Glee (2009–2015): Season 6, Episode 7 - Transitioning - full transcript
Will is struggling to coach the Vocal Adrenaline as they refuse to listen to him. Rachel, being evicted out of her house because her dads finally sold it, is having a hard time. Both the Glee Club and Sue welcomes Sheldon Bieste with open arms and tries their best to make him feel at home after his gender transition.
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¶ shot through the heart
and you're to blame ¶
¶ darling, you give
love a bad name ¶
(bon jovi's "you give love
a bad name" playing)
Will:
I'm living in a dream.
Besides having
an unlimited budget,
Kids recruited
from all over the world
For their talent,
A nutritionist,
costume designer
And strength
and conditioning specialist,
Being the coach
of vocal adrenaline
Has a few other perks,
like this company car,
My own massage therapist,
And a paycheck so big, we moved
into a higher tax bracket.
¶ an angel's smile
is what you sell ¶
¶ you promise me heaven ¶
¶ then put me through hell ¶
¶ chains of love ¶
¶ got a hold on me ¶
¶ when passion's a prison ¶
¶ you can't break free, oh ¶
¶ you're a loaded gun ¶
The kids are so committed.
They start practice
on their own most days.
I'll admit i do miss
The camaraderie
of the new directions!
It's every man
for himself here.
¶ you give love ¶
¶ a bad name! ¶
¶ a bad name! ¶
The alumni support is huge.
Our boosters are
incredibly generous.
My wife says
this one is the best.
Wow, really this is
so unnecessary.
I was always
a football guy myself.
But my flaming gay son
loves show choir.
Ah.
And championships
are championships.
So, i'm throwing
all my influence
Behind vocal adrenaline.
(both laugh)
And we're all counting
On another win this year,
mr. Schuester.
Oh, i think as long
as you're happy
And feeling good,
we support you.
I mean, you need to just keep
being honest with yourself.
The way i see it,
i'm playing the long game
In terms of making
real changes there.
I can't expect to go
in there and alter
Their whole way
of doing things.
My dream is to combine
the resources
And support
of vocal adrenaline
With the heart and inspiration
of the new directions!
Well, if anybody can
do that, you can.
Ah! What do you say
we let him out to play, huh?
What-- here?
Oh, my god, no.
He might touch something.
Life is good.
What?
(laughs)
(gasps)
oh!
Oh, my god!
What happened?
Your team vocal adrenaline.
They decided to go
with the tradition
Of egging the competition.
Aah!
(vocal adrenaline yelling)
You suck!
(school bell ringing)
Okay. So, i've heard
from my friends
Rachel berry
and blaine anderson,
The coaches of the new
directions! And the warblers,
That they were egged
By my kids the other day
on the way to their cars.
Come on, guys!
I have to put my foot down!
This kind of bullying
will not be tolerated!
Hey, i think you're
being intolerant
Of our intolerance, will.
It's mr. Schuester.
And don't be such
a smart-ass, clint.
This week...
We're gonna be taking turns
performing songs
Dealing with the theme
of "tolerance."
I will lead by example.
And i've invited
a very special guest to join me.
And a vocal adrenaline alumni.
(macklemore and ryan lewis'
"same love" begins)
¶ when i was in the third grade,
i thought that i was gay ¶
¶ 'cause i could draw,
my uncle was ¶
¶ and i kept my room straight ¶
¶ i told my ma,
tears rushing down my face ¶
¶ she's like, "will, you loved
girls since before pre-k ¶
¶ trippin'," yeah, i guess
she had a point, didn't she? ¶
¶ bunch of stereotypes
all in my head ¶
¶ i remember doing
the math like yeah ¶
¶ i'm good at little league,
a preconceived idea ¶
¶ of what it all meant
for those that liked ¶
¶ the same sex,
had the characteristics ¶
¶ the right wing conservatives
think it's a decision ¶
¶ and you can be cured with
some treatment and religion ¶
¶ man-made rewiring of a
predisposition playing god ¶
¶ yeah, yeah ¶
¶ aw, nah, here we go ¶
¶ america the brave still fears
what we don't know ¶
¶ and god loves all his children
is somehow forgotten, but we ¶
¶ paraphrase a book written
3,500 years ago ¶
¶ i don't know ¶
¶ and i can't change
even if i tried ¶
¶ even if i wanted to ¶
¶ hey, my love, my love ¶
¶ my love, she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is patient ¶
¶ she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is kind ¶
¶ she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is patient ¶
¶ she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is kind ¶
¶ she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is patient ¶
¶ not crying on sundays ¶
¶ love is kind ¶
¶ love is patient ¶
¶ love is patient ¶
¶ oh, whoa! ¶
¶ love is kind. ¶
¶ love is kind. ¶
What the hell was that,
schuester?
You can't be serious.
Serious as a hangnail, honey.
Shut up, stop rapping
And let us rehearse
for sectionals.
We don't care about
gay or straight
Or trans or intersects.
We care about winning.
No, wait.
This is genius.
If we can get the new
directions! Worked up
Into thinking we're intolerant
of an entire group of people,
They'll go
into will schuester mode.
And dedicate an
entire week of practice
To a lesson about tolerance.
Hey!
This behavior is over.
Yes, you are talented.
No, that does not
give you the right
To behave however you want.
Now, like it or not,
i am running
This show choir now,
and i'm gonna run it how i like.
Man:
Well, mckinley, this is it.
It took a long time
to get here.
And my heart's racing like a
slow pig at a sausage factory.
But i can truly say that today
I'm living the life
i always wanted.
I took some time off
To let my outsides catch up
with my insides.
But now i'm ready to take
this old jalopy for a spin.
So...
Say hello
to coach sheldon beiste.
Sue:
Coach!
Welcome back!
You know, from a distance,
I almost mistook you
for an aging
Yet virile james garner.
Oh, thanks, sue.
Mm-hmm.
It's-it's good to be back.
Coach!
It is so good to have
you back and in true form.
Oh, my gosh!
We got so much guy talk
to catch up on
That we never even
got to do before.
Like, uh, about me and rachel
And then mercedes,
i talked to her, we're cool.
You're fine, sam.
Just take a breath
So you don't black out on me.
Hey, coach,
i want you to know
That i've taken steps
To battle the scourge
Of cisnormativity
Uh-huh.
And transmisogyny.
And some other terms
i had never heard of
Until i did a quick wikipedia
search this morning.
Um, thanks, but i just
want things to go
Right on back to normal.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, good 'cause i wro... Had
this list of all these pronouns.
I mean, you just tell me
which one and i'll enforce it.
There's he, there's sh-he,
there's it,
Zhim, ze...
I-i think he and him works fine.
Now, coach, as you know,
i've always been
Quite vocal about my opposition
To bullying in any form.
And i want you to know
that i am here for you
As a friend, ally
And a shoulder to cry on.
Metaphorically, of course.
Because you're a man now
and real men don't cry.
Beiste: I got to say
i'm impressed, sue.
I kind of figured someone
would say something.
Or gawk at me funny or...
Coach, you will
be happy to know
That mckinley high is now
A fully gender-fluid
high school.
Wow.
All right?
Now, if you'll excuse me,
out of the corner
Of my eye i see a fatty
Who could use a good,
healthy fat shaming.
Hmm.
Uh, well, you know,
I should probably get going.
Yeah, i got to go
meet rachel and, um...
High five!
Yeah, that's some strength, huh?
(school bell ringing)
Morning!
What's wrong?
Are you still upset
about getting egged
And stuff?
No, sam, something happened.
Something way worse.
Early this morning,
i was fast asleep,
And i was having
the most amazing dream
That i was on broadway
And there was all this pudding.
And then i woke up
to this pounding!
(banging nearby)
At first i thought it was just
a really big woodpecker.
Or maybe a neighbor was
installing an in-ground pool.
But then i saw what it was.
My dad sold our house!
Wait, but isn't, isn't that a
good thing? You said it's
Been on the market for a while
now, and every time they had
An offer, the buyer just
backed out last minute.
Yes! That's because
i was sabotaging it!
The shower has vintage tile.
(groaning)
(screams)
Rachel, that's insane.
Sam, it's the only house
i've ever known.
It's the house
that i grew up in.
And-and i just really,
i-i hate the idea
That in a couple of days
it's gonna be someone else's.
All right, listen.
As somebody who sometimes
didn't have any home at all...
No. Mm-mm!
