Gomer Pyle: USMC (1964–1969): Season 5, Episode 3 - The Booty Prize - full transcript

The 'Booty Prize' is an actual lead boot awarded to platoons to embarrass them for mistakes made. Gomer and Sergeants Carter and Hacker all get their foot stuck in it.

Starring... as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring... as
Sergeant Carter.

♪ ♪

All right, you knuckleheads.

Take a good look at it,

the order of the Lead Boot.

The battalion booby prize!

Awarded every six months

to the most fouled-up
platoon in the outfit!

Now tomorrow, our
six months are up,

and I want to get rid of
that thing once and for all!



If we win it tomorrow,

we will be the first
platoon in history

ever to win it three
times in a row!

And since we were the
first platoon in history

to win it twice in a row,

I'm the laughingstock
of the NCO Club.

Now, some of you
might ask... why us?

Are we being picked on?

I don't think so.

Why?

Because certain
members of this platoon

have worked very hard
to win this stupid boot.

How?

By performing
acts of stupidness.



Now, this time, we have a
chance to get rid of this boot

because Sergeant
Hacker's platoon

has been running you a
close second in foul-ups.

So if you can keep your noses
clean until noon tomorrow,

this boot will wind
up in his possession

for the next six months.

And for your
sakes, it had better!

Okay.

Now, look sharp and
hit them work details!

Platoon, ten-hut!

Dismissed! Move, move, move!

Pyle, hold it!

Since you are the
one mainly responsible

for us having this
thing in the first place,

I want you to shine it until
you can see your face in it,

just to remind you that you're

the biggest knucklehead
in the platoon!

Sergeant Carter,

am I really the only one
responsible for this boot?

'Cause if I thought that,

there'd just be one
thing left for me to do,

and that'd be to transfer
out of the platoon.

Oh, would you?

Well, Sergeant...
Pyle, knock it off!

Now, I want to
get rid of this boot.

Now, take it next door and ask
Corporal Slater for the metal polish.

And, for your sake, it
better be the last time

you ever have to shine it.

How you doing?

Okay, I guess, except I'm having
a little trouble holding the boot still.

But Sergeant Carter said he wanted
me to be able to see my face in it.

Well, don't worry
about it, Gomer.

There's worse things
in life than not being able

to see your face in
a boot... Stay with it.

I'm gonna post this
stuff on the bulletin board.

Hi, Sarge.

Where's Sergeant
Carter? He's not here.

Do you know where he went, Gome?

Oh, he went over to
Headquarters, Sergeant Hacker.

At least I think so.

Shining up the old
Booby Boot, huh, pal?

Yeah, Sergeant Carter
wanted it looking real nice

for battalion
ceremonies tomorrow.

You guys have had it so
long, I forgot what it looks like.

You're never gonna
get rid of it, are you?

I don't know, Sarge, but I
think maybe we got a chance.

Oh, yeah? What
makes you think so?

Well, I don't mean
to be disrespectful,

but Sergeant Carter
said that your platoon

might be in the running.

Huh... I don't think so, Pyle.

Face it, you guys are
about to set a new record

with three in a
row, but why fight it?

You've earned it.

Shine, Pyle. You're not shining.

♪ Gomer Pyle. ♪

But you're not shining?

Don't worry about it, Gomer.

His chances of getting that boot

are just as good as ours.

All we have to do is stay on
the ball for the next 24 hours.

Listen for the phone, will
ya? I'll be right outside.

♪ ♪

What happened?

I figured it would be easier
to shine if I slipped it on

like I was doing my own boot.

You're kidding.

No. It went on just fine,

but now I can't get it off.

Oh, brother.

Here. Sit down.

Let me pull it off you.

It's really on there.

What did you have
to put it on for?

I told you, so I could
shine it up good.

I wanted it to look real nice

for the next
platoon that gets it.

How's the next platoon
gonna get it if you're wearing it?

Oh, boy... you know
who's gonna get blamed

for this don't you? Me.

Well, I don't see why.

Because I was here.

For Carter, that's enough.

Gosh...

I'm sorry.

What we gonna do?

The only thing we can
do... Here, sit down.

Sit down.

Let me have a look at it.

Oh, good.

There's just a couple of
wing nuts holding it on.

We'll take this board off,

go down to the metal shop,
have the boot cut off your foot

and have them weld
it back together again.

They can weld it back
so nobody'll notice.

Well, I can't walk around
with this thing on, Duke.

And besides, I'm supposed to be

on clean-up detail
in five minutes.

Okay, okay, don't panic.

Let's figure this
thing out scientifically.

