Gomer Pyle: USMC (1964–1969): Season 5, Episode 26 - Flower Power - full transcript

Three hippies help Gomer camouflage a marine van, only they paint bright daisies on it instead.

Starring... as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring... as
Sergeant Carter.

♪ ♪

For this job, Slater,

I want only the best men.

And I don't want anyone
lousing up Blue Team's chances.

This is one exercise the
colonel really wants to win, huh?

Which is exactly

why he put me in charge
of communications.

I got the experience,
I got the know-how...

Sergeant Carter?



And I got Pyle.

Yeah, what's on your mind, Pyle?

Sergeant, I didn't
get any gloves.

All the other fellows was
issued gloves except me.

I guess there's some mistake.

No, Pyle, it's no mistake.

Since you won't be
handling any wire,

you won't be needing any gloves.

You want me to climb the poles?

I'm a real good
climber, Sergeant.

Why, back home
during apple season...

No, you won't be
climbing poles, either.

Well, I bet I know, Sergeant.

I'm gonna be the field antenna,



crawling around
up there at the front

with that new RC-12 aerial.

You ain't gonna be the antenna.

I got a very
special job for you.

Come with me, Pyle.

You know, part of
our job tomorrow

is to set up a mobile
command post

right here, see?

Where that little pin is? Yeah.

Right where that little pin is.

There'll be a large van

with a lot of radio
equipment in it, see?

And you're putting
me in charge of that?

Uh, no.

Well, what am I
gonna do with it?

You're gonna paint it.

Paint it?

That's right, Pyle.

You take a brush,
you dip it in a bucket,

and you go up and
down, up and down.

Not back and
forth... Up and down.

Except you are gonna
do it with camouflage paint.

Well, Sergeant, that really
don't seem too important

being so far behind the lines.

I was hoping I'd be up
there in the front with you.

That's your job, Pyle,

to camouflage the mobile
command post all by yourself.

Think you can handle it?

Well, I guess I can.

Of course you can.

It's delicate work, but I
know I can count on you.

Well, I'll do the best job in
the whole house, Sergeant.

Even if it ain't
up at the front.

Remember, Pyle,

they also serve who
only stand and paint.

Well, this is it, Pyle.

The paint's in that jeep.

When you're done
drive it back. Yes, sir.

Now, just paint it all over

with regulation camouflage paint

so it blends in
with the scenery.

Yes, sir. I'll fix it

where nobody will
be able to see it.

That's the stuff.

Now I got a feeling

it's gonna take
quite a while to paint.

But I want you to do a
good job so take your time.

Even if it takes you all day.

Just be back by 1800.

Don't worry, Sergeant,
I'll take my time

and I'll do a real
good job for you.

Uh, one more thing, Pyle.

Don't go inside the van.

There's a lot of very expensive
radio equipment in there.

I won't, Sergeant. Okay.

See you tonight, Pyle.

Good luck!

Hey there. Hi. Hey, man.

Whatcha doin'?

I'm camouflaging this truck.

Hmm?

I-I'm painting it so
nobody can find it.

Oh, how come you don't
want anybody to find it?

Oh, well, see, we're gonna have

this exercise here tomorrow.

The Red Team and the Blue
Team... And I'm on the Blue Team...

And the Red Team will
be looking for this here van

and I'm painting it
so they can't find it.

Oh.

I guess he's doing his thing.

Yeah, it-it is the thing that
Sergeant Carter gave me to do.

Hmm. Hey, uh,

you know you got
this truck parked

right up on top a
bunch of daisies.

I have?

Oh wow, look at that, man!

They're all closing up.

They can't get
any sun like that.

Yeah, why don't
you, uh, move it a little

and let the daisies get the sun.

Golly, I can't do that.

Why not?

They wouldn't want me to.

Who's they? The marines.

Marines hate daisies?

Oh, no, they don't hate daisies.

It's just that they've
got rules and regulations

and they're very strict.

If they put something somewhere,

they're apt to get pretty
sore if somebody moves it.

Those marines
sound really uptight.