Mm-mm! No way.
I am not gonna let you guilt me
Into going along with this
because you once were homeless!
Okay? I'm sorry, but that has
nothing to do with this.
I just... I'm not
ready to say good-bye.
And i will be damned if i let
my dads go through with this.
(chuckling):
Get off.
Hey, guys, hey.
Thanks for coming.
Oh, for the love of all
that's sacred, what now?
Uh, well, i called you here
today because of rachel.
Seriously? I just finished
mentoring that girl
For, like, a week-- what could
she possibly need now?
Do you want to...?
Her dads just sold their house.
She has less than
a week to get out.
That house means
everything to her.
It's where she grew up.
It's where she saw her dreams
become a reality and...
Guys, this is a major
moment for her.
Okay? She's becoming
a new person.
Making one of the
biggest transitions of all.
One that we are all
gonna have to make soon.
Okay, just so we're clear,
We're still talking
about rachel, right?
Or are you announcing
your new gender?
Oh, my god! No!
This is all about rachel!
Look, guys, she's growing up.
We all are.
So, what's the plan, sam?
(horn honking)
(kids cheering, whooping)
You wanted to see me?
Have a seat, william.
Hey, sheldon.
How you doing?
Wait, what's going on?
It's not a big deal.
Sue's just making
a big stink over nothing.
America's newest male
sheldon beiste
Arrived in our parking lot
yesterday
To find his car vandalized
With a horribly
Offensive word.
Oh, my god.
That's terrible.
Sheldon, i'm so sorry.
It's all right.
I knew that there was
a possibility
That something like this
was gonna happen.
So when it did,
i wasn't all that surprised.
I-i'm sorry. Just, um,
You-you said it
happened here, so
What does this
have to do with me?
Newly boobless,
Would you like to tell him
or shall i?
They wore carmel colors, will.
They were from vocal adrenaline.
They were your kids.
Are you serious?
No one goes after one
Of my friends and
gets away with it.
Except for me.
I always go after your friends,
And i've never not gotten away
with it.
(sighs)
(school bell ringing)
i'm sorry.
Okay, you guys, let's get
started on this week's lesson.
It is called buckeye bull's-eye,
Featuring all artists
from ohio!
Marilyn manson
and dean martin...
Actually, rachel, there has
been a slight change in plans.
Kurt, you can't just change
the lesson like that.
Well, sometimes life throws you
a curveball,
And you just got to embrace it.
That's why
This week's lesson is...
Transitioning.
Changing.
Charging forward.
Rachel, it's come
to our attention
That you're
having
Some challenges
with saying good-bye
To your childhood home.
Which is forcing you
to say good-bye
To your childhood
and fully accept adulthood.
Or at least that's according
to the very nice lady
At the lima
mental health clinic.
Sam:
So to help rachel with
this new transition,
We are throwing her a "farewell
to rachel's house" party,
And everyone's invited.
It's going to be friday night
in rachel's basement.
You guys, this is very
unnecessary but very sweet.
Madison:
Wait, so this lesson isn't
For us?
It's for rachel?
Yeah, so shut up.
Fetch me
my wheel!
Thank you. Welcome
to wheel of musical fortune!
(applause)
thank you. Thank you.
Everyone spins,
and whoever's name you land on,
You have to sing a duet
with them at the party.
All except for me. 'cause i told
you i want to sing with rachel.
I don't want to chance it.
Fine. Whatever.
Can't we just pick names
out of a hat?
Shh.
Okay, i'll go first.
Luck be a lady tonight!
Roderick.
Which-which one?
Uh, me. I'm-i'm roderick.
No, this is gonna be great.
You're great.
Okay, my turn!
Oh. Huh.
Well, i thought for sure
That wheel was gonna land
on artie's name.
Yeah, what are the odds?
Uh, ten to one.
Not that high.
But you're totally cool
with singing with me, right?
I-i understand if not.
Yeah, no, i really want to.
It's-it's just...
If you see dave,
Just don't bring it up, okay?
Oh, come on. It's just a song.
He can't be jealous from that.
I know, but i think
that he thinks that there's...
Still something between us.
Which there...
Obviously isn't.
Obviously.
Anyway, i'll call you. We'll
figure out what we're doing.
We can do something up-tempo.
Or-or slow.
It doesn't matter.
I'm versatile.
Okay. Cool.
All right. I'll call you. Okay.
(school bell ringing)
Who was it? I just
heard. I want names.
Which one of those vocal
adrenaline bastards did it?
What the fall leaves
are you talking about, pumpkin?
Your car,
The vandalism. Which one of
those rock lobsters was it?
It doesn't matter.
We're gonna kill those guys,
coach.
No, you're not gonna kill
anybody. You boys sit down.
Sit down!
I don't want you guys doing
anything about this,
You hear me? It's been handled.
It's real sweet
that you guys care,
But hurting him
isn't gonna fix anything.
It'll teach them not
to mess with any of us
Or we'll destroy them.
(sighs)
i've been dealing
with ignorant people
Who couldn't understand me
my whole life.
But you know what? I couldn't be
happier with myself.
How many people get
to say that? And, spencer,
I'm glad to hear you say
that you're one of us.
That's all
i've ever wanted to hear
From you, is that you're more
than just a star player
But that you're really part
of this team.
And, sam,
you did that.
You united us.
You're a hell of a
coach and a friend.
And if one good thing can come
out of this whole mess,
Well, then they gave us
the best freaking gift
In the whole world.
(chuckles)
Coach, look, i'm sorry.
I didn't... I didn't mean
to disappoint you.
I just...
I can't stand
to see my friends get hurt.
I know that, sam.
And you did not disappoint me.
In fact, i couldn't be prouder.
You boys get back to practice.
This is completely unacceptable.
I can handle insubordination,
But this, this isn't about me.
This is about teaching you
to act like human beings.
It's about knowing
that your-your common decency
And integrity
are-are more important
Than winning
show choir competitions.
Which perfectly sums up
your teaching style, schuester.
You think all of us didn't know
you were too soft for this job?
You have
a loser mentality.
You know who didn't give a crap
about being kind?
Lewis and clark.
George patton. Paul anka.
I don't want to be decent or
liked. I want to be a champion.
And this is how it's done.
The fact is
Vocal adrenaline is the last
Of a great dying breed
of communities
That is willing
to risk being called bad guys
And accept
the hard truth,
Which is that every person
on the planet knows
Winning is everything.
(cheering)
we will win nationals,
But we'll win it
the right way.
When will you just accept
That you don't
belong here,
That none of us like you,
That we make fun
of your vests
And your pep talks
behind your back?
You're a joke.
Yeah, well, the
joke's on you, clint.
You're off the team.
(scoffs)
You can't kick me
off the team.
I am the team!
Get out.
Now.
Okay.
Everybody warm up.
(grunts)
hey, come to bed, will. Oh.
Maybe just have a shower first
because you're touching
That wheel
that touched the ground.
You would think a stroller
that costs as much
As a mortgage payment would not
break a week after you got it.
Okay.
You're talking
in your angry man voice.
(sighs)
I'm sorry.
It's just...
(sighs)
I'm stuck.
I really don't
like my job.
I don't like the people
or the environment, and
it's not gonna change
Because they don't think
there's anything wrong.
I kicked that kid
off the team today,
But i know
that's not the end of it.
Those boosters are gonna come
after me.
Okay, well, look,
i don't need any of this stuff.
It's not like we'd have
to go on food stamps
If you quit
and found another job.
I know some teachers who are.
(sighs)
And we've talked about this,
emma. There are no other jobs.
Not ones
where i can coach show choir.
(sighs)
you know what the
worst part is?
I love all this extra stuff.
I love my fancy car
and fancy stroller
And fancy football tickets.
Maybe that makes me shallow
and immature, but...
All this extra stuff makes me
feel like more of a man.
And i hate myself
for loving it so much
That i would stay working
at a place
That stands for everything
i stand against.
Okay. So we'll manage.
You know?
You'll find another job.
My pamphlet of the month club
is starting
To bring in some extra cash.
A year ago, i would have.
(scoffs)
you can be principled
When you don't have kids to feed
and clothe.
Well, i think when you have kids
Is when it's most important
to be principled.
He's gonna be watching you,
will.
(sighs)
kids see
everything.
You can't hide
anything from them.
I mean,
when you buy him something,
He's gonna see your pride
and your shame.
