT YOU MIGHT WANT
TO TAKE A LOOK

AROUND YOUR GENERAL VICINITY

AND SEE IF THERE IS
A SMALL TORTILLA FACTORY.

YOU'D BE SURPRISED
HOW MANY THERE ARE OUT THERE,

AND THEY'RE USUALLY
MORE THAN HAPPY

TO SELL TORTILLAS
RIGHT OUT THE FRONT DOOR,

AND OF COURSE, THAT'S, UH,
SUPPORTING LOCAL INDUSTRY,

AND THAT'S ALWAYS GOOD EATS.

NOW I MAY NOT BE
JUVENCIO MALDONADO,

BUT I STILL NEED
A SHELL MOLD HERE,

SO TAKE SOME
HEAVY-DUTY ALUMINUM FOIL,

AND JUST START ROLLING IT OUT
AND FOLDING IT OVER

AT 10-INCH INCREMENTS

UNTIL YOU HAVE, UH,
FOUR THICKNESSES OF FOIL.

THERE.

THEN, UH, JUST TEAR OFF
THE FOIL.

I LIKE TO USE A METAL RULER FOR
IT--MAKES IT A LITTLE CLEANER.

FOLD THE BOTTOM
TOWARDS THE TOP

LIKE YOU'RE MAKING
AN ALUMINUM FOIL BOOK,

TURN 90 DEGREES, THEN CRIMP
THE TOP AND BOTTOM EDGES

BY, UH, ABOUT AN INCH
OF FOLD OVER THERE,

AND THEN ALSO THE SIDES,

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO CRIMP
THOSE OVER HARD--

WE'RE GONNA NEED THEM
TO STICK OUT A BIT.

THEN JUST USE
EITHER THE FOIL ROLL

OR A NARROW ROLLING PIN

TO MOLD, UH, THIS
INTO A TUBE SHAPE,

BUT MAKE SURE THAT, UH,
IT CAN STAND UP LIKE THAT.

THERE.

NOW HEAT 3/4 OF A CUP
OF PEANUT OIL

IN A 12-INCH CAST-IRON SKILLET
OVER MEDIUM HEAT.

THAT'S GONNA TAKE ABOUT
FIVE MINUTES.

I LIKE TO USE
THIS INFRARED THERMOMETER

TO KEEP AN EYE ON THINGS.

THE REST OF THE HARDWARE--

YOU'RE GONNA NEED TWO SETS
OF SPRING-LOADED TONGS,

AND A COOLING RACK ON A PAN
OVER SOME NEWSPAPER

TO CATCH THE OIL.

KOSHER SALT--STANDING BY.
GOOD.

WHEN THE OIL IS, UH,
AT THE APPROPRIATE TEMPERATURE,

AND LET'S SEE--WELL,
THAT'S CERTAINLY CLOSE ENOUGH--

I'M GONNA TURN DOWN THE HEAT
JUST A LITTLE.

NOW TAKE YOUR FIRST TORTILLA,
MOLD IT AROUND YOUR FORM,

AND THEN HOLD IT IN PLACE
WITH YOUR TONGS LIGHTLY.

YOU DON'T WANT
TO CRUSH THE TUBE.

HOLD THAT STRAIGHT DOWN
INTO THE OIL FOR 20 SECONDS,

THEN TURN OVER ONTO ONE SIDE

AND COOK FOR 30 SECONDS,

FLIP,
COOK FOR ANOTHER 30 SECONDS.

I KNOW IT'S A LOT OF COUNTING,

BUT IT'S EASY WHEN YOU GET
IN THE RHYTHM OF IT.

THERE.

THEN, UH, DRAIN OFF AS MUCH OIL
AS POSSIBLE,

AND INVERT ONTO YOUR, UH,
COOLING RACK LIKE THIS.

THAT NEEDS TO COOL DOWN FOR--
GUESS WHAT--30 SECONDS.

AT THAT POINT,

YOU CAN SLIDE
THE TORTILLA RIGHT OFF.

THERE.

