Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 12, Episode 12 - Rise of the Rhizome - full transcript

ings)

HELLO?
A.B., SID.

SID? WHERE ARE YOU? YOU WERE
SUPPOSED TO CALL ME AT 4:00.

WELL, I FORGOT
TO RESET MY WATCH.

TWO DAYS AGO.

WHATEVER. LOOK, OUR NEW JOINT
VENTURE IS OFF AND RUNNING.

YEAH? THEY SIGNED?
YOU BET THEY SIGNED.

THEY HAD REALLY NICE PENS, TOO.
THEY LET ME KEEP ONE.

ALL RIGHT, WELL,
FOOD P.R. WAITS FOR NO MAN,

SO COME ON BACK
AND GET TO DOING

WHATEVER IT IS
THAT YOU DO.



RIGHT ON. I JUST
NEED TO CATCH THIS FLIGHT

OUT OF BRUSSELS
AT 10:00.
BRUSSELS?

WHY ARE YOU IN BRUSSELS,
SID, WHEN THE HEADQUARTERS

OF THE BELGIAN CHOCOLATE
CONSORTIUM IS IN BRUGGE?

BRUGGE, BRUSSELS,
YOU KNOW,

IT'S ALL LACE
AND WAFFLES TO ME, BABY.

YEAH, BUT, SID,
THERE'S NOTHING IN BRUSSELS

EXCEPT FOR THE--
OH, I REALLY NEED
TO CATCH THIS FLIGHT.

OH, SID, TELL ME
YOU DIDN'T.

(stammering)

LOOK, YOU WANTED ME TO CLOSE
A DEAL, SO I CLOSED A DEAL!

BESIDES, IT'S A GREAT
LITTLE TOWN WITH--

WITH REALLY GREAT PEOPLE,

AND, OH, THEY'VE GOT
SUCH A NIGHTLIFE HERE...
OH, NO.



I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
PLACES TO GO,

PEOPLE TO SEE, MUSEUMS.
(laughs)
ONLY YOU, SID.

ONLY YOU COULD FLY
EIGHT HOURS FOR CHOCOLATE,

ONLY TO COME BACK
WITH BRUSSELS SPROUTS!

OH, WELL, IN YOUR HANDS,

THEY'LL BE SILKY, SOFT,

SMOOTH AND...
(hisses) SUCCULENT.

PEOPLE HATE
BRUSSELS SPROUTS, SID,

THE WAY I HATE YOU.
NO, THEY DON'T.

THEY'RE JUST AFRAID
OF THE UNKNOWN.

YOU'RE ASKING THE IMPOSSIBLE.
FOR ME TO CONVINCE

MODERN AMERICANS THAT
BRUSSELS SPROUTS ARE--
(phone hangs up)

HELLO? HELLO?

¶

¶ GOOD EATS ¶

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,
BEHOLD, THE BRASSICAS,

A BOTANICAL FAMILY
SO TIGHTLY KNIT,

GENETICALLY SPEAKING,
THAT YOU'D EXPECT AT LEAST

ONE OF THEM TO BE
PLAYING A BANJO.

NOW THE ORIGINAL PLANT,
BRASSICA OLERACEA,

WAS A SHORT, LOOSE-LEAF VARIETY

THAT GREW WILD ALONG
COASTAL AREAS IN EUROPE.

NOW AS FARMERS TOOK THESE PLANTS
AND BEGAN TO MANIPULATE THEM,

ISOLATING MUTATIONS
AND THEN CROSSBREEDING THEM,

THE FAMILY SLOWLY
BUT SURELY DIVERSIFIED

INTO WHAT IS TODAY, A VEGETAL
DYNASTY SOME 400 MEMBERS STRONG.

BUT THEY DO ALL FIT, ROUGHLY,

INTO FIVE
BROAD CATEGORIES, OKAY?

YOU'VE GOT THE CURLY LEAVES,
SUCH AS KALE AND COLLARDS,

THOSE COMPOSED OF MASSES
OF FLOWERING BUDS,

BROCCOLI AND CAULIFLOWER,
OF COURSE.

