Glee (2009–2015): Season 6, Episode 1 - Loser Like Me - full transcript

After a failed attempt to make it as an actress, Rachel comes to Lima, only to find out that the arts are completely vanished from McKinley. Now she finds herself in the position of taking ...

Nancy: Oh, look.
Rachel berry was great on broadway
And maybe she can work on tv,
But the show and her performance
Is the kind of thing that ends careers,
Not starts them.
I said i only wanted to hear the good ones.
Well, that was a good one.
It says maybe you can work in tv.
Rachel, it's lee.
Oh, i'm sorry.
Nancy: Hi. I've met you before. Nancy.
Hi. Yes. You know, um...
I'm a publicist. Oh...
And, uh, give me a buzz, okay?
Okay. Well, thank you for this. Rachel.
Lee: Congratulations on that baby.
Yeah.
(sighs)
Rachel, i have some bad news.
I have been fired.
Apparently, i was right
That people want to see live tv shows...
Just not this one.
I think we are the first show
In history to get a zero share.
Well, do you think that if we can get more people
To watch the second episode...
If we were to do another episode,
There would be protestors from unicef,
The adl, the naacp,
Peta... I mean, my blackberry
Is buzzing with angry e-mails from nambla.
I think that you actually found a way
To offend every special interest group
In this country.
And i don't want to point fingers, but i have to.
At you, because you're the face of it.
Okay?
I don't know what i'm gonna do.
I've got two families to feed.
Actually, i do know what i'm gonna do.
I'm just gonna end up running another network.
Mr. Paulblatt, i'm... I'm so sorry.
I... I can't imagine how you feel.
Oh, well, you should, be...
Because you're also fired.
That's so rachel has been canceled.
Oh, my...
(laughs): I'm not the only one going down with this ship.
No. I mean, unlike me,
I would highly doubt that you ever work in television again.
That's so rude. I shouldn't have said that.
Not "highly doubt." i'd be surprised.
Not "surprised." floored.
Wh... I'm...
What-what am i supposed to do?
Do what everyone who just failed miserably does:
Blame everyone else.
And then go home.
I don't even know where that is anymore.
(alanis morissette's "uninvited" begins)
¶ like anyone would be ¶
¶ i am flattered by your ¶
¶ fascination with me ¶
¶ like any hot-blooded woman ¶
¶ i have simply ¶
¶ wanted an object to crave ¶
¶ but you ¶
¶ you're not allowed ¶
¶ you're uninvited ¶
¶ an unfortunate slight ¶
¶ like any uncharted territory ¶
¶ i must seem greatly intriguing ¶
¶ and you ¶
¶ you speak of my love like ¶
¶ you have experienced ¶
¶ love like mine before ¶
¶ but this is not allowed ¶
¶ you're uninvited ¶
¶ an unfortunate ¶
¶ slight ¶
¶ oh ¶
¶ oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶
¶ i don't think you unworthy ¶
¶ i need a moment ¶
¶ to deliberate. ¶
(panting)
Leroy: Baby.
(chuckles)
Oh, thank god.
What's going on? Where's dad?
Sweetie...
Dad and i are getting divorced.
What?
N... No.
No, this isn't happening.
Oh, my god, i feel like i died and now i'm in hell.
It's been bad for a long time.
We agreed to wait to tell you
Until you came out of seclusion.
You had enough on your plate.
I'll tell you more over dinner.
I, um...
I don't know how long i'm gonna be staying.
Is that all right?
You can stay with me as long as you want.
But we put the house on the market
A couple weeks ago.
They say you have to lose everything...
Before you can really find yourself.
Rachel: One soy latte, please.
Oh, my god,
It's william mckinley's own rachel berry!
Oh, no, my god. No, please. No. Shh.
You can't hide from me.
I work here now, since sue cut my janitor's wages.
Oh, this soy latte's on me, rachel berry.
Thank you so much. May i please have my card back?
No matter how bad things have been for me,
But your humiliation makes me see
That things can always get worse.
That's terrible. Gratitude.
Great. Well, might as well just take all this off now.
What was that? You know,
It's just the story of my life.
All i've ever wanted is to come home
And have everyone know my name,
And now they do, but only because
I was involved in the worst television show in history.
No one has heard from you in months.
Well, that's because i went into hiding.
Yeah.
But you know, i'm good now.
I'm good, and...
I'm getting my life back together and...
