Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 14, Episode 10 - All Hallows Eats - full transcript

Halloween has always been
the Brown family holiday.

I'm proud to say that no member
of my clan has ever handed out

a store-bought candy
to a trick-or-treater... ever.

In fact, each year
when the black cats hiss

and the goblins gobble,

we Browns crack open

the ancient codex
of all hallows eve treats

and get to cookin'.

(laughs)

Sometimes... (clears throat)

it's Great Aunt Gertie's
Mad Dog Fizzles



or Grandpap Oswald's
Gummy Worms with real worms.

flipping back in time,
what do we got?

Ooh. Horehound candy--
very nice.

Fire ant brittles
and jawbreakers,

toffees, taffies,
fuzzles, and fudges,

pralines and puffs
of every shape and flavor.

You can bet

if it's ever graced the bottom
of a plastic pumpkin bucket,

it is in here.

Furthermore, you can bet

that it is a surefire form
of magically mischievous...

♪♪

♪ Good Eats ♪

♪♪



Ah! Here's the one
I was looking for.

In 1869,
my Great-Great Uncle Tobias

went to work for
the Gerlitz brothers of Germany

who had recently set up
a candy shop

in Belleville, Illinois.

Now this was a very talented
candy family,

and they invented
a lot of different confections,

including a nearly fat-free
smooth chewy candy

that they called
the mellowcreme,

which can take many, many forms,

one of which is
a Halloween classic to this day.

Now I have my Uncle's version
of it right here,

and all I can say

is, well, it's as much fun
to make as it is to eat.

Like all the Brown candies,

this begins
with a cooked mixture

of sugar, corn syrup,
and water--

in this case,
3.5 ounces of the first,

3.75 ounces of the second,

and 2.5 tablespoons
of the third,

cooked to the thread stage--
ah.

Now lots of older recipes,

or receipts
as they used to be called,

refer to candy stages,
which rely on the behavior

of hot syrup
dropped into cold water

in order to ascertain the sugar
concentration of that syrup.

Now the stages are thread,

softball, firm ball,
hard ball, soft crack

hard crack and caramel,
uh, which we will not be
dealing with today.

Now softer candies
come from these stages,

and harder candies
came from down here.

Luckily, temperature

is also a way of ascertaining
the required data.

Now we are going to cook
our mellowcremes

to 230 degrees,

which means they'll still
contain, uh, roughly 20% water,

and therefore will be quite soft
and chewy and delicious.

Okay, Uncle's recipe calls for
a 2-quart saucepan,

and that's--oh, I'm--I'm sorry.

you have to be a Brown
to see this.

If you can see this at home,
send me a card or letter.

we're probably cousins.

Anyway, the reason that we want
something as small as 2 quarts

is because whenever
you're dealing with a syrup,

you want to use a narrow vessel

to help concentrate
all the energy into one place.

So here we go--
sugar...

water...

corn syrup.

There we go.

Heat--

I don't want to take a chance
of anything burning,

so I'm just gonna go
with medium.

Lid goes on,

and we'll let that, uh, cook
for four minutes

just to make sure the solids
are dissolved.

Now you're probably wondering
about the corn syrup. Come here.

Let's say
this is a sucrose molecule,

and these are sucrose molecules
dissolved in water.

Now as the water boils
in our syrup,

The sucroses crowd together.

If they group tightly enough,

they'll join together
in a uniform pattern.

In other words,
they will crystallize.

Now if this happens,
your syrup will basically

turn into a big pretty rock
sitting in a puddle of water.

Let's try again.

This time, we'll add
some different sugar molecules

to the mixture--corn syrup,
which is high in fructose.

Now when the molecules
get crowded together,

the fructose gets in the way
of the sucrose hookup.

Try and try though they might,

these molecules will simply
never make a crystal,

and that is good news
for us.

All right.

All right, as you can see,
the--sorry.

As you can see,

the solids have dissolved,
and a syrup is born.

Now at this point, we're going
to add 2 tablespoons of butter--

that's 1 ounce,
unsalted, if you please--

to the syrup.

Now the fat is going to give
the candy a creamy texture.

It's also gonna provide further
crystallization protection.

All right, now it is time
to clamp on a thermometer.

And I realize that you've got
plenty of thermometers

to choose from.

I do, as well, but I like
an old-school analog model,

because you can see

the acceleration
of the temperature,

so you know how fast you're
getting where you're going,

and that's helpful.

Where are we going?
230 degrees.

And it's gonna take us,
uh, I'm gonna say,

a minute and a half
to get there.

So we will tend
to the remaining software.

Here's where things are gonna
get a little bit interesting.

