Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 10, Episode 18 - Fruit Ten from Outer Space - full transcript
(police whistle blows)
OH, HEY.
WHERE TO, PAL?
UH, LaGUARDIA.
THANKS.
YOU GOT IT.
SAY, AIN'T YOU THAT GUY
WITH THE SHOW?
YEAH, MAYBE.
YEAH, YOU'RE THAT
"GOOD MEATS" GUY.
OH, ACTUALLY--
OH, MAN, I LOVE MEAT.
YOU KNOW, IF I
WASN'T A HACK,
I'D BE ONE OF THEM
PROFESSIONAL MEAT EATERS.
YEAH?
I ATE 100 CHICKEN WINGS
IN A ROW ONCE.
HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS,
BUT--
(crashing sound)
(man)
HEY! OW!
HEY! I GOT A CELEBRITY
IN HERE!
AH, TOURISTS--THEY THINK
THEY OWN THE WHOLE SIDEWALK.
YEAH.
(laughs nervously)
HEY, YOU DON'T MIND IF
I CHOW DOWN, DO YOU?
NO, NO, NO, NO.
HEY, IS THAT CORNED BEEF?
OH, YEAH,
YOU GOTTA HAVE THIS.
YEAH?
OH, YEAH.
GOOD, HUH?
MY COUSIN OWNS A DELI
DOWNTOWN...
BEST CORNED BEEF
IN THE CITY.
I DON'T CARE WHERE
YOU'RE FLYING OFF TO,
YOU AIN'T GONNA FIND BETTER
CORNED BEEF THAN THAT.
NO OFFENSE.
OH, NONE TAKEN.
BESIDES, YOU KNOW, IT WAS
HERE IN NEW YORK CITY
WHERE THEY REALLY
PERFECTED CORNED BEEF
AND THE WHOLE DELICATESSEN
CONCEPT AT THE END OF THE 19th
AND THE BEGINNING
OF THE 20th CENTURY
AMIDST ALL THAT, UH,
INTER-ETHNO CULINARY
MELTING POT.
NEVER MIND.
ALL I KNOW IS THE FURTHER
I GET AWAY FROM THIS CITY,
THE LESS LIKELY I'M GONNA
FIND A DECENT SANDWICH.
UNLESS...
UNLESS WHAT?
UNLESS YOU KNOW
HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN.
I MEAN, TAKE MY COUSIN.
THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
HEY, HE AIN'T YOUR TYPE.
NO, NO, NO. I MEAN MAKING
YOUR OWN CORNED BEEF.
IT'S REALLY NOT THAT HARD
ONCE YOU GET THE BASICS.
NO FOOLIN'?
MNH-MNH.
YOU GET THE PROPER
CUT OF MEAT,
YOU GET SOME GOOD,
SOLID TECHNIQUE
AND A LITTLE BIT OF TIME,
AND THIS IS ONE GREAT MEAT
THAT CAN BE REALLY--
AAH!
AAH!
(tires squeal)
¶
¶ GOOD EATS ¶
Closed Captions provided
by Scripps Networks, LLC.
Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
(Alton)
WHILE YOU MIGHT RUN ACROSS
A FEW CORNED RUMPS OR ROUNDS,
TRUE CORNED BEEF IS ALWAYS
MADE WITH BRISKET.
NOW THE BRISKET IS THE FRONT
PORTION OF THE BREAST THAT LIES
BETWEEN THE LEGS, RIGHT
UNDERNEATH THE CHUCK PRIMAL.
THINK OF IT AS THE STEER'S--
I DON'T KNOW, FRONT AXLE.
NOW GIVEN THE LOCATION,
IS OBVIOUSLY A WELL-WORKED
HUNK OF MUSCLE,
OR TWO MUSCLES, ACTUALLY,
AND THAT MEANS THAT THE BRISKET
IS A TOUGH BUT VERY FLAVORFUL
CUT OF MEAT,
BEST SUITED TO LONG,
SLOW COOKING METHODS,
LIKE, SAY, TEXAS BARBECUE.
BRISKET--VERY IMPORTANT
IN TEXAS.
ANOTHER PLACE YOU'LL FIND
BRISKET IS IN A JEWISH KITCHEN.
SEEMS THAT EVEN THOUGH
THE BOVINE CRITTER
IS CONSIDERED KOSHER,
CERTAIN PARTS OF IT--
EW!--ARE NOT.
WHICH ONES?
UM... IS THERE A RABBI
IN THE HOUSE?
I'M A RABBI.
OH, EXCELLENT.
TELL ME, TEACHER,
WHAT ON THIS CRITTER
ISN'T KOSHER?
WELL, ANY CUT OF BEEF
CONTAINING THE SCIATIC NERVE
AND THE ADJOINING
BLOOD VESSELS,
WHICH RUN THROUGH
THE HINDQUARTERS THERE,
IS NOT, STRICTLY
SPEAKING, KOSHER.
EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT.
WELL, THAT'S GOOD
NEWS FOR US,
BECAUSE THE BRISKET IS ABOUT
AS GOOD AS GOOD EATS GETS.
HMM, LET'S SEE.
EENY, MEENY, MINEY, MOE.
OH, MY GOOD MAN,
I NEED A BRISKET.
OKAY, WOULD YOU
LIKE A WHOLE ONE,
A POINT CUT
OR A FLAT CUT?
UM... WHAT'S
THE DIFFERENCE?
WELL...
A BRISKET IS MADE
UP OF TWO CUTS.
THERE'S THE LARGER
AND LEANER FLAT CUT
AND THEN THE TRIANGULAR-
SHAPED POINT CUT.
NOW THE POINT IS ONLY ABOUT
HALF AS BIG AS THE FLAT,
BUT BECAUSE OF ALL
THIS EXTRA FAT,
IT COOKS UP NICE
AND JUICY.
GOT IT.
SO, UM, WHICH WOULD YOU
USE FOR CORNED BEEF?
WELL, FOR CORNED BEEF,
A WHOLE BRISKET
WILL PROBABLY BE BEST,
BUT IF YOU GET A FLAT WITH
A HEALTHY DOSE OF MARBLING,
IT WILL BE VERY, VERY NICE.
I'LL TAKE IT.
EXCELLENT.
LIKE MOST LARGE HUNKS O' BEEF,
YOU CAN SAFELY STASH YOUR
BRISKET IN THE CHILL CHEST
FOR UP TO FOUR TO FIVE DAYS.
I SHOULD POINT OUT
THAT BACK WHEN CORNING BEEF
FIRST BECAME POPULAR,
THERE WERE
NO REFRIGERATORS.
(woman)
NO REFRIGERATORS?
WHY, THE LADY OF
THE REFRIGERATOR APPROACHES,
AND SHE LOOKS
KINDA MIFFED.
DID I HEAR YOU SAY,
"NO REFRIGERATORS"?
WHY, THAT'S ABSURD,
ALTON.
HOW COULD ANYONE EXIST?
WELL, THEY DID.
PROVE IT.
WELL, I'D LOVE TO,
BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN
JUST SNAP MY FINGERS
AND TRANSPORT US TO MEDIEVAL
ENGLAND OR ANYTH--
(whispering)
MILADY?
MILADY?
(normal voice)
MILADY, WHERE ARE YOU?
(gasping, coughing)
AAH!
MILADY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN A--IN A PICKLE BARREL?
I AM THINKING OF HORRIBLE
THINGS TO DO TO YOU!
BUT--AHEM, I'M SORRY,
BUT YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT,
IT KIND OF MAKES SENSE.
WHAT PART
OF MY BEING EMBALMED
IN ROTTEN BILGE WATER
MAKES ANY SENSE TO YOU?
WELL, IT'S MEDIEVAL
FOOD PRESERVATION.
GRANTED, IT'S NOT UP
TO TODAY'S STANDARD,
BUT PICKLING
AND CORNING
CERTAINLY DID GIVE
SOME PROTECTION
AGAINST FOOD SPOILAGE.
