Glee (2009–2015): Season 5, Episode 15 - Bash - full transcript

So here's what you missed
on Glee.

Rachel got the lead
in Funny Girl on Broadway

and they've been rehearsing,
like, forever and now

the show's about to open
and Blaine and Sam and Artie

and Mercedes are all
in New York together.

If you can sing in the middle
of Times Square,

you can pretty much
do anything.

Artie's in film school
and Blaine's in NYADA

and Sam is a model and
Mercedes is recording an album

and Blaine and Sam moved in
with Mercedes.

And Sam really wants to go out
with her or go out with her



again because they already went
out and she broke up with him

and sang
"I Will Always Love You"

wearing the world's
most awesome wig.

What are we going to do
about our sexual chemistry?

Been there, done that.
No, Sam.

And that's what you missed
on Glee.

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Mother cannot guide you ♪

♪ Now you're on your own ♪

♪ Only me beside you ♪

♪ Still, you're not alone ♪

♪ No one is alone ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Truly ♪

♪ No one is alone ♪



♪ You move just a finger ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Say the slightest word ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Something's bound to linger ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Be heard ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ No one acts alone ♪

♪ Careful ♪

♪ No one is alone ♪

♪ People make mistakes ♪

♪ Fathers ♪
♪ Mothers ♪

♪ People make mistakes

♪ Holding to their own ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Thinking they're alone ♪

♪ Honor their mistakes ♪
♪ Fight for their mistakes ♪

♪ Everybody makes ♪

♪ One another's
terrible mistakes ♪

♪ Witches can be right ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Giants can be good ♪

♪ You decide what's right ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ You decide what's good ♪

♪ Just remember ♪
♪ Just remember ♪

♪ Someone is on your side ♪

♪ Our side ♪
♪ Our side ♪

♪ Someone else is not ♪

♪ Someone else is not ♪

♪ While we're seeing our side ♪

♪ Maybe we forgot ♪

♪ They are not alone ♪

♪ They are not alone ♪

♪ No one is alone ♪

♪ No one is alone ♪

♪ Hard to see the light now ♪

♪ Just don't let it go ♪

♪ Things will come
out right now ♪

♪ We can make it so ♪

♪ Someone is on your side ♪

♪ Someone is on your side ♪

♪ No one is alone... ♪

I've been in this business
for a very long time.

I produced a lot of shows.

Now, the next two weeks...

tech and previews...

that's when companies
come together

or they fall apart.

Now, people...

I need a hit.

A real, real hit.

So I want you to focus,
I want you to rest,

and I want you to
be the absolute best

that you can be, okay?

The stage is yours now.

If you have any questions,
I'll be in my office.

Sidney, can I just
talk to you for a second?

I have a scheduling conflict,
Huh? What?

And the stage manager said
I should talk to you about it.

It's just a two hour conflict.

Rachel, you're in every scene.

The whole thing is about you.

I understand.
It's just that, um,

well, you see,
that NYADA has been so great

dealing with
the Funny Girl schedule,

so I was just hoping that
we could maybe return the favor.

Please, please.

It's for my Midwinter Critique.

You're killing me.
I-I'm sorry.

Um, it's just a huge part
of my grade.

It's in front of the entire
faculty and students,

and-and if I could just,
you know, make it to this,

then we'll be into performances

and I will be Rachel Berry,
NYADA sophomore by day

and Broadway star by night.

I think
you're overextending yourself.

Oh, no, no, no, no,
look, this-this whole time,

I've been putting up
with my classes

and working at the diner,

and I haven't given you
any less than 150%.

All right, fine.

This is the one exception, okay?

Thank you so much. Thank you.

I really appreciate it.
You're a gem. Thank you.

Edna.

Well, maybe we
should forget our plan...

- Sam?
- What?

Can you turn that down
some please?

Hmm, yeah, sorry.

And don't worry, I'll take...

What the hell
are you watching, anyway.

Facts of Life.

It's amazing; it's about

this old redheaded lady
who runs this boarding school

for lesbians, and then I think
the lesbian school burns down.

The old redheaded lady

opened up this pot dispensary
called Edna's Edibles.

They all work there.