You've gotta be on
clean-up detail in five minutes.

Otherwise, Carter'll come
looking for you, right?

I guess so.

Then it's very simple.

You gotta be there.

Hut, two, three, four.
Hut, two, three, four.

To your left. To your left.

To your left, two, three, four.

Hut, two, three, four...

What time have you got?

1600, Sarge.

18 more hours.

Just 18 more hours
without a foul-up

and Hacker's guys
get stuck with the boot.

With a little luck,
we might just make it.

Ah, sure we'll make it, Sarge.

Eight of those hours
the guys'll be in the sack.

Don't bet on it.

Two of them still
walk in their sleep.

Two, three, four.
Hut, two, three, four.

Hut, two, three, four.
Hut, two, three, four.

Hut, two, three, four...

Detail, halt!

Fall out.

What is that?!

Gomer, what are you doing here?

Well, I'm mopping the floor
like Sergeant Carter said.

Oh, he's liable to walk
in here any minute.

Finish up and get out of here.

You want him to see
you with that thing on?

It ain't finished yet.

You're finished.
Let's go. Come on.

All right, you people,
knock off for chow.

It's Sergeant Carter.

Quick, hide the boot!

Slater, what happened
to them supply requisitions

we sent over to the...?

Pyle...

Do you know you've got
your foot in the bucket?

Well, so I have.

W... Well, will
you look at that.

His, his foot's in the bucket.

He probably
doesn't even know it.

The water must be the
same temperature as the air.

Hold it, Slater!

Pyle, get your stupid foot
out of that stupid bucket!

Yeah, take it outside
and get out of it, Gomer.

You look silly in it.

Come on.

Hold it!

What's going on here?

Pyle, get your
foot out of there.

The fact is, Sergeant,
it's stuck in there.

Slater, grab that bucket and
get that knucklehead outta there.

Right, Sergeant.

Now, Sarge, don't do it.

There's a perfectly logical
explanation for all of this.

If-if you'll just allow me to...

Well, you see, what
happened, Sergeant,

After you told me to
shine it up real good,

I had the awfulest
time holding it still, so I...

Shut up, Pyle.

Slater, did you know about this?

Well, we thought we'd
wait till after duty hours

and go over to the metal
shop and have it cut off.

Cut off?

You were gonna have it cut off?

We was gonna have it
welded back together again.

And what about the seam?

What were you gonna
cover the seam with?

You two knuckleheads
were gonna ruin it,

and then I'd have to explain
to the colonel how it got ruined.

There's no other way,
Sarge. It's really stuck on there.

I'll show you how stuck it is!

Grab that boot.

All right, Slater, pull!

Is it coming, Gome?

I don't think so.

Knock it off, Slater. Pull!

It's no use, Sarge.

It's not gonna work.

Oh, no, that's not gonna work.

It's not gonna work
with just two of us pulling.

Pull!

Pull!

Pull!

Got it, Sarge.

Thanks, men.

I still don't get it.

How could he be stupid enough

to get stuck in this
thing in the first place?

Well, he thought it'd be

easier to shine if
it was on his foot.

Yeah, but if he got it on,
why couldn't he get it off?

That's the part I don't get.

Anything that goes
on has gotta come off.

Yeah. You'd think so.

Well, don't just stand there!

Pull, dummy! Pull!

Slater!

Slater, we're moving.

Hang onto something, Sarge.

Hold it!

You dummy!

I gotta hang on to something!

Yeah, here we are.

Yeah. Sit.

All right, pick up the boot.

Pull.

Pull!

Come on, pull!

Slater!

How many times have I told
you to keep that file locked?

Why don't we go get the guys
and do like we did with Gomer...

Tug-of-war?

And let them see
me wearing this thing?

What, are you crazy?

We just need something
to loosen it up, like...

like... powder.

Yeah, that's it, foot powder.

In the locker, Slater... get it.

Oh, here it is, Sarge.

"Toujour Fresh.

Gardenia-scented foot
powder for lovely smelling feet."

Give me that!

Sprinkle some in the boot.

See if you can work
it in a little bit, Sarge.

How's it feel?

Not bad.

I think it's working in.

Let's give it a try.

If I ever get this thing off,

I'm going to have Pyle
bronzed and mounted.

Go ahead.

Oh, wait a minute.

What's wrong, Sarge?

The chair's going to
move again, dummy.

I need something
solid to hang onto.

Good thinking, Sarge. What?

The window.

I'll hang on to the windowsill.

Well, hey, Sergeant Carter.

I'm glad everything worked
out all right with that boot.

That sure was a
smart idea of yours.

