Good Eats (1999–2012): Season 10, Episode 14 - Pantry Raid VI: Lentils - full transcript
(crowd shouting)
LOOK AT THIS, A PICKET LINE.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF COOKS
AGAINST WASTED LEFTOVERS.
"CAW-LO"...
THAT'S A SILLY NAME.
OH, THEY SEEM TO BE
UNDER THE IMPRESSION
THAT I HAVEN'T MADE ENOUGH SHOWS
FOCUSING ON THE UTILIZATION
OF RECIPE REMAINS
OR SOME SUCH THING AS THAT.
TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE,
MY CREW IS REFUSING
TO CROSS THE PICKET LINE.
(gasps)
SOME HAVE ACTUALLY JOINED IT!
OHH, YOU FAITHLESS CUR!
UGH, ANYWAY, IT SEEMS
THAT ALL HAVE ABANDONED ME
EXCEPT FOR MY TRUSTY FRIEND...
(sighs) ET TU, THANE?
HARDY HAR HAR.
GET YOUR FIVE FINGERS
IN THE HOUSE! UGH!
I'VE GOTTA TAKE
SOME KIND OF ACTION HERE.
OH, LET'S SEE.
TO THE REFRIGERATOR!
YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S IT.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
WELL, IT SEEMS
WE HAVE SOME TORTILLAS.
OH, LEFTOVERS FROM OUR EPISODE
"FLAT IS BEAUTIFUL 6,"
I THINK.
GOSH, THERE MUST BE
200 OR 300 OF THEM.
OH, WELL, PRACTICE
MAKES PERFECT.
OH, THE PROBLEM IS WHAT
AM I GONNA DO WITH THESE THINGS?
OHH! OH, THANKS BUT NO THA--
I THINK THAT WOULD
SOMEHOW BE CHEATING.
IT'S NOT THAT I HAVE ANYTHING
AGAINST COOKBOOKS.
IT'S JUST THE IDEA OF HAVING
TO DIG UP A RECIPE
JUST TO DEAL WITH SOME LEFTOVERS
RUBS ME WRONG.
AAH!
HELLO, ALTON.
AAH!
I'M THE MOTHER
OF CULINARY INVENTION, SEE?
AAH!
(Alton) OHH! OHH!
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE THE MOTHER
OF CULINARY INVENTION.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
OH, NO REASON OTHER THAN
THE FACT THAT THERE'S A MOB
OF ANGRY COOKS
PICKETING YOUR HOUSE
AND NOT AN IDEA
IN YOUR FUZZY LITTLE HEAD.
THAT'S NOT TRUE!
OKAY, THAT'S TRUE.
BUT I JUST CAN'T PERFORM
UNDER THIS MUCH PRESSURE.
NOT TO WORRY.
IN TORTILLA WE TRUST.
REALLY?
OH, YES.
NO OTHER FOOD I KNOW
CAN SO WONDERFULLY WEAVE
ITSELF INTO OTHER DISHES.
REALLY?
YOU'RE BEGINNING TO SOUND LIKE
A BROKEN RECORD, DEAR,
AND THAT'S ANNOYING.
(whispering) SORRY.
NOW THINK ABOUT IT.
THE TORTILLA HAS
A MILLION THINGS GOING FOR IT.
REALLY?
OW, THAT HURT!
REALLY?
TORTILLAS HAVE EVERYTHING
YOU COULD WANT IN AN INGREDIENT.
THEY'RE TASTY, TEXTURED,
WATER SOLUBLE,
FLEXIBLE ONE MINUTE,
CRUNCHY THE NEXT.
IN FACT, THE ONLY PROBLEM
IS THAT WE DON'T HAVE
ENOUGH TIME TO TAKE
FULL ADVANTAGE OF THEM.
SO WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING IS...
THAT'S RIGHT.
EVEN LEFT OVER,
TORTILLAS ARE...
¶
Captioning provided by
Scripps Networks, Inc.
Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
(crowd chanting and clapping)
WOW, THEY'RE GETTING
REALLY WORKED UP OUT THERE.
YOU BETTER GET COOKING.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
GOT ANY IDEAS FOR ME?
ANY INSPIRATION?
USE YOUR NOODLE.
TA-TA.
USE MY NOODLE.
WHAT DID SHE MEAN BY THAT?
HEY.
YOU KNOW,
IN THE EARLY 20th CENTURY,
MEXICAN BORDER RESTAURANTS,
HOPING TO APPEASE THE APPETITES
OF VISITING
AMERICAN TURISTAS,
BEGAN SERVING VARIATIONS
OF TRADITIONAL DISHES.
ONE SUCH DISH
USED TORTILLAS
TO SEPARATE LAYERS OF MEAT,
CHEESE, VEGGIES AND SAUCE--
BECAME KNOWN
AS THE ENCHILADA.
ALTHOUGH THE ENCHILADA
IN THIS COUNTRY HAS BECOME KNOWN
AS A DISH OF FILLED AND ROLLED
CORN TORTILLAS BAKED
IN A CHILI SAUCE,
THE WORD ACTUALLY MEANS
"WITH CHILI SAUCE,"
AND CAN, IN FACT,
TAKE MANY FORMS.
IF THAT BE TRUE,
THEN WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO USE
OUR TORTILLAS TO MAKE
A LASAGNA! I'M A GENIUS!
LIKE MOST LASAGNAS,
THIS IS A SIMPLE DISH.
IT HAS MORE IN COMMON WITH,
SAY, BUILDING A PARKING DECK
THAN IT DOES ACTUAL COOKING.
IT'S ALL ABOUT CONSTRUCTION.
START WITH A MEDIUM SAUCEPAN
ON HIGH HEAT.
ADD 3 CUPS OF TOMATO SAUCE,
2 CUPS OF CHICKEN BROTH--
ANY BRAND WILL BE JUST FINE...
HOMEMADE WOULD BE GREAT--
TWO CHIPOTLE CHILIES
CHOPPED FINE,
THREE CLOVES OF GARLIC
ALSO MINCED FINE,
2 1/2 TEASPOONS OF CHILI POWDER,
1 1/2 TEASPOONS OF CUMIN SEEDS
TOASTED AND GROUND--
FRESHER IS BETTER
IN THIS REGARD...
IF YOU HAVE TO USE
PREPACKAGED, YOU CAN--
1/2 TEASPOON OF SALT
AND ABOUT 1/4 TEASPOON
OF PEPPER.
THIS IS GONNA BE PLENTY SPICY,
SO YOU CAN CUT BACK ON THAT
IF YOU WANT TO.
NOW JUST MAKE SURE THAT
THAT IS THOROUGHLY COMBINED
AND ALLOW IT TO COME TO A BOIL.
NOW IN THE MEANTIME, WE CAN
CONSTRUCT OUR FILLING.
SO YOU'RE GONNA PUT A SKILLET,
MEDIUM SKILLET,
OVER MEDIUM HIGH HEAT.
ADD ABOUT A TABLESPOON
OF VEGETABLE OR CANOLA OIL.
THEN YOU'RE GONNA ADD 1 POUND
OF CUBED-UP CHICKEN.
NOW IT CAN BE ANY COMBINATION
OF LIGHT AND DARK MEAT.
I HAPPEN TO PREFER THIGHS.
THAT'S JUST ME.
YOU CAN CERTAINLY USE
LIGHT MEAT AS WELL,
BUT I WOULDN'T GO WITH
100% LIGHT MEAT.
YOU WANNA MIX IT UP.
KEEP THIS MOVING.
SAUTé FOR SEVEN TO NINE MINUTES,
'CAUSE WE WANT IT TO BE
RELATIVELY COOKED THROUGH.
THEN REMOVE IT TO A BOWL
JUST TO STAND BY
TO WAIT FOR ASSEMBLY.
PUT THE SKILLET RIGHT BACK
ONTO THE HEAT
AND THEN DUMP IN
1 1/2 CUPS OF ONIONS.