Oh, well, now I'm awake.

You mind if I watch it
with you?

Sure.

Um,

I've always
had trouble sleeping.

So when I moved to New York,
Blaine, um...

you're gonna get a kick
out of this... he

started reading me
Star Wars Fan Fiction

until I got tired.

"'I think young Anakin

"has a diaper full
of midichlorians, R-2,'

"said C-3PO as he bottle-fed
space formula

to the infant Jedi who would
bring balance to the Force."

Whoever wrote this fan fiction
really sucks.

Actually, George Lucas
wrote this one.

Can I ask you, um,
can I ask you a question?

Mm-hmm.

You never told me
why you broke up with me.

Yes, I did.

I told you, I just,
I didn't know who I was,

and until I figured it out,
we just couldn't be together.

I still think
it's a load of crap.

Be real.

I mean, you dated Quinn,

Santana, Brittany,
almost Rachel,

and wasn't that school nurse
you dated,

like, 30?

And there's a rumor
you even made out with Tina.

Wait, Penny the school nurse
is 30?

That's why she got clingy.

You know, I can't
mess around like that.

It's just... It's not me.

I'm not that kind of girl.

Oh.

Well, you know, I feel like

you and I never even got
to figure out what we even had.

It was just, like,
over before it even started.

And now there's this...

obvious chemistry that
I don't know what to do with.

Oh, it's not up
for discussion, Sam.

You asked me a question
and I answered it.

Okay? I just want to watch
the lesbian show about weed

and go back to bed.

Fine. Mmm.

I mean, to launch a ship

when they're about
to close the harbor...

Yes.

Oh, gosh, I'm so excited
that we're all together

for our weekly potluck dinner.

Well, it is only
week number two.

The tradition will be
falling apart in no time.

Hey, um, who's this?

That was, uh, a
neighbor's friend.

He got beat up last week.

That's a nice way of saying
he was gay-bashed.

Apparently he was just
walking down Bleecker Street

and these guys jumped
out of a pickup truck

and just decided to beat him up.

He's lucky to be alive.

It's so depressing.

Like, hate crimes in America
keep decreasing,

but in New York,
they're actually increasing.

Yeah, why?

Well, a few ignorant idiots

just hate the idea that
we're finally being accepted.

They hate the fact
that we're marrying.

They hate the fact that we're
moving into neighborhoods

that are supposedly "straight."

So they lash out
by trying to kill us.

Okay, well, let's
change the subject

before we all get so bummed we can't eat.
Yes, please.

Well, NYADA Midwinter
Critiques are upon us

and our fearless leader,
Madame Tibideaux,

has tightened her turban
and given us

the ultimate
musical theater challenge.

Sondheim!

Oh, my God, it's amazing.

But how are we gonna pick?
It's so hard.

We have to do a duet.

Hold the phone.

Are you two playing footsie?

No.

I have that, uh,
restless legs syndrome.

I just, I forgot to
take my iron pills.

Uh-huh.

I don't know why we always
have to keep this a secret.

What? There's
nothing to keep a secret.

So we're not keeping
anything a secret.

Okay, well, that's bull,
and you know it.

Okay, you know
I've always liked you,

and you clearly have feelings
for me, too.

Sam, you're out
of your tiny little mind.

Okay, come on.
Look around you, okay?

We're not in high
school anymore.

We're adults and we're
in New York City.

Okay, we can finally
be the people

that we always hoped we could
be and do all the things

that we've always
dreamed about doing.

Um, what are you doing?

I want to make a wish.

Are you about to throw a coin
in the East River?

No.

I'm gonna make
a bunch of wishes,

and they're all gonna go
towards the same wish.

Oh, there's a screw.

That you, Mercedes Jones,

will open your eyes

and realize that we're
perfect for each other.

Sam.

What are you doing?

Excuse me.

- Mwah.
- Excuse me.

You can't just throw things
into the river.

Look, Sam.

By the way,
who is gonna tell you

that you shouldn't be wearing
that fur coat?

What? What?

You know how many
animals were killed

to make that coat and
how they were killed?

Okay, it takes a lot of dumb
animals to make a fur coat,

and it only takes
one to wear one.

It's a faux fur, Sam.

