Glee (2009–2015): Season 6, Episode 7 - Transitioning - full transcript

Will is struggling to coach the Vocal Adrenaline as they refuse to listen to him. Rachel, being evicted out of her house because her dads finally sold it, is having a hard time. Both the Glee Club and Sue welcomes Sheldon Bieste with open arms and tries their best to make him feel at home after his gender transition.

¶ shot through the heart and you're to blame ¶
¶ darling, you give love a bad name ¶
(bon jovi's "you give love a bad name" playing)
Will: I'm living in a dream.
Besides having an unlimited budget,
Kids recruited from all over the world
For their talent,
A nutritionist, costume designer
And strength and conditioning specialist,
Being the coach of vocal adrenaline
Has a few other perks, like this company car,
My own massage therapist,
And a paycheck so big, we moved into a higher tax bracket.
¶ an angel's smile is what you sell ¶
¶ you promise me heaven ¶
¶ then put me through hell ¶
¶ chains of love ¶
¶ got a hold on me ¶
¶ when passion's a prison ¶
¶ you can't break free, oh ¶
¶ you're a loaded gun ¶
The kids are so committed.
They start practice on their own most days.
I'll admit i do miss
The camaraderie of the new directions!
It's every man for himself here.
¶ you give love ¶
¶ a bad name! ¶ ¶ a bad name! ¶
The alumni support is huge.
Our boosters are incredibly generous.
My wife says this one is the best.
Wow, really this is so unnecessary.
I was always a football guy myself.
But my flaming gay son loves show choir.
Ah. And championships are championships.
So, i'm throwing all my influence
Behind vocal adrenaline.
(both laugh)
And we're all counting
On another win this year, mr. Schuester.
Oh, i think as long as you're happy
And feeling good, we support you.
I mean, you need to just keep being honest with yourself.
The way i see it, i'm playing the long game
In terms of making real changes there.
I can't expect to go in there and alter
Their whole way of doing things.
My dream is to combine the resources
And support of vocal adrenaline
With the heart and inspiration of the new directions!
Well, if anybody can do that, you can.
Ah! What do you say we let him out to play, huh?
What-- here? Oh, my god, no.
He might touch something.
Life is good.
What? (laughs)
(gasps) oh!
Oh, my god! What happened?
Your team vocal adrenaline.
They decided to go with the tradition
Of egging the competition.
(vocal adrenaline yelling)
You suck!
(school bell ringing)
Okay. So, i've heard from my friends
Rachel berry and blaine anderson,
The coaches of the new directions! And the warblers,
That they were egged
By my kids the other day on the way to their cars.
Come on, guys!
I have to put my foot down!
This kind of bullying will not be tolerated!
Hey, i think you're being intolerant
Of our intolerance, will.
It's mr. Schuester.
And don't be such a smart-ass, clint.
This week...
We're gonna be taking turns performing songs
Dealing with the theme of "tolerance."
I will lead by example.
And i've invited a very special guest to join me.
And a vocal adrenaline alumni.
(macklemore and ryan lewis' "same love" begins)
¶ when i was in the third grade, i thought that i was gay ¶
¶ 'cause i could draw, my uncle was ¶
¶ and i kept my room straight ¶
¶ i told my ma, tears rushing down my face ¶
¶ she's like, "will, you loved girls since before pre-k ¶
¶ trippin'," yeah, i guess she had a point, didn't she? ¶
¶ bunch of stereotypes all in my head ¶
¶ i remember doing the math like yeah ¶
¶ i'm good at little league, a preconceived idea ¶
¶ of what it all meant for those that liked ¶
¶ the same sex, had the characteristics ¶
¶ the right wing conservatives think it's a decision ¶
¶ and you can be cured with some treatment and religion ¶
¶ man-made rewiring of a predisposition playing god ¶
¶ yeah, yeah ¶ ¶ aw, nah, here we go ¶
¶ america the brave still fears what we don't know ¶
¶ and god loves all his children is somehow forgotten, but we ¶
¶ paraphrase a book written 3,500 years ago ¶
¶ i don't know ¶
¶ and i can't change even if i tried ¶
¶ even if i wanted to ¶
¶ hey, my love, my love ¶
¶ my love, she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is patient ¶
¶ she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is kind ¶
¶ she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is patient ¶
¶ she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is kind ¶
¶ she keeps me warm ¶
¶ love is patient ¶ ¶ not crying on sundays ¶
¶ love is kind ¶
¶ love is patient ¶ ¶ love is patient ¶
¶ oh, whoa! ¶
¶ love is kind. ¶ ¶ love is kind. ¶
What the hell was that, schuester?
