Glee (2009–2015): Season 6, Episode 8 - A Wedding - full transcript

The New Directions are busy working and planning, while, with a wedding upcoming, Sue has a change of heart and encourages everyone to follow their own.

Come on.

So why are we in a barn

in rural northeast Indiana?

Well, gay marriage is illegal

in Ohio, but legal in Indiana.

- Makes absolutely no sense.
- No, no.

I mean, what are we doing in a barn

in rural northeast Indiana?

I thought it would be fun
for you two to get married

in the barn that Brittany was born in.

What? Wait, what?

Your father had his heart set

on this trip to the Amish country

and we spent the whole day shopping for

handcrafted Amish electric fireplaces,

and I had this

horrible indigestion

from all that apple butter

and I told

your father to pull the car over

and I ran into this barn

for some privacy.

I quickly pulled down my pants

and I squatted real low...

and usually, I never look...

Oh, my God.

But it was just my
lucky day. I looked down,

and it turns out

I was in labor

and Brittany, it was you.

And I was very lucky,

'cause there was a little cow over here

and he helped lick you clean,

and I swaddled you

in a Mr. Submarine wrapper

that I found on the ground

and I carried you back to the car,

and boy, was your father surprised.

That story's insane.

Listen, I'm so happy.

That makes me very happy.

I could not be happier.

I've got my two moms

and future BFFs together at last,

and I think, babe...

- What?
- this is the perfect place to get married.

Well... it could be fun.

- I can work with this.
- You better.

As your official wedding planner,

I'll be there to make sure it's perfect.

And while this isn't

exactly what I was picturing, either,

- Mrs. Lopez,
- Mm.

I do think this place

- has some potential.
- Mm-hmm.

Ooh, it's looking good, guys.

Hey, when you're done with that,

we need to give Tina a hand.

How did I end up doing this?

These are, like, 700-pound hay bales.

Because you volunteered to help out.

I didn't think I'd be stuck

doing heavy manual labor,

or I wouldn't have worn heels.

And I don't...

I don't really know all these new kids

and I think they're a little pissed

that I didn't re-introduce myself

and now nobody's talking to me

- and it's really awkward.
- Oh, no. What's wrong?

I'm freaking out! I-I-I'm,
like, in total panic mode.

I don't think this barn
is structurally sound

and I'm scared it's gonna collapse

and just, like... I'm
gonna kill everybody.

Britt, you are just having

some pre-wedding jitters...

- No.
- It's totally fine.

I'm like, we still,
uh, we still haven't had

our final fittings... Oh, Kurt.

I just got a telegram
from Martina Navratilova

that she can't be our officiant
because she's never really

done it before and she doesn't
really know either of us.

- Okay...
- Oh, my God. That's wrong.

Can we-we just, like, throw it up?

Like, way up high?

- And these are in the wrong spot.
- Well, you...

- you just said to put them here.
- Okay, well, you're wrong.

I didn't... that... I'm sorry.

You know, I-I'm here to help, okay?

And Britt, you have got
to trust me when I say

that everything is gonna be fine.

I-It's okay to have a-a little
anxiety before your wedding.

There's dirt on the white thing.

How did you cope with,
like, wedding planning?

Well, I-I didn't really have to,

because we called it off b-before...

You remember?

I find it really hard to
track your relationship.

Well, this isn't about me.

Um... so let's just focus

on the problems at hand, okay?

Like the problem of your boyfriend

being older than your dad?


I know who can officiate.

- Who?
- Burt!

- Who's...?
- Burt Hummel.

I-I don't... I don't know who that is.

It's-it's my dad.

It's his dad.

Your... Yes.

Listen up, bitches. Here is the game plan.

Britt and I do not want to see each other

in our dresses till the wedding.

So we're gonna come out one at a time

and show you our selections.

- Okay?
- And no peeking, Santana,

'cause I don't want
9,000 years of bad luck.

Ooh, let the fashion show begin!

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ It's beautiful ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Everything you see ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ It's beautiful ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Together, you and me ♪

♪ See life in all the colors ♪

♪ Of the rainbow ♪

♪ It's beautiful, this world ♪

♪ And the sun is streaming in ♪

♪ Through every window ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Feel it all ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ It's beautiful ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Everything you see ♪

♪ La la, la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la ♪

♪ La la la la, la la la la ♪

♪ La la la la la la la la ♪


Brittany, that's it.