I LIKE TO, UH, SPRINKLE MY
SHELLS WITH A LITTLE KOSHER SALT

WHILE EACH ONE IS STILL HOT,
ALL RIGHT?

IF YOU WAIT UNTIL
ALL 12 ARE DONE,

UH, MOST OF THEM WILL BE COOL,
AND THE SALT WILL JUST...

BOUNCE RIGHT OFF.

SO NOW WE REPEAT
11 MORE TIMES.

OF COURSE, IF YOU MADE
YOURSELF TWO MOLDS,

THIS WOULD GO
TWICE AS FAST.

NOW WHEN YOU'RE DONE,
DRAIN OFF ALL THE FAT,

AND RETURN 2 TABLESPOONS--
THAT'S 1 OUNCE--TO THE SKILLET,

AND PLACE THAT
OVER MEDIUM HEAT.

AS SOON AS IT SHIMMERS,

YOU CAN BRING ON
ONE MEDIUM CHOPPED ONION,

AND, UH, COOK THAT
FOR THREE TO FOUR MINUTES,

OR UNTIL IT'S JUST BROWN
AROUND THE EDGES.

♪♪♪

ALL RIGHT, OUR ONIONS ARE DONE,

SO TWO CLOVES OF GARLIC,
FINELY CHOPPED, JOIN THE PARTY,

ALONG WITH A TEASPOON
OF KOSHER SALT AND THE MEAT.

AND I HAVE HERE 1 POUND

OF GOOD OLD-FASHIONED
GROUND SIRLOIN.

THERE.

PLEASE NOTE,
I DID NOT SAY HAMBURGER--

WHICH CAN COME FROM ANY
BEEF PRIMAL OR TRIMMINGS,

AND MAY HAVE FAT ADDED TO IT

UP TO 30% OF ITS TOTAL WEIGHT--

NOR DID I SAY GROUND MEAT,

WHICH DEPENDING ON
HOW IT'S LABELED,

MAY ONLY DIFFER FROM HAMBURGER
IN THE FACT THAT

FAT CANNOT BE ADDED
TO GET IT UP TO 30%,

WHICH ISN'T TO SAY
IT WASN'T ALREADY AT 30% FAT.

I DID NOT SAY GROUND CHUCK,

WHICH CONTAINS AN AWFUL LOT
OF CONNECTIVE TISSUE,

NOR DID I SAY GROUND ROUND,

WHICH IS TYPICALLY DRY
AND MEALY WHEN COOKED.

WHAT I SAID WAS
GROUND SIRLOIN--

PERFECT MIXTURE OF A BEEFY
GOODNESS AND MOISTURE,

WHICH COMES FROM...
(whistles)

(cow moos)

RIGHT HERE, IN BETWEEN
THE RATHER DRY ROUND

AND THE JUICY
BUT EXPENSIVE SHORT LOIN.

GOOD GIRL.
(cow moos)

NOW IF YOUR MEGA MART
DOES NOT HAVE GROUND SIRLOIN

ALREADY IN THE CASE,

THEN SIMPLY CHOOSE
AN APPROPRIATELY SIZED

STEAK OR ROAST, AND ASK YOUR,
UH, BUTCHER TO GRIND IT FOR YOU.

THAT'S WHY THEY'RE HERE.
COULD YOU?
I COULD.

WOULD YOU?
I WOULD.

WILL YOU?
YOU GOT IT.

SWEET.

SO COOK THE SIRLOIN
FOR THREE TO FOUR MINUTES

UNTIL DEEPLY BROWN,
STIRRING OCCASIONALLY.

TASTY, BUT IT'S NOT TACO MEAT
UNTIL IT GETS THE POTION.

BY "POTION," OF COURSE,

I MEAN THE CONCOCTED MIXTURE
OF THICKENERS AND SPICES

THAT WILL CONVERT
REGULAR GROUND MEAT

INTO A FLAVOR FIESTA.

IT TOOK ME A FEW TRIES,

BUT I THINK
I FINALLY HIT PAY DIRT

WITH TACO POTION NUMBER 19.