YOU CAN SEE THAT'S KIND OF
A MEDIUM-FINE CHOP,
NOTHING TOO FANCY.
AND WE'RE GONNA COOK THIS
WITH A LITTLE BIT OF SALT,
'CAUSE THAT ALWAYS HELPS
TO BRING OUT
SOME OF THE NATURAL JUICES,
PROBABLY FOR
FOUR TO SIX MINUTES.
AND YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA WANT
TO DROP THE HEAT ON THAT,
AT LEAST ABOUT HALFWAY
THROUGH THE COOKING
TO MEDIUM LOW LEST THEY BURN.
YOU CAN SEE THAT OUR SAUCE
IS NOW AT A ROLLING BOIL,
WHICH IS ALL
THAT WE REALLY NEED,
SO WE'RE GONNA TURN THAT HEAT
WAY, WAY DOWN... ALMOST OFF.
RETURNING TO THE ONIONS,
WE NOW ADD ONE CLOVE OF GARLIC
THAT HAS BEEN MINCED--
YES, MORE GARLIC
IN THIS RECIPE--
AND A TEASPOON
OF DRIED OREGANO.
MEXICAN WOULD BE GOOD
IF YOU COULD GET IT.
AND CONTINUE TO COOK
FOR TWO TO THREE MINUTES MORE.
THEN THE CHICKEN CAN GO
BACK INTO THE BOWL--
WELL, THE PAN. SORRY--
FROM THE BOWL TO THE PAN.
AND THEN THE HEAT GOES OFF
ON BOTH BURNERS.
NOW WE ARE READY TO ASSEMBLE.
WE HAVE SPRAYED
A 9x13 BAKING DISH
WITH A LITTLE NONSTICK SPRAY,
AND THEN I'M GONNA LADLE IN
ABOUT 1/2 CUP OF SAUCE
JUST RIGHT INTO THE BOTTOM.
THAT'LL HELP TO ENSURE
THAT THESE TORTILLAS
AREN'T GOING TO STICK.
NOW I'VE GOT 12 TORTILLAS TOTAL,
AND I'VE CUT SEVERAL
OF THOSE IN HALF.
IT'S JUST GONNA HELP ME
KIND OF BUILD THIS.
AND I STICK AS MANY OF 'EM
AS POSSIBLE INTO THE SAUCE
AND KIND OF FISH THEM OUT
AND BUILD THE BASE.
NOW EACH LAYER IS GOING TO HAVE
THREE WHOLE TORTILLAS
AND THEN ALSO TWO HALF TORTILLAS
THAT HAVE BEEN DIPPED
IN THE SAUCE TO KIND OF MAKE
AS EVEN A LAYER AS IS POSSIBLE.
WE'LL NOW ADD
HALF OF THE CHICKEN MIXTURE
AND THEN TOP THAT
WITH 1 CUP OF CRUMBLED
QUESO FRESCO CHEESE.
QUESO FRESCO
IS INTERESTING STUFF.
IT IS A FRESH UNAGED CHEESE.
AND ALTHOUGH IT HAS
A VERY SMOOTH TEXTURE
AND CRUMBLES NICELY LIKE FETA,
IT WILL NOT MELT
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.
SO IT'S GREAT
FOR PLACING IN DISHES
WHERE YOU REALLY DO
WANT IT TO STAY PUT.
MOST MEGA MARTS
CARRY QUESO FRESCO
OR ITS COUSIN QUESO BLANCO,
WHICH CAN ALSO
BE USED IN THIS DISH.
NOW WE ARE GOING
TO REPEAT THIS PROCESS
WITH MORE TORTILLAS,
THE REMAINING CHICKEN,
MORE CHEESE
AND THEN FINALLY
ANOTHER LAYER OF TORTILLAS,
THE REMAINDER OF THE SAUCE
AND THEN, LAST BUT NOT LEAST,
THE REST OF THE CHEESE.
COVER YOUR LASAGNA
IN ALUMINUM FOIL
AND PARK IN A 350-DEGREE OVEN
FOR 30 MINUTES.
¶
¶
NOW CAREFULLY REMOVE THE FOIL
AND COOK FOR ANOTHER TEN MINUTES
OR UNTIL IT'S NICE
AND BUBBLY ON TOP.
¶
MMM.
OH, YEAH,
THEY'RE GOING FOR IT.
WELL, IT'S A PERFECTLY
ACCEPTABLE,
ALBEIT
NOT VERY ORIGINAL,
VARIATION
ON A CLASSIC THEME.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THAT DISH IS GREAT.
THOSE "CAW-LO" PEOPLE
ARE GONNA BE
OUT OF HERE IN NO TIME.
OH, I RATHER DOUBT IT.
YEAH, WHATEVER.
SEVERAL MORE BUSLOADS
JUST ARRIVED.
OH, AND LOOK,
THERE'S A TV NEWS VAN, TOO.
UGH.
LUCKY FOR YOU, YOU ALREADY
HAVE TORTILLA CHIPS.
(sarcastically)
OH, THANKS!
NOW WHEN THEY BREACH
THE GATES, I'LL BE ABLE
FLING THESE LIKE
KUNG FU THROWING STARS!
SO UNGRATEFUL.
HERE YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN
THE KEYS TO LEFTOVER PARADISE,
AND THAT'S THE BEST
YOU CAN DO?
YOU, SIR, ARE NO
IGNACIO ANAYA.
(normal voice) OHH, WHY THAT'S
THE WORST THING--HUH?
DO YOU LIKE PLAYS?
HUH?
GOOD, 'CAUSE
YOU'RE IN ONE!
AAH!
ONCE UPON A TIME IN 1944...
OR '45--I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH--
CHEF ANAYA WAS GETTING READY
TO LOCK UP THE KITCHEN
FOR THE NIGHT
AT THE VICTORY CLUB
IN PIEDRAS NEGRAS, MEXICO,
WHEN THREE MILITARY WIVES
FROM FORT DUNCAN,
JUST OVER THE BORDER,
DROPPED IN AFTER A LONG DAY
OF SIGHTSEEING AND SHOPPING.
BUT CHEF ANAYA TOLD THEM,
"ALAS! THE KITCHEN--
IT IS CLOSED."
ALAS! THE KITCHEN--
IT IS CLOSED.
UGH, BUT WE HAVE BEEN OUT
SHOPPING ALL DAY,
AND WE ARE SO HUNGRY.
SURELY YOU HAVE SOME LEFTOVERS
YOU CAN MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF.
WELL, CAN'T YOU MAKE ANYTHING?
(all) HMM?
I WILL WITHDRAW TO THE KITCHEN
TO PONDER THE POSSIBILITIES.
AT FIRST, CHEF ANAYA
WAS STUMPED.
HE HAD SO LITTLE
ON HAND--
SOME CHEESE,
A FEW CHILIES,
A BUNCH
OF TORTILLA CHIPS.
BUT HE COULD
THINK OF NOTHING.
SO I CALLED OUT TO HIM,
"HEY, NACHO!"
NACHO?
IT'S THE FAMILIAR
AND DIMINUTIVE FORM
OF THE NAME IGNACIO.
ANYWAY, I CALLED OUT
TO HIM, "NACHO!"
OKAY, OKAY.
I GET THE POINT.
I GET THE POINT.
NOW SHOO OUT OF HERE
AND LET ME COOK, OKAY?
VERY WELL.
OKAY, SO
THE PERFECT NACHOS--
IT ALL BEGINS
WITH THE RIGHT SOFTWARE.
WE HAVE 80 CORN
TORTILLA CHIPS HERE...
STORE-BOUGHT WOULD BE OKAY.
FACTORY-BOUGHT WOULD BE BETTER.
HOMEMADE WOULD BE REALLY GOOD.
THREE TO FOUR JALAPENO CHILIES
VERY THINLY SLICED...
