Gomer Pyle: USMC (1964–1969): Season 5, Episode 2 - Corporal Duke - full transcript

Starring... as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring... as
Sergeant Carter.

♪ ♪

All right, now here it is.

There's an NCO seminar
up in San Francisco

starting tomorrow,
and I'm going.

I'm leaving tonight,

and I will be
gone for four days.

Now, in case you got any ideas

of the next four days
being a holiday, forget it.

I got a new man coming in.

He's going to be the new
corporal for this platoon.

And what I asked
headquarters for

was a gung ho, hard-nosed,
by-the-book marine.

Now he's going to
be in complete charge,

so everything will
be well in hand.

All right, that's all.

Platoon, ten... hut!


Hey, Sergeant, Sergeant Carter?

What is it, Pyle?

I'm in kind of a hurry.

I just wanted to tell you,

I've got this married cousin

that lives up near
San Francisco...

Mary-Lou Kissinger.

She's married to a butcher,

and I'm sure that if you
had any time, they'd be...

No, I won't, Pyle.
I'm going to be busy.

Well, Sergeant, I'm sure she'd
cook you a wonderful meal.

She always was a terrific cook,

even when she was single.

Her maiden name was Pridgeon

and, boy, she
could always cook...

That's good to
know. See ya, Pyle.

Well, I'm sure they'd love to
see you if you have the time.

They live on Route
4 about seven miles

outside of Watsonville.

Kissinger, Sergeant, Kissinger.

Where is this guy, Harry?

Here I am all set to go.

Oh, he is.

Well, good.

Now, listen, you're
sure he's tough, huh?

I mean, you know this platoon.

They need somebody on
their back every second like me.

Yeah? He sounds good.

Yeah, yeah, tough, that's right.

Just a minute, Harry.

What can I do for you?

Remember me, Sarge, Duke Slater?

I was in the platoon last year.

Oh, yeah... Slater.

What are you doing here?

You on leave or something? No, I've
been transferred back. I'm here for good.

Oh. One second, huh?

I'm sorry, Harry, but
a guy just came in

that used to be in my outfit.

Yeah, but listen,
what's the name

of this new corporal
you're sending over?


Corporal Slater?

That's right.

Harry, listen, what is
this, a gag or something?

Slater... I know this guy.

He used to be in my outfit.

The worst goof-off I ever had.

What do you mean
there's nobody else?

Listen, I'm going to be gone

for four days, and I ain't
leaving my platoon in...

Hello? Hello?

So you're the new corporal, huh?

That's right.

Well, I'll tell you something.

I ain't taking no trip.

I'm staying right here, and
I'm putting in for a new corporal.

Nothing personal, mind you.

Sarge, can I say
something? What?

Well, I know just how you feel.

You're thinking of me
the way I used to be.

That's right...
old goldbricking,

Duke Slater.

That's how I remember you,

and that's why I'm
getting a new corporal.

And I'm going to
headquarters personally to do it.

Wait a minute, just
hear me out, will ya?

All right, I'll hear you out.

I've got a whole new attitude.

As a matter of fact,
I'm even thinking about

making the Marines my career.

Yeah? Yeah, that's why I
put in for leadership school.

And I made it, Sarge,
with flying colors.

That's how I got
my stripe. Great.

And I'll tell you
something else.

I graduated in the top
ten percent of my class.

Well, fine. That's
all great, Slater,

but this just ain't
gonna work out.

You're just not my kind of guy.

But you've got to give me a
chance. Not with my platoon, I don't.

Not with me going out
of town for four days.

I ain't giving you complete
charge of them guys

and letting you make
a shambles out of it.

But I can handle it, believe me.

Here, take a look at my record.

I've been working hard, Sarge,

and I'm sure I can do it.

Yeah... Yeah, well...

this don't look
bad on paper, but...

What's the maximum rate of fire

for the 81-millimeter mortar?

30 rounds a minute for the first
minute... 18 rounds thereafter.

What are administrative orders?

Those orders used to
announce the supply, evacuation

and other administrative
details for a military operation.

Uh-huh. In squad tactics...

what's the consolidation phase?

The consolidation
phase is the third phase

of offensive combat,
and covers the period

from the end of the attack phase
to the moment of commencing

some further action
to exploit success.