That is absolutely stunning.

I think this is the one, you guys.

I think so, too.

It looks so comfy, you could dance in it.

- It's beautiful.
- I know, right?


Wow, Brittany, You look so beautiful.

Oh, my God, what are you doing?

I was going crazy back there, but

you know what? Everybody's right.

- You look incredible.
- No, no, no. You're not supposed

to see the dress before the wedding.

Oh, my gosh, this is bad
luck, Santana! Bad luck!

It's okay, Britt. Calm
down. It's gonna be okay.

Here. Throw some salt over your shoulder.

Go back inside. Go change.

- Okay. Go, go, go!
- What am I gonna do?

What's happening? What do I do?

Hey, guys, do you mind

if I ritualistically
slaughter this chicken?

I want to counteract the bad luck

of Santana seeing me in my wedding dress.

Oh, my God, you are not

slaughtering that chicken in here!

- I know, but it'll help.
- No. No.

Take the chicken out.

This is your lucky day, sir.

Just, please stop.

Listen, if you want to distract your mind,

why don't you use your math brain

to help us figure out the seating chart?

Good idea.

Okay, um...

Well, I still think we should seat people

based on the Dewey Decimal System.

So, like, uh... Kurt
should sit with Rachel,

because they're both a little annoying.

- No offense.
- Why aren't

Sam and Rachel seated next to each other?

Carol and Burt are gonna be there

and I don't want to upset them.

Everybody is fine with you being with Sam.

They're gonna be fine, too.

I just haven't talked to Carol in a while.

I did a lot, at first,

and then I just got really
busy with the glee club

and I don't want to upset her.

Look, Carol and Burt both lost people

that they were in love with,

and then they found one another

and they started over again.

They're gonna expect
you to do the same thing.


And there you go.

Wait. Okay, hold up.

No me gusta. Why is Sue on the list?

Oh, we should just find her a table.

She could sit with Becky Jackson.

No. No, she is not invited to my wedding.

Look, Sue has just been such
a big part of our lives, right?

I mean, we only met because
she put us in the Cheerios!

All I have to say

is if you invite the woman to the wedding,

there is an 80% chance
that she's gonna ruin it.

But if you don't,

there's a 99% chance that she will.

Praise. Well, listen,

all I'm saying is no. Hell, no.

If she's there, then I'm not.

So, I figured we could get

fitted for suits at this place I know.


actually, I... I had something else

I wanted to talk to you about.


I'm going to the wedding

with Blaine.


I see.

I'm so sorry.

I-I never expected this to happen.

It's called "young love," Kurt.

It gets bruised

and then it gets back up again.

It's a nice thing.

So... you aren't mad?



Jealous? Well...

I mean, you're right at
the beginning of it all.

I look at you, and...

I think of the lifetime of love

I could've had if I hadn't wasted it

pretending to be someone I'm not.

You're lucky, Kurt.

Go be lucky.

And whatever happens,

even if you get hurt again, just remember:

the only thing worth doing

is going toward love.

Don't waste time double-guessing.

And don't waste time behaving yourself.

You gotta run, you gotta jump!

'Cause it won't stick around forever.

You gotta grab it while
it's right in front of you.

Whatever you do...

don't let go.

- Kurt, are you okay?
- No.

I'm not okay, okay?

I-I-I love you.

I-I-I still love you,

and I-I know everything was

completely messed up before,

but everything's fine now. So will you...

will you, will you go
to the wedding with me?

I-I mean, unless there's...

there's somebody else.

There's no one else.


So, I've gathered my best boys

to get your opinion on something.

I'm gonna ask Mike to marry me.

- Chang?
- What you talking 'bout, Tina?

I got the ring and everything.

Tina, I love you, but
this is kind of crazy.

Is it really so crazy
for a girl to ask a boy

for their hand in marriage these days?

When you're not even dating the boy?

Yes. It is.

I think it's romantic.

Thank you, Blaine.

When I was with Mike,

I was the happiest I've ever been.

