Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 14, Episode 12 - American Classic IX: Pumpkin Pie - full transcript

GREETINGS, AMERICAN COOKS.

IF YOU'RE A FAN OF THIS PROGRAM,
YOU KNOW DARNED WELL

THAT THE BIG, BEAUTIFUL
STAR-SPANGLED BANNER BEHIND ME

SIGNIFIES AN AMERICAN CLASSICS
EPISODE OF "GOOD EATS,"

WHEREIN WE ATTEMPT TO SAVE SOME
POOR, PUT-UPON AMERICAN DISH...
(man crying)

FROM THE MEDIOCRITY
AND OBSCURITY

THAT LIKE A CANCER GROWS

WHEN WE SLACK OFF ON OUR
PATRIOTIC CULINARY DUTY.

THIS PERSONAL FAILING
OF NATIONAL CHARACTER...
(crying continues)

QUITE FRANKLY,
WELL, FROM THE SOUND OF IT,

HAS BROKEN THE HEARTS
OF YOUR FOUNDING FATHERS.



BEHOLD, THOMAS JEFFERSON,
BAWLING LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.

(crying)
I HOPE YOU'RE PROUD
OF YOURSELF.

IT'S LIKE
THEY DON'T EVEN CARE.

AND AFTER
ALL WE DID FOR YOU.

HE DOES THIS ALL THE TIME.
HE'LL BE FINE.
AH.

WELL, TELL ME, MR. FRANKLIN,
PERHAPS YOU COULD HELP ME

BY SPINNING THIS DRUM.
IS--IS THIS A GAME
OF CHANCE OF SOME TYPE?

OF SOME TYPE,
INDEED IT IS.

SO GIVE IT A SPIN, BEN.

NOW AS USUAL, THIS DRUM
HAS BEEN LOADED WITH CARDS,

EACH OF WHICH BEARS THE NAME
OF A CLASSIC DISH

IN SERIOUS NEED OF REVOLUTION
OR, AT THE VERY LEAST,

RENOVATION.

SO LET'S SEE WHAT FATE



HAS DEALT US THIS DAY.

UH-HUH.
AH.

YES, A FAVORITE OF MINE
FROM WAY BACK.

YOU'RE IN LUCK, AMERICA, BECAUSE
TODAY, PATRIOTIC REDEMPTION

COMES ON A PLATE,
A PIE PLATE.

THAT'S RIGHT,
PUMPKIN PIE,

THE MOST AMERICAN
OF DESSERTS.

BUT WHAT ABOUT
APPLE PIE?
ARE YOU KIDDING?

APPLES ARE ORIGINALLY FROM
KAZAKHSTAN, DON'T YA KNOW?

PUMPKINS,
ON THE OTHER HAND,

100% NORTH AMERICAN.

PROBLEM IS, LIKE SO MUCH
EDIBLE AMERICANA,

WE'VE ALLOWED CONVENIENCE
TO SUPPLANT FLAVOR.

99.9% OF PUMPKIN PIES
PRODUCED IN THIS COUNTRY

COME FROM A CAN.

AND WE ALL KNOW,
CANS AREN'T AMERICAN.

THEY'RE FRENCH.
BUT I LIKE FRANCE.

GO STRUM YOUR FIDDLE.

LET THE MAN
GET ON WITH HIS...

THE WORD "PUMPKIN" WAS MORPHED
BY EARLY AMERICAN COLONISTS

FROM THE ENGLISH POMPION,

WHICH WAS ITSELF AN ADAPTATION
OF THE FRENCH POMPOM,

WHICH CAME FROM THE GREEK PEPON,
MEANING LARGE MELON,

WHICH MAKES SENSE, SINCE
PUMPKINS, SQUASH, AND MELONS

ARE ALL MEMBERS
OF THE CUCURBIT FAMILY,

AND AS SUCH, ARE FRUITS,

THAT IS A FLESH-ENCASED SEED
PACKETS BORN OF FLOWERS.

PUMPKINS ARE HIGHLY NUTRITIOUS,

AND DUE TO THEIR MEATY FLESH
AND TOUGH SKIN, LONG-KEEPING,

WHICH IS WHY THEY WERE
VALUABLE WINTER STAPLES.

