Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 13, Episode 16 - Raising the Bar Again - full transcript

GREETINGS, AMERICAN COOKS.

I TRUST THAT WHEN YOU SEE
THIS FLAG BEHIND ME,

YOU KNOW THAT HUMBLE PIE
IS ON THE MENU.

NOT LITERALLY A CRUST FILLED
WITH ANIMAL ENTRAILS AND BAIT,

MIND YOU, BUT A DOSE OF
HUMILITY HEFTED UPON YOU,

BECAUSE YOU...

AND BY "YOU" I MEAN... YOU.

YOU'VE NOT EXACTLY KEPT UP WITH
YOUR CULINARY CIVICS CLASSES,

HAVE YOU?

WELL, I THINK IT'S HIGH TIME
YOU FACED THE SPINNING DRUM

OF YOUR REDEMPTION.



HA‐HA‐HA‐HA.

AS PER OUR USUAL
MODUS OPERANDI,

THIS VESSEL
HAS BEEN FILLED WITH CARDS,

EACH OF WHICH BEARS THE NAME
OF AN AMERICAN CLASSIC DISH

IN DESPERATE NEED OF
OUR COLLECTIVE ATTENTIONS.

NOW SINCE WE'VE RECEIVED
SOME PESKY E‐MAILS OF LATE

SUGGESTING THAT MOI HAS BEEN
SUPERSEDING THE DICTUMS OF FATE

BY ASSERTING MY WILL
OVER WHAT IS OBVIOUSLY

A COMPLETELY RANDOM
SELECTION PROCESS,

WE'VE DECIDED TO INVITE
MY ATTORNEYS, TWITCHY AND ITCHY,

TO OVERSEE THE PROCEEDINGS.

ADDITIONALLY,
OUR MUSICAL DIRECTOR

IS GOING TO PLAY
A LITTLE DITTY,

AND WE'LL SPIN THE WHEEL
DURING THE TIME



THAT THE DITTY IS PLAYING.

AND WHEN HE STOPS PLAYING
THE DITTY, WE'LL STOP
AND EXTRACT THE CARD.

HIT IT, MAESTRO!

♪

(clearing throat)

TODAY'S AMERICAN CLASSIC IS...

OOH, YOU KNOW, WE'VE
DONE THIS ONE BEFORE.

HEY, NO, I JUST
DON'T WANT... OH!

HEY, BE EASY,
I'M JUST A LOWLY COOK.

COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.

NO, I DON'T... NO, NO, NO,
I DON'T WANNA DO IT.

OH, OKAY, OKAY, OKAY,
I'LL SAY IT.

TODAY'S AMERICAN CLASSIC IS
CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS.

THERE, ARE YOU HAPPY?

LET GO OF ME, YOU BRUTE.
(phone ringing)

OH, SEE THERE,
IT'S ALREADY STARTING.

(phone ringing)

(sighing)

HI, MOM.
(Alton's mom)
Alton, are you insane?

JUST HAD A FEELING.

(indistinct voice on phone)

YEAH, I KNOW, UH‐HUH,
OUR HISTORY.

YEAH, PAGE 843 OF
THE FAMILY COOKBOOK, I THINK.

YEAH, CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS.

SURE, MOM.

OH, YOUR FRIENDS ARE WATCHING.
(phone beeping)

OKAY, LISTEN, I GOT
ANOTHER CALL, BYE‐BYE.

HELLO?

OH, HI, WINIFRED,
YES, MA'AM.(indistinct voice on phone)

(whispering)
MY MOTHER‐IN‐LAW.

(in regular voice)
YES, MA'AM, I KNOW,
IT'S THE BEST EVER.

UH‐HUH, SURE,
YOU GAVE IT TO ME LAST YEAR.

I HUNG IT UP RIGHT AWAY.

YEAH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL
AND AUTHENTIC.

AND YES, MA'AM,
VERY, VERY DELICIOUS.

OH, EVERYBODY THERE
IS COUNTING ON ME, HUH?

OKAY, GOODBYE.

WELL, LOYAL VIEWERS,
YOUR FAITHFUL HOST

IS PRETTY MUCH DOOMED.