COMBINE IN A STYLISH
GLASS JAR--

2 TABLESPOONS OF CHILI POWDER--

THAT'S CHILI WITH AN, "AHH,"

1 TABLESPOON OF GROUND CUMIN,

2 TEASPOONS EACH
CORN STARCH AND KOSHER SALT,

1 1/2 TEASPOONS
OF HOT SMOKED PAPRIKA,

1 TEASPOON OF GROUND CORIANDER,

AND 1/2 A TEASPOON
OF CAYENNE.

BAM.

JAR UP, LID UP, SHAKE UP

AND TACO UP.

ONE ENTIRE DOSE OF THE POTION

GOES INTO OUR MEAT MIXTURE,

AND STIR THAT IN
TO THOROUGHLY COMBINE

AND DISTRIBUTE THE CORN STARCH.

THEN 2/3 OF A CUP
OF GOOD BEEF BROTH

JOINS THE PARTY.

ALL RIGHT,
BRING THIS TO A SIMMER,

AND COOK UNCOVERED
FOR TWO TO THREE MINUTES,

SO THAT THE CORNSTARCH
HAS TIME TO GELATINIZE

AND THICKEN SLIGHTLY.

THAT'S GONNA HELP
TO HOLD THINGS TOGETHER

WHEN THE TACO IS LOADED.

THERE, THAT'S ABOUT AS THICK
AS I WANT IT TO GET,

AND IT'LL THICKEN
A LITTLE MORE AS IT COOLS DOWN.

IF YOU WANT TO HOLD THE MEAT
FOR SERVICE,

SAY, ON YOUR SWEET TACO TRUCK,

UM, A SLOW COOKER SET TO LOW
WILL CERTAINLY DO THE TRICK.

NOW WHEN IT COMES TO BUILDING,
LETTUCE AND TOMATOES

ARE CERTAINLY THE TRADITIONALLY
ACCEPTED TOPPINGS.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?
I ROLL SIMPLE.

SO I'M JUST GOING TO ADD
A LITTLE MEAT TO MY SHELL,

A FEW PICKLED JALAPEñOS
FOR SPICE,

AND A LITTLE CHEESE.
(record needle scratches)

WHAT'S THIS? CHEDDAR!

WE DON'T NEED NO STINKIN'
CHEDDAR. CHEDDAR'S ENGLISH.

THAT MEANS THAT SANDWICH GUY'S
AROUND HERE SOMEPLACE.

CURSE YOU, SANDWICH!
OOH!

THE WAY I LOOK AT IT, IF YOU'RE
GOING TO ASSIMILATE A CULTURE,

YOU SHOULD AT LEAST
EAT THEIR CHEESE.

MEXICAN QUESOS CAN BE FILED

INTO ONE OF FOUR CATEGORIES--

FRESH, MELTING CHEESES,
AGED AND CREAMS.

NOW MOST FOLKS, UH,
HERE IN THE U.S.

ARE FAMILIAR, UH,
WITH THE FRESH QUESOS--

QUESO FRESCA
AND QUESO BLANCO,

BUT MY PREFERRED
CRUMBLING CHEESE FOR TACOS

IS PANELA, ALL RIGHT,

AND IT'S EASILY IDENTIFIED
BY ITS OUTER RELIEF--

A SHOUT OUT, OR RATHER,
A SHOUT BACK TO ITS ORIGINS

AS A GREEK BASKET CHEESE.

NOW THIS IS A COW'S MILK CHEESE,

AND THE REASON I LIKE IT
ON TACOS IS THAT

UNLESS YOU HIT IT
WITH A FLAME THROWER,

IT ABSOLUTELY,
POSITIVELY WILL NOT MELT.

THERE, THAT'S MORE LIKE IT.

NOW ONE TACO CANNOT MAKE UP
FOR DECADES

OF FAST FOOD MEDIOCRITY,
BUT IT'S A START.

MMM.