IN FACT, UM, ONCE LOCAL NATIVES
TAUGHT THE SETTLERS

TO GROW PUMPKINS,

GOVERNOR BRADFORD
OF THE PLYMOUTH COLONY

ORDERED THE SETTLERS TO GROW
THEM TO OVERT STARVATION.

SO CRUCIAL WERE PUMPKINS TO LIFE

THAT ONE PILGRIM
PENNED THESE LINES--

"FOR POTTAGE AND PUDDINGS
AND CUSTARDS AND PIES,

"OUR PARSNIPS AND PUMPKINS
ARE COMMON SUPPLIES.

"PUMPKINS AT MORNING
AND PUMPKINS AT NOON,

IF IT WERE NOT FOR PUMPKINS,
WE SHOULD BE UNDOON."

(record needle scratches)

UNDOON?

I'D WORK ON THAT
IF I WERE YOU.

(clears throat) THERE ARE MANY
DIFFERENT VARIETIES OF PUMPKINS,

YET OF THE MILLIONS
GROWN IN THE U.S. EACH YEAR,

MOST AREN'T WORTH EATING.

THAT'S BECAUSE
AS SOON AS AMERICANS

TRADED IN THEIR ROOT CELLARS
FOR REFRIGERATORS,

THESE BIG OLD NUTRITION BOMBS
WERE RELEGATED

TO NONCULINARY DUTIES,

INCLUDING,
BUT NOT LIMITED TO,

ACCESSORIZING
HEADLESS HORSEMEN--

THAT'S A GOOD LOOK--

TRANSPORTATION UNITS,

BUT ONLY UNTIL MIDNIGHT,

AND OF COURSE,
DOMESTIC CONFINEMENT.

OBVIOUSLY,
PETER PUMPKIN EATER

WAS IN TO GROWING
GIANT PUMPKINS,

A POPULAR COMPETITION
AT STATE FAIRS THESE DAYS.

AND SPEAKING OF COMPETITIONS, IF
YOU HAVE A FEW SPARE PUMPKINS,

AND MAYBE A SIEGE ENGINE,
LIKE A, YOU KNOW,

A TREBUCHET OR A CATAPULT
OR AN AIR CANNON,

YOU MIGHT WANT TO ENTER
INTO A LOCAL

PUNKIN CHUNKIN COMPETITION.

(little girl) INCOMING!
(screaming)

OH, YEAH, THAT'S GONNA BE...

UM, YOU MIGHT, UH, BE CAREFUL
ABOUT YOUR AIM, THOUGH.

OF COURSE,
MOST PUMPKINS THESE DAYS

ARE GROWN NOT FOR THEIR FLAVOR,

BUT RATHER THEIR ABILITY
TO STAND UP TO KNIFE, SAW,

AND CANDLE,

AND ALL FOR ONE NIGHT OF GLORY
IN LATE OCTOBER.

BUT THAT'S ANOTHER SHOW.

AHH.

IF, HOWEVER,
TASTE IS TRULY YOUR GOAL,

I STRONGLY SUGGEST
YOU EITHER GROW OR SEEK OUT

A CLASSIC BAKING PUMPKIN.

NOW THERE ARE DOZENS
OF DIFFERENT VARIETIES,

BUT THREE FLOAT IMMEDIATELY
TO THE TOP OF MY LIST.

SAY HELLO
TO THE BIG OLD DICKINSON.

NOW THIS IS THE PUMPKIN
THAT'S MOST OFTEN FOUND

IN CANS OF PUMPKIN PURéE.

UM, REGRETTABLY, I FIND
THAT THE CANNING PROCESS

IS NOT KIND TO THE DISTINCT
FLAVOR OF THE DICKINSON.

AND LET'S FACE IT,
IT'S KIND OF BIG AND UNRULY

TO WORK WITH AT HOME.

NOW THE JARRAHDALE
IS A REALLY NICE CHOICE.

ITS PALE EXTERIOR CONCEALS
A BRIGHT ORANGE FLESH

WITH A STRONG MELON AROMA--

FROM NEW ZEALAND, OF ALL PLACES.