Look, two of our friends
are getting married

and we've had two other near-weddings.

I let Mike get away and it was
the biggest mistake of my life.

I can't afford to risk losing
him forever to some other girl.

Grab the moment and run with it.

I'm all for that,

but how often do you guys even talk?

We didn't much when I was here,

but once I got to college

we started texting a lot.

I mean, he's texting me right now.

I can honestly say

that Mike is my best friend again,

and he knows me better than anyone else.

I'd love nothing more than to see

you and Mike together forever.

He's awesome, you're awesome,

and you'd be guaranteed
to have Asian kids,

so they'd automatically be super smart.

I'm Team Chang-Chang all the way.

Thank you.

What about you, Artie?

I can't do this unless you all agree.

I have my concerns.

Uh, but if this is what you really want,

then of course I support you.

Thank you all so much.



- Thank you, thank you.
- It's wonderful!


Heard you wanted to see me.

Make it quick. I'm busy.

Oh, okay.

Um, well, I understand you
don't want me at your wedding

and of course that is your prerogative,

but for the record, I
would just like to say

that I'm very hurt by that.

And I fully realize that, over the years,

uh, you and I have had a
few minor... differences.

But weddings are the time

to put all those differences aside.

That's a steaming load of
crap. I want to be surrounded

by the people who love me
and the people that I love.

The only person that you
know how to love is yourself.

You don't know the first thing about me.

Yeah, actually I do.

I know how selfish and
self-centered you are.

Like the time that you wore an exact copy

of Emma Pillsbury's
dress to her own wedding.

And how you perverted
the very idea of marriage

by marrying yourself.

You are incapable of a selfless act.

And if you do what you
always do and just show up,

you will be forcibly removed
by the security guards

that I have hired.

So have fun polishing your trophies, Sue.


He's fragile, be careful.

I can't get mud on the wheels.


- You must be Carol?
- I am.

Hi, I'm Blaine's mom.

Oh, my goodness, so nice to meet you.

It's so nice to meet you, too.


You're blocking my face.

Stop blocking everybody.



- Are you smiling? You smiling?
- No. No.



- Did you take it?
- Mm-hmm.

I mean, everyone said it would be hard,

but I'm telling you, man, the air force,

it's a breeze.

Wow, Tina.

You look super-hot.

Doesn't she, Mike?

She always looks hot.

Well, I'll, uh, leave you two.

Oh, your tie's a little crooked.

Just straighten that out a little bit.

Hey, guys.

Hey, what's up, guys?

Just going over my notes

before my officiating.

Oh, you both look so
handsome in your suits.

- Yes, you do.
- Seems like only yesterday

we were getting ready
for your guys's wedding.

- That was the most beautiful day.
- Best day of my life.

- Aw...
- It's crazy to think

- that we almost followed right in your footsteps.
- Well, almost,

and that would have been
a beautiful day, too,

but, you know, it just...
it wasn't meant to be.

Young and foolish.

Hey, maybe you two guys
weren't meant to be,

but, it's, like...
young, foolish? Come on.

Are any of us ever
really ready for anything?

No, I wasn't ready to lose your mom.

And because of that we haven't
wasted one day since we met.

That's right... it's been
a crazy adventure ever since.

Uh-huh, it has. You're
gonna make mistakes,

and that's okay... I have made so many.

- Are you saying I'm one?
- You are not one of them.

- You are one of the good things.
- Thank you.

But you just have to take

every second of every day

and squeeze it as tight as you can.

Just wring every last bit out of it.

- Finn taught me that.
- Yep.

Finn taught me that,
cancer taught me that,

seeing you in that
hospital bed taught me that.

Man, officiating a wedding

- really puts you in a mood.
- Yeah, it does.

- You just start thinking, and philosophizing...
- Get serious.

- And-and "speechifying"... Excuse me.
- So go and, you know what?

- We're gonna get you a beverage.
- We'll let you guys... All right, get me...

- I'm not drunk.
- No, he's not.

Okay, Mercedes, I need
you to find a spider,

'cause it's good luck to
put a spider on your dress.

Um, and Tina, I need to find
some wine glasses to smash

like the Jews do, 'cause
they have the best of luck.