What you doing, Sergeant?

Slater, I'm slipping...!

Sergeant Carter, what
in the world happened?

Here, let me help you...

Pyle, if you touch
me I'll kill you.

Why, Sergeant, you're wearing
the Order of the Lead Boot.

What happened, Duke?

Well, Sergeant Carter
accidentally got stuck in the boot

and we were trying
to pull him out.

Well, don't worry, Sergeant,

I'll run next door
and get the fellas

and we'll have you
right out of it in a second.

Just like you done with me.

Pyle, come back here!

You won't go nowhere and
you won't say nothing to nobody.

There are three people on
this base that know about this,

and that's the way
it's going to stay.

Sarge, why don't we do what
we were going to do with Gomer,

take it down to the metal
shop and have it cut off.

We can't do that, Duke.

Don't you remember
what Sergeant Carter said?

When we welded it
back up it'd leave a seam.

So it will leave a
seam, so what?

Let's get it off.

Suppose somebody
sees us going over there?

Nobody will see us.

We'll camouflage it.

Camouflage it?

Hey, Vince. Hey, Vince.

Hey, Vince, what
happened to your foot?

My foot? Yeah.

You mean this foot?

Yeah, yeah, what happened?

Well, uh... uh... a
large thing landed on it.

No kidding? What was it?

Well, it... It was
a big lead thing.

Lead?

Yeah, this big lead thing.

Boom, right on my foot.

Well, I'll be darned.

How long do you
have to wear that thing?

The sergeant's on his way to
get that taken care of right now.

But the hospital's
a long way, Vince.

How come you didn't drive?

Yeah, how come we didn't drive?

Well, we, uh... Exercise.

The doctor said he's
supposed to exercise it, Sarge.

Yeah, you know, uh...

walk around on it
so it don't get stiff.

Hey, Vince, where you going?

The hospital's this way.

Oh, yeah, that's right.

The hospital's that way.

I forgot. Can you imagine that?

It's 1645, Sarge. They're gone.

Gone? What do you mean gone?

Why would they go so early?

Suppose there's an emergency.

What kind of emergency
can you have in a metal shop?

This! This is an emergency!

Maybe we could borrow a
little saw from the hobby shop.

Then Duke and
me could saw your...

Forget it, Pyle.

I ain't about to let
you two dummies

close to me with anything sharp.

Come on, let's go.

Well, don't worry
about it, Sergeant.

The sign on the metal
shop said they'd be open

at 7:30 in the morning.

Don't worry?

The ceremony's at noon.

How do I know how
long it's going to take them

to get this thing off and get it
welded back together again?

Oh, is that sore.

All that pulling and tugging,

it's really swollen
in there, Sarge.

That's right.

It'll feel a lot better in
the morning, Sergeant,

after the swelling goes down.

Don't be an idiot, Pyle.

I ain't going to bed
with this thing on.

We got to get it off tonight.

But as long as your foot's
swollen in there, it won't come off.

Then we'll just have to
get the swelling down.

Hey, that's it.

What do you do when
you sprain your ankle?

You put ice on it, and that
takes the swelling down.

We can't put any ice on
your foot... it's inside the boot.

Don't you think I
know that, Slater?

We don't need ice.

The foot will go down
when we cool me off.

And we'll do that in the
coldest place I know...

The freezer in the mess hall.

How long has it been?

Watch that light.

Hacker's duty hut's
right outside that window.

I'm sorry, Duke.

I guess I'm just
a little nervous.

Well, try to be more careful.

What time is it? It's 12:30.

He's been in there
about 20 minutes.

He should be about done.

We better check.

Sergeant Carter,
are you all right?

He can't hear
you... The earmuffs.

Oh.

Sergeant Carter,

does it feel like it's
loosening up any?

Yeah.

I-I think so.

Try it again.

Yeah.

I think I felt it
slip a little bit.

Just leave me alone
a few more minutes,

and it'll come right off.

Right, Sergeant. Mm-hmm.

Who's in there?

It's Hacker!

Oh, mercy! What we gonna do?

We got to get out of here.

Open the back
door. I'll get the sarge.

Sarge, quick! It's
Sergeant Hacker!

We got to get out of here!

Sergeant Hacker's coming in!

Hacker?! We got to
get out of here! Right!

Duke, the back door's locked.

Is that you back there, Jensen?

We're trapped!

I can't let him see
me with this boot on.

You guys tell him
you-you stopped in

for a snack or something.

Duke, his foot.

It's empty!

Slater. Pyle.

What are you two doing here?

Well, we were a hungry;

we decided to have
a little midnight snack.