KIND OF HARD TO FIND,

WHICH LEADS ME TO MY FAVORITE.

THIS IS THE BEAUTIFUL
LITTLE SUGAR PIE PUMPKIN.

ALL RIGHT, IT HAS
A VERY SMOOTH FLESH,

UM, A VERY, UH, HIGH
CONCENTRATION OF SUGAR,

AND ITS SIZE IS PERFECT
FOR THE HOME CULINARIAN.

NOW LET ME SAY THIS.

IF YOU CANNOT FIND
A GOOD BAKING PUMPKIN,

SKIP THE JACK-O'-LANTERNS
ALTOGETHER,

AND GO WITH BUTTERNUT SQUASH--

EASY TO FIND,
ALMOST IDENTICAL IN FLAVOR,

AND EASY TO WORK WITH
IN THE HOME KITCHEN.

OH, AND I SHOULD MENTION
THAT IF STORED

AT AN OPTIMUM 50 TO 60 DEGREES
AT 50% TO 70% HUMIDITY,

MOST PUMPKINS WILL REMAIN
CULINARILY VIABLE

FOR UP TO THREE MONTHS.

IRONICALLY, THE VARY FACTORS
THAT RENDER THE PUMPKIN

SOMETHING OF A SYMBOLIC
ANACHRONISM, UM,

MADE IT DOUBLY VALUABLE
IN THE COLONIAL KITCHEN.

CONSIDER, IF YOU WILL,
THE ONLY OVEN HOUSED

IN THE EARLY AMERICAN HOME.

IT WAS THE HEARTH.

WHAT FEW POTS
THE COOK HAD ACCESS TO

WOULD BE PLACED EITHER
OVER THE FIRE, IN FRONT OF IT,

OR DOWN IN THE DYING EMBERS.

NOW A TRADITIONAL PIE,

THAT IS A CRUST IN A PAN
WITH A FILLING,

WOULD HAVE BEEN, WELL,
PRETTY MUCH IMPOSSIBLE HERE,

BUT KEEP IN MIND THAT THE CRUST
OF MOST EARLY PIES

SERVED ONLY AS A VESSEL.

IT WASN'T TYPICALLY
INTENDED FOR CONSUMPTION.

AND THAT MEANS,
TECHNICALLY SPEAKING,

THE ONLY THING WE NEED TO DO TO
A PUMPKIN TO MAKE IT INTO A PIE

IS FILL IT WITH SOMETHING
AND PARK IT BY THE FIRE.

AND THAT'S EXACTLY
WHAT THE EARLY COLONISTS DID.

ALTHOUGH A PROTO PUMPKIN PIE
COULD BE MADE

SIMPLY BY HOLLOWING THIS GUY OUT
AND FILLING IT WITH, SAY,

CREAM, EGGS, SPICES, AND HONEY,
WHICH SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD,

I ACTUALLY LIKE TO TAKE
A SLIGHTLY MORE SAVORY APPROACH.

BUT EITHER WAY, WE MUST START
WITH A QUICK BATH.

THESE THINGS GROW IN THE DIRT,
YOU KNOW?

♪♪♪

OUR EARLY AMERICAN
PUMPKIN PIE BEGINS

WITH AN OVEN SET TO 375 DEGREES.

NOW AS FOR THE PUMPKIN ITSELF,

WE'VE GOT TO TAKE OFF THE TOP,
KIND OF JACK-O'-LANTERN-STYLE.

WE COULD USE A BONING KNIFE
FOR THE JOB

OR EVEN A STANDARD
SERRATED BLADE.

A LITTLE CLUMSY,
IF YOU ASK ME,

AND THAT'S WHY
I LIKE A WALLBOARD SAW,

WHICH COSTS BETWEEN, I'D SAY,
7 AND 15 BUCKS

AT THE LOCAL HARDWARE STORE.

AND I WOULDN'T WANT TO LIVE
OR COOK WITHOUT IT.

SO INSERT THE BLADE
WITH THE TEETH FACING YOU,

AND KIND OF SPIN THE PUMPKIN
INTO IT AS YOU SAW.

THERE YOU GO,
NICE AND CLEAN.