IF YOU LIKE THEM
ON THE HOT SIDE, BE SURE
TO LEAVE THE INNER MEMBRANE
AND SEEDS INTACT.
4 1/2 OUNCES
OF DICED RED ONION...
IT'S ABOUT, I DON'T KNOW,
HALF OF A GOOD-SIZED ONION.
AND 6 OUNCES EACH--
IT'S ABOUT 2 1/4 CUPS--
OF GRATED CHEESES.
WE HAVE HERE CHEDDAR CHEESE,
AND HERE WE HAVE OAXACA CHEESE.
OAXACA CHEESE IS, OF COURSE,
NAMED AFTER
THE OAXACA REGION OF MEXICO,
AND THE NAME REPRESENTS ACTUALLY
SEVERAL DIFFERENT VARIETIES
OF CHEESE, ALL WHICH
ARE COW'S MILK,
WHITE AND VERY SMOOTH MELTING.
ONE OF MY FAVORITE EXAMPLES--
ASADERO.
IT'S ACTUALLY SPANISH
FOR BROILER,
AND IT'S A CHEESE THAT IS VERY,
VERY SMOOTH MELTING.
IT'S A PULLED CHEESE,
KIND OF LIKE MOZZARELLA,
BUT THE FLAVOR IS MORE LIKE
UNAGED MONTEREY JACK.
NOW, TO THE HARDWARE.
FIRST, WE MUST PROPERLY
PREP THE OVEN.
IF YOU HAVE A MIDDLE RACK,
REMOVE IT.
GET THE TOP RACK ALL THE WAY UP
AND THE BOTTOM RACK
ALL THE WAY DOWN.
WE NEED PLENTY OF SPACE IN HERE.
GO AHEAD
AND SET YOUR TEMPERATURE
FOR 350 DEGREES.
CONTINUING THE HARDWARE,
WE NEED NOT ONE, NOT TWO,
BUT THREE WIRE COOLING RACKS.
THEY ARE CHEAP, AND I USE THEM
FOR LOTS OF THINGS,
SUCH AS DRAINING RIGS
FOR FRYING.
I PUT THEM IN MY SMOKER.
I USE THEM TO CHANGE
THE OIL IN--OH, NEVER MIND.
IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY OF THESE,
YOU COULD ALWAYS USE PROBABLY,
WELL, GRILL GRATES.
I SAW A GUY DO THIS
WITH COAT HANGERS ONE TIME,
ALTHOUGH I DON'T SUGGEST THAT.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, SHEET PAN.
BUT FIRST, WE NEED A FOUNDATION
LIKE PARCHMENT PAPER...
SHOULD DO THE TRICK.
BUT BEFORE THE CHIPS GO DOWN,
WE NEED SOME SPACERS,
SOMETHING IN THE 2-INCH RANGE
THAT WILL BE OVEN SAFE,
PERHAPS ALUMINUM FOIL.
PERFECT!
SO WHAT'S WITH
THIS CRAZY CONSTRUCT?
WELL, IT'S ALL ABOUT EVENNESS.
WE WANT EACH CHIP TO HAVE
THE EXACT SAME AMOUNT
OF EACH INGREDIENT,
BUT WE DON'T WANT THE CHIPS
TO BE STUCK TOGETHER INTO
A BIG GUMMY MESS ON THE PLATTER.
AND, OF COURSE, WE WOULD LIKE
TO AVOID THE MICROWAVE.
¶
AHH, HERE WE GO.
PARK IN YOUR PREPPED HOT BOX
FOR ABOUT SEVEN MINUTES
OR UNTIL THE CHEESE
IS NICE AND BUBBLY.
(laughs)
I BET OLD NACHO
DIDN'T THINK OF THIS ONE.
(laughs evilly)
¶
MMM.
AHH.
(laughs)
¶
¶
AND THERE WE HAVE IT,
NACHOS ESPECIALES.
NOW AS FAR AS SERVING GOES,
ODDS ARE GOOD
EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET
HAS DONE THIS BEFORE.
BUT JUST IN CASE
YOU HAVE ANY ALIENS
LIVING WITH YOU
OR IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD,
HERE'S HOW I WOULD DO IT.
A LITTLE BIT OF FRESH CHOPPED
OREGANO GETS SPRINKLED ON--
MEXICAN OREGANO
WOULD BE VERY NICE--
THEN PERHAPS JUST A TOUCH
OF SOUR CREAM
AND, WELL, MAYBE SOME SALSA.
GUACAMOLE--COMPLETELY OPTIONAL.
I THINK THAT
WOULD BE OVERLOAD HERE.
NOW NOTICE WE STILL HAVE
STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY.
THAT'S BECAUSE THE CHEESE
IS SPAN--OH, NEVER MIND.
(crowd chanting and clapping)
HMM, LOOKS LIKE
NACHO'S KUNG FU
ISN'T GONNA BE ENOUGH
TO TURN THIS CROWD.
OH, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING NEW.
GONNA BE TOUGH, TOO,
WHAT WITH ALL
THAT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE
WITH TORTILLAS
AND, OF COURSE, THE PRESSURE
THAT YOU'RE UNDER.
YOU KNOW, IF I WERE YOU,
I MIGHT BE, SAY,
DIGGING A TUNNEL OR, OH,
YOU KNOW, MAYBE A HELICOPTER.
YOU KNOW, THIS REALLY
ISN'T HELPING.
YOU KNOW
WHAT THEY SAY--
INVENTION
IS 99% DESPERATION.
I THOUGHT THEY SAID
IT WAS PERSPIRATION.
EW.
RE, LET ME ASK
YOU A QUESTION.
HOW MANY FOODS
DO YOU KNOW OF
THAT CAN BE
UNCOOKED BACK
INTO THEIR
ORIGINAL RAW STATE?
NONE. THAT'S CRAZY TALK.
HMM.
YEAH, I GUESS
YOU'RE RIGHT.
WELL, I'M OUT OF HERE.
OHH! (scoffs)
TO BREAK TORTILLAS
BACK DOWN INTO MASA
WOULD REQUIRE
CONSIDERABLE MOISTURE,
A FOOD PROCESSOR AND--WELL,
EVEN IF YOU COULD DO IT,
ALL YOU CAN
MAKE WOULD BE...
TOTS!
OF COURSE!
BEAUTIFUL DELICIOUS
MASA TOTS.
ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS BREAK DOWN THE TORTILLAS
AND REFORM THEM
INTO A SCOOPABLE DOUGH.
WHY DIDN'T I THINK
OF IT BEFORE?
¶
OUR BATTER BEGINS WITH THE GLUE.
ONE WHOLE EGG
WILL KEEP THINGS TOGETHER.
BUT WE'LL NEED
MORE MOISTURE THAN THAT,
SO 1/2 CUP OF WHOLE MILK.
SOME SEASONING--A TEASPOON
AND A HALF OF KOSHER SALT--
I'M GUESSING--
AND 1/4 TEASPOON
OF FRESHLY GROUND BLACK PEPPER.
AS FOR THE TORTILLAS,
WELL NEED 10 OUNCES,
AND THAT'S ABOUT
20 STANDARD FACTORY ROUNDS.
GO AHEAD AND TEAR THEM
INTO BITE-SIZE MORSELS.
MAKE THE PROCESS
GO A WHOLE LOT QUICKER.
THERE.
NOW WE'RE GONNA PROCESS THIS
FOR TWO TO THREE MINUTES
OR UNTIL WE'VE GOT KIND OF
A LUMPY DOUGH CONSISTENCY.
YOU'LL KNOW YOU'RE DONE
WHEN... RIGHT THERE.
YOU SEE HOW THE DOUGH
IS KIND OF PILING UP
ON THE SIDES OF THE BOWL.
YOU CAN SEE ALL THE WAY DOWN
INTO THE BLADE.
SO WE'LL TURN THAT OFF.