It's not real.

Well, that doesn't
matter, okay?

Because it's 2014,

and that coat's
sending a message

that it's okay
to skin animals alive

or electrocute them.

Look, you have a career
to think about.

Is that what you want
your image to be?

Fine. It's not
that cold out anyway.

No, I was... I wasn't serious.
You don't have to...

Oh!

It was your idea.

You see what I'm saying?

We are perfect for each other.

Here, take my coat.

You're gonna freeze, yeah.

Yeah, that was a
bad idea, wasn't it?

Thank you.

Just put it on.

All right, now let's
go do something.

Jump on the train and, uh,

get a hot dog.

No, no, you just...

You go back to the apartment.

I'll meet you in a little bit.

You serious?

Yeah, beat it.

Look, this is just...
It's a lot to take in,

and I have a lot to think about,

so you go back to the apartment.

I'll meet you in a little bit,
I promise.

Okay.

Sam?

If we're gonna do this,

we have to set
some ground rules, okay?

We-we have to take it slow.

Like, you stay
in the living room on the couch,

and I stay in my bedroom.

Could you be okay with that?

For you, yeah.

Yeah, I could do that.

Okay.

A Natural Woman" begins)

♪ Lookin' out
on the morning rain ♪

♪ Ah-ooh ♪

♪ I used to feel so uninspired ♪

♪ Ah-ooh ♪

♪ And when I knew

♪ I had to face another day ♪

♪ Ah-ooh ♪

♪ Lord, it made me feel ♪

♪ So tired ♪

♪ Before the day I met you ♪

♪ Life was so unkind ♪

♪ You're the key
to my peace of mind ♪

♪ 'Cause you make me feel ♪

♪ You make me feel... ♪

♪ You make me feel ♪

♪ Like a natural woman ♪

♪ Woman ♪

♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ What you've done to me ♪

♪ What you've done to me ♪

♪ Mmm, you make me feel ♪

♪ So good inside ♪

♪ Good inside ♪

♪ And, baby,
I just want to be ♪

♪ Want to be ♪

♪ Close to you,
you make me feel so alive ♪

♪ You make me feel ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ You make me feel ♪
♪ You make me feel ♪

♪ You make me feel ♪

♪ Like a natural woman ♪
♪ Feel like a natural woman ♪

♪ Yeah, you make me feel ♪

♪ You make me feel like a ♪
♪ You make me feel ♪

♪ Feel like a natural woman ♪

♪ Woman ♪
♪ Oh... ♪

♪ You make me feel... ♪

♪ You make me feel ♪

♪ Like a natural woman ♪

♪ Woman ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. ♪

Okay, wait.
Hold up.

So this is a guy that you dated

in high school?

We didn't really date,
not really.

But... high school?

Mercedes, we just got here.

I just figured out
what subway stop

is closest to my apartment.

You've already
given up on New York

to date some guy
you know from home in Ohio?

Listen, I know
that it sounds weird...

No, this sounds weird.

Clive, it would take me

all day to kiss your fat ass.

That was my impression
of Chris Tucker

doing, uh, Kevin Hart.

No, Kevin Hart
doing Chris Tucker.

It's a work in progress,

but it's gonna be a classic.

Sam, these are my
very good friends

and very talented
backup singers...

- Ooh.
- ...Shaynice

and this is Tesla. Hey.

Okay, I've always
wondered this.

Okay, what is the thing
with hip-hop artists

naming themselves after cars?

Is that a thing?

Okay...

My parents, Rob and Sherry,

named me after the
inventor, Nikola Tesla.

So why don't you ask her?

Oh, yeah, no,
but she's, uh,

she's named after her mom's

favorite actress,
Mercedes Ruehl.

Oh... I forgot
that I told you that.

Steel trap.

So...

So Sam is in New York

to be a model.
Oh.

That's right, yeah.

It's, uh, pretty easy.

You kind of just stand there,
strike a pose.

They ask you to strip
down to your underwear,

not a big deal.

But, uh, yeah, it's fun.

I mean, who doesn't want
to be a model, right?

Um, I'm... gonna
go get a chair.

There's actually
a lot of acting involved.