YOU'VE GOT POINTY CABBAGES,
LIKE CHINESE CABBAGE,

AND ROUND CABBAGES,
INCLUDING WHITE, GREEN AND RED.

AND THEN WE HAVE
THE CROWN JEWELS OF THE FAMILY,

THE BELUGA CAVIAR OF CABBAGES,

BRUSSELS SPROUTS, WHICH,
CHRONOLOGICALLY SPEAKING,

ARE RELATIVE INFANTS, WHICH IS,
OF COURSE, WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE.

THEY ONLY CAME ON
TO THE SCENE

PROBABLY IN THE FIRST FEW YEARS
OF THE 18th CENTURY.

NOW AS FOR THE NAME,

THESE MARVELS DO ACTUALLY
GROW AROUND BRUSSELS,

BUT WE HAVE SCOURED OUR VISUAL
RECORDS OF THAT FAIR CITY

AND HAVEN'T SEEN
A SINGLE SPROUT.

IN TRUTH, THE NAME AT LEAST,
PROBABLY CAME FROM FRANCE,

WHERE 19th-CENTURY
BOTANICAL NOMENCLATURISTS

WERE CRAZY ABOUT
ADDING PLACE NAMES

TO EACH AND EVERY MONIKER,
WHETHER IT WAS TRUE OR NOT.

HOWEVER, CONSIDERING
WHO OUR CLIENT IS,

I'M PREPARED TO STAND UP
AND SWEAR BRUSSELS SPROUTS

ARE DEFINITELY FROM BRUSSELS.

NOW AS FOR THE SPROUT'S
AMERICAN EXPERIENCE...

I DECLARE THESE SPROUTS
TO BE DELICIOUS.

THOMAS JEFFERSON
IS CREDITED

AS HAVING INTRODUCED
THE PLANT TO COLONIAL SOIL

AND, OF COURSE,
AT HIS GARDEN IN MONTICELLO.

BUT, YOU KNOW, THOMAS JEFFERSON
SEEMS TO GET THE CREDIT

FOR BRINGING EVERY FOOD
IMAGINABLE INTO AMERICA.

THEY CAN'T POSSIBLY ALL BE TRUE,
CAN THEY, JEFFERSON?

WHAT WE DO KNOW
IS THAT PRIVATE GARDENS

REMAINED THE REALM OF THE SPROUT

UNTIL 1945, WHEN THE BURGEONING
FROZEN FOODS INDUSTRY

EMBRACED THE FAST-TO-BLANCH,
EASY-TO-FREEZE ORBS.

THE--

I SAW THAT, JEFFERSON! OH!

THE QUALITY OF THESE EARLY
ROCK-HARD SPECIMENS...
(thud)

OUCH!
MAY HAVE GONE A LONG WAY
IN EXPLAINING

THE SPROUTS'
NEFARIOUS REPUTATION.

OF COURSE, FROZEN FOOD
TECHNOLOGY HAS GOTTEN

A WHOLE LOT BETTER,

BUT I STILL PREFER THEM
IN THEIR RAW STATE.

NOW BRUSSELS SPROUTS
ARE AVAILABLE YEAR-ROUND,

BUT THEY ARE
AT THEIR FRESH PEAK

FALL TO EARLY SPRING,
WHEN THAT COLD WEATHER

CONCENTRATES THEIR NATURAL
SUGARS, WHICH IS IMPORTANT.

NOW WHEN PURCHASING,
LOOK FOR FIRM, COMPACT HEADS

WITH BRIGHT DARK GREEN LEAVES,
AS YOU WOULD WITH ANY CABBAGE.

AVOID SOFT OR PUDGY SPROUTS

OR ANYTHING WITH YELLOW LEAVES.

YELLOW IS A SURE SIGN OF AGE

BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT THE MORE
TIME-SENSITIVE GREEN CHLOROPHYLL

HAS GIVEN UP THE GHOST, LEAVING
THE LONG-LASTING YELLOW BEHIND.

IT'S LIKE A MARKER
FOR OLD SPROUTS. THAT'S BAD.

NOW IF AND WHEN YOU FIND
GOOD-LOOKING SPROUTS

STILL ON THE STALK,
YOU DEFINITELY WANT TO BUY THEM.