NOW I'M ALL FOR BEING
WELL PRESERVED,
BUT WHAT DOES CORN HAVE
TO DO WITH ME IN A BARREL?
AH, WELL, YOU HAVE
TO REMEMBER, BACK THEN,
CORN DIDN'T MEAN
MAIZE, THE GRAIN.
CORN REFERRED TO ANY EENSY-
BEENSY LITTLE GRANULE,
SUCH AS SALT,
SO A CORNED MEAT
WAS SIMPLY A MEAT THAT
HAD BEEN PACKED IN SALT
LONG ENOUGH FOR THE SALT TO
REPLACE SOME OF THE MOISTURE
INSIDE THE MEAT.
YOU KNOW, MICROORGANISMS
AND PARASITES DO NOT FIND SALT
TO BE VERY PLEASANT.
I FIND THIS EXTREMELY
UNPLEASANT, TOO!
YEAH, WELL, I UNDERSTAND THAT.
WELL, LOOK, I'M READY.
JUST SNAP THOSE FINGERS
AND LET'S GET GOING.
I CAN'T MOVE MY ARMS.
YOU CAN'T MOVE--
OH, OKAY.
WELL, UH...
I'LL GIVE IT A TRY!
HEY, YOU FORGOT ME!
UH... HELLO.
I AM GOING TO KILL HIM.
OUR ANCESTORS MAY HAVE BRINED
COMPLETELY FOR
PRESERVATION'S SAKE,
BUT WE MODERN ENTHUSIASTS,
WELL, FOR US, IT'S REALLY
ALL ABOUT THE PLEASURE.
BELIEVE ME, THERE IS NOTHING
LIKE THE FIRM, SALTY SMACK
OF BRINED BRISKET.
OH, LOOK! HERE COMES SOME NOW.
(cackles)
THANKS FOR COMIN'
AND MEETING ME HALFWAY.
AH, NO PROBLEM.
WELL, THERE YOU GO--
5 POUNDS OF AUTHENTIC NEW
YORK DELI-STYLE CORNED BEEF.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GONNA MAKE YOUR OWN.
OH, I AM. I AM.
IT'S JUST, IT'S NICE TO HAVE
KIND OF A BENCHMARK,
YOU KNOW, A TARGET
TO SHOOT FOR.
SO, UH,
YOU GOT SOME QUID PRO QUO
FOR YOURS TRULY?
OH, YEAH, I GOT YA
ALL SET UP.
PORK BACK RIBS--
SMOKED OLD-SCHOOL
IN A CARDBOARD BOX.
YOU GUYS GOT SOME FUNNY
WAYS OF COOKIN' DOWN HERE.
YEAH, FUNNY, BUT GOOD.
LISTEN, HAVE A SAFE
TRIP BACK, ALL RIGHT?
TAKE IT EASY.
YOU KNOW WHAT...
I WOULDN'T GO TOO FAR DOWN
THAT WAY IF I WERE YOU!
(tires squealing)
(engine revs)
(men shouting angrily)
¶
(muttering)
UM, BLACK PEPPER.
BAY, DEFINITELY.
HMM... JUNIPER,
(whispering)
AND UH, WHAT IS THAT?
CLOVE! CLOVE, YEAH.
(normal voice)
OH... THERE'S, UH--
THERE'S A LOT GOING ON IN HERE,
AND IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY,
YOU NOTICE THAT THE MEAT
IS VERY DARK PINK.
THAT IS TRADITIONAL
FOR CORNED BEEF,
AND IT MIGHT SEEM
A LITTLE BIT UNNATURAL
GIVEN WHAT THIS MEAT
HAS GONE THROUGH,
MEANING HOURS AND HOURS
OF COOKING, BUT DON'T WORRY.
IT'S POTASSIUM NITRATE--
SALTPETRE.
TRADITIONALLY, SALTPETRE WAS
USED IN THE MEAT CURING PROCESS
IN ORDER TO PREVENT
THE GROWTH OF THE, UH--
UH, THE BACTERIA
THAT CAUSE BOTULISM--
PRETTY IMPORTANT BACK IN THE DAY
BEFORE REFRIGERATION...
NOT SO MUCH NOW.
UH, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO ASK THE PHARMACIST.
EXCUSE ME, SIR?
WHAT CAN I DO
FOR YOU, YOUNG FELLOW?
I'D LIKE TO GET
SOME SALTPETRE, PLEASE.
HAVEN'T YOU HEARD?
SALTPETRE'S BAD FOR YOU.
IT'S GOT NITRATES IN IT.
WELL, THAT'S--
THAT'S TRUE.
SOME STUDIES
HAVE SUGGESTED THAT, UH,
THAT NITRATES CAN CAUSE
CANCER IN HUMANS,
WHICH IS WHY
IT'S NOT USED
IN THE MANUFACTURE
OF BACON ANYMORE,
AND ALTHOUGH I WOULD ADMIT
THAT CONSUMING LARGE AMOUNTS
OF NITRATE OR EVEN
SALT-CURED FOODS
IS PROBABLY NOT GOOD FOR YOU,
A CORNED BEEF SANDWICH
NOW AND THEN
IS NOT GONNA HURT ANYBODY.
SURE, SO SAYS YOU.
YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.
I DO?
YEAH.
YOU'RE THE BROWNS' BOY.
YOU USED TO COME IN HERE
AND--AND--AND--
AND BUY SALTPETRE
FOR SMOKE BOMBS.
NONSENSE! MY...
DAD SENT ME FOR THAT,
BECAUSE IT'S AN EXCELLENT...
STUMP REMOVER.
YEAH, AND IT'S
ALSO THE--
THE MAIN OXYGEN SUPPLYING
COMPONENT OF GUN POWDER.
HA! AND I NEVER
FORGET A FACE.
I JUST WANT TO CURE
SOME MEAT.
MAYBE YOU'RE GOING
TO MAKE A TRIP ON A WHALER
OR A MERCHANT MARINE SHIP,
YOU KNOW?
WHAT?
WELL, YOU KNOW.
OH!
THERE'S ABSOLUTELY
NO SCIENTIFIC PROOF
THAT SALTPETRE INHIBITS
THE MALE LIBIDO.
THEY USED TO GIVE IT
TO SAILORS A LONG TIME AGO
TO KEEP 'EM,
YOU KNOW, CALM.
LOOK, I JUST WANT TO CURE
SOME CORNED BEEF, OKAY?
CORNED BEEF, HUH?
YEAH, YEAH.
I HAVEN'T HAD A DECENT
CORNED BEEF SANDWICH
SINCE I MOVED
FROM BROOKLYN AGES AGO.
(whispers)
ICE AGES.
WELL, I GUESS...
IT'S OKAY.
YOU OWE ME
A CORNED BEEF SANDWICH.
OKAY, NO PROBLEM.
OH, BOY.
OF COURSE, IF YOUR PHARMACY
DOESN'T CARRY SALTPETRE,
OR YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO DEAL
WITH THAT OLD COOT,
YOU CAN BUY SALTPETRE, AS WELL
AS OTHER CURING PRODUCTS,
FROM A WIDE ARRAY
OF INTERNET SOURCES.
AND, OF COURSE, IF YOU'RE
REALLY WORRIED ABOUT NITRATES,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE IT
IN YOUR CORNED BEEF AT ALL,
BUT IT WON'T BE
THAT BEAUTIFUL ROSY PINK.
OLD COOT.
¶
NOW IT MAY BE CALLED
"CORNED" BEEF,
BUT FOR THE LAST COUPLE
HUNDRED YEARS AT LEAST,
CORNED BEEF HAS BEEN
PICKLED IN A BRINE.
