Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 14, Episode 20 - Roll Call - full transcript

Hi, I'm Alton Brown.

And after years
of tireless research,

I've come to the conclusion

that the maelstrom of mediocrity

in which our culture currently
finds itself

spastically spinning,

was set into motion by an event

that took place right here
at the very epicenter

of our civilization --
the dinner table.

And furthermore, I propose

that the straw
that broke the camel's back



was, in fact,
a particular edible.

And I imagine the scene
was something like this.

[ Clears throat ]

"Hey, Sis, give me a roll!"

"Hey, careful there, Sport.

Don't forget your manners."

"Okay, Dad.

Please pass a roll."

"Gee, Ricky,
I don't even see any rolls."

"Hey, say, honey,
where are the rolls?"

"I didn't bake any today."

"Aw, mom."

"Gee, Hon, what gives?"

"Well, since you got
your hours cut,



I had to get a job.

So I barely had enough time

to get dinner on the table.

So if you guys want rolls,

you can jolly well
learn to make them yourself."

"Oh.

Who's for going out?"

"Yeah!"

Once the soft,
aromatic, warm, yeasty,

ever so slightly sweet,

edible hug
that is the dinner roll

disappeared
from the American table,

our civilization
began to quietly crumble.

Is it too late
to get our hug back?

Maybe not.

But, we're all going to
have to bake tall,

and answer the roll call of...

♪♪

Good Eats!

♪♪

Each and every culture
that bakes,

bakes small breads.

And some of the cultures
in question

bake hundreds of different types
of small breads.

In America, such breads
became known as rolls,

because you typically
rolled the dough to shape it.

Now, a hundred years ago,
rolls were considered fast food

because they were
so much quicker to make

than larger loaves,

which typically require
a long rise and baking time.

It's a fact
which can easily be grasped

by these comparative
illustrations

Now just to be clear,

rolls are differentiated
from muffins and biscuits

by virtue of yeast,

which are responsible

for lifting
all rolls and buns,

which are nothing
more than sweetened rolls.

Unless you're talking
about hamburger buns --

but that's another show.

Now as is the case
with big breads,

all rolls fit into
one of two categories --

"lean" and "rich."

Get down.

Now while our cultural
forefathers, the English,

tended towards
lean, hard rolls,

here in America,

the influence
of Germanic cultures

steered our rolls

towards the rich-side
of the spectrum

by introducing milk, butter
and a bit of sugar

to the equation.

Behold, the fantastic four
of bread-dom --

flour, water, yeast, salt.

Without them,
bread just ain't bread.

Now the starch
and protein of the flour

provide for bread's structure.

And it should be noted
that unless you're making

really crusty, rustic loaves,

bread flour
with it's added protein content

just isn't necessary.

All-purpose or "A-P" flour
will do us just fine.

And then there's the water

which hydrates
the flour components

and provides the moisture
the yeast need

in order to break down

and consume the flour,
thus producing CO2.

Um, look, yeast --

um, look, we -- we --
we need to talk.

Um, I know you've been
portraying yeast for --

for a long time on this show.

But frankly,
we've had some complaints.

You see, you guys don't even
look remotely like real yeast.

I mean, you've got eyes
and mouths

and whatever those things
are on your heads.

And, well, we've been asked
to come up with

something more life-like.

And so, we're going
to be going with, uh...

these.
[ Record scratches ]

[ Yeast groans ]

Yeah, I know.
It's hard for me, too.

But...

I have to let you guys go.

[ All whimpering ]

No. No severance.

But I will provide excellent
references for all of you.

I will.

I will.

[ All speaking indistinctly ]

Good luck.

Bye.

Now as I was saying,
the yeast will,

in the presence of water
and warmth and food,

come to life

producing a lot more yeast

while giving off CO2
in the process.

CO2 in the process.

Speaking of yeast,

many recipes these days

call for RapidRise,
or instant yeast.

And in past episodes

I, myself,
have extolled their virtues

because they are
super-charged microbes.

They ferment quicker than
standard active dry yeast

because the granules actually
contain more living yeast,

and they are packed
with stimulants

such as vitamin C.

And yet, I have found

that with proper treatment,

active dry yeasts
are just as good.

And when both sugar and fat
are added to the mixture,

I actually think they do
an even better job.

More on that in a minute.

Now, uh...

Oh, let's talk about salt.

A lot of writers
these days

are fond of saying
that it's optional.

But in bread making,
that is simply not the case.