He's gonna know
when you traded your integrity
For comfort and safety.
Look, i'm not saying
that you have to quit your job.
I understand the realities
of that. I do.
But i am saying...
You need to make a peace with
whatever choice you do make.
Okay?
Yeah.
(whirring)
(indistinct chatter)
Snuck a little something extra
in there for you, kurt.
Artie:
Hello, everyone. Welcome
and thank you for coming
To a "final farewell to rachel's
childhood home" party!
(cheering and applause)
¶ because you know
i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass,
no treble ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, no treble ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass,
'bout that bass ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass ¶
¶ bass, bass, bass, bass ¶
¶ yeah, it's pretty clear ¶
¶ i ain't no size two,
but i can shake it, shake it ¶
¶ like i'm supposed to do,
'cause i got that ¶
¶ boom boom
that all the boys chase ¶
¶ and all the right junk
in all the right places ¶
¶ i see the magazines
working that photoshop ¶
¶ uh-huh, uh-huh ¶
¶ we know that this ain't real ¶
¶ come on now, make it stop ¶
¶ make it stop ¶
¶ if you got beauty, beauty,
just raise 'em up ¶
¶ 'cause every inch of you
is perfect ¶
¶ from the bottom to the top ¶
¶ yeah, my mama, she told me ¶
¶ don't worry
about your size ¶
¶ size ¶
¶ she says boys like a little ¶
¶ more booty to hold at night ¶
¶ that booty, booty,
oh, that booty, booty ¶
¶ you know i won't ¶
¶ be no stick-figure,
silicone barbie doll ¶
¶ silicone barbie doll ¶
¶ oh ¶
¶ so if that's
what's you're into ¶
¶ then go ahead and move along ¶
¶ yeah ¶
¶ because you know
i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, no treble ¶
¶ oh... ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass,
'bout that bass, no treble ¶
¶ you know ¶
¶ you know, you know, ooh ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass,
'bout that bass, no treble ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass,
'bout that bass ¶
¶ you know i'm all about
that bass, 'bout that bass ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ i said
i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass,
ooh, i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, i said
i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ 'bout that bass,
i said i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ 'bout that bass,
'bout that bass ¶
¶ la, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la ¶
¶ i know you like this bass ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ oh ¶
¶ don't you know ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass,
'bout that bass. ¶
(cheering and applause)
(music playing in distance)
Wow.
The rachel berry
childhood bedroom.
Is it weird to think
that someday this room's
Gonna be re-created
in some broadway museum?
Hopefully with
animatronic robots.
You said you wouldn't
make fun of it.
Sam:
Oh, man, is that
from rocky horror?
Do you remember when i had to
wear those tight gold shorts?
I think
everyone remembers that.
Wow.
You can't do it, can you?
I mean,
Almost everything else
is boxed up, but
You haven't even
touched this wall.
All my best memories from
high school are on that wall.
My whole childhood
i just spent in this room
Singing and dreaming, all alone
With pictures
of barbra streisand
And patti lupone
and bernadette peters.
But then i met you
guys and suddenly
The wall started to fill
up with real friends
And real dreams.
I don't know. Everything's
just so clear in high school
And i'm supposed to just
pack it all up now?
We're gonna need
a bigger wall.
Mm... Star wars.
It's... It's jaws.
Oh.
Geez, what were you,
raised by monks?
Come here.
The wall
doesn't go away.
The wall just
gets... Bigger.
And higher
And plastered
in dreams.
You're going to
get that part.
And you're going
back to new york.
And you're taking
that wall with you.
And if i'm real
lucky, then
I'll always be
on it somewhere,
Wearing incredibly tight,
Sparkly gold shorts.
Whoa!
(whooping) yeah.
Thank you. Good job.
Just when you thought
we couldn't get any more
Warmth and love in a basement,
It's time
to bring out
Your two
favorite gays,
Kurt hummel and
Blaine anderson.
(whooping)
(betty who's
"somebody loves you" begins)
¶ who's around when the days ¶
¶ feel long ¶
¶ who's around
when you can't ¶
¶ be strong ¶
¶ who's around
when you're ¶
¶ losing your mind ¶
¶ hey ¶
¶ who cares that you
get home safe ¶
¶ who knows
you can't ¶
¶ be replaced ¶
¶ who thinks
that you're one ¶
¶ of a kind ¶
¶ oh ¶
¶ yeah ¶
¶ somebody
misses you ¶
¶ when you're away ¶
¶ they wanna wake up ¶
¶ with you every day ¶
¶ somebody wants
to hear you say ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ why don't you come on over ¶
¶ why don't you lay me down ¶
¶ lay me down ¶
¶ does the pain ¶
¶ feel better ¶
¶ when i'm around ¶
¶ if i am good to you ¶
¶ won't you be good to me ¶
¶ good to me ¶
¶ that's how easy ¶
¶ this should be... ¶
¶ somebody misses you ¶
¶ when you're away ¶
¶ somebody misses you, baby ¶
¶ they wanna wake up
with you every day ¶
¶ they wanna ¶
¶ wake up with you ¶
¶ somebody wants ¶
¶ to hear you say ¶
¶ oh, they ¶
¶ want you to say ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you. ¶
Are you sure
you have to go?
Doesn't sound like
we're done in there.
I-i wish i could,
but dave and i--
We have to wake up
at 5:00 a.M. Sharp
For the intramural football game
in bowling green.
Well, anyway, i had a lot
of fun singing with you tonight.
I thought we
sounded pretty good.
I thought we sounded incredible.
We haven't sounded that good
since the very first duet
That we did. Do you
remember what it was?
No, i'm blanking.
I'm kidding, of course i do.
It was
"baby, it's cold outside."
The entire time we were singing,
i just wanted
To turn off that damn boom box
And confess
my undying love for you
And give you the world's
most passionate kiss.
Oh, yeah? Well,
why didn't you?
I wasn't sure if you
felt the same way.
And you didn't.
Remember that guy you had a
crush on? The assistant manager
To the gap? The... What was
his name? Um, uh, jonathan,
Or, uh, jebediah?
Jer-jeremiah.
Jeremiah.
Yeah, whatever happened to him?
I have no clue.
Mm. It's funny
how someone could mean
So much to you
at one point in time, and then
A few years go by and...
(cyndi lauper's
"time after time" begins)
¶ lying in my bed i hear the ¶
¶ clock tick
and think of you ¶
¶ caught up in circles ¶
¶ confusion ¶
¶ is nothing new ¶
¶ flashback warm nights ¶
¶ almost left behind ¶
¶ suitcase of memories ¶
¶ time after ¶
¶ sometimes you picture me ¶
¶ i'm walking ¶
¶ too far ahead ¶
¶ you're calling to me ¶
¶ i can't hear
what you've said ¶
¶ then you say go slow ¶
¶ i fall behind ¶
¶ the second hand unwinds ¶
¶ if you're lost ¶
¶ you can look
and you will find me ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ if you fall
i will catch you ¶
¶ i'll be waiting ¶
¶ i will be waiting ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ you said go slow ¶
¶ i fall behind ¶
¶ the second hand unwinds ¶
¶ if you're lost you can look ¶
¶ and you will find me ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ if you fall i will catch you ¶
¶ i'll be waiting ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ if you're lost you can look ¶
¶ and you will find me ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ if you fall i will catch you ¶
¶ i will be waiting ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ time after
time ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ time after
time. ¶
(mouthing)
(footsteps approaching)
As i live and breathe.
(laughs):
Unique. Oh, girl.
How come you didn't call
me? I had to find out
My trans-gossip
from will schuester.
You're right.
I should have called.
I just didn't know
what to say to people.
You know? It's all been
a bit overwhelming.
Being back at mckinley
or the surgery?
About being myself, you know?
Trying to fit in.
You know, i did this
Because i needed to follow
how i felt inside.
And i finally feel
so normal inside.
(sighs)
but...
Nobody's treating me
like i am normal.
That's because you're
not normal. You're special.
And not because
of some surgery, but
Because you're
brave enough to go out
And get something
when you want it.
I don't want to always
Be special, though.
Does that make sense?
I just want to be
one of the guys.
But there's
no one else like me here.
You know, people
either fawn over me
Or they hate me because
they don't understand me.
Can i ask you something?
Did it hurt?
(soft laugh)
are you joking?
Like a bucket of hammers
being dumped on my chest.