Oh, and, um, Rachel, I need you to

find me a lizard to cross my path...

Trust me, it's, like,
witch's lore, or something.

Go! I need all the good
luck I can get, okay?

I don't want to end up like Jack and Rose.

Where the hell am I gonna find a lizard?

Go, go, go.

Good luck, good luck, good luck.

When I pictured my wedding day,

I thought that I'd be the
most beautiful bride ever,

but I was wrong.

You are... you look amazing.

Santana, what are you doing here?

This is, like, the ultimate bad luck.

God, a bride cannot see her
bride before the ceremony.

Why are you trying to
sabotage this wedding?

You know what?

This was all adorable,

but now I'm putting my foot down.

Do you even know why a
groom couldn't see the bride

before the wedding?



Dates back to arranged marriages.

People thought that if the couple had time

to see each other before the wedding,

they would change their minds

and bail on actually getting married.

That's not us, okay?

Because you love me, and I love you.

And no silly superstitions
are gonna change that.


I'm really sorry that I can't go an hour

without seeing you, 'cause
I'll just miss you too much.

And me and you?

Rules don't apply to us.

They never have.

We make our own luck,

so I say that it's good luck

to kiss the bride before the
wedding because then we can have

that kiss that we can't have in
front of our friends and family

'cause they'd be too jealous.

- Come here.
- I agree.

I love you so much.

But so does this mean I don't have to wear

the blue underwear I borrowed from Tina?

Ew, no, Britt, no, you shouldn't do that.

- I just felt weird about it.
- Ew.

What the hell are you doing here?

You know what, Britt? You
actually might be right.

We might actually have
the worst luck of all time.

'Cause I can't marry you if I'm
in jail for killing this bitch.

Look, kid, I come bearing gifts.

There's nothing that you could
give me that I would want.

I told you I don't want
you here today, so get out.

Well, when you see the gift I'm bearing,

you will change your tune.


What are you doing here? What's going on?

Well, I stopped by your
abuela's house the other day,

and laid down a little reverse Sue-chology.

Mrs. Abuela, you don't know me,

but I coached Santana on the Cheerios!

and worked very hard to make
sure her high school years

were a living hell.

For some reason, I'm not
invited to her wedding.

And I understand that you're not going

because of your religious beliefs.

So I thought... who better to enlist

to ruin her big day than you?

So what do you think about that whole...

stoning them to death
thing that the Bible says?

That's horrible.

What do you think about
having them jailed?

Like our good friends the Russians do.

- No!
- Okay, thinking of a more Westboro approach?

Getting together a good
old-fashioned hate group

and picketing?

I was wrong.

I'm not saying I agree

with every decision you make.

I still don't believe
it's right for two women

to get married, but I do believe

that family is the most
important thing in the world.

And I love you, Santana.

I don't want to be the person in
your life that causes you pain.

And I don't want to miss the
day that I've been dreaming of

my whole life.

Or the birth of your kids.

Or any other important days.

I don't agree with everything
that you believe, either.

I just want my abuela back.

I've missed you.

I've missed you, too.

I always knew Sue was my good luck charm.

Can I hug?

Come on.


I'm pushing it, aren't I?

Okay, all right.

Do your thing.

Oh, is this so lovely.

I know, it's beautiful.

Where did they find the money?

Klaine, will you come with me, please?

We have a bit of a situation.

Nice try, Sue, but we're not gonna fall

for an elevator in a barn trick.

Oh, no, Porcelain, don't
thank me for forcing you

back into the arms of tiny Sal Mineo.

Listen, I swear to you on
Will Schuester's future grave,

this is a legitimate Brittan-emergency.

What are those?

Uh, Brittany, wh-what's going on?

Kurt, Blaine,

the whole time I was planning
this high-end barn wedding,

all I could think about was you guys,

and not because you remind me

of the pig and the gay
rat from Charlotte's Web,

but because I wouldn't be here
if it wasn't for you guys, okay?

I looked up to you as
a couple in high school.

You showed me there was a
place for me and Santana, too.

I mean, you taught me how to be brave.

And when you guys called off your wedding,

it just broke my heart.

Because it felt like my dream had died,

so I want my dream back.


I still don't get what
you're talking about, though.