Without at least
a little salt,

bread tastes...
dead, unpalatable,

no matter how much butter
you smear onto it.

Salt also strengthens gluten,
which we'll get to shortly.

And it also
helps to prevent staling.

Of course, I do prefer
to use kosher salt in baking,

but you could use
sea salt, course salt,

or even regular table salt
if you are so inclined.

So, this humble quartet

can certainly yield
some satisfying lean rolls.

But if we're going
to produce the edible hug

that is the American
soft dinner roll,

we have to bring
some modifiers online.

Milk, butter, sugar

and eggs can enhance
both flavor and texture.

Sugars, including sucrose
and lactose from the milk,

caramelize to create
complex flavors.

Sugar is also hygroscopic,

so it clings to water
tenaciously

preventing the final bread
from drying out.

Fat in the form
of butter and egg yolks

also lubricates
gluten structures

and adds considerable flavor.

Egg yolks
also contain emulsifiers

which can which help
to integrate fat

into the dough itself.

Best of all,

we don't really need
a lot of any of these

to affect big changes.

♪♪

Having considered the software,

we now turn to
our method of assembly.

Now these steps comprise

what is called
the "Straight Dough Method."

We have mix, rest,
knead, rise, punch down,

shape, proof, bake, and cool.

I've adjusted this list

so that it better
represents the actions

that we will be
undertaking here --

integrate, hydrate,

integrate part two,
stretch and align,

double, redistribute,
portion, configure,

double, bake, cure.

It's a tough list to memorize.

Which is why I penned
this handy mnemonic phrase,

"I have imagined seeing

a demented, rabid platypus

carelessly drinking
blue cocktails."

Now that's not something

you're likely to forget
anytime soon.

Our dough begins
with eight ounces of whole milk

heated to 100 degrees Fahrenheit

in the work bowl
of your stand mixer,

followed by 1/3 cup of sugar,

a tablespoon
plus a teaspoon of yeast,

two egg yolks,

then 15 ounces, by weight,
of all-purpose flour.

Last, but not least,
2 1/2 teaspoons of salt.

Go ahead
and fit that to the mixer

and work with
the paddle attachment --

that's important --

for about a minute

or until the dough
just comes together.

Low speed is all you'll need.

There.

Brilliant.

Now that the first, or alpha,
integration is complete,

we will move
to the hydration phase.

We've got to change the paddle
for the dough hook.

So just go ahead
and pull that off.

I find that a powder-free
latex exam glove

from the drug store
is ideal for the job.

Of course, if you have
a latex allergy issue,

you should use vinyl.

Works just as well.

Now the hydration part
of the program

is going to last
10 to 15 minutes,

and it's important
for several reasons.

One, it will give the flour time
to soak up some moisture,

making the dough
easier to knead later on.

Two, it will allow time

for the proteins
glutenin and gliadin

to come together to form

the all-important
gluten structures.

And as for the yeast...

...this will give
the little critter

plenty of time to wake up
and spring into action.

Realistic?

Maybe.

Boring?
Definitely.

Well, it's been 10 minutes

and, hey, we've made progress.

Good thing, too,
because I was starting to think

my spore was on death's door.

[ Laughs ]

Time for the second
or beta integration.

Turn the mixer to low,

and work in two ounces
of room temperature butter

cut into, just like,
four pieces.

Now you may ask,
"Why do this now?"

Simple, because fat interrupts
gluten formation,

and we need us some gluten.

By holding off with the butter,

we've given the gluten
a head start.

Okay, when the dough
looks like that,

boost the speed to medium

and work it for eight minutes,

not one second more or less,
if you please.

Now in
the Straight Dough procedure,

this phase of the operation
is referred to as "kneading".

But in the, well,
"Rule of the Rabid Platypus",

it is stretching and aligning,

because during this time,

the gluten strands
created during hydration

are stretched and aligned
so that they may form sheets

capable of capturing...

the yeast's
effervescent effluvium.

Bring it down. Bring it down.
Bring it down. Listen.

[ Yeast murmuring ]

Oh, bother.

All right, if our
stretching and alignment

has been successful,

then we should be able

to get a good "window pane"
out of this.

Just take the dough,

kind of stretch it
between your fingers

the way you --
well, kind of the way

that you would work bubble gum
with your tongue

right before
blowing a big bubble.

Kind of like that --
stretching, pulling and turning.

There.

That's what good development
looks like right there.

Perfect.
This is done.