AND HERE WE HAVE
A BOWL CONTAINING
1/4 CUP OF DICED ONION
AND 2 TABLESPOONS
OF MINCED JALAPEÑO.
NOW IF YOU LIKE
THE FLAVOR OF JALAPEÑOS
BUT DON'T LIKE
QUITE AS MUCH FIRE,
YOU CAN SPLIT THEM IN HALF
AND THEN JUST KIND OF
SCOOT YOUR KNIFE DOWN THE CHILI,
REMOVING AS MUCH OF THE MEMBRANE
AND, OF COURSE,
THE SEEDS AS POSSIBLE.
AND THEN YOU CAN JUST DICE
THAT SUCKER RIGHT UP.
NOTICE I DO HAVE A LATEX GLOVE
ON ONE HAND.
THAT'S BECAUSE CAPSAICIN
HAS SERIOUS HANG TIME ON SKIN,
AND, YOU KNOW, I MIGHT HAVE
TO SCRATCH MY EYE OR SOMETHING,
AND THAT WOULD REALLY HURT.
JUST GET THAT DUMPED IN.
AND WE WILL MIX USING
THE BEST TOOL ON EARTH--
THE HUMAN HAND,
CLEAN, OF COURSE.
THERE.
JUST KIND OF SQUEEZE IT AROUND.
AND YOU'LL KNOW IT'S RIGHT
WHEN YOU CAN MAKE A FIST
AND GET ONE OF THOSE.
WE'RE GOOD TO GO.
IN THE PAST,
I HAVE LOOSELY ENDORSED
THE USE OF COUNTERTOP
ELECTRIC FRYERS
FOR THE CONVENIENCE AND SAFETY,
BUT THE TRUTH IS THEY DON'T
MANAGE HEAT VERY WELL,
THE MAIN ISSUE BEING RECOVERY.
THE FOOD GOES IN.
IT TAKES WAY TOO LONG
FOR THE HEAT IN THE OIL
TO BOUNCE BACK, AND THAT CAN
LEAD TO GREASY FOOD.
SO I GENERALLY STICK WITH
THE OLD TRUSTY COMBO
OF A DUTCH OVEN
AND A THERMOMETER,
WHICH GIVES ME
A LITTLE BIT MORE CONTROL.
NOW AS FAR AS
THE COOKING MEDIUM ITSELF,
I AM A FAN OF PEANUT OIL.
IT IS NEUTRAL IN FLAVOR,
AND IT CAN TAKE
AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF HEAT
BEFORE SMOKING AND DEGRADING.
AND IT DOESN'T TEND
TO STINK UP THE HOUSE.
NOW FOR THOSE OF YOU
WHO LOOK LIKE THIS
WHEN YOU EAT PEANUT PRODUCTS,
I OFFER THIS FUN FACT--
THE ALLERGENS IN PEANUTS
ARE LOCATED
IN THE PROTEIN PORTION
T OF HE NUT,
NOT IN THE FAT.
THESE PROTEINS ARE NOT INCLUDED
IN THE STANDARD
HEAT-PROCESSED PEANUT OIL
THAT MOST FOOD IS FRIED IN.
HOWEVER, IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE
HAVE A PEANUT ALLERGY,
YOU WILL WANT TO AVOID
ORGANIC OR COLD-PRESSED
PEANUT OILS,
WHICH YOU WOULDN'T WANT
TO FRY WITH ANYWAY
BECAUSE OF THEIR EXPENSE
AND RELATIVELY LOW SMOKE POINTS.
ALL THAT SAID, IF PEANUT OIL
JUST ISN'T FOR YOU,
THEN TRY EITHER SAFFLOWER OIL
OR SUNFLOWER OIL
FOR YOUR DEEP-FRYING.
OR SUNFLOWER OIL
FOR YOUR DEEP-FRYING.
¶
AHH, EXCELLENT!
OUR OIL IS IN THE ZONE BETWEEN
365 AND 375 DEGREES.
THAT'S THE GOOD ZONE, NOT
THE OTHER ZONE, THE BAD ZONE.
WE'RE READY TO ROLL.
WE'RE LOOKING FOR CAREFUL
PORTION CONTROL HERE.
I WANT THESE BALLS
TO BE ABOUT AN INCH
TO AN INCH AND A HALF
ACROSS IN THE 2 TEASPOON RANGE,
SO I AM GOING TO USE ONE
OF MY FAVORITE DEVICES,
JUST A LITTLE COOKIE DISHER,
SPRING-LOADED.
THIS HOLDS ABOUT 2 TEASPOONS.
SO TO GET THE RIGHT COMPRESSION,
JUST SCOOP
AND KIND OF PRESS UP AGAINST
THE SIDE OF YOUR BOWL
AND THEN OUT INTO YOUR HAND.
AND WE'RE NOT LOOKING
FOR A REALLY SUPERTIGHT PACK,
JUST A GOOD COHESIVE SHAPE.
THERE.
NOW I'M GONNA WORK IN BATCHES
OF EIGHT OF THESE.
I WANNA MAKE EIGHT
BEFORE GOING TO THE OIL.
OKAY, GOOD.
NOW INTO THE HOT FAT WE GO.
NOW UNLIKE TORTILLAS
THAT WOULD FLOAT
TO THE SURFACE WHEN
THEY'RE DONE, THESE AREN'T.
THEY'RE JUST GONNA SINK
AND STAY SUNK.
SO LET THEM COOK
FOR TWO TO THREE MINUTES,
CHECKING OFTEN
FOR THE CORRECT BROWNING.
¶
IN MEXICO, I BELIEVE
THESE LITTLE SNACKS
WOULD BE CALLED ANTOJITOS.
THAT MEANS "LITTLE WHIMS."
I KIND OF LIKE THAT.
NOW IF YOU WERE TO DITCH
THE ONIONS AND JALAPEÑOS,
REDUCE THE SALT TO 1/2 TEASPOON,
AND REPLACE THE PEPPER
WITH 1 TABLESPOON OF ORANGE ZEST
AND 2 TABLESPOONS OF SUGAR,
YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO CONVERT
YOUR MASA TOTS
TO SWEET ANTOJITOS.
BUT THAT'S ANOTHER SHOW.
¶
OOH, I THINK
IT'S WORKING.
THEY'RE LEAVING.
SO WHAT DID
WE LEARN TODAY?
WELL, I LEARNED THAT
LEFTOVER UTILIZATION
IS REALLY A STATE OF MIND
AND THE TORTILLAS ARE KIND OF
LIKE THE VICE GRIPS
OF THE CULINARY WORLD,
YEAH.
OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
FOR BEING SUCH A GEEK.
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD
OF THE LADY
OF THE REFRIGERATOR?
OH, FIRST COUSIN.
THAT WOULD EXPLAIN
THE HITTING.
OOH, YOUR CREW RETURNS,
AND MY WORK IS DONE.
OKAY, NICE SEEING YOU.
YOU CAN LET
YOURSELF OUT.
MM-HMM, HERE
THEY COME, ALL RIGHT.
WELL, LOOK WHAT
THE FAITHLESS BACKSTABBING CAT
DRUG IN.
WELL, LET'S LET THIS
BE A LESSON TO US ALL.
IF YOU DON'T PLAY WISE
WITH YOUR LEFTOVERS,
YOU'LL END UP WITH PEOPLE
PICKETING YOUR HOUSE,
YOUR CREW ABANDONING YOU
AND, OF COURSE...
(clears throat)
YOU'LL BE INFESTED
BY SOME STRANGE LITTLE
FAIRY-TYPE PERSON.
OH, WELL, SEE YOU NEXT TIME
ON "GOOD EATS."
AAH!
(sighs) I'M WINDED.
CUT.
(crowd shouting)
LOOK AT THIS, A PICKET LINE.
CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?
I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD OF COOKS
AGAINST WASTED LEFTOVERS.
"CAW-LO"...
