Glee (2009–2015): Season 4, Episode 22 - All or Nothing - full transcript

It's time for Regionals, and the Glee Club is more determined than ever to advance to Nationals. Meanwhile, Brittany returns with a new attitude.

Thanks for waiting,
Miss Pierce.

Please, just call me Brittany.


this is Dr. Leonard Hauptman.

I am Dr. Donald Langdon,

the dean of the mathematics
department here at MIT.


when MIT heard about your
near-perfect SAT score,

we were a little skeptical.

A 0.2 grade point

is practically unheard of.

That means you've
never gotten higher

than a D-minus.

Is that why I had to take

that math test this morning?

We needed to see for ourselves

if you were MIT material.

And how did I do?

You scored a zero.

Brittany, you lack
a basic understanding

of even the simplest arithmetic,

and I don't know why
you couldn't have used

a number-two pencil,
like we asked.

Filling out the ovals in crayon

broke our Scantron machine.

I'm sorry.

we would like to ask you
about these numbers

that you scribbled
on the back of your test.


I don't know.

I didn't know any of the answers
on the test, so...

I had all these numbers swirling
around in my head,

so I just decided
to write them all down

so my brain would stop
feeling so tickly.


Brittany, this is no ordinary
series of numbers.

When you start
in the upper left-hand corner

and read it from left to right,

it's a prime number.


Normally you'd need
a supercomputer

to find a prime number
that large.

But when you start

from the upper right
and read it from right to left,

you get Avogadro's constant.

But that's not even

the most amazing part.

When you start
in the lower left-hand corner

and read the number

you get Planck's constant,

which is the fundamental unit

of measurement
in quantum mechanics.

We-we don't even know
what it means.

We believe

that what we are now calling
the Brittany Code...

The Brittany Code.

...will go
down in history

as the most important

scientific breakthrough
of the 21st century.

Oh, my God.

That is...

totally a-amazing.

I thought you were gonna tell me
that I was an idiot,

and that's bullying,
and I won't tolerate that.

Brittany, it's possible
that you may be

the most brilliant scientific
mind since Albert Einstein.

No way.

And that is why

we here at MIT

would like to present to you

a very unusual proposition.









All right, guys.

It's finally here.


That's right!

I just found out,

because of safety concerns
related to

late-season tornados,
Indianapolis has declined

to host the competition.

So! As defending champions,

we're having regionals here,

in our auditorium.

Did you hear that?

Home court advantage,

Now, because of
a sexting scandal

at Our Lady of Perpetual

their glee club,
the Nun-touchables,

has been excommunicated
by the new pope.

They've been replaced

by the world-famous

boys of Ziegler Prep,

the Waffle-toots.

Like cake farts?
They're very good.

The Hoosierdaddies are still
the odds-on favorite.

I mean, their lead vocalist,
Frida Romero,

is a tiny juggernaut of talent.

We are in for
the fight of our lives.

So... let's get real.

There comes a moment
in every performer's life

that defines him or her,

sometimes for
the rest of their career.

This is our moment.

We've struggled, we've endured,

and now we must triumph.

And speaking of that,

I want us all
to just take a moment

to send some positive energy

to one of our very own.

She has her final callback
for Funny Girl today.

Rachel Berry.

We're ready for you.

So, let's all give a big
round of applause to Rachel,

wherever she is.

Hi, I'm Rachel Berry,

and I'll be auditioning for
the role of Fanny Brice today,

and I'll be singing.

"To Love You More"
by Celine Dion.

♪ Take me

♪ Back into the arms I love

♪ Need me

♪ Like you did before

♪ Touch me once again

♪ And remember when

♪ There was no one that you

♪ Wanted more

♪ I'll be waiting for you

♪ Here inside my heart

♪ I'm the one who wants
to love you more ♪

♪ You will see I can give you

♪ Everything you need

♪ Let me be the one
to love you more ♪

♪ Some way

♪ All the love that we had

♪ Can be saved

♪ Whatever it takes

♪ We'll find a way

♪ Believe me

♪ I will make you see

♪ All the things
that your heart ♪

♪ Needs to know

♪ I'll be waiting...

♪ Here inside my heart

♪ I'm the one who wants
to love you more ♪

♪ Oh... oh-oh-oh

♪ Oh-oh-oh...

♪ Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh,
oh, oh, ah-ha... ♪

♪ Oh, whoa, oh

♪ Oh...