NOW FOR SOMETHING
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

ENSENADA, MEXICO,
HAS BEEN THE CULINARY EPICENTER

OF THE FISH TACO WORLD
SINCE THE TURN OF THE CENTURY,

BUT IN THE EARLY '80s,
IT HEADED NORTH

AND ANNEXED
TO SAN DIEGO, CALIFORNIA,

WHERE IT CURRENTLY SERVES

AS THAT CITY'S
UNOFFICIALLY OFFICIAL DISH.

NOW AS MEXICAN RESTAURANTS
AROUND THE COUNTRY

HAVE THOUGHT TO MAKE
TACOS DE PESCADO THEIR OWN,

TERRIBLE MUTATIONS
HAVE BEEN DESIGNED.

LISTEN TO THIS ONE--

UH, DEEP FRIED SALMON,
JALAPEñO SLAW, SOUR CREAM

ON SOFT CORN TORTILLA
WITH CAPER SALSA.

WELL, IF YOU ASK ME,

ONE WORD OF THAT DESCRIPTION
SOUNDS RIGHT--

"SOFT."

BUT WE CAN REPAIR
THE DAMAGE.

FIRST, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO MAKE SOME TORTILLAS.

TAKE 9 OUNCES
OF ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR BY WEIGHT--

IT'S ABOUT 2 CUPS--
FOR A SPIN

ALONG WITH A TEASPOON
OF KOSHER SALT.

AND THEN PULSE IN

1/3 CUP OF LARD.

(dramatic music plays)
WHAT?

(footsteps retreating)
WHERE YOU GOING?

LOOK, I REALIZE THAT
IN MODERN AMERICAN VERNACULAR,

THE WORD "LARD" IS OFTEN
FOLLOWED BY "BOTTOM," OR WORSE,

BUT THE TRUTH IS LARD
IS ALMOST CERTAINLY

BETTER FOR YOU
THAN YOU THINK.

I MEAN, CONSIDER THIS,
ALL RIGHT?

BUTTER--
60% SATURATED FAT.

LARD--40%.

BUTTER,
ONLY 23% MONOUNSATURATED FAT--

THAT'S THE GOOD STUFF--
LARD--45%.

AND AS FOR THE DREADED
TRANS FATS, YES,

SOME COMMERCIAL LARDS
ARE SLIGHTLY HYDROGENATED.

THAT IS, THEY HAVE HYDROGEN
ADDED TO THEM

FOR SHELF STABILITY,
BUT THE GOOD STUFF,

LIKE THIS,
WHICH I RENDERED MYSELF

FROM THE LUSCIOUS AND LOVELY FAT
OF A TAMWORTH PIG,

IS COMPLETELY FREE
OF TRANS FATS.

ANOTHER REASON FOR USING LARD
IN ANY FORM IN TORTILLAS

IS THAT IT IS
ABSOLUTELY AUTHENTIC,

AND THAT IS GOOD ENOUGH
FOR ME.

♪♪♪

ALL RIGHT, BREAK YOUR LARD
INTO CHUNKS,

AND THEN, UH, PULSE
10 TO 15 TIMES,

UNTIL YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING
THAT LOOKS LIKE COARSE CRUMBS,

JUST LIKE A, UH, PIE DOUGH.

THEN GO AHEAD
AND LET THE MACHINE RUN

WHILE YOU DRIZZLE IN
1/2 CUP OF COOL WATER.

NOW JUST SPIN THAT UNTIL
KIND OF A BIG STICKY MASS

COMES TOGETHER,
JUST LIKE THAT.

GOOD.

THEN DUST YOUR, UH, WORK COUNTER
WITH 1/4 CUP ALL-PURPOSE FLOUR,

DUMP ON THE DOUGH AND KNEAD IT
FOR ABOUT A MINUTE,

ALLOWING THE DOUGH TO TAKE IN
ALL THE FLOUR IT WANTS.

DON'T TRY TO FORCE IT ALL,
OR THE DOUGH MAY GET HARD,

AND THAT WON'T BE GOOD.

THIS LOOKS JUST RIGHT.