So we evacuate the work bowl

and move to the countertop.

It's just lightly dusted
with flour.

Too much flour
and the dough will take it in

and get dried out.

Just mash it down and then kind
of fold it under itself

to create a smooth skin.

There. Then roll that
between your hands

just long enough
to kind of create a ball

and then move that
to a straight-sided,

cylindrical vessel
such as this --

clear,
makes viewing easier,

and the rubber band
helps you to remember

where the dough started
before doubling.

Into a warm spot --

78 degrees would be ideal
for an hour

or until the dough
has indeed doubled in size.

One of the really groovy things
about roll dough,

is that it can be crafted

into a wide array
of shapes and sizes.

These include,
but are not limited to,

pan loaves, spirals, twists,

knots, cloverleaves,
and butter flakes,

which, of course,
are cooked in muffin tins.

And then, there is the naughty
Parker House roll.

Named for
Boston's Parker House Hotel

where it was invented
in the late 19th century,

this is the quintessential,
American dinner roll,

easily recognized
by it's folded top,

which conceals
a little pat of butter,

hence the "naughty".

Now I especially enjoy
Parker House rolls

around Halloween,

because it can be used

to complete
your Angelina Jolie getup...

...or your incredible
Mr. Limpet look....

Remember Mr. Limpet?
You --

Man, I feel old.

♪♪

All right,
let's see what we got here.

Hey, I guess
they weren't dead after all.

Huh.
Oh, well.

I'll just leave them here,
I guess, and then --

Well, get in the --

[ Scoffs ] Oh, bother.

There.

Well clearly,
we have made it through,

"I have imagined
seeing a demented"

as clearly
the dough has doubled.

It's now time for "Rabid" --

that is redistribute.

A lot
of Straight Dough procedures

refer to this as
"punching down" the dough.

Number one, I don't think

that's a fair explanation
of what's going on,

and number two, we all know
that food doesn't like violence.

There.
Redistribution is complete.

We now move to "Platypus."

Time for platypus
which of course stands --

[ Platypus call ]

Yeah -- which, of course,
stands for "portion."

Now, use your trusty dough blade
or bench scraper,

whichever you prefer to call it,

and bifurcate the log.

And continue bifurcating

until you've reached
the magic number of 16.

Okay, now we're done
with portioning,

which is "platypus," and --
[ Platypus calls ]

and now we move to "Carelessly"
which is for "configure."

Now the configuration is
actually a two-phase process.

First, we're going
to create balls, dough balls.

So we need a smooth exterior,
okay?

So press down each piece
into a disk,

and then fold in on itself.

And then kind
of make an "okay" sign

with the fingers of one hand

and push the ball
through with the other.

And just pinch the bottom,

place seam-side-down
on the counter,

and then roll
with an open hand like that,

just to kind of tighten
that skin up a bit.

Okay, now the Parker House part.

Take each of these little balls

and we're going to roll
into a three-inch circle,

or an oval would be fine,
as well.

Now you could use
a full-sized rolling pin

for the chore,

but I find that
a small 7/8-inch dowel

does the trick even better.

Just roll it out.

And yes, I do suggest
you measure each one.

There.

Now take your dowel
or the side of your hand

and press down making a dent,

either right in the middle

or just off to the side
a little.

It's completely
a personal preference.

But, I like it
right in the middle.

And then place
one small pat of butter --

little bitty kind of nugget --

right here.

Fold over
and lightly seal like that.

And I like to put these
back onto the pan

with the crimp side down.

Next, we hit them
with a little butter,

liberally, in fact.

Now the butter,
besides tasting great,

will also help to keep
the plastic wrap

from sticking
during the process.

How long will this take?

Well, it depends on
room temperature.

But I would expect
30 to 40 minutes

for the rolls
to actually double once again.

And that is our goal.

[ Sighs ]

When you are
about 15 minutes out,

set your oven for 400 degrees

and put a rack in the middle.

Ah, these things
are starting to creep me out.

All right, the rolls have
obviously doubled in volume.

All right, into the oven.

These are probably
going to take 10 minutes,

but I would start
checking at eight.

And if your oven has any
uneven behavior in it's history,

spin the pan
halfway through the process.

These look fantastic.

But ultimately,
doneness can only be determined

by your thermometer --

200 degrees.
We are good to go.

Although rolls
are indeed served warm,

I still believe in allowing them
time for a post bake cure, okay?

That is, of course,

the "Cocktail" part
of the saying.