What's the weight of a
fully loaded automatic pistol?

2.76 pounds.

Wrong, Slater. It's
2.78 pounds, 2.78.

I'm sorry, Sarge,
but I'm sure it's 2.76.

Well, I say you're wrong.

And that just goes to
prove something, Slater.

Contradicting your sergeant

is not one of the outstanding
traits for a Marine corporal.

And cockiness ain't one either,

and stubbornness
certainly ain't one.

Well, I'm sorry, Sarge.

Well, Ill just prove it to you.

Where's my book?

Here we are. Let's see...

Automatic pistol...
automatic pistol...


"The weight of a fully
loaded automatic pistol is..."

Well, you just took a course.

Besides, handling a bunch
of men is entirely different.

Look, Sarge, this is
my first assignment.

And if I'm going to make
the Marines my career,

and you turn me down
cold, it'll kill it for me.

Well, I...

Look, headquarters never would
have given me the assignment

if they didn't think
I could handle it,

and I'm sure I can do it.

But of course, it's
up to you, Sarge.

You're the one that's going
to have to make the decision.

All right, I'll give it a try.

But I'm leaving you with
one final word, Slater...

When I get back, there's
going to be an inspection.

And there better not be
any changes in this platoon.

Everything better be
perfect, absolutely perfect,

or that stripe of yours is
going to be gone with the wind.

Got ya, Sarge.

I'll see you in a
couple of days,

and have a good trip...

and don't worry about a thing.

You got nothing to
worry about, believe me.

Anybody home?

Hey, Duke! Duke! Duke!

Hi, men.


Hey, fellas, it's Duke!

Hey, what's this
here on your arm?

Another stripe... Corporal!

That's right, fellas, it's
Corporal Slater now.


That's great!

What are you doing
here? Are you just visiting?

No, I've been transferred here.


As a matter of fact,

I'm now the corporal
of this platoon.

I'm your replacement, gentlemen.

What a relief! Relief?

Yeah, Sergeant
Carter kind of scared us.

He told us his replacement

was going to be
very, very strict.

Everything by the book.

And it turns out to be you.

Yeah, our old buddy,
Duke. How about that?

Well, now wait a minute, fellas,

don't forget, I am
a corporal now

and I am in charge of this
platoon for the next four days.

Oh, yeah. Sure.

I mean, there won't
be any letting down.

Everything's got to go right.

Okay, just as long
as that's understood.

Yeah. Sure. Sure, don't worry.

I mean, really.


Well, the old barracks
looks just the same.

Just like I left it.

A little dusty.

We're going to have to
take care of that, right?

While you're at it, it
might not be a bad idea

to catch those windows.

Duke, I can't tell you

how wonderful it
is to have you back.

And as a corporal, too.

I think this is one of the
happiest days of my life.

Thanks, Gomer.

Hey, Duke, do you still
do them imitations? Huh?

You know, them imitations
of Hollywood stars like that.

You was always wonderful at it.

Do one for us.
No, I don't think...

Really, just do one
little-bitty one for us.

Well, okay, just one
for old time's sake.

Who do you want?
Who do you want?

Hey, do Clark Gable.

All right, Clark Gable.

Scarlett, you've never loved me.

You've always
loved Ashley Wilkes.

I thought there was a chance
for us when Bonnie Blue was alive.

Well, it's too late
now, Scarlett.

I'm going back to Charleston.

Good-bye, Scarlett.

Doggone, how you do that.

Hey, Duke, do my favorite
one... Jimmy Cagney.

Jimmy Cagney... Mmm... mmm...

For it was Mary,
Mary, sweet, mmm...

as any name, mmm...
could be, mmm.

Doggone, Duke.

Hey, Duke,

Can you still do
Sergeant Carter?

Oh, no.

Come on.

No, fellas, that's
not such a good idea.

I mean, after all,
he is our sergeant,

and I wouldn't want
to make fun of him.


Well, you never was
making fun of him.

You was just imitating
the way he talks.

And besides, imitation is
the sincerest form of flattery.

Well, all right, just this
once for old time's sake.

But this is the last time.
Don't ask me to do it again.

All right, you lamebrains,
you nitwits, you knuckleheads,

you hear this and
you hear it good!