YOU SEE, WHAT MY MOM THINKS
CHICKEN DUMPLINGS SHOULD BE

AND WHAT MY
MOTHER‐IN‐LAW THINKS...

KNOWSTHAT THEY
SHOULD BE ARE...

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY
THAT THEIR VIEWS

ARE SOMEWHAT CONFLICTING.

COME ON, WHY IS THERE
SO MUCH HITTING ON THIS SHOW?

ANYWAY, HOPEFULLY WITH
SOME SOUND SCIENCE,

THE RIGHT BIRD,
AND A NEW UNLISTED NUMBER,

OUT OF THIS CHAOS
AND FISTICUFFS

WE'LL BE ABLE TO BRING FORTH

SOME REALLY GREAT
CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS

THAT WILL QUALIFY AS
FIRST‐RATE...

♪

♪ GOOD EATS ♪

♪

SO WHY CAN'T MY MOTHER'S
CHICKEN AND DUMPLING RECIPE

ABIDE THAT OF
MY MOTHER‐IN‐LAW,
OR VICE VERSA?

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU THIS.

IT'S GOT NOTHING
TO DO WITH CHICKEN.

MY MOTHER AND OUR FAMILY,
GOING BACK A DOZEN GENERATIONS,

BELONG TO THE SCHOOL OF BIG,
FLOATY, FLUFFY DUMPLINGS,

A.K.A. SWIMMERS,

WHILE MY MOTHER‐IN‐LAW
AND HER KIN,

GOING BACK, I DON'T KNOW,
A THOUSAND YEARS,

ARE OF THE HARD, FLAT,
AND SLIPPERY DUMPLING SCHOOL,

A.K.A. SLICKERS.

NOW IF YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
AMERICAN CULINARY HISTORY,

YOU MIGHT ASSUME THIS TO BE
YET ANOTHER SKIRMISH

BETWEEN NORTH AND SOUTH,

WHERE THE HIGHER‐CLASS,
PUFFY, LEAVENED DUMPLINGS

ARE UP ON TOP,

AND THE FLAT SLICKERS
ARE DOWN BELOW, BUT WAIT.

ALTHOUGH MY MOTHER'S
FAMILY HAILS FROM

THE NORTH GEORGIA MOUNTAINS ‐‐

CORNELIA, TO BE EXACT ‐‐

DILIGENT RESEARCH CLEARLY SHOWS
THAT OUR STYLE OF DUMPLINGS

HAILED NOT ONLY FROM NORTH
OF THE MASON‐DIXON LINE,

BUT ULTIMATELY EASTERN,
IN NORTHERN ENGLAND ‐‐

NORFOLK, TO BE EXACT.

NOW MANY REFERENCES
TO SUCH DUMPLINGS EXIST,

SAY THIS ONE
FROM ROBERT ARMIN,

ONE OF LORD CHAMBERLAIN'S MEN,

THE THEATRICAL TROUPE
RESPONSIBLE FOR PREMIERING

SO MANY OF SHAKESPEARE'S PLAYS.

NOW IN HIS 1608 WORK
"A NEST OF NINNIES" ‐‐

I LOVE THAT ‐‐

HE DESCRIBES SOMEONE AS LOOKING
LIKE A NORFOLK DUMPLING,

"THICK AND SHORT."

NOW LOOKING BACK EVEN FURTHER,

IT DOESN'T TAKE
A PROFESSIONAL HISTORIAN

TO FOLLOW THIS EDIBLE CHAIN
BACK THROUGH THE NORMAN CONQUEST

IN NORTHERN FRANCE, WHERE
DUMPLINGS MUCH LIKE MY MOTHER'S

ARE COOKED IN FISH STEW.

NOW MY MOTHER‐IN‐LAW'S FAMILY
IS FROM NORTH CAROLINA ‐‐

CORNELIUS, TO BE EXACT,

WHICH IS ONLY 146 NAUTICAL MILES
NORTHEAST OF CORNELIA.

NOW THERE, THEIR FLAT DUMPLINGS
ARE MORE AUTHENTICALLY SOUTHERN

AND THEY DESCEND FROM
THE HARD DUMPLINGS
OF SOUTHERN ENGLAND,

SPECIFICALLY SUSSEX,
WHICH, I MIGHT ADD,

WAS INVADED IN 477 A. D.
BY SAXONS FROM GERMANY.

