Gomer Pyle: USMC (1964–1969): Season 2, Episode 28 - Gomer and the Father Figure - full transcript

Starring... as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring... as
Sergeant Carter.

♪ ♪

(foghorn blaring in distance)

Keep away from me!
Keep away from me!

Don't come near me!

I'm going to jump!
I'm going to jump!

Oh, my goodness.

I'm jumping!

Keep away! Keep away!

Stop it! Stop it!
You can't do that.

Let go of me! Let go of me!

Can't a man die in peace?

Why did you do that for?

Why didn't you leave me alone?

Well, what was you trying to do?

You could kill yourself.

What do you think
I'm trying to do, boy?

Let me go.

No, stop that. Stop that.

I don't know why
you feel like you do,

but things can't be that bad.

Nothing can be that bad.


Please, mister, don't do that.

Try to cheer up.

Cheer up?

Oh, son, son, mine
is not a happy story.

(weeping): Not a
happy story at all.

Would you like some
dessert now, Mr. Sinclair?

Oh, no, no.

I couldn't do that, boy.

They got some real
fine apple pie here.

No, no.

I can't take advantage of
your generosity anymore.

No, no.

It's real good.

No, no, thank you, thank you!

Well, if you'd rather not...

You say it's real good?

Why, it's... I'll take it.


Would you mind
bringing us a piece

of that nice, hot apple pie?

Sure, Gomer.

If it wouldn't be
too much trouble,

would you put a nice scoop
of ice cream on top of it?

You know, Gomer,
a good meal helps,

but the main thing is in finding

a warm, sympathetic
human being like yourself.

It certainly has made life
seem worth living again.

Golly, you don't know
how happy it makes me

to hear you say that.

But if I'm not
being too personal,

what ever possessed you

to think of doing a thing
like you was going to do?

Well, let me tell you the truth.

Just a few short months ago,

I was one of the most
respected men in Gary, Indiana.

You don't say?

That's the truth, son.

I had everything;

a big home, two
cars a lovely family,

my poodle dog.

Now look at me.

Well, what ever happened?

It was the sharpies.

The big city sharpies.

The trouble with me
is I was too honest.

I believed them.

I came here to close a big deal,

and they wiped me out.

For heaven's sakes.

Now I got nothing.

I can't go back.

I can't go home.

But you got to go back.

Your family and everything.

No, it'd be too hard.

Besides, I got no money.

Where would I get
the money to go back?

Well, I don't get
paid till Friday,

but once I get my pay,

I could lend you
enough for a bus ticket.

Oh, no, no, I couldn't do that.

Please, Mr. Sinclair,

nothing would give
me greater pleasure.

No, no!

Well, if you'd rather not...

You say you get paid Friday?

That's right. I'll take it.

But it's only a loan.

I'll send you the money
when I get settled.

Well, don't you
worry about that.

Now, you probably gonna need

a couple dollars
to hold you over.

Yes, they won't let
me into my room.

That's one of the reasons I
was out there on that bridge.

Well, shame on them.

Now, here, you take this.

Thanks, Gomer.

Gomer, there's just
one thing that I wish.

What's that?

I wish I really
had a son like you.


Would you do me a favor, son?

Well, sure. What is it?

Would you call me "Dad"?

Well, all right.


(sobbing): Dad.

Please, Mr. Sinclair,

the waitress brought your pie.

Now eat it.

Pie? Pie?


All right, bend them knees!

Bend them knees!

Come on! I want to
see some elbow grease!

Pyle, move, move,
move, move, move!

Bend them knees over there!
Elbow grease, elbow grease!


Yeah, mister?

Can I help you?

Yes, Sergeant, I'd like to talk

to that young man over there.

Oh, yeah?

Which one?

The tall skinny one
picking up the weeds.

That's him. That's my boy.

Who? Pyle?

Pyle is your boy?

Well, not really, Sergeant.

I just call him that.

Anyway, can I talk to him?

Well, yeah, I guess so.

I'll go get him.

Pyle... there's an old bum
over there by the fence

that wants to talk to you.

For gosh sakes,
it's Mr. Sinclair.

♪ ♪

Pyle, what was that all about?

Who is he?

He's just a poor old
feller I met last night.

What a sad story.

I'm helping him out.


Uh-huh, poor, poor feller.

Bless his heart.

Well, son, that was
an awful good meal.