You'll be standing there
and the photographer

will ask you to feel
some sort of emotion

so you gotta,
you gotta use your brain.

You gotta stop
and you gotta think.

Like, okay, Sam, concentrate.

And it's great.
And then you just, like,

you feel...
you feel that emotion.

So...
how about

we order?
Yes.

I just got a
haircut, also, if anybody

was wondering.

Where is that waitress?

Well, you guys have
beautiful hair. Yeah.

What, is this like a,
is this a, is that weave?

Or is that real? What?

Oh, God.

No, actually, um...

both of us have real hair.

- Oh!
- Yeah. Mercedes, too.

Yeah. She is also
not wearing a wig.

Awesome.

♪ Ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah... ♪

No?

♪ I am just ♪

♪ A Broadway baby ♪

♪ Walking off my tired feet ♪

♪ Pounding 42nd Street ♪

♪ To be in a show ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Broadway baby ♪

♪ Learning how
to sing and dance ♪

♪ Waitin' for
that one big chance ♪

♪ To be in a show ♪

♪ Oh! ♪

♪ Gee, I'd like to be ♪

♪ On some marquee ♪

♪ All twinkling lights ♪

♪ A spark ♪

♪ To pierce the dark ♪

♪ From Battery Park ♪

♪ To Washington Heights ♪

♪ Someday maybe ♪

♪ All my dreams will be repaid ♪

♪ Heck, I'd even play the maid ♪

♪ To be in a show ♪

♪ Hey! Mr. Producer ♪

♪ I'm talking to you, sir ♪

♪ I don't need a lot ♪

♪ Only what I got ♪

♪ Plus a tube of greasepaint
and a follow spot ♪

♪ I'm a Broadway baby ♪

♪ Broadway baby ♪

♪ Slaving at a five and ten ♪

♪ Ooh, yeah ♪

♪ Dreaming of
the great day when ♪

♪ I'll be in a show ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪

♪ Oh, Broadway baby ♪

♪ Broadway baby ♪

♪ Making rounds all afternoon ♪

♪ Eatin' at a greasy spoon ♪

♪ To save all my dough ♪

♪ At my tiny flat ♪

♪ There's just my cat ♪

♪ A bed and chair ♪

♪ ti, I'll stick it till ♪

♪ I'm on a bill ♪

♪ All over Times Square ♪

♪ Oh... ♪

♪ Someday maybe ♪

♪ If I stick it long enough ♪

♪ I may get to strut my stuff ♪

♪ Working for a nice man ♪

♪ Like a Ziegfeld
or a Weissman ♪

♪ In a great big ♪

♪ Broadway ♪

♪ Show... ♪

Excellent performance.

Or it would've been,

had the assignment been a duet.

Apparently, you both feel

that you are above this class

and all that governs it.

No, not-not at all,
Madame Tibideaux...

I'm flunking you both.

Next!

Wait.

It was a good performance,

so I'm going to give you
the opportunity

to give me what
I asked for originally.

I want you to do it
as individuals.

Reschedule this week,

it's fine.

Um, I'm sorry,
Madame Tibideaux.

I'm just... I'm in the middle

of tech rehearsals
for my show right now...

Ms. Berry, I've said everything
I have to say to you.

Either you do it this week,
or you fail.

That's it. Next!

Please get off my stage.

Madame Tibideaux?

Do you have a moment?

If it's to reschedule

your Midwinter Critique,
then yes.

Otherwise, no,
I'm interviewing Mike Nichols

at the 92nd Street Y
at 5:30.

Um, so I was just hoping

that we could maybe reschedule

for after my opening night.

I thought I was very
clear about that.

It's either this week
or you fail.

I thought that
the appeal of NYADA

was that we could explore

other activities,
outside of the school.

Yes.

As long as you kept
your studies up.

But I've spoken
to your professors

and they say you
are underperforming

egregiously.

I'm sorry, who said that?

- All of them.
- Uh... g...

I have put up with
every single thing

that this school
has thrown at me,

including that lunatic
Cassandra July.

Ms. Berry, you are
barely scraping by

and you have the nerve
to come in here

and ask for special treatment
when you haven't earned it?