DID I MENTION THAT
MY WIFE'S FAMILY IS
OF A GERMAN EXTRACTION?

COINCIDENCE?

OH, I DON'T THINK SO.

WHAT WE HAVE HERE, KIDS,
IS NOTHING LESS

THAN A CULINARY EXTENSION
OF THE NORMAN‐SAXON CONFLICT,

MADE IMMORTAL BY POPULAR
STORIES SUCH AS...

"ROBIN HOOD"
AND, OF COURSE, "IVANHOE."

THIS IS CLEARLY
EPIC STUFF, FOLKS,

AND THESE RIFTS ARE NOT
ABOUT TO BE MENDED.

SO WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO
MAKE BOTH DUMPLINGS.

YOU GUYS LOOK
REALLY FAMILIAR TO ME.

EXCUSE ME.

WE ARE GOING TO BEGIN WITH
THE FLAT, OR SLICKER, DUMPLINGS,

AS...

THEY REQUIRE CONSIDERABLY
MORE TIME TO PREP THAN...

YOU HIT ME WITH ANOTHER PILLOW,
AND WE'RE DONE PROFESSIONALLY.

LIKE MOST SOUTHERN BAKED GOODS,
MY MOTHER‐IN‐LAW'S DUMPLINGS

ARE BASED ON THE BISCUIT METHOD,

WHEREIN FLOUR IS MIXED WITH
LEAVENING AND SEASONING,

SOLID FAT IS CUT IN,
COLD LIQUID IS ADDED,

AND THE DOUGH IS
BRIEFLY KNEADED.

♪

(Alton)
OUR ROLLED DUMPLINGS
BEGIN WITH 8 OUNCES

OF ALL‐PURPOSE FLOUR,
BY WEIGHT, PLEASE.

IT DOESN'T TAKE THAT LONG.

TO THAT WE WILL ADD
2 TEASPOONS OF BAKING POWDER

AND 1 TEASPOON
OF KOSHER SALT.

AND JUST MIX THAT IN
WITH YOUR FINGERS.

YEAH, I KNOW,
WHY LEAVEN FLAT DUMPLINGS?

WELL, THEY'RE ONLY GOING
TO BE MOSTLY FLAT.

KEEP IN MIND,
COMMERCIALLY AVAILABLE
BAKING POWDERS,

BY AND LARGE, ARE DOUBLE‐ACTING.

SO ALTHOUGH
THE FIRST BLAST OF CO2

THAT IS RELEASED WHEN
THE DOUGH COMES TOGETHER

WILL BE LOST TO THE ATMOSPHERE
DURING THE DRYING PHASE,

THERE WILL STILL BE
ANOTHER MINI BLAST

WHEN THE DUMPLINGS HIT
THE HOT LIQUID LATER.

AND THAT'LL LEAVEN THE DUMPLINGS
JUST ENOUGH TO TENDERIZE THEM.

ALL RIGHT, NEXT UP, 1/3 CUP
OF VEGETABLE SHORTENING.

THAT'S 2 3/8 OUNCES
BY WEIGHT.

WHAT I USUALLY DO IS JUST BREAK
THIS LITTLE HOCKEY PUCK

UP INTO PIECES, AND THEN
WORK IT INTO THE DOUGH.

YOU WANNA WORK FAST,
WITH THE FINGERTIPS ONLY.

THE REASON, HEAT.

BELIEVE ME, IF THIS FAT MELTS,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
A DEVIL OF A TIME

ROLLING THE DUMPLINGS
THIS THINLY, AS IS REQUIRED.

MAKE A LITTLE WELL
IN THE CENTER,

AND THEN POUR IN
1/2 CUP OF SKIM MILK.

ACTUALLY, I'M GONNA HOLD OUT
ON ABOUT AN OUNCE OF THAT

JUST TO SEE IF
I'M GOING TO NEED IT.

I DON'T WANT THIS ANY WETTER
THAN ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

JUST WORK IT TOGETHER
WITH YOUR FINGERS.

AND IT LOOKS A LITTLE SHAGGY.