THAT'S A SILLY NAME.
OH, THEY SEEM TO BE
UNDER THE IMPRESSION
THAT I HAVEN'T MADE ENOUGH SHOWS
FOCUSING ON THE UTILIZATION
OF RECIPE REMAINS
OR SOME SUCH THING AS THAT.
TO MAKE MATTERS WORSE,
MY CREW IS REFUSING
TO CROSS THE PICKET LINE.
(gasps)
SOME HAVE ACTUALLY JOINED IT!
OHH, YOU FAITHLESS CUR!
UGH, ANYWAY, IT SEEMS
THAT ALL HAVE ABANDONED ME
EXCEPT FOR MY TRUSTY FRIEND...
(sighs) ET TU, THANE?
HARDY HAR HAR.
GET YOUR FIVE FINGERS
IN THE HOUSE! UGH!
I'VE GOTTA TAKE
SOME KIND OF ACTION HERE.
OH, LET'S SEE.
TO THE REFRIGERATOR!
YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S IT.
ALL RIGHT, WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE?
WELL, IT SEEMS
WE HAVE SOME TORTILLAS.
OH, LEFTOVERS FROM OUR EPISODE
"FLAT IS BEAUTIFUL 6,"
I THINK.
GOSH, THERE MUST BE
200 OR 300 OF THEM.
OH, WELL, PRACTICE
MAKES PERFECT.
OH, THE PROBLEM IS WHAT
AM I GONNA DO WITH THESE THINGS?
OHH! OH, THANKS BUT NO THA--
I THINK THAT WOULD
SOMEHOW BE CHEATING.
IT'S NOT THAT I HAVE ANYTHING
AGAINST COOKBOOKS.
IT'S JUST THE IDEA OF HAVING
TO DIG UP A RECIPE
JUST TO DEAL WITH SOME LEFTOVERS
RUBS ME WRONG.
AAH!
HELLO, ALTON.
AAH!
I'M THE MOTHER
OF CULINARY INVENTION, SEE?
AAH!
(Alton) OHH! OHH!
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE THE MOTHER
OF CULINARY INVENTION.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
OH, NO REASON OTHER THAN
THE FACT THAT THERE'S A MOB
OF ANGRY COOKS
PICKETING YOUR HOUSE
AND NOT AN IDEA
IN YOUR FUZZY LITTLE HEAD.
THAT'S NOT TRUE!
OKAY, THAT'S TRUE.
BUT I JUST CAN'T PERFORM
UNDER THIS MUCH PRESSURE.
NOT TO WORRY.
IN TORTILLA WE TRUST.
REALLY?
OH, YES.
NO OTHER FOOD I KNOW
CAN SO WONDERFULLY WEAVE
ITSELF INTO OTHER DISHES.
REALLY?
YOU'RE BEGINNING TO SOUND LIKE
A BROKEN RECORD, DEAR,
AND THAT'S ANNOYING.
(whispering) SORRY.
NOW THINK ABOUT IT.
THE TORTILLA HAS
A MILLION THINGS GOING FOR IT.
REALLY?
OW, THAT HURT!
REALLY?
TORTILLAS HAVE EVERYTHING
YOU COULD WANT IN AN INGREDIENT.
THEY'RE TASTY, TEXTURED,
WATER SOLUBLE,
FLEXIBLE ONE MINUTE,
CRUNCHY THE NEXT.
IN FACT, THE ONLY PROBLEM
IS THAT WE DON'T HAVE
ENOUGH TIME TO TAKE
FULL ADVANTAGE OF THEM.
SO WHAT
YOU'RE SAYING IS...
THAT'S RIGHT.
EVEN LEFT OVER,
TORTILLAS ARE...
¶
Captioning provided by
Scripps Networks, Inc.
Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
(crowd chanting and clapping)
WOW, THEY'RE GETTING
REALLY WORKED UP OUT THERE.
YOU BETTER GET COOKING.
TELL ME ABOUT IT.
GOT ANY IDEAS FOR ME?
ANY INSPIRATION?
USE YOUR NOODLE.
TA-TA.
USE MY NOODLE.
WHAT DID SHE MEAN BY THAT?
HEY.
YOU KNOW,
IN THE EARLY 20th CENTURY,
MEXICAN BORDER RESTAURANTS,
HOPING TO APPEASE THE APPETITES
OF VISITING
AMERICAN TURISTAS,
BEGAN SERVING VARIATIONS
OF TRADITIONAL DISHES.
ONE SUCH DISH
USED TORTILLAS
TO SEPARATE LAYERS OF MEAT,
CHEESE, VEGGIES AND SAUCE--
BECAME KNOWN
AS THE ENCHILADA.
ALTHOUGH THE ENCHILADA
IN THIS COUNTRY HAS BECOME KNOWN
AS A DISH OF FILLED AND ROLLED
CORN TORTILLAS BAKED
IN A CHILI SAUCE,
THE WORD ACTUALLY MEANS
"WITH CHILI SAUCE,"
AND CAN, IN FACT,
TAKE MANY FORMS.
IF THAT BE TRUE,
THEN WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO USE
OUR TORTILLAS TO MAKE
A LASAGNA! I'M A GENIUS!
LIKE MOST LASAGNAS,
THIS IS A SIMPLE DISH.
IT HAS MORE IN COMMON WITH,
SAY, BUILDING A PARKING DECK
THAN IT DOES ACTUAL COOKING.
IT'S ALL ABOUT CONSTRUCTION.
START WITH A MEDIUM SAUCEPAN
ON HIGH HEAT.
ADD 3 CUPS OF TOMATO SAUCE,
2 CUPS OF CHICKEN BROTH--
ANY BRAND WILL BE JUST FINE...
HOMEMADE WOULD BE GREAT--
TWO CHIPOTLE CHILIES
CHOPPED FINE,
THREE CLOVES OF GARLIC
ALSO MINCED FINE,
2 1/2 TEASPOONS OF CHILI POWDER,
1 1/2 TEASPOONS OF CUMIN SEEDS
TOASTED AND GROUND--
FRESHER IS BETTER
IN THIS REGARD...
IF YOU HAVE TO USE
PREPACKAGED, YOU CAN--
1/2 TEASPOON OF SALT
AND ABOUT 1/4 TEASPOON
OF PEPPER.
THIS IS GONNA BE PLENTY SPICY,
SO YOU CAN CUT BACK ON THAT
IF YOU WANT TO.
NOW JUST MAKE SURE THAT
THAT IS THOROUGHLY COMBINED
AND ALLOW IT TO COME TO A BOIL.
NOW IN THE MEANTIME, WE CAN
CONSTRUCT OUR FILLING.
SO YOU'RE GONNA PUT A SKILLET,
MEDIUM SKILLET,
OVER MEDIUM HIGH HEAT.
ADD ABOUT A TABLESPOON
OF VEGETABLE OR CANOLA OIL.
THEN YOU'RE GONNA ADD 1 POUND
OF CUBED-UP CHICKEN.
NOW IT CAN BE ANY COMBINATION
OF LIGHT AND DARK MEAT.
I HAPPEN TO PREFER THIGHS.
THAT'S JUST ME.
YOU CAN CERTAINLY USE
LIGHT MEAT AS WELL,
BUT I WOULDN'T GO WITH
100% LIGHT MEAT.
YOU WANNA MIX IT UP.
KEEP THIS MOVING.
SAUTé FOR SEVEN TO NINE MINUTES,
'CAUSE WE WANT IT TO BE
RELATIVELY COOKED THROUGH.
THEN REMOVE IT TO A BOWL
JUST TO STAND BY
TO WAIT FOR ASSEMBLY.
PUT THE SKILLET RIGHT BACK
ONTO THE HEAT
AND THEN DUMP IN
1 1/2 CUPS OF ONIONS.
YOU CAN SEE THAT'S KIND OF
A MEDIUM-FINE CHOP,
NOTHING TOO FANCY.