And everything is good.
Well, i'm gonna help you figure this out.
Thanks.
I just...
I don't understand. Why are you back?
Are you visiting family? Where's kurt?
Uh... Wow, you really have been in hiding.
Uh...
Rach, kurt and i broke up.
What?
Yeah, it got pretty rough
After everyone left and it was just
Him and me alone in the loft.
I guess we're "too young."
Everybody says this is exactly what happens
To high school relationships
After the first year of college, but i...
I thought we were different.
I'm really sorry.
I got super depressed
After we broke up, and, uh...
My schoolwork sort of started to slip
And i got cut from nyada.
What?
Uh... When are you gonna go back to new york?
I think i'm gonna take a little break.
I wanted to be home, too.
Yeah.
I moved in back with my parents.
And i-i got a job. At dalton.
I am the new coach for the warblers.
But you don't... You don't need a college degree for that?
Well, i'm not a real teacher,
But the faculty advisor got ebola or something,
So the timing was perfect.
You know what?
I think we need to make a promise to each other.
I think that, from here on out,
It's you and me, together,
And we are gonna turn these lemons into lemonade.
Okay?
All right.
("suddenly seymour" begins)
¶ lift up your head ¶
¶ wash off your mascara ¶
¶ here, take my kleenex ¶
¶ wipe that lipstick away ¶
¶ show me your face ¶
¶ clean as the morning ¶
¶ i know things were bad ¶
¶ but now they're okay ¶
¶ suddenly seymour ¶
¶ is standing beside you ¶
¶ you don't need no makeup ¶
¶ don't have to pretend ¶
¶ suddenly seymour ¶
¶ is here to provide you ¶
¶ sweet understanding ¶
¶ seymour's your friend ¶ ¶ nobody ever ¶
¶ treated me kindly ¶
¶ daddy left early ¶
¶ and mama was poor ¶
¶ i'd meet a man ¶
¶ and i'd follow him blindly ¶
¶ he's snap his fingers ¶
¶ and me, i'd say sure ¶
¶ suddenly seymour ¶
¶ suddenly seymour ¶
¶ he purified me ¶
¶ oh-oh-oh-oh-oh ¶
¶ yes, suddenly seymour ¶
¶ suddenly seymour ¶
¶ he showed me i can ¶
¶ showed me i can ¶
¶ learn how to be more ¶
¶ the girl that's inside me ¶
¶ with sweet understanding ¶
¶ sweet understanding ¶
¶ with sweet understanding ¶
¶ sweet understanding ¶
¶ with sweet understanding ¶ ¶ understanding ¶
¶ seymour's your ¶
¶ man... ¶
(carrying note)
(applause)
Sue: America...
Ohio's winningest cheerleading coach is now
Ohio's winningest principal.
Test scores are up,
Body mass indexes are down.
How'd i do it?
(barking)
The sue sylvester three-point plan.
One: A complete dietary overhaul.
Protein shakes and raw kale.
What am i supposed to do with saltpeter?
Well, if you sprinkle it on your kale,
Keep your sex drive down.
Bon appétit.
Sue sylvester is triumphant.
Number two:
Mandatory random weigh-ins and body shaming.
(buzzer blaring) uh-uh.
Step up.
Into the pigpen.
Three: Occasionally releasing hounds.
(barking)
(students screaming)
My crowning achievement?
Getting rid of that glee club.
Making sure that every last one
Of those sitter-diddled transvestites
Were forcibly transferred to other schools
And converting this place into the beehive of learning
It is today.
Heck, i even got william that job at carmel high
To assure myself nothing but blissful night's sleeps.
Look at this place.
I'm helping to create
The next great innovators in this country.
You know why america's falling behind?
Because every kid thinks they should be a rap mogul
Or a movie star.
Yes, young man whose name i will never care to know,
If there's one thing i am most proud of,
It's the fact that i have proven, once and for all,
Young minds do not need the humanities...
Or the arts.
(chuckles)
Kurt: I'll admit it.
It's been a rough few months.
But all things considered, i'm feeling okay.
Year three of nyada is about to start,
And that means work-study program.
In year three, all students are required
To go out into the world and hone their craft
As pseudo-professionals.
We're encouraged to be creative,
Get out of new york, shake things up.
I'm lucky because i've already secured my internship
At the lexington retirement home,
Where i will spend a year directing a stage production
Of the real housewives that i wrote myself.