Yes, you do, just think about it.

What Brittany is saying, Blaine,

is that out of our love

for your love,

we have conspired to
deceive and manipulate

and, yes, imprison you briefly

all to reach this moment.

We have two tuxes,

do we have two grooms?

Okay, you guys are making funny
faces... what do you think?

I think you're crazy.

I-I... Blaine and I just got back together,

and, uh, even if we hadn't,

e-even if we were ready,

I mean, Santana would never
let us crash her wedding.

Oh, well,

I would think again.

Turns out I am a lot like the Godfather

on a wedding day.

And as crazy as this all sounds,

I couldn't deny my bride her only wish.

All you have to do is say yes.

Say yes.

Say yes.

Well, we don't even have rings.

Oh, I got that covered.

So what do you say, fellas?

Will you give America

what at least 52 percent of it

will legally tolerate?

Uh, look, th-this is all very romantic,

and-and-and sweet,

and-and-and a little weird,

but, I mean, come on,

Th-there is no possible way




I don't know,

I-I don't know.


I just...

What Burt and Carole were
talking about earlier,

and these last few months without you

have been really...

I love you, Kurt.

I mean, I love you,

I-I do, I...

This is crazy, this is crazy.

And I don't... I don't know...

I don't know, but...


But what?

♪ At... ♪

♪ Last... ♪

♪ My love has come along ♪

♪ My lonely days are over ♪

♪ And life is ♪

♪ Like a song ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ At last ♪

♪ The skies ♪

♪ Above are ♪

♪ Blue ♪

♪ My heart is wrapped up in clover ♪

♪ Wrapped up in clover, baby ♪

♪ The night I looked at you ♪

- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Hey ♪

♪ Ooh, Ooh ♪

♪ I found a dream ♪

♪ That I could speak to ♪

♪ A dream that I ♪

♪ Can call ♪

- ♪ My own ♪
- ♪ Call my own ♪

- ♪ A thrill that I ♪
- ♪ A thrill that I ♪

♪ Have never known ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

- ♪ Oh, you smile ♪
- ♪ You smile ♪

♪ Oh, and then the spell ♪

♪ Was cast ♪

- ♪ Yes, it was ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪

♪ And here we are ♪

♪ In heaven ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ For you are mine ♪

♪ For you are ♪

♪ Mine ♪

♪ At ♪

♪ Last ♪

- ♪ Oh ♪
- ♪ Yes you are ♪

♪ You're mine ♪

♪ At last ♪

♪ You're mine ♪

♪ At last ♪

♪ Oh, oh. ♪

My husband's in the bathroom!

And he missed the whole aisle thing.


All right, don't say a word. I
am barely keeping it together.

Uh, dearly beloved.

That's how you're supposed

to start these things, right?

Uh, twice in my life

I've been lucky enough to
meet the love of my life.

And both of those times,

I've married that love.

And I knew I was lucky

to be able to do that.

But I didn't know how lucky

until I had to drive over the state line

to come here to officiate the weddings

of these two loving couples.

And I thank you guys.

Santana, Britt?

Blaine, Kurt?

I want to thank you
guys for being so brave.

And so honest.

And for standing up here

and showing all of us

that love and marriage is so much bigger

than we thought it could be.

And also so much simpler.

Love and marriage is when
two people say to one another

I love you because I love you.

And I know this is gonna
be one heck of a ride.

But I don't want to do it

unless I can do it with you.

And now, the vows, please.

My husband's in the bathroom
and he's missing all the vows.


I'm a man who's always

lived in the shadows.

And everyone who's

come into my life has always tried

to pull me out into the sun

or push me back into the darkness.

I've been bullied,
outed and misunderstood.

I honestly thought that I
would never find real love.

The world seemed so scary and confusing.

It was just too fast.

It made me feel dumb just because

my brain worked differently

And then you came along and even if

someone had told me that
it wasn't gonna work out,

and that at the end of
all of our struggling

and all of our work, it
would just end in heartache...

I would've said yes.

A thousand times yes.

I would've suffered it all

just for the tiny chance to be

standing up here marrying you.

I'm a work in progress.

I am a work in progress.

I'm a work in progress.

I'm a work in progress.

You don't ask me

to come out of the shadows.