Not quite as good
as last night's,

but awful, awful good.

You don't know how glad it
makes me to hear you say that.

Hey, Boyle. What's
the matter, Sarge?

That's Pyle over there
with that old geezer again.

Huh? Oh, yeah.

Who is he?

I don't know.

Pyle says he's some poor old guy

with a sad story,
but I don't know.

I think there's
something phony about it.

Hey, Sergeant
Carter, Corporal Boyle.

Hi. Hi, Pyle.

You remember Mr. Sinclair.

You met him out
by the fence today.

Oh, yeah, I remember him.

And this is Corporal
Boyle, Mr. Sinclair.

Any friend of Gomer's...

Look, Pyle, can I talk to
you alone for a minute?

Excuse us, will you?

Oh, certainly. I'll wait
outside for you, Gomer.

Pyle, who is this guy?

What do you know about him?

Mr. Sinclair?

Oh, I know a lot about him.

For one thing, he's
from Gary, Indiana,

and he used to be
very, very wealthy.


Would you believe it, Sergeant,
he used to have two cars,

a lovely family
and a poodle dog.

Now he's got nothing.

Them sharpies cleaned him out.

Ain't that sad?

I'm practically in tears.

Don't you believe him?

Oh, I do, I do.

Look, Pyle, I may want
to talk to him myself.

Do you know where he lives?

Yeah, he stays right
up the street here

at the Gym Hotel, Room 203.

Oh, well, Boyle and I are
just going to have a beer here.

Maybe later I'll drop up.

I mean, if the poor
old guy is really bad off,

well, maybe I can contribute.

You know, help out.

Bless you, Sergeant.

You're a wonderful person.

Yeah. Well, run along, Pyle.

I'll see you later.

Well, bye, Sergeant.


Just as I thought,
strictly a con.

Let's have our beer,
and then I'm going over

and get that old
guy off Pyle's back.

What'd your sergeant want, son?

Oh, he was just
asking about you.

Oh, what'd you tell him?

Oh, I just told him some
of the things you told me,

and he seemed real touched.

Well, he looks like a
real warm-hearted person.

Oh, he is, and
understanding, too.

As a matter of fact, he
said he might stop by

and see you a little later on.

Oh, you told him
where I live, huh?

Yeah, if he does stop by,

you'll really enjoy
talking to him.


What's the matter, Mr. Sinclair?

There goes that cough again.

I ran out of my cough syrup,

and I don't have enough money

to get the prescription filled.

Well, how much is it?

Five dollars.

Well, I only got three.

Well, then I'll
just get a half pint.

I mean, the junior size.

Bye, son.

Bye, Mr. Sinclair.

Please, call me "Dad."


That's more like it.

See you, son.

(coughs lightly)

Go away! Go away!

Don't come in here!

Go away!

Can't a man die in peace?!

Leave me alone!

Get out of here!
What are you doing?

Don't do that!

Why you want to do
a thing like that for?!

Let me go! Leave me alone!

Can't a man die in peace?!

Why you want to do a
thing like that for, huh?

What's the matter with you?

Son, son, why
didn't you let me go?

It would have been
better for all concerned.

Aw, come on, now.

Things can't be
as bad as all that.

You don't have to go that far.

No? You don't know, son.

Mine is not a happy story.

What happened, Vince?

You talk to the old man?

Sarge? Huh?

You know what?

He wanted me to call him "Dad."

Got the morning report, Sarge.

That field problem is
scheduled for 1900 tonight.

Hear what I said, Sarge?

I was just thinking.

What about?

I was thinking...
Where are they now?


The heroes of yesterday.

Where are they now?

I don't know.

Where are they supposed to be?


Did you ever hear
of Sinclair's Raiders?

I don't think so.

You know that old guy with Pyle

that I went over
to see last night?

He was the head
of Sinclair's Raiders.

What was it?

(chuckles) A gang that
knocked over filling stations?

No, what's the matter with you?

World War II.

It was a marine detachment
in the South Pacific.

They operated behind the lines.

He told me the whole story.



You know...

I was ready to write
him off as a bum.

Then I got to talking to him.

It's funny how the
old wheel turns.

Yesterday, a hero, and today,

because you caught a bad break

and started running
with sharpies...

people think you're just a bum.

That's kismet.

What's that?

Kismet? Fate.


So you do what you
can for a guy like that.

I suppose.