NOW TIME TO REMOVE
THE INNER SEEDS, THE GUTS,

AND FOR THAT, WE REACH
FOR YET ANOTHER MULTITASKER.

THIS IS AN OLD-FASHIONED
SPADE ICE CREAM SCOOP.

I DON'T THINK IT'S VERY GOOD
FOR SCOOPING ICE CREAM,

TO BE HONEST, BUT IT'S GREAT
FOR TAKING OUT PUMPKIN GUTS.

WHEN YOU FINALLY HAVE
THE SEEDS AND FIBERS OUT,

GRAB DOWN A SOUFFLé
OR A BAKING DISH

LARGE ENOUGH
TO HOLD THE PUMPKIN.

ADD A COUPLE OF TEASPOONS OF
OIL, THEN RUB THE PUMPKIN DOWN.

THAT'S GONNA HELP
TO ENHANCE HEAT ABSORPTION.

NOW THAT THE VESSEL
HAS BEEN PROPERLY PREPPED,

IT IS TIME TO LOAD.

AND REMEMBER, I'M GOING WITH
MORE OF A SAVORY APPROACH HERE,

BUT STILL, TECHNICALLY,
A PUMPKIN PIE IT SHALL BE.

WE BEGIN WITH A TABLESPOON
OF UNSALTED BUTTER,

FOLLOWED BY AROMATICS-- HALF
A SMALL YELLOW ONION, DICED,

ONE CLOVE OF GARLIC, MINCED,

ONE SMALL BAKING
OR COOKING APPLE--

I LIKE BRAEBURNS--
ABOUT 4 OUNCES,

PEELED, CORED, AND DICED,

A TEASPOON OF KOSHER SALT,

A CUP OF LOW-SODIUM
CHICKEN BROTH,

AND 1/2 A CUP OF CREAM.

HEAVY CREAM WOULD BE BEST.

THERE. NOW LID UP.

BAKE FOR ONE AND A HALF HOURS.

NOW THE REALLY GROOVY THING
ABOUT PUMPKINS

IS THAT THE FLESH
CAN ABSORB AND TRANSFER

A SURPRISING AMOUNT OF HEAT
ENERGY TO THE INGREDIENTS WITHIN

WITHOUT LOSING
STRUCTURAL STABILITY.

THE PUMPKIN, THEREFORE,
IS AN EDIBLE COOKING VESSEL,

AND ONE PACKED
WITH HIGH-POWER NUTRITION.

BUT OF COURSE, I DON'T LIKE
TO SPEAK OF SUCH THINGS

AS NUTRITION

WITHOUT CONSULTING A LADY.

I MEAN, OF COURSE,
THE LADY OF THE REFRIGERATOR!

THE--THE LADY OF THE...

A PUMPKIN?

(magical music plays)
(gasps)

COULD IT BE?

OH! I DECLARE, IT IS
THE MISTRESS OF CHILL.

TELL ME, MY LADY, HOW COMETH
THOU INTO SUCH A SQUASH?

WELL, IT SEEMS WHEREVER
THERE IS NUTRITION,

THERE I MUST GO.
WHY A PUMPKIN?

BESIDES THE VEGETABLE PROTEIN
AND THE FIBER,

THE CALCIUM, THE POTASSIUM,
THE REALLY BIG NEWS HERE

ARE THE ALPHA
AND BETA CAROTENES

THAT BREAK DOWN THE SMALL
INTESTINE TO MAKE VITAMIN A.

AH, THAT MEANS, OF COURSE, THAT
BOTH ALPHA AND BETA CAROTENE

ARE WHAT WE CALL VITAMIN A
"PRECURSORS."

TELL US MORE OF THIS
FASCINATING VITAMIN A.

IT KEEPS YOUR SKIN AND YOUR
MUCUS MEMBRANES HEALTHY.

IT'S A POWERFUL
ANTIOXIDANT,

AND IS KNOWN FAR AND WIDE
AS A WRINKLE FIGHTER.

OH, MAYBE I WILL STAY HERE
A LITTLE BIT LONGER.
OH, PASHAW.

A SWEET, YOUNG NYMPH THING
LIKE YOU

DOESN'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT THAT KIND OF THING.
OH, NO,

BUT IT IS ALSO CRITICAL
FOR EYESIGHT,

ESPECIALLY NIGHT VISION.