I'M GONNA ADD ABOUT HALF
OF THE REMAINING MILK,

BUT I DON'T THINK
I'M GONNA NEED IT ALL.

NOW JUST KNEAD
THREE OR FOUR TIMES,

JUST ENOUGH TO BRING
THE DOUGH TOGETHER.

AND THEN WALK AWAY.

THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID WALK AWAY.

YOU DON'T WANNA WORK AIR
INTO THIS MIXTURE,

AND WE DON'T WANT
TO MELT THE FAT,

AND WE DON'T WANT TO TOUGHEN
THE FINAL PRODUCT BY DEVELOPING

TOO MUCH GLUTEN, SO JUST STOP.

GET YOURSELF A DOUGH SCRAPER

AND DIVIDE INTO
TWO EQUAL PIECES.

THERE, AND WE'LL ROLL THEM
ONE AT A TIME.

PUT DOWN A PIECE
OF PARCHMENT PAPER,

BIT OF FLOUR,
NO EXACT MEASUREMENT THERE,

AND I LIKE TO KINDA START
WITH THE DOUGH LOOKING LIKE,

I DON'T KNOW,
A BIG WHITE CANDY BAR.

FLOUR UP YOUR ROLLING PIN

AND THEN KNOCK THIS DOWN
TO 1/16 OF AN INCH

IN THICKNESS.

NOW I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING.

YOU'RE THINKING,
"HEY, YOU COULD DO THIS
WITH A PASTA MACHINE."

WELL, BELIEVE ME, I HAVE TRIED
AND MADE A BIG MESS.

THIS IS DEFINITELY
THE WAY TO GO.

THERE, THAT LOOKS GOOD.

NOW AS YOU FINISH ROLLING
EACH OF THE DUMPLING SHEETS,

COVER WITH A CLEAN TEA TOWEL.

WE'RE GONNA LET THESE SIT
FOR EIGHT HOURS, WHY?

WELL, BECAUSE WE'RE SWITCHING
FROM MAKING BISCUITS

TO MAKING DRIED PASTA.

OVER TIME, IF THERE ISN'T
TOO MUCH HUMIDITY,

THE STARCH WILL SOAK UP
WHAT IT CAN HOLD OF THE MILK

INSIDE THE DOUGH, AND THE REST
WILL SIMPLY EVAPORATE.

AND THAT'LL GIVE US A NOODLE
THAT'LL HOLD ITS OWN

WHEN IT HITS THE HOT BROTH.

NOW IF YOU SKIP THIS STEP,
THE DUMPLINGS WILL FALL APART,

AND YOUR IMPATIENCE
WILL BE PUNISHED.

NOW LET'S REPEAT
WITH THE SECOND DOUGH.

JUST AS BEFORE, REMEMBER,
1/16 OF AN INCH,

AND IT DOESN'T
HAVE TO BE PRETTY.

NOW BOTH OF OUR PATIENTS
ARE RESTING COMFORTABLY

ON THE COUNTER, NICE AND THIN,
COVERED WITH TEA TOWELS.

AND SET YOUR TIMER
FOR EIGHT HOURS.

NOW OLD‐SCHOOL
CHICKEN AND DUMPLING MAKERS,

LIKE MY MOTHER‐IN‐LAW,

SWEAR THAT THIS IS
A COOL‐WEATHER‐ONLY DISH.

FOR ONE THING, THE DUMPLINGS
CURE BETTER IN DRY, COOL AIR.

BUT THERE'S ANOTHER REASON.

YOU SEE, OUT IN THE COUNTRY,
FALL IS NATURALLY THE TIME THAT

THE LITTLE BABY SPRING CHICKS
ARE ALL GROWN UP.

AND TYPICALLY THERE'S
ONE OR TWO BIG OLD ROOSTERS

HANGING AROUND,
MORE THAN ARE NEEDED

FOR COCK‐A‐DOODLE‐DOO DUTY,
IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

HATCHET, PLEASE.

AND SO IT IS TIME FOR US
TO MOVE ON...

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS...
WHAT IS THIS?

MY CONTRACT?

(reading from contract)
ABSOLUTELY NO K‐‐

OH, OKAY.

WELL...

GO ON, BUDDY.