Thank you, Rachel.

We'll let you know.

You can only do this once,

so it-it has to be perfect.

It has to be,
you know, special.

Are you actually talking
about a marriage proposal?

Dude, we're in high school.

You're not ready
to get married,

and I'm not letting you.

Well, I'm not asking
for your permission.

I'm already gonna do it.

What I'm asking for is your
help about how to do this.

From my best friend.


Then, as your best friend,
I need to remind you

that just a few weeks ago,
you were totally confused.

You didn't even know where
Kurt stood with this Adam guy.

Well, I don't remember
you being

this introspective when you were
asking Brittany to marry you.

One, I don't even know
what that means, and two,

we thought the world
was ending.

And when we realized
it wasn't...

I regretted it.

Will you listen to yourself?

You sound exactly like
the rest of the world,

saying that
"it's not time yet."

Well, you know what?

People like me
have been hearing that

for hundreds and
hundreds of years.

This is happening.

I am gonna ask Kurt
to marry me.

And not only are you
one of my best friends,

but I was kind of hoping
that you would be my best man.

So let me know if you,
uh, change your mind.

You know what? Someone has to do the
right thing here. Marley, stop...


...six, seven, eight, nine...

Uh, are, are Joe and Sugar here?

Present, Mr. Shue.

Come on.

Great. Okay.

Guys, I have finalized
our set list.

We are going with "I Love It"
by Icona Pop...

I love it!

"Hall of Fame" by The Script
and will.

And Marley's original song
"All or Nothing."

Hey, Mr. Shue, what
about my original song?

Do you remember?

♪ My cup, my cup

♪ Sayin' "What's up?"

♪ To my cup, my cup

- ♪ More of a friend...
- "My Cup" is one of a kind,

but we're going
with Marley's song.

Oh, come on, boo.

Two thumbs down.

The only way to polish
that turd of a song

- is with my angelic alto voice.
- Whoa.

So I demand to sing it
as a solo.

And I demand to sing all
the good songs as solos.

Everyone can snap their fingers

and march around behind me.

Tina, please make
an exact replica

of Jennifer Lawrence's
Oscar dress.

Um, no.

Um... yes.

Let me break it down.

No one in this musty choir room

compares to my megawatt
star power.

Blaine, you're shorter
than your average lawn gnome.

Joe, you look like
a Yucatán spider monkey.

Tina is... you know,
she's... Tina.

Wait, baby.
Baby, I love you,

but you're really
out of line, here.

And would you stop texting?

I'm trying to talk to you,
it's really rude.

Did you seriously
just break up with me?

By a text?

As fascinated as I am

by your down-filled,
pillow-soft lips

that are ten times
too big for your face,

I really miss my sweet,
sweet lady kisses.

Sorry/not sorry.

Moving on, I repeat:

I require all the solos.

That's just the way
it's gonna be.

Brittany, why are
you doing this?

Well, I'm just living
your lesson, Mr. Shue.

It's all or nothing.

All or nothing!

Come in!

I said, come in.

What the hell are you doing?

I'm nailing my 95 theses
to the door.

Your 95 what?

They're 95 reasons
why I'm quitting the Cheerios!

"Number one. It is true
that members of the Cheerios!

"received illegal salaries
and kickbacks.

"Last year alone,
I earned $5,000.

Number two..."
I can read them myself

without you reading them to me
like I'm some idiot.

"Number three."

Last year Sue Sylvester locked
seven Cheerios! In a...

"dog crate in order
to potty-train them."

What are you doing?

I soaked my uniform
in lighter fluid overnight,

and will now solemnize
my departure from the Cheerios!

By lighting it on fire.

Lord Jesus!

This fool done tried
to set my hair on fire!

Okay, guys, listen up.

Uh, first up, we're gonna tackle Icona Pop.

It's got a unique beat,
but not entire different from...

All right, look.
I'm-I'm sorry.

Excuse me, Mr. Shue,
but I've got to say something.


Look, so I hate
to pull a Brittany here,

but the bottom line is,
I'm not performing in regionals

until Catfish reveals

This whole situation is out
of hand and needs to end.

Hey, look, I'm serious, okay?

I can't take it anymore,
it-it's tearing me apart.

And someone in this room
is playing games with me,

and I want to know who!

Somebody, just say who it is.
I don't think it's any of us.

Pull out your phones! Everybody
pull out your phones right now!

Ryder, relax, man.