On top of everything else,

he's got this rotten cough.

So I slipped him
a couple of bucks

to buy some cough syrup.

That's nice of you, Vince.

Well, what are you going to do?

That's kismet for you.

Hello, Gomer.

Hey, Mr. Sinclair.

How are you?

Fine, just fine, son.

Is your cough better?
Oh, much better.

(coughs) Got a little headache,
but that shouldn't concern you.

Say, I saw your
sergeant last night.

Oh, you did? Oh,
he's a fine boy.

A real fine boy.

Sergeant Carter is a warm,
wonderful human being.

Hey, Sergeant, look who's here.

Oh! Hi, how are you?

Good. I just stopped
by to see you, is all.

Well, uh... will you
boys be in town tonight?


No, we won't be
able to make it tonight.

We're going on an
overnight field problem.

Oh, well, then, it's good
that I dropped by now.

At least it gets me a chance
to spend a few minutes

with my boys anyway.


You sure now you're not
coming into town tonight, huh?

Oh, we can't.

No, well, uh, we better
get back to work now.

Maybe we'll see you
some other time, huh?

Come on, Pyle.
Bye, Mr. Sinclair.

"Dad." Please call me "Dad".

Both of you.



He called me "Dad."

Poor old feller.

Don't he break your heart?

Don't he just break your heart?

Yeah. He's a pretty
sad case, all right.

And he wants us
both to call him "Dad."

Hey, that almost makes
us kind of like brothers.

Pyle! Get back to work!

All right, fall in!
Come on, let's go.

Move, move, move,
move, move! Move it!

Hey, Vince. Hold everything.

What's the matter? Well,
the exercise is cancelled.

Headquarters just called.

Colonel Nelson's plane was
grounded outside of Seattle.

He won't be able
to make it tonight.

So what did they say?
They said forget it for tonight.

Okay, we'll forget it.

(both laughing)

All right. The exercise
for tonight is called off.

Ten-hut! Dismissed!

Hey, Sergeant?

Wouldn't this be
a good opportunity

to drop in on Mr. Sinclair? Huh?

Now that we're not
going to be busy tonight,

wouldn't it be nice if we
went in and surprised him?

Well, I was thinking

of going in and
seeing Bunny tonight.

Well, gee, couldn't
you do that afterwards?

I mean, we'd just call
on him for a few minutes,

and I know he'd
appreciate it so much.

Look, Pyle, you want
to see him, go see him.

I'm gonna phone Bunny.

I bet we're the
only friends he's got

in the whole world right now.

Won't you come
for just a minute?

Look, I'll tell
you what I'll do.

I'll go in with you,
but I'm only gonna see

the old guy for a few minutes.

Then I'm gonna call Bunny.

I'll bet he'll be so
happy, he'll cry.

Oh, I hope not.

I haven't seen him, Gomer.

Well, gee, I wonder
where he could be?

We've looked in his
room and he's not here

in the restaurant.

Where else could he be?

Yeah, well, if you
see him, Pyle...

No, wait, Sergeant.

I'm just trying to think
where else he could be.

Pyle! A poor,
old fellow like that

ain't got too many
places to go to.

I mean, he lives way
back in Gary, Indiana.

Yeah, look... Now, take the
place where I met him that night.

Do you know what he was going
to do the night that I met him?

Oh, my gosh!

What? I just happened to
think of something terrible.

If I'm right, there's
no time to lose.

Please, Sergeant, you've
got to come with me.

What are you talking
about? You've just got to.

Please, Sergeant, it's a
matter of life and death.


I was right!

There he is! I'm
jumping. I'm jumping!

Let go of me! Let go
of me! Can't a man

die in peace?! Hey,
come on, mister.

You can't do that.
Now, get off there!

Why didn't you leave me alone?

What did you do that for?

Can't a man die in peace?

That's what I was
afraid of, sergeant.

He was trying to
do the same thing

the night that I met him.

What? That's right.

Wait a minute.

Come here, Pyle.

What's the matter? Shh!

SINCLAIR: stopped me;
you should've let me go.

It would have been
better for all concerned.

Oh, come on, mister.

Things can't be that bad.

Hmm. That's what you think.

You just don't know.

Mine is not a happy story.

SAILOR: Okay. But come on,
mister, you don't want to die.

Do you? Why?

I ain't afraid to die; I
was in World War II.

In the Navy, just like you, boy.