All right.
And speaking of shaking things up,
Since i broke up with blaine,
I haven't been seeing anyone out of respect to him,
But i finally decided to take the plunge.
I got on tindr, and i signed up
For an afternoon of speed dating. (dings)
Hi, i'm rich. (dings)
I'm barry. My name's john.
Kurt. (dings)
I do pirate reenactments and i'm also a psychic.
(dings) i am an accountant by day,
And by night, i am also an accountant.
To pay the rent, i work at a mediterranean-themed
Vegan restaurant for pets.
I'm getting something. I sense that
You just broke up with someone.
That-that's amazing.
Uh, i-i did.
I-i was actually engaged. Uh, he asked me.
I-i feel like that's important for people to know,
But i'm the one who called it off.
Yeah, he-he's a great guy, and if i learned...
Wait, you haven't dated since you broke up, have you?
Wow, you are psychic.
I don't need to be a psychic to tell
That you're not over this dude.
We're going up against mr. Shue at sectionals,
So i could really use whatever notes you have
On how the warblers are doing.
You really don't want my notes.
I won the gold star at the loser olympics.
You can flame out as spectacularly as you want on tv,
But you're still rachel berry,
And rachel berry is a show choir genius.
(vocalizing intro to ed sheeran's "sing")
¶ bow ¶
(beatboxing) ¶ bah, dah ¶
¶ it's late in the evening ¶
¶ glass on the side ¶
¶ i've been sat with you ¶
¶ for most of the night ¶
¶ ignoring everybody here ¶
¶ we wish they would disappear ¶
¶ so maybe we could get down now ¶
¶ duh, duh, duh, duh, duh ¶
¶ i don't want to know ¶
¶ if you're getting ahead of the program ¶
¶ i want you to be mine, lady ¶
¶ to hold your body close ¶
¶ take another step into the no-man's-land ¶
¶ for the longest time, lady ¶
¶ i need you, darling ¶
¶ come on, set the tone ¶
¶ if you feel you're falling ¶
¶ won't you let me know ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ duh, duh, duh, duh, duh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ duh, duh, duh, duh, duh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ if you love me ¶
¶ come on, get involved ¶
¶ feel it rushing through you ¶
¶ from your head to toe ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ duh, duh, duh, duh, duh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ duh, duh, duh, duh, duh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶ ¶ sing ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ can you feel it? ¶
¶ all they guys in here don't even want to dance ¶
¶ can you feel it? ¶
¶ all that i can hear ¶
¶ is music from the back ¶
¶ can you feel it? ¶ ¶ found you hiding here ¶
¶ so won't you take my hand, darling? ¶
¶ before the beat kicks in again ¶
¶ can you feel it? ¶
¶ ooh ¶
¶ oh-oh ¶
¶ can you feel it? ¶
¶ no, no, no, no ¶
¶ oh, no ¶
¶ if you love me, come on, get involved ¶
¶ feel it rushing through you ¶
¶ from your head to toe ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶
¶ oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ¶ ¶ sing! ¶
(laughs): Oh, my god.
(exhales) so, um, any thoughts?
Oh, my gosh, well, i have three.
First of all, that was incredible.
Second of all, you're way past the maximum age
To be dancing and singing with these guys.
(laughter)
And third, thank you.
That was the first time i've laughed
And smiled in a really long time.
Of course.
(whistle blows) come on, let's go!
My grandma's got one leg,
And she can run faster than that! Go!
(whistle blowing)
I need water. Get it yourself.
Could you stop being such a whiny hummel
And get back in there?
Um, excuse me, i haven't been out of this school
For that long, but when i was here,
We worked really hard to make sure bullies like you
Don't use words like that.
Rachel, no, it's cool.
Spencer is totally gay.
Kind of a post-modern gay teen.
You see, positive representations of gays
In the mass media has given me the confidence
I need to be myself,
Which, turns out, is kind of an arrogant jerk.
Oh, and your show sucked.
(gasps) isn't he a sweetheart?
You're gonna let him disrespect you like that?
Look, like i said, rachel, okay, i'm the assistant coach, okay?
I can't yell at them like coach beiste.
Come on! If salmon had legs,
We'd have it for dinner, not breakfast!
Okay, these guys are really good.
Yeah, they are.
Yeah, sue, uh, spent the offseason
Recruiting players from all over the state.