I'm sorry, I don't understand
why you're being so difficult.

It is not just a critique.

This is about you deciding:

are you part of this community?

Do you want to get your degree?

Do you care about the work,

or is it just about
the spotlight?

That's what you have to decide.

I did decide,

and I chose I would do
whatever it takes

to make it to Broadway,

and that is why I fought
so hard to get into NYADA,

to help all of
my dreams come true,

and they have.

I-I am in my...
my dream show,

playing my dream part,

and I'm not going to turn
my back on that, I'm sorry.

Oh, come on, little girl.

You are not the first supernova

to come through here.

You... are talented.

You have drive.

What you don't have

is you have no foundation.

You don't listen

and you don't take direction.

That's why you need NYADA.

You're not ready.

You're wrong.

You're wrong and
I'm going to prove it to you.

Okay?

I don't need NYADA anymore.

Especially not if
it's going to hold me back.

Think long and hard...

about what you're
gonna say next.

I have.

I quit.

Look, he's very nice.

Nobody's saying
that he's not nice.

Yeah, and his impressions
were really good.

His Bill Cosby impression?

Spot on.

His impression of all
the Cosbys were good.

And I don't think a Tempestt
Bledsoe impression is easy.

- I'm surprised he found a toehold there.
- Me, too.

All right. Well...

what's the problem?

Shaynice, can we just
stop skating around it

and talk for real?

Mercedes...

you're black, and he's white.

Period.

Girl, he's not just
white, he's blond.

He's practically albino.

You can see the veins
in his temples.

If you date a white dude,

you're gonna alienate
all the black women

you want to buy your album

and you're gonna
piss off black men, too.

The only people who will
buy your record are albinos.

Well,

maybe I don't care.

Fine.

Maybe you don't,

but you should.

Oh...

"Well, you take the good
you take the bad,

"you take them both and

there you have
the facts of life."

Oh, I don't know what
it is about Mrs. Garrett.

She just does it for me.

Natalie, you
always do well on your tests.

But what if I don't?

I can't do this.

What? What do you,
what do you mean?

I can't be with you.

I can't date you
or be your girlfriend

or whatever.
It was dinner, wasn't it?

No.

Nah, you know, I,
you know, I just, uh,

when I get nervous I can't
stop talking and now you...

your backup singers probably,
they hate me, don't they?

No...

They don't...

they don't hate you.

They like you just fine.

I'm just worried about what
people are gonna think.

Okay, well, then...

I'm gonna ask you something,

and I want you
to be honest with me.

Does it have anything
to do with the fact

that you're black and I'm white?

I mean, think about it, Sam.

How many black female artists
do you see dating white dudes?

Because I've been thinking
about it all day

and I can't think of one.

What white folks
don't understand

is people pay attention
to that kind of stuff.

It's making a statement.

And I'm not sure
if that's the statement

that I want to make, not now.

I can't believe
you're saying this.

Okay, you know what?

This, this isn't you,

Mercedes, okay?
When we were in Glee Club,

there-there were
all different types

of people... there was gay,
straight, black, white,

Tina, it didn't matter we would...
Sam.

We are not
in high school anymore.

Okay? We're not in Glee Club.

Okay? This is
the real world.

That's all that we have.

And the real world has rules.

And I'm sorry, Sam, I really am.

But this is just the way it is.

You and I are not a couple.

And I think you should move out.

Hi! Thank you.

Sorry that I'm late.

I know what you did.

You're crazy.

Oh, my God.
Are you serious?

You really already

- heard about that?
- Seriously?

The gossip chain at NYADA is

the most efficient
part of the school.

Okay, look, don't judge me.
It was the right thing to do.

How can you say that?

Two years ago you would've done

anything humanly possible

to force your way
into that school.

And-and now you're
just gonna quit?

Oh, my God, that was
before Fanny, okay?

Everything changed
from that moment on.

I understand that,
but an education from NYADA

will give you options
in the future.

Okay? Broadway is
a fickle business.

What if this is
the last role you ever get?

"Last role"? Really? Wow.

You are worse than Carmen.

Is that honestly
what you think of me?

Of course not. I'm just saying
you need to be smart about this.