(laughs)
But the weird thing--
it felt like
They never should have been
there in the first place.
Do you have any regrets?
Not for a second.
That feeling of relief
i have now
Of finally being who
i've always wanted to be--
It's the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
I just...
I wish sometimes i wasn't
going through it all alone.
You're not alone.
Hey, mr. Schuester,
I'm not sure if you heard,
but when jimbo wilson
Found out that you kicked me
off the team, he threw a tizzy
And told principal
gunderson to reinstate me.
If you have
a problem with that--
And i hope you do--
Jimbo says
to call him personally.
I don't have
a problem with that.
He's right.
And i was wrong.
You are this team.
You represent
Everything this
place stands for,
And i have put
my personal beliefs
Ahead of the reality
of what vocal adrenaline is.
To be honest,
I was thinking about quitting.
But then i realized
i still may be able
To teach you guys
a thing or two.
That said,
you certainly
Have found the
formula to winning.
Who am i to try to change that?
So as long as
i'm coaching here,
We win the v.A. Way.
Yeah!
Yeah!
That's what
i'm talking about.
And to prove to you
guys that i'm serious,
I have come up with a prank
to end all pranks.
Bring it in.
Tonight,
We sneak into mckinley high,
And i will show you all
that nobody understands
Psychological warfare
better than william schuester.
All:
Yeah! (whooping)
You know, i told them if they
put that clumsy, fat-ass craig
On defense we'd blow the game,
and what do they do?
They put that clumsy,
fat-ass craig
On defense, right?
It's unbelievable.
Okay. What?
Oh, what's what?
Whatever it is
that you've been staring
Into space over for days.
I mean, you've said,
like, two words.
Sorry.
Something happened that night
at rachel's party, didn't it?
I sang a duet with kurt.
It was rachel's
idea, okay?
It was, uh...
It was a silly glee club thing.
I don't even know why i
haven't told you about it.
Why would i be upset
that you sang a duet with kurt?
You guys don't stop singing.
That's not it.
Oh, man.
Dave...
Just tell me one thing.
Did he kiss you,
or did you kiss him?
I knew it.
(laughs)
(sighs)
Well... Guess i was lucky enough
To get a couple months
in with you, huh?
What does that mean?
It means you still love him.
You never stopped.
Ever since kurt came back
to lima,
There's been this ticking clock
hanging over us.
Time's up.
I'm sorry, dave.
I-i didn't mean to...
It's okay. It's okay. I know.
Hey...
No hard feelings, okay?
And you know that clumsy,
fat-ass craig?
He tried to slip me
his number at the game.
(laughs)
Look, there's a whole world
Of guys out there
waiting to be my rebound.
Go.
It's okay. Go. Tell kurt.
Uh, just do me a favor?
Don't sing it.
Just say it.
¶ ¶
Oh. Hi, blaine.
Uh, we were just leaving.
Oh, walter,
this is blaine.
Ah. Of course.
(chuckles)
the blaine.
Always nice to put
a face to the name.
Ooh. Neat bowtie.
I'm sorry.
Were you looking for me?
No. Uh, i was just looking
for rachel.
I-i wanted
to tell her something.
Oh, hey, blaine.
Did you want to
ask me something?
Uh, wh-where's
everybody going?
Oh, we're going
on a double date.
Walter and i have
a shared love for musical flops.
Oh, yeah. And walter
and i had this mutual love
For the delicious chicken parm
dipping balls
They got at breadstix.
Oh, my gosh,
they're so delicious.
Well, next time, maybe
you can bring karofsky,
And we'll triple-date it.
Oh, hey, did you want
to ask me something?
You know what? I forgot.
Okay.
Okay, here's my plan.
We're gonna go backstage
Where i've left two
boxes of k-y jelly tubes.
All right? Everyone grab a tube
And squirt out every last drop
onto the stage floor.
All right, everyone, huddle up.
We're gonna watch
Those fools literally
fall on their faces.
(laughter)
(lights clack on)
Unique:
¶ there's a light ¶
¶ in the darkness ¶
¶ though the night ¶
¶ is black as my skin ¶
¶ there's a light
burning bright ¶
¶ showing me the way ¶
¶ but i know where i've been ¶
(piano and drums join in)
¶ there's a cry ¶
¶ ooh-ooh ¶
¶ in the distance ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ it's a voice ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ that comes from deep within ¶
¶ there's a cry asking why ¶
¶ ooh, ooh, ooh ¶
¶ i pray the answer's up ahead ¶
¶ ooh, ooh, ooh ¶
¶ 'cause i know
where i've been ¶
¶ there's a road ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ we've been travelin' ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ lost so many ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ on the way ¶
¶ but the riches ¶
¶ oh, but the riches ¶
¶ will be plenty ¶
¶ the riches will be plenty ¶
¶ yeah ¶
¶ worth the risk ¶
¶ worth the risk ¶
¶ and the chances ¶
¶ and the chances ¶
¶ we take ¶
¶ take ¶
¶ there's a dream ¶
¶ there's a dream ¶
¶ in the future ¶
¶ there's a struggle ¶
¶ struggle ¶
¶ that we have yet to win ¶
¶ we have yet to win ¶
¶ use that pride ¶
¶ use that pride ¶
¶ in our hearts ¶
¶ in our hearts ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ to lift us up until tomorrow ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ 'cause just to sit still
would be a sin ¶
¶ i know it, i know it,
i know it, i know it ¶
¶ lord knows ¶
¶ i know... ¶
¶ where i've been... ¶
¶ oh, when we win ¶
¶ i'll give thanks to my god ¶
¶ 'cause i know where i've ¶
¶ been. ¶
¶ yeah, yeah, yeah. ¶
(applause and cheering)
Clint:
I knew you were
full of crap.
Your little "kumbaya" lesson
here cost us two hours
Of valuable rehearsal
time, and you can bet
The booster association
is gonna hear about it.
You know, i started teaching
glee club
Because i care about the arts.
And that means a lot more
than just practicing 24/7
Like militant robots.
It means finding
yourself in the music,
And sometimes it means taking a
week off of sectionals practice
To do something
to make your friend feel good.
At least that's what it meant
when i worked at mckinley.
And i'm not willing
to sacrifice that anymore.
So if you guys want to continue
To be intolerant
troublemakers, go for it,
Because i quit.
You can't do that, will.
I just did,
and it's not because of you.
It's because
unique came to me, and
We spent all week gathering
a transgender choir,
300 voices strong
To make you feel welcomed
and at home.
(horn toots, microphone squeaks)
Attention,
vocal adrenaline members,
I will give you six minutes
to leave campus
Before i unleash my hounds.
Also, i've slashed
all the tires on your bus
So you'll have to walk home.
Perhaps you can use
this march of death opportunity
To consider how awful
you really are.
(dogs barking)
So what are you
gonna do now?
I don't know.
I mean, i guess i have
to eventually find a new job,
But, honestly,
carmel paid so well
That we have enough savings
to last a few months,
So i can figure things out.
(sighs)
I am honestly so proud of
what you guys are doing here.
And if i ever doubted that there
needed to be somebody out there
To balance out the evil
empire of vocal adrenaline,
I am a true believer now.
Well, there is a job.
It doesn't really pay much.
Actually, it doesn't
pay anything at all,
But, well, kurt
and i were wondering
If-if you had the time, or
if you would even consider
Being the special
alumni consultant
For the new directions!?
Did you just make up
that title right now?
Yes, i just made
that up right now.
I absolutely did.
Yeah.
But kurt and i were talking, and
we could really use your help.
Coming up with these
weekly lessons
Is a lot harder
than we thought.
Okay.
Okay, as in,
you'll think about it?
No. Okay, as in,
i would be honored to help.
That's great. (laughs)
But i have, uh,
two conditions.
One-- you guys have to make all
of the major decisions.
And two-- you both have
to start calling me will.
Yes, i can definitely do that.
Kurt:
No. I don't think
I could ever call you
"will." that... No.
(laughs)
I...
Ah. I mean,
You guys are just passing
through this place again,
But i'm beginning to realize
that this is where i belong.
This choir room is who i am.
And i can't wait
to see the look
On sue's face when i tell her.
(laughs)
So, what's the lesson
for next week?
Well, kurt wants to do another
britney 3.0,
But, honestly, there's no more
songs left in her catalog.
There are tons of songs.
Well, no-- do the kids have
any personal problems?