You can't be serious.
Serious as a hangnail, honey.
Shut up, stop rapping
And let us rehearse for sectionals.
We don't care about gay or straight
Or trans or intersects.
We care about winning. No, wait.
This is genius.
If we can get the new directions! Worked up
Into thinking we're intolerant of an entire group of people,
They'll go into will schuester mode.
And dedicate an entire week of practice
To a lesson about tolerance.
This behavior is over.
Yes, you are talented.
No, that does not give you the right
To behave however you want.
Now, like it or not, i am running
This show choir now, and i'm gonna run it how i like.
Man: Well, mckinley, this is it.
It took a long time to get here.
And my heart's racing like a slow pig at a sausage factory.
But i can truly say that today
I'm living the life i always wanted.
I took some time off
To let my outsides catch up with my insides.
But now i'm ready to take this old jalopy for a spin.
Say hello to coach sheldon beiste.
Sue: Coach!
Welcome back! You know, from a distance,
I almost mistook you for an aging
Yet virile james garner.
Oh, thanks, sue. Mm-hmm.
It's-it's good to be back. Coach!
It is so good to have you back and in true form.
Oh, my gosh!
We got so much guy talk to catch up on
That we never even got to do before.
Like, uh, about me and rachel
And then mercedes, i talked to her, we're cool.
You're fine, sam. Just take a breath
So you don't black out on me.
Hey, coach, i want you to know
That i've taken steps
To battle the scourge
Of cisnormativity
Uh-huh. And transmisogyny.
And some other terms i had never heard of
Until i did a quick wikipedia search this morning.
Um, thanks, but i just want things to go
Right on back to normal. Yeah, yeah.
Oh, good 'cause i wro... Had this list of all these pronouns.
I mean, you just tell me which one and i'll enforce it.
There's he, there's sh-he, there's it,
Zhim, ze...
I-i think he and him works fine.
Now, coach, as you know, i've always been
Quite vocal about my opposition
To bullying in any form.
And i want you to know that i am here for you
As a friend, ally
And a shoulder to cry on.
Metaphorically, of course.
Because you're a man now and real men don't cry.
Beiste: I got to say i'm impressed, sue.
I kind of figured someone would say something.
Or gawk at me funny or...
Coach, you will be happy to know
That mckinley high is now
A fully gender-fluid high school.
Wow. All right?
Now, if you'll excuse me, out of the corner
Of my eye i see a fatty
Who could use a good, healthy fat shaming.
Uh, well, you know,
I should probably get going.
Yeah, i got to go meet rachel and, um...
High five!
Yeah, that's some strength, huh?
(school bell ringing)
What's wrong?
Are you still upset about getting egged
And stuff? No, sam, something happened.
Something way worse.
Early this morning, i was fast asleep,
And i was having the most amazing dream
That i was on broadway
And there was all this pudding.
And then i woke up to this pounding!
(banging nearby)
At first i thought it was just a really big woodpecker.
Or maybe a neighbor was installing an in-ground pool.
But then i saw what it was.
My dad sold our house!
Wait, but isn't, isn't that a good thing? You said it's
Been on the market for a while now, and every time they had
An offer, the buyer just backed out last minute.
Yes! That's because i was sabotaging it!
The shower has vintage tile.
Rachel, that's insane.
Sam, it's the only house i've ever known.
It's the house that i grew up in.
And-and i just really, i-i hate the idea
That in a couple of days it's gonna be someone else's.
All right, listen.
As somebody who sometimes didn't have any home at all...
No. Mm-mm!
Mm-mm! No way.