MY NIGHT VISION
IS SO ACUTE

THAT I COULD PROBABLY CREEP
INTO YOUR ROOM AT NIGHT

AND WATCH YOU SLEEP
WITHOUT YOU EVEN KNOWING IT.

OKAY. UM,
HOW DOES THAT WORK?

IT'S COMPLICATED.

UH, LET'S JUST CALL
IT A PHOTOCHEMICAL EVENT

AND LEAVE IT AT THAT.
OKAY, FINE.

IS IT POSSIBLE TO GET TOO MUCH
OF THIS FABULOUS GOOD THING?

OH, WHY YES, YOU CAN.
OVERDOSING IS NOT RECOMMENDED.

IN FACT,
POLAR BEAR LIVERS

ARE SUCH CONCENTRATED SOURCES
OF VITAMIN A

THAT EATING JUST ONE SERVING
COULD KILL YOU, DEAD.

YOU KNOW, YOU DON'T SEE
A LOT OF POLAR BEAR LIVER

DOWN AT THE MEGA MART,
DO YOU?
NOW YOU KNOW WHY.

EAT MORE PUMPKIN.
EAT MORE PUMPKIN.

SHE'S REALLY GOURD-GOUS.
"GOURD"--

ALL RIGHT, IT IS TIME FOR
THE SECOND ADDITION OF SOFTWARE.

SO REMOVE THE LID
FROM YOUR PUMPKIN.

BE CAREFUL.
IT COULD BE STEAMY.

AND ADD 2 OUNCES
OF GOAT CHEESE--

THERE WE GO. NO NEED TO STIR--

AND A--SAY A LOOSE TEASPOON
OF FRESH THYME LEAVES.

THERE.
JUST A-SLIDE THIS BACK IN

AND COOK FOR ANOTHER HALF-HOUR
WITH THE LID OFF.

ALL RIGHT, TO SERVE,
USE YOUR LARGE SPOON,

OR YOUR SPADE AGAIN,
TO SCRAPE OFF

SOME OF THE INNER TENDER MEAT
OFF OF THE SHELL

AND INTO THE LIQUID.

NOW SIMPLY HIT THE LIQUID
WITH A STICK BLENDER

UNTIL IT IS THE DESIRED
CONSISTENCY.

HMM? HMM?
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?

THAT IS DELICIOUS.
THAT IS DELECTABLE.

THAT'S NOT PUMPKIN PIE.
OH. WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW
ABOUT FOOD?

I INVENTED MACARONI AND CHEESE.
YOU MIGHT HAVE HEARD OF IT.

YEAH. YEAH, YEAH.
AND CATHERINE de MéDICIS

DESIGNED THE FIRST FORK.
WHATEVER.

LOOK, I REALIZE
IT'S NOT WHAT MOST OF US

WOULD THINK OF AS A PIE,

BUT KEEP IN MIND THAT FROM
A FLAVOR AND TEXTURE STANDPOINT,

IT WAS PROBABLY
AS CLOSE TO A PUMPKIN PIE

AS THE EARLY COLONIST EVER GOT.

NOW TO MAKE A PUMPKIN PIE
THAT MODERN AMERICANS WOULD,

YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY RECOGNIZE,

WELL, THAT WILL REQUIRE
SOME PUMPKIN PURéE,

AND NO, WE'RE NOT GONNA
OPEN A CAN.

♪♪♪

PUMPKIN PURéE IS TASTY
AND VERSATILE STUFF.

AND SINCE IT'S STUPID SIMPLE
TO FABRICATE

AND IT FREEZES WELL,

THERE'S NO EXCUSE NOT TO KEEP IT
ON HAND AT ALL TIMES.

NOW HERE WE HAVE
A FRESHLY SCRUBBED

4- TO 6-POUND BAKING PUMPKIN.

AND THE FIRST THING
THAT YOU WANT TO DO

IS REMOVE THE STEM,

AND USUALLY, THAT'LL JUST TWIST
OR PULL RIGHT OFF LIKE THAT.