I know this is upsetting, but...

Well, now nobody
is going to admit it

for fear of being murdered.

I've told this person

and I want to know who it is.

I know you're upset... I want to know...
No, you don't know.

You don't know, okay? Who is it?

It's not me.

All right, fine.
If nobody's gonna say anything,

pull out your phones. And I want
to see all of your phones.

Are you serious?
All of your phones.

Pull out your texts. I'm serious!

Whoever it is, just say it.

Who is it?
It's me.

I'm Catfish.

What? What do you...?

No, I-I-I asked you.
You swore to me.

I'm sorry.

I didn't mean
for this to happen.

Look, just take it easy,
Ryder, okay?

This was just a little joke.

Things got out of hand.

What, you're-you're
defending her?

Huh? Are you kidding me?

What's wrong with you people?


Marley, that's messed up.

Well, if you were asking me
to marry you,

I'd want that big one.

My fingers are on
the larger side,

and you have to figure,
with my build,

after we have a few babies,

I may put on
a couple of pounds.

Tina, I'm looking
for a ring for Kurt.

He is so lucky.

Those are engagement rings.

That's good because I'm looking
to get engaged.

I am constantly

telling my nieces
and nephews to wear condoms.

It's for my boyfriend.
I'm not pregnant.

He used to be

my boyfriend. It was...
the whole thing,

it's very complicated.
I won't get into it.

But basically,
I love him very much,

and I want to spend
the rest of my life with him,

so I'm going to ask
him to marry me.

Tell me about your man.


Is he your soul mate?

Yes, he is.

I met Liz when we were 18.

It was at a Styx concert

back when they were doing
hard rock,

not this weird robot stuff.

We've been together ever since.

Doesn't matter
how young or old you are.

True love is true love.

My friends have been
giving me so much flak.

If we all had listened,
we wouldn't be moments away

from the Supreme Court
finally telling us

that we are just as crazy
and awesome as everybody else.

Hey, dude.

Don't try to stop me.
I'm doing this, okay?

I love you and I want to support
you, so if you're really

gonna do this, I'm helping
you pick out the ring.

I have, like, the best taste.
Is this him?

No. Oh, no.

I mean, he wants to do me,
but we're just friends.


Would you excuse us
for just a moment?

Yeah, sure.

I don't.

You do want to do me.

Forgive me for being pushy,

but do you have anyone
to advise you on this?

Someone who would
really understand?

Someone... gay?

Not really.

I just want you guys
to see what's possible

when two people
really love each other.

Sound good?

Brittany, have a seat.

We need to chat.

I thought you were teaching
aerobics to fat soccer moms.

Oh, I just stopped
by the teachers' lounge

to retrieve my baby's
placenta in the fridge.

Brittany, Sue and I are

very worried about you.

And we need to know
what's going on.

I refuse to speak to either of
you in this office. It's dusty

and drab and Mr. Shue's
"Teacher of The Year"

picture really creeps me out.
So there's

only one place that I'll talk:

My turf, my rules, my Fondue.

♪ Fondue for two! ♪
♪ Hey!

♪ Fondue for two!
♪ That's some hot dish!

♪ Fondue for two!

Welcome back to Fondue for Two.

Tonight's guests are two sworn
enemies who became friends,

then became enemies again,
then became friends again,

then enemies, and then
everybody stopped caring.

Sue Sylvester
and Will Schuester.

It's great to be here.

Oh, my goodness,

this fondue smells disgusting.

It's like somebody poured
chardonnay on a homeless woman

who'd been dead several days.

Yeah, fantastic.

So, Mr. Shue, is it true
that you and Emma

are finally getting married?

Yeah, it looks like it.

Awesome. Do you plan
on having children,

or just continue to have
weirdly intimate relationships

with high school students
instead of children?

No, we'd like to have kids.

Speaking of kids,
Sue Sylvester,

what if I were to tell you
that I know the true identity

of your baby's
celebrity father?

I would say that's highly unlikely.
What if I were

to tell you that I know for a
fact that it's Michael Bolton?

I would say that you have
no proof.

Well, Michael Bolton played in
a concert in Columbus, Ohio

nine months to the day before
your daughter was born.

Also, Robin's birth certificate
says she was born in.

"Ol' Milton Beach," which is
an anagram for "Michael Bolton."

Also, Michael Bolton has a new
album out, and track number one

is called "So Proud to Be
Your Father, Robin Sylvester."