(sighing)
WELL, WHO WANTS TO GO
TO THE MEGA MART?

I DO!

NOW THE CLOSEST THING
TO AN OLD ROOSTER

YOU'RE LIKELY TO FIND
AT YOUR LOCAL MEGA MART

IS A STEWING HEN.

THAT IS A LAYING CHICKEN
WHO HAS EXCEEDED

HER EGG‐LAYING USEFULNESS.

UNLIKE A YOUNG BROILER,
FRYER, OR EVEN A ROASTER,

THE STEWING HEN HAS LIVED
LONG ENOUGH TO DEVELOP

REAL POULTRY FLAVOR
AND CONNECTIVE TISSUE,

WHICH WE CAN DISSOLVE
INTO GELATIN,

A PROCESS THAT CAN TAKE HOURS,

UNLESS, OF COURSE,
YOU HAVE A TIME MACHINE.

MY FAVORITE TIME MACHINE,
OF COURSE, THE PRESSURE COOKER.

AND WE'VE APPLIED PRESSURE
ON THIS SHOW BEFORE

TO SUCH LONG‐COOKING EATS
AS CHILI AND BEEF STOCK.

BUT LET'S REVIEW THE PRINCIPLES.

UH, THE FOOD GOES IN,
WATER IS ADDED,

THE VESSEL IS SEALED,
HEAT IS APPLIED,

AND THIS REGULATOR, TYPICALLY
A SPRING‐LOADED PISTON ‐‐

THE OLD WEIGHTED JIGGLERS
WENT OUT A LONG TIME AGO ‐‐

UM, MAINTAINS PRESSURE OF
15 POUNDS PER SQUARE INCH.

THAT RAISES THE BOILING POINT
OF WATER, AT SEA LEVEL,

FROM 212 TO 252 DEGREES
FAHRENHEIT.

WHY, YOU ASK?

HOW, YOU ASK?

WANNA TAKE A RIDE, I ASK?

IF YOU'RE A FAN OF THIS SHOW,
YOU'VE PROBABLY HEARD ME SAY

THAT THE BOILING POINT OF WATER
DEPENDS UPON ELEVATION.

HMM.

IT'S MORE EXACT TO SAY THAT
THE BOILING POINT OF WATER

DEPENDS UPON ATMOSPHERIC
PRESSURE, OKAY?

NOW A POT OF WATER
SITTING ON THE BEACH

IN RIO DE JANEIRO
ON A STANDARD ATMOSPHERIC DAY

WILL BE EXPERIENCING A PRESSURE
WE REPRESENT BAROMETRICALLY

AS 29.92 INCHES OF MERCURY.

TO REACH A BOIL,
WE HAVE TO POUR ENOUGH ENERGY

IN THE FORM OF HEAT
INTO THAT POT TO
OVERCOME THAT PRESSURE.

NOW AT SEA LEVEL THAT'S
212 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT.

BUT WHAT IF WE WERE TO STACK
MORE SKY ON TOP OF THAT VESSEL

BY PLACING IT AT THE BOTTOM
OF A VERY, VERY, VERY DEEP HOLE?

AH, HERE WE ARE,
SUBBASEMENT 1,667.

EVEN IF I DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW
THAT THE BOTTOM OF THIS SHAFT

IS 3.7878 MILES
BENEATH MY KITCHEN FLOOR ‐‐

THAT'S 20,000 FEET ‐‐

I WOULD BE ABLE
TO ASCERTAIN AS MUCH

BY SIMPLY LOOKING
AT THIS THERMOMETER,

WHICH INDICATES THAT
THIS WATER IS BOILING

AT 252 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT.

NOW A LITTLE MATH
TELLS US THAT MEANS

THERE'S AN EXTRA 15 POUNDS
PER SQUARE INCH OF PRESSURE

BEING APPLIED TO THIS WATER.

IT MEANS THAT WE COULD COOK
OUR CHICKEN DOWN HERE

VERY, VERY QUICKLY,

OR WE COULD, YOU KNOW,
BUY A PRESSURE COOKER,

WHICH IS PROBABLY
CHEAPER THAN DIGGING

A 3.7878‐MILE‐DEEP HOLE.