NOW WE NEED TO SPLIT
THIS BAD BOY,

AND ALTHOUGH ANYTHING FROM
A LAWN MOWER BLADE TO A MACHETE

TO A CHAIN SAW TO A HATCHET
WOULD CERTAINLY DO THE JOB,

THERE IS A BETTER TOOL,

AND ONE THAT MOST COOKS

WOULD WANT TO AT LEAST
CONSIDER OBTAINING.

AND IT JUST SO HAPPENS
THAT ONE OF MY CREW MEMBERS

IS AN EXPERT IN THIS AREA.

PLEASE WELCOME EFFECTS GUY.

COME ON IN, EFFECTS GUY.
MR. "B."

EFFECTS GUY.
LIKE MOST OF MY CREW,

EFFECTS GUY HERE
MOONLIGHTS ON OTHER JOBS

WHEN "GOOD EATS"
IS NOT IN PRODUCTION,

AND HE JUST WRAPPED A HORROR
FILM CALLED--GREAT TITLE.

TELL 'EM.
"BLOODY ARBOR DAY."

"BLOODY ARBOR DAY."
I LOVE THAT.

AND IN THE BIG FINALE OF ARBOR
DAY--"BLOODY ARBOR DAY,"

PITS A RABID AX-WIELDING
LUMBERJACK

AGAINST A LUNCH LADY
ARMED WITH...
A CLEAVER.

NOW THE DIRECTOR WANTED HER
TO JUST, YOU KNOW,

SPLIT HIS MELON RIGHT OPEN
AT THE END,

AND THEN ALL THIS STUFF
COMES SHOOTIN' OUT

OF THE TOP OF HIS SKULL,
LIKE BLOOD--
YEAH, THAT'S--THAT'S--
THAT'S GREAT.

NOW YOU SAY MELON.
DID YOU PRACTICE ON MELONS?

PUMPKINS, ACTUALLY.
MORE LIKE HUMAN SKULLS.

DID YOU FIND THAT THE CLEAVER
IS THE APPROPRIATE DEVICE

TO... (cutting sound)
A PUMPKIN?
DEPENDS ON THE CLEAVER.

ASIAN STYLES LIKE THIS ONE
HAVE A THIN BLADE,

EVEN BACK AT THE SPINE.

NOW THE WIDE FACE
MAKES IT EASIER

TO DEAL
WITH A LOT OF VEGETATION

LIKE YOU MIGHT CUT UP
FOR A STIR-FRY.

YEAH, THIS ISN'T REALLY WHAT YOU
WANT TO HACK THROUGH A PUMPKIN.

OR A HUMAN SKULL.
NO.

FOR THAT, YOU WANT
A MEAT CLEAVER.

AH.
THE BACK IS WIDE, THE BLADE
ANGLE PRETTY EXTREME,

20 TO 22 DEGREES, IN THIS CASE,
AND IT'S HEAVY.

YEAH, THIS IS A CLASSIC
BUTCHER'S CLEAVER.

IT'S REALLY DESIGNED
FOR HACKING,

AND I DO MEAN, LIKE, HACKING
THROUGH JOINTS AND BONES

AND--HEY, HEY, HEY.
YAH! YAH!

YAH! NOW THAT'S
WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

I WAS GONNA EAT THAT.

UM... CLEAVERS USUALLY
HAVE A HOLE RIGHT HERE.

THAT'S FOR STORAGE,

SINCE THEY'RE TYPICALLY
TOO WIDE FOR A BLOCK

AND TOO HEAVY
FOR A MAGNETIC STRIP.

UH, WOULD YOU MIND IF I TRIED,
YOU KNOW, MAYBE ANOTHER ONE?
MNH-MNH.

I PREFER A SLIGHTLY
MORE SUBTLE APPROACH.

UM, LET'S SAY THAT WE HAD
ANOTHER PUMPKIN

LIKE THE ONE THAT YOU
RUTHLESSLY DESTROYED.

OKAY, NOW THIS
IS A WOODEN MALLET.

YOU GET THIS
AT THE HARDWARE STORE.

IT'S A FANTASTIC
MULTITASKER.
NICE.