Okay, look, Kurt,
I'm just not interested

in spending huge sums
of money on a school

whose classes
I can barely even attend

and a dean who doesn't
like me or support me.

Yeah, that's not what it is.
She's just...

We can play
the "what if" game all day long.

But the point is that I have
the opportunity of a lifetime

staring me in the face right now
and I can't let anything,

whether it-it's school
or Carmen or the diner or..

You know,
even my friends stop me

from accomplishing my dreams.

Okay, for the last time,
ch, I am begging you.

Please don't do this.

You know, I am so hurt right now

that you are standing
in the corner with a failure

like Carmen Tibideaux
and not your best friend.

I'm not on Carmen's side!
I'm on your side!

No, you're afraid, okay?

You're afraid to venture out.

You need a place like NYADA,

where it's just
one big safe group,

and no one takes any risks.

That way, you guys

can just avoid the fact

of actually having
to grow up and be an adult.

Screw you, Rachel.

Wow. Okay.

Help!

Help, help!

Help!

Help!
Shut up, faggot!

Hey!

Hey!

Get off of him!

Hey, look.
What is wrong with you?!

There's two of them now.

Yeah, even numbers!

What is wrong with you?!

What decade are you from, huh?
I'm not afraid of you!

You're just a bunch of cowards!

Come on!

I mean, she just turned
and walked out.

It was like
some horrible nightmare.

I'm sorry, buddy.

Wish I knew what to say.

I mean, because I'm too white,
can you believe it?

Like, I'm telling you
it's really hard

to be a straight
white male these days.

We should probably
change the subject.

Hey, look on the bright side.

We get to look for
our own place now.

And, hey, I can give you
your old kazoo back.

Remember this guy?

Remember that?
Anytime you're feeling down,

and you have trouble sleeping,

just give that thing
a little toot,

and I'll read you

some Star Wars Fan Fiction!

No, I don't really want to.

Come on, it'll be fun!

Hey, I just read a Web site

all about Ewoks
and how they're polygamists.

How is that fan fin?
Of course they're polygamists.

That's obvious.
Hold on.

Watch this, it's crazy.

Hello?

May I speak
to Mr. Blaine Anderson, please?

Yeah, this is Blaine.

Mr. Anderson,
do you know a Kurt Hummel?

Sam, I don't want
to talk right now.

Hey, what's up, girl?

I know we're not
supposed to change the lines.

I just, like, don't feel
like Fanny would say this.

Just why don't...?
I'll-I'll do it

And why don't you
just let me...?

I'm sorry.
Rachel, phone call.

They say it's urgent.
I'm sorry, one second.

Hello?

Kurt's been in an accident.

Oh...

Is he okay?
Is he awake yet?

I have no idea.
They won't tell me anything.

I'm not family.

Is he okay?

He has a hairline fracture
above his right eye socket.

Some other cuts and bruising.

And he will be okay.

Now, he's sleeping now
from the morphine,

but you can see him.

Hey, Kurt, hey.

I know you're on a lot
of painkillers, buddy,

but you can wake up.

Sam, just leave him be.

I just feel so responsible.
We had this huge fight.

And then I just
left him all alone.

If you'd been with him,
he would've done the same thing.

I want to kill
whoever did this to him.

Don't say that, Sam.

You don't mean that.

I just wish he could hear me.

So I could tell him I was here.

He knows we're here.

He does.

♪ Nothing's gonna harm you ♪

♪ Not while I'm around ♪

♪ Nothing's gonna harm you ♪

♪ No, sir ♪

♪ Not while I'm around. ♪

♪ Being close and being clever ♪

♪ Ain't like being true ♪

♪ I don't need to,
I would never ♪

♪ Hide a thing from you ♪

♪ Like some ♪

♪ Demons'll charm you
with a smile ♪

♪ For a while ♪

♪ But in time ♪

♪ Nothing can harm you ♪

♪ Not while ♪

♪ I'm... ♪

♪ Around. ♪

Hey.

Thank you for coming.

So, this is it, huh?

Yup.

I mean, Aretha Franklin,

Ray Charles, Coltrane,

Chaka Khan, Thelonious Monk,

they all recorded here.

Now, Mercedes Jones.

