Gomer Pyle: USMC (1964–1969): Season 2, Episode 19 - Arrivederci, Gomer - full transcript

Starring... as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring... as
Sergeant Carter.

♪ ♪

Golly, Frankie, it
really is nice of you

to invite me home with you.

I'm really looking
forward to it.

Aw, you'll love it, Gomer.

You like Italian cooking?

Well, just wait till you taste
my mama's Italian cooking.



Tonight... tonight we'll
probably have some

of her chicken cacciatore.

Chicken what?


Go, go ahead, you can say it.

Oh, I couldn't ever.

Oh, come on, come on, try.

Chicken... How's that so far?

Now, ca-cha-tor-ay.

Chicken cat-she-dori.

How about that?

Well, uh, you're learning.


Hey, Frankie, how
long will it take us

to get to your house?

Well, it's about a
three-hour ride on the bus,

but it's worth it.


Hey, we might even have some
veal parmigiana with cannelloni.

Or maybe fettuccine,
or maybe even lasagna.

Golly, I hope them
things are easier to eat

than they are to say.

Gomer, you'll meet
the whole family.

Everybody'll be there.

Mama, Papa, my sister
Rosa, and her boyfriend Leo.

And maybe even Uncle Julio.

They always get
together on the weekend.

Sure sounds nice.

Yeah, it is.

You know, Gomer,
I don't want this

to sound like I'm bragging,

but I got the happiest
family in the world.

Oh, that's nice.

That's the most important thing

and you should brag on it.


Gee, they're great.

(all yelling)

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

One person talk at a time, eh!

I talk first. Now...

Papa, I don't want to
talk about it anymore.

And let's not embarrass Leo
when he comes here tonight.

Tonight, tonight,

but he's always
here every night.

And when is he
going to ask you to...

Please, Mama, let's not bring
up the marriage thing again.

But Rosa, how long, huh?

How long?

You're not getting any younger.

In another year or two,
you're going to be, uh...

(speaking Italian)

Over the hill.

Yeah, over the hill.

Mama, it's my life
and I'm not worried.

You don't have to worry.

I'm a-worried enough
for the two of us.

She don't worry. Look.

Frankie's coming
home for the weekend.

Why upset him?

Let's not drag him into this.

Because he's your brother.

Why shouldn't he
know how long your Leo

is taking to... Mama!

She's right, Mama.

Basta! Knock off.

All right.

I won't say another word.

All right, no more
about you and Leo.

When Frankie come,
everybody happy, okay, huh?

Good. That's good.

Straighten up in here.

I go look in the stove.

(doorbell buzzes)

Hey. Ah!

He's here.

Ha, ha!

Hey! Frankie!

Papa! (laughing): Hey!

Hiya, Papa, how are you?

Oh, Mama!

ROSA: Frank!

(all clamoring)

Oh, Rosa!

How are you?

Aw, that's sweet, Frankie.

How long since you been home?

I was home last weekend.

(laughing): That's right.

Oh, now, wait, wait, wait.

I brought a friend
home for the weekend.

This is Gomer Pyle.


this is my mother, my
sister Rosa, and my father.

Hey, everybody.

Ah, Mr. Gomopile.

Benvenuto. Welcome, eh?

What's your first
name, Mr. Gomopile?

Half of that is my first name.

Gomer. Como?

Hey, you a relation
to Perry Como?

He's a paesano.

No, no, it's Gomer, Gomer Pyle.

(speaking Italian)

Any friend of Frankie's.

Glad you could come, Gomer.

Go on, Gomer, say it.

Listen to this, Papa. Aw...

No, no, go on, go on.


Buon giórno,
everybody, and ciao.

(all laughing)

Hey, that's good Italiano, huh?

I taught him on the way up.

Come on, let's go in.

Come on.

(all talking)

Buon giórno and ciao.


What'd I tell you, Gomer?

Happiest family
in the world, huh?

What's new, Mama?

What's new? You want
to know what's new?

I'm gonna tell you what's...
No, you tell him what's new.

You know better than
anybody what's new.

Mama, please, you
promised you weren't...

He's my son.

We gonna start that again, huh?!


(family yelling)

Ho-Hold it, hold it.

Remember, Mama,
he's here to enjoy.

Mama, what's going on?

Nothing, nothing.