She actually bought a, uh, apartment complex
And moved all the families into.
I think it's legal.
What about the arts?
What about music and painting? I mean, it's not right.
What about the kids that don't play sports?
Look, rachel, i agree with you, okay?
If you have a problem, just take it up with sue.
(sighs)
Can i help you?
I'm here to speak with sue sylvester.
Sue: It's okay, janet.
Let her in.
Janet is part of the free labor arrangement
I have with the ohio department of corrections.
She's a convicted counterfeiter.
But don't worry, she's chained to the desk.
Congratulations, btw.
The, uh, humiliating public nature
Of your epic flame out exceeded my expectations
In a major way.
Look, i'm not here to talk about me.
I'm here to talk about the glee club.
Well, there is no glee club.
In fact, i exterminated
All the arts programs at this school.
You can't deprive these kids an education
In music and theater.
Oh, i can and i did.
And it is about you, rachel.
You were the very best the arts had to offer.
Which means the arts, clearly,
Don't have much to offer, now do they?
There is no glee club at this school.
There will never be a glee club at this school
As long as i'm in charge.
Now get the hell out of my office
Before i sic a convicted felon on you.
I've been watching her out of the corner of my eye
For the last few minutes.
I'm pretty sure she's fashioning a shiv.
(school bell ringing)
You want to order?
Uh, no, i'll wait.
Uh, hot date.
(thunder rumbling)
Hi. Sorry.
I know i'm a little late, but it's really coming down,
And i also had to stop by the mercer kitchen
Just to check on something.
You're never gonna guess.
So, it turns out that they are totally available
On labor day for our wedding.
(panting)
Why am i always the first one to arrive?
Um, did you not hear what i just said?
They're available for the wedding on labor day.
Okay, let's-let's just order. I'm starving.
I don't want to fight about this,
But i really feel like the whole wedding planning thing,
It's just all falling on me.
What's the matter?
Tell me. Are...
Are you having second thoughts?
Have you noticed how exhausting it's been
Ever since you moved back in?
The other day,
We got into a three-hour fight
Because i used a towel to wipe off my mouth
While there was still toothpaste on my face.
Well, how is someone else supposed
To use it when you leave it like that?
Living together is supposed to be a trial run,
And i got to tell you, i think we are failing it.
Thank you for finally saying something truthful.
Where's that guy been?
Huh? Where have you been?
You've been completely aloof
And totally remote and distant.
It's like i don't even know you anymore.
I feel like you're just silently judging me.
What do you even want anymore?
Do you even want this wedding?
Do you even want to marry me?
Maybe i don't!
What changed?
Was it something that i did?
Because...
Because you know...
I love you. I love you so much.
And i-i know that we can make this work.
I love you, too.
But w-we're kids.
Look.
We had a great run, but let's... Just call it quits
Before we completely hate each other.
I will never forgive you for this.
Man: Kurt hummel?
Hey.
I'm ricardo.
Sorry to keep you waiting. My spin class ran late.
I...
Are you okay?
I-i'm sorry.
I have to go.
Will: Bop, bop, bop, bop.
Bop-bop, bop, tsa-tsa-tsa.
(baby giggles)
Thoughts?
Come on, danny, pay attention.
You're the only person i trust to show this stuff to.
See, vocal adrenaline is not like the new directions!
They're all about precision and big dance ensembles.
Perfection.
Can't rely on my old tricks if i want
To get us a win at sectionals, which means...
No waiting till the last minute,
No mercedes to park and bark,
And (sighs) no journey.
(sighs)
What i need to know is if i'm crazy
For considering having the entire team do
A synchronized backflip.
(whoops)
Ha! (baby giggles)
(laughs)
Oh, why do i worry about anything
When i get to come home every night and see that face?
(cooing)
Come on, you want to learn some of daddy's dance moves?
Here we go, you ready?
You ready?
A five, six, seven, eight.
¶ bop, ba-dop ¶
¶ ba-dop, bop, bop-ba ¶
¶ bop, ba-dop ¶
¶ ba-dop, ba... ¶
¶ bop, bop ¶
¶ ba-dop, bop, bop-ba ¶
¶ bop, bop ¶
¶ ba-dop, ba... ¶
¶ have you seen her? ¶
¶ so fine and pretty ¶
¶ fooled me with her style and ease ¶
¶ and i feel her ¶
¶ from across the room ¶
¶ yeah, it's love in the third degree ¶
¶ ooh... ¶
¶ baby, baby ¶
¶ won't you turn your head my way? ¶
¶ ooh... ¶ ¶ baby, baby ¶
¶ well, don't skip romance ¶
¶ 'cause you're old enough ¶
¶ to dance... The night away ¶
¶ ooh, baby ¶
¶ dance, dance, dance the night away ¶
¶ ah, come on, baby, baby ¶
¶ dance... The night away. ¶
All right!