I am not gonna let you guilt me
Into going along with this because you once were homeless!
Okay? I'm sorry, but that has nothing to do with this.
I just... I'm not ready to say good-bye.
And i will be damned if i let my dads go through with this.
(chuckling): Get off.
Hey, guys, hey. Thanks for coming.
Oh, for the love of all that's sacred, what now?
Uh, well, i called you here today because of rachel.
Seriously? I just finished mentoring that girl
For, like, a week-- what could she possibly need now?
Do you want to...? Her dads just sold their house.
She has less than a week to get out.
That house means everything to her.
It's where she grew up.
It's where she saw her dreams become a reality and...
Guys, this is a major moment for her.
Okay? She's becoming a new person.
Making one of the biggest transitions of all.
One that we are all gonna have to make soon.
Okay, just so we're clear,
We're still talking about rachel, right?
Or are you announcing your new gender?
Oh, my god! No! This is all about rachel!
Look, guys, she's growing up.
We all are.
So, what's the plan, sam?
(horn honking)
(kids cheering, whooping)
You wanted to see me? Have a seat, william.
Hey, sheldon. How you doing?
Wait, what's going on?
It's not a big deal.
Sue's just making a big stink over nothing.
America's newest male sheldon beiste
Arrived in our parking lot yesterday
To find his car vandalized
With a horribly
Offensive word.
Oh, my god.
That's terrible.
Sheldon, i'm so sorry.
It's all right.
I knew that there was a possibility
That something like this was gonna happen.
So when it did, i wasn't all that surprised.
I-i'm sorry. Just, um,
You-you said it happened here, so
What does this have to do with me?
Newly boobless,
Would you like to tell him or shall i?
They wore carmel colors, will.
They were from vocal adrenaline.
They were your kids.
Are you serious?
No one goes after one
Of my friends and gets away with it.
Except for me. I always go after your friends,
And i've never not gotten away with it.
(school bell ringing) i'm sorry.
Okay, you guys, let's get started on this week's lesson.
It is called buckeye bull's-eye,
Featuring all artists from ohio!
Marilyn manson and dean martin...
Actually, rachel, there has been a slight change in plans.
Kurt, you can't just change the lesson like that.
Well, sometimes life throws you a curveball,
And you just got to embrace it.
That's why
This week's lesson is...
Charging forward.
Rachel, it's come to our attention
That you're having
Some challenges with saying good-bye
To your childhood home.
Which is forcing you to say good-bye
To your childhood and fully accept adulthood.
Or at least that's according to the very nice lady
At the lima mental health clinic.
Sam: So to help rachel with this new transition,
We are throwing her a "farewell to rachel's house" party,
And everyone's invited. It's going to be friday night in rachel's basement.
You guys, this is very unnecessary but very sweet.
Madison: Wait, so this lesson isn't
For us? It's for rachel?
Yeah, so shut up. Fetch me my wheel!
Thank you. Welcome to wheel of musical fortune!
(applause) thank you. Thank you.
Everyone spins, and whoever's name you land on,
You have to sing a duet with them at the party.
All except for me. 'cause i told you i want to sing with rachel.
I don't want to chance it. Fine. Whatever.
Can't we just pick names out of a hat?
Shh. Okay, i'll go first.
Luck be a lady tonight!
Which-which one?
Uh, me. I'm-i'm roderick.
No, this is gonna be great. You're great.
Okay, my turn!
Oh. Huh.
Well, i thought for sure
That wheel was gonna land on artie's name.
Yeah, what are the odds?
Uh, ten to one. Not that high.
But you're totally cool with singing with me, right?
I-i understand if not.
Yeah, no, i really want to.
It's-it's just...
If you see dave,
Just don't bring it up, okay?
Oh, come on. It's just a song.
He can't be jealous from that.
I know, but i think that he thinks that there's...
Still something between us.
Which there...
Obviously isn't.
Anyway, i'll call you. We'll figure out what we're doing.
We can do something up-tempo.
Or-or slow. It doesn't matter.
I'm versatile.
Okay. Cool.
All right. I'll call you. Okay.
(school bell ringing)
Who was it? I just heard. I want names.