All right, we are going to be
adding 4 1/2 ounces by weight

of powdered sugar
to our candy.

I mean, yes,

there's already, you know,
plenty of sugar in there,

but we could use
a little bit more,

and we also need the cornstarch

that is packaged
in powdered sugar

as a desiccant.

It is going to absorb moisture
and make our syrup

more like a paste,
which is exactly what we want.

We're also going to add

1/2 an ounce by weight
of nonfat dry milk.

Now what does this tell us?

Well, it tells me that whatever
we're making is gonna be chewy.

How do we know?

Because, besides milk sugars,

dry milk contains
a good deal of milk protein.

Now these proteins
can absorb liquid and coagulate

into a gel kind of--
well, kind of like gelatin.

All right, now in the case
of milk proteins,

this happens in the presence
of enzymes and acids,

like the ones that are found--
albeit, in small amounts--

in corn syrup,

Like the corn syrup
that our candy already contains.

Coincidence?
I don't believe in 'em.

So 4 1/2 ounces by weight
of powdered sugar

go into your food processor,

along with 1/2 an ounce
of nonfat dried milk

and a 1/4 teaspoon
of kosher salt.

And just give that a spin
to break up the clumps and lumps

in the powdered sugar.

And when
the, uh, dust clears...

(coughs)

move directly to the syrup.

Right as you can see--
oh, sorry.

As you can see,
we are at 230 degrees,

so we kill the heat,

remove thermal management...

gonna add,
eh, 1/2 a teaspoon of vanilla.

There will be a little bubbling.
That's okay.

And dump in

all of the dry goods.

Now just stir to combine,

and make sure you use
a rubber or silicone spatula

for the job,
because this stuff is sticky.

When thoroughly combined,

dump out onto either
a piece of parchment

or a silicone-impregnated mat,
and cool for 15 minutes.

♪♪

Next up,
we require food coloring,

both yellow and orange.

Now there are,
believe it or not, options.

Besides the usual liquid stuff
you get at the mega mart,

there are also gel pastes,

plain old gels,
and dry food colorings,

which are very powerful.

Now I'm gonna use paste
for this application,

because they're concentrated,
vibrant,

and easy to homogenize into
thick mixtures like our dough.

Now don't be surprised

if you don't see these
at the old mega mart,

but they're easily obtainable
at cake decorating stores

and, of course,
on the world wide web.

All right, time for
the fun part--fabrication.

Take your disc, roll it out,

and then divide
into three even pieces.

Just use a dough cutter or board
scraper for that--there.

Now each one of these pieces,
you're gonna flatten

and color
in one form of another.

Here we have two drops
of the yellow food dye going on.

I'm just gonna fold that up
almost like a wallet

to incorporate it,

and then when the dye
is really worked in,

you can kind of knead it in
your hands almost like Play-Doh.

And then roll it out
the length of your mat--

I'm gonna say about 18 inches,

split that in half,
and set aside.

treat the second piece
in a similar fashion,

except with two to three drops
of the orange food coloring.

Fold it over several times
to incorporate,

and knead until the color
is nice and even.

There you go--
18 inches split in half.

Good.

The last piece
doesn't get any color,

but it is rolled and split,

so you've got six pieces
all day.

Now take one
of the white pieces,

roll it out until it's about,
eh, 1/2 an inch thick

and about 22 inches long.

Repeat with the yellow,

and, finally, repeat
with an orange.

Are you getting this?
Have you got it figured out yet?

I bet you do.

Now you're gonna stick
the pieces together

and trim off the ends.

They'll be delicious.
You can eat them later.

Then cut your snake
into 4-inch pieces.

There.

Now get your silicone mat back,

and lay out each piece,

and then kind of squeeze it
up against a metal ruler.

I actually like to use
the silicone mat itself

to get
a good cohesive wedge shape.

That's what you want.

There, everything's really good
and stuck together.

Now why did I say
4 inches in length?

Because that's how wide my
old-fashioned butter cutter is,

and that's how you make
your individual candies.

Now you know what this is,
right,

at least if you grew up
in the '60s and '70s?

That's right. It's homemade
delicious candy corn.

Yum.

There.

I realize there are a few of you
out there

who think
that candy corn is gross,

but that's because
the candy corn that you've had

is made of cornstarch and wax.

Trust me,
this is the good stuff.

Allow them to dry, eh, an hour,
hour and a half,

and then bag, tag,
and toss into the sacks

of grateful ghouls and goblins
everywhere.

You know, you can make this
stuff up to a week in advance.

I think it makes it even better.

and it's interesting to note
that this paste

can actually be made
into many other shapes,

but that's another show.
(growling)

(Bach's "Toccata and Fugue
in D minor" playing)

And so we have witnessed

how a sugar syrup

can become
a soft, yet toothsome paste.