AND WE'RE GONNA COOK THIS
WITH A LITTLE BIT OF SALT,
'CAUSE THAT ALWAYS HELPS
TO BRING OUT
SOME OF THE NATURAL JUICES,
PROBABLY FOR
FOUR TO SIX MINUTES.
AND YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA WANT
TO DROP THE HEAT ON THAT,
AT LEAST ABOUT HALFWAY
THROUGH THE COOKING
TO MEDIUM LOW LEST THEY BURN.
YOU CAN SEE THAT OUR SAUCE
IS NOW AT A ROLLING BOIL,
WHICH IS ALL
THAT WE REALLY NEED,
SO WE'RE GONNA TURN THAT HEAT
WAY, WAY DOWN... ALMOST OFF.
RETURNING TO THE ONIONS,
WE NOW ADD ONE CLOVE OF GARLIC
THAT HAS BEEN MINCED--
YES, MORE GARLIC
IN THIS RECIPE--
AND A TEASPOON
OF DRIED OREGANO.
MEXICAN WOULD BE GOOD
IF YOU COULD GET IT.
AND CONTINUE TO COOK
FOR TWO TO THREE MINUTES MORE.
THEN THE CHICKEN CAN GO
BACK INTO THE BOWL--
WELL, THE PAN. SORRY--
FROM THE BOWL TO THE PAN.
AND THEN THE HEAT GOES OFF
ON BOTH BURNERS.
NOW WE ARE READY TO ASSEMBLE.
WE HAVE SPRAYED
A 9x13 BAKING DISH
WITH A LITTLE NONSTICK SPRAY,
AND THEN I'M GONNA LADLE IN
ABOUT 1/2 CUP OF SAUCE
JUST RIGHT INTO THE BOTTOM.
THAT'LL HELP TO ENSURE
THAT THESE TORTILLAS
AREN'T GOING TO STICK.
NOW I'VE GOT 12 TORTILLAS TOTAL,
AND I'VE CUT SEVERAL
OF THOSE IN HALF.
IT'S JUST GONNA HELP ME
KIND OF BUILD THIS.
AND I STICK AS MANY OF 'EM
AS POSSIBLE INTO THE SAUCE
AND KIND OF FISH THEM OUT
AND BUILD THE BASE.
NOW EACH LAYER IS GOING TO HAVE
THREE WHOLE TORTILLAS
AND THEN ALSO TWO HALF TORTILLAS
THAT HAVE BEEN DIPPED
IN THE SAUCE TO KIND OF MAKE
AS EVEN A LAYER AS IS POSSIBLE.
WE'LL NOW ADD
HALF OF THE CHICKEN MIXTURE
AND THEN TOP THAT
WITH 1 CUP OF CRUMBLED
QUESO FRESCO CHEESE.
QUESO FRESCO
IS INTERESTING STUFF.
IT IS A FRESH UNAGED CHEESE.
AND ALTHOUGH IT HAS
A VERY SMOOTH TEXTURE
AND CRUMBLES NICELY LIKE FETA,
IT WILL NOT MELT
NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.
SO IT'S GREAT
FOR PLACING IN DISHES
WHERE YOU REALLY DO
WANT IT TO STAY PUT.
MOST MEGA MARTS
CARRY QUESO FRESCO
OR ITS COUSIN QUESO BLANCO,
WHICH CAN ALSO
BE USED IN THIS DISH.
NOW WE ARE GOING
TO REPEAT THIS PROCESS
WITH MORE TORTILLAS,
THE REMAINING CHICKEN,
MORE CHEESE
AND THEN FINALLY
ANOTHER LAYER OF TORTILLAS,
THE REMAINDER OF THE SAUCE
AND THEN, LAST BUT NOT LEAST,
THE REST OF THE CHEESE.
COVER YOUR LASAGNA
IN ALUMINUM FOIL
AND PARK IN A 350-DEGREE OVEN
FOR 30 MINUTES.
¶
¶
NOW CAREFULLY REMOVE THE FOIL
AND COOK FOR ANOTHER TEN MINUTES
OR UNTIL IT'S NICE
AND BUBBLY ON TOP.
¶
MMM.
OH, YEAH,
THEY'RE GOING FOR IT.
WELL, IT'S A PERFECTLY
ACCEPTABLE,
ALBEIT
NOT VERY ORIGINAL,
VARIATION
ON A CLASSIC THEME.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THAT DISH IS GREAT.
THOSE "CAW-LO" PEOPLE
ARE GONNA BE
OUT OF HERE IN NO TIME.
OH, I RATHER DOUBT IT.
YEAH, WHATEVER.
SEVERAL MORE BUSLOADS
JUST ARRIVED.
OH, AND LOOK,
THERE'S A TV NEWS VAN, TOO.
UGH.
LUCKY FOR YOU, YOU ALREADY
HAVE TORTILLA CHIPS.
(sarcastically)
OH, THANKS!
NOW WHEN THEY BREACH
THE GATES, I'LL BE ABLE
FLING THESE LIKE
KUNG FU THROWING STARS!
SO UNGRATEFUL.
HERE YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN
THE KEYS TO LEFTOVER PARADISE,
AND THAT'S THE BEST
YOU CAN DO?
YOU, SIR, ARE NO
IGNACIO ANAYA.
(normal voice) OHH, WHY THAT'S
THE WORST THING--HUH?
DO YOU LIKE PLAYS?
HUH?
GOOD, 'CAUSE
YOU'RE IN ONE!
AAH!
ONCE UPON A TIME IN 1944...
OR '45--I CAN'T REMEMBER WHICH--
CHEF ANAYA WAS GETTING READY
TO LOCK UP THE KITCHEN
FOR THE NIGHT
AT THE VICTORY CLUB
IN PIEDRAS NEGRAS, MEXICO,
WHEN THREE MILITARY WIVES
FROM FORT DUNCAN,
JUST OVER THE BORDER,
DROPPED IN AFTER A LONG DAY
OF SIGHTSEEING AND SHOPPING.
BUT CHEF ANAYA TOLD THEM,
"ALAS! THE KITCHEN--
IT IS CLOSED."
ALAS! THE KITCHEN--
IT IS CLOSED.
UGH, BUT WE HAVE BEEN OUT
SHOPPING ALL DAY,
AND WE ARE SO HUNGRY.
SURELY YOU HAVE SOME LEFTOVERS
YOU CAN MAKE SOMETHING OUT OF.
WELL, CAN'T YOU MAKE ANYTHING?
(all) HMM?
I WILL WITHDRAW TO THE KITCHEN
TO PONDER THE POSSIBILITIES.
AT FIRST, CHEF ANAYA
WAS STUMPED.
HE HAD SO LITTLE
ON HAND--
SOME CHEESE,
A FEW CHILIES,
A BUNCH
OF TORTILLA CHIPS.
BUT HE COULD
THINK OF NOTHING.
SO I CALLED OUT TO HIM,
"HEY, NACHO!"
NACHO?
IT'S THE FAMILIAR
AND DIMINUTIVE FORM
OF THE NAME IGNACIO.
ANYWAY, I CALLED OUT
TO HIM, "NACHO!"
OKAY, OKAY.
I GET THE POINT.
I GET THE POINT.
NOW SHOO OUT OF HERE
AND LET ME COOK, OKAY?
VERY WELL.
OKAY, SO
THE PERFECT NACHOS--
IT ALL BEGINS
WITH THE RIGHT SOFTWARE.
WE HAVE 80 CORN
TORTILLA CHIPS HERE...
STORE-BOUGHT WOULD BE OKAY.
FACTORY-BOUGHT WOULD BE BETTER.
HOMEMADE WOULD BE REALLY GOOD.
THREE TO FOUR JALAPENO CHILIES
VERY THINLY SLICED...
IF YOU LIKE THEM
ON THE HOT SIDE, BE SURE
TO LEAVE THE INNER MEMBRANE
AND SEEDS INTACT.