Which one of those vocal adrenaline bastards did it?
What the fall leaves are you talking about, pumpkin? Your car,
The vandalism. Which one of those rock lobsters was it?
It doesn't matter. We're gonna kill those guys, coach.
No, you're not gonna kill anybody. You boys sit down.
Sit down!
I don't want you guys doing anything about this,
You hear me? It's been handled.
It's real sweet that you guys care,
But hurting him isn't gonna fix anything.
It'll teach them not to mess with any of us
Or we'll destroy them.
(sighs) i've been dealing with ignorant people
Who couldn't understand me my whole life.
But you know what? I couldn't be happier with myself.
How many people get to say that? And, spencer,
I'm glad to hear you say that you're one of us.
That's all i've ever wanted to hear
From you, is that you're more than just a star player
But that you're really part of this team.
And, sam, you did that.
You united us.
You're a hell of a coach and a friend.
And if one good thing can come out of this whole mess,
Well, then they gave us the best freaking gift
In the whole world.
Coach, look, i'm sorry.
I didn't... I didn't mean to disappoint you.
I just...
I can't stand to see my friends get hurt.
I know that, sam.
And you did not disappoint me.
In fact, i couldn't be prouder.
You boys get back to practice.
This is completely unacceptable.
I can handle insubordination,
But this, this isn't about me.
This is about teaching you to act like human beings.
It's about knowing that your-your common decency
And integrity are-are more important
Than winning show choir competitions.
Which perfectly sums up your teaching style, schuester.
You think all of us didn't know you were too soft for this job?
You have a loser mentality.
You know who didn't give a crap about being kind?
Lewis and clark. George patton. Paul anka.
I don't want to be decent or liked. I want to be a champion.
And this is how it's done.
The fact is
Vocal adrenaline is the last
Of a great dying breed of communities
That is willing to risk being called bad guys
And accept the hard truth,
Which is that every person on the planet knows
Winning is everything.
(cheering) we will win nationals,
But we'll win it the right way. When will you just accept
That you don't belong here,
That none of us like you,
That we make fun of your vests
And your pep talks behind your back?
You're a joke. Yeah, well, the joke's on you, clint.
You're off the team. (scoffs)
You can't kick me off the team.
I am the team!
Get out.
Everybody warm up.
(grunts) hey, come to bed, will. Oh.
Maybe just have a shower first because you're touching
That wheel that touched the ground.
You would think a stroller that costs as much
As a mortgage payment would not break a week after you got it.
You're talking in your angry man voice.
I'm sorry.
It's just... (sighs)
I'm stuck.
I really don't like my job.
I don't like the people or the environment, and it's not gonna change
Because they don't think there's anything wrong.
I kicked that kid off the team today,
But i know that's not the end of it.
Those boosters are gonna come after me.
Okay, well, look, i don't need any of this stuff.
It's not like we'd have to go on food stamps
If you quit and found another job.
I know some teachers who are. (sighs)
And we've talked about this, emma. There are no other jobs.
Not ones where i can coach show choir.
(sighs) you know what the worst part is?
I love all this extra stuff.
I love my fancy car and fancy stroller
And fancy football tickets.
Maybe that makes me shallow and immature, but...
All this extra stuff makes me feel like more of a man.
And i hate myself for loving it so much
That i would stay working at a place
That stands for everything i stand against.
Okay. So we'll manage.
You know? You'll find another job.
My pamphlet of the month club is starting
To bring in some extra cash.
A year ago, i would have.
(scoffs) you can be principled
When you don't have kids to feed and clothe.
Well, i think when you have kids
Is when it's most important to be principled.
He's gonna be watching you, will.
(sighs) kids see everything.
You can't hide anything from them.
I mean, when you buy him something,
He's gonna see your pride and your shame.
He's gonna know when you traded your integrity
For comfort and safety.
Look, i'm not saying that you have to quit your job.
I understand the realities of that. I do.
But i am saying...
You need to make a peace with whatever choice you do make.
(whirring) (indistinct chatter)
Snuck a little something extra in there for you, kurt.