Great job, guys. It's, uh, it's getting better.
Remember, my office door is always open
If any of you have any problems, so, um...
Am i dreaming?
Is that star of stage and screen rachel berry?
I think the correct term is "unhireable."
Come on, your show wasn't that bad.
I actually liked, um... A-a bunch of it.
(whispers): You're a terrible liar.
No, i've just always seen the best in you.
When i was in high school and everyone thought i was a loser,
I knew that one day i would have the chance
To show them the truth.
And, well, i got my shot, and all i did was prove them right.
That was just one misstep, rachel.
Yeah, well, that's really all you get these days.
No, i don't believe that.
I mean, there's always something else,
Especially for someone as talented as you are.
I mean, look at me.
Here.
Yeah, i lost the new directions!
But now i'm coaching the most famous glee club in the world.
Yeah, which i have some pretty strong feelings about.
I wanted to keep coaching,
And mckinley doesn't have a glee club anymore.
Well, that never stopped you before.
I don't have any fight left in me, rachel.
I have a baby, and, uh...
And carmel pays five times what mckinley did.
This is a good thing.
Besides, it's not like any of you guys are there anymore.
Well... No, don't, please.
Don't give me some speech
About being a part of something special makes you special,
And that i should just believe in myself,
Because we're way past that.
How about this?
Have you ever seen a guy shoot a bow and arrow?
(chuckles) when would i have seen that?
(laughs)
Okay, well, here-here it is.
The power is created by the bending of the bow, okay?
So-so the more... The more the bow bends,
The more potential energy is created.
Life's challenges are just the bending of the bow.
No, think about it. Okay.
The bigger the challenge, the more the bow bends,
The more potential you create to do something amazing. Right.
All you have to do is just...
Find a purpose. (laughs)
Find the arrow that you're gonna put in that bow.
(laughs): Okay.
You still got it. I still got it!
(both laugh) oh, my god.
No. Well, the only difference
With my situation is that the bow didn't just bend,
It broke.
What's going on? We're here for an intervention.
Rachel, we want to help you.
Will: We are gonna watch
That's so rachel.
(chuckles): On, no. No, we're not.
No, we're not, you guys. No, no, i think it's time.
I think you're ready to face your fears.
Um, no, i-i don't think so, blaine.
Until you sit and watch that's so rachel
And realize it really wasn't that bad,
You're never gonna get over it.
Is this really happening right now? Mm-hmm.
(exhales) here we go. Oh, my god, you guys.
Rachel (on video): I am so tired
From that train ride from ohio.
Oh, thank heavens i inherited this loft
From my two dead gay grandmothers.
(laugh track laughter)
Looks just like your apartment. It's nice.
Rachel, look!
(gasps) it's my grandmothers... S'
Purple piano!
I learned how to play on this!
Uh, excuse me? (laugh track laughter continues)
That's my piano.
It came with the apartment.
Wait. Someone else lives here?
That's right.
I'm nittany cuthbert, oh, my god.
And this is infiniti domingo. It's uncanny.
I feel like i can't breathe.
What y'all doing
In the apartment we bought two years ago?
And i'm blartie, and i live here, too.
(laughter)
I knew it was too good to be true.
¶ ¶
(crowd cheering)
It's so horrible!
No, it's not that bad. Blaine.
It's horrible.
Nittany: Here, rachel. I thought these guys
Could help you with your audition for cats.
Oh, the cats! The cats were the worst part, you guys.
They have cancer.
Ugh! And then they started spraying everywhere.
(cats yowling) cert! Where have you been?
Let's just say i fed my worm to a warbler.
(laugh track laughter)
He is so funny.
Come here, kitty. Ah.
(cat screeches) (all gasp)
Oh, my god. Nailed him.
(cats yowling) it looks like cert forgot
To take his narcolepsy medicine. (chuckles)
He'll be fine.
I thought you were gonna be singing.