Well, as sorry as I can
be about the daisies

I still can't move the truck.

It's your conscience, man.

Them daisies are
on your conscience.

Oh, don't bug him
it's not his fault.

I mean, it's the
establishment thing.

How come you
parked this truck here?

Oh, I didn't park it.

You didn't?

You mean, you just found it here

and decided to paint it?

Wow, that's pretty far out!

By the way, I'm Michele.

This here is
Moondog and Geordie.

I-I'm Gomer Pyle.

Gomer... Gomer Pyle?

Gomer... Pyle... Gomer...

I like the first part... Gomer.

Yeah.

But that Pyle, man, that's ugly.

You ought to just
call yourself Gomer.

I mean, after all, all
you need's one name.

Yeah, like Donovan.

Oh, I'm afraid I
couldn't do that.

The marines require
you to have two names.

As a matter of the fact,

the last name's more
important than the first.

They call me Pyle a whole lot
more than they call me Gomer.

But that's the ugly one.

Hey, I know, we'll
give you a new name.

Something really beautiful
that expresses you.

Greensleeves.

Yeah!

Greensleeves?

Well you do have 'em.

And it is kind of poetic.

Yeah, and it's
not ugly like Pyle.

How long are you
gonna be painting here?

Well, I guess I'll be
here the rest of the day.

Sergeant said, if I
got back too early,

he'd know I didn't
do a good job.

Why don't you just
cool it for a while

and have something
to eat with us.

Yeah, I got some celery

and some oranges and
some sunflower seeds.

Yeah, I got some
honey and yogurt.

We'll have a feast.

Well, thank you very
much that's real nice,

but, well, it ain't
lunchtime yet.

You hungry?

Yes, as a matter of fact, I am.

It's lunchtime.

There.

How's that for camouflage?

Yeah, it's out of sight.

How do you like it?

Well, it's real interesting.

But you might have some
trouble getting that paint off.

Well, if it's pretty,
I'll just leave it on.

You know, I was just wondering.

Are you folks just out
for the day or what?

We're just sort of hanging out

for this part of our life.

Oh.

Well, I was just thinkin',

if you don't have
a job or anything

and just got time on your hands,

maybe the service
might be your answer.

What service is that?

The marines.

What would we do in the marines?

Oh, you'd have a nice full day.

You get up at
5:30 in the morning,

then you go to breakfast

and then you have a
half hour of calisthenics;

and then there's
always some job to do

with a pick or an
axe or a shovel.

Maybe just clean up an area.

Or sometimes you go
on a nice 25-mile hike.

Wow, I been in jails that
sound better than that.

Yeah, I don't think the
marines is for me either.

I mean you always have
to be at a certain place

at a certain time and
I'm undependable.

I mean, I-I got to be free.

That's why I don't
want any possessions;

you know like owning anything.

For instance if
you have a couch,

you know first thing you
know you got this couch

you can't go anywhere.

Sorry I can't go to
the beach with you,

I can't go to the desert, I
gotta sit here on my couch.

Right, like my-my old
man used to have this car...

This big sedan.

And he... and he loved it,
I mean, he really loved it.

He was all the time shinin'

and taking care of it.

And then one
night, I borrowed it.

And I got into
this little accident.

Well, it wasn't exactly
a little accident...

To tell you the
truth, I totaled it.

But I mean for the longest time
he wouldn't even speak to me.

And I mean we-we were
buddies... Him and me.

We were really tight.

I-I mean, I didn't even call
him Dad; I called him Phil.

We were on a first name basis.

He wouldn't speak
to me and I figured

if that a bunch of tin could
come between buddies

where is that at, you know?

Yeah, it's people.

That's all that really
counts, not things.

Things just can't
make you feel this good.

Well, some things are nice.

Like that guitar.

It makes nice music and
that can make you happy.

♪ The answer, my friend ♪

♪ Is blowin' in the wind ♪

That's nice. ♪ The answer
is blowin' in the wind... ♪

I like that.

Sing it with us.