Michael Bolton and I met in 1994
in Los Angeles

when I punctured his windpipe
with a letter opener

at Kate Mantilini's where
he was having lunch and

I just happened
to be doing my taxes.

He choked after inhaling in
a chunk of his own hair,

and I saved his life.
He's owed me a favor ever since.

And just in case
you're wondering,

Michael Bolton
is a fantastic lover.

Wow. We did it all night, Will.

We did it every which way.


Pick up.

I'm sorry, did,
uh, hell just freeze over

or did you just White Chocolate
butt-dial me?

Hey, look,
I need to talk to you.

Sorry, no can do, Trouts,
I just got back

from a dance class and
I'm already five minutes late

for drinks with this insanely
hot off-Broadway choreographer.

It's about Brittany.

Okay, she broke up with me.

Okay, look, she's been acting
really weird since she met with

those people at MIT, okay? She
even dropped out of regionals.

Okay, and are we sure

it's not just Britney 3.0 Week
in Glee Club?

Look, okay, I know I'm not
your favorite person,

but you also know
that I'd help you

if you ever asked me to.

Something, something's wrong.
I'm asking you for help.

It was love at first Styx,

that's what we always say.

Well, the irony was that we met
at the concert, you know.

We grew up in the same town just a
few blocks from each other. Wow.

We went to the same high school.
You guys are

like a Nora Ephron movie.

Did you go to prom together?

Yeah, well...

Well, we went together
as a group.

We took boys, of course.

Merle and Tommy,
those poor fools.

Merle and Tom. They had no
idea what was going on.

It was different times then,
you know.

There were, there were
no gay clubs at school.

You know, nobody talked about
it. We had no representation.

But somehow
we always found a way.

That summer we went on a bus
tour of the United States.

We saw all the sights.

And in the end we decided
we liked Ohio the best.

Yeah, yeah, came back,
moved in together,

got each other through college,
and we broke up twice,

and got back
together again twice.

And then we bought
the house in Lima.

What haven't
we seen from our porch?



Don't Ask, Don't Tell.


We've seen it all

Remember when we couldn't even
do this in public, hold hands?

Oh, yeah.

You guys are so sweet.

But you know, when I asked you
"How did you guys meet?"

I actually meant,
"How did you meet Blaine?"

Oh! At the mall.

I was clothes shopping with Tina

and we were at the food court
at Sbarro,

and Jan and I just got
to talking.

And I said,
"Why don't we continue this

over dinner at Breadstix?"
We've been coming here 20 years.


30 years? 30. Wow.

We camped out
for the grand opening.

Yes, we did.

Well, I'm glad
you recommended it, Jan.

I mean, it's great and really
inspiring to hear your story.

You know, I know I don't, and we
don't really have too many

gay and lesbian role models
to look up to, so...

You guys are a sweet couple.

Thank you.
Oh, we're not a couple.

Would you have married me
if I had asked you?

I mean, if we were allowed to?

I always said yeah,

as soon as it's legal in Ohio.

It will be.


But in the meantime, there are still
plenty of places where it's legal.

And so, Elizabeth
Margaret Stevens...

...will you legally marry me?

Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Oh, oh!

Oh, honey, yes.

Hey, can we talk?

Why don't you just text me?

I know it was wrong
and I know you're hurt,

but you're taking it
out on everyone,

and that's not fair.
We need you for regionals!

You don't need me, all right?

Jake's a better dancer,
Artie's a better singer,

and Sam's better looking.

Now you're just feeling
sorry for yourself.

We're not competing with
each other, we're a team and...


Why what? I need to know why.
Okay, you say we're

a team, but you've been lying
to me and messing with my head,

and I need some kind of explanation
if I'm gonna go to regionals.


because I know
I'm not your vision of beauty.

Wait. It-It was...?

Yes, I'm Unique aka Wade,

aka Katie, aka Catfish.

Marley, I love you,
but you don't have to cover

for me anymore.

It started
off innocent at first,

and then he started
telling me things,

and it got way
too deep to stop.

And you don't know how long

it's been since I felt this
close to someone

without all of this

getting in the way.

I know you're probably
gonna punch me in the face,

but the truth is, I reached out
to you because I liked you.

So I got a picture
of a cute blonde

to make you like me back.

But all the stories,
all the jokes,

the connection that we had,
that was all me.

And that was all real.

I'm sorry I stayed hidden.