I want you out of those sacks
and outside on the double!

Move it! Move it! Move it!

I can't hear you!

Hey, you know something, fellas,

these next four days
are gonna be great!

Come on, you guys.

Out in the road here.

Quiet, Freeman. Quiet, Pyle.

Step out. Let's go, you guys.

This is the way you men
muster out in the morning?

Straighten up that line.
This is a military formation.

You can do better than that.

What's so funny, Pyle?

I didn't say anything funny.

Straighten up and look alive.

All right, now hear
this and hear it good.

I'm your platoon commander.

And when I give you an
order, I want it carried out, now.

And when you fall
out in the morning,

I want that formation
on the double.

I want you to move it.

Pyle, what are you smiling at?

Duke, you sound just
like Sergeant Carter.

He's right. You do, Duke.

All right.

All right, hold it.

Maybe you guys
think I'm kidding.

Well, I'm not, and
I'll prove it to you.

All right, let's flatten
out for some push-ups.

About 5,000 to start.

Platoon... prone
position... move!

Well, come on, let's move it!

Hit the deck! I
gave you an order!

Move it! Platoon,
prone position, move it!

Everything all right, Corporal?

Ten-hut. Morning, sir.

Yes, sir, everything is fine.

It's just we're a little slow
getting at those push-ups.


You men heard your corporal.

He wants you to hit
the deck, so hit the deck!


Wouldn't be a bad idea to
add a few for sluggishness.

Don't worry, sir, I've
got them doing 5,000.

5,000? Yes, sir.

Uh, maybe you ought to
spread them out over a few days.

Yes, sir.

Carry on, Corporal.
Thank you, sir.

All right, commence push-ups.

Count off... one... ALL: One...

I can't hear you!

Two... ALL: two...

Louder. Three...
three... four... four...

Louder. Five...

You wanted to see me, Duke?

I mean, Corporal.

Oh, yeah, Gome,
come on in. Come on in.

Here, sit down.

Thank you.

Um, Gome, the reason
I sent for you, is...

well, you're an
old buddy, right?

I sure am.

Well, the point is, this is
my first chance at leadership

and I really want
to do a good job.

Of course.

And I figure you
can help me, Gome.

Me? Yeah.

How can I help you?

Well... now don't
get me wrong...

I'm not asking you to...

you know, squeal
on the other guys,

but... well, how do
they feel about me?

Huh? What are they saying?

I know it's only been one day,

but what's their
impression of me, Gome?

Well... I don't think it's right

for me to tell you what
the fellas say in private.

Oh, come on, Gome,
you can level with me.

I can take
constructive criticism.

It's not going to
hurt my feelings.


Please, Gome, it's
very important to me.

It is? Well, sure.

Look, it's not just losing
this stripe I'm worried about.

It's the whole platoon.

I want them to look good.

And if Sergeant
Carter comes back

and doesn't find things
just like he left them,

why it'll look bad for me and
it will look bad for the platoon.

I sure wouldn't want that
to happen to the platoon,

and you know I wouldn't
want you to lose your stripe.

Well, then help me, Gomer.

I just want to know if I'm
getting through to the guys.

Just give me an idea of
how they feel about me.

Well... all right, if...

you're really sure it'll help.

Let's see.

Freeman says there's
worse corporals,

but he don't know where.

And Dumbrowski
says you're a rat,

and Ellis says you're chicken,

and Joey'd like to catch
you without your uniform on,

and Smitty says you stink.

Why, those jerks!

Those ungrateful jerks!

A little discipline
and they turn on you.

Okay, I'll show 'em.

Thanks a lot, Gomer.
I know what to do.

Wait a minute,
Duke, I thought...

Well, you said your feelings
wasn't gonna get hurt.

That's right, my
feelings ain't hurt.

Do I look like my
feelings are hurt?

Well, my feelings ain't hurt.

What makes you think
my feelings are hurt?

You said you
could take criticism.

I took it. Didn't I take it?

I can take criticism.

Thanks a lot, Gomer. Good night.

All right, listen up, you guys,
I got something to tell you.

I got a job to do here.

I'm replacing your
sergeant, and it is my duty

to keep this platoon
in gung ho condition

until he gets back,
and I mean to do that

whether you guys like it or not.