Artie: Hello, everyone. Welcome and thank you for coming
To a "final farewell to rachel's childhood home" party!
(cheering and applause)
¶ because you know i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, no treble ¶ ¶ no treble ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, no treble ¶ ¶ no treble ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass ¶
¶ no treble ¶ ¶ no treble ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass ¶
¶ bass, bass, bass, bass ¶
¶ yeah, it's pretty clear ¶
¶ i ain't no size two, but i can shake it, shake it ¶
¶ like i'm supposed to do, 'cause i got that ¶
¶ boom boom that all the boys chase ¶
¶ and all the right junk in all the right places ¶
¶ i see the magazines working that photoshop ¶ ¶ uh-huh, uh-huh ¶
¶ we know that this ain't real ¶
¶ come on now, make it stop ¶ ¶ make it stop ¶
¶ if you got beauty, beauty, just raise 'em up ¶
¶ 'cause every inch of you is perfect ¶
¶ from the bottom to the top ¶
¶ yeah, my mama, she told me ¶
¶ don't worry about your size ¶ ¶ size ¶
¶ she says boys like a little ¶
¶ more booty to hold at night ¶
¶ that booty, booty, oh, that booty, booty ¶ ¶ you know i won't ¶
¶ be no stick-figure, silicone barbie doll ¶ ¶ silicone barbie doll ¶
¶ oh ¶ ¶ so if that's what's you're into ¶
¶ then go ahead and move along ¶
¶ yeah ¶ ¶ because you know i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, no treble ¶ ¶ oh... ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble ¶ ¶ you know ¶
¶ you know, you know, ooh ¶ ¶ i'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass ¶
¶ you know i'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass ¶
¶ no treble ¶ ¶ i said i'm all about that bass ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, ooh, i'm all about that bass ¶ ¶ no treble ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, i said i'm all about that bass ¶ ¶ no treble ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, i said i'm all about that bass ¶ ¶ no treble ¶
¶ 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass ¶
¶ la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la ¶
¶ i know you like this bass ¶ ¶ ooh ¶
¶ oh ¶ ¶ don't you know ¶
¶ i'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass. ¶
(cheering and applause)
(music playing in distance)
The rachel berry childhood bedroom.
Is it weird to think that someday this room's
Gonna be re-created in some broadway museum?
Hopefully with animatronic robots.
You said you wouldn't make fun of it.
Sam: Oh, man, is that from rocky horror?
Do you remember when i had to wear those tight gold shorts?
I think everyone remembers that.
You can't do it, can you?
I mean,
Almost everything else is boxed up, but
You haven't even touched this wall.
All my best memories from high school are on that wall.
My whole childhood i just spent in this room
Singing and dreaming, all alone
With pictures of barbra streisand
And patti lupone and bernadette peters.
But then i met you guys and suddenly
The wall started to fill up with real friends
And real dreams.
I don't know. Everything's just so clear in high school
And i'm supposed to just pack it all up now?
We're gonna need a bigger wall.
Mm... Star wars.
It's... It's jaws.
Oh. Geez, what were you, raised by monks?
Come here.
The wall doesn't go away.
The wall just gets... Bigger.
And higher
And plastered in dreams.
You're going to get that part.
And you're going back to new york.
And you're taking that wall with you.
And if i'm real lucky, then
I'll always be on it somewhere,
Wearing incredibly tight,
Sparkly gold shorts.
Whoa! (whooping) yeah. Thank you. Good job.