Now you will witness
what can happen

when the temperature
is elevated...

(chuckles)

and the resulting elixir applied
to the most symbolic food

of the harvest season
going back to the Celts.

That's right,
we're gonna make candy apples

with a devilish Brown family
twist. (chuckles)

Start by placing 3 inches
of water in a 4-quart saucepan.

bring that to a boil
over high heat.

Then we build a syrup
in a 2-quart saucepan

over medium heat.

Now this will be almost
identical to the first syrup,

but with different proportions.

15 ounces by weight
of light corn syrup goes in,

followed by 14 ounces,
again, by weight--

it's easier that way--of just
regular old granulated sugar.

Then 2/3 of a cup of water,

and we're gonna clamp on the lid
and bring that to a boil

before attaching our thermometer

and making the ascent
to our final target temperature.

And since we're looking

for a very hard,
amorphous candy coating,

that temperature
will be quite high

compared to our last venture--

300 degrees, in fact.

Shouldn't take more than
about 15 minutes to get there.

Meanwhile, apples.

Unless you happen
to be an anaconda,

it's pretty tough
to eat a candy apple

made with modern red apples.

We just grow them big and red
in this country,

which is why I like smaller,
more old-fashioned varieties

such as Macouns, McIntoshes,

and my favorite pink ladies.

I imagine
that the original candy apples

were just stuck on sticks
off of trees

and then later popsicle sticks,
which I don't have.

What I do have--plenty of pairs
of disposable chopsticks

from, you know,
years of takeout.

They actually make
better handles,

because they are more stable,
give you more to hold on to.

And, of course,
once the apple's gone,

you can still use
the chopsticks.

It's like Christmas
in October.

Right, by this time,

the syrup should be
thoroughly dissolved

and boiling,

so we will apply
thermal management,

meaning a thermometer, and shoot
for that 300 degrees we need.

Meanwhile,
we can prep the apples.

The stems need to go,
so just twist those out.

Now most candy apples

are made by pushing the stick
into the top of the apple.

I think
that's actually harder to eat.

I like to go up
into the blossom end.

That puts the bigger curve
at the top.

Makes for
a prettier final piece.

So once you have
all of the sticks

in their respective apples,

we move back
to the boiling water.

Now they need to be dunked in
for 15 to 20 seconds.

Why? Because, believe it or not,
they're covered with a wax--

Carnauba wax, a food-grade wax

which is applied to many,
many fruits, including apples,

in a very, very thin coat
in order to make them shiny

and to keep them
from losing moisture.

A lot thinner than this--
don't worry.

But it's harmless.

It's still gotta go,
or else the candy won't stick,

so after 15 to 20 seconds,
remove the apples

and allow them to dry thoroughly
before continuing.

♪♪

Traditionally, candy apples

are bright
candy-apple red...

(sighs)

courtesy of anywhere
from 15 to 20 drops

of red liquid food coloring,

which is definitely the tool
for this particular job.

Now red food dyes
concern some parents,

because it's widely thought
that they can cause this.

(voices overlapping)

Perhaps a little color clarity
would be useful here.

The United States government

recognizes two categories
of pigment.

Color additives approved for use
in human food, part 73,

subpart "A," color additives
exempt from batch certification.

Uh, that is food colorants based
on natural substances,

like annatto seed,
beta-Carotene,

grape skin extract,
paprika, and the like.

And color additives approved
for use in human food,

part 74, subpart "A,"

color additives subject
to match certification.

Also referred to
as food, drug, and cosmetic,

or FD & C colors,

that is the seven
big artificial colors...

red number 3, red number 40,
yellow number 5,

yellow number 6, blue number 1,
blue number 2,

green number 3, and orange "B."

The manufacturing
of these colors

is highly regulated
by the batch, in fact.

Although the federal government
insists that FD & C dyes

are safe...

totally safe. Mm-hmm.

There is some research

that suggests some food dyes,
especially reds,

can, in fact, cause...

(voices overlapping)
(boing)

Look,
if you're really concerned,

just skip the food coloring.

After all, apples--
already pretty much red.

But keep in mind,

if you really want to get all
the food dyes out of your life,

you're gonna have
to wien yourself

off of about 50,000 other
manufactured foods to do it.

Now ever since, well, forever,
pretty much,

cinnamon has been the candy
apple coating flavor of choice.

I do not like ground cinnamon
in this, because it's gritty,

so I am going to use
1/2 a teaspoon of cinnamon oil,

which is potent stuff.

And, of course, there's
the brown family modification,

which comes in the form
of cayenne pepper.