I didn't do it to hurt you.

I just...

I really don't want
to lose what we have.

We don't have anything.

I'm not gonna punch you
in the face.

But I'm also not gonna
talk to you ever again.

♪ fondue for two!

Hello again, and welcome
to yet another

very special episode
of Fondue for Two.

I am joined by my former
lady lover, Santana Lopez.

Let's get started.

Thank you again
for taking the Lima Express

all the way from New York City,
again, to be here.

Well, actually, Britt, I
came here to talk to you,

not do a show, but...

Well, it's the same
thing, so true or false?

Lady Hummel and Grandma Berry
both play bingo down

at the V.A. and knit alpaca
mittens on Saturday nights.

No, no, totally false.

I wish they were that exciting.
Aw, shoot.

But seriously, Britt,
enough is enough.

I'm turning this off.

What are you doing?

Lord Tubbington's a stickler

for continuity in editorial.

Brittany, stop it.

Seriously, what the hell
is going on with you?

You're acting like a
completely different person,

and it's making me sad.

Well, get over it...
sadness is stupid.

Britt, I still care about you.

As a person and as
a friend, and...

this just isn't you.

What I'm about to tell you

is going to change
everything, Santana.

Oh, I made it. Hi.

Sorry... I'm so nervous.

I had to ran and got us some
gummy bears to calm my stomach.

No wonder you're nervous...
you're wearing white.

That's not exactly
your lucky color.

I think you'll find our luck's
about to change, Santana.

I'm gonna go check on the kids.

Ladies and
gentlemen, boys and girls,

welcome to the 2013.

Greater Midwest High School
Show Choir Regionals.

Now, please raise the roof

for our distinguished
panel of judges.

Executive Director of Ohio
State Supermax Penitentiary.

Warden William Bobby!

Wrongfully accused
football legend.

Coach "Fingers" Shafranski.

And Indiana's number one
circus contortionist.

Lady Marvelous!

First up, their parents are rich
and their voices are golden...

From Ziegler Prep in Cincinnati,
it's The Waffle-Toots!

[ ♪ Rainbow Connection ♪
by Kermit the Frog ]

♪ Why are there so many

♪ Songs about rainbows

♪ And what's on the other ♪

♪ Side?

♪ Rainbows

♪ Are visions but only

♪ Illusions

♪ And rainbows

♪ Have nothing

♪ To hide

♪ Someday we'll find it...

Marley was right.

Ryder, thank God.

I'm really only upset
with one person.

It wouldn't be fair to
punish the whole team.

Thank you.

All right.

But, uh... I have done
a lot of thinking.

after regionals is over,

I'm officially
leaving Glee Club.

From North Valley Central High School
in Indianapolis... I'm sorry, Mr. Shue.

...the crossroads of America,
it's the Hoosierdaddies!

[ ♪ Clarity ♪
by Zedd ]

♪ I dive into frozen waves

♪ Where the past comes
back to life ♪

♪ Fight fear
for the selfish pain ♪

♪ It was worth it every time

♪ Hold still
right before we crash ♪

♪ 'Cause we both know
how this ends ♪

♪ A clock ticks
till it breaks your glass ♪

♪ And I drown in you again

♪ 'Cause you are a piece of me

♪ I wish I didn't need

♪ Chasing relentlessly

♪ Still fight
and I don't know why ♪

♪ If our love

♪ Is tragedy

♪ Why are you

♪ My remedy?

♪ If our love's

♪ Insanity, why are you

♪ My clarity?

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Why are you my clarity?

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Why are you my remedy?

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Whoa-oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ Hey, hey! ♪

[ ♪ Wings ♪
by Little Mix ]

♪ Mama told me not

♪ To waste my life

♪ She said, "Spread your wings,
my little butterfly" ♪

♪ "Don't let what
they say keep you up" ♪

♪ "At night, and if they give
you hell" ♪

♪ "Then they can walk on by"

♪ My feet, feet can't
touch the ground ♪

♪ And I can't hear a sound

♪ But you just keep on
running up your mouth, yeah ♪

♪ Walk, walk on over there

♪ 'Cause I'm too fly to care

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Your words don't
mean a thing ♪

♪ I'm not listening

♪ Keep talking, all I know is

♪ Mama told me not
to waste my life ♪

♪ She said,
"Spread your wings" ♪

♪ "My little butterfly"

♪ "Don't let what they say
keep you up at night" ♪

♪ "And they can't detain you
'cause wings are made" ♪

♪ "To fly"

♪ No, we won't let

♪ Nobody bring us down

♪ No matter what you say,
it won't hurt me ♪

♪ Don't matter if I fall
from the sky ♪

♪ These wings are made to fly.