NOW, OF COURSE, A BRINE'S
REALLY NOTHING MORE
THAN SOME WATER, SOME SALT,
MAYBE A LITTLE BIT OF SUGAR,
BUT IN OUR CASE IT'LL BE JUST
A WEE BIT MORE ELABORATE.
I HAVE HERE
2 QUARTS OF WATER,
WHICH I HAVE PLACED
OVER HIGH HEAT.
TO THAT WE WILL ADD...
NOW IF YOU USE
A DIFFERENT SALT,
SAY JUST TABLE SALT
OR PICKLING SALTS,
YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO WEIGH IT
BECAUSE IT TAKES UP LESS SPACE.
VOLUMETRICALLY, YOU'RE
LOOKING FOR, UH,
JUST UNDER 10 OUNCES.
WE'RE ALSO GOING TO ADD...
LIGHT OR DARK--
DOES NOT REALLY MATTER.
AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST...
NOW AS I SAID BEFORE,
THIS IS AN OPTIONAL INGREDIENT,
BUT I LIKE THAT PINK COLOR,
SO I AM GONNA GO FOR IT.
SINCE OUR BRINE IS GOING
TO DEEPLY PENETRATE OUR MEAT,
I SEE NO REASON NOT
TO, UH, YOU KNOW,
SEND A FEW EXTRA SPICES
ALONG FOR THE RIDE.
LET'S SAY, WELL...
WE'LL BREAK THAT
INTO SEVERAL PIECES.
MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW...
MAYBE...
WHEW. THAT OUGHTA DO IT.
KILL THE HEAT WHEN THE SALT AND
SUGAR HAVE THOROUGHLY DISSOLVED,
ADD YOUR SPICES,
AND LET THE LIQUID COOL.
CAN YOU SMELL IT?
(inhales deeply)
WOW, WHAT AN AROMA, HUH?
OH, I'M SORRY.
YOU CAN'T SMELL IT.
OH, WELL. IT'S TIME
TO CHILL THIS DOWN,
AND WE ALSO NEED
TO ADD MORE WATER,
SO I HAVE HERE...
THAT IS 1 QUART OF WATER FROZEN,
OF COURSE.
THAT WILL GO IN,
AND IF YOU WANT TO SPEED
THINGS UP EVEN MORE,
JUST PARK THE WHOLE THING
IN A SINK FULL OF COLD WATER.
THE PICKLING PROCESS
IS GOING TO TAKE TEN DAYS
HERE IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR,
SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO MAKE SOME SPACE.
AS FAR AS CONTAINMENT,
ONCE THE BRINE HAS COOLED DOWN,
I PUT IT AND THE MEAT IN
A ZIP-TOP BAG--2-GALLON RANGE.
OF COURSE, THESE
CAN SPRING A LEAK,
SO YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO PUT
THAT IN SOME KIND OF PAN
OR OTHER
APPROPRIATE CONTAINMENT,
AND IF A LID IS PRESENT,
THAT WOULD ALSO BE A GOOD IDEA.
NOW EVERY COUPLE OF DAYS,
I'M GONNA FLIP THE BAG OVER
JUST TO MAKE SURE
THAT THE BRINE CONCENTRATION
REMAINS CONSISTENT.
¶
WHEN THE TEN DAYS ARE UP, REMOVE
THE BRISKET FROM THE BRINE,
THROW THE BRINE AWAY,
AND GIVE THE MEAT A GOOD RINSE
UNDER COLD WATER.
HAVE STANDING BY
IN A LARGE POT
ONE SMALL ONION QUARTERED...
...BOTH COARSELY CHOPPED.
NOW THE MEAT CAN
GO RIGHT ON TOP.
REMEMBER, THIS IS CORNED,
NOT COOKED.
SO, WE'VE GOT--
TO THAT WE'RE JUST
GONNA ADD ENOUGH WATER
TO COVER BY 1 INCH.
NOW GET THIS ON TO HIGH HEAT,
AND ALLOW IT TO COME TO A BOIL.
WHEN IT HITS A BOIL,
DROP THE HEAT TO LOW,
PUT ON THE LID AND SIMMER
FOR 2 1/2 TO 3 HOURS.
WHY SO LONG?
WELL, YOU GOTTA REMEMBER...
(cow moos)
WHERE, UH... WHERE...
(cow continues mooing)
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE FRONT
AXLE OF THE ANIMAL, REMEMBER?
(cow continues mooing)
AND THAT'S GOT A LOT OF...
OH, HUSH!
A LOT OF CONNECTIVE
TISSUE IN IT.
TO BREAK THAT DOWN
AND SOFTEN IT,
IT'S GONNA REQUIRE MOISTURE,
LOW HEAT AND TIME.
WHEN THE MEAT IS FORK TENDER,
LET IT COOL THOROUGHLY,
AND THEN SLICE
VERY THIN,
AND MAKE SURE YOU CUT
ACROSS THE GRAIN.
NOW I COULD SAY
THAT THIS IS NOTHING MORE THAN
THE ULTIMATE SANDWICH MEAT,
BUT CORNED BEEF IS MORE.
IT COULD BE THE CENTERPIECE
OF MANY, MANY A GREAT MEAL.
WHAT KIND OF MEAL?
WELL, PERHAPS WE SHOULD
SPEAK TO SOME EXPERTS.
¶
AH, CORNED BEEF
AND CABBAGE.
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T EVEN
LOOK AT THIS DISH
WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT
SAINT PATRICK'S DAY.
INDEED, THIS IS SUCH
A POPULAR DISH
ON SAINT PATTY'S,
THAT CERTAIN BISHOPS
HAVE GIVEN THE DISH
AN EXEMPTION
JUST IN CASE THE HOLIDAY FALLS
ON A FRIDAY DURING LENT.
NOW WHAT I WANT TO KNOW
IS, HOW DID THIS
BECOME SO POPULAR
WITH IRELAND?
TELL ME, FATHER.
(Irish accent)
BEATS ME.
I NEVER TOUCH THE STUFF.
IN FACT, I DON'T KNOW
ANYONE IN
IRELAND THAT DOES.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO ASK
MY FRIEND DOWN THERE.
HE KNOWS A THING
OR TWO ABOUT BRISKET.
OKAY.
SO, WHAT DO
YOU SAY, RABBI?
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
YOU GOT ME.
SO I'M OCCASIONALLY FOND
OF BRISKET, BUT LISTEN--
THIS WHOLE CORNED BEEF THING?
NO IDEA.
FOR THE WHOLE TRUTH, YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO ASK HER.
WELL, SHE'S GONNA HAVE TO BE
A NUTRITIONAL ANTHROPOLOGIST
TO BE ANY--
(gasps)
ACTUALLY, ALTON, EATING
CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE
ON SAINT PATTY'S DAY IS REALLY
MORE AMERICAN THAN IRISH,
BECAUSE THE IRISH PROBABLY
NEVER EVEN SAW CORNED BEEF
BEFORE THEY GOT HERE.
THEY WERE LOOKING FOR
A SUITABLE SUBSTITUTE
FOR THEIR TRADITIONAL
BACON JOINT.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT
THE RABBI HERE?
WELL, THEY COULDN'T
FIND IT HERE,
SO THEY WERE LOOKING
FOR A SUBSTITUTE,
AND THEY HAD THESE
NEW JEWISH NEIGHBORS
WHO WERE ENJOYING
THIS CORNED BEEF,
AND IT WAS ACCESSIBLE
AND AFFORDABLE,
AND TO THIS DAY,
THE BEST CORNED BEEF
COMES FROM NEW YORK CITY.
(all)
NEW YORK CITY?!
SIT DOWN, HAL!
MEANTIME,
BACK IN IRELAND,
CORNED BEEF NEVER
COULD BE POPULAR,
BECAUSE BOTH BEEF AND
SALT WERE VERY EXPENSIVE
FOR CENTURIES
AND ONLY AVAILABLE
TO THE VERY WEALTHY.