Now, I'm changing the
schedule a little for today.

Here's what I want you to do.

I want you all back outside
in five minutes with full packs.

We're going on a
little 20-mile hike,

and when we get back,
we're gonna have an hour or so

of calisthenics, and the
rest of the day on detail.

No breaks, no nothing.

Boy, am I pooped.

Better not be.

Calisthenics next,
and then detail.

It's funny how they
all started as corporals:

Napoleon, Hitler, now Slater.

All right, platoon, fall out!

Fall out in a row!
Let's go, on the double!

Move it, move it, move
it! Let's go! Fall out!

Pyle, where's the rest?

Well, there ain't nobody else.

I'm the only one here.

Where are they? Where'd they go?

They all go AWOL?

No, they all reported
over to sick bay.

Sick bay? What for?

What's the matter with 'em?

I don't know, but they said
they couldn't wait for sick call,

so they got up and left
about a half hour ago.

Oh, they did, did they?

Huh, we'll see about that.

Corporal. Ten-hut!

Morning, sir.

Corporal, could I speak
to you for a moment?

Yes, sir.

I just came from sick bay.

Captain Johnson has your
whole platoon over there.

Yes, sir, I know.

And I can't understand it.

They were in perfect
health last night.

I'm really mystified, sir.


Corporal, how long
have you been a corporal?

Tomorrow will be one week, sir.

I see.

At ease, Corporal.

This is your first assignment?

I mean in taking over a
platoon, right? Yes, sir.

I remember a couple of years ago

when I took over
my first platoon.

I was determined to make
it the best outfit in the corps.

That's the way
I feel, sir. Yeah.

Yeah, I was pretty rough on 'em.

As a matter of fact, too rough.

I was just a little too anxious.

Anxious, sir? That's right.

Now, don't get me wrong, I
think discipline is important,

but there's a fine line
that you can't step over

without affecting morale.

Yes, sir. I found the best
way to keep the platoon

looking sharp and
the morale high was

to change my attitude a little.

I stayed on 'em,
mind you, but...

I didn't grind 'em down.

You see what I mean?

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Carry on, Corporal.

Fall out.




What's the matter, Duke?

I don't know.

You saw me talking
to the lieutenant.


Well, he's right.

You know what
he says I got here?

No, what? Low morale.

Three days on the job,
and I got low morale.

I guess I've just
been kidding myself.

I can't handle a platoon;
I'm not the leader type.

Why, that's not true,
Duke... You are a leader.

Well, you're a
natural born leader.

Even when you was a
private, you was a leader.

Why, the fellers used
to follow you everywhere.

You used to say, "Let's
go down and get a pizza,"

even though everybody
else wanted Chinese,

but we all followed
you to the pizza.

Oh, you're a leader, all right.

Yeah, but that was different...
Now I got rank on them.

That makes it a
whole different story.

Well, no, it don't.

It's no different at all.

No? Then where did I go wrong?

Tell me that...
Where did I go wrong?

Well... if you don't
mind my saying so,

I think you made
your big mistake,

well, by not being yourself.

I mean, you ain't
Sergeant Carter.

He can yell and holler,
and nobody seems to mind.

Because that's the way
he is; it's natural for him.

But it ain't natural for you.

Well... it's too
late now... I blew it.

Barracks are in a mess,

Sergeant Carter'll
be back tomorrow,

and half the outfit can't wait
to catch me out of uniform.

Well, boys, Carter
comes back tomorrow.

I never thought I'd be happy

to see the old sarge
again, but I will be.

Hey, you think he'll ask us
how his replacement was?

I hope he asks me, 'cause I'll tell him
Slater'd be great with the Boy Scouts.

Yeah, or Girl Scouts.

Hey, what's that?

Huh? What?

There's somebody at the window.


It's Duke... He's
washing windows.

What's he doing that for?

To save his stripe... he
couldn't get us to do it, so he's got

to do it alone. That's
not true, fellers.

Oh, no? No. He don't
have to do it alone...

He could've got us to do it.

All he had to do
was order us to.

Yeah? Well, why
didn't he, then, huh?

Well, I think now he
realizes he was wrong.

Aw, come on! Oh!