♪ How many roads
must a man walk down ♪

♪ Before you can
call him a man? ♪

♪ How many seas
must a white dove sail ♪

♪ Before she
sleeps in the sand? ♪

♪ How many times
must the cannonballs fly ♪

♪ Before they're
forever banned? ♪

♪ The answer, my friend,
is blowin' in the wind ♪

♪ The answer is
blowin' in the wind ♪

♪ How many times
must a man look up ♪

♪ Before he can see the sky? ♪

♪ How many ears
must one man have ♪

♪ Before he can
hear people cry? ♪

♪ How many deaths
will it take till he knows ♪

♪ That too many
people have died? ♪

♪ The answer, my friend,
is blowin' in the wind ♪

♪ The answer is
blowin' in the wind. ♪

Yeah! Nice.

That was nice. Yeah.

Oh, I like you, Greensleeves.

You got a beautiful face, man.

You send off some
good vibrations, too.

I like your face, too.

Even with all that paint on it.

Golly, look at the time.

I better get back
to my paintin'.

Oh, we'll help ya! Yeah! Sure!

Oh, I couldn't ask you
to do that. Why not?

We're the ones hung you
up. It's the least we could do.

Yeah. Listen, man,
I'm a good painter.

I once painted a whole
closet for a friend of mine.

It turned out great.

When it was done it
wasn't a closet anymore.

Well, you sure you
wouldn't mind? Come on,

No. let us do a good
job for you, man.

You know you don't
have much time.

With all the rapping
we've been doing,

we could have had
it done by now. Yeah.

You finish your side and
we'll do the other side.

I'm still not sure I
should let you do this.

Oh, don't worry about it.

It'll be groovy. Yeah,
we'll all get it on together.

How you doing?

We're all finished on our side.

Come on and take a look. Okay.

What have you done?

We just went over the little
green truck like you told us.

Picked up the brushes and, uh...

But this is sign paint.

You used all the wrong colors.

You're only supposed to
use three basic colors...

Green, beige and black.

But that's what's
wrong with the world.

It's all green, beige and black.

It needs a little pink
and orange and saffron.

Some happy colors.

I don't think it's what
Sergeant Carter had in mind.

But I sure don't
have time to repaint it.

Man, you worry too much.

I think it's great.

Well, it sure don't look like
the mobile command post.

Well, ain't that the idea?

Hold it, Pyle.

Why we stopping here, Sergeant?

The mobile command post
is in that clearing down there.

And I want to see what
kind of camouflage job

Pyle did on it.

Well I sure hope
you like it, Sergeant.

It didn't turn out exactly
like I thought it would.

Well, I want to
take a look at it.

Huh.

Not bad.

Not bad at all.

Yeah, you can't even see it.

Yeah.

It really blends in
with the scenery.

It does, doesn't it?

Uh, wait a second, Sarge.

I can see it now.

You see that bright spot?

The sun is shining on
one of the headlights.

Oh. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I can see it now.

Pyle, you should've
painted that.

A thing like that can be
spotted from a long ways away!

Come on.

Huh?

Where is it, Pyle?

Well, it should be
right here, Sergeant.

Right here? Where?

Hey, Sarge, here's the
thing that was shining...

One of the paint cans.

Where is it, Pyle?!

Well, I don't know, Sergeant.

It was parked right here
on top of these daisies.

Well, it ain't right here now!

I know. Well, where is it?!

I don't know.

Pyle, you mean you lost
the mobile command post?!

How could you do it, Pyle?

It was 19 feet
long, 12 feet high

and weighed five
and a half tons.

You can't misplace
a thing like that!

I know, Sergeant.

To tell you the truth, I
just can't figure out...

Pyle, it's worth $60,000,
and you're responsible for it!

If you don't find it,

you're gonna be working it
off until you're 300 years old!

Well, I'll find it, Sergeant.

It can't be far.

Well, how did you
lose it in the first place?

A wristwatch, I can
understand, a flashlight.

But a mobile command
post, that's impossible!

Hey, Sarge. CARTER: Huh?

Come here.

Look, some guys
were camping here.

There's a burned-out fire,
and-and some orange peels.