Just when you thought we couldn't get any more
Warmth and love in a basement,
It's time to bring out
Your two favorite gays,
Kurt hummel and
Blaine anderson. (whooping)
(betty who's "somebody loves you" begins)
¶ who's around when the days ¶
¶ feel long ¶
¶ who's around when you can't ¶
¶ be strong ¶
¶ who's around when you're ¶
¶ losing your mind ¶
¶ hey ¶
¶ who cares that you get home safe ¶
¶ who knows you can't ¶
¶ be replaced ¶
¶ who thinks that you're one ¶
¶ of a kind ¶
¶ oh ¶
¶ yeah ¶
¶ somebody misses you ¶
¶ when you're away ¶
¶ they wanna wake up ¶
¶ with you every day ¶
¶ somebody wants to hear you say ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ why don't you come on over ¶
¶ why don't you lay me down ¶
¶ lay me down ¶
¶ does the pain ¶
¶ feel better ¶
¶ when i'm around ¶
¶ if i am good to you ¶
¶ won't you be good to me ¶ ¶ good to me ¶
¶ that's how easy ¶
¶ this should be... ¶
¶ somebody misses you ¶
¶ when you're away ¶ ¶ somebody misses you, baby ¶
¶ they wanna wake up with you every day ¶ ¶ they wanna ¶
¶ wake up with you ¶ ¶ somebody wants ¶
¶ to hear you say ¶ ¶ oh, they ¶
¶ want you to say ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you ¶
¶ ooh, somebody loves you. ¶
Are you sure you have to go?
Doesn't sound like we're done in there.
I-i wish i could, but dave and i--
We have to wake up at 5:00 a.M. Sharp
For the intramural football game in bowling green.
Well, anyway, i had a lot of fun singing with you tonight.
I thought we sounded pretty good. I thought we sounded incredible.
We haven't sounded that good since the very first duet
That we did. Do you remember what it was? No, i'm blanking.
I'm kidding, of course i do.
It was "baby, it's cold outside."
The entire time we were singing, i just wanted
To turn off that damn boom box
And confess my undying love for you
And give you the world's most passionate kiss.
Oh, yeah? Well, why didn't you?
I wasn't sure if you felt the same way.
And you didn't.
Remember that guy you had a crush on? The assistant manager
To the gap? The... What was his name? Um, uh, jonathan,
Or, uh, jebediah? Jer-jeremiah.
Yeah, whatever happened to him?
I have no clue.
Mm. It's funny how someone could mean
So much to you at one point in time, and then
A few years go by and...
(cyndi lauper's "time after time" begins)
¶ lying in my bed i hear the ¶
¶ clock tick and think of you ¶
¶ caught up in circles ¶
¶ confusion ¶
¶ is nothing new ¶
¶ flashback warm nights ¶
¶ almost left behind ¶
¶ suitcase of memories ¶
¶ time after ¶
¶ sometimes you picture me ¶
¶ i'm walking ¶
¶ too far ahead ¶
¶ you're calling to me ¶
¶ i can't hear what you've said ¶
¶ then you say go slow ¶
¶ i fall behind ¶
¶ the second hand unwinds ¶
¶ if you're lost ¶
¶ you can look and you will find me ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ if you fall i will catch you ¶
¶ i'll be waiting ¶ ¶ i will be waiting ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ you said go slow ¶
¶ i fall behind ¶
¶ the second hand unwinds ¶
¶ if you're lost you can look ¶
¶ and you will find me ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ if you fall i will catch you ¶
¶ i'll be waiting ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ if you're lost you can look ¶
¶ and you will find me ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ if you fall i will catch you ¶
¶ i will be waiting ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ time after time ¶
¶ time after time. ¶
(footsteps approaching)
As i live and breathe.
(laughs): Unique. Oh, girl.
How come you didn't call me? I had to find out
My trans-gossip from will schuester.
You're right. I should have called.
I just didn't know what to say to people.
You know? It's all been a bit overwhelming.
Being back at mckinley or the surgery?
About being myself, you know?
Trying to fit in.
You know, i did this
Because i needed to follow how i felt inside.
And i finally feel so normal inside.
(sighs) but...
Nobody's treating me like i am normal.
That's because you're not normal. You're special.
And not because of some surgery, but
Because you're brave enough to go out
And get something when you want it.
I don't want to always
Be special, though. Does that make sense?
I just want to be one of the guys.
But there's no one else like me here.
You know, people either fawn over me
Or they hate me because they don't understand me.
Can i ask you something?
Did it hurt? (soft laugh) are you joking?
Like a bucket of hammers being dumped on my chest.
But the weird thing-- it felt like
They never should have been there in the first place.
Do you have any regrets?
Not for a second.
That feeling of relief i have now
Of finally being who i've always wanted to be--
It's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
I just...