Yeah, that's right.

You know,

I've been thinking

a lot about
our last conversation.

Yeah, me, too.

You had some good points.

But I did, too.

I can't pretend
that dating a white guy

is not something that people
aren't going to notice.

But then it occurred
to me that it's...

so messed up that I even
took that into consideration.

Me not dating someone
because they're white

is like me telling someone

I-I can't be their friend
because they're gay.

I'm not gay.

I know you're not gay, Sam.

I don't really have
that much to say.

I kind of just wanted to sing
about the way I feel.

Could you...?

How's it going?

Call me White Chocolate.

♪ When the world
is seeing yellow ♪

♪ I only see gray ♪

♪ When everybody
sees the rainbow ♪

♪ I'm stuck in the rain ♪

♪ You take
a little piece of me ♪

♪ Every time you leave ♪

♪ I don't think that I'll ever ♪

♪ Find that silver lining ♪

♪ Or reason to smile ♪

♪ You know I used to paint ♪

♪ Such vibrant dreams ♪

♪ Now I'm colorblind,
colorblind ♪

♪ When did my heart ♪

♪ Get so full of never mind,
never mind? ♪

♪ Did you know that you stole ♪

♪ The only thing I needed? ♪

♪ Always black and white
in my eyes ♪

♪ I'm colorblind ♪

♪ Ain't it funny
that you manage ♪

♪ To just wash away? ♪

♪ Even pictures
that you're not in ♪

♪ Have started to fade ♪

♪ I try to play
my favorite songs ♪

♪ But I can't sing along ♪

♪ The words don't
feel the same ♪

♪ You've taken all
the best things from me ♪

♪ And thrown them away ♪

♪ You know I used to paint ♪

♪ Such vibrant dreams ♪

♪ Now I'm colorblind,
colorblind ♪

♪ When did my heart ♪

♪ Get so full of never mind,
never mind? ♪

♪ Did you know ♪

♪ That you stole ♪

♪ The only thing I needed? ♪

♪ Always black and white ♪

♪ In my eyes ♪

♪ I'm colorblind ♪

♪ I'll wait... ♪

♪ For roses to be red again ♪

♪ And I hate... ♪

♪ That you took my blue
from the ocean ♪

♪ Give me back green greens ♪

♪ And goldens ♪

♪ My purples, my blues,
you stole them ♪

♪ How long will love
be broken? ♪

♪ You know I used to paint ♪

♪ Such vibrant dreams ♪

♪ Now I'm colorblind,
colorblind ♪

♪ When did my heart ♪

♪ Get so full of never mind,
never mind? ♪

♪ Did you know ♪

♪ That you stole ♪

♪ The only thing I needed? ♪

♪ Only black and white ♪

♪ In my eyes ♪

♪ I'm colorblind ♪

♪ It's only black and white ♪

♪ In my eyes ♪

♪ I'm colorblind. ♪

Hey.

Kurt, what were you thinking?

I mean, I know
what you were thinking, but...

who do you think you are,

Die Hard or Charles Bronson
or something?

Those guys could've had a gun.

What would you have done?

Just run, like they tell us?

I played football, Kurt.

So did I.

As a kicker!

That's the same attitude

that makes these guys think

that they can do
whatever they want.

Oh, come on.

You could've called the cops...

you could've gotten help...

Now, look, I'm proud
of what you did,

but come on, man.

Use your head!

You realize how lucky you are?

And what are you saying about

that other gay kid that
you saved that night?

He's... he isn't brave?

He's not as strong as you?

I don't know what his story is.

I only know what mine is.

And I've been
fighting these guys

for a really long time.

I've been fighting, too.

Okay?

I don't know, man.

I mean, it's just, uh...

I can't believe that
this happened here.

You know?
I mean, this is New York City.

I mean, come on,
this isn't Kansas.

Am I an idiot

because I thought
you'd be safe here?

Safer?

Look at your beautiful face.

I'm not upset

about it, actually.

Kind of hoping for a scar.

Is that weird?

Yes.

It's weird.

I hurt, just...
not on the inside.

And you know what?

Now I know who I am,
without a doubt.

You know who that is?

Is it Braveheart?