COVER WITH PLASTIC WRAP,

AND PARK AT ROOM TEMP
FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR.

AN AUTHENTIC BAJA FISH TACO

IS COMPOSED OF BITS AND PIECES
OF WHATEVER FISH

ARE BEING PULLED FROM
THE COASTAL WATERS OFF BAJA

ON ANY GIVEN DAY.

BUT REALLY, ANY LIGHT-FLESHED
THIN CRITTER WILL DO,

SUCH AS MEMBERS
OF THE SNAPPER FAMILY,

COD, BASS, UH, WAHOO,
MACKEREL, EVEN,

OR MY PERSONAL FAVORITE--
TILAPIA,

WHICH IS ACTUALLY
A FRESHWATER FISH

OF AFRICAN EXTRACTION,

WHICH MEANS IT'S ABOUT
AS INAUTHENTIC

TO TACOS AS YOU CAN GET.

BUT I LIKE TILAPIA,
BECAUSE IT IS CHEAP,

EASY TO WORK WITH,
A NICE SIZE,

AND IT'S CONSIDERED SUSTAINABLE
DUE TO ITS ABILITY TO THRIVE

IN THE AQUA CULTURAL ENVIRONMENT
ON VEGETARIAN FEED.

NOW ITS MILD FLAVOR
DOES GARNER SNEERS

FROM SOME FISH SNOBS WHO SAY

IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN.

I'M NOT SURE THAT BEING DUBBED
CHICKEN OF THE SEA

IS ALTOGETHER A BAD THING,

SINCE WE'RE GOING
TO HEAVILY MARINATE IT ANYWAY.

SO I'M GOING TO TAKE
A POUND OF FILLETS--

MR. BROWN, WE'VE BEEN
THROUGH THIS BEFORE--

THE COUNTER IS NOT
SELF-SERVICE, OKAY?

BUSTED BY BENJAMIN BUNNY.

COAT!

TILAPIA IS A FINE FISH,

BUT A LITTLE ON THE MILD SIDE
FOR ME,

SO LET US NOW CONCOCT
SOME FLAVOR AUGMENTATION.

BREAK OUT
EITHER A MINI FOOD PROCESSOR,

OR IF YOUR LARGE
FOOD PROCESSOR, UH,

CAME WITH A SMALLER INSET
WORK HOLE, GO WITH THAT.

NOW LOAD IN THREE CLOVES
OF GARLIC,

ABOUT, UH, A CUP

OF PACKED CILANTRO LEAVES,

THE ZEST OF TWO LIMES,

2 TEASPOONS OF CUMIN,

LET'S SAY,

A TEASPOON AND A HALF
OF KOSHER SALT

AND A TEASPOON
OF BLACK PEPPER.

YOU'RE GONNA GIVE THAT
ABOUT 20 PULSES,

BECAUSE WE WANT IT CHUNKY,

NOT COMPLETELY SMOOTH.

THEN PULSE IN 2 OUNCES--
THAT'S 1/4 OF A CUP--

OF TEQUILA.

I KEEP A REPOSADO VERSION
IN THE BAR AT ALL TIMES,

AND THAT'S WHAT I SUGGEST
YOU USE HERE AS WELL.

NOW WHEN IT COMES
TO MARINATING,

YOU COULD DO THIS
IN A BAKING DISH,

BUT I LIKE A BIG ZIP-TOP BAG.

JUST PLACE THE FISH INSIDE,
DUMP IN THE TASTY GREEN GOO,

SEAL THE BAG AND KIND OF,
YOU KNOW, MIX THINGS UP

JUST TO MAKE SURE
YOU'VE GOT GOOD COVERAGE.

THERE.
JUST GONNA ROLL THAT UP

AND LET IT SIT
FOR 15 TO 20 MINUTES.

NOW AS FOR THE TORTILLAS, UH,

WE NEED TO BREAK THIS DOWN
INTO EIGHT PIECES, ROUGHLY,

AND I THINK IT'S A LOT EASIER

IF YOU KIND OF ROLL IT
INTO A LOG--IT'S KIND OF FUN.