Yeah.

Pyle, was there
anybody around here?

Well, yeah.

To tell you the truth, Sergeant,

there were some
other people here.

There were?

Yes, sir.

They came along
while I was working.

They helped me to paint.

They was real
nice folks, though.

It was two fellers and a girl.

They dressed kind of funny.

They had on these old

clothes and wore
beads and had long hair.

Beads and long hair.
Were they hippies, Gomer?

Well, I don't know
what you'd call them.

They just looked
like folks to me.

Their names was Michele,
Geordie and Moondog.

Moondog?

That's it.

They drove away with it, Pyle.

Them hippies stole
my command post!

I don't think they'd do a
thing like that, Sergeant.

Of course, they was
worried about the daisies.

The daisies?!

Pyle, you nitwit!

Sergeant Carter. What is it?!

The colonel wants
to see you, Sergeant.

He tried to reach you by phone,

but he couldn't get through.

Uh-oh.

Okay, I'm coming.

Slater, check the men.

I got to go see the
colonel. Right, Sergeant.

Pyle, I just want
one thing from you!

You better find
that... you know what.

Get me?

Yes, sir, I sure do.

All right, let's go.

Remember, find
it, drive it back here,

and park it on them daisies!

Sergeant Carter
reporting as ordered, sir.

Oh, yes, Carter. At ease.

You know, I've been
checking all the units,

and everything seems to be okay

except for the
mobile command post.

I can't seem to
get through to it.

Is everything all
right down there?

Well, I guess it is, sir.

Uh, I mean, there's no
reason it shouldn't be.

I don't understand it.

I've tried a number of times,

and I can't get anything at all.

Well, that's not quite accurate.

I did get an answer
once, but it was a mistake,

some civilian.

A civilian, sir?

Yes.

Poor fellow.

Sounded like I just woke him up.

Probably a ham radio operator.

Uh, did he say
where he was, sir?

What?

Why, I assume he
was in his home.

Oh, right, sir. Of course.

You know, there are a lot
of radio phones in this area,

in homes, in boats, in cars.

I probably hit the
wrong frequency.

You try it.

Me, sir? Yes, you.

Uh, is there any reason
why you shouldn't?

Oh, no, sir.

Uh, not at all.

Yeah.

Hello? Hello?

Did you raise them, Sergeant?

Well, I-I'm not sure, sir.

The transmission
is, uh, very weak.

Uh, with the
colonel's permission,

I'll put the antenna outside.

Is this Moondog?

You want Moondog?

Just a second.

Hey, Moondog.

Yeah? Moondog, it's for you.

Yeah? This is Moondog.

Who?

It's the fuzz, some sergeant.

Hang it up.

Hello? Hello?

Did you have the van, Sergeant?

Well, I don't know, sir.

I'm not sure.

It went dead. I'll try again.

Peace.

Huh?

It's a woman, sir.

Oh, it's probably that
civilian home again.

Tell them you're sorry.

Yes, sir.

Uh, ma'am... where
are you talking from?

I mean, what is
your exact location?

Sergeant!

Well, I just thought
I'd send them a note

of apology, sir.

Hello?

It's awful early.

Could you call back later, huh?

Hello? Hello?

What did she say, Sergeant?

She said I should
call her back later.

Well, hang up.

Yes, sir.

I'm going to check
with Lieutenant Brigham

on these frequencies.

Maybe he has an
explanation for this.

Hello! Hello! Anybody in there?

Open up!

Hey, man. What's happening?

What are you doing here?

Why'd you move the van?

Oh, well, it was the
daisies, you know.

I mean, they were going
down for the third time.

But you got me in
all kinds of trouble.

You should have never
driven the van over here.

I'm sorry, man.

Uh, we meant to bring
it back before sunrise,

but I guess we overslept.

Hi. Beautiful day, isn't it?

Oh, hey there.

Listen, I got to drive
this van back right now.

Hey, do you know anything
about this phone in here?

Phone?

Yeah, it keeps
buzzing all the time.

There's this Sergeant
Carter calling.

He's really weird.

Sergeant Carter?

Oh, my goodness.

Yeah, he's on the
phone right now.

You want to talk to him?

Well, I sure better.

Hello? Hello?

Who is this?

Who?

It's me, Sergeant.

I'm at the van; I found it.

Good! Good!

It's Private Pyle, sir.

He's at the van. He is?

What's going on out there?

Uh, Pyle, where...

I mean, how is
everything down there?

I don't know exactly
know where we are.

I think it's west of where it's
supposed to be, about a mile.

Uh-huh. Uh huh.

Well, can you get it back...

the way it was?

There's a slight thing
in the equipment, sir,

and they're trying to fix it.

Well, tell them to hurry it up.

Uh, yes, sir.

Uh, just do the best you can,

and, uh, and
I'll be right there.

End transmission.

I'm going over there, sir.

I might be able to help,

and I can certainly
hurry them along.

Just a minute,
Sergeant. I'll go with you.

What, sir?

I said I'm coming with you.

I want to make sure
it's working properly.

Uh, but, Colonel, I know
that I can handle this with no...

Oh, I'm sure you can, Sergeant.

But I'm going with you.

But, sir... Let's go.
My jeep is outside.

Aye, aye, sir.

Where is it, Sergeant?

Well, sir, it's, uh,
it's supposed to be

right over there, sir.

Sergeant, it's not here.

Well, well, the colonel
certainly is right.

It doesn't seem to be, sir.

Well, where is it?

Well... Well...

You see, sir...
Colonel Gray, sir.

Oh, Swanson. What is it?

How long have
you been here, sir?

Just a few seconds. Why?

Good. A Red squad
just came through here

about five minutes ago.

They neutralized
this whole area.

If you'd been here,
you'd be captured, sir.

Then they captured
the command post.

That's what you didn't want
to tell me, eh, Sergeant?

The command post
has been captured.

Huh? Oh, no, sir.

It couldn't have been captured.

It wasn't here!

It's been moved!

What? You moved it?

You mean, you had a hunch
there was an attack coming.

Well, you might say that, sir.

I see.

Well, you took a big
chance doing a thing like that

without orders, Sergeant.

But in this case, it paid off.

I commend your initiative.

Oh, thank you, sir.

Now, where did you move it to?

To, sir?

Over there, sir!

I brought it back, Sergeant.

I had a little trouble
finding this place again,

but I just followed the
tracks, and here it is.

Look at that, Lieutenant!

They disguised it
like a hippie wagon!

That was a clever
idea, Sergeant.

Very clever.

Oh, thank you, sir.

And look at that.

Even the men are
dressed as hippies!

And one of them
is dressed like a girl!

Congratulations, Carter.

This was a stroke of genius.

Thank you, sir!

How did you ever manage it
all... the wigs, the costumes?

Oh, well, I, uh...
Never mind, Sergeant.

I'm satisfied.

It was such a brilliant idea,

I don't ever want
to hear about it.

Very well, sir.

You can say our lips are sealed.

Right, Pyle?

Hey, Sarge, they
just posted the results

of the maneuvers; we won.

Yeah? By how many points?

One. One?!

One stinking point? Yeah.

The one we got when
we captured the Red Patrol

that was looking for our
hippie command post.

Oh.

Sergeant Carter.

What do you want, Pyle?

I've got a present for you.

A present? From who?

From Moondog.

The hippie?

That's right, Duke.

Sergeant, he said
you looked so uptight

when you saw the mobile
command post that he thought

maybe you needed some
internal peace and tranquility.

What are you
talking about, Pyle?

Well, this, Sergeant.

A necklace?

You brought me a necklace?!

Slater, call the MPs!

Well, these are peace
beads, Sergeant.

Peace beads?

It's a string of kidney beans.

What do you want
me to do with them?

Well, it's simple,
Sergeant, I'll show you.

Atten-hut!

Sergeant, I just
wanted to congratulate

you and your men on the...

Peace beads, Sergeant?

Kidney beans, sir.

Out of uniform, Sergeant.

Yes, sir.

Carry on, Sergeant.