4 1/2 OUNCES
OF DICED RED ONION...
IT'S ABOUT, I DON'T KNOW,
HALF OF A GOOD-SIZED ONION.
AND 6 OUNCES EACH--
IT'S ABOUT 2 1/4 CUPS--
OF GRATED CHEESES.
WE HAVE HERE CHEDDAR CHEESE,
AND HERE WE HAVE OAXACA CHEESE.
OAXACA CHEESE IS, OF COURSE,
NAMED AFTER
THE OAXACA REGION OF MEXICO,
AND THE NAME REPRESENTS ACTUALLY
SEVERAL DIFFERENT VARIETIES
OF CHEESE, ALL WHICH
ARE COW'S MILK,
WHITE AND VERY SMOOTH MELTING.
ONE OF MY FAVORITE EXAMPLES--
ASADERO.
IT'S ACTUALLY SPANISH
FOR BROILER,
AND IT'S A CHEESE THAT IS VERY,
VERY SMOOTH MELTING.
IT'S A PULLED CHEESE,
KIND OF LIKE MOZZARELLA,
BUT THE FLAVOR IS MORE LIKE
UNAGED MONTEREY JACK.
NOW, TO THE HARDWARE.
FIRST, WE MUST PROPERLY
PREP THE OVEN.
IF YOU HAVE A MIDDLE RACK,
REMOVE IT.
GET THE TOP RACK ALL THE WAY UP
AND THE BOTTOM RACK
ALL THE WAY DOWN.
WE NEED PLENTY OF SPACE IN HERE.
GO AHEAD
AND SET YOUR TEMPERATURE
FOR 350 DEGREES.
CONTINUING THE HARDWARE,
WE NEED NOT ONE, NOT TWO,
BUT THREE WIRE COOLING RACKS.
THEY ARE CHEAP, AND I USE THEM
FOR LOTS OF THINGS,
SUCH AS DRAINING RIGS
FOR FRYING.
I PUT THEM IN MY SMOKER.
I USE THEM TO CHANGE
THE OIL IN--OH, NEVER MIND.
IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY OF THESE,
YOU COULD ALWAYS USE PROBABLY,
WELL, GRILL GRATES.
I SAW A GUY DO THIS
WITH COAT HANGERS ONE TIME,
ALTHOUGH I DON'T SUGGEST THAT.
LAST BUT NOT LEAST, SHEET PAN.
BUT FIRST, WE NEED A FOUNDATION
LIKE PARCHMENT PAPER...
SHOULD DO THE TRICK.
BUT BEFORE THE CHIPS GO DOWN,
WE NEED SOME SPACERS,
SOMETHING IN THE 2-INCH RANGE
THAT WILL BE OVEN SAFE,
PERHAPS ALUMINUM FOIL.
PERFECT!
SO WHAT'S WITH
THIS CRAZY CONSTRUCT?
WELL, IT'S ALL ABOUT EVENNESS.
WE WANT EACH CHIP TO HAVE
THE EXACT SAME AMOUNT
OF EACH INGREDIENT,
BUT WE DON'T WANT THE CHIPS
TO BE STUCK TOGETHER INTO
A BIG GUMMY MESS ON THE PLATTER.
AND, OF COURSE, WE WOULD LIKE
TO AVOID THE MICROWAVE.
¶
AHH, HERE WE GO.
PARK IN YOUR PREPPED HOT BOX
FOR ABOUT SEVEN MINUTES
OR UNTIL THE CHEESE
IS NICE AND BUBBLY.
(laughs)
I BET OLD NACHO
DIDN'T THINK OF THIS ONE.
(laughs evilly)
¶
MMM.
AHH.
(laughs)
¶
¶
AND THERE WE HAVE IT,
NACHOS ESPECIALES.
NOW AS FAR AS SERVING GOES,
ODDS ARE GOOD
EVERYONE ON THIS PLANET
HAS DONE THIS BEFORE.
BUT JUST IN CASE
YOU HAVE ANY ALIENS
LIVING WITH YOU
OR IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD,
HERE'S HOW I WOULD DO IT.
A LITTLE BIT OF FRESH CHOPPED
OREGANO GETS SPRINKLED ON--
MEXICAN OREGANO
WOULD BE VERY NICE--
THEN PERHAPS JUST A TOUCH
OF SOUR CREAM
AND, WELL, MAYBE SOME SALSA.
GUACAMOLE--COMPLETELY OPTIONAL.
I THINK THAT
WOULD BE OVERLOAD HERE.
NOW NOTICE WE STILL HAVE
STRUCTURAL INTEGRITY.
THAT'S BECAUSE THE CHEESE
IS SPAN--OH, NEVER MIND.
(crowd chanting and clapping)
HMM, LOOKS LIKE
NACHO'S KUNG FU
ISN'T GONNA BE ENOUGH
TO TURN THIS CROWD.
OH, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE
TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING NEW.
GONNA BE TOUGH, TOO,
WHAT WITH ALL
THAT'S ALREADY BEEN DONE
WITH TORTILLAS
AND, OF COURSE, THE PRESSURE
THAT YOU'RE UNDER.
YOU KNOW, IF I WERE YOU,
I MIGHT BE, SAY,
DIGGING A TUNNEL OR, OH,
YOU KNOW, MAYBE A HELICOPTER.
YOU KNOW, THIS REALLY
ISN'T HELPING.
YOU KNOW
WHAT THEY SAY--
INVENTION
IS 99% DESPERATION.
I THOUGHT THEY SAID
IT WAS PERSPIRATION.
EW.
RE, LET ME ASK
YOU A QUESTION.
HOW MANY FOODS
DO YOU KNOW OF
THAT CAN BE
UNCOOKED BACK
INTO THEIR
ORIGINAL RAW STATE?
NONE. THAT'S CRAZY TALK.
HMM.
YEAH, I GUESS
YOU'RE RIGHT.
WELL, I'M OUT OF HERE.
OHH! (scoffs)
TO BREAK TORTILLAS
BACK DOWN INTO MASA
WOULD REQUIRE
CONSIDERABLE MOISTURE,
A FOOD PROCESSOR AND--WELL,
EVEN IF YOU COULD DO IT,
ALL YOU CAN
MAKE WOULD BE...
TOTS!
OF COURSE!
BEAUTIFUL DELICIOUS
MASA TOTS.
ALL WE HAVE TO DO
IS BREAK DOWN THE TORTILLAS
AND REFORM THEM
INTO A SCOOPABLE DOUGH.
WHY DIDN'T I THINK
OF IT BEFORE?
¶
OUR BATTER BEGINS WITH THE GLUE.
ONE WHOLE EGG
WILL KEEP THINGS TOGETHER.
BUT WE'LL NEED
MORE MOISTURE THAN THAT,
SO 1/2 CUP OF WHOLE MILK.
SOME SEASONING--A TEASPOON
AND A HALF OF KOSHER SALT--
I'M GUESSING--
AND 1/4 TEASPOON
OF FRESHLY GROUND BLACK PEPPER.
AS FOR THE TORTILLAS,
WELL NEED 10 OUNCES,
AND THAT'S ABOUT
20 STANDARD FACTORY ROUNDS.
GO AHEAD AND TEAR THEM
INTO BITE-SIZE MORSELS.
MAKE THE PROCESS
GO A WHOLE LOT QUICKER.
THERE.
NOW WE'RE GONNA PROCESS THIS
FOR TWO TO THREE MINUTES
OR UNTIL WE'VE GOT KIND OF
A LUMPY DOUGH CONSISTENCY.
YOU'LL KNOW YOU'RE DONE
WHEN... RIGHT THERE.
YOU SEE HOW THE DOUGH
IS KIND OF PILING UP
ON THE SIDES OF THE BOWL.
YOU CAN SEE ALL THE WAY DOWN
INTO THE BLADE.