THERE, JUST SPLIT THAT IN HALF,
LINE IT UP, SPLIT IN HALF,

AND REPEAT UNTIL YOU'VE GOT
EIGHT BALLS.

AGAIN, THEY DON'T HAVE
TO BE PERFECT.

THERE.

NOW TO ROLL EACH ONE,

KIND OF, UH,
FORM IT INTO A BALL,

AND THEN MASH IT OUT FLAT
INTO A DISC, JUST BY HAND.

THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO USE
SOME KIND OF ROLLING DEVICE,

A ROLLING PIN
OR A 1-INCH DOWEL

FROM THE HARDWARE STORE
WILL BE FINE.

I THINK THIS ONE STARTED LIFE
AS A BROOM HANDLE, ACTUALLY.

AND I'M LOOKING, UH,
TO BRING THAT TO ABOUT 7 INCHES

IN DIAMETER--A LITTLE MORE,
A LITTLE LESS, WOULD BE OKAY.

THEN, UH, STACK THEM UP
IN A TEA TOWEL AS YOU GO.

THAT'LL KEEP THEM SEPARATED.

YOU DON'T WANT 'EM
TO STICK TOGETHER. THERE.

NOW ONCE YOU'VE GOT, UH,
EVERYTHING ROLLED OUT,

TIME TO COOK.

I LIKE JUST
AN ELECTRIC GRIDDLE FOR THIS--

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN
350 AND 375,

UH, DOESN'T REALLY MATTER--
ANYWHERE IN THAT RANGE,

AND YOU DO NOT NEED TO ADD
ANY FAT TO THAT, OKAY?

ESPECIALLY IF
IT'S A NONSTICK GRIDDLE,

'CAUSE THERE'S PLENTY OF FAT
ALREADY IN THE TORTILLAS.

I'LL LET THEM COOK ABOUT
FOUR MINUTES PER SIDE.

THEY ARE GOING TO BLISTER SOME.
THAT'S FINE.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. THAT'LL
COLLAPSE WHEN WE FLIP THEM.

WHEN YOU'VE GOT
A LITTLE BROWN,

ROLL THEM OVER AND, UH,
COOK FOR ANOTHER FEW MINUTES,

OR UNTIL, UH, THEY LOOK LIKE
THEY ARE EQUALLY DONE.

NOW I LIKE TO KEEP AN ELECTRIC
HEATING PAD ON MEDIUM,

UH, COVERED WITH JUST
A BARELY DAMP TEA TOWEL

FOR STORAGE AS I GO.

THAT'LL KEEP THEM
NICE AND MOIST,

'CAUSE THEY WILL GET CRUNCHY
IF YOU LET 'EM SIT AROUND

AT ROOM TEMP TOO LONG.

THERE, THAT LOOKS PERFECT.

I'LL KEEP THOSE COVERED.

FLOUR TORTILLAS
FREEZE WELL, TOO.

JUST GRIDDLE THEM,
COOL THEM AND, UH,

PLACE A PIECE OF PARCHMENT
BETWEEN EACH,

AND SEAL IN A FREEZER BAG.

AN AIR-TIGHT SEAL IS CRITICAL,

BECAUSE LARD
IS MOSTLY UNSATURATED FAT,

AND IS THEREFORE, UH,

LIKE VELCRO FOR STINKINESS

AND FLAVORS THAT MIGHT BE
FLOATING AROUND DOWN THERE.

♪♪♪

NOW THE GRIDDLE IS STILL
AT 375,

WHICH IS PERFECT FOR THE FISH,
SO I'M JUST GONNA LUBE THAT UP

WITH A TABLESPOON OF OLIVE OIL--

THAT'LL ENHANCE THE BROWNING--
AND JUST LAY ON THE FISH.

GONNA COOK, UH, THREE TO FOUR
MINUTES ON EACH SIDE,

OR UNTIL, UH, THE SURFACE
LOOKS--WELL, JUST LIKE THAT.

THAT'S GOLDEN BROWN
AND DELICIOUS.