During this time,

the starches
will begin to firm up

and excess moisture
will steam out.

The process is actually
a preamble to staling.

But with this much fat
and, of course, sugar,

staling will take place
very, very slowly, indeed.

Serve in a basket

swaddled in
a clean linen serviette --

[ Scoffs ]

...or tea towel
to prevent condensation

while preserving warmth.

You know,
I think old Harvey Parker

would be darned proud.
Roll?

Roll? No?

Roll? Roll? Nobody?

Nobody? Fine.

You know, when I was a kid,

I had an aunt
who made butter flake rolls

which, I think, are even easier
to configure.

So, let's consider
the very same dough

after the first doubling.

Instead of rolling
and portioning,

you would roll out
into a 12-by-12-inch square.

That's close enough.

This you would liberally lube

with about
a tablespoon of butter.

[ Groans ] Then get your
favorite pizza cutter --

I can't believe these things --

And split that dough
right down the middle.

Then each of those halves,
you will cut into thirds

and then each of those in half

until you've got
12 equal strips,

or close to equal.

Stack these into two stacks.

That's six pieces
for each stack.

Try not to stretch them.

Then lay those over
on their side,

squeeze slightly together,

and then cut
into two-inch chunks

with your pizza cutter.

These you'll move
directly to the cups

of a lightly lubed muffin tin,
just like that.

Don't push down.

Cover with plastic,

and again, bench rest
for about half an hour

or until doubled in volume.

Bake in a 400 degree oven,

again, for eight to ten minutes,

or until an internal temperature
of 200 degrees is attained.

Cure briefly, and then
server to a grateful world.

Roll? Roll? Anyone?

Roll? No? Fine.

All this wonderment
made possible

by a simple phrase,

"I have imagined seeing
a demented rabid platypus

carelessly drinking
blue cocktails."

And that's a fact.

♪♪

The place, Avon, Florida.

The time, 1949.

A baker by the name
of Joseph Gregor

had just parked a pan of
Parker House rolls into the oven

when the town fire alarm
sounded.

[ Fire alarm rings ]

Being a member of
the volunteer fire brigade,

Gregor had no choice
but to pull and abandon

his still pasty rolls.

Upon their sooty return
some hours later...

...Gregor decided to go ahead
and bake the rolls once again.

The results?

Delicious enough
that his pop-in-oven rolls

were eventually purchased
by General Mills

for a big bucket of money.

Well, our brown 'n' serve
Parker House Rolls

are just as good.

Here, we have a pan
of our Parker House rolls.

They've been buttered,

they're doubled,
and ready to bake.

Now the butter is especially
important here, okay?

Because when the rolls
undergo storage later on,

it'll provide a seal

against both oxidation
and moisture loss.

So don't get skimpy
with the butter.

Now, into the oven.

But this time, we're going to
make it 275 degrees.

Bake for 30 minutes

or until the outside of
the rolls just begins to set.

At this point,

the internal temperature
of the rolls

would be about 185 degrees

and the exterior
will be rather pallid,

due to the fact
that the external temperature

has not yet reached
the browning stage.

So at this point,
remove and cool on the pan

on a rack for 10 minutes.

Then remove from the pan
and cool directly on the rack

until they're
at room temperature.

It'll be about 30 to 40 minutes,

in which time I'll clean up

the rest of these darn yeasts.
[ Scoffs ]

When the rolls are cool,
you can bag 'em, tag 'em,

and freeze them for, well,
up to at least three months.

To finish,
thaw for 60 to 90 minutes,

and then park in a 400 degree

for 10 to 12 minutes,

until they are deeply brown

and golden and beautiful

and buttery, soft,
delicious, and yeasty.

Well, I certainly hope
that we've inspired you

to bring back a little
of the dinner table culture

that made America great.

If there --
[ Phone rings ]

Excuse me. I'm sorry.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

[ Phone rings ]

Hello?
-A.B., baby.

D.J. Sid here.

Sid?

Sid Maxberg,
agent to the food stars.

Uh, listen, amigo,

word is out on the street

that you're suffering
from a serious yeast problem.

That is outrageous.

Who told you that?

Well, you know
how this town talks.

[ Laughs ]

I may just have a solution
for you,

but it's going to cost you.

Oh, yes, it's going to cost you!

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No way.

I do not have a yeast problem.

My new yeast are working fine.

They are working out just great

They're --
[ Crashes ]

See you next time
on "Good Eats."