NOT ONLY ARE THE STALKS,
WELL, REALLY COOL-LOOKING,

THEY ARE WHAT THEY SEEM,
LIFE-SUPPORT UNITS. THAT'S GOOD.

IN FACT, IF YOU TRIM THE ENDS

AND PARK YOUR STALKS
IN CLEAN WATER IN A COOL PLACE,

YOUR SPROUTS COULD REMAIN VIABLE

FOR UPWARDS OF A WEEK,

DURING WHICH TIME, YOU CAN

SIMPLY CUT OFF WHAT YOU NEED

WITH A SHARP PARING KNIFE.

SO IT'S BEAUTIFUL
AND FUNCTIONAL,

(crunch)

BUT NOT VERY GOOD, RAW.
(clears throat)

IF YOU CAN LAND
ONLY OFF-STALK SPROUTS,

PLACE THEM IN
AN OPEN PLASTIC BAG

SO THEY CAN BREATHE,

AND PLACE THAT INSIDE
YOUR CRISPER DRAWER.

AND IF THE CRISPER DRAWER
HAS NOT BEEN SET

FOR MAXIMUM HUMIDITY,
DO SO NOW.

IN HERE, YOU'LL GET
THREE TO FOUR DAYS MAX,

BUT ONLY IF YOU DO NOT WASH THEM

AND YOU DON'T PEEL OUT
THE OUTER LEAVES.

IF YOU DO THAT,
WELL, ALL BETS ARE OFF.

(telephone rings)

(rings)

HELLO?
A.B., SID HERE.

HOW'S THE SPROUT FEST?
WELL, WE'VE
LAID IN SUPPLIES.

WHERE ARE YOU?
OH, MY FLIGHT
WAS DELAYED.

I'M TRYING TO PICK UP
A LITTLE BELGIAN.

IT'S NOT BELGIAN, SID,
IT'S FRENCH WITH A FUNNY ACCENT.

YEAH, WHATEVER. FOREIGN TONGUES
HAVE ALWAYS ELUDED ME.

OH, LOOK, I HAD TO CASH
THEIR FIRST CHECK

TO COVER MY EXPENSES,
SO YOU'D BETTER GET TO WORK.

EXPENSES? WHAT EXPENSES?

THEY WANT SOMETHING BASIC.
YOU KNOW, BRUSSELS SPROUTS 101,

A RECIPE SO THAT EVERYONE
CAN BE PUT AT EASE

WITH THE LITTLE
GREEN GUYS.
WHAT EXPENSES?

OH, DARN IT.
MY CELL PHONE'S DYING.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO
CHARGE THESE THINGS IN EUROPE.

(phone hangs up)
(growls)

BEHOLD, THE BROWN FAMILY RECIPE
FOR BRUSSELS SPROUTS.

THE BROWNS, BY THE WAY,
WE'RE ENGLISH,

ERGO, THE RECIPE CALLS
FOR COOKING THE SPROUTS

FOR AN HOUR AT A ROLLING BOIL.

THE RESULT--
SLIMY, DRAB, STINKY,

INEDIBLE BALLS OF DOOM.

TO AVOID THIS FATE, WE SIMPLY
APPLY A BIT OF SCIENCE.

COOKING BRUSSELS SPROUTS,
LIKE COOKING ANY CABBAGE,

IS A BALANCING ACT.

YOU'RE HOPING TO MAXIMIZE

THREE PRIMARY CHARACTERISTICS
ALL AT THE SAME TIME--

FLAVOR, TEXTURE AND AROMA.

OKAY, NOW TEXTURE IS, OF COURSE,
A MATTER OF DONENESS,

AND DONENESS IS ALL ABOUT
BREAKING DOWN CELL WALLS.

NOW WHEN YOU GET IT JUST RIGHT,
THEY'RE NOT HARD.

THEY'RE NOT MUSHY.
THEY'RE JUST SLIGHTLY CHEWY.

THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE BREAKING
DOWN OF THE CELL WALLS

RELEASES SOME, WELL,
UNFRIENDLY CHEMICAL COMPOUNDS.

YOU SEE, SPROUTS
CONTAIN SINIGRIN,

WHICH IS A TYPE
OF GLUCOSE-CYANIDE.

NOW GLUCOSE-CYANIDES ARE
A CLASS OF ORGANIC COMPOUNDS,

WHICH ALSO CONTAIN SULFUR
AND NITROGEN.

NOW AS THE SPROUTS COOK,
THE SINIGRIN BEGINS TO DEGRADE

INTO ALLYL-ISOTHIOCYANATE,
OR MUSTARD OIL,

WHICH EXPLAINS
THE NASTY-TASTING COMPOUNDS

AND THE, UH, LESS
THAN APPEALING AROMA...
(device beeping)

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN...
ROTTEN EGGS AND...

OH, SWEATY ARMY SOCKS,
I WOULD SAY.

NOW WE COULD DILUTE THESE
BY COOKING THE SPOUTS

IN A LARGE AMOUNT OF WATER,
BUT HERE'S THE THING--

A LOT OF
THE NASTY-TASTING COMPOUNDS

ARE POWERFUL NUTRIENTS,
CANCER-FIGHTERS, IN FACT.

AND THEY'RE MOSTLY
WATER-SOLUBLE,

SO THE MORE WATER YOU USE,
THE MORE YOU WASH AWAY.

SO REACHING OPTIMUM CONDITIONS
ON ALL OF THESE FRONTS

AT ONE TIME IS PRETTY MUCH
IMPOSSIBLE. SORRY.

BUT YOUR BEST BET IS TO COOK
SPROUTS AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE

IN AS LITTLE WATER AS POSSIBLE.

BEGIN WITH 1 POUND
OF RINSED SPROUTS.

IF YOU NOTICE THAT
ANY OF THE OUTER LEAVES

ARE BEGINNING TO WILT OR YELLOW,

GO AHEAD AND REMOVE THOSE
BEFORE PROCEEDING.

NOW YOU MAY HAVE SEEN
SOME RECIPES THAT CALL

FOR CUTTING AN "X"
INTO THE BOTTOM OF THE STEM

AS IF THAT'S GONNA
SPEED UP THE COOKING.

I CERTAINLY DON'T BELIEVE IT.
WE DO WANT TO SPEED COOKING,

SO DO THIS--JUST TRIM OFF
THE BOTTOM OF THE STEM

AND THEN SPLIT IN HALF,
LONGITUDINALLY.

THIS WILL ALSO KEEP THEM
FROM ROLLING OFF THE PLATE

WHEN THEY'RE DONE--
A LOT EASIER TO EAT THAT WAY.

NOW INTO
A 3- TO 4-QUART SAUCIER,

ADD A MERE 1/2 CUP OF WATER

AND 1/4 TEASPOON

OF KOSHER SALT.

COVER, CRANK THE HEAT TO HIGH

AND COOK
FOR EXACTLY FIVE MINUTES.

ABOUT HALFWAY THROUGH,
GIVE THEM

A LITTLE BIT OF A SHAKE
JUST TO MOVE THAT WATER AROUND.

THERE.

WHEN THE LID COMES OFF,
THERE'S GONNA BE A LOT OF STEAM,

SO BE CAREFUL.

THERE. NICE SPROUTS.

AHH! SERVE AS A SIDE

OR TOSS WITH
A LITTLE MELTED BUTTER

AND TOASTED BREADCRUMBS AND
CONSUME IN MASS QUANTITIES.

(telephone ringing)
OOH. THAT BETTER BE MY NEW

AND ALREADY-REGRETTED
BUSINESS PARTNER. EXCUSE ME.

HELLO? SID?
(music playing)

WHAT'S THAT MUSIC?
OH, IT'S ELEVATOR MUSIC.

I'M ON MY WAY DOWN
TO THE FOOD COURT

FOR A TASTE
OF THE LOCAL CUISINE.

AH, HAVE YOU GOTTEN ANYTHING
FOR THE CLIENTS YET?

THE CLOCK'S A-TICKIN'.
WELL, I'VE WORKED OUT
SOME BASIC MOVES

THAT I THINK WILL
SILENCE THE CRITICS.

(scoffs) THE PEOPLE
OF BRUSSELS

ARE NOT INTERESTED IN
SILENCING CRITICS, BUDDY BOY.

THEY WANT SOMETHING
THAT WILL GIVE THEM

CULINARY SUPERIORITY.
LIKE WHAT?

OH, LIKE SOMETHING
THE BIG CABBAGES CAN DO

THAT THE LITTLE RUNTIER ONES
CAN DO BETTER.
LIKE WHAT?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

LIKE, WHY DON'T YOU GO GET
AN ISTY-BITSY SHREDDER

AND MAKE SLAW, HUH?
OR WHY DON'T YOU PURéE IT?

OH, OR BETTER YET,
"POIROT" IT.

YOU GET IT?
POIROT IT!

OH, IT'S LATE.
OH, THANK YOU.

(phone hangs up)

I JUST WANT
TO OFFICIALLY APOLOGIZE

TO ALL OF YOU
AGATHA CHRISTIE FANS OUT THERE.

ALL RIGHT, SLAW, SLAW, SLAW.

WHY NOT?

SEEING AS HOW BRUSSELS SPROUTS

ARE REALLY JUST
MINIATURE GREEN CABBAGES,

SHREDDING THEM FOR SLAW MIGHT
NOT SEEM TOO REVOLUTIONARY.

BUT KEEP IN MIND,

LIKE SO MANY MEMBERS
OF THE BOTANICAL WORLD...

SMALLER BRASSICAS
ARE STRONGER BRASSICAS.

SO I PROPOSE THAT WE TAME
THE SPROUT'S BITTER BITE

WITH JUST A WEE LITTLE KISS
OF HEAT.

BUT BEFORE WE COOK,
WE MUST FABRICATE.

NOW I LIKE KNIVES.
KNIVES ARE VERY, VERY NICE.

BUT UNLESS YOU'RE
A REAL SAMURAI,

MOWING THROUGH A POUND OF RINSED
AND TRIMMED SPROUTS

COULD TAKE, WELL, A LONG TIME.

BESIDES, MOST FOOD PROCESSORS
THESE DAYS

COME ARMED WITH
A SLICING BLADE LIKE THIS

WHICH, IF YOU'RE LIKE ME,
YOU ALMOST NEVER USE.

TODAY'S THE DAY.

NOW EVEN PRESSURE
ON THE FEED TUBE

IS THE KEY HERE.

OKAY, NOW THAT OUR SPROUTS HAVE
BEEN PROPERLY PROCESSED,

FETCHETH FORTH 3 OUNCES
OF COARSELY CHOPPED PECANS

AND MOVE THEM OVER TO A 10-INCH,

STRAIGHT-SIDED SAUTé PAN
OVER MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT.

NOW KEEP THESE MOVING
FOR SEVERAL MINUTES

UNTIL THEY JUST BEGIN
TO DARKEN AND COLOR

AND GIVE OFF
A NICE TOASTY AROMA.

TWO MINUTES OUGHT TO DO THE JOB.

ALL RIGHT, ONCE THE PECANS
ARE PERFECTLY TOASTED,

WE WILL ADD 3 TABLESPOONS
OF UNSALTED BUTTER

AND MELT.

NOW BRING THE SPROUTS
TO THE PARTY,

ALONG WITH SALT

AND PEPPER TO TASTE. I GO ABOUT
A 1/4 TEASPOON ON BOTH.

NOW KEEP STIRRING AS THESE COOK.

I FIND THAT TONGS ARE BETTER

FOR TURNING OVER THE SPROUTS,
BETTER THAN A SPOON.

NOW WE'RE SHOOTING
FOR THE MOMENT

THAT THEY ARE PERFECTLY DONE.
THEY'LL BE BRIGHT GREEN

WITH JUST A LITTLE BIT
OF BROWN AROUND THE EDGES,

AND THAT'S GOOD
BECAUSE BROWN MEANS SWEETNESS.

ALL RIGHT, OUR SPROUTS
HAVE BEEN ON THE HEAT

FOR NEARLY SIX MINUTES. YEAH.

THE GREENS ARE STILL BRIGHT,
BUT LITTLE PIECES ARE STARTING

TO BROWN AROUND THE EDGES.

THAT MEANS CARAMELIZATION.
THAT MEANS WE ARE DONE.

SO KILL THE HEAT
AND ADD THE FINAL INGREDIENT,

4 OUNCES OF COARSELY CHOPPED
DRIED CRANBERRIES,

WHICH PROVIDE TARTNESS
AS WELL AS SWEETNESS,

A NICE CONTRAST TO THE TOASTY
GOODNESS OF THE NUTS

AND--HOW CAN I SAY THIS?

THE BRIGHT, VEGETAL FUNK
OF THE SPROUTS.

YOU KNOW, NOW THAT I THINK
ABOUT IT, THIS IS LESS A SLAW

THAN A HASH.

YOU KNOW, SID, I DON'T USUALLY
GIVE SERVING SUGGESTIONS,

BUT IN THIS CASE, ROAST TURKEY.
THAT'S ALL I'M GONNA SAY,

ROAST TURKEY.
WE NEED TO THINK OF SOMETHING
BETTER THAN THAT AND FAST.

(laughs) I'M HERE ON STANDBY
AND I'M TRYING TO FIT THIS

INTO THE BIG PICTURE,
AND I REALLY DON'T THINK

THAT THESE BRUSSILI--BRUSSUL--
BRUSSELITES WOULD GO FOR IT.

WE NEED A SHOWSTOPPER, KID.
WE NEED A MAGAZINE COVER.

WE NEED SOMETHING
THESE GUYS CAN TAKE

TO THE EUROPEAN FOOD UNION
CONVENTION IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.

OH, I GOTTA RUN. I THINK
MY FLIGHT'S BEING CALLED.
SID?

(phone hangs up)
SID?

OH, BOTHER. WELL,

SOUNDS LIKE WE NEED TO TURN UP
THE OLD FLAVOR KNOB TO 11.

NOW OUR SLAW PLAYED
TO SPROUTS' SHARPER ATTRIBUTES,

BUT ONE OF
THE SULFUR COMPOUNDS THAT FORMS

WHEN SPROUTS COOK
IS A DIMETHYL SULFIDE,

A PRIME FLAVORANT IN WINE,
QUINCE AND TRUFFLES.

A LOT OF EARTHINESS THERE.
WE JUST NEED TO ROUND OFF

THE HARSH EDGES
A LITTLE BIT AND--

THANK YOU.
THANK YOU, THING.

BUT WHEN YOU WANT TO TAKE
THE EDGES OFF OF FLAVORS,

YOU DON'T REACH FOR ABRASIVES.
YOU REACH FOR...

FAT.

SORRY, I KNOW
IT'S NOT A POPULAR WORD,

BUT THE TRUTH IS
FATS CAN ROUND OFF

SPROUTS' SHARP, EDGY QUALITIES,

WHILE STRETCHING
THE EARTHY TONES.

BESIDES, WITH ALL THE FABULOUS
VITAMINS--A, C, K AND B1--

INCLUDED IN EACH
AND EVERY SPROUT,

YOU CAN AFFORD A LITTLE FAT.
SAY, BACON.

SIX SLICES SHOULD
DO THE TRICK. MMM.

SNIP YOUR SIX RASHERS
INTO WEE PIECES

AND BROWN IN A 10-INCH SAUTé PAN
OVER MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT.

NOW WHILE THAT COOKS,
MAKE SURE THAT YOU HAVE

ONE BASIC BRUSSELS SPROUTS
RECIPE BATCH STANDING BY.

NOW FIVE MINUTES OR SO,
DRAIN THE BACON

INTO A STRAINER SET OVER
A HEAT-PROOF BOWL.

NOW THERE IS A LOT OF FLAVOR
IN THESE DRIPPINGS,

SO 1 TABLESPOON OF THAT
GOES BACK INTO THE PAN

OVER LOW HEAT.

NEXT UP, ONE SMALL ONION,
JULIENNED.

NOW HOW MIGHT ONE
PRODUCE SUCH A CUT?

COME WITH ME.

FIRST, FIND YOURSELF AN ONION--

THE MIRROR, BY THE WAY,
IS COMPLETELY OPTIONAL--

PEEL IT, CUT IT IN HALF,
AND I USUALLY LEAVE A LITTLE BIT

OF THE ROOT END INTACT
WHEN I PEEL. IT MAKES IT EASIER.

BUT THAT'S GONNA NEED
TO COME OFF.

SO WITH A SANTOKU OR
A CHEF'S KNIFE, REMOVE THUSLY.

THEN MAKE ORBITAL SLICES,

N NG IVIAN ARC LONGITUDINALLY.

THEN FOLD OVER
THE NEXT PIECE AND REPEAT.

THERE. YOU'LL END UP
WITH NICE LITTLE JULIENNE.

OKAY, WHEN THE ONION
IS NICE AND SOFTENED,

ADD, AH, ABOUT
A TEASPOON OF SALT

ALONG WITH
ONE GRANNY SMITH APPLE,

CORED AND CHOPPED,
PEEL LEFT INTACT,

COOK ANOTHER MINUTE.

OKAY, TIME TO BRING
THE SPROUTS BACK TO THE PARTY

ALONG WITH 1/2 CUP
OF HEAVY CREAM,

A TEASPOON OF DIJON MUSTARD--

ISN'T IT CUTE?

COOK UNTIL THE SPROUTS
ARE JUST HEATED THROUGH.

THEN QUICKLY FINISH
WITH THE BACON,

1 OUNCE OF CRUMBLED BLUE CHEESE

AND A PINCH OF NUTMEG.

I ALWAYS KEEP ONE OF THESE
IN MY POCKET, JUST IN CASE.

MMM. (chuckles)
MMM. OHH,

A.B.... (laughs)

THIS DISH IS GONNA GET YOU
A STATUE ON THE EIKSTRAAT,

RIGHT NEXT TO
MANNEKEN PIS. MM-HMM.
REALLY?

HEY, ISN'T THAT THE STATUE
OF THE LITTLE BOY WHO'S--
UH, YES, YES,

BUT SOMETIMES THEY
HOOK HIM UP TO A BEER KEG.

THEY ALSO LIKE TO DRESS HIM IN
LITTLE COSTUMES--STRANGE FOLK.

STILL...

STILL WHAT?

WELL, THE SPROUTS ARE
THE CARRIER, BUT THE FLAVOR,

IT'S ALL BACON
AND BLUE CHEESE, AM I RIGHT?

WELL, NO,
BECAUSE I THINK--
YEAH, OF COURSE I AM.

YOU SEE,
BLUE CHEESE IS FRENCH.

BELGIANS HATE THE FRENCH.

LIKE I HATE YOU.
(chuckles)

WE NEED A DISH
THAT SHOUTS,

"I AM BRUSSELS SPROUT,
HEAR ME ROAR!"

NOT, "I AM BRUSSELS SPROUT,
SORRY I STINK."

AHA! HMM. MMM, WELL,

NO, I'M SERIOUSLY
JET-LAGGED.

OH, I'M GONNA CATCH A FEW Z's
IN YOUR GUEST ROOM.

NO, I DON'T--
OH, OH, OH!

AND THIS BAG IS FULL
OF THE GOOD STUFF

FROM THE HOMELAND.
SPROUTS! YES!

HEY, I THOUGHT YOU COULDN'T
BRING RAW AGRICULTURE

INTO THE COUNTRY.
YOU CAN, IF YOU'RE
A DIPLOMATIC ATTACHé.

NIGHTY-NIGHT.
(giggles)

(sighs)

OKAY, UH, BIG,
BOLD SPROUT FLAVORS.

FINE. SUPPORTING CAST, UH,

SINCE THEY SHARE A LOT
OF THE SAME CHEMISTRY,

WE'LL ADD SOME MUSTARD SEED.
NOPE, NOPE, TOO SUBTLE--

DRY MUSTARD.

AND OVER HERE, WE NEED
AN AROMATIC THAT CAN PLAY NICE

WITH THE SPROUTS'
NATURAL FUNK FACTOR.

SOMETHING THAT CAN STAND UP
TO THE SPROUT,

MAYBE SWEETENS WHILE IT COOKS,
UH, GARLIC!

GARLIC WILL BE GOOD.
SALT, FOR SURE.

WE'LL SEE ABOUT PEPPER LATER.

NOW WE NEED A COOKING METHOD.

WE SHOULD PROBABLY AVOID WATER,
WHICH CAN WASH AWAY FLAVORS

WHILE CREATING NEW ONES
WE DON'T NECESSARILY WANT.

UH, RIGHT, SO INSTEAD OF WATER,

WE'LL GO WITH OIL, OLIVE OIL.

AND AS FOR A HEAT SOURCE,

HEY, HEY, WAIT.
WAIT--WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU KNOW,

I'VE NEVER FIRED THE GRILL
FOR A CABBAGE BEFORE,

BUT IT KIND OF MAKES SENSE,
ESPECIALLY IF YOU DON'T CARE

FOR THE AROMA OF BRASSICAS
IN THE KITCHEN.

SO I'M GONNA GO
WITH MEDIUM HEAT HERE.

AFTER ALL, WE'RE NOT EXACTLY
SEARING A T-BONE.

AND NOW WHILE THIS WARMS UP,

I THINK WE SHOULD WARM UP
THE SPROUTS, AS WELL.

PREP 1 POUND OF SPROUTS,

TRIMMING THE STEM ENDS

AND REMOVING ONLY
YELLOW OUTER LEAVES.

NOW IF YOU'VE GOT REALLY BIG,
HONKING BRUSSELS SPROUTS,

YOU'LL HAVE TO CUT THEM IN HALF.
BUT THESE ARE PRETTY SMALL,

SO I'M GONNA LEAVE THEM WHOLE.

JUST MAKE SURE THEY'RE
AS UNIFORM AS POSSIBLE.

PLACE IN A LARGE
MICROWAVE-SAFE MIXING BOWL

AND ZAP ON HIGH
FOR THREE MINUTES.

(microwave timer beeping)

NOW LET THESE COOL
FOR A FEW MINUTES

BEFORE CONTINUING.

AS FOR THE PASTE,
WE WILL WHISK TOGETHER

1 TEASPOON
OF DRY MUSTARD POWDER,

AND I THINK MAYBE SOME PAPRIKA
WOULD BE NICE--

A TEASPOON, SMOKED,
IF YOU'VE GOT IT.

A TABLESPOON OF MINCED GARLIC.
THERE THAT GOES,

2 TABLESPOONS OF OLIVE OIL
WILL BE ABOUT ENOUGH

AND OF COURSE, SALT AND PEPPER--
1 TEASPOON OF THE FIRST

AND 1/4 TEASPOON OF THE SECOND.

ONCE THAT IS TOGETHER, GRAB
YOUR FAVORITE METAL SKEWERS,

THREAD FIVE ORBS ON EACH ONE,

LEAVING AT LEAST
AN INCH OF SPACE.

DAB ON THE GOODNESS AND BRING
THOSE TO A MEDIUM-HOT GRILL.

YOU'RE GONNA LET THOSE COOK
FOR ABOUT FIVE MINUTES

AND TURN A QUARTER TURN,
REPEAT AND TURN,

REPEAT AND TURN
UNTIL THEY'RE GOLDEN BROWN

AND DELICIOUS
ALL THE WAY AROUND.

(mouthing words)

GRIND ON PLENTY
OF BLACK PEPPER

AND SERVE HOT,
RIGHT ON THE SKEWER.

I'M TELLING YOU, YOU CAN'T GET
MORE SPROUTY THAN THIS.

IT'S LIKE, WELL,
THE TASTE OF BRUSSELS

WITHOUT THE JET LAG.
OH, THAT'S A FANTASTIC
TAGLINE, BUDDY BOY.

HMM. OH, I'M
TELLING YOU, A.B.,

THIS IS THE BEGINNING
OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP.

OR PERHAPS JUST THE ENDING
OF ANOTHER "GOOD EATS."

OH, YOU WOULDN'T.

Closed Captions provided by
Scripps Networks, LLC.