Glee (2009–2015): Season 4, Episode 21 - Wonder-ful - full transcript
The Glee Club performs Stevie Wonder's greatest hits. Meanwhile, Artie receives news that could affect his future.
Hey, Mr. Shue, it's Rachel,
how are you?
Rachel, hey, good.
Yeah, just, uh, getting ready
for regionals.
Well, I wanted you to be
the first that I told...
even before Kurt, before
my dads, or even before Finn...
that I had my callback
for Funny Girl this morning.
Wait, did you get Fanny Brice?
Not yet, but it's between me
and two other girls.
Oh, that is
incredible news, Rachel.
Y-You're a shoo-in.
Aw, I just want you to know
that if it does happen,
it's because of you.
Well, if, if I contributed
even a little bit...
Well, you contributed
more than a little.
I sang "Don't Stop Believin'"
for my audition,
and when I sang it,
I thought about that first week
that we were all in Glee Club
and how amazing
we all were together,
and it just brought back
so many emotions,
it made my performance
so powerful,
and, well, you were the one that
put that all together, so...
(sighs)
You okay, Mr. Shue?
Yeah, fine, just allergies.
(chuckles)
(sighs)
Rachel... I'm so proud of you.
Y-You're one of our biggest
success stories,
a-and no matter what happens
with Funny Girl,
I mean, you're in New York,
you're living your dream.
Not many people can say that.
I know,
it's a special
and wonderful thing, so...
And when I'm at Radio City
and I'm accepting my Tony Award
and I forget to thank you, well,
thank you.
Thank you.
(phone beeps off)
(sighs)
4x21
Wonder-ful.
All right, guys, I just got
some wonderful news from Rachel.
She's got a second callback
for Funny Girl.
(cheering)
And that's not
our only good news.
Brittany is at M.I.T.
touring the campus
because she's got
an early acceptance.
That can't be true.
And I re-proposed
to Emma.
She reaccepted, and we're
getting married after regionals.
Yay!
We're excited.
I've got good news, too.
I'm wait-listed at the Columbus
College of Veterinary Medicine.
It's a fallback
if I don't pursue acting.
Bless her heart.
WILL: Tina, that's
not just good news.
It's wonderful,
and that's what this
week is all about.
We're taking a lesson from one
of the greatest musical artists
of all time.
Despite facing a ton of
obstacles,
he's a living example
of embracing...
n-n-no, celebrating...
joy and optimism,
and he's collected
25 Grammys along the way.
So don't you worry 'bout a thing
because whether you're
ebony or ivory,
you are the sunshine of my life.
Yes. And next week at
regionals we will be
jammin' on higher ground.
Yay!
Yeah-yeah,
it's a Stevie Wonder week.
(cheering)
(laughter)
(school bell ringing)
Hey, Crippy
Longstocking, wait up.
You know what?
That's offensive.
Aw, boo hoo.
I have a disability, too.
My disability is
that I can't tell
when something's offensive,
and for you to point
that out is bullying.
Care to share why
you're so depressed?
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Nice try, liar.
You're depressed
and I know why.
When the girls were performing
during Guilty Pleasures Week,
you used those googly,
thyroid-conditioned eyeballs
of yours and ogled me like I
was a Taiwanese streetwalker.
Well, I regret to inform you
that you will never be
climbing all up on this.
Actually that's not
what I was upset about,
but thank you for giving me
something else
to make me depressed.
Aha!
I knew you were depressed
about something.
Yesterday when I got home,
there was an envelope
waiting for me,
and inside was the news
that I got accepted
into the Brooklyn Film Academy.
Wait, are you serious?
Yes, actually I am.
But you know what?
I'm not going.
Why?
Believe it or not,
I don't want to talk about it,
and I'd appreciate it
if you didn't tell anyone.
(school bell ringing)
KURT: Two more days until Dad
gets his test results.
Either all of the stuff
the doctors have been doing
has worked and he's cancer free
or it hasn't.
I have to be there
for the appointment
mostly to translate for Dad.
Why do perfectly intelligent
parents become
completely unreliable when
they have to go to the doctor?
I'm only packing
light blue socks
because light blue is
the color of clear skies,
and that's what I'm hoping for.