AND YOU JUST SET THE, YOU KNOW,
THE BLADE CALMLY RIGHT HERE--

NO SWINGING--
AND YOU TAP,

USING THE WEDGE-LIKE
SHAPE OF THE BLADE

TO JUST MOVE
RIGHT THROUGH.

THERE. SEE?
NICE AND EASY.

I GUESS YOU WOULD
FILL THAT FULL OF--
YEAH.

RED PAINT AND SQUID MEAT.
YEAH, I THINK SO.

THANK YOU. GOOD NIGHT
TO EFFECTS GUY.

THANK YOU VERY, VERY MUCH.
OFF YOU GO.

SO NOW I WOULD SIMPLY
TAKE MY ICE CREAM SPADE

AND, UH--YEAH,
WE'LL CLEAN UP--

AND SCOOP OUT THE REST
OF THIS INTERIOR.

NOW WHEN YOU GET IT
ALL CLEANED OUT,

SPRINKLE ON A LITTLE
KOSHER SALT.

WHY? BECAUSE WE WANT
THE MEAT TO SOFTEN,

AND THE SALT WILL PULL SOME
MOISTURE OUT OF THE MEAT.

PLACE THE HALVES CUT SIDE DOWN
ON A SHEET PAN

LINED WITH PARCHMENT PAPER

AND ROAST, UH, FOR, EH,
30 TO 45 MINUTES

AT 400 DEGREES

OR UNTIL THE FLESH
IS EASILY PIERCED

WITH A SHARP PARING KNIFE.

YEAH, THAT LOOKS PERFECT.

REMOVE THE PAN FROM THE OVEN
AND REST ON A COOLING RACK

FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR,

OR YOU'LL BURN YOUR FINGER
SCOOPIN', THAT IS FOR SURE.

AND WHEN THE TIME COMES,
I SUGGEST YOU GET OUT

THE VERY SAME ICE CREAM SPADE
THAT YOU USED BEFORE

AND JUST SCOOP OUT THE GOODNESS.

NOTICE I'M KIND OF TURNING
THE SHELL AS I GO.

JUST DROP THAT
INTO THE WORK BOWL

OF YOUR FAVORITE FOOD PROCESSOR.

MMM, LOOKS LIKE PIE ALREADY.

THERE. NOW ONTO THE MACHINE

AND PROCESS
FOR THREE TO FOUR MINUTES

OR UNTIL THE FLESH IS SMOOTH
AND THOROUGHLY PURéED.

IT SHOULD LOOK
PRETTY MUCH LIKE THIS.

NOW AT THIS POINT, YOU COULD
BAG, TAG, AND REFRIGERATE

FOR UP TO A WEEK
OR FREEZE FOR UP TO SIX MONTHS.

OR YOU COULD MAKE PIE RIGHT NOW,

IN WHICH CASE
YOU SHOULD TURN YOUR OVEN

TO 350 DEGREES.

NICE.

NOW TO MAKE THE CRUST,

LOAD 6 OUNCES OF GINGERSNAPS

ALONG WITH A TABLESPOON
OF DARK BROWN SUGAR

AND A TEASPOON OF GROUND GINGER
INTO YOUR FOOD PROCESSOR.

SPIN THAT UNTIL IT REACHES
A CRUMB CONSISTENCY,

AND THEN PULSE WHILE DRIZZLING
IN AN OUNCE OF MELTED BUTTER.

THERE. THAT IS THE CONSISTENCY
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

NOW JUST DUMP THAT
INTO A 9-INCH GLASS PIE DISH

AND KIND OF PUSH IT DOWN
INTO THE CORNERS,

AND THEN USE A METAL PIE PAN,
PRESS DOWN ON TOP

TO FORM THE CRUST SHAPE.

THERE, THAT'S A NICE TRICK.

ALL RIGHT, CENTER YOUR PIE DISH
ON A SHEET PAN

AND BLIND BAKE,
THAT IS COOK EMPTY,

FOR TEN MINUTES.

♪♪♪

TIME TO TURN OUR ATTENTION
TO THE PIE FILLING.

BRING A POUND OF PUMPKIN PURéE
TO A SIMMER

JUST OVER MEDIUM HEAT,

AND LET THAT COOK
FOR TWO TO THREE MINUTES

OR TILL IT JUST, UH,
SLIGHTLY THICKENS UP.