OKAY, WELL, DEB,
AS USUAL,
YOUR INSIGHTS
ARE, UM...
HEY, WHO WANTS
TO HEAR A JOKE?
A PRIEST, A RABBI,
AND A NUTRITIONAL
ANTHROPOLOGIST
WALK INTO A BAR...
HEY, WHERE YOU GOIN'?
COOKING A TRADITIONAL
CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE DINNER
IS A LOT LIKE JUST
COOKING CORNED BEEF,
BUT WE WANT TO UP
THE SPICES A LITTLE BIT
TO HELP BALANCE OUT
THE RELATIVELY
BLAND VEGETATION TO COME.
SO WE'LL START WITH 2 TO 2 1/2
POUNDS OF OUR CORNED,
BUT NOT COOKED, BRISKET.
TO THAT WE WILL ADD...
...AND ENOUGH WATER
TO COVER BY ABOUT AN INCH.
WE'RE GONNA CRANK
THE HEAT TO HIGH,
AND WHEN IT COMES TO A BOIL,
WE'LL DROP THE HEAT, COVER,
AND SIMMER FOR 2 TO 2 1/2 HOURS.
SO THAT SHOULD GIVE US
PLENTY OF TIME
TO DEAL WITH THE VEGGIES.
2 1/2 HOURS HAVE PASSED.
IT IS TIME FOR THE FIRST
DOSE OF VEGETATION.
WE'LL START WITH THE SLOWEST
COOKERS FIRST--
1 POUND OF PEELED
RUSSET POTATOES...
NEXT UP, CARROTS...
NOW WE'RE GONNA LET
THIS COOK UNCOVERED
FOR 15 MINUTES,
JUST TO GIVE THESE GUYS A HEAD
START IN THE COOKING PROCESS
BEFORE THE CABBAGE COMES IN.
AND NOW, FINALLY, THE CABBAGE.
I HAVE HERE...
WEIGHED ABOUT 2 POUNDS
BEFORE I TOOK THE CORE OUT.
THERE. NOW WE'RE GONNA LET THIS
COOK FOR ANOTHER 15 MINUTES,
UNCOVERED, UNTIL THE CABBAGE
AND THE POTATOES
ARE JUST FORK TENDER.
GRIND ON A LITTLE--
OR A LOT--MORE BLACK PEPPER
AND, UH, OH...
YOU MIGHT WANT TO FISH OUT
THE BAY LEAVES AT THIS POINT.
THEY'RE NOT REALLY
GOOD EATS ANYMORE.
THERE, TIME TO DIG IN.
BY THE WAY, UNLESS YOU'VE GOT
A FAMILY OF, LIKE, 37,
THERE ARE GONNA BE
LEFTOVERS FROM THIS,
AND LEFTOVER CORNED BEEF
AND CABBAGE
MEANS HASH--
BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS.
¶
THE NAME HASH COMES
FROM THE WORD HACHER,
MEANING TO SLICE
OR CHOP UP,
BUT THE DISH,
AT LEAST IN THIS COUNTRY,
IS BETTER KNOWN AS
"THE KING OF LEFTOVERS."
THE ARGUMENT COULD BE MADE
THAT THE BEST REASON
FOR COOKING CORNED BEEF
AND CORNED BEEF DINNER
IS SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE
HASH THE NEXT DAY.
NOW WE ARE GOING TO REQUIRE...
UH, LET'S SEE...
UM, LET'S SEE...
...WHICH I'VE GOT LEFT OVER
HERE, WHICH IS NICE, AND...
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DRAIN THAT.
WE'RE ALSO GONNA NEED SOME
HERBAGE, SAY...
THAT OUGHTA DO IT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
DOWN THERE, BUNNY?
THE BUTTER GOES INTO A 12-INCH
CAST-IRON SKILLET
OVER MEDIUM HEAT,
AND YES, IN THIS CASE,
THE CAST IRON REALLY, REALLY,
REALLY IS IMPORTANT.
NOW, SOON AS THIS MELTS,
WE WILL ADD THE RED BELL PEPPER,
1 CUP CHOPPED,
AND COOK JUST UNTIL IT
STARTS TO BROWN--
SAY FIVE OR SIX MINUTES.
THERE, THAT IS SOME NICE COLOR.
SO NEXT IN--THE GARLIC.
GET ALL THAT IN THERE.
STIR THAT IN.
ALL OF THE CORNED BEEF
LEFTOVERS...
THE HERBS.
MIX THOSE TOGETHER.
AND GO AHEAD AND HIT IT
WITH A FEW GOOD GRINDS
OF BLACK PEPPER.
YOU'LL PROBABLY WANT
MORE OF THAT LATER.
WHEN YOU'VE GOT IT MIXED IN,
JUST EVENLY DISTRIBUTE IT
ACROSS THE BOTTOM OF THE PAN.
AND NOW WE ARE GOING
TO REQUIRE A WEIGHT.
THAT IS RIGHT.
WE NEED TO MASH THIS DOWN.
YOU COULD USE ANYTHING FROM
A DINNER PLATE TO A--
A LID, OR IN MY CASE,
I'M JUST GONNA USE ANOTHER PAN
BECAUSE I HAVE IT NEARBY
AND THE SIZE IS RIGHT.
I'M GONNA STEAL A LITTLE BUTTER
OFF OF THIS GUY,
AND LUBE THIS UP, JUST SO THAT
THE POTATOES WON'T STICK.
PUT THAT BACK IN PLACE,
AND THIS'LL JUST
GO STRAIGHT DOWN.
I'M GONNA GIVE IT A LITTLE PUSH.
THERE WE GO.
AND LET IT COOK
FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES
OR UNTIL THE HASH
IS BROWN ON THE BOTTOM.
NOW A FEW MINUTES
IT'S HAD TO BROWN.
TAKE OFF THE PAN
AND KIND OF STIR IT UP.
WE WANT TO GET
ALL THE BROWNED STUFF ON TOP
AND ALL OF THE UNBROWNED STUFF
ON THE BOTTOM.
OUR GOAL IS TO GET AS MUCH
BROWN AS POSSIBLE.
NOW IF WE WERE TO CUT THIS UP
INTO REALLY LITTLE PIECES
AND DO THIS, WE COULD PROBABLY
FLIP IT LIKE A PANCAKE,
BUT I KIND OF LIKE IT
BIG AND CHUNKY.
THERE. NOW THE PAN
GOES BACK ON,
AND WE'LL COOK FOR ANOTHER
FIVE TO SIX MINUTES.
THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THIS DISH
IS THAT IT ONLY
MAKES ONE SERVING.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS
A BREAKFAST SO GOOD
THAT IT'S ALMOST WORTH MAKING
THE CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE
JUST FOR THE LEFTOVERS.
HELLO, MY GOOD MAN.
WELL, IF IT AIN'T
MR. CORNED BEEF.
WHAT'S COOKIN'?
FOR YOU.
WHAT DO YOU GOT THERE?
WELL, YOU KNOW,
ONE GOOD SANDWICH
DESERVES ANOTHER.
IS THAT--
YEAH, CORNED BEEF ON RYE.
I MADE THAT MYSELF.
YOU KNOW, THAT DON'T
LOOK HALF BAD.
HALF BAD? THAT'S ALL
GOOD, MY MAN.
A LITTLE TIME,
A LITTLE BRINE,
A LITTLE OLD-FASHIONED FOOD
PRESERVATION IS ALL IT TAKES.
NOT THAT WE'LL
NEED IT,
CONSIDERING HOW
FAST IT WILL GO.
NOW THAT'S--THAT'S--
I THINK THE WORDS
YOU ARE LOOKING FOR ARE
"GOOD EATS."
YEAH!
HIT IT, BUDDY.
(police whistle blows)
OH, HEY.
WHERE TO, PAL?
UH, LaGUARDIA.
THANKS.
YOU GOT IT.