Where's the singing? Well, they cut it.
Gosh, rachel, new york is the worst.
Even the muggers have muggers. Well, what happened?
I was... I was... Robbed at gunpoint,
And... Paralyzed in fear.
And i'm paralyzed.
Anyway, rachel...
Line!
Okay, uh, mr. Shue, can we just please pause it?
I-i can't watch anymore.
I get it. Like... All right.
Please.
(sighs)
I think it's charming.
It's a monstrosity. Oh, you're right.
I mean, this isn't the beginning that you had hoped for,
But it is... Still a beginning.
And since when are you a girl who does it the easy way?
Will: It's just a tv show; it's not who you are.
I mean, you're not gonna be defined by this failure.
The future will judge you
Based on what you do to come back from it.
Look, i know you've been through this
With sue sylvester, but she's wrong.
Depriving a student an education in the arts is so...
I agree.
I think the arts are extremely important.
But unfortunately, the principals are
In charge of the schools.
Right, but aren't you in charge of the principals?
Even if i wanted to go over sue sylvester's head
And reinstate the glee club,
It would be impossible at this point.
The budget's already been set for the year,
And there is no money for any new programs.
What if i gave the money?
I-i have some left over from that's so rachel.
It's not much, but i'd be willing to donate it
If it meant bringing back the glee club.
Hmm.
(chuckles): You know...
I have to admit, i...
Wouldn't mind seeing sue sylvester taken down a peg.
I mean, the grades are up, but i'm not sure about the caning.
I have a sneaking suspicion she's angling for my job.
That would not surprise me.
All right.
You've got a deal.
On one condition. Okay.
You run it. Excuse me?
I don't know, rachel, you seem like
The perfect candidate to me.
Hey, rachel.
(sighs)
I showed up. Six months ago, you said
That we would all meet at that spot outside the loft,
'cause no matter what, our friendships
Were the most important thing.
(siren wailing in distance)
(thunder rumbling softly)
Well, i was the only one who showed up.
And you were clearly in the midst
Of a nervous breakdown. And...
Well, blaine...
Well, i-i blew it.
I blew the best thing that ever happened to me.
Are you sure you're not just saying that
Because you're lonely? I mean, new york must feel
Pretty empty without all of us there.
No.
Blaine's the love of my life.
I started seeing this therapist
Who said that i have this thing with love.
You know, men fight as a way
To stay connected, but blaine wasn't like that.
He wasn't afraid of intimacy.
H-has he said anything?
H-he seems to be in a good place about it.
Well, that's great.
Well, m-maybe i can fix it.
Do you think you can arrange a meeting between he and i
In-in a neutral place somewhere here in lima?
Uh, i'm confused.
How do you plan to fix things long distance?
Well...
Maybe it doesn't have to be long distance.
Look, i... I want to be here with you guys.
You've got to help me.
Maybe we can have our redemption here together.
I think i have the perfect idea.
Thank you so much, gentlemen.
Rachel: Yeah, we know that in the past
The glee club and the av club have had friendly relations,
And we plan to keep that intact.
And we promise to learn your names, yes.
And that goes for the band, too.
What is this?
We're bringing back the glee club.
I went over your head and got express written consent
From the superintendent, and there is
Nothing you can do to stop us.
Let me get this straight.
The superintendent gave you permission to demolish
A state-of-the-art computer lab to make room for a glee club.
He may have been aware that this was a computer lab.
And who will be running this glee club?
You, rachel?
And me.
It's part of my third-year work-study program at nyada.
Okay, well, i have to, uh, admit i'm surprised at the speed
With which two of the glee club's more promising graduates
Have tucked their tails between their legs
And slinked back to high school.
While i'm always tickled
At the sheer novelty of having a middle-sex like porcelain,
'cause it's just so whimsical to talk
To somebody who looks and sounds
So much like a gay cartoon walrus,
You,
Rachel berry,
Well, you crossed a line.
I don't appreciate being told off.
And when we met up in new york,
You insulted me in front of my beau.
Simply because i flew a thousand miles
To be at your opening night
So i could walk out in the middle
And have sex all over your apartment.
And then you do this.
You two have just entered sue sylvester's thunderdome.
And i will show you no mercy,
Give no quarter, and my battle
With will schuester will look like
Two adorable little baby pandas play wrestling
In comparison to what i'm going to unleash on both of you.
You will beg for death.
But it will not come.