No kidding. Well, sure.

Have you ever heard
of Sinclair Sharks?

SAILOR: No. Well,
that was me, son.

So you see, I
ain't afraid to die.

Well, listen, mister,
maybe if you get

something to eat,
you'd feel better.

Oh, bless you.
Bless you, my boy.

I wonder if I could ask
one little favor of you.

Why sure, what?

Would you call me "Dad"?

All right, Pyle.

The other night, you save
that poor, old guy's life.

Last night, I saved
that poor, old guy's life.

Tonight, that sailor saved
that poor, old guy's life.

You know what I think, Pyle?

What? I think that
poor, old guy is a crook!

You say he calls
himself Sinclair, huh?

from Gary, Indiana.

He was one of the most
respected men there.

Pyle... That's what
he said, sergeant.

Don't you think it's
just possible that

he gets so depressed sometimes

he thinks of doing
away with hisself?

Sure, it's possible.

Anything is possible.

Like, for example,
that he was in both

the Marines and the
Navy during World War II.


Take a look at that.

Could that be the fella?

Yeah. Yeah, that's him.

He's got a better looking
suit on, but that's him.

Look at that, Pyle, huh?

Who's that? Huh, huh?

Oh, my goodness.

Jim the Nip, huh?

That's the guy that took you.

Jim the Nip?

Alias: George the Ginch,

Cal the Creep and
Schyler Townhouse.

Schyler Townhouse?

That's when he was trying
to unload some phony stock.

I can't believe it. I
just can't believe it.

Well, I can.

I knew the minute I saw
him, this guy was a phony.

But, Sergeant, you
gave him money, too.

Is that right, Sergeant?

You gave him some money, too?

Well, uh... it was
just a few bucks.

But I was testing him.

It was a test.

PYLE: But, Officer, if you
could have just seen him.

There he was out
on that bridge...

And he was on that
bridge again tonight, too.

But he never seems
to drop, does he, Pyle?

Well, I don't know.

What if he really was
gonna jump all them times?

What if some night he's
out there on that bridge

and there's nobody
there to stop him?

Then you know what, Pyle?

What? Geronimo!

Cold, cold, cold!

Now, this guy is
a two-time loser.

If he sees a bunch
of uniforms coming up,

he might do something desperate.

Now, he trusts you.

You boys go up, be
very friendly to him.

Try to get him to come out.

Then you'll nab him? Right.

Terrible, terrible.

Come on, Pyle.

Golly, I just don't
think I can face him.

Pyle... The man is
an out-and-out crook.

I told you that, the
police told you that.

When are you gonna believe it?

Well, maybe so, but a fella

who does the things that he does

is a troubled fella,
and he needs help.

And he's going to get help...

from the psychiatrist
at the state prison.

You see, his trouble

is he's got too much
time on his hands.

And they're gonna
take care of that.

They're gonna put him in
leather-craft and give him

lots of things to do and
pretty soon he won't be

sitting around thinking about
killing himself all the time.

Now, come on.

Mr. Sinclair?

Dad? Dad, it's your boys.

Deceitful, deceitful.

He's here.

Look, Sergeant, look.

I think he really
did it this time!

Oh, my goodness... is
there anything we can do?

Pyle, go get the police.

I'll phone for an ambulance!

A phone! A phone!

There's no phone in this place!

Don't come near me.

Don't come near me or I'll jump.


Yeah? Yeah?

No fooling?

I'm serious. I mean it.

Any closer and I'll jump.


Praise be! You're alive!

You're alive. Praise be!

Oh, shut up.


Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Sad, sad, sad. There he goes.

Well, Pyle, I hope you
learned your lesson.

I mean, the world is
full of guys like that.

You've got to be on your
guard against them every minute.

Learn to keep your distance.

Once you let them
get too close to you,

you're really in trouble.

You see, he had you fooled.

He didn't really have me fooled,

or I wouldn't have been
able to nail him like I did.

But that's because I've had

more experience with
guys like that than you.

I suppose so.

But it's still a sad, sad thing.

Yeah. Well, let's go
have a cup of coffee.

Well, I don't think I can.

I don't have any money on me.

I gave it all to Mr. Sinclair.

Had to give it all to him, huh?


Oh, well, that's okay.

I still got a few
bucks; I'll buy.

What's the matter, Sergeant?

Why, that miserable old...

Hey! Hey!

Hold it! Hey!