- You came...
- Yeah.

All right, everybody.
Show circle. Come on in.


um, before we go onstage,

I have something I want
to tell you guys.

I got offered
early admission to MIT.

I never thought that I would...

graduate high school, let
alone go to college, so...

I have to jump on this offer
before it gets taken away.

They want me
to leave immediately.

That's why I had that meltdown.

Um... my entire life,

people have always told me
that I was stupid.

And... after a while
I started to believe them.

And it wasn't until...

I walked in this room...

...and I joined this club

that I really started
believing in myself.

And as soon as I did that,
as soon as...

I started believing that maybe
I was smart after all,

I think
the whole world did, too.

And I'm really
gonna miss you guys.

'Cause you guys
are like my family.

Mr. Shue's like our dad.

And Mercedes and Tina

and Sugar and Mercedes,

you guys are all
like my sisters.

And Mike Chang

and Blaine and Jim,
you guys are all

like my brothers.

My name's Joe.
And, Artie,

you're like
the boy next door who...

builds robots in his basement
and who I take his virginity,

and Jake and Marley and Ryder

and Kitty, you guys are
all like the foster kids

who come to live with us
when the orphanage closes

and that we don't trust
at first but we grow to love

just like we do our pets.

And then there's Sam.

The cute boy from the wrong side
of the tracks

who does good impressions
and who I fake marry.

I love you so much, Sam.

I love you, too, Brittany.

I'm really gonna miss you.

I'm gonna miss you.

No cries.

And there's Santana.

Oh, man.

You don't have
to say anything, Brittany.

Okay. No more.

Show circle.


[ ♪ Hall of Fame ♪
by The Scripts ]

♪ Ooh

♪ Yeah, you could be
the greatest ♪

♪ You could be the best,
you could be ♪

♪ The King Kong
banging on your chest ♪

♪ You can beat the world, you
can beat the war, you can ♪

♪ Talk to God,
go banging on his door ♪

♪ You can throw your hands up, you
can beat the clock ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ You can move a mountain,
you can break rocks ♪

♪ You can be a master,
don't wait for luck ♪

♪ Dedicate yourself
and you gonna find yourself ♪

♪ Standing in the hall of fame

♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Oh ♪

♪ And the world's
gonna know your name ♪

♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Oh ♪

♪ 'Cause you burn with the
brightest flame ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ And the world's
gonna know your name

♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Oh ♪

♪ And you'll be on the walls
of the hall of fame ♪

♪ Be a champion

♪ Be a champion...

♪ Be a champion

♪ Be a champion ♪
♪ And you'll be on the walls

♪ Of the hall of fame

♪ Be students, be teachers

♪ Be politicians, be preachers

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ Yeah, come on

♪ Be believers, be leaders

♪ Be astronauts, be champions

♪ Be truth seekers

♪ Be students, be teachers

♪ Be politicians, be preachers

♪ Be preachers...

♪ Be believers, be leaders

♪ Be astronauts, be champions

♪ Hall of fame
♪ You can be the greatest

♪ You can be the best

♪ You can be the King Kong
banging on your chest ♪

♪ You can beat the world,
you can beat the war ♪

♪ You can talk to God,
go banging on his door ♪

♪ You can throw your hands up,
you can beat the clock ♪

♪ You can move a mountain,
you can break rocks ♪

♪ You could be a master,
don't wait for luck ♪

♪ Dedicate yourself
and you will find yourself ♪

♪ Standing
in the hall of fame. ♪

[ ♪ I Love It ♪
by Icona Pop ]

♪ I got this feeling
on a summer day ♪

♪ When you were gone

♪ I crashed my car
into the bridge ♪

♪ I watched, I let it burn

♪ I threw your stuff
into a bag ♪

♪ And pushed it
down the stairs ♪

♪ I crashed my car
into the bridge ♪

♪ I don't care

♪ I love it

♪ I don't care

♪ I got this feeling
on a summer day ♪

♪ When you were gone

♪ I crashed my car
into the bridge ♪

♪ I watched, I let it burn

♪ I threw your stuff
into a bag ♪

♪ And pushed it
down the stairs ♪

♪ I crashed my car
into the bridge ♪

♪ I don't care

♪ I love it

♪ I don't care

♪ I love it

♪ I got this feeling
on a summer day ♪

♪ When you were gone

♪ I crashed my car
into the bridge ♪

♪ I watched, I let it burn

♪ I threw your stuff
into a bag ♪

♪ And pushed it
down the stairs ♪

♪ I crashed my car
into the bridge ♪

♪ I don't care

♪ I love it

♪ I don't care

♪ I love it

♪ I love it, I don't care

♪ I love it

♪ I don't care

♪ I love it!