FLIP THE PIECES, COOK ANOTHER
THREE TO FOUR MINUTES,

AND IN THE MEANTIME, LET'S
CONTEMPLATE MY SECRET SAUCE.

THE GOOEY CONTENTS
OF THIS HUMBLE SQUEEZER

MAY APPEAR TO BE SOUR CREAM,
BUT IT'S NOT.

IT'S CREMA, A SLIGHTLY FERMENTED
VERSION OF CREAM

AKIN TO CRèME FRAîCHE,
ONLY WITH A PUNCH.

WHERE DO YOU BUY IT?
YOU DON'T. YOU MAKE IT.

JUST, UH, PLACE A CUP
OF HEAVY CREAM IN A GLASS JAR,

AND MICROWAVE IT UNTIL IT HITS
JUST UNDER 100 DEGREES--

ANYWHERE FROM 30 SECONDS
TO 2 MINUTES,

DEPENDING ON YOUR MICROWAVE.

WHEN YOU ARE CERTAIN OF YOUR
THERMAL DESTINATION, AS I AM,

ADD 1 TABLESPOON
OF BUTTERMILK,

OKAY, THEN APPLY THE LID
AND GIVE IT A GOOD SHAKE

BEFORE PARKING IT
IN A WARM SPOT

FOR ONE TO TWO DAYS.

AFTER THAT TIME,
DON'T BE SHOCKED TO SEE THIS--

IT'LL BE CURDLED
ALMOST LIKE YOGURT. THAT'S GOOD.

NOW ADD ONE CHIPOTLE CHILE--

THE KIND THAT ARE PACKED
IN ADOBO SAUCE--

UH, 1/4 TEASPOON
OF KOSHER SALT,

AND THEN HIT IT
WITH YOUR STICK BLENDER,

PROCESS UNTIL THE CONSISTENCY
OF HEAVY CREAM

AND CHILL.

AS A FINISHING TOUCH--
IRREPLACEABLE.

NOW WHEN YOU REMOVE THE TILAPIA
FROM THE GRIDDLE,

DON'T BE SHOCKED
IF IT FALLS APART A LITTLE.

THAT'S JUST THE WAY
THE TILAPIA IS.

LOOKS GOOD.

AND NOW WE ASSEMBLE
TACO NUMBER TWO.

ALL RIGHT, A FLOUR TORTILLA,

A LITTLE SQUIRT OF CREMA

TO ACT AS A GLUE
TO HOLD THE FISH ON,

WHICH, YOU CAN SEE,
I HAVE CUT INTO STRIPS.

AFTER THAT, WE'LL PUT ON
A LITTLE BIT OF CABBAGE,

WHICH IS NICE, AND SOME
LIME JUICE FOR ACIDITY,

AND OF COURSE,
A LITTLE MORE CREMA.

THAT'S GOING TO BE IT.

I'M A SIMPLE MAN
WITH SIMPLE TASTE,

AND I DON'T LIKE MY TACOS
PILED UP LIKE SOMEBODY,

YOU KNOW, DROPPED A SALAD BAR
OUT OF THE SKY.

WELL, I HOPE THAT
WE'VE INSPIRED YOU

TO TAKE TACOS
INTO YOUR OWN HANDS.

NOT ONLY ARE THEY VERSATILE,

FUN, NUTRITIOUS AND DELICIOUS,

THEY CAN BEAT THE BREAD
OFF OF ANY SANDWICH I KNOW.

THERE YOU GO, FANCY PANTS,

WHY DON'T YOU TRY
A REAL "SANDWICH"?

LIKE...

SO MANY OTHER DISHES
THAT WE HOLD NEAR AND DEAR,

FROM CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS
TO HOT DOGS TO APPLE PIE,

THE TACO MAY HAVE BEEN BORN
INTO A VERY DIFFERENT CULTURE,

BUT DON'T THINK FOR A MOMENT

THAT THEY DON'T QUALIFY AS...

GOOD EATS.

UNTIL NEXT TIME,
ADIOS, AMIGOS.