SAY, AIN'T YOU THAT GUY
WITH THE SHOW?
YEAH, MAYBE.
YEAH, YOU'RE THAT
"GOOD MEATS" GUY.
OH, ACTUALLY--
OH, MAN, I LOVE MEAT.
YOU KNOW, IF I
WASN'T A HACK,
I'D BE ONE OF THEM
PROFESSIONAL MEAT EATERS.
YEAH?
I ATE 100 CHICKEN WINGS
IN A ROW ONCE.
HARDER THAN IT SOUNDS,
BUT--
(crashing sound)
(man)
HEY! OW!
HEY! I GOT A CELEBRITY
IN HERE!
AH, TOURISTS--THEY THINK
THEY OWN THE WHOLE SIDEWALK.
YEAH.
(laughs nervously)
HEY, YOU DON'T MIND IF
I CHOW DOWN, DO YOU?
NO, NO, NO, NO.
HEY, IS THAT CORNED BEEF?
OH, YEAH,
YOU GOTTA HAVE THIS.
YEAH?
OH, YEAH.
GOOD, HUH?
MY COUSIN OWNS A DELI
DOWNTOWN...
BEST CORNED BEEF
IN THE CITY.
I DON'T CARE WHERE
YOU'RE FLYING OFF TO,
YOU AIN'T GONNA FIND BETTER
CORNED BEEF THAN THAT.
NO OFFENSE.
OH, NONE TAKEN.
BESIDES, YOU KNOW, IT WAS
HERE IN NEW YORK CITY
WHERE THEY REALLY
PERFECTED CORNED BEEF
AND THE WHOLE DELICATESSEN
CONCEPT AT THE END OF THE 19th
AND THE BEGINNING
OF THE 20th CENTURY
AMIDST ALL THAT, UH,
INTER-ETHNO CULINARY
MELTING POT.
NEVER MIND.
ALL I KNOW IS THE FURTHER
I GET AWAY FROM THIS CITY,
THE LESS LIKELY I'M GONNA
FIND A DECENT SANDWICH.
UNLESS...
UNLESS WHAT?
UNLESS YOU KNOW
HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN.
I MEAN, TAKE MY COUSIN.
THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA.
HEY, HE AIN'T YOUR TYPE.
NO, NO, NO. I MEAN MAKING
YOUR OWN CORNED BEEF.
IT'S REALLY NOT THAT HARD
ONCE YOU GET THE BASICS.
NO FOOLIN'?
MNH-MNH.
YOU GET THE PROPER
CUT OF MEAT,
YOU GET SOME GOOD,
SOLID TECHNIQUE
AND A LITTLE BIT OF TIME,
AND THIS IS ONE GREAT MEAT
THAT CAN BE REALLY--
AAH!
AAH!
(tires squeal)
¶
¶ GOOD EATS ¶
Closed Captions provided
by Scripps Networks, LLC.
Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
(Alton)
WHILE YOU MIGHT RUN ACROSS
A FEW CORNED RUMPS OR ROUNDS,
TRUE CORNED BEEF IS ALWAYS
MADE WITH BRISKET.
NOW THE BRISKET IS THE FRONT
PORTION OF THE BREAST THAT LIES
BETWEEN THE LEGS, RIGHT
UNDERNEATH THE CHUCK PRIMAL.
THINK OF IT AS THE STEER'S--
I DON'T KNOW, FRONT AXLE.
NOW GIVEN THE LOCATION,
IS OBVIOUSLY A WELL-WORKED
HUNK OF MUSCLE,
OR TWO MUSCLES, ACTUALLY,
AND THAT MEANS THAT THE BRISKET
IS A TOUGH BUT VERY FLAVORFUL
CUT OF MEAT,
BEST SUITED TO LONG,
SLOW COOKING METHODS,
LIKE, SAY, TEXAS BARBECUE.
BRISKET--VERY IMPORTANT
IN TEXAS.
ANOTHER PLACE YOU'LL FIND
BRISKET IS IN A JEWISH KITCHEN.
SEEMS THAT EVEN THOUGH
THE BOVINE CRITTER
IS CONSIDERED KOSHER,
CERTAIN PARTS OF IT--
EW!--ARE NOT.
WHICH ONES?
UM... IS THERE A RABBI
IN THE HOUSE?
I'M A RABBI.
OH, EXCELLENT.
TELL ME, TEACHER,
WHAT ON THIS CRITTER
ISN'T KOSHER?
WELL, ANY CUT OF BEEF
CONTAINING THE SCIATIC NERVE
AND THE ADJOINING
BLOOD VESSELS,
WHICH RUN THROUGH
THE HINDQUARTERS THERE,
IS NOT, STRICTLY
SPEAKING, KOSHER.
EXCELLENT, EXCELLENT.
WELL, THAT'S GOOD
NEWS FOR US,
BECAUSE THE BRISKET IS ABOUT
AS GOOD AS GOOD EATS GETS.
HMM, LET'S SEE.
EENY, MEENY, MINEY, MOE.
OH, MY GOOD MAN,
I NEED A BRISKET.
OKAY, WOULD YOU
LIKE A WHOLE ONE,
A POINT CUT
OR A FLAT CUT?
UM... WHAT'S
THE DIFFERENCE?
WELL...
A BRISKET IS MADE
UP OF TWO CUTS.
THERE'S THE LARGER
AND LEANER FLAT CUT
AND THEN THE TRIANGULAR-
SHAPED POINT CUT.
NOW THE POINT IS ONLY ABOUT
HALF AS BIG AS THE FLAT,
BUT BECAUSE OF ALL
THIS EXTRA FAT,
IT COOKS UP NICE
AND JUICY.
GOT IT.
SO, UM, WHICH WOULD YOU
USE FOR CORNED BEEF?
WELL, FOR CORNED BEEF,
A WHOLE BRISKET
WILL PROBABLY BE BEST,
BUT IF YOU GET A FLAT WITH
A HEALTHY DOSE OF MARBLING,
IT WILL BE VERY, VERY NICE.
I'LL TAKE IT.
EXCELLENT.
LIKE MOST LARGE HUNKS O' BEEF,
YOU CAN SAFELY STASH YOUR
BRISKET IN THE CHILL CHEST
FOR UP TO FOUR TO FIVE DAYS.
I SHOULD POINT OUT
THAT BACK WHEN CORNING BEEF
FIRST BECAME POPULAR,
THERE WERE
NO REFRIGERATORS.
(woman)
NO REFRIGERATORS?
WHY, THE LADY OF
THE REFRIGERATOR APPROACHES,
AND SHE LOOKS
KINDA MIFFED.
DID I HEAR YOU SAY,
"NO REFRIGERATORS"?
WHY, THAT'S ABSURD,
ALTON.
HOW COULD ANYONE EXIST?
WELL, THEY DID.
PROVE IT.
WELL, I'D LOVE TO,
BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I CAN
JUST SNAP MY FINGERS
AND TRANSPORT US TO MEDIEVAL
ENGLAND OR ANYTH--
(whispering)
MILADY?
MILADY?
(normal voice)
MILADY, WHERE ARE YOU?
(gasping, coughing)
AAH!
MILADY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN A--IN A PICKLE BARREL?
I AM THINKING OF HORRIBLE
THINGS TO DO TO YOU!
BUT--AHEM, I'M SORRY,
BUT YOU KNOW,
WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT,
IT KIND OF MAKES SENSE.
WHAT PART
OF MY BEING EMBALMED
IN ROTTEN BILGE WATER
MAKES ANY SENSE TO YOU?
WELL, IT'S MEDIEVAL
FOOD PRESERVATION.
GRANTED, IT'S NOT UP
TO TODAY'S STANDARD,
BUT PICKLING
AND CORNING
CERTAINLY DID GIVE
SOME PROTECTION
AGAINST FOOD SPOILAGE.