I promised to say nothing to
make you upset this weekend.

We're gonna laugh and
enjoy and have a good time

even though my
heart is a-breaking.

Mama, please, Frankie is...

I'm not talking to Frankie.

I'm talking to Mr. Gomopile.

You're not involved.

You're outsider.

Mr. Gomopile, look at Rosa.

What's wrong with her? Wrong?

Has she been feeling sick?

ROSA: Mama.

She's feeling fine.

Me, I'm the one that's sick.

Mama, please.

Pop, look, why don't you
take Gomer up to his room.

Go ahead, Gomer. Pop will
show you where your room is.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Go ahead, Pop. Thank you.

I'm glad to have met all of you,

and I hope you're
feeling better, ma'am.

Right this way.

All right, Mama,
now, what's going on?

Look at the ring
on Rosa's finger.

There isn't any.

Ah! And just because of
that dumb fella she goes with.

He is not.

Frankie, you know, Leo.

Not like I do.

Every night for two years, he
comes here for a free supper.

You make it sound like you don't

even know why he comes here.

Why he comes here is to feed

his fat face with
lasagna and go home.

That's why he comes here.

Mama, he loves me.

He told me.

When was his mouth

empty long enough to tell you?

Leo will marry me
when he's ready.

When he's ready for marriage,

you'll be ready for Medicare.

Oh, Rosa, cara,

I want to see you
happy and married,

and I want to
have grandchildren.

Mama. All right!

You want to waste
your time with Leo?

Va bene. But if one day

I kill myself, you'll know why.

Oh, Mama, you just... (groans)

Mama, please!
What are you doing?

(speaking Italian)

Mama. Oh, Frankie,
what are we gonna do?

Come on, sit down.
I've got to talk to you.

That Leo is just

breaking your sister's heart.

All of that waiting.

Well, Mama, what can I do?

Maybe you could
give him a little hint

or something.

Well, is he coming
to supper tonight?

Like every night.

Please, he just needs
a little spintarella.

A what? A push! A push!

All right, Mama,
I'll try. I'll try.

Well, it sure is nice

seeing the whole
family together like this.

It's a lucky man
who has a family.

Gives you the feeling of roots.

Something to work for.

You're absolutely
right, Frankie.

Yeah. Hey, Mama.

How long you and
Papa been married?

27 years.

Oh, that's wonderful.
Just wonderful.

"Nothing like
marriage," I always say.

I say it, too.

Me, too, if it's the
right boy and girl.

Boy, you said it.

'Course, if it ain't,
it can be just awful.

Couples shouldn't
rush into these things.

Eat, Mr. Gomopile. Eat.

But it's true. My mama
used to always say,

"Marry in haste and
repent in leisure."

Your mama used to say that?

Oh, Mama had a million
sayings like that. She had another

one that was... Eat,
Mr. Gomopile. We'll talk later.

Leo, Mama tells me you got
your own butcher shop now.

How's business?

Pretty good. Oh, that's nice.

Your own business
going pretty good.

Guess the next thing you'll be
thinking about is settling down.

I don't know. I owe money

on fixtures and things. I've
got to take care of that first.

GOMER: You're 100% right.

Man's gotta settle up before
he can settle down, right?

Your mama say that, too?

That's right.

Your mama didn't have
no daughters, did she?

I didn't think so.

Oh, Leo, some
bread? Rosa made it.

In fact, she made everything.

Yeah? No kidding!

But I thought you made
the dinner, Mrs. Lombardi?

Me? Where did you get that idea?

Frankie told me.

Said you was the
best cook in the world.

He said a fella today
might as well stay single.

That none of the girls today
can cook like their mamas.

Did my big-mouth son say that?


Did you really say
that? What he said?

Mama, Gomer
got it a little twisted.

He got me a little twisted, too.

Frankie, you got to do
something about him.

He opens his mouth
one more time,

Rosa's an old maid.
Please, Frankie talk to him.

Okay, shh, shh!
Mama, I'll explain things.

Now look, you go and
ask him to come in.

All right. Okay.

Why? Why?

Why don't we go
into the other room,

sit around and
have coffee, talk?

After you, Leo.

That's a real fine idea.

Not you.

You see Frankie in the kitchen.

He wants to talk to you.

Did you want me, Frankie?