[ ♪ All or Nothing ♪ ]

♪ I can't stay here

♪ I am not the girl

♪ Who runs and hides

♪ Afraid of what could be

♪ And I will go there

♪ I need time but know

♪ That things are always
closer than they seem ♪

♪ Now I'll do more

♪ Than dream

♪ Yeah

♪ I'm gonna fly

♪ Gonna crash
right through the sky ♪

♪ Gonna touch the stars
♪ Touch the stars

♪ Show everyone ♪ Show everyone

♪ That it's all or nothing

♪ All or nothing

♪ This is my life

♪ I'm not gonna live it twice

♪ There's no in-between
♪ No in-between

♪ Take it to extremes
♪ To extremes

♪ 'Cause it's all or nothing

♪ All or nothing at all

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Yeah

♪ Oh, oh, oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ 'Cause it's all
or nothing at all ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ All or nothing.

One last reminder,
please don't leave your trash

under the seats because
nobody likes a litterbug.

Third place
in the 2013 Greater Midwest.

Show Choir Regionals goes to...

the Waffle-Toots!

Now the moment
we've all been waiting for.

In second place...

...from Indianapolis, Indiana,
the Hoosierdaddies,

and first place goes
to McKinley High New Directions!

McKinley High is officially
on its way to becoming

a regionals dynasty!

Only 24 more of these babies
before we catch up

- to Vocal Adrenaline.
- Oh, please.

Vocal Adrenaline's time
has passed.

The present and the future is
all about the New Directions!

And we are going to prove it
when we go to sunny Los Angeles

for nationals and take home
our second national championship

in a row! That's right.
That's right.

Miss Pillsbury,
who's your friend?

Um, Miss Pillsbury, you're
supposed to bring someone in

to bless the team
before the big game.

Okay. Thank you.

Um, I figured out
that I can't handle the pressure

of a big wedding,
so I told Will,

if we're gonna get married, that
I wanted an intimate ceremony

in a special place surrounded
by the people that we love.

Are you guys seriously
throwing a surprise wedding?

Just like Brooke Burke
and David Charvet?

Yes. No music,
no reception, no planning.

Just me, the one true love
of my life,

and then we'll have
a little dinner at Breadstix.

You're still here.
- I'm here.

Do you guys have

vows prepared?
I knew I forgot something

- and... no.
- No.

Um... Well, hold on. You always get
to make the romantic speeches,

so, um, why don't you
let me do it this time?

I'd love that.
Yeah? Okay.

There was this one day, um,

right around the time
that we first met.

Um, out in the courtyard.

And I had gum stuck

to the bottom of my shoe,

and you scraped it off
with a credit card.

And whenever things in my head

get all gooey and sticky and
messy and I can't get 'em out,

you always come along
and you make me feel clean

and you make me feel
whole again.

Will, just as I know
that the sky is blue,

I know that you and I
are meant to be together.

You are my hero, you are...

my one true love,
you are my inspiration.

I love you, Will Schuester.

I can't
believe this is happening.

I-I remember
that day with the gum.

And the day you chaperoned
the field trip to Carmel High.

And the red coat you wore

when you took the team
to their first sectionals.

I love that coat. I got it on sale.

I remember and notice
everything about you.

You only get one
true love of your life.

And you are mine, Emma.

And I promise you
that as long as you

just keep being you
and-and let me love you,

I will be
the happiest man alive.

And can we just skip to the
"I do" part because I can't...

I can't

spend one more minute

without being
this woman's husband.

Works for me. I have
a reservation at Breadstix, too.

We'll see you there.


do you take Will
to be your husband,

to love and honor, forsaking all
others from this day forward?

I do. I do. I do. I do.


Oh, I definitely do.

By the power vested in me

and all the rest, Will, Emma...

Wemma... I now pronounce you
husband and wife.