You help me move away anything

that's blocking the sun.

It's time for all of us to
walk into the sunshine together.


Is that something you want to do?

I do.

I do.

I do.

I do.

And now by the power
vested in me by the Internet

and the state of Indiana

and under a God who for sure

if he believes in love,

then he fully endorses

the loving marriages of
these two wonderful couples,

I now pronounce you

wife and wife

and husband and husband.

You may kiss one another.

Hello. My name's Pierce Pierce.

And I'm Brittany's father.

And I was just told that I was expected

to stand up and give a toaster.

But, uh, I just called Target,
and they're closed, so...

instead I'd just like to say a few words.


I'm so happy

that you and Santana
finally found one another.

You look absolutely stunning in that gown.

And, um, honestly?

I can speak on behalf

of my wife...

you're the prettiest one here.

And I don't just think
you're the prettiest.

I think you're the
prettiest by a long shot.

I mean, if you look at
all the other girls here,

there's really no contest.

I mean,

some of them are just downright homely.

You know what I'm talking about.

You're-you're blowing it.

And you need to sit down.

'Cause nobody is uglier than
you without your clothes on.

Knock it off.

I was just informed

that no one's ugly and to knock it off!

In closing,

I just want everyone to be
really careful of the candles.

Because with all that
dry wood and hay bales,

this place could up like a blowtorch.

And we'd all be dead in minutes.

So... salud.

All right, everyone, so, uh, at this time,

we would normally be serving dinner.

But, um, before we do that,

we have a gift for each
and every one of you.

So, in case you're
basic and you don't know,

OTP stands for "One True Pairing."

And I've been lucking enough

to find mine with Brittany.

And Kurt and Blaine were
lucky to find each other.

And so in the spirit of
everyone here finding their OTP,

please join us on the dance floor.

And let's get this party started.

♪ One, two, three, uh! ♪

♪ My baby don't mess around because ♪

♪ She loves me so and
this I know for sure ♪

♪ Uh! But does she really wanna ♪

♪ But can't stand to see
me walk out the door ♪

♪ Uh! Don't try to fight the feeling ♪

♪ 'Cause the thought alone
is killing me right now ♪

♪ Uh! ♪

♪ Thank God for Mom and Dad
for sticking two together ♪

♪ 'Cause we don't know how ♪

♪ Uh! ♪

♪ Hey ya ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ Hey ya ♪

♪ Oh-oh, don't want
to meet your daddy ♪

- ♪ Hey ya ♪
- ♪ Just want you in my Caddy ♪

- ♪ Oh-oh, hey! ♪
- ♪ Hey ya ♪

♪ All right, now, all
right now, fellas ♪

- ♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ Now, what's cooler ♪

- ♪ Than being cool? ♪
- ♪ Ice cold ♪

♪ I can't hear you I
said wha-what's cooler ♪

- ♪ Than being cool? ♪
- ♪ Ice cold ♪

♪ All right, all right, all right, all
right, all right, all right, all right ♪

- ♪ Okay, now, ladies ♪
- ♪ Yeah? ♪

♪ Now, we gonna break this thing
down in just a few seconds ♪

♪ Now, don't have me break
this thing down for nothing ♪

♪ Now, I want to see y'all
on your baddest behavior ♪

♪ Lend me some sugar,
I am your neighbor ♪

♪ Aah! Here we go ♪

♪ Shake it, shake it ♪

- ♪ Okay ♪
- ♪ Shake it, shake it, shake it ♪

- ♪ Shake it like a Polaroid picture ♪
- ♪ You know what to do ♪

♪ Hey ya ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ Hey ya ♪

- ♪ Oh-oh ♪
- ♪ Hey ya ♪

♪ Oh-oh ♪

♪ Hey ya. ♪

Hey, Tina.

Great day, huh? Oh, the best.

Hey, promise me you won't leave
until we get at least one dance.

Oh, of course. Uh, Mike, wait!

Do you have a second?

I-I need to ask you something.



Uh, Mike?

Not a day goes by that
I don't think about you.

And I thought being away
from you all these years

would make me forget the love
that we had together, but...

it's only made me love you more.