Yeah, look, Gomer. Look,
it's about Rosa and Leo.

See, we'd all kind of like
to see them get married.

Aww, that'd be nice.

When it's gonna be?

Well, that's just it. See,
he hasn't asked her yet.

We have to encourage him.

So look, try not
to say things like,

"Marry in haste, repent
in leisure". You know?

Or that Mama made the dinner.
See, that kind of spoils things.

Oh, I'm sure sorry.

I never meant to
spoil anything. Golly.

Well, I know you didn't, Gomer.

You see, Leo is the kind of
guy that needs a little pushing.

I mean, that's what
we're trying to do.

Well, I'll tell
you what I'll do.

I'll make up for
it. I'll pitch right in

and tell him how nice
it'd be to be married.

Good boy.

Gomer, why don't
you sit right over there?

Well, it sure is nice

seeing everybody again.

Hey, Leo?

Ain't it kind of lonesome
being a bachelor?

No, not really.

I live with my sister
and brother-in-law.


Still, it's not like having
young'uns around.

They got eight kids.


But it's not like
having your own home.

It is my home.

They rent the top floor from me.


You mean you got a
home and a business?

And a car and a
color television set.

Still, a man wants
something else.

I don't know what.

Seems to me
you've got everything.

Some cake?

Anybody want some
cake with their coffee?

Not for me, Mrs. Lombardi.

I've got to be getting
home. Thanks anyway.

But it's a very nice
cake. Rosa made it.

And she really
did make the cake.

Thanks, but I really got to go.

Gomer, nice
meeting you. It's nice

meeting you, Leo.
Oh, I won't be here

tomorrow night. I'm
working late at the shop.

Frankie, you're looking good.

I'll go out with you.

That's the way it is.

He eats, he goes, he comes back.

He eats, he goes, he comes back.

But about a wedding?
Silenzio. Aah.

Just seeing that
Leo asleep on his feet

makes me sleepy, too.

Come, Papa.

Huh? It's very nice.
Rosa made it herself.

He's gone. He's gone. Come on.

Wait, Mama, it's still early.

We're not gonna go to
sleep so early, are we?

What do we got to stay up for?

Well? Anything?

Mama, please. All
right, don't say it.

I know already. It's nothing.

Papa, let's go.

Oh, Mama, wait. Don't go up yet.

What are we gonna do,
rehearse the wedding march?

No, but we don't want
to go to sleep so early.

Hey, how about some music?

Gomer sings, you know that?

Do a song for us,
Gomer. Huh, how about it?

Well, hadn't
really figured on it.

Oh, come on. And Rosa,

you can follow him on the
piano. Come on, Gomer.

You know, like you do in
the barracks sometimes.

Come on.

Here you are, Gomer.

I do happen to know an Italian
song, if you care to hear it.

Great! Crank it up.

Well, okay.

Do you know Anema
E Core? I think so.

Wait, Mama.

Come on, Mama. You'll enjoy it.

Gomer's got a real nice voice.

I know, I heard it.

Mama, now listen,

you mustn't worry about Leo.

Besides, he's not the
only fellow in the world.

Rosa will get a man.

Where? When? Who? How?

♪ My life I'd give for you ♪

♪ Anema E Core ♪

(speaking Italian)

Wait, Papa.

♪ I only live for you ♪

What's that? What?


♪ Anema E Core ♪

A love song.

♪ I have but one desire ♪

♪ And it's to love you ♪

♪ With all my heart,
with all my soul ♪

Come on, Mama,
let's go in and sit down.

No, no.

♪ My whole life through ♪

♪ From stars I'll
make your crown ♪

♪ And kneel before you ♪

♪ I pray you'll take my hand ♪

♪ For I adore you ♪

♪ Open up the doors
leading to heaven ♪

♪ A heaven mine and yours ♪

♪ Anema E core. ♪

(song ends)

ROSA: That was very nice, Gomer.


You really accompany
good, Miss Rosa.

Thank you, Gomer.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm getting a
little tired myself.

See you in the
morning. Good night.

Good night now.

Good night.

Good night, Rosa.



What is it, Mrs. Lombardi?

Call me, Mama.

You sang that song
like you meant it.

The answer to a prayer.

Now, look, Mama...

That's why he said all
of those things to Leo.