You what?!

Well, you see, what
happened really was...

But this is a Marine
Corps mess hall,

not your mother's kitchen.

You want a snack?

You'll have it with 200
other guys at breakfast.

Now, get out of here
before I have you both

thrown in the brig.

Right, Sarge.

But... Come on, Gome.

Good night, Charlie.

It's where, Sarge?

In the freezer.

Well, you didn't
expect me to carry it out

right in front of him, did you?

Go get it, Pyle.

But Sergeant Hacker just told us

to get out of there, or he'd
have us thrown in the brig.

Just get the boot, Pyle.

Hey, Sergeant Hacker.

What do you want, Pyle?

W-Well, sir, to
tell you the truth,

uh, I came back
to get that boot.

Oh, you did, huh?

Well, suppose you just tell me
what the Battalion Booby Boot

is doing in my freezer
in the middle of the night.

Well, sir, uh, Sergeant
Carter left it in there,

and he sent me back to get it.

I know he left
it in there, Pyle.

But what was he
doing in there with it?

Well, sir...

Give it to me straight, Pyle, or
I'll have you thrown in the brig

for trespassing where
you don't belong.

Well, sir, uh...
he was wearing it.

Huh?

Well, you see, what happened
was I accidentally put my foot

into it, and we just had
an awful time getting it off.

And then I guess Sergeant
Carter got kind of curious

and wondered if he could
put his foot in and get it out.

You're kidding.

No, sir. I guess
there's just something

about that big old empty boot
that just kind of makes people

want to put their foot in it,

you know, maybe
out of curiosity.

Yeah?

Well, I'm not drawn,
and I'm not curious.

So suppose you
just beat it now, Pyle.

Well, Sergeant Hacker, uh,

could I have the boot back?

No, Pyle.

I'm gonna give
it to the colonel,

so he can give it back
to Sergeant Carter.

But the colonel's gonna
ask me where I got it,

so I'm just gonna tell him

what you just told me.

What's taking him so long?

Maybe he got
locked in the freezer.

I ain't that lucky.

Where's the boot, Pyle?

Sergeant Hacker's got it.

Hacker's got it?!

Well, when I opened
the freezer door,

there he was standing
with it in his hand.

Why didn't you ask him for it?

Well, I did, Duke, but then
he asked me how it got there.

And?

Well...

seeing as how I
couldn't tell him a lie,

I told him.

You told him?

Pyle, now I got to
go back in there,

and I got to beg him to
give me that boot back

and to keep his mouth
shut, or I'll never be able

to show my face at
the NCO Club again!

All right, Pyle.

I'm gonna get that boot back,

and this time, I ain't
gonna put your foot in it,

I'm gonna stuff
all of you in it!

Charlie?

Yeah, Vince?

Look, Charlie,

we've known each other
for a long time, right?

I mean, I know we've
had our differences,

but something like
this boot thing, well...

It's like Pyle said, I was
the victim of circumstances.

It could've happened to anybody.

Look, Charlie, if you
give me the boot back

and promise not to say
anything, I'll give you anything.

Anything?

You name it, Charlie.

Okay. Neither one of us says
anything about this business,

and you got a deal.

Oh, thanks, Charlie.

Thank you.

What do you want?

Help me get it off.

I had him.

I had him right
where I wanted him,

and I let him off the hook.

Why didn't you stop me?

We didn't know, Sarge.

Who figured he'd
be dumb enough to...

Watch it! Sorry, Sarge.

Don't you think we better
check on Sergeant Hacker?

He's been in there
purt-near half an hour. Hmm?

Yeah, I guess you're right.

All right.

Hold it right there, you men.

Oh, Lieutenant Anderson!

Good evening, sir!

Oh, it's you, Sergeant Carter.

What are you and your men
doing here at this time of night?

Uh, well, sir, we, uh, uh...

How much longer, Vince?

I'm freezing to death!

Oh, oh... Sergeant
Hacker...? Yes, sir.

It seems I got my foot
caught in this boot, sir.

I was just trying to get it off.

Thank you, Sergeant.

For what, sir?

Well, at our staff
meeting this afternoon,

we couldn't decide whether
your platoon or Sergeant Carter's

was going to get
this award tomorrow.

I think you've
just broken the tie.

Good night, gentlemen.

Uh, by the way,

what makes you men
think sitting in a freezer

is going to help
him get that boot off?

Oh, it'll work just fine, sir.

Same way we got it off
Sergeant Carter just a while ago.

The way you got it
off Sergeant Carter?

Tell me about it, Pyle.

I think we may be
all tied up again.

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