♪

(Alton)
FINALLY, OUR STEWING HEN,

WHICH IS FREE OF GIBLETS
AND ANY, YOU KNOW, NECK STUFF,

GOES INTO THE CAPSULE,
A 7‐QUART PRESSURE COOKER,

ALONG WITH A TABLESPOON
OF KOSHER SALT

AND ENOUGH WATER TO JUST REACH
THE MAXIMUM FILL LINE.

DO NOT ADD WATER ABOVE
THE MAXIMUM FILL LINE,

OR SOMETHING MAY HAPPEN.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT, BUT IT
PROBABLY WOULDN'T BE GOOD.

NOW CHECK THE GASKET
ON THE UNDERSIDE OF YOUR LID.

MAKE SURE THAT IT
IS SEATED IN POSITION,

AND APPLY AND LOCK THE LID.

THERE, NOW THIS GOES
OVER HIGH HEAT

UNTIL THE VESSEL STARTS
TO WHISTLE LOUDLY AT YOU.

IT'LL TAKE ABOUT 20 MINUTES.

NOW THIS IS A SURE SIGN
THAT WE HAVE ATTAINED

ALL THE PRESSURE WE NEED.

WE ONLY HAVE TO MAINTAIN IT NOW,
AND THAT MEANS LESS ENERGY.

SO TURN THE HEAT TO LOW
AND LET THE VESSEL

JUST BARELY HISS AT YOU
FOR 45 MINUTES.

THEN TRIGGER WHATEVER
PRESSURE‐RELIEF VALVE YOU HAVE.

AND WAIT FOR
THE LOCKS TO RELEASE.

THEN YOU CAN CRACK OPEN
THE CAPSULE,

AND OBVIOUSLY
OUR BIRD HAS UNDERGONE

SOMETHING OF A TRANSFORMATION.

I'M JUST GONNA GET HIM OUT...

OOPS, SORRY, HER, HER.

SOMETIMES THEY COME OUT
IN ONE PIECE, WHICH IS NICE.

SOMETIMES THEY DON'T.

THERE WE GO, JUST PUT THAT IN
A BOWL AND ALLOW THAT TO COOL.

WE CAN'T REALLY
MANIPULATE IT YET.

I'M GONNA GET ALL OF THE GOOP
OUT OF THIS BROTH

THAT I POSSIBLY CAN.

SO I'M JUST GONNA USE
THE SAME SPIDER.

LINE THAT WITH A FEW PIECES,
OR A FEW FOLDS, OF CHEESECLOTH

AND CAREFULLY STRAIN THROUGH IT.

MY MOTHER‐IN‐LAW WOULD SAY
THIS ISN'T NECESSARY,

BUT I LIKE MY BROTH CLEAN.

IF THERE ARE ANY
LITTLE CHICKEN CHUNKS

DOWN AT THE VERY BOTTOM
OF THE POT, WHATEVER YOU DO,

DON'T THROW THEM AWAY,
THAT WOULD BE WASTEFUL.

THIS IS NOT A WASTEFUL DISH.

JUST ADD IT TO THE REST
OF THE CHICKEN,

AND IT'LL TASTE JUST AS GOOD.

WHILE THAT RESTS,
WE WILL DEAL WITH THE BIRD.

YOU HAVE GOT TO PICK OFF
EVERY BIT OF MEAT

THAT YOU POSSIBLY CAN

AND BREAK IT DOWN
INTO BITE‐SIZE CHUNKS.

AS YOU CAN SEE, OUR DUMPLING
DEHYDRATION INITIATIVE

HAS BEEN A SUCCESS.

THEY DON'T LOOK
VERY APPEALING RIGHT NOW,

BUT WITH PROPER REHYDRATION
AND HOT LIQUID,

THEY WILL SOFTEN AND SET
WITHOUT FALLING APART.

NOW I USE
MY PIZZA CUTTER FOR THIS,

AND I BEAR DOWN ENOUGH
TO CUT THROUGH BOTH LAYERS.

AND I'M GOING WITH ABOUT
1/2‐INCH TO 1‐INCH STRIPS.

DON'T WORRY IF THEY BREAK APART.

THEY WILL,
AND THAT'S A GOOD THING.

JUST SCOOP THEM UP AND PUT THEM
A HANDFUL AT A TIME

INTO THE HOT LIQUID.