We don't really know.
We don't spend too much
time talking to them.
Well, you should.
Get to know them.
Because one day, they may be the
best friends you've ever had.
---
¶ shot through the heart
and you're to blame ¶
¶ darling, you give
love a bad name ¶
(bon jovi's "you give love
a bad name" playing)
Will:
I'm living in a dream.
Besides having
an unlimited budget,
Kids recruited
from all over the world
For their talent,
A nutritionist,
costume designer
And strength
and conditioning specialist,
Being the coach
of vocal adrenaline
Has a few other perks,
like this company car,
My own massage therapist,
And a paycheck so big, we moved
into a higher tax bracket.
¶ an angel's smile
is what you sell ¶
¶ you promise me heaven ¶
¶ then put me through hell ¶
¶ chains of love ¶
¶ got a hold on me ¶
¶ when passion's a prison ¶
¶ you can't break free, oh ¶
¶ you're a loaded gun ¶
The kids are so committed.
They start practice
on their own most days.
I'll admit i do miss
The camaraderie
of the new directions!
It's every man
for himself here.
¶ you give love ¶
¶ a bad name! ¶
¶ a bad name! ¶
The alumni support is huge.
Our boosters are
incredibly generous.
My wife says
this one is the best.
Wow, really this is
so unnecessary.
I was always
a football guy myself.
But my flaming gay son
loves show choir.
Ah.
And championships
are championships.
So, i'm throwing
all my influence
Behind vocal adrenaline.
(both laugh)
And we're all counting
On another win this year,
mr. Schuester.
Oh, i think as long
as you're happy
And feeling good,
we support you.
I mean, you need to just keep
being honest with yourself.
The way i see it,
i'm playing the long game
In terms of making
real changes there.
I can't expect to go
in there and alter
Their whole way
of doing things.
My dream is to combine
the resources
And support
of vocal adrenaline
With the heart and inspiration
of the new directions!
Well, if anybody can
do that, you can.
Ah! What do you say
we let him out to play, huh?
What-- here?
Oh, my god, no.
He might touch something.
Life is good.
What?
(laughs)
(gasps)
oh!
Oh, my god!
What happened?
Your team vocal adrenaline.
They decided to go
with the tradition
Of egging the competition.
Aah!
(vocal adrenaline yelling)
You suck!
(school bell ringing)
Okay. So, i've heard
from my friends
Rachel berry
and blaine anderson,
The coaches of the new
directions! And the warblers,
That they were egged
By my kids the other day
on the way to their cars.
Come on, guys!
I have to put my foot down!
This kind of bullying
will not be tolerated!
Hey, i think you're
being intolerant
Of our intolerance, will.
It's mr. Schuester.
And don't be such
a smart-ass, clint.
This week...
We're gonna be taking turns
performing songs
Dealing with the theme
of "tolerance."
I will lead by example.
And i've invited
a very special guest to join me.
And a vocal adrenaline alumni.
(macklemore and ryan lewis'
"same love" begins)
¶ when i was in the third grade,
i thought that i was gay ¶
¶ 'cause i could draw,
my uncle was ¶
¶ and i kept my room straight ¶
¶ i told my ma,
tears rushing down my face ¶
¶ she's like, "will, you loved
girls since before pre-k ¶
¶ trippin'," yeah, i guess
she had a point, didn't she? ¶
¶ bunch of stereotypes
all in my head ¶
¶ i remember doing
the math like yeah ¶
¶ i'm good at little league,
a preconceived idea ¶
¶ of what it all meant
for those that liked ¶
¶ the same sex,
had the characteristics ¶
¶ the right wing conservatives
think it's a decision ¶
¶ and you can be cured with
some treatment and religion ¶
¶ man-made rewiring of a
predisposition playing god ¶
¶ yeah, yeah ¶
¶ aw, nah, here we go ¶
¶ america the brave still fears
what we don't know ¶
¶ and god loves all his children
is somehow forgotten, but we ¶
¶ paraphrase a book written
3,500 years ago ¶
¶ i don't know ¶
¶ and i can't change
even if i tried ¶
¶ even if i wanted to ¶
¶ hey, my love, my love ¶
¶ my love, she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is patient ¶
¶ she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is kind ¶
¶ she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is patient ¶
¶ she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is kind ¶
¶ she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is patient ¶
¶ not crying on sundays ¶
¶ love is kind ¶
¶ love is patient ¶
¶ love is patient ¶
¶ oh, whoa! ¶
¶ love is kind. ¶
¶ love is kind. ¶
What the hell was that,
schuester?
You can't be serious.
Serious as a hangnail, honey.
Shut up, stop rapping
And let us rehearse
for sectionals.
We don't care about
gay or straight
Or trans or intersects.
We care about winning.
No, wait.
This is genius.
If we can get the new
directions! Worked up
Into thinking we're intolerant
of an entire group of people,
They'll go
into will schuester mode.
And dedicate an
entire week of practice
To a lesson about tolerance.
Hey!
This behavior is over.
Yes, you are talented.
No, that does not
give you the right
To behave however you want.
Now, like it or not,
i am running
This show choir now,
and i'm gonna run it how i like.
Man:
Well, mckinley, this is it.
It took a long time
to get here.
And my heart's racing like a
slow pig at a sausage factory.
But i can truly say that today
I'm living the life
i always wanted.
I took some time off
To let my outsides catch up
with my insides.
But now i'm ready to take
this old jalopy for a spin.
So...
Say hello
to coach sheldon beiste.
Sue:
Coach!
Welcome back!
You know, from a distance,
I almost mistook you
for an aging
Yet virile james garner.
Oh, thanks, sue.
Mm-hmm.
It's-it's good to be back.
Coach!
It is so good to have
you back and in true form.
Oh, my gosh!
We got so much guy talk
to catch up on
That we never even
got to do before.
Like, uh, about me and rachel
And then mercedes,
i talked to her, we're cool.
You're fine, sam.
Just take a breath
So you don't black out on me.
Hey, coach,
i want you to know
That i've taken steps
To battle the scourge
Of cisnormativity
Uh-huh.
And transmisogyny.
And some other terms
i had never heard of
Until i did a quick wikipedia
search this morning.
Um, thanks, but i just
want things to go
Right on back to normal.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, good 'cause i wro... Had
this list of all these pronouns.
I mean, you just tell me
which one and i'll enforce it.
There's he, there's sh-he,
there's it,
Zhim, ze...
I-i think he and him works fine.
Now, coach, as you know,
i've always been
Quite vocal about my opposition
To bullying in any form.
And i want you to know
that i am here for you
As a friend, ally
And a shoulder to cry on.
Metaphorically, of course.
Because you're a man now
and real men don't cry.
Beiste: I got to say
i'm impressed, sue.
I kind of figured someone
would say something.
Or gawk at me funny or...
Coach, you will
be happy to know
That mckinley high is now
A fully gender-fluid
high school.
Wow.
All right?
Now, if you'll excuse me,
out of the corner
Of my eye i see a fatty
Who could use a good,
healthy fat shaming.
Hmm.
Uh, well, you know,
I should probably get going.
Yeah, i got to go
meet rachel and, um...
High five!
Yeah, that's some strength, huh?
(school bell ringing)
Morning!
What's wrong?
Are you still upset
about getting egged
And stuff?
No, sam, something happened.
Something way worse.
Early this morning,
i was fast asleep,
And i was having
the most amazing dream
That i was on broadway
And there was all this pudding.
And then i woke up
to this pounding!
(banging nearby)
At first i thought it was just
a really big woodpecker.
Or maybe a neighbor was
installing an in-ground pool.
But then i saw what it was.
My dad sold our house!
Wait, but isn't, isn't that a
good thing? You said it's
Been on the market for a while
now, and every time they had
An offer, the buyer just
backed out last minute.
Yes! That's because
i was sabotaging it!
The shower has vintage tile.
(groaning)
(screams)
Rachel, that's insane.
Sam, it's the only house
i've ever known.
It's the house
that i grew up in.
And-and i just really,
i-i hate the idea
That in a couple of days
it's gonna be someone else's.
All right, listen.
As somebody who sometimes
didn't have any home at all...
No. Mm-mm!
Mm-mm! No way.
I am not gonna let you guilt me
Into going along with this
because you once were homeless!
Okay? I'm sorry, but that has
nothing to do with this.
I just... I'm not
ready to say good-bye.
And i will be damned if i let
my dads go through with this.
(chuckling):
Get off.
Hey, guys, hey.
Thanks for coming.
Oh, for the love of all
that's sacred, what now?
Uh, well, i called you here
today because of rachel.
Seriously? I just finished
mentoring that girl
For, like, a week-- what could
she possibly need now?
Do you want to...?
Her dads just sold their house.
She has less than
a week to get out.
That house means
everything to her.
It's where she grew up.
It's where she saw her dreams
become a reality and...
Guys, this is a major
moment for her.
Okay? She's becoming
a new person.
Making one of the
biggest transitions of all.
One that we are all
gonna have to make soon.
Okay, just so we're clear,
We're still talking
about rachel, right?
Or are you announcing
your new gender?
Oh, my god! No!
This is all about rachel!
Look, guys, she's growing up.
We all are.
So, what's the plan, sam?
(horn honking)
(kids cheering, whooping)
You wanted to see me?
Have a seat, william.
Hey, sheldon.
How you doing?
Wait, what's going on?
It's not a big deal.
Sue's just making
a big stink over nothing.
America's newest male
sheldon beiste
Arrived in our parking lot
yesterday
To find his car vandalized
With a horribly
Offensive word.
Oh, my god.
That's terrible.
Sheldon, i'm so sorry.
It's all right.
I knew that there was
a possibility
That something like this
was gonna happen.
So when it did,
i wasn't all that surprised.
I-i'm sorry. Just, um,
You-you said it
happened here, so
What does this
have to do with me?
Newly boobless,
Would you like to tell him
or shall i?
They wore carmel colors, will.
They were from vocal adrenaline.
They were your kids.
Are you serious?
No one goes after one
Of my friends and
gets away with it.
Except for me.
I always go after your friends,
And i've never not gotten away
with it.
(sighs)
(school bell ringing)
i'm sorry.
Okay, you guys, let's get
started on this week's lesson.
It is called buckeye bull's-eye,
Featuring all artists
from ohio!
Marilyn manson
and dean martin...
Actually, rachel, there has
been a slight change in plans.
Kurt, you can't just change
the lesson like that.
Well, sometimes life throws you
a curveball,
And you just got to embrace it.
That's why
This week's lesson is...
Transitioning.
Changing.
Charging forward.
Rachel, it's come
to our attention
That you're
having
Some challenges
with saying good-bye
To your childhood home.
Which is forcing you
to say good-bye
To your childhood
and fully accept adulthood.
Or at least that's according
to the very nice lady
At the lima
mental health clinic.
Sam:
So to help rachel with
this new transition,
We are throwing her a "farewell
to rachel's house" party,
And everyone's invited.
It's going to be friday night
in rachel's basement.
You guys, this is very
unnecessary but very sweet.
Madison:
Wait, so this lesson isn't
For us?
It's for rachel?
Yeah, so shut up.
Fetch me
my wheel!
Thank you. Welcome
to wheel of musical fortune!
(applause)
thank you. Thank you.
Everyone spins,
and whoever's name you land on,
You have to sing a duet
with them at the party.
All except for me. 'cause i told
you i want to sing with rachel.
I don't want to chance it.
Fine. Whatever.
Can't we just pick names
out of a hat?
Shh.
Okay, i'll go first.
Luck be a lady tonight!
Roderick.
Which-which one?
Uh, me. I'm-i'm roderick.
No, this is gonna be great.
You're great.
Okay, my turn!
Oh. Huh.
Well, i thought for sure
That wheel was gonna land
on artie's name.
Yeah, what are the odds?
Uh, ten to one.
Not that high.
But you're totally cool
with singing with me, right?
I-i understand if not.
Yeah, no, i really want to.
It's-it's just...
If you see dave,
Just don't bring it up, okay?
Oh, come on. It's just a song.
He can't be jealous from that.
I know, but i think
that he thinks that there's...
Still something between us.
Which there...
Obviously isn't.
Obviously.
Anyway, i'll call you. We'll
figure out what we're doing.
We can do something up-tempo.
Or-or slow.
It doesn't matter.
I'm versatile.
Okay. Cool.
All right. I'll call you. Okay.
(school bell ringing)
Who was it? I just
heard. I want names.
Which one of those vocal
adrenaline bastards did it?
What the fall leaves
are you talking about, pumpkin?
Your car,
The vandalism. Which one of
those rock lobsters was it?
It doesn't matter.
We're gonna kill those guys,
coach.
No, you're not gonna kill
anybody. You boys sit down.
Sit down!
I don't want you guys doing
anything about this,
You hear me? It's been handled.
It's real sweet
that you guys care,
But hurting him
isn't gonna fix anything.
It'll teach them not
to mess with any of us
Or we'll destroy them.
(sighs)
i've been dealing
with ignorant people
Who couldn't understand me
my whole life.
But you know what? I couldn't be
happier with myself.
How many people get
to say that? And, spencer,
I'm glad to hear you say
that you're one of us.
That's all
i've ever wanted to hear
From you, is that you're more
than just a star player
But that you're really part
of this team.
And, sam,
you did that.
You united us.
You're a hell of a
coach and a friend.
And if one good thing can come
out of this whole mess,
Well, then they gave us
the best freaking gift
In the whole world.
(chuckles)
Coach, look, i'm sorry.
I didn't... I didn't mean
to disappoint you.
I just...
I can't stand
to see my friends get hurt.
I know that, sam.
And you did not disappoint me.
In fact, i couldn't be prouder.
You boys get back to practice.
This is completely unacceptable.
I can handle insubordination,
But this, this isn't about me.
This is about teaching you
to act like human beings.
It's about knowing
that your-your common decency
And integrity
are-are more important
Than winning
show choir competitions.
Which perfectly sums up
your teaching style, schuester.
You think all of us didn't know
you were too soft for this job?
You have
a loser mentality.
You know who didn't give a crap
about being kind?
Lewis and clark.
George patton. Paul anka.
I don't want to be decent or
liked. I want to be a champion.
And this is how it's done.
The fact is
Vocal adrenaline is the last
Of a great dying breed
of communities
That is willing
to risk being called bad guys
And accept
the hard truth,
Which is that every person
on the planet knows
Winning is everything.
(cheering)
we will win nationals,
But we'll win it
the right way.
When will you just accept
That you don't
belong here,
That none of us like you,
That we make fun
of your vests
And your pep talks
behind your back?
You're a joke.
Yeah, well, the
joke's on you, clint.
You're off the team.
(scoffs)
You can't kick me
off the team.
I am the team!
Get out.
Now.
Okay.
Everybody warm up.
(grunts)
hey, come to bed, will. Oh.
Maybe just have a shower first
because you're touching
That wheel
that touched the ground.
You would think a stroller
that costs as much
As a mortgage payment would not
break a week after you got it.
Okay.
You're talking
in your angry man voice.
(sighs)
I'm sorry.
It's just...
(sighs)
I'm stuck.
I really don't
like my job.
I don't like the people
or the environment, and
it's not gonna change
Because they don't think
there's anything wrong.
I kicked that kid
off the team today,
But i know
that's not the end of it.
Those boosters are gonna come
after me.
Okay, well, look,
i don't need any of this stuff.
It's not like we'd have
to go on food stamps
If you quit
and found another job.
I know some teachers who are.
(sighs)
And we've talked about this,
emma. There are no other jobs.
Not ones
where i can coach show choir.
(sighs)
you know what the
worst part is?
I love all this extra stuff.
I love my fancy car
and fancy stroller
And fancy football tickets.
Maybe that makes me shallow
and immature, but...
All this extra stuff makes me
feel like more of a man.
And i hate myself
for loving it so much
That i would stay working
at a place
That stands for everything
i stand against.
Okay. So we'll manage.
You know?
You'll find another job.
My pamphlet of the month club
is starting
To bring in some extra cash.
A year ago, i would have.
(scoffs)
you can be principled
When you don't have kids to feed
and clothe.
Well, i think when you have kids
Is when it's most important
to be principled.
He's gonna be watching you,
will.
(sighs)
kids see
everything.
You can't hide
anything from them.
I mean,
when you buy him something,
He's gonna see your pride
and your shame.
He's gonna know
when you traded your integrity
For comfort and safety.
Look, i'm not saying
that you have to quit your job.
I understand the realities
of that. I do.
But i am saying...
You need to make a peace with
whatever choice you do make.
Okay?
Yeah.
(whirring)
(indistinct chatter)
Snuck a little something extra
in there for you, kurt.
Artie:
Hello, everyone. Welcome
and thank you for coming
To a "final farewell to rachel's
childhood home" party!
(cheering and applause)
¶ because you know
i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass,
no treble ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, no treble ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass,
'bout that bass ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass ¶
¶ bass, bass, bass, bass ¶
¶ yeah, it's pretty clear ¶
¶ i ain't no size two,
but i can shake it, shake it ¶
¶ like i'm supposed to do,
'cause i got that ¶
¶ boom boom
that all the boys chase ¶
¶ and all the right junk
in all the right places ¶
¶ i see the magazines
working that photoshop ¶
¶ uh-huh, uh-huh ¶
¶ we know that this ain't real ¶
¶ come on now, make it stop ¶
¶ make it stop ¶
¶ if you got beauty, beauty,
just raise 'em up ¶
¶ 'cause every inch of you
is perfect ¶
¶ from the bottom to the top ¶
¶ yeah, my mama, she told me ¶
¶ don't worry
about your size ¶
¶ size ¶
¶ she says boys like a little ¶
¶ more booty to hold at night ¶
¶ that booty, booty,
oh, that booty, booty ¶
¶ you know i won't ¶
¶ be no stick-figure,
silicone barbie doll ¶
¶ silicone barbie doll ¶
¶ oh ¶
¶ so if that's
what's you're into ¶
¶ then go ahead and move along ¶
¶ yeah ¶
¶ because you know
i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, no treble ¶
¶ oh... ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass,
'bout that bass, no treble ¶
¶ you know ¶
¶ you know, you know, ooh ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass,
'bout that bass, no treble ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass,
'bout that bass ¶
¶ you know i'm all about
that bass, 'bout that bass ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ i said
i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass,
ooh, i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, i said
i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ 'bout that bass,
i said i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ no treble ¶
¶ 'bout that bass,
'bout that bass ¶
¶ la, la, la, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la, la, la ¶
¶ i know you like this bass ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ oh ¶
¶ don't you know ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass,
'bout that bass. ¶
(cheering and applause)
(music playing in distance)
Wow.
The rachel berry
childhood bedroom.
Is it weird to think
that someday this room's
Gonna be re-created
in some broadway museum?
Hopefully with
animatronic robots.
You said you wouldn't
make fun of it.
Sam:
Oh, man, is that
from rocky horror?
Do you remember when i had to
wear those tight gold shorts?
I think
everyone remembers that.
Wow.
You can't do it, can you?
I mean,
Almost everything else
is boxed up, but
You haven't even
touched this wall.
All my best memories from
high school are on that wall.
My whole childhood
i just spent in this room
Singing and dreaming, all alone
With pictures
of barbra streisand
And patti lupone
and bernadette peters.
But then i met you
guys and suddenly
The wall started to fill
up with real friends
And real dreams.
I don't know. Everything's
just so clear in high school
And i'm supposed to just
pack it all up now?
We're gonna need
a bigger wall.
Mm... Star wars.
It's... It's jaws.
Oh.
Geez, what were you,
raised by monks?
Come here.
The wall
doesn't go away.
The wall just
gets... Bigger.
And higher
And plastered
in dreams.
You're going to
get that part.
And you're going
back to new york.
And you're taking
that wall with you.
And if i'm real
lucky, then
I'll always be
on it somewhere,
Wearing incredibly tight,
Sparkly gold shorts.
Whoa!
(whooping) yeah.
Thank you. Good job.
Just when you thought
we couldn't get any more
Warmth and love in a basement,
It's time
to bring out
Your two
favorite gays,
Kurt hummel and
Blaine anderson.
(whooping)
(betty who's
"somebody loves you" begins)
¶ who's around when the days ¶
¶ feel long ¶
¶ who's around
when you can't ¶
¶ be strong ¶
¶ who's around
when you're ¶
¶ losing your mind ¶
¶ hey ¶
¶ who cares that you
get home safe ¶
¶ who knows
you can't ¶
¶ be replaced ¶
¶ who thinks
that you're one ¶
¶ of a kind ¶
¶ oh ¶
¶ yeah ¶
¶ somebody
misses you ¶
¶ when you're away ¶
¶ they wanna wake up ¶
¶ with you every day ¶
¶ somebody wants
to hear you say ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ why don't you come on over ¶
¶ why don't you lay me down ¶
¶ lay me down ¶
¶ does the pain ¶
¶ feel better ¶
¶ when i'm around ¶
¶ if i am good to you ¶
¶ won't you be good to me ¶
¶ good to me ¶
¶ that's how easy ¶
¶ this should be... ¶
¶ somebody misses you ¶
¶ when you're away ¶
¶ somebody misses you, baby ¶
¶ they wanna wake up
with you every day ¶
¶ they wanna ¶
¶ wake up with you ¶
¶ somebody wants ¶
¶ to hear you say ¶
¶ oh, they ¶
¶ want you to say ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you. ¶
Are you sure
you have to go?
Doesn't sound like
we're done in there.
I-i wish i could,
but dave and i--
We have to wake up
at 5:00 a.M. Sharp
For the intramural football game
in bowling green.
Well, anyway, i had a lot
of fun singing with you tonight.
I thought we
sounded pretty good.
I thought we sounded incredible.
We haven't sounded that good
since the very first duet
That we did. Do you
remember what it was?
No, i'm blanking.
I'm kidding, of course i do.
It was
"baby, it's cold outside."
The entire time we were singing,
i just wanted
To turn off that damn boom box
And confess
my undying love for you
And give you the world's
most passionate kiss.
Oh, yeah? Well,
why didn't you?
I wasn't sure if you
felt the same way.
And you didn't.
Remember that guy you had a
crush on? The assistant manager
To the gap? The... What was
his name? Um, uh, jonathan,
Or, uh, jebediah?
Jer-jeremiah.
Jeremiah.
Yeah, whatever happened to him?
I have no clue.
Mm. It's funny
how someone could mean
So much to you
at one point in time, and then
A few years go by and...
(cyndi lauper's
"time after time" begins)
¶ lying in my bed i hear the ¶
¶ clock tick
and think of you ¶
¶ caught up in circles ¶
¶ confusion ¶
¶ is nothing new ¶
¶ flashback warm nights ¶
¶ almost left behind ¶
¶ suitcase of memories ¶
¶ time after ¶
¶ sometimes you picture me ¶
¶ i'm walking ¶
¶ too far ahead ¶
¶ you're calling to me ¶
¶ i can't hear
what you've said ¶
¶ then you say go slow ¶
¶ i fall behind ¶
¶ the second hand unwinds ¶
¶ if you're lost ¶
¶ you can look
and you will find me ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ if you fall
i will catch you ¶
¶ i'll be waiting ¶
¶ i will be waiting ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ you said go slow ¶
¶ i fall behind ¶
¶ the second hand unwinds ¶
¶ if you're lost you can look ¶
¶ and you will find me ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ if you fall i will catch you ¶
¶ i'll be waiting ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ if you're lost you can look ¶
¶ and you will find me ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ if you fall i will catch you ¶
¶ i will be waiting ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ time after
time ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ time after
time. ¶
(mouthing)
(footsteps approaching)
As i live and breathe.
(laughs):
Unique. Oh, girl.
How come you didn't call
me? I had to find out
My trans-gossip
from will schuester.
You're right.
I should have called.
I just didn't know
what to say to people.
You know? It's all been
a bit overwhelming.
Being back at mckinley
or the surgery?
About being myself, you know?
Trying to fit in.
You know, i did this
Because i needed to follow
how i felt inside.
And i finally feel
so normal inside.
(sighs)
but...
Nobody's treating me
like i am normal.
That's because you're
not normal. You're special.
And not because
of some surgery, but
Because you're
brave enough to go out
And get something
when you want it.
I don't want to always
Be special, though.
Does that make sense?
I just want to be
one of the guys.
But there's
no one else like me here.
You know, people
either fawn over me
Or they hate me because
they don't understand me.
Can i ask you something?
Did it hurt?
(soft laugh)
are you joking?
Like a bucket of hammers
being dumped on my chest.
(laughs)
But the weird thing--
it felt like
They never should have been
there in the first place.
Do you have any regrets?
Not for a second.
That feeling of relief
i have now
Of finally being who
i've always wanted to be--
It's the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
I just...
I wish sometimes i wasn't
going through it all alone.
You're not alone.
Hey, mr. Schuester,
I'm not sure if you heard,
but when jimbo wilson
Found out that you kicked me
off the team, he threw a tizzy
And told principal
gunderson to reinstate me.
If you have
a problem with that--
And i hope you do--
Jimbo says
to call him personally.
I don't have
a problem with that.
He's right.
And i was wrong.
You are this team.
You represent
Everything this
place stands for,
And i have put
my personal beliefs
Ahead of the reality
of what vocal adrenaline is.
To be honest,
I was thinking about quitting.
But then i realized
i still may be able
To teach you guys
a thing or two.
That said,
you certainly
Have found the
formula to winning.
Who am i to try to change that?
So as long as
i'm coaching here,
We win the v.A. Way.
Yeah!
Yeah!
That's what
i'm talking about.
And to prove to you
guys that i'm serious,
I have come up with a prank
to end all pranks.
Bring it in.
Tonight,
We sneak into mckinley high,
And i will show you all
that nobody understands
Psychological warfare
better than william schuester.
All:
Yeah! (whooping)
You know, i told them if they
put that clumsy, fat-ass craig
On defense we'd blow the game,
and what do they do?
They put that clumsy,
fat-ass craig
On defense, right?
It's unbelievable.
Okay. What?
Oh, what's what?
Whatever it is
that you've been staring
Into space over for days.
I mean, you've said,
like, two words.
Sorry.
Something happened that night
at rachel's party, didn't it?
I sang a duet with kurt.
It was rachel's
idea, okay?
It was, uh...
It was a silly glee club thing.
I don't even know why i
haven't told you about it.
Why would i be upset
that you sang a duet with kurt?
You guys don't stop singing.
That's not it.
Oh, man.
Dave...
Just tell me one thing.
Did he kiss you,
or did you kiss him?
I knew it.
(laughs)
(sighs)
Well... Guess i was lucky enough
To get a couple months
in with you, huh?
What does that mean?
It means you still love him.
You never stopped.
Ever since kurt came back
to lima,
There's been this ticking clock
hanging over us.
Time's up.
I'm sorry, dave.
I-i didn't mean to...
It's okay. It's okay. I know.
Hey...
No hard feelings, okay?
And you know that clumsy,
fat-ass craig?
He tried to slip me
his number at the game.
(laughs)
Look, there's a whole world
Of guys out there
waiting to be my rebound.
Go.
It's okay. Go. Tell kurt.
Uh, just do me a favor?
Don't sing it.
Just say it.
¶ ¶
Oh. Hi, blaine.
Uh, we were just leaving.
Oh, walter,
this is blaine.
Ah. Of course.
(chuckles)
the blaine.
Always nice to put
a face to the name.
Ooh. Neat bowtie.
I'm sorry.
Were you looking for me?
No. Uh, i was just looking
for rachel.
I-i wanted
to tell her something.
Oh, hey, blaine.
Did you want to
ask me something?
Uh, wh-where's
everybody going?
Oh, we're going
on a double date.
Walter and i have
a shared love for musical flops.
Oh, yeah. And walter
and i had this mutual love
For the delicious chicken parm
dipping balls
They got at breadstix.
Oh, my gosh,
they're so delicious.
Well, next time, maybe
you can bring karofsky,
And we'll triple-date it.
Oh, hey, did you want
to ask me something?
You know what? I forgot.
Okay.
Okay, here's my plan.
We're gonna go backstage
Where i've left two
boxes of k-y jelly tubes.
All right? Everyone grab a tube
And squirt out every last drop
onto the stage floor.
All right, everyone, huddle up.
We're gonna watch
Those fools literally
fall on their faces.
(laughter)
(lights clack on)
Unique:
¶ there's a light ¶
¶ in the darkness ¶
¶ though the night ¶
¶ is black as my skin ¶
¶ there's a light
burning bright ¶
¶ showing me the way ¶
¶ but i know where i've been ¶
(piano and drums join in)
¶ there's a cry ¶
¶ ooh-ooh ¶
¶ in the distance ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ it's a voice ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ that comes from deep within ¶
¶ there's a cry asking why ¶
¶ ooh, ooh, ooh ¶
¶ i pray the answer's up ahead ¶
¶ ooh, ooh, ooh ¶
¶ 'cause i know
where i've been ¶
¶ there's a road ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ we've been travelin' ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ lost so many ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ on the way ¶
¶ but the riches ¶
¶ oh, but the riches ¶
¶ will be plenty ¶
¶ the riches will be plenty ¶
¶ yeah ¶
¶ worth the risk ¶
¶ worth the risk ¶
¶ and the chances ¶
¶ and the chances ¶
¶ we take ¶
¶ take ¶
¶ there's a dream ¶
¶ there's a dream ¶
¶ in the future ¶
¶ there's a struggle ¶
¶ struggle ¶
¶ that we have yet to win ¶
¶ we have yet to win ¶
¶ use that pride ¶
¶ use that pride ¶
¶ in our hearts ¶
¶ in our hearts ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ to lift us up until tomorrow ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ 'cause just to sit still
would be a sin ¶
¶ i know it, i know it,
i know it, i know it ¶
¶ lord knows ¶
¶ i know... ¶
¶ where i've been... ¶
¶ oh, when we win ¶
¶ i'll give thanks to my god ¶
¶ 'cause i know where i've ¶
¶ been. ¶
¶ yeah, yeah, yeah. ¶
(applause and cheering)
Clint:
I knew you were
full of crap.
Your little "kumbaya" lesson
here cost us two hours
Of valuable rehearsal
time, and you can bet
The booster association
is gonna hear about it.
You know, i started teaching
glee club
Because i care about the arts.
And that means a lot more
than just practicing 24/7
Like militant robots.
It means finding
yourself in the music,
And sometimes it means taking a
week off of sectionals practice
To do something
to make your friend feel good.
At least that's what it meant
when i worked at mckinley.
And i'm not willing
to sacrifice that anymore.
So if you guys want to continue
To be intolerant
troublemakers, go for it,
Because i quit.
You can't do that, will.
I just did,
and it's not because of you.
It's because
unique came to me, and
We spent all week gathering
a transgender choir,
300 voices strong
To make you feel welcomed
and at home.
(horn toots, microphone squeaks)
Attention,
vocal adrenaline members,
I will give you six minutes
to leave campus
Before i unleash my hounds.
Also, i've slashed
all the tires on your bus
So you'll have to walk home.
Perhaps you can use
this march of death opportunity
To consider how awful
you really are.
(dogs barking)
So what are you
gonna do now?
I don't know.
I mean, i guess i have
to eventually find a new job,
But, honestly,
carmel paid so well
That we have enough savings
to last a few months,
So i can figure things out.
(sighs)
I am honestly so proud of
what you guys are doing here.
And if i ever doubted that there
needed to be somebody out there
To balance out the evil
empire of vocal adrenaline,
I am a true believer now.
Well, there is a job.
It doesn't really pay much.
Actually, it doesn't
pay anything at all,
But, well, kurt
and i were wondering
If-if you had the time, or
if you would even consider
Being the special
alumni consultant
For the new directions!?
Did you just make up
that title right now?
Yes, i just made
that up right now.
I absolutely did.
Yeah.
But kurt and i were talking, and
we could really use your help.
Coming up with these
weekly lessons
Is a lot harder
than we thought.
Okay.
Okay, as in,
you'll think about it?
No. Okay, as in,
i would be honored to help.
That's great. (laughs)
But i have, uh,
two conditions.
One-- you guys have to make all
of the major decisions.
And two-- you both have
to start calling me will.
Yes, i can definitely do that.
Kurt:
No. I don't think
I could ever call you
"will." that... No.
(laughs)
I...
Ah. I mean,
You guys are just passing
through this place again,
But i'm beginning to realize
that this is where i belong.
This choir room is who i am.
And i can't wait
to see the look
On sue's face when i tell her.
(laughs)
So, what's the lesson
for next week?
Well, kurt wants to do another
britney 3.0,
But, honestly, there's no more
songs left in her catalog.
There are tons of songs.
Well, no-- do the kids have
any personal problems?
We don't really know.
We don't spend too much
time talking to them.
Well, you should.
Get to know them.
Because one day, they may be the
best friends you've ever had.