Well, it's the truth.

And I'll tell you
something else,

it's all partly our fault.

What do you mean our fault?

Well, maybe Duke didn't
go about it in the right way,

but... we never gave
him a chance, neither.

We laughed and joked

and never gave him
the respect he deserved.

After all, he is a corporal.

And just because
we knew him before

don't mean that we
shouldn't respect his stripe.

If any of us had made
corporal, we'd expect a break,

even from our friends.

And I'll tell you
something else.

I'm gonna go out
there and help him.


Uh, I mean, Corporal?

Gome, what do you want?

Well, I thought I
might help you.

No, thanks.

You better get
back to your bunk.

Well, I don't want to disobey
orders or anything, but...

I really would like to help you.

Forget it... I got
myself into this,

I can get myself out.

Uh, uh, Corporal?

Dumbrowski, what
are you doing out here?

Well, I-I couldn't
sleep... I thought maybe

if I did a little work,
it might tire me out.

What?! JOEY: Listen, Corporal,

I-I got a bucket and rag...

Want me to start the windows
over here or on the other side?

What is this? Okay,
you guys get the inside,

we'll start cleaning
up out here.

Hey, w-wait a minute,
what's going on here?

Well, don't worry
about it, Duke.

The fellers in the platoon
just want to help you out's all.

I'll do the windows in front.


Oh. Good evening, Lieutenant.

What's going on here?
Why are the lights on?

What are all the
men doing out here?

Oh, well, we was just
policing up the area, sir.

You being punished?
Oh, no, sir... we're doing it

'cause we want to.

See, our sergeant's
coming back tomorrow,

and we wanted everything
to look right for the inspection.

And where's the corporal
in charge of this detail?

Corporal Slater? Well,
he's right around here, sir.


Evening, sir.

At ease.

This is a little irregular,

isn't it, Corporal?

Working after hours like this?

Well, yes, sir, but you see,

we got a little behind
in our work, and we...

well, that is, the men and
I, we decided to catch up.

I see.

Very well, Corporal, carry on.

Thank you, sir.

Um, Corporal?

Yes, sir?

That's a good group
of men you've got there.

Very good.

Thank you, sir.

What's the matter, Duke?

Nothing, Gomer, nothing at all.

Are you crying?

No, I'm not crying.

What are you, crazy?

Duke, I don't know
whether you ought

to be a corporal or not.

You're so... emotional.



Not bad.



There's a smudge on
that button, Dumbrowski.

Write that down.



All right, Corporal, you
can dismiss the platoon.

Right, Sergeant.

Platoon dismissed.

You did a good job, Slater.

The men look sharp.

The barracks ain't bad, either.

Thanks, Sarge.

Yeah, I'll level with you.

I never expected it.

I thought when I got back here,

I'd see a shambles.

I really never figured
you could handle it.

Well, I'm happy to hear
you say that, Sergeant.

Well, you did.

And I'll say something else.

You stay on the ball like this,

and we might hit
it off okay, okay?


Sergeant Carter?

Yeah, Pyle, what is it?

Well, I'd like to
make a statement

on behalf of all the men.

They didn't really ask me to,

but, well, I know how they feel.

Yeah, what is it?

Well, I'd like to say

what an outstanding
job Corporal Slater done

with the platoon
while you was gone.

I know, I held the inspection.

But you don't know
the full story, Sergeant.

Corporal Slater was up
early, and he worked late.

I don't even think
he went off the base.

He devoted his full attention

to the platoon every second.

He done such a fine job,
you wasn't even missed.


Well, you was missed,
but everything run

just as smooth
as if you was here,

so if you're thinking of
taking any other trips,

I'm sure Corporal Slater...

What is this, a testimonial?

Did you put him
up to this, Slater?

No, Sarge, honest.

And furthermore, I'd like to say

that I'd follow Corporal
Slater anywhere.

He's a natural
born leader of men.

Well, if you didn't put
him up to it, who did?

Gomer, will you get out of here?

Yes, sir, Corporal, right away.

See how I follow
his orders, Sergeant?

Pyle... Slater, you've got a
lot of nerve, you know that?

He does have a lot of nerve.

He is a brave man, Sergeant.

Out! Out!

Both of you, get out of here!

Get out!