I wish sometimes i wasn't going through it all alone.
You're not alone.
Hey, mr. Schuester,
I'm not sure if you heard, but when jimbo wilson
Found out that you kicked me off the team, he threw a tizzy
And told principal gunderson to reinstate me.
If you have a problem with that--
And i hope you do--
Jimbo says to call him personally.
I don't have a problem with that.
He's right. And i was wrong.
You are this team. You represent
Everything this place stands for,
And i have put my personal beliefs
Ahead of the reality of what vocal adrenaline is.
To be honest,
I was thinking about quitting.
But then i realized i still may be able
To teach you guys a thing or two.
That said, you certainly
Have found the formula to winning.
Who am i to try to change that?
So as long as i'm coaching here,
We win the v.A. Way.
Yeah! Yeah!
That's what i'm talking about.
And to prove to you guys that i'm serious,
I have come up with a prank to end all pranks.
Bring it in. Tonight,
We sneak into mckinley high,
And i will show you all that nobody understands
Psychological warfare better than william schuester.
All: Yeah! (whooping)
You know, i told them if they put that clumsy, fat-ass craig
On defense we'd blow the game, and what do they do?
They put that clumsy, fat-ass craig
On defense, right? It's unbelievable.
Okay. What?
Oh, what's what?
Whatever it is that you've been staring
Into space over for days.
I mean, you've said, like, two words.
Something happened that night at rachel's party, didn't it?
I sang a duet with kurt.
It was rachel's idea, okay?
It was, uh... It was a silly glee club thing.
I don't even know why i haven't told you about it.
Why would i be upset that you sang a duet with kurt?
You guys don't stop singing. That's not it.
Oh, man.
Just tell me one thing.
Did he kiss you, or did you kiss him?
I knew it.
Well... Guess i was lucky enough
To get a couple months in with you, huh?
What does that mean?
It means you still love him.
You never stopped.
Ever since kurt came back to lima,
There's been this ticking clock hanging over us.
Time's up.
I'm sorry, dave. I-i didn't mean to...
It's okay. It's okay. I know.
No hard feelings, okay?
And you know that clumsy, fat-ass craig?
He tried to slip me his number at the game.
Look, there's a whole world
Of guys out there waiting to be my rebound.
It's okay. Go. Tell kurt.
Uh, just do me a favor?
Don't sing it.
Just say it.
¶ ¶
Oh. Hi, blaine.
Uh, we were just leaving.
Oh, walter, this is blaine.
Ah. Of course.
(chuckles) the blaine.
Always nice to put a face to the name.
Ooh. Neat bowtie.
I'm sorry. Were you looking for me?
No. Uh, i was just looking for rachel.
I-i wanted to tell her something.
Oh, hey, blaine.
Did you want to ask me something?
Uh, wh-where's everybody going?
Oh, we're going on a double date.
Walter and i have a shared love for musical flops.
Oh, yeah. And walter and i had this mutual love
For the delicious chicken parm dipping balls
They got at breadstix.
Oh, my gosh, they're so delicious.
Well, next time, maybe you can bring karofsky,
And we'll triple-date it.
Oh, hey, did you want to ask me something?
You know what? I forgot.
Okay, here's my plan. We're gonna go backstage
Where i've left two boxes of k-y jelly tubes.
All right? Everyone grab a tube
And squirt out every last drop onto the stage floor.
All right, everyone, huddle up.
We're gonna watch
Those fools literally fall on their faces.