Your son.

The man you raised.

I'm glad you're okay.

Just... don't do it again.

Unless I'm right next to you.

We'll take 'em together?

Hey.

Are you sure
you're up for this?

You just got
out of the hospital.

You don't have to do this.

I do.

And I want to.

I heard he woke up.

I heard he's gonna be okay.

Can I come in?

You know, just because you said
you were gonna drop out of NYADA

doesn't mean you have
to go through with it.

I've made my decision.
Okay?

College just isn't for me.

Because it's too safe?

Because it's for people like me
who never take any risks?

I'm sorry. I...

I should never have said that.

It's okay.

We've had worse
arguments than that.

Kurt, I, um...

look, I'll say it
till the day I die:

you're the most talented person
that I've ever met,

and you've taken more risks
in your life

than I ever have
or ever will and...

I just... I don't want
another minute to go by

without telling you
that I love you.

And you're my best friend

and I'm just glad
that you're okay.

God, you're sappy.

But you're my best friend, too.

And you know I love you.

Okay.

- All right.
- Monday night potluck, yo!

Let's go have some food.

Hi!

What's up, everybody?

Mercedes and I have
an announcement.

Drumroll, please.

Well, Sam and I...

We are officially dating again.

Wait. Were you guys
ever really dating?

- Mm, not really.
- Yeah.

Yeah, your relationship

has always been kind of weird.

Okay, that's racist.

No, they're right,

because you guys
had that summer fling

and then you moved away
and then you came back

and then you dated for a
few more weeks, but...

I mean, I don't think any of
us ever saw any chemistry.

Okay, how's this for chemistry?

Ooh! Oh...

- Okay.
- Okay.

Well, um, I have an
announcement to make.

Yes, we know. Funny Girl
starts in two weeks.

You've been tweeting
about it every day.

- Yes.
- No.

So Kurt is singing
tomorrow at NYADA

for his Midwinter Critique.

And it's really
important for his grade,

and although I won't be
attending the school anymore,

I will be there in support,

and to also witness

what will undoubtedly be
an amazing performance.

So I really hope that you guys

can be there and join me.

Well, I don't know about
the rest of you fools,

but I wouldn't miss
it for the world.

To Kurt.

To Kurt!

To Kurt. To Kurt. To Kurt.

To Kurt.

Cheers, buddy.

♪ Good times and bum times ♪

♪ I've seen 'em all
and my dear ♪

♪ I'm still here ♪

♪ Plush velvet sometimes ♪

♪ Sometimes just
pretzels and beer ♪

♪ But I'm here ♪

♪ Oh, I've stuffed the dailies ♪

♪ In my shoes ♪

♪ Strummed ukuleles ♪

♪ I've sung the blues ♪

♪ Seen all my dreams disappear ♪

♪ But I'm here ♪

♪ Oh, I've been through Reno ♪

♪ I've been through
Beverly Hills ♪

♪ And I'm here ♪

♪ Reefers and vino ♪

♪ Rest cures, religion
and pills ♪

♪ But I'm here ♪

♪ I've been called
a pinko commie tool ♪

♪ Got through it stinko
by my pool ♪

♪ Still someone said,
"She's sincere" ♪

♪ So I'm here ♪

♪ Black sable one day ♪

♪ Next day it goes into hock ♪

♪ But I'm here ♪

♪ First you're another
sloe-eyed vamp ♪

♪ Then someone's mother ♪

♪ Then you're camp ♪

♪ I'm almost through
my memoirs ♪

♪ And I'm here ♪

♪ I've gotten through ♪

♪ "Hey, lady,
aren't you whoozis? ♪

♪ Wow, what a looker you were" ♪

♪ Or better yet, "Sorry,
I thought you were whoozis ♪

♪ Whatever happened to her?" ♪

♪ Good times and bum times ♪

♪ I've seen 'em all
and I'm still here ♪

♪ Plush velvet sometimes ♪

♪ Sometimes just
pretzels and beer ♪

♪ But I'm here ♪

♪ Lord knows
at least I've been there ♪

♪ And I'm here ♪

♪ I'm still here ♪

Kurt Hummel is here!

♪ Whoo ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