You think you bottomed out
With that abomination of a tv show you ran?
No, rachel berry, your national nightmare
Has just...
Begun.
(sniffing)
You smell like a nursing home.
¶ ¶
(school bell ringing)
Kurt: Just be cool.
Keep your words as straight as an arrow.
Blaine: Hi!
I hope you weren't waiting long.
Uh, no, no. H-hi!
Hi. Hello. (chuckles nervously)
Hi. Hi.
Um, i-i appreciate you coming to see me.
I-i would understand if you had told me to screw off.
No! No, no. I-i've wanted to see you, uh...
Well, i-i'm here to get you back.
I-i don't mean to blurt it out like that,
But f-for the sake of clarity, you should know that first
I'm going to get your forgiveness,
And-and then i'm gonna get your heart back.
Um... I'm seeing someone.
Don't cry. Be cool.
Smile, oh, god. I'm gonna be sick.
And i... I wanted to tell you in person,
Especially because you know him.
Please don't say sebastian smythe.
Hey, kurt!
Karofsky.
I knew this would be a little weird for you.
Kurt: It's a living nightmare!
What? No, it's-it's not weird at all.
No. Uh, so how'd you two meet up again?
Well, um, it was actually just a few months ago, right here
As a matter of fact.
(men whooping) i was a little bored,
So i decided to come to country bear nights
Here at scandals, and there was dave
Doing the electric slide.
¶ ¶
Fun! (laughs)
Yeah.
We got to talking, mostly... Mostly about you.
I was just so angry with what had happened,
And it was just me venting about the breakup.
(stammers) but i reminded him,
You know, how much you helped me
During that dark time in my life.
And, uh, just, you know, you forgave me
For all the crap i put you through.
Blaine: Anyway, we got to talking,
Hanging out, and...
Here we are.
Here we are.
Yogi and boo boo.
That's his nickname for us 'cause i'm his big bear
And he's my little cub.
Kurt: Ugh! I'm gonna be sick!
I'm gonna throw up!
And when did blaine start liking bears?!
I know this isn't what you wanted.
And i know this isn't gonna be easy, but i just wanted
All of us to be able to be adults about this.
And i'm hoping we can be friends.
You know, we can all hang out and stuff.
(laughs) sounds like fun.
Um, if-if you'd excuse me, i have to use the restroom.
(panting slowly)
Perfect.
Definitely want this.
Put it right there.
(knocking)
I always thought one day finn would take this place over.
Yeah, well, it's just for a couple months
Till i get my feet on the ground.
You know what that means yet?
Broadway. It was always my dream.
Still is.
I had it once and i lost it, but i'm gonna get it back.
So... Don't bet against me.
I never have and i never will.
I, um... Wanted to bring you something.
Think it belongs right here.
And just a little friendly reminder,
You're gonna be facing off against blaine
And me at sectionals, so, um,
I think it's time to start recruiting.
Yeah.
I think you're gonna like it here.
(idina menzel's "let it go" begins)
¶ the snow glows white on the mountain tonight ¶
¶ not a footprint to be seen ¶
¶ a kingdom of isolation ¶
¶ and it looks like i'm the queen ¶
¶ and the wind is howling ¶
¶ like this swirling storm inside ¶
¶ couldn't keep it in ¶
¶ heaven knows i tried ¶
¶ don't let them in, don't let them see ¶
¶ be the good girl you always have to be ¶
¶ conceal, don't feel ¶
¶ don't let them know ¶
¶ well, now they know ¶
¶ let it go, let it go ¶
¶ can't hold it back anymore ¶
¶ let it go, let it go ¶
¶ turn away and slam the door ¶
¶ i don't care ¶
¶ what they're going to say ¶
¶ let the storm rage on ¶
¶ the cold never bothered me anyway ¶
¶ it's funny how some distance ¶
¶ makes everything seem small ¶
¶ and the fears that once controlled me ¶
¶ can't get to me at all ¶
¶ it's time to see what i can do ¶
¶ to test the limits and break through ¶
¶ no right, no wrong, no rules for me ¶
¶ i'm free ¶
¶ let it go, let it go ¶
¶ i'm one with the wind and sky ¶
¶ let it go, let it go ¶
¶ you'll never see me cry ¶
¶ here i stand ¶
¶ in the light of day ¶
¶ let the storm rage on... ¶
The cold never bothered me anyway.