SO WE'LL TURN THAT OFF.
AND HERE WE HAVE
A BOWL CONTAINING
1/4 CUP OF DICED ONION
AND 2 TABLESPOONS
OF MINCED JALAPEÑO.
NOW IF YOU LIKE
THE FLAVOR OF JALAPEÑOS
BUT DON'T LIKE
QUITE AS MUCH FIRE,
YOU CAN SPLIT THEM IN HALF
AND THEN JUST KIND OF
SCOOT YOUR KNIFE DOWN THE CHILI,
REMOVING AS MUCH OF THE MEMBRANE
AND, OF COURSE,
THE SEEDS AS POSSIBLE.
AND THEN YOU CAN JUST DICE
THAT SUCKER RIGHT UP.
NOTICE I DO HAVE A LATEX GLOVE
ON ONE HAND.
THAT'S BECAUSE CAPSAICIN
HAS SERIOUS HANG TIME ON SKIN,
AND, YOU KNOW, I MIGHT HAVE
TO SCRATCH MY EYE OR SOMETHING,
AND THAT WOULD REALLY HURT.
JUST GET THAT DUMPED IN.
AND WE WILL MIX USING
THE BEST TOOL ON EARTH--
THE HUMAN HAND,
CLEAN, OF COURSE.
THERE.
JUST KIND OF SQUEEZE IT AROUND.
AND YOU'LL KNOW IT'S RIGHT
WHEN YOU CAN MAKE A FIST
AND GET ONE OF THOSE.
WE'RE GOOD TO GO.
IN THE PAST,
I HAVE LOOSELY ENDORSED
THE USE OF COUNTERTOP
ELECTRIC FRYERS
FOR THE CONVENIENCE AND SAFETY,
BUT THE TRUTH IS THEY DON'T
MANAGE HEAT VERY WELL,
THE MAIN ISSUE BEING RECOVERY.
THE FOOD GOES IN.
IT TAKES WAY TOO LONG
FOR THE HEAT IN THE OIL
TO BOUNCE BACK, AND THAT CAN
LEAD TO GREASY FOOD.
SO I GENERALLY STICK WITH
THE OLD TRUSTY COMBO
OF A DUTCH OVEN
AND A THERMOMETER,
WHICH GIVES ME
A LITTLE BIT MORE CONTROL.
NOW AS FAR AS
THE COOKING MEDIUM ITSELF,
I AM A FAN OF PEANUT OIL.
IT IS NEUTRAL IN FLAVOR,
AND IT CAN TAKE
AN OBSCENE AMOUNT OF HEAT
BEFORE SMOKING AND DEGRADING.
AND IT DOESN'T TEND
TO STINK UP THE HOUSE.
NOW FOR THOSE OF YOU
WHO LOOK LIKE THIS
WHEN YOU EAT PEANUT PRODUCTS,
I OFFER THIS FUN FACT--
THE ALLERGENS IN PEANUTS
ARE LOCATED
IN THE PROTEIN PORTION
T OF HE NUT,
NOT IN THE FAT.
THESE PROTEINS ARE NOT INCLUDED
IN THE STANDARD
HEAT-PROCESSED PEANUT OIL
THAT MOST FOOD IS FRIED IN.
HOWEVER, IF YOU OR A LOVED ONE
HAVE A PEANUT ALLERGY,
YOU WILL WANT TO AVOID
ORGANIC OR COLD-PRESSED
PEANUT OILS,
WHICH YOU WOULDN'T WANT
TO FRY WITH ANYWAY
BECAUSE OF THEIR EXPENSE
AND RELATIVELY LOW SMOKE POINTS.
ALL THAT SAID, IF PEANUT OIL
JUST ISN'T FOR YOU,
THEN TRY EITHER SAFFLOWER OIL
OR SUNFLOWER OIL
FOR YOUR DEEP-FRYING.
OR SUNFLOWER OIL
FOR YOUR DEEP-FRYING.
¶
AHH, EXCELLENT!
OUR OIL IS IN THE ZONE BETWEEN
365 AND 375 DEGREES.
THAT'S THE GOOD ZONE, NOT
THE OTHER ZONE, THE BAD ZONE.
WE'RE READY TO ROLL.
WE'RE LOOKING FOR CAREFUL
PORTION CONTROL HERE.
I WANT THESE BALLS
TO BE ABOUT AN INCH
TO AN INCH AND A HALF
ACROSS IN THE 2 TEASPOON RANGE,
SO I AM GOING TO USE ONE
OF MY FAVORITE DEVICES,
JUST A LITTLE COOKIE DISHER,
SPRING-LOADED.
THIS HOLDS ABOUT 2 TEASPOONS.
SO TO GET THE RIGHT COMPRESSION,
JUST SCOOP
AND KIND OF PRESS UP AGAINST
THE SIDE OF YOUR BOWL
AND THEN OUT INTO YOUR HAND.
AND WE'RE NOT LOOKING
FOR A REALLY SUPERTIGHT PACK,
JUST A GOOD COHESIVE SHAPE.
THERE.
NOW I'M GONNA WORK IN BATCHES
OF EIGHT OF THESE.
I WANNA MAKE EIGHT
BEFORE GOING TO THE OIL.
OKAY, GOOD.
NOW INTO THE HOT FAT WE GO.
NOW UNLIKE TORTILLAS
THAT WOULD FLOAT
TO THE SURFACE WHEN
THEY'RE DONE, THESE AREN'T.
THEY'RE JUST GONNA SINK
AND STAY SUNK.
SO LET THEM COOK
FOR TWO TO THREE MINUTES,
CHECKING OFTEN
FOR THE CORRECT BROWNING.
¶
IN MEXICO, I BELIEVE
THESE LITTLE SNACKS
WOULD BE CALLED ANTOJITOS.
THAT MEANS "LITTLE WHIMS."
I KIND OF LIKE THAT.
NOW IF YOU WERE TO DITCH
THE ONIONS AND JALAPEÑOS,
REDUCE THE SALT TO 1/2 TEASPOON,
AND REPLACE THE PEPPER
WITH 1 TABLESPOON OF ORANGE ZEST
AND 2 TABLESPOONS OF SUGAR,
YOU WOULD BE ABLE TO CONVERT
YOUR MASA TOTS
TO SWEET ANTOJITOS.
BUT THAT'S ANOTHER SHOW.
¶
OOH, I THINK
IT'S WORKING.
THEY'RE LEAVING.
SO WHAT DID
WE LEARN TODAY?
WELL, I LEARNED THAT
LEFTOVER UTILIZATION
IS REALLY A STATE OF MIND
AND THE TORTILLAS ARE KIND OF
LIKE THE VICE GRIPS
OF THE CULINARY WORLD,
YEAH.
OW! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?
FOR BEING SUCH A GEEK.
HAVE YOU EVER HEARD
OF THE LADY
OF THE REFRIGERATOR?
OH, FIRST COUSIN.
THAT WOULD EXPLAIN
THE HITTING.
OOH, YOUR CREW RETURNS,
AND MY WORK IS DONE.
OKAY, NICE SEEING YOU.
YOU CAN LET
YOURSELF OUT.
MM-HMM, HERE
THEY COME, ALL RIGHT.
WELL, LOOK WHAT
THE FAITHLESS BACKSTABBING CAT
DRUG IN.
WELL, LET'S LET THIS
BE A LESSON TO US ALL.
IF YOU DON'T PLAY WISE
WITH YOUR LEFTOVERS,
YOU'LL END UP WITH PEOPLE
PICKETING YOUR HOUSE,
YOUR CREW ABANDONING YOU
AND, OF COURSE...
(clears throat)
YOU'LL BE INFESTED
BY SOME STRANGE LITTLE
FAIRY-TYPE PERSON.
OH, WELL, SEE YOU NEXT TIME
ON "GOOD EATS."
AAH!
(sighs) I'M WINDED.
CUT.