CLOSELY MONITOR
YOUR HEAT, KIDS.

WE NEED CONVECTIVE MOTION
TO KEEP THINGS MOVING,

TO KNOCK SOME STARCH
OFF THE DUMPLINGS

AND INTO THE BROTH, WHERE
IT CAN SWELL AND THICKEN.

IF THE LIQUID'S TOO COOL,
THAT WON'T HAPPEN

AND THE SOUP WILL BE THIN.

BOIL TOO HARD, HOWEVER,

AND THE SLICKS WILL SIMPLY
BE BLOWN TO SMITHEREENS.

SET YOUR CLOCK FOR TEN MINUTES,

AND EVERY NOW AND THEN
JUST KIND OF PUSH THE DUMPLINGS

DOWN INTO THE HOT BROTH.

NO STIRRING,
JUST GENTLE PUSHING.

THEN LOAD UP A HANDFUL
OF CHICKEN INTO A BOWL

AND PREPARE TO DINE.

NOW SOME PEOPLE LIKE
A WHOLE LOT OF DUMPLING

AND NOT A LOT OF BROTH.

ME, I'M KIND OF
A 50‐50 KIND OF GUY, I GUESS.

JUST A COUPLE OF LADLES,

AND THEN MY ONLY ADORNMENT IS
BLACK PEPPER, AND A LOT OF IT.

AT LEAST THREE OR FOUR
BIG GRINDS, THERE.

MMM.

YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY THINK
MY MOTHER‐IN‐LAW

WOULD BE PROUD OF ME.

HEY, THAT'S NICE.

OH, UM, HI, MOM.

LOOK, I DON'T THINK
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TIME

TO MAKE YOURS ON THE SHOW
TODAY... HEY, OW, OW!

I MEAN, WE'RE RUNNING
OUT OF TIME, HEY!

YOU KNOW, FOR A SHOW
ABOUT COMFORT FOOD,

I'M NOT VERY COMFORTABLE.

THANKS TO THE MAGIC
OF TELEVISION,

NOT ONLY DO I HAVE MY POT
OF CHICKEN AND DUMPLINGS,

I HAVE ANOTHER IDENTICAL POT
OF BROTH STANDING BY

FOR JUST THIS SORT OF DISASTER.

♪

NOW FLUFFY NORTHERN
DROP‐STYLE DUMPLINGS,

A.K.A. SWIMMERS...

GOOD, DON'T REQUIRE VERY MUCH
TIME AT ALL BECAUSE THEY...

THERE'S NO
DRYING PHASE INVOLVED,

AND A TYPICAL PROCEDURE
WOULD LOOK LIKE THIS.

WE'RE GOING TO BOIL THE BUTTER
AND THE H2O TOGETHER ‐‐

THAT IS THE CHICKEN BROTH ‐‐

ADD FLOUR, BEAT UNTIL
THE MIXTURE IS COOL,

AND THEN WORK IN EGGS,
REMIND YOU OF ANYTHING?

IF YOU ANSWERED PATE A CHOUX
OR CHOUX PASTE,

GIVE YOURSELF A NICE BIG HUG,

BECAUSE THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT
MY MAMA'S DUMPLINGS REALLY ARE,

WHICH MEANS THAT THEY ARE AS
FRENCH AS CHANEL NUMBER FIVE.

ONLY THEY TASTE GOOD.

WE BEGIN BY MOVING 1/2 CUP
OF THE VERY HOT BROTH

OVER TO ANOTHER VESSEL.

IN THIS CASE I'M GOING TO USE
A 2‐QUART SAUCIER.

NOW PUT THAT TO HIGH HEAT

AND ADD 3 TABLESPOONS
OF UNSALTED BUTTER

ALONG WITH 1/2 TEASPOON OF SALT,
KOSHER SALT, OF COURSE.

NOW WHEN IT COMES TO A BOIL,
DUMP IN 2 3/4 OUNCES

OF ALL‐PURPOSE FLOUR
ALL‐OF‐A‐SUDDEN‐LIKE.

BY USING HOT LIQUID,
WE'RE FORCING THE STARCH

AND THE FLOUR TO RAPIDLY HYDRATE
TO THE POINT OF GELATINIZATION.