NOW I'M ALL FOR BEING
WELL PRESERVED,
BUT WHAT DOES CORN HAVE
TO DO WITH ME IN A BARREL?
AH, WELL, YOU HAVE
TO REMEMBER, BACK THEN,
CORN DIDN'T MEAN
MAIZE, THE GRAIN.
CORN REFERRED TO ANY EENSY-
BEENSY LITTLE GRANULE,
SUCH AS SALT,
SO A CORNED MEAT
WAS SIMPLY A MEAT THAT
HAD BEEN PACKED IN SALT
LONG ENOUGH FOR THE SALT TO
REPLACE SOME OF THE MOISTURE
INSIDE THE MEAT.
YOU KNOW, MICROORGANISMS
AND PARASITES DO NOT FIND SALT
TO BE VERY PLEASANT.
I FIND THIS EXTREMELY
UNPLEASANT, TOO!
YEAH, WELL, I UNDERSTAND THAT.
WELL, LOOK, I'M READY.
JUST SNAP THOSE FINGERS
AND LET'S GET GOING.
I CAN'T MOVE MY ARMS.
YOU CAN'T MOVE--
OH, OKAY.
WELL, UH...
I'LL GIVE IT A TRY!
HEY, YOU FORGOT ME!
UH... HELLO.
I AM GOING TO KILL HIM.
OUR ANCESTORS MAY HAVE BRINED
COMPLETELY FOR
PRESERVATION'S SAKE,
BUT WE MODERN ENTHUSIASTS,
WELL, FOR US, IT'S REALLY
ALL ABOUT THE PLEASURE.
BELIEVE ME, THERE IS NOTHING
LIKE THE FIRM, SALTY SMACK
OF BRINED BRISKET.
OH, LOOK! HERE COMES SOME NOW.
(cackles)
THANKS FOR COMIN'
AND MEETING ME HALFWAY.
AH, NO PROBLEM.
WELL, THERE YOU GO--
5 POUNDS OF AUTHENTIC NEW
YORK DELI-STYLE CORNED BEEF.
I THOUGHT YOU WERE
GONNA MAKE YOUR OWN.
OH, I AM. I AM.
IT'S JUST, IT'S NICE TO HAVE
KIND OF A BENCHMARK,
YOU KNOW, A TARGET
TO SHOOT FOR.
SO, UH,
YOU GOT SOME QUID PRO QUO
FOR YOURS TRULY?
OH, YEAH, I GOT YA
ALL SET UP.
PORK BACK RIBS--
SMOKED OLD-SCHOOL
IN A CARDBOARD BOX.
YOU GUYS GOT SOME FUNNY
WAYS OF COOKIN' DOWN HERE.
YEAH, FUNNY, BUT GOOD.
LISTEN, HAVE A SAFE
TRIP BACK, ALL RIGHT?
TAKE IT EASY.
YOU KNOW WHAT...
I WOULDN'T GO TOO FAR DOWN
THAT WAY IF I WERE YOU!
(tires squealing)
(engine revs)
(men shouting angrily)
¶
(muttering)
UM, BLACK PEPPER.
BAY, DEFINITELY.
HMM... JUNIPER,
(whispering)
AND UH, WHAT IS THAT?
CLOVE! CLOVE, YEAH.
(normal voice)
OH... THERE'S, UH--
THERE'S A LOT GOING ON IN HERE,
AND IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY,
YOU NOTICE THAT THE MEAT
IS VERY DARK PINK.
THAT IS TRADITIONAL
FOR CORNED BEEF,
AND IT MIGHT SEEM
A LITTLE BIT UNNATURAL
GIVEN WHAT THIS MEAT
HAS GONE THROUGH,
MEANING HOURS AND HOURS
OF COOKING, BUT DON'T WORRY.
IT'S POTASSIUM NITRATE--
SALTPETRE.
TRADITIONALLY, SALTPETRE WAS
USED IN THE MEAT CURING PROCESS
IN ORDER TO PREVENT
THE GROWTH OF THE, UH--
UH, THE BACTERIA
THAT CAUSE BOTULISM--
PRETTY IMPORTANT BACK IN THE DAY
BEFORE REFRIGERATION...
NOT SO MUCH NOW.
UH, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO ASK THE PHARMACIST.
EXCUSE ME, SIR?
WHAT CAN I DO
FOR YOU, YOUNG FELLOW?
I'D LIKE TO GET
SOME SALTPETRE, PLEASE.
HAVEN'T YOU HEARD?
SALTPETRE'S BAD FOR YOU.
IT'S GOT NITRATES IN IT.
WELL, THAT'S--
THAT'S TRUE.
SOME STUDIES
HAVE SUGGESTED THAT, UH,
THAT NITRATES CAN CAUSE
CANCER IN HUMANS,
WHICH IS WHY
IT'S NOT USED
IN THE MANUFACTURE
OF BACON ANYMORE,
AND ALTHOUGH I WOULD ADMIT
THAT CONSUMING LARGE AMOUNTS
OF NITRATE OR EVEN
SALT-CURED FOODS
IS PROBABLY NOT GOOD FOR YOU,
A CORNED BEEF SANDWICH
NOW AND THEN
IS NOT GONNA HURT ANYBODY.
SURE, SO SAYS YOU.
YOU LOOK FAMILIAR.
I DO?
YEAH.
YOU'RE THE BROWNS' BOY.
YOU USED TO COME IN HERE
AND--AND--AND--
AND BUY SALTPETRE
FOR SMOKE BOMBS.
NONSENSE! MY...
DAD SENT ME FOR THAT,
BECAUSE IT'S AN EXCELLENT...
STUMP REMOVER.
YEAH, AND IT'S
ALSO THE--
THE MAIN OXYGEN SUPPLYING
COMPONENT OF GUN POWDER.
HA! AND I NEVER
FORGET A FACE.
I JUST WANT TO CURE
SOME MEAT.
MAYBE YOU'RE GOING
TO MAKE A TRIP ON A WHALER
OR A MERCHANT MARINE SHIP,
YOU KNOW?
WHAT?
WELL, YOU KNOW.
OH!
THERE'S ABSOLUTELY
NO SCIENTIFIC PROOF
THAT SALTPETRE INHIBITS
THE MALE LIBIDO.
THEY USED TO GIVE IT
TO SAILORS A LONG TIME AGO
TO KEEP 'EM,
YOU KNOW, CALM.
LOOK, I JUST WANT TO CURE
SOME CORNED BEEF, OKAY?
CORNED BEEF, HUH?
YEAH, YEAH.
I HAVEN'T HAD A DECENT
CORNED BEEF SANDWICH
SINCE I MOVED
FROM BROOKLYN AGES AGO.
(whispers)
ICE AGES.
WELL, I GUESS...
IT'S OKAY.
YOU OWE ME
A CORNED BEEF SANDWICH.
OKAY, NO PROBLEM.
OH, BOY.
OF COURSE, IF YOUR PHARMACY
DOESN'T CARRY SALTPETRE,
OR YOU JUST DON'T WANT TO DEAL
WITH THAT OLD COOT,
YOU CAN BUY SALTPETRE, AS WELL
AS OTHER CURING PRODUCTS,
FROM A WIDE ARRAY
OF INTERNET SOURCES.
AND, OF COURSE, IF YOU'RE
REALLY WORRIED ABOUT NITRATES,
YOU DON'T HAVE TO USE IT
IN YOUR CORNED BEEF AT ALL,
BUT IT WON'T BE
THAT BEAUTIFUL ROSY PINK.
OLD COOT.
¶
NOW IT MAY BE CALLED
"CORNED" BEEF,
BUT FOR THE LAST COUPLE
HUNDRED YEARS AT LEAST,
CORNED BEEF HAS BEEN
PICKLED IN A BRINE.
NOW, OF COURSE, A BRINE'S
REALLY NOTHING MORE
THAN SOME WATER, SOME SALT,
MAYBE A LITTLE BIT OF SUGAR,
BUT IN OUR CASE IT'LL BE JUST
A WEE BIT MORE ELABORATE.