(chuckles)

That'll teach the little jackals
to roll my yard.

(voices overlapping)

All right, we're at 300 degrees
on the syrup,

so kill the heat
and remove the thermometer.

Time to get
the rest of the ingredients in.

I'm gonna go easy on the kids
this year

and just use a teaspoon
of cayenne pepper--

you can use your discretion
on that--

1/2 teaspoon
of the cinnamon oil,

and then the colorant.

I'm gonna use anywhere
from 15 to 20 drops

if you want them
really bright red,

and since there is a good bit
of water in there,

it will bubble up even though
the heat has been turned off.

stir thoroughly to combine,

and then let it cool down until
it is not bubbly anymore.

Then time to dip apples,

and you kind of need
to go quickly here

so things don't set up.

Just dip in, and I like to kind
of tilt the saucepan to coat.

Then pull the apple up
and spin it.

Spin it until there's no more
syrup dripping off.

There you go.

That way, the pool
won't be too big on the bottom.

You don't want a big disc
on the bottom of the apple.

There you go. It should take
about two minutes all total,

well, for six apples, at least.

1.2 mil cello wrap
available at craft stores

makes the perfect wrapping
for our jewel-like beauties,

but if it's unseasonably warm
or humid where you live,

you would want
a piece of wax paper

in between apple and plastic.

Just look at that--

beautiful
and dangerously delicious.

trick or treat, indeed.

having harvested

the soft and hard side
of sugar syrup's nature,

it's time to get nasty--

dark, sticky, nasty--

with cousin Axle's popcorn balls

with, of course,
the patented Brown family trick

deep inside.
(chuckles)

Again, we will build a syrup,
but with a twist this time.

So 7 1/2 ounces by weight
of corn syrup

goes into a larger saucepan
this time--

say, 3 1/2 to 4 quarts--

then molasses.

4 1/4 ounces by weight
of dark, mysterious,

and ever-so-slightly bitter
molasses.

We'll also add sugar--

as usual,
this is 7 ounces by weight--

some salt,
which I always like in sweets--

1 teaspoon here--

and then vanilla extract

to the tune of 1 teaspoon,

give or take.

Last up, 1/3 of a cup
of water.

I'm gonna put that
to medium heat

and cover to dissolve.

♪♪

After two to three minutes,
our syrup should be at a boil.

Time to apply
thermal management.

Again, our thermometer goes on.
There.

Now we are looking
to obtain 250 degrees.

(bell dings)
250 degrees is, of course,

right between the firm ball
and hard ball stages.

What does that mean, kids?

It means you little ghost-ies
and goblins

can kiss your molars good-bye.

(chuckles)

All right, whip up one batch
of "Good Eats" perfect popcorn.

It makes
about 3 1/2 to 4 quarts.

To that, I'm going to add
1/4 of a cup of cocoa nibs.

That's the stuff that chocolate
is made out of.

You can get it
in most mega marts

and, of course, online
these days.

It's completely optional,
but nice.

Now when you reach 250 degrees,

of course,
the thermometer comes out.

And the syrup

immediately goes
onto the popcorn.

Do not hesitate,
or it will set up.

Stir very, very quickly
with your biggest spatula

to get it mixed in
as it slowly starts to set.

All right,
when it comes time to form,

butter up your hands,

as well as a 3-inch-diameter
disher or scoop,

'cause this stuff is sticky
like you just don't know.

Get yourself a big scoop
into your hands,

and lightly mold into a ball.

Do not compress it,
or it will be so dense,

no one would ever be able
to eat it.

Let that dry thoroughly
on parchment paper.

Ooh! I almost forgot
the Brown family variation.

Just scoop,

and instead of making a ball,

kind of flatten it out,

and insert...

(chuckles evilly)

a cooked Brussels sprout.

I'll make sure the little
beasties get their vegetables.

Once cooled,

wrap in
just plain old plastic wrap

or the same cello-film
as the apples,

and wait for the fun.

They're so sticky, it takes
about an hour to eat even one,

and you...
(knock at door)

(gasps) What is that?
The door? Oh, goodie!

(all) Trick or treat!

(Alton) ) Ooh, what scary little
cretins we have here!

Oh, I've got something for you,

and here are a few of these
for you,

a little something for you,

and, oh, I've got something
extra special for you.

(all) Thank you!

You're welcome. You're welcome.
Off you go.

Off of my property.
That's right.

There you go. Off you go.

(chuckles)

Now let's see.

If my calculations are correct,
I give it...

(mouthing words)

(girl screams)

See you next Halloween
on "Good Eats."

(chuckles)

(laughs evilly)