THEN WORK IN A CUP
OF HALF-AND-HALF,

1/2 TEASPOON OF KOSHER SALT,

AND 1/2 A TEASPOON OF NUTMEG,

AND IT NEEDS
TO BE FRESHLY GRATED.

I MEAN IT.

STIR, BRING BACK TO A SIMMER--
SHOULD TAKE ABOUT A MINUTE--

THEN KILL THE HEAT,
AND LET IT COOL FOR TEN MINUTES.

IN THE MEANTIME,
WHISK TOGETHER TWO LARGE EGGS

AND ONE EGG YOLK

WITH 3/4 OF A CUP
OF DARK BROWN SUGAR

UNTIL IT IS VERY, VERY SMOOTH,
LIKE THAT.

THEN RETRIEVE
THE REST OF THE FILLING,

WHICH SHOULD BE DOWN
TO ABOUT 140 DEGREES NOW,

AND SLOWLY INCORPORATE,
WHISKING CONTINUOUSLY.

NOW HERE'S WHERE THINGS
CAN GET REALLY MESSY.

LEAVE THE CRUST ON THE PAN,

AND PUT IT BACK
ON THE OVEN RACK.

THEN MOVE THE FILLING
TO A MEASURING CUP,

OR SOMETHING WITH A SPOUT,

AND ADD THE THUSLY.

DO NOT BE SURPRISED IF YOU HAVE
SOME FILLING LEFT OVER.

I USUALLY DO.
DON'T FILL BEYOND THIS POINT.

SLOWLY MOVE THAT INTO THE OVEN
AND BAKE 45 TO 60 MINUTES

OR UNTIL THE CENTER
IS JUST JIGGLY.

THAT'S ABOUT 195 DEGREES
IN THE CENTER

AND 205 AROUND THE EDGES.

THAT'S JUST
WHAT YOU WANT TO SEE.

NOW LET THE PIE COOL
FOR THREE HOURS

BEFORE REFRIGERATOR
OR SLICING FOR SERVICE.

ME, I LIKE JUST A LITTLE SIMPLE
WHIPPED CREAM ON TOP.

OF COURSE,
IF YOU WERE TO BAKE YOUR PIE

AS FIVE INDIVIDUAL,
THAT IS 5-INCH ROUND PIES,

BY DROPPING THE CRUST
BAKING TIME TO FIVE MINUTES

AND THE FINAL BAKING TIME
TO 25 MINUTES,

YOU MIGHT WANT TO CHILL
THE FINAL PRODUCT

AND THEN BRULé THEM.

JUST SPRINKLE EACH PIE WITH,

SAY, A TEASPOON
OF LIGHT BROWN SUGAR,

AND THEN HIT IT
WITH YOUR PROPANE TORCH,

STRAIGHT
FROM THE HARDWARE STORE,

JUST UNTIL IT'S MELTED.

THERE. NOW THAT'S WHAT I CALL
COOKIN' WITH GAS.

NOW JUST LET THE PIE SIT
FOR A COUPLE OF SECONDS

SO THAT THE SUGAR WILL SET
BEFORE SERVING.

GO ON, DIG IN, FELLAS.

HEY, GO--GO EASY. THAT'LL
STRETCH OUT YOUR HOSE.

WELL, I HOPE
THAT WE HAVE INSPIRED YOU

TO TAKE UP YOUR DUTY
AS AMERICANS

AND EMBRACE YOUR OWN
HOMEMADE PUMPKIN PIES,

FREE AND CLEAR
OF ANY CANNED PRODUCTS

WHICH ARE OBVIOUSLY
A PLOT BY THE FRENCH.

I LIKE THE FRENCH.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH THE FRENCH, MIND YOU.

THEY DID INVENT COOKING AND FIRE
AND SOME OTHER USEFUL THINGS,

BUT THIS IS AMERICA,

AND WE'VE GOT
OUR OWN SENSE OF...

WELL, YOU KNOW.

AS FOR OTHER FINE
PUMPKIN PURéE APPLICATIONS,

THOSE'LL HAVE TO WAIT
FOR ANOTHER SHOW.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME.