Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 11, Episode 12 - Puff the Magic Mallow - full transcript



OUR FOOD CULTURE
IS FULL OF DELICACIES

THAT FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER

HAVE FALLEN FROM THE APEX
OF GOURMET DELICACY

TO THE NADIR
OF POLY BAD PABULUM.

TAKE, FOR INSTANCE,
MARSHMALLOWS.

YOU KNOW, IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE

THAT THESE FACTORY-FORMED
GLUEY GOBS

DESTINED FOR FLAMING TWIGS

WERE ORIGINALLY
HANDMADE MASTERWORKS

FORMED ONE AT A TIME



IN THE FINEST CONFECTIONARY
SHOPS OF PARIS.

THOSE MARSHMALLOWS,

OR, UH, PâTE GUIMAUVE,
I BELIEVE,

POSSESSED SUBTLE FLAVORS,

BEAUTIFUL TEXTURES

AND HEADY PERFUMES,

BUT, NOPE, NO MORE.

NOPE. YEARS OF MEDIOCRITY
HAVE DEADENED OUR PALATES

AND HARDENED OUR HEARTS

TO THIS MAGNIFICENT
MANIFESTATION.

FINE WITH YOU?

OKAY, NO PROBLEM.

WELL, IT'S NOT ALL RIGHT
WITH ME, OKAY?

IT'S TIME FOR ALL
TRUE MARSHMALLOW LOVERS



TO RISE UP
AND TAKE BACK THE CANDY THAT,

PERHAPS MORE THAN ANY OTHER,
QUALIFIES AS...

¶

Closed Captions provided
by Scripps Networks, LLC.

Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.

YOU KNOW,
WE'VE BECOME SO SEPARATED

FROM OUR TRADITIONAL FOODWAYS

THAT FOLKS DON'T EVEN REMEMBER
THAT ONCE UPON A TIME,

MARSHMALLOWS GREW ON BUSHES.

AH, LET'S SEE.

NO.

AH.

MMM.

YOU KNOW,
THERE'S NOTHIN' QUITE LIKE

A WARM, FRESHLY PICKED
MARSHMALLOW.

OKAY, MARSHMALLOWS DON'T
ACTUALLY GROW ON BUSHES, OKAY?

BUT IF IT WEREN'T FOR A PLANT
CALLED THE MARSHMALLOW,

WE WOULD NEVER HAVE
ANY MARSHMALLOWS.

IN FACT,
I'M HERE IN THIS SWAMP--

IT'S A MARSH, NOT A SWAMP.

WHY CAN'T YOU WAIT
FOR YOUR CUE?

NUTRITIONAL ANTHROPOLOGIST--
IT'S EASY.
BECAUSE YOU TAKE TOO LONG
GETTING TO IT.

NOW GET PADDLING. I SAW SOME
OUT THERE AT THAT CANAL.

IT'S RIGHT OVER THERE.

ALL RIGHT,
KEEP YOUR PANTS ON.

YOU COULD DO THIS,
TOO, YOU KNOW.

¶

BEHOLD THE MARSHMALLOW.

WOW, IT LOOKS--

IT LOOKS SO, UH, DEAD.

WELL, THAT MEANS THERE'S
PROBABLY PLENTY OF MUCILAGE

IN THE ROOTS.
HEY, WHA--

AS YOU KNOW, PLATINA,

IN HIS CLASSIC 15th-CENTURY
COOKING TREATISE...

YOU MEAN, OF COURSE,

"DE HONESTA VOLUPTATE
ET VALETUDINE."

"ON RIGHT PLEASURE
AND GOOD HEALTH."

THAT'S WHAT I SAID.

DEVOTES AN ENTIRE CHAPTER
TO MALLOW

AND ITS USUAL
APPLICATIONS,

MOST OF WHICH
WERE MEDICINAL.

YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER
THAT BACK IN THOSE DAYS,

MALLOW ROOT EXTRACT WAS
USED TO TREAT EVERYTHING

FROM SORE THROATS
TO URINARY TRACT INFECTIONS.

BUT TO MAKE THIS ONE
INTO CANDY,

WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO BOIL IT,

STRAIN IT, BOIL IT AGAIN
WITH SUGAR AND WHIP IT.

WELL, THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN.

OF COURSE, THE REASON FOR ALL
THAT IS THAT THE MUCILAGE,

THE SAP INSIDE THE ROOTS,

IS PACKED FULL OF PROTEINS
AND POLYSACCHARIDES,

WHICH WILL PROVIDE STABILITY
TO THE MARSHMALLOW CANDY.

LUCKILY, THERE ARE OTHER WAYS
TO SKIN THAT CHEMICAL CAT.

A PROCESSED EXTRACT
OF THE ACACIA TREE

CALLED GUM ARABIC

HAS BEEN USED TO STABILIZE
COMMERCIAL MARSHMALLOWS

FOR CLOSE TO 100 YEARS,

BUT WHAT NORMAL KITCHEN
IS GONNA HAVE GUM ARABIC?

LUCKILY, GELATIN,

WHICH IS A PROTEIN

DERIVED FROM CONNECTIVE
TISSUE INSIDE ANIMALS,

CAN DO THE JOB,

AND IT'S A LOT EASIER TO FIND.

NOW GELATIN IS HANDY STUFF
TO BE SURE,

BUT IT DOES NOT LIKE
TO DISSOLVE IN HOT LIQUID

UNLESS IT IS SOAKED
IN COLD LIQUID FIRST.

WE CALL THAT BLOOMING.

SO I HAVE HERE
THREE ENVELOPES' WORTH,

AND THAT'S A TOTAL
OF 3/4 OF AN OUNCE.

AND WE'LL SIMPLY POUR OVER
HALFF UP O CCOLD WATER.

AND WE'LL LET THAT SIT

AND KIND OF PERCOLATE
FOR A FEW MINUTES.

OH, AND MAKE SURE YOU'VE GOT
YOUR WHISK ATTACHMENT

ON YOUR MIXER.

WE'RE GONNA NEED THAT.

NOW AS TO SYRUP CONSTRUCTION--
HERE'S HOW IT GOES.

ANOTHER HALF CUP OF WATER

GOES INTO A SMALL SAUCEPAN

ALONG WITH A CUP
AND A HALF OF SUGAR.

IT'S ABOUT 12 OUNCES BY WEIGHT.

1 CUP OF CORN SYRUP.

I LIKE TO USE A PLUNGER
FOR THAT STICKY STUFF.

AND A QUARTER TEASPOON
OF KOSHER SALT.

WE PUT THAT TO MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT

AND COVER FOR THREE
TO FOUR MINUTES

OR JUST UNTIL THE SUGAR
REALLY STARTS TO DISSOLVE.

NOW WHAT'S GOING ON IN HERE?

OKAY, CANDY MAKING,

WITH THE POSSIBLE EXCEPTION
OF CHOCOLATE WORK,

IS ALL ABOUT CONTROLLING
THE CONCENTRATION

OF SUGAR SYRUPS.

DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE MAKING
NOUGATS OR LOLLIPOPS,

TAFFY, TOFFEE, FUDGE,

CARAMEL SAUCE OR MARSHMALLOWS.

IT'S ALL ABOUT HOW MUCH SUGAR
IS IN THAT SOLUTION.

NOW CENTURIES
OF EXPERIMENTATION

HAVE RENDERED
A SEMI-RELIABLE GUIDE

CALLED THE BALL SYSTEM

BASED ON THE FACT THAT SYRUPS
OF DIFFERENT CONCENTRATIONS

ACT DIFFERENTLY WHEN DROPPED
INTO COLD WATER.

SOME FORM THREADS.

A LITTLE MORE CONCENTRATED,

THEY MAKE DIFFERENT
KINDS OF BALLS,

AND THEN, FINALLY,
YOU'VE GOT YOUR CRACK STAGES.

KIND OF TOUGH TO INTERPRET.

LUCKILY, WE DON'T HAVE TO,

BECAUSE SOMEONE
FIGURED IT ALL OUT

IN PLAIN, GOOD OLD-FASHIONED
FAHRENHEIT.

NOW YOU CAN SEE THAT AT 240,
OUR MARSHMALLOWS--

THAT'S THE SAME AS FUDGE--
AND THAT'S, UH...

I DON'T KNOW. WHAT IS THAT,
UH, SOFTBALL STAGE, I THINK?

RIGHT. I DON'T HAVE
TO THINK ABOUT IT, THOUGH,

BECAUSE I'VE GOT A THERMOMETER.

NOW AT SEA LEVEL,

WATER BOILS
AT 212 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT,

BUT AS THE WATER BOILS
OUT OF A SOLUTION

AND THAT SOLUTION
BECOMES MORE CONCENTRATED,

THE BOILING POINT GOES UP,

SO ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS BOIL THIS

UNTIL ENOUGH WATER
LEAVES THE PAN

FOR THE REMAINING SOLUTION
TO HIT 240 DEGREES.

NOW, UH, THAT'S A SNAP

AS LONG AS YOU'RE IN POSSESSION

OF A CANDY THERMOMETER
LIKE THIS.

NOW BY MY CALCULATIONS,

WELL, I THINK WE'RE TALKIN'
SEVEN TO EIGHT MINUTES HERE.

ALL RIGHT, 230. WE'VE STILL
GOT 10 DEGREES TO GO.

THAT GIVES US JUST ENOUGH TIME

TO CONSIDER ONE
OF THE UNSUNG HEROES

OF THIS BUBBLY ELIXIR.

CORN SYRUP IS
THE CANDY MAKER'S FRIEND,

BECAUSE IT CAN PREVENT
REGULAR SUGAR--

THAT IS, SUCROSE MOLECULES--

FROM GROWING TOGETHER

AND FORMING BIG
CRUNCHY CRYSTALS,

WHICH IS WHAT THEY WANT TO DO,

ESPECIALLY IN A POT

THAT IS SLOWLY HAVING ALL
OF ITS WATER COOKED OUT OF IT.

NOW CORN SYRUP PREVENTS THIS
BECAUSE IT'S NOT SUCROSE

AND CAN'T GROW CRYSTALS WITH IT

EVEN THOUGH IT'S MADE
FROM THE SAME STUFF AS SUGAR.

HOW IS THAT?

WELL, IT ALL STARTS WITH CORN.


WELL, IT ALL STARTS WITH CORN.

CORN. OF COURSE, THE PROBLEM IS

IS NO MATTER HOW
DELICIOUS IT IS,

SWEET CORN REALLY
ISN'T THAT SWEET,

BECAUSE IT DOESN'T REALLY
CONTAIN THAT MUCH SUGAR.

WHAT IT CONTAINS
IS A LOT OF STARCH.

NOW IF YOU'RE A FAN
OF THIS SHOW,

YOU'LL RECOGNIZE
THAT A STARCH MOLECULE

IS JUST A LONG CHAIN

OF SINGLE SUGARS
CALLED GLUCOSES,

WHICH ARE MADE UP OF,

WELL, AA BATTERIES IN THIS CASE.

SO IF A STARCH IS 100% SUGAR,
WHICH IT ESSENTIALLY IS,

THEN IT OUGHTA
TASTE SWEET, RIGHT?

TO FIND OUT, LET'S
CONSULT THE HUMAN TONGUE

AND ONE OF ITS THOUSANDS
UPON THOUSANDS OF TASTE BUDS.
HI. HI. HI. HI. HI.

GIVE THIS A TRY, SIR.
OKAY. OKAY. LET ME SEE.

(spits it out)
TASTES LIKE LIBRARY PASTE.

YOU WANT ME TO EAT
THAT STUFF AGAIN?

(chuckles) CHARMING.
HE'S RIGHT, THOUGH.

MAE HUTHN TONGUE SIMPLY
CANNOT RECOGNIZE

A MOLECULE OF THIS
SHAPE AND SIZE.

HOWEVER, IF WE WERE
TO CONJURE UP

A LITTLE CULINARY MAGIC,

SAY, A LITTLE ACID
AND PERHAPS A BIT OF HEAT,

WE MIGHT BE ABLE
TO CHANGE THIS MOLECULE.

OH, AAH!

SEE, SCIENCE IS FUN.

NOW WE'VE BROKEN UP
THIS BIG STARCH

INTO SMALL LITTLE GLUCOSES.

GIVE THAT A TRY.

HUH? HUH?

SWEETER, YEAH.
BUT SWEET? NO.

WELL, THAT'S TRUE.

GLUCOSE ISN'T TYPICALLY
SENSED AS BEING THAT SWEET,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF WE WERE TO CONJURE UP
THE CULINARY MAGIC

YET ONE MORE TIME,

THIS TIME IN THE FORM
OF ENZYMES...

AAH!

THAT HAS GOT TO BE
THE LAMEST SCIENTIFIC METAPHOR

I'VE EVER TASTED!

HEY, YOU WANT TO SPRING

FOR A SCALE MODEL
OF AN ENZYME?

MNH-MNH.
HMM? YEAH,
I DIDN'T THINK SO.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS
IS THAT BY CHANGING

SOME OF THE GLUCOSE INTO
A MUCH SWEETER FRUCTOSE

AND BY DISSOLVING THE WHOLE
THING INTO A SOLUTION,

WE PRODUCE HIGH
FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP,

WHICH CAN BE SWEET IF NOT
SWEETER THAN SUCROSE,

WHICH, BY THE WAY,

IS MADE UP OF EQUAL PORTIONS
OF GLUCOSE AND FRUCTOSE.

HOW IS IT?
OH, BABY.
NOW THAT'S SWEET!

BUT I GOTTA TELL YA--THAT
FLYIN' MONKEY STUFF? LAME!

(mumbling loudly)

OH, WHAT'S THE MATTER?
CAT GOT YOUR TONGUE?

(chuckles) NICE TOUCH.

I LIKE THAT. (laughs)

(yelling indistinctly)

WELL, EIGHT MINUTES
HAVE GONE BY,

AND, SURE ENOUGH,

WE ARE AT 240 DEGREES.

KILL THE HEAT.

THERMOMETER OUT,

AND I'M GONNA GRAB
A LITTLE HEAT PROTECTION.

I'LL TAKE THIS STRAIGHT
OVER TO THE MIXER.

OBVIOUSLY, THIS IS A LOT LIKE
KINDA CULINARY NAPALM,

SO YOU WANT TO BE VERY CAREFUL.

OOH, TAKE A LOOK HERE.

WE CAN SEE THAT OUR GELATIN
HAS THOROUGHLY BLOOMED.

WE'RE IN GOOD SHAPE THERE.

SNAP THAT INTO PLACE.

TURN THE MIXER TO STIR,

AND I'M GONNA POUR THE SYRUP.

I'M AIMING FOR THE SIDE
OF THE BOWL, NOT THE BEATERS.

VERY SLOWLY DOWN THE SIDE
OF THE BOWL.

RESPECT THE SYRUP.

NOW THE NAME OF THE GAME HERE
IS AIR.

WE WANT TO GET AS MUCH AIR
INTO THIS AS POSSIBLE.

SO ONCE THE SYRUP IS SAFELY IN,

CRANK UP THE SPEED TO HIGH.

NOW IT'S GOING TO TAKE
A MINIMUM OF 13 MINUTES

TO BLOW AS MANY BUBBLES
AS WE WANT INTO THIS SYRUP.

IN FACT, 13 MINUTES

WILL RENDER A RELATIVELY
SOFT MARSHMALLOW.

I LIKE MINE A LITTLE STIFFER,

SO I'M GONNA GO WITH 15 MINUTES

AT HIGH.

EITHER WAY, YOUR PATIENCE
WILL BE REWARDED.

OF COURSE, WHEN YOUR MIXTURE
IS ONE MINUTE FROM DONE,

ADD 1 TEASPOON
OF VANILLA EXTRACT.

THERE.

NEEDLESS TO SAY,

AIR-WHIPPED SUGAR SYRUP
IS PRETTY STICKY STUFF,

SO PROPER PAN PREP IS CRITICAL.

NOW I LIKE TO USE
A METAL 9x13 PAN,

BECAUSE GLASS PANS TEND TO BE
MORE ROUNDED IN THE CORNERS,

AND I WANT A NICE SHARP SHAPE.

SO WE'LL HIT THAT
WITH SOME NO-STICK SPRAY.

UNFORTUNATELY,
THAT IS NOT ENOUGH.

I HAVE HERE 1/4 CUP EACH

CONFECTIONERS' SUGAR
AND CORNSTARCH,

AND WE'RE GONNA NEED THAT
A COUPLE TIMES IN THIS PROCESS.

I'M GONNA JUST DUST
SOME OF THAT IN.

COVER WITH ALUMINUM FOIL

AND SHAKE TO COAT.

PERFECT.

AND WE ARE DONE.

WHAT WAS ONCE JUST KIND OF
A FLAT LITTLE PUDDLE OF GOO

IS NOW A BIG FLUFFY
WHITE BALL OF GOODNESS.

AND, OF COURSE,
THE REASON IS AIR.

THIS IS PRETTY MUCH LIKE,
WELL, MAKING A MERINGUE,

ONLY THE CANDY VERSION.

NOW I DON'T WANT
TO WASTE ANY OF THIS,

BUT BY THE SAME TOKEN,

I KNOW THAT I'M NOT GONNA
GET IT ALL OUT OF HERE.

IT'S TOO GOSH-DARN STICKY.

IT WOULD HELP
IF I USED A SPATULA

THAT WAS PROPERLY LUBED.

I'M GONNA FALL ON THAT SPOT.
I JUST KNOW IT.

NOW I'M JUST GONNA GET
THAT OUT INTO OUR PAN

AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE,

AND IT IS A REAL MESS,

BECAUSE IT IS SO STICKY.

IF YOU GET IT ON YOU, ODDS ARE
YOU WILL NEVER GET IT OFF.

YOU CAN SEE IT'S
ALREADY STARTING TO SET

THE SECOND THAT AGITATION STOPS.

THERE. NOW JUST SMOOTH
IT OUT BEST YOU CAN.

WE'RE NOT LOOKING FOR IT
TO BE VERY ATTRACTIVE.

KINDA PUSH IT INTO THE CORNERS.

YOU CAN SEE IT'S ALREADY
STICKING TO THE SPATULA

AND MOVING AROUND LIKE
ONE BIG SHEET OF GOOEYNESS.

THERE.

THIS PART--WELL, I'M SORRY.

YOU'RE JUST--YOU'RE JUST
GONNA HAVE TO LICK THAT OFF

AT SOME LATER DATE.

NOW SPRINKLE WHATEVER REMAINING

CONFECTIONERS' SUGAR
AND CORNSTARCH YOU HAVE.

ACTUALLY, YOU DON'T WANT
TO USE ALL OF IT.

WE'LL NEED A LITTLE BIT MORE
WHEN WE TURN THESE OUT.

NOW ALLOW THIS TO COOL
TO ROOM TEMPERATURE,

AND THEN JUST RECOVER

WITH THE ALUMINUM FOIL
WE USED ON THE PAN EARLIER.

AT LEAST FOUR HOURS MUST PASS
BEFORE YOU DIVE INTO THESE.

OVERNIGHT WOULD BE BETTER,

BUT IF YOU'RE ANYTHING LIKE ME,

YOU'RE NOT GONNA
BE ABLE TO WAIT.

WELL, IT'S BEEN THREE HOURS
AND (mumbles) MINUTES,

AND WE'RE READY
TO DE-PAN OUR MARSHMALLOWS,

SO IF WE PLAYED OUR CARDS RIGHT,

THESE SHOULD FLIP RIGHT OUT.

SO A LITTLE BIT MORE DUSTING
ON THE BOTTOM,

AND WE WILL CUT,

NOT WITH A KNIFE,

BUT WITH MY FAVORITE
PIZZA CUTTER.

WE'RE GONNA WORK IN STRIPS
ABOUT AN INCH WIDE.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT GETTING THESE PERFECT.

PERFECT IS FOR FACTORIES.

YOU WANT THAT OLD-WORLD
HAND-CUT LOOK.

THERE. NOW LINE 'EM
BACK UP AGAIN.

SURE SIGN OF HAND-CUT
MARSHMALLOWS--THE SQUARE.

SO WE STILL GOT SOME PRETTY
STICKY EDGES ON THEM,

SO WHAT I'M GONNA DO--

DUST ON A LITTLE BIT
MORE SUGAR AND CORNSTARCH,

AND THEN JUST KIND OF
BREAK THEM UP

AND TOSS THEM AROUND
ON THE BOARD.

NOW'S A GOOD TIME
TO CONTEMPLATE STORAGE.

ALTHOUGH TINS
WOULD BE TRADITIONAL,

I LIKE GALLON-SIZE ZIP-TOP BAGS.

KEPT IN PANTRY, YOU CAN
PROBABLY STORE THESE

FOR TWO, MAYBE THREE WEEKS.

I KNOW, NOT AS LONG AS YOU MIGHT
KEEP FACTORY-MADE MARSHMALLOWS,

BUT TRUST ME.

WHAT THEY DON'T HAVE
IN LONGEVITY,

THEY MAKE UP FOR IN FLAVOR.

NOW JUST LOOK AT THAT,
WOULD YOU? BEAUTIFUL SIGHT.

OF COURSE,
HOMEMADE MARSHMALLOWS

CAN ALSO BE USED AS INGREDIENTS
IN RUSTY OLD CLASSICS

LIKE THE PUFFED RICE TREAT.

BRINGS IT TO WHOLE NEW HEIGHTS,
BELIEVE ME.

OR YOU COULD CUT YOUR
MARSHMALLOWS INTO SMALL CUBES

AND FLOAT THEM ON TOP
OF "GOOD EATS" PATENTED COCOA.

MMM. APRèS-SKI.

OF COURSE,
IF YOU REALLY WANT TO COMMIT

TO THE MINI MARSHMALLOW FORMAT,

YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE
ADVANTAGE OF EXTRUSION.

JUST LOAD UP
YOUR MARSHMALLOW MIX

IN A PIPING BAD FITTED
WITH A WIDE ROUND TIP,

AND INSTEAD OF DUSTING
A 9x13 PAN,

YOU WOULD LUBE AND DUST A PIECE
OF PARCHMENT PAPER

ON A SHEET PAN

AND JUST LAY OUT NICE
LONG LINES LIKE THIS.

AS SOON AS YOU HAVE FOUR OR FIVE
NICE WHITE ROPES LINED OUT,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO HIT THE TOPS

WITH YOUR SUGAR/STARCH MIXTURE
FOR NO STICKING LATER.

LET THIS SET UP
FOR ABOUT FOUR HOURS

AND SNIP THE SCISSORS.

OF COURSE,
ONCE YOU GET INTO EXTRUSION,

IT'S KIND OF LIKE BEING
IN THE PLASTICS INDUSTRY.

YOU CAN MAKE ANYTHING YOU WANT

AS LONG AS YOU'VE GOT
A SUITABLE MOLD

THAT'S FOOD-SAFE, OF COURSE.

CHECK THIS OUT.
I GOT THIS AT A LOCAL JUNK SHOP.

IT IS NOTHING
BUT AN OLD-FASHIONED,

TIN-LINED CHOCOLATE
EASTER BUNNY MOLD.

SO WHAT WE DO IS WE SPRAY
THAT UP WITH A LITTLE LUBE,

WHICH WE HAVE ALREADY DONE,

AND LAY HER OUT, AND FILL HER UP
WITH THE WHITE STUFF.

JUST GET EVERYTHING.

KINDA WORK IT DOWN
INTO THE CREVICES.

DON'T WORRY
ABOUT BEING TOO NEAT.

THE MOLD WILL TAKE CARE
OF THE REST.

THERE. IN FOUR HOURS,

WE'LL HAVE 16 PERFECT
LITTLE BUNNIES.

THAT'S PRETTY FAST,
EVEN FOR BUNNIES.

AHH. JUST IMAGINE.

IN NO TIME, YOU'LL HAVE
YOUR OWN LITTLE BUNNY ARMY

READY TO DO YOUR BIDDING.

DON'T CARE FOR WHITE?
NOT A PROBLEM. CHECK THIS OUT.

YOU CAN EITHER
ADD FOOD COLORING

DIRECTLY TO THE MARSHMALLOW MIX,

OR YOU CAN SIMPLY ROLL
THE FINISHED BUNNIES

IN COLORED SUGAR.

MMM. I JUST LOVE RABBIT,
DON'T YOU?

NO?

FINE. LET'S SHOOT FOR THE MOON.

PLACE A STANDARD
HOUSEHOLD HEATING PAD,

SET TO HIGH,

INSIDE A LARGE MIXING BOWL,

AND THEN NESTLE ANOTHER BOWL
INTO THAT

CONTAINING A POUND

OF CHOPPED, GOOD-QUALITY
SEMISWEET CHOCOLATE.

THE GOAL HERE IS
TO MELT THE CHOCOLATE

WITHOUT HAVING IT
LOSE ITS TEMPER.

THAT IS, WE DON'T WANT IT

TO MOVE PAST
THE MYSTICAL STATE

WHERE THE MELTING POINTS

OF THE CHOCOLATE'S
POLYMORPHIC FATS ALIGN.

IN OTHER WORDS, WE WANT
TO DIP SOMETHING INTO THAT

AND HAVE IT SET UP HARD,
NOT GOOEY.

NOW WE'RE GOING TO USE
A THERMOMETER FOR THAT,

AND WE'RE GONNA SHOOT
FOR 94 DEGREES.

DON'T PASS 98.
BEYOND THERE BE DRAGONS.

NOW, MEANWHILE,
WE HAVE TWO DOZEN COOKIES.

YOU CAN USE SUGAR COOKIES,
PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES,

WHATEVER YOU LIKE.

HALF OF THOSE NEED TO GO
ONTO A COOLING RACK

SET OVER A SHEET PAN
FOR CLEANLINESS' SAKE.

AND TAKE YOUR MARSHMALLOW MIX

AND PIPE IT ONTO THE COOKIES.

BASICALLY, WE'RE JUST GONNA
BUILD A COOKIE SANDWICH HERE.

TOP IT THUSLY.

REPEAT WITH EACH COOKIE

TILL YOU'VE GOT ONE DOZEN
LITTLE SANDWICHES.

¶

BY THE TIME THE MARSHMALLOW
SANDWICHES HAVE COOLED AND SET,

THE CHOCOLATE SHOULD BE
JUST RIGHT.

GIVE IT A FEW STIRS
WITH THE OLD THERMOMETER.

WELL, 97. THAT'LL CERTAINLY DO
IF WE MOVE QUICKLY.

I'M GONNA TURN OFF THE HEAT.

NOW CAREFULLY DIP ONE SIDE
OF EACH SANDWICH THUSLY,

AND GIVE A LITTLE SPIN
ON YOUR WAY UP

AND RETURN IT TO THE RACK.

NOW WE COULD, OF COURSE,

COMPLETELY SUBMERGE
THESE DEVICES,

BUT I THINK THAT

THAT WOULD LEAVE US NOT ONLY
WITH A REALLY BIG MESS,

BUT WITH AN OVERWHELMING
AMOUNT OF CHOCOLATE.

BETTER TO SHOW
A LITTLE RESTRAINT.

MMM. DELICIOUS, AND YOU
WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO DO IT

IF IT WEREN'T FOR THE EXTRUSION
OF THE MARSHMALLOW.

NOW IF YOU GREW UP
IN THE SOUTH THE WAY I DID,

YOU'LL KNOW EXACTLY
WHAT TO CALL THIS,

BUT SINCE THAT NAME
IS COPYRIGHTED,

I'LL REMAIN MUM ON THE SUBJECT.


I'LL REMAIN MUM ON THE SUBJECT.

(with Southern accent)
NOW EVERYBODY KNOWS

THAT ZEUS AND HIS CRONIES

UP ON OLD MOUNT OLYMPUS

FROLICKED ABOUT
ALL THE LIVELONG DAY,

SIPPIN' ON NECTAR--

BRING THAT HERE, SUGAR. AHH!--

AND SNACKIN'
ON A SUCCULENT SUSTENANCE...

(gasps) CALLED AMBROSIA.

MY, BUT THAT DOES LOOK NICE.

PROBLEM IS, NONE OF THE CITIZENS

OF THIS FAIR AND LOFTY LAND

BOTHERED TO WRITE
DOWN THE RECIPE,

SO ABOUT A HUNDRED YEARS AGO,

WE SOUTHERNERS DECIDED
TO SUSS IT OUT OUR OWN SELVES.

LET'S GO ON IN THE KITCHEN.

I'LL SHOW YOU HOW. COME ON.

PUT 1/2 CUP OF HEAVY CREAM

AND A TABLESPOON OF SUGAR

IN YOUR MIXIN' BOWL

AND STICK THAT OLD
WHISKY THING ON THERE.

WHAT THEY CALL THAT,
AN ATTACHMENT?

(laughs) ANYHOW, WHIP THAT UP

UNTIL IT LOOKS JUST LIKE
A BIG OLD WHITE FLUFFY CLOUD.

WHOO!

THAT'S NOISY.

I DON'T KNOW.

WHOO! CALAMITY.

I WENT AND DOZED RIGHT OFF.

I ALMOST OVER-GUCKED OUT
THAT CREAM RIGHT THERE.

WELL, LOOK AT THAT.
I ALMOST DID THAT IN.

IT LOOKS MORE LIKE BUTTER NOW,
BUT I GUESS IT'LL BE OKAY.

WE'RE GONNA ADD 4 OUNCES
OF SOUR CREAM.

NOW YOU KNOW THAT NO MATTER
WHAT THIS TURNS OUT TO BE,

IT GONNA BE SOME KIND
OF DELICIOUS, YOU KNOW,

SO I'M GONNA JUST
STIR THAT ON IN THERE,

AND I'LL TRY NOT
TO NAP OFF THIS TIME.

I PROMISE THERE. ALL RIGHT.

NOW LET'S GET THAT OLD BOWL
OUT OF THERE, SHALL WE?

THERE. WE'RE GONNA STIR IN
SOME BITS AND PIECES

STARTING WITH 1 CUP
OF CLEMENTINE SEGMENTS.

NOW THIS HERE'S A YULETIDE DISH,
YOU KNOW,

AND THAT TIME OF YEAR,
WELL, THESE LITTLE JEWELS--

THEY JUST JUMP RIGHT UP
IN YOUR GROCERY CART.

THEY DO. I'M SERIOUS.

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL FOLLOW THAT UP

WITH A CUP EACH
OF CHOPPED PINEAPPLE.

NOW YOU KNOW FRESH IS BEST,
DON'T YA? SURE YOU DO.

SAME COULD BE SAID
OF THIS SHREDDED COCONUT.

NOW I RECALL THE FIRST ONE
OF THESE I EVER DID SEE

WHEN I WAS A BOY.

THOUGHT MY DADDY DUG UP
A YANKEE CANNONBALL

WHEN HE BROUGHT THAT
IN THE HOUSE.

NOW I KNOW WHAT
YOU'RE ALL THINKIN'.

YOU'RE GONNA BUY THAT KIND
THAT COMES IN THE BAG,

BUT YOU AIN'T GONNA DO IT.
NOPE, YOU'RE NOT GONNA.

NEXT--LET'S SEE HERE--
A CUP OF CHOPPED PECANS.

"PE-CANS," "PE-CONS,"
I DON'T CARE HOW YOU SAY IT.

AND HALF A CUP
OF MARASCHINO CHERRIES.

HAVE YOU EVER SEEN
ANYTHING SO RED?

I SUSPECT YOU HAVE NOT.

(lau F NOWs)OR
THE PIèCE DE RéSISTANCE.

WE'RE GONNA PUT IN 3 CUPS OF
HOMEMADE MINIATURE MARSHMALLOWS.

GOODNESS ME.

NOW JUST STIR THAT UP AND COME
OVER TO THE ICEBOX OVER HERE.

WELL, A COUPLE O' HOURS
OF CHILLIN',

AND THIS HUMBLE
COLLECTION OF GOODS

WILL BECOME FOOD FOR THE GODS.

NOW I KNOW IT'S GONNA BE HARD,
YOUR WAITIN',

BUT YOUR PATIENCE WILL
BE REWARDED, I RECKON.

(chuckles)

(normal voice)
WELL, THAT'S RIGHT, COLONEL.

PATIENCE IS ALMOST ALWAYS
REWARDED ON "GOOD EATS,"

AND NEVER MORE SO THAN
WHEN YOU TAKE A LITTLE TIME

TO PUT OUT A LITTLE EFFORT TO
MAKE YOUR VERY OWN MARSHMALLOWS.

SEE YA NEXT TIME ON "GOOD EATS."