I want to spend every day
of my life with you, and...

well, I've forgotten half of
the things that I wanted to say,

so, um...

Michael Robert Chang Jr.,

will you marry me?

I-I know you're probably
freaked out right now!

I-I would be, too, and
obviously you don't have

to give me an answer right
now, and-and we don't have

to get married any time soon.
We can both finish college.

And I just...

I just love you so much.

I love you, too.

B-But, Tina...

I can't marry you.

Oh, my God.


This was so stupid.

I'm so stupid.

I mean, what kind of idiot does this?!


But you're not an idiot.

Look, I think about you all the time, too.

And-and every time I do,

I smile.

And it means the world to me

that we reconnected this past year.

And I love how smart,
funny and sexy you are.

I... yeah.

I said "sexy."

And I've felt that way
ever since that summer

we made out at Asian Camp.

When four of our best friends

get married on the same day,

I-it's only natural to want what they have.

We have our whole lives ahead of us.

And who knows where we'll be in a year?

But there's a million guys out there

- who would be so...
- Yeah, I know.

I get it.

I would like to propose

that we go in there and have our dance.

Well, I accept your proposal.

Well, I didn't really propose.

- It was like, you just...
- Oh, stop it.

Where'd you get that ring, by the way?

Come on, come on, come on.

This party's on fire!

And we whipped up a little number for you.

And we have some very special guests:

The Treble Tones!

♪ Tonight's the night
we're gonna make it happen ♪

♪ Tonight we'll put
all other things aside ♪

♪ Give in this time ♪

♪ And show me some affection ♪

♪ We're going for those
pleasures in the night ♪

♪ I want to love you ♪

♪ Feel you ♪

♪ Wrap myself around you ♪

♪ I want to squeeze you ♪

♪ Please you ♪

♪ I just can't get enough ♪

♪ And if you move real slow ♪

♪ I'll let it go ♪

♪ I'm so excited ♪

♪ And I just can't hide it ♪

♪ No, no, no, no ♪

♪ I'm about to lose control ♪

♪ And I think I like it ♪

♪ I'm so excited ♪

♪ And I just can't hide it ♪

♪ No, no ♪

♪ I know, I know, I
know, I know, I know ♪

♪ I want you ♪

♪ I want you, I want you, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, boy, I want to love you ♪

♪ Feel you ♪

♪ Wrap myself around you ♪

♪ I want to squeeze you ♪

♪ Please you ♪

♪ I just can't get enough ♪

♪ And if you move real slow ♪

♪ I'll let it go ♪

- ♪ I'm so excited ♪
- ♪ Whoa-whee ♪

♪ I just can't hide it ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

♪ I'm about to lose control ♪

♪ And I think I like it ♪

♪ I like it, I like it ♪

- ♪ I'm so excited ♪
- ♪ I'm so excited ♪

- ♪ And I just can't hide it ♪
- ♪ I just can't hide it ♪

♪ I know, I know ♪

♪ I know, I know, I know I want you ♪

- ♪ I want you ♪
- ♪ I'm so excited ♪

♪ Look what you do to me ♪

♪ I just can't hide it ♪

♪ You got me burning up ♪

♪ I'm about to lose control ♪

♪ And I think I like it ♪

♪ I think I like it ♪

♪ I'm so excited ♪

♪ I just can't get enough ♪

♪ I've got to give it up ♪

♪ I know, I know I want you, baby ♪

♪ Look what you do to me ♪

- ♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh, yeah ♪
- ♪ You got me burning up ♪

♪ I know, I know, I
know, I know, I know ♪

♪ I want you, I want you ♪

If I could just steal your
attention for one moment.

On behalf of our inspirational brides,

my husband and I... whoa,
that was weird to say.

Uh, we would like to say thank you.

Thank you, thank you so
much to all of our family

and to all of our friends
for showing us, by example,

that real love is worth waiting for.

And worth fighting for.

We would like to dedicate the next song

to all the couples in the room,

be it official or unofficial.

- All right. So all couples to the dance floor, please.
- Come on.