Sure! He wants
Rosa all to himself.

That's why!

Look, Ms. Lombardi...

Don't spoil it with talk.

Tomorrow, we talk.

And we got lots to talk.


Yeah, Rosa made it herself.

What does she mean, Frankie?

She means, Gomer,
"Welcome to the family."

Morning, everybody.

Bon giórno, bon giórno.

Papa, look who's here.

Mr. Gomer Pyle.

Mr. Gomer Pyle.
Good boy. Bon giórno.

Last night was wonderful.

You sang that song beautiful.

But I wasn't
really... Buon giórno.

MAMA: Julio, grazie.

Julio. Hey, Julio.

(speaks Italian)

That's him?

This is your Uncle Julio.

I'm pleased to know... My uncle?

What do you think?

You're right.

Just like John Wayne.


Sit down, sit down.

Mr. Gomer Pyle,

you are getting a good girl.

A good girl.

She's getting a good boy.

He sings like Caruso.


Caruso, John Wayne.

And a government
check every month.

Oh, she's getting some package.

Tell me, son, what do you do

when you're gonna
leave the Marines, huh?

Well, I used to work
in a filling station.

A gas station. That's perfect.

We put him in with Dominic.

Hey, hey. He's another cousin.

He's got a 12-pumper.

But I couldn't...
Don't thank us.

What's a family for?

Hey, do you like kids?

Beg your pardon?

Let me see your hand, huh?

Uh, Julio... he reads the palms.

But I couldn't let...
Mamma mia...!

(speaking Italian)

What?! What?!

He's gonna have 11 kids!

MAMA: Julio, you sure?

For sure. Absolutely.

Three girls and eight boys.


Papa, you hear? 11 bambini!


Hey, maybe 12.

(speaking Italian)

I wish I could tell you

how happy you make me and Papa.


Grazie, grazie.

(speaking Italian)

(quietly): Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.

I'll go up and see
how Frankie's doing.

Yeah, you go up
and talk to Frankie.


Such a hand I never saw.


Oh, how did it go? You tell 'em?

Well, it was mostly a
case of them telling me.

Telling you? Telling you what?

Well, lots of things.

Like I'm gonna be a father.

With 12 young 'uns.

Gomer, make sense.

Your Uncle Julio
seen it all right there.

Well, didn't you tell them
you're not interested in Rosa?

Fact is, I didn't.
Before I could say

a word, they...

Good morning,
Gomer. Hi, Frankie.

Hey, Miss Rosa. Hi, sis.

I heard about what happened

after I left you last night.

I can't begin to tell
you how sorry I am.

It's all right, Miss Rosa.

Mama just doesn't
seem to understand

that Leo and I really are
gonna get married someday.

She's just getting
herself into a panic.

You sing a song to me,

and she's ready
to grab hold of you.

Of anybody.

I understand. Rosa, don't worry.

I'll explain it to the folks.

Thanks, Frankie.

Anyway, I did want
you to know how I felt.

Mama means well, of course,

but she's just getting
a little ridiculous.

I am sorry.

See you downstairs.

Boy, your sister
sure is a nice girl.

It would almost
serve that Leo right

if another fella did
come along and take her.

And that could happen,
too, because if you don't...

Hey. Hey, maybe
you've got the answer.


Look. Look, if Leo proposed,
everything'd be perfect, right?

So, how do we get him to move?

We throw a little scare into
him that he's gonna lose Rosa.

A scare? You mean,
make up a story?

'Cause if you do, I...

No, no, no, no, no.
By telling him the truth.

What are you talking about?

Hi, Leo. Hey, Frankie.

What are you doing, cleaning up?

Yeah, just getting
ready to close the place.

You remember Gomer.

You met him at
the house last night.

Sure. What do you say
there, Gomer? Hey, Leo.

What brings you guys down here?

Oh, well, we just thought we'd
drop by and see your place.

Yeah? Gee, it sure is nice.

Gee, we missed having
you at supper tonight, Leo.

Yeah, I missed being there.

And I'm, uh...

Gee, I'm sorry you had
to leave so early last night.

Yeah? Why? What happened?

Oh, uh, Gomer sang a song.


Yeah. It was an
Italian love song.

Wasn't it, Gomer? Uh-huh.

Yeah, and he sang it to Rosa.