I HAVE HERE
2 QUARTS OF WATER,
WHICH I HAVE PLACED
OVER HIGH HEAT.
TO THAT WE WILL ADD...
NOW IF YOU USE
A DIFFERENT SALT,
SAY JUST TABLE SALT
OR PICKLING SALTS,
YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO WEIGH IT
BECAUSE IT TAKES UP LESS SPACE.
VOLUMETRICALLY, YOU'RE
LOOKING FOR, UH,
JUST UNDER 10 OUNCES.
WE'RE ALSO GOING TO ADD...
LIGHT OR DARK--
DOES NOT REALLY MATTER.
AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST...
NOW AS I SAID BEFORE,
THIS IS AN OPTIONAL INGREDIENT,
BUT I LIKE THAT PINK COLOR,
SO I AM GONNA GO FOR IT.
SINCE OUR BRINE IS GOING
TO DEEPLY PENETRATE OUR MEAT,
I SEE NO REASON NOT
TO, UH, YOU KNOW,
SEND A FEW EXTRA SPICES
ALONG FOR THE RIDE.
LET'S SAY, WELL...
WE'LL BREAK THAT
INTO SEVERAL PIECES.
MAYBE, I DON'T KNOW...
MAYBE...
WHEW. THAT OUGHTA DO IT.
KILL THE HEAT WHEN THE SALT AND
SUGAR HAVE THOROUGHLY DISSOLVED,
ADD YOUR SPICES,
AND LET THE LIQUID COOL.
CAN YOU SMELL IT?
(inhales deeply)
WOW, WHAT AN AROMA, HUH?
OH, I'M SORRY.
YOU CAN'T SMELL IT.
OH, WELL. IT'S TIME
TO CHILL THIS DOWN,
AND WE ALSO NEED
TO ADD MORE WATER,
SO I HAVE HERE...
THAT IS 1 QUART OF WATER FROZEN,
OF COURSE.
THAT WILL GO IN,
AND IF YOU WANT TO SPEED
THINGS UP EVEN MORE,
JUST PARK THE WHOLE THING
IN A SINK FULL OF COLD WATER.
THE PICKLING PROCESS
IS GOING TO TAKE TEN DAYS
HERE IN YOUR REFRIGERATOR,
SO YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO MAKE SOME SPACE.
AS FAR AS CONTAINMENT,
ONCE THE BRINE HAS COOLED DOWN,
I PUT IT AND THE MEAT IN
A ZIP-TOP BAG--2-GALLON RANGE.
OF COURSE, THESE
CAN SPRING A LEAK,
SO YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO PUT
THAT IN SOME KIND OF PAN
OR OTHER
APPROPRIATE CONTAINMENT,
AND IF A LID IS PRESENT,
THAT WOULD ALSO BE A GOOD IDEA.
NOW EVERY COUPLE OF DAYS,
I'M GONNA FLIP THE BAG OVER
JUST TO MAKE SURE
THAT THE BRINE CONCENTRATION
REMAINS CONSISTENT.
¶
WHEN THE TEN DAYS ARE UP, REMOVE
THE BRISKET FROM THE BRINE,
THROW THE BRINE AWAY,
AND GIVE THE MEAT A GOOD RINSE
UNDER COLD WATER.
HAVE STANDING BY
IN A LARGE POT
ONE SMALL ONION QUARTERED...
...BOTH COARSELY CHOPPED.
NOW THE MEAT CAN
GO RIGHT ON TOP.
REMEMBER, THIS IS CORNED,
NOT COOKED.
SO, WE'VE GOT--
TO THAT WE'RE JUST
GONNA ADD ENOUGH WATER
TO COVER BY 1 INCH.
NOW GET THIS ON TO HIGH HEAT,
AND ALLOW IT TO COME TO A BOIL.
WHEN IT HITS A BOIL,
DROP THE HEAT TO LOW,
PUT ON THE LID AND SIMMER
FOR 2 1/2 TO 3 HOURS.
WHY SO LONG?
WELL, YOU GOTTA REMEMBER...
(cow moos)
WHERE, UH... WHERE...
(cow continues mooing)
WE'RE TALKING ABOUT THE FRONT
AXLE OF THE ANIMAL, REMEMBER?
(cow continues mooing)
AND THAT'S GOT A LOT OF...
OH, HUSH!
A LOT OF CONNECTIVE
TISSUE IN IT.
TO BREAK THAT DOWN
AND SOFTEN IT,
IT'S GONNA REQUIRE MOISTURE,
LOW HEAT AND TIME.
WHEN THE MEAT IS FORK TENDER,
LET IT COOL THOROUGHLY,
AND THEN SLICE
VERY THIN,
AND MAKE SURE YOU CUT
ACROSS THE GRAIN.
NOW I COULD SAY
THAT THIS IS NOTHING MORE THAN
THE ULTIMATE SANDWICH MEAT,
BUT CORNED BEEF IS MORE.
IT COULD BE THE CENTERPIECE
OF MANY, MANY A GREAT MEAL.
WHAT KIND OF MEAL?
WELL, PERHAPS WE SHOULD
SPEAK TO SOME EXPERTS.
¶
AH, CORNED BEEF
AND CABBAGE.
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T EVEN
LOOK AT THIS DISH
WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT
SAINT PATRICK'S DAY.
INDEED, THIS IS SUCH
A POPULAR DISH
ON SAINT PATTY'S,
THAT CERTAIN BISHOPS
HAVE GIVEN THE DISH
AN EXEMPTION
JUST IN CASE THE HOLIDAY FALLS
ON A FRIDAY DURING LENT.
NOW WHAT I WANT TO KNOW
IS, HOW DID THIS
BECOME SO POPULAR
WITH IRELAND?
TELL ME, FATHER.
(Irish accent)
BEATS ME.
I NEVER TOUCH THE STUFF.
IN FACT, I DON'T KNOW
ANYONE IN
IRELAND THAT DOES.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO ASK
MY FRIEND DOWN THERE.
HE KNOWS A THING
OR TWO ABOUT BRISKET.
OKAY.
SO, WHAT DO
YOU SAY, RABBI?
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
YOU GOT ME.
SO I'M OCCASIONALLY FOND
OF BRISKET, BUT LISTEN--
THIS WHOLE CORNED BEEF THING?
NO IDEA.
FOR THE WHOLE TRUTH, YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO ASK HER.
WELL, SHE'S GONNA HAVE TO BE
A NUTRITIONAL ANTHROPOLOGIST
TO BE ANY--
(gasps)
ACTUALLY, ALTON, EATING
CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE
ON SAINT PATTY'S DAY IS REALLY
MORE AMERICAN THAN IRISH,
BECAUSE THE IRISH PROBABLY
NEVER EVEN SAW CORNED BEEF
BEFORE THEY GOT HERE.
THEY WERE LOOKING FOR
A SUITABLE SUBSTITUTE
FOR THEIR TRADITIONAL
BACON JOINT.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT
THE RABBI HERE?
WELL, THEY COULDN'T
FIND IT HERE,
SO THEY WERE LOOKING
FOR A SUBSTITUTE,
AND THEY HAD THESE
NEW JEWISH NEIGHBORS
WHO WERE ENJOYING
THIS CORNED BEEF,
AND IT WAS ACCESSIBLE
AND AFFORDABLE,
AND TO THIS DAY,
THE BEST CORNED BEEF
COMES FROM NEW YORK CITY.
(all)
NEW YORK CITY?!
SIT DOWN, HAL!
MEANTIME,
BACK IN IRELAND,
CORNED BEEF NEVER
COULD BE POPULAR,
BECAUSE BOTH BEEF AND
SALT WERE VERY EXPENSIVE
FOR CENTURIES
AND ONLY AVAILABLE
TO THE VERY WEALTHY.