♪ Our day will come ♪

♪ And we'll have everything ♪

♪ We'll share that joy ♪

♪ Falling in love can bring ♪

♪ No one can tell me ♪

♪ That I'm too young to know ♪

♪ Young to know ♪

♪ I love you so ♪

♪ Love you so ♪

♪ And you love me ♪

♪ Our day will come ♪

♪ If we just wait awhile ♪

♪ No tears for us ♪

♪ Think love and wear a smile ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ All dreams have magic ♪

♪ Because we'll always stay ♪

♪ In love this way ♪

♪ Our day ♪

♪ Will come ♪

♪ Our day will come ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, oo-ooh ♪

♪ All dreams have magic ♪

♪ Because we'll always stay ♪

♪ In love this way ♪

♪ Our day ♪

♪ Will come ♪

♪ Our day ♪

♪ Will come ♪

Oh... I thought we were
doing takeout on the risers.

We could've gone to a real restaurant.

I was feeling nostalgic.

I wanted to relive our Tuesday lunches.


How are you doing?


I know you think I'm crazy

for proposing to Mike.

But it's... it's a little hard,

seeing all these fun, exciting things

happening to your friends

and not getting a little jealous.

I mean,

look at Kurt and Blaine

and how spontaneous they were

and how everything just worked out.

I wish,

just for once, that could be me.

No one loves being alone.

I know I don't.

But I also know you
can't just force yourself

to be in a relationship

to avoid it.

I mean, that's how you miss out

on finding the perfect person for you.

I mean, if you hadn't dumped me,

you never would've started dating Mike.

Um, excuse me, you broke up with me.


Because I had a fake stutter?

Stop. That is not what happened at all.

I never would've broken up with you.

- You're awesome.
- Ugh...

I'm sure I'll be fine
being alone forever...

Tina, your problem

is that you always worry too much.

You're not going to spend your life alone.

How can you be sure?


How about this?

Let's make a pact.

If we're both not married by 30,

we'll marry each other.

Oh, my God, Artie, yes!

We love each other, our sexual chemistry

- is undeniable...
- Uh-huh.

- Oh.
- See?

And our kids

are pretty much guaranteed

to get into every preschool.


I officially accept your invitation

to be your backup fiancée.

How romantic.

I mean,

I think everyone needs

a little more Tartie in their lives.

I think we're more Artina.

Look at us.

Already putting the other person first.

That's a sign of a healthy relationship.

Here's to always having somebody

amazing to roll with.

And as we know, no one
rolls better than me.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Okay, Sue.

We know you're in here.

You can come out now.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't my gender-gentle AnderHummels

and the autistically feisty LoPierces.

Sue, we appreciate the very
strange lengths you went

to push us both to the altar, but...

What are we doing here?

Well, I have one last gift

for both of you, my legacy couples,

and I wanted to give them to you myself.

Don't worry, it's not a song.

Or a minority choir.

Now, I realize, uh...

that you all see me as
a driven, richly complex,

emotionally bipolar role model,

but after all these years,

I can't help but see you as my own kids.

Inside each of your envelopes
you will find your very own

honeymoon showcase showdown.

Oh, but we already booked a honeymoon.

Oh, but I canceled that honeymoon.

A weekend trip to Provincetown?

Staying in Andrew
Sullivan's cabana house? Wow!

Well, Andrew's an old friend
of mine. Or he used to be.

We're not speaking now; it's a long story.

A month-long, all-expenses-paid trip

to the Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island

- in the Bahamas.
- In the Bahamas.

- Oh, my gosh, no way!
- That's where Wonder Woman was born!

Lassos of Truth included!

It's crazy!

- Oh, my God...
- Thank you.

Live, love, prosper.

And I've gotta come up with

some new shipper fodder.

Hmm. How 'bout PuckCedes?

How's that? Or FaBerry?

Can't get enough of the lesbians.

You're the best.


I can't believe we actually did this.

I can't believe we survived that party.

Oh, my gosh...

I can't believe we have
the same anniversary now.

I can't... wait, hold up. What was that?

Yeah, you guys, we're
in this together now.

Okay? You can count on us. And
I think we should make a pact,

to, um, celebrate our
anniversaries together

every year for the rest of our lives.

- Or maybe like every fifth year?
- Fifth.

- Okay.
- That's okay.

- I think we must do it every year.
- Skype.

- We can Skype, like, every year or something.
- Sure...