THAT IS...

WHEN THE LONG
STARCH MOLECULES UNFURL.

THIS MEANS THE DOUGH
IS ESSENTIALLY SATURATED.

IT'S DRUNK IN MOST OF
THE MOISTURE THAT IT CAN TAKE,

AND IT WILL, THEREFORE,
MAINTAIN ITS BREADY DEMEANOR

EVEN WHEN IT HITS
THE HOT LIQUID LATER.

SO WE'LL MOVE OUR DOUGH BALL OFF

AND HIT IT WITH
THE HAND MIXER ON LOW.

BELIEVE ME, THIS IS A PLACE
YOU WANNA USE A POWER TOOL.

IT'S GONNA LOOK
KIND OF LIKE BIG COUSCOUS.

THAT'S OKAY.

ADD THE FIRST OF TWO EGGS
AND WORK IT IN

AS MUCH AS YOU CAN.

IT SHOULD COMPLETELY DISAPPEAR.

THE MIXTURE WILL STILL LOOK
PRETTY GNARLY, THOUGH.

AND THEN ADD THE SECOND EGG
A FEW MINUTES LATER

AND WORK UNTIL YOU'VE GOT
A SMOOTH AND VERY STICKY BATTER.

LIKE THAT.

IT'S KINDA LIKE
REALLY STICKY MASHED POTATOES.

AND WE'RE GONNA MOVE THAT
INTO A ZIP‐TOP BAG.

BIGGER IS BETTER
IN THIS CASE

BECAUSE THIS STUFF IS STICKY
AND DIFFICULT TO WORK WITH.

GET EVERY LITTLE BIT.

THERE, NOW WORK OUT
AS MUCH AIR AS POSSIBLE

AND THEN SNIP OFF THE END
WITH YOUR SHEARS.

I'M GOING WITH ABOUT
A 1/2‐INCH TO 3/4‐INCH OPENING.

THEN SIMPLY SNIP OFF
1‐INCH PIECES

INTO THE BOILING LIQUID.

NOT ROLLING BOIL, MIND YOU,
BUT DEFINITELY BOILING LIQUID,

UNTIL BASICALLY THERE'S JUST
NOTHING LEFT IN THE BAG.

PLACE ON THE COVER AND COOK
FOR EIGHT TO TEN MINUTES.

DURING THAT TIME YOU CAN
PREP UP ANOTHER BOWL

WITH SOME MORE OF THAT
DELICIOUS CHICKEN.

AND LOOK AT THAT.

NICE BIG PILLOWY DUMPLINGS.

GOOD FOR EATIN',
NOT SO GOOD FOR HITTIN',

WHICH IS OKAY BY ME.

THERE.

AND, OF COURSE,
AS BEFORE, PEPPER.

LOTS OF LUSCIOUS BLACK PEPPER.

THERE.

AND SO OUR TALE OF
TWO DUMPLINGS, AND CHICKEN,

REACHES A PEACEFUL CONCLUSION,
WITH THE DROP DUMPLINGS

OF MY MOTHER

AND THE FLAT, SLICK DUMPLINGS
OF MY MOTHER‐IN‐LAW

COEXISTING PEACEFULLY,
SIDE BY SIDE ON THE SAME TABLE.

DESPITE CONFLICTING ORIGINS ‐‐

NORTH, SOUTH,
ENGLAND, GERMANY, FRANCE ‐‐

AND HOSTILE HISTORIES,

WE SEE THAT HERE IN AMERICA
FOOD HAS THE POWER

TO BRING HARMONY TO DISCORD,
HEALING WHERE THERE WAS HATRED.

THERE'S A LESSON IN THAT
FOR ALL OF US.

AND WHILE WE'RE ON
THE SUBJECT, LISTEN, MOM,

I WAS THINKING
WE'D COME TO YOUR HOUSE

FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER, OKAY?

THEN YOU CAN COME OVER TO OURS
FOR CHRISTMAS BREAKFAST,

AND THEN EVERYBODY
WILL BE HAPPY, RIGHT, YEAH?

OF COURSE NOT.

SEE YOU NEXT TIME
ON "GOOD EATS."