OKAY, WELL, DEB,
AS USUAL,
YOUR INSIGHTS
ARE, UM...
HEY, WHO WANTS
TO HEAR A JOKE?
A PRIEST, A RABBI,
AND A NUTRITIONAL
ANTHROPOLOGIST
WALK INTO A BAR...
HEY, WHERE YOU GOIN'?
COOKING A TRADITIONAL
CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE DINNER
IS A LOT LIKE JUST
COOKING CORNED BEEF,
BUT WE WANT TO UP
THE SPICES A LITTLE BIT
TO HELP BALANCE OUT
THE RELATIVELY
BLAND VEGETATION TO COME.
SO WE'LL START WITH 2 TO 2 1/2
POUNDS OF OUR CORNED,
BUT NOT COOKED, BRISKET.
TO THAT WE WILL ADD...
...AND ENOUGH WATER
TO COVER BY ABOUT AN INCH.
WE'RE GONNA CRANK
THE HEAT TO HIGH,
AND WHEN IT COMES TO A BOIL,
WE'LL DROP THE HEAT, COVER,
AND SIMMER FOR 2 TO 2 1/2 HOURS.
SO THAT SHOULD GIVE US
PLENTY OF TIME
TO DEAL WITH THE VEGGIES.
2 1/2 HOURS HAVE PASSED.
IT IS TIME FOR THE FIRST
DOSE OF VEGETATION.
WE'LL START WITH THE SLOWEST
COOKERS FIRST--
1 POUND OF PEELED
RUSSET POTATOES...
NEXT UP, CARROTS...
NOW WE'RE GONNA LET
THIS COOK UNCOVERED
FOR 15 MINUTES,
JUST TO GIVE THESE GUYS A HEAD
START IN THE COOKING PROCESS
BEFORE THE CABBAGE COMES IN.
AND NOW, FINALLY, THE CABBAGE.
I HAVE HERE...
WEIGHED ABOUT 2 POUNDS
BEFORE I TOOK THE CORE OUT.
THERE. NOW WE'RE GONNA LET THIS
COOK FOR ANOTHER 15 MINUTES,
UNCOVERED, UNTIL THE CABBAGE
AND THE POTATOES
ARE JUST FORK TENDER.
GRIND ON A LITTLE--
OR A LOT--MORE BLACK PEPPER
AND, UH, OH...
YOU MIGHT WANT TO FISH OUT
THE BAY LEAVES AT THIS POINT.
THEY'RE NOT REALLY
GOOD EATS ANYMORE.
THERE, TIME TO DIG IN.
BY THE WAY, UNLESS YOU'VE GOT
A FAMILY OF, LIKE, 37,
THERE ARE GONNA BE
LEFTOVERS FROM THIS,
AND LEFTOVER CORNED BEEF
AND CABBAGE
MEANS HASH--
BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS.
¶
THE NAME HASH COMES
FROM THE WORD HACHER,
MEANING TO SLICE
OR CHOP UP,
BUT THE DISH,
AT LEAST IN THIS COUNTRY,
IS BETTER KNOWN AS
"THE KING OF LEFTOVERS."
THE ARGUMENT COULD BE MADE
THAT THE BEST REASON
FOR COOKING CORNED BEEF
AND CORNED BEEF DINNER
IS SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE
HASH THE NEXT DAY.
NOW WE ARE GOING TO REQUIRE...
UH, LET'S SEE...
UM, LET'S SEE...
...WHICH I'VE GOT LEFT OVER
HERE, WHICH IS NICE, AND...
WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO DRAIN THAT.
WE'RE ALSO GONNA NEED SOME
HERBAGE, SAY...
THAT OUGHTA DO IT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
DOWN THERE, BUNNY?
THE BUTTER GOES INTO A 12-INCH
CAST-IRON SKILLET
OVER MEDIUM HEAT,
AND YES, IN THIS CASE,
THE CAST IRON REALLY, REALLY,
REALLY IS IMPORTANT.
NOW, SOON AS THIS MELTS,
WE WILL ADD THE RED BELL PEPPER,
1 CUP CHOPPED,
AND COOK JUST UNTIL IT
STARTS TO BROWN--
SAY FIVE OR SIX MINUTES.
THERE, THAT IS SOME NICE COLOR.
SO NEXT IN--THE GARLIC.
GET ALL THAT IN THERE.
STIR THAT IN.
ALL OF THE CORNED BEEF
LEFTOVERS...
THE HERBS.
MIX THOSE TOGETHER.
AND GO AHEAD AND HIT IT
WITH A FEW GOOD GRINDS
OF BLACK PEPPER.
YOU'LL PROBABLY WANT
MORE OF THAT LATER.
WHEN YOU'VE GOT IT MIXED IN,
JUST EVENLY DISTRIBUTE IT
ACROSS THE BOTTOM OF THE PAN.
AND NOW WE ARE GOING
TO REQUIRE A WEIGHT.
THAT IS RIGHT.
WE NEED TO MASH THIS DOWN.
YOU COULD USE ANYTHING FROM
A DINNER PLATE TO A--
A LID, OR IN MY CASE,
I'M JUST GONNA USE ANOTHER PAN
BECAUSE I HAVE IT NEARBY
AND THE SIZE IS RIGHT.
I'M GONNA STEAL A LITTLE BUTTER
OFF OF THIS GUY,
AND LUBE THIS UP, JUST SO THAT
THE POTATOES WON'T STICK.
PUT THAT BACK IN PLACE,
AND THIS'LL JUST
GO STRAIGHT DOWN.
I'M GONNA GIVE IT A LITTLE PUSH.
THERE WE GO.
AND LET IT COOK
FOR ABOUT TEN MINUTES
OR UNTIL THE HASH
IS BROWN ON THE BOTTOM.
NOW A FEW MINUTES
IT'S HAD TO BROWN.
TAKE OFF THE PAN
AND KIND OF STIR IT UP.
WE WANT TO GET
ALL THE BROWNED STUFF ON TOP
AND ALL OF THE UNBROWNED STUFF
ON THE BOTTOM.
OUR GOAL IS TO GET AS MUCH
BROWN AS POSSIBLE.
NOW IF WE WERE TO CUT THIS UP
INTO REALLY LITTLE PIECES
AND DO THIS, WE COULD PROBABLY
FLIP IT LIKE A PANCAKE,
BUT I KIND OF LIKE IT
BIG AND CHUNKY.
THERE. NOW THE PAN
GOES BACK ON,
AND WE'LL COOK FOR ANOTHER
FIVE TO SIX MINUTES.
THE ONLY PROBLEM WITH THIS DISH
IS THAT IT ONLY
MAKES ONE SERVING.
YOU KNOW, THIS IS
A BREAKFAST SO GOOD
THAT IT'S ALMOST WORTH MAKING
THE CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE
JUST FOR THE LEFTOVERS.
HELLO, MY GOOD MAN.
WELL, IF IT AIN'T
MR. CORNED BEEF.
WHAT'S COOKIN'?
FOR YOU.
WHAT DO YOU GOT THERE?
WELL, YOU KNOW,
ONE GOOD SANDWICH
DESERVES ANOTHER.
IS THAT--
YEAH, CORNED BEEF ON RYE.
I MADE THAT MYSELF.
YOU KNOW, THAT DON'T
LOOK HALF BAD.
HALF BAD? THAT'S ALL
GOOD, MY MAN.
A LITTLE TIME,
A LITTLE BRINE,
A LITTLE OLD-FASHIONED FOOD
PRESERVATION IS ALL IT TAKES.
NOT THAT WE'LL
NEED IT,
CONSIDERING HOW
FAST IT WILL GO.
NOW THAT'S--THAT'S--
I THINK THE WORDS
YOU ARE LOOKING FOR ARE
"GOOD EATS."
YEAH!
HIT IT, BUDDY.