(lights clack on)
Unique: ¶ there's a light ¶
¶ in the darkness ¶
¶ though the night ¶
¶ is black as my skin ¶
¶ there's a light burning bright ¶
¶ showing me the way ¶
¶ but i know where i've been ¶
(piano and drums join in)
¶ there's a cry ¶
¶ ooh-ooh ¶
¶ in the distance ¶ ¶ ooh ¶
¶ it's a voice ¶ ¶ ooh ¶
¶ that comes from deep within ¶
¶ there's a cry asking why ¶ ¶ ooh, ooh, ooh ¶
¶ i pray the answer's up ahead ¶ ¶ ooh, ooh, ooh ¶
¶ 'cause i know where i've been ¶
¶ there's a road ¶ ¶ ooh ¶
¶ we've been travelin' ¶ ¶ ooh ¶
¶ lost so many ¶ ¶ ooh ¶
¶ on the way ¶
¶ but the riches ¶
¶ oh, but the riches ¶
¶ will be plenty ¶
¶ the riches will be plenty ¶
¶ yeah ¶ ¶ worth the risk ¶
¶ worth the risk ¶ ¶ and the chances ¶
¶ and the chances ¶ ¶ we take ¶
¶ take ¶
¶ there's a dream ¶ ¶ there's a dream ¶
¶ in the future ¶
¶ there's a struggle ¶
¶ struggle ¶ ¶ that we have yet to win ¶
¶ we have yet to win ¶
¶ use that pride ¶ ¶ use that pride ¶
¶ in our hearts ¶ ¶ in our hearts ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh ¶ ¶ to lift us up until tomorrow ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh ¶ ¶ 'cause just to sit still would be a sin ¶
¶ i know it, i know it, i know it, i know it ¶
¶ lord knows ¶
¶ i know... ¶
¶ where i've been... ¶
¶ oh, when we win ¶
¶ i'll give thanks to my god ¶
¶ 'cause i know where i've ¶
¶ been. ¶ ¶ yeah, yeah, yeah. ¶
(applause and cheering)
Clint: I knew you were full of crap.
Your little "kumbaya" lesson here cost us two hours
Of valuable rehearsal time, and you can bet
The booster association is gonna hear about it.
You know, i started teaching glee club
Because i care about the arts.
And that means a lot more than just practicing 24/7
Like militant robots.
It means finding yourself in the music,
And sometimes it means taking a week off of sectionals practice
To do something to make your friend feel good.
At least that's what it meant when i worked at mckinley.
And i'm not willing to sacrifice that anymore.
So if you guys want to continue
To be intolerant troublemakers, go for it,
Because i quit.
You can't do that, will.
I just did, and it's not because of you.
It's because unique came to me, and
We spent all week gathering a transgender choir,
300 voices strong
To make you feel welcomed and at home.
(horn toots, microphone squeaks)
Attention, vocal adrenaline members,
I will give you six minutes to leave campus
Before i unleash my hounds.
Also, i've slashed all the tires on your bus
So you'll have to walk home.
Perhaps you can use this march of death opportunity
To consider how awful you really are.
(dogs barking)
So what are you gonna do now?
I don't know.
I mean, i guess i have to eventually find a new job,
But, honestly, carmel paid so well
That we have enough savings to last a few months,
So i can figure things out.
I am honestly so proud of what you guys are doing here.
And if i ever doubted that there needed to be somebody out there
To balance out the evil empire of vocal adrenaline,
I am a true believer now.
Well, there is a job.
It doesn't really pay much.
Actually, it doesn't pay anything at all,
But, well, kurt and i were wondering
If-if you had the time, or if you would even consider
Being the special alumni consultant
For the new directions!?
Did you just make up that title right now?
Yes, i just made that up right now.
I absolutely did. Yeah.
But kurt and i were talking, and we could really use your help.
Coming up with these weekly lessons
Is a lot harder than we thought.
Okay, as in, you'll think about it?
No. Okay, as in, i would be honored to help.
That's great. (laughs)
But i have, uh, two conditions.
One-- you guys have to make all of the major decisions.
And two-- you both have to start calling me will.
Yes, i can definitely do that.
Kurt: No. I don't think
I could ever call you "will." that... No. (laughs)
I... Ah. I mean,
You guys are just passing through this place again,
But i'm beginning to realize that this is where i belong.
This choir room is who i am.
And i can't wait to see the look
On sue's face when i tell her. (laughs)
So, what's the lesson for next week?
Well, kurt wants to do another britney 3.0,
But, honestly, there's no more songs left in her catalog.
There are tons of songs. Well, no-- do the kids have any personal problems?
We don't really know.
We don't spend too much time talking to them.
Well, you should. Get to know them.
Because one day, they may be the best friends you've ever had.