Boy, she sure liked it.

Yeah? So?

FRANKIE: Oh, so, nothing.

But you should have
seen Mama, Leo.

Boy, to her, that was it.

She grabbed Gomer and
hugged him and kissed him.

And guess what, Leo?

She even brought Uncle
Julio over to meet him.

She wants him to meet

the whole family. Boy,
I'm telling you, she...

All right, all right, Frankie,
what are you trying to tell me?

Oh, nothing, Leo.
You're trying to tell me

my girl Rosa's got a
new boyfriend, huh?


Well, I just... Why don't
you come right out with it?

Who sent you down here with
that message, Rosa or your mother?

Oh, Leo, look, you
don't... I don't like

for nobody to put the
pressure on me, Frankie.

I don't like when they
put the squeeze on me.

Now, you expect me to
fall for a story like that?

Him and Rosa?
Don't make me laugh.

All I did was sing
a song, and I just...

Okay, okay, then go sing
her some more love songs.

See if I care. It's okay by me.

Well... Well, go ahead!

All right, let's go.

(door closes)

Who could figure it would
backfire like that? Who?

Now we really got some
bad news for your mama.

Not only is she losing me,

but from the way Leo sounded,
she might be losing him, too.

Well, the house is dark.

Everybody's asleep.

Well, that's good,
'cause I don't think

I could face
telling them tonight.


What is it?

Oh, I forgot the keys.

Well, what we gonna do?

Well, we'll just have to
ring the bell, wake 'em up.

Oh, let's don't do that.

Maybe there's a window open.

Well, look, you stay here.

I'll check around back.

Maybe the back door is open.

♪ ♪

No, you don't!

Leo, what are you doing here...?

So you guys weren't
kidding after all.

You were on the level. Huh?

I was thinking about what
you guys were telling me

back in the store,
and I says to myself,

"Nah, it can't be, it
can't be," but it's true.

But Leo, I was just
gonna go... You were just...

You were just gonna go
up there and get her, huh?

You're gonna elope? Is
that what you're gonna do?

You're gonna elope with
her? But Leo, I was just...

Well, I got news for you.

If anybody's gonna elope
with her, it's gonna be me.

Do you understand that?
But, Leo, I don't think...

I'm warning you now,
Pyle, don't try to stop me.

I don't care if
you are a Marine.

When I'm mad, I'm a tiger.
Now get out of my way!


What is it? What's going on?

(whispers): Rosa?


What?! What is it?


Papa, wake up.

It's burglars!

Burglars? Help! Police...!

Help! Police, help!

Police, help! Help, help, help!

Papa! Leo. Please, please help!

Leo, what are you doing here?

What's going on?

What is it? I don't know!

What's going on?

You want to know
what's going on?

I'll tell you what's going on.

I come for Rosa.

She's gonna marry me.

That's what's going on.

And she's gonna
elope with me, not him!

Who's him?


Well, hey, everybody.

25 years, no husband for Rosa,

and in one night,
we got two of them.

Ain't that nice, Mrs. Lombardi?

Ain't that real nice?

You hear that?

They're gonna get
married... Rosa and Leo!

My babies are getting married.

(laughs) But isn't that
what you always wanted?

(crying): He's taking
my baby away from me.

Oh... (laughs)

My baby!


That sure was a good breakfast,

Mrs. Lombardi.

Hey, where's Rosa, Mom?

Isn't she up yet?

Up and gone an hour ago.

She and Leo went
looking at furniture.

I guess it's gonna be all right.

Mama, it'll be perfect. (laughs)

Poor Mr. Gomer Pyle.

But Rosa could only marry one.

She's been going
with Leo for two years.

He was first.

I understand, and
the best man won.

Oh, you say that, but I know,

deep in your
heart, it's different.

You're a healthy young
man, and it's only natural

that you should
want to get married.

More than anything in the world.

But don't worry.

Everything is
gonna be all right.

(laughs) (doorbell buzzes)

Don't go away.

Good old Mama.

She's worried
about you suffering.

Bless her heart. (chuckles)

MAMA: Mr. Gomer Pyle?

I want you to meet
Rosa's cousin, Gina.

She's not married.

Why don't you sing her

that nice song you know?

Frankie, can't you see

they want to be alone?

Come on!

(Mama humming)