Yes, I'm getting a little OCD
leading up to this appointment.
Rachel said it was
a natural response,
just me looking to control
my anxiety in some way.
I figure I need to cut myself
some slack.
So what if I have
a few new rituals
to get me through the day?
Oh, crap, it's 4:14.
I touch my nose three times
at 14 and 28 past the hour
for good luck.
(sighs)
I know every kid is scared
of losing their dad,
but he's the only thing
that got me
through my mom dying,
and if I have to say good-bye
to him, too,
well, I'm not going
to think about it.
(school bell ringing)
Coming back for Dad is also
a perfect excuse
to come see everyone...
and Blaine, of course.
Don't worry,
we're not hooking up this time.
Feels weird seeing him,
still, but not as weird.
I can't tell if that makes me
feel sad or not.
At least I know I won't have
to face this all alone.
Lucky for me, there are a few
other people in town this week
to walk alongside me.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello there.
[ "Signed, Sealed,
Delivered I'm Yours" ]
(cheering)
♪ Oh, hey!
♪ Oh, yeah, baby
♪ Like a fool I went
and stayed too long ♪
♪ Now I'm wondering
if your love's still strong ♪
♪ Ooh, baby
♪ Here I am, signed, sealed,
delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ Hmm
♪ Then that time I went
and said good-bye ♪
♪ Now I'm back
and not ashamed to cry ♪
♪ Ooh, baby
♪ Here I am, signed, sealed,
delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ Oh...
♪ Here I am, baby, oh
♪ Signed ♪
♪ Sealed, delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ You got my future in your hands ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I
♪ Here I am, baby, I ♪ Signed ♪
♪ You got my future in your hands ♪
♪ Sealed, delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ I've done a lot
of foolish things ♪
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
♪ That I really didn't mean, oh, yeah ♪
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
♪ Yeah, didn't I? Oh, baby
♪ Oowee, baby,
set my soul on fire ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh ♪
♪ That's why I know
you're my heart's only desire ♪
♪ Ooh, baby
♪ Here I am, signed, sealed,
delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ Oh...
♪ Here I am, baby, oh
♪ Signed ♪
♪ Sealed, delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ You got my future in your hands, baby ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ Ah
♪ Here I am, baby
♪ Yeah, yeah
♪ Signed, sealed, delivered ♪
♪ Delivered, oh, oh, oh, yeah
♪ I'm yours, baby ♪
♪ Ooh, here I am
♪ Signed, sealed, delivered ♪
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
♪ Yeah, oh
♪ I'm yours.
(cheering)
Seemed like the
perfect Stevie song
to celebrate Artie getting his
acceptance letter into film school.
(gasping) Yeah, bring it.
Signed, sealed, delivered.
That's right.
Well, you know, that may have
been the perfect song,
but that performance
was just one package
that I'm not signing for.
I mean, honestly, it was good,
but you guys have got
to be great for regionals.
Yeah, clearly we should be
taking our advice
from someone
who came crawling back to Ohio
after apparently having
her L.A. dream shattered.
You learn your new lyrics yet?
♪ Do you want fries with that?
MERCEDES: Oh, well, maybe
if you put some
of that sass
in your performance,
your teacher wouldn't have
begged me to come here
and be your new vocal coach.
WILL: Mercedes is one
of the strongest vocalists
in McKinley Glee Club history.
KURT:
So get on point, Kitty,
your little theory about
Mercedes' shattered dreams,
like most of the garbage
that comes out of your mouth,
is wrong.
All right, Mercedes is
back because she has
a new album coming out,
all about home,
and she's come back
to film a video for it.
Wow, Mercedes, that's awesome.
And Mr. Shue asked me to help
choreograph for regionals.
I love you, Mike,
I love all my exes.
But this isn't wonderful
news, it's shocking.
Now we need some guy
to help us dance?
Hashtag Glee Hates Girls.
And what are you here to
lecture us about, Kurt,
our horrible taste in clothing?
My dad has cancer.
Thanks, Tina.
All right, let's take
this whole thing from the top.
Kitty in the back. Marley,
I want you on lead vocals.
(bell rings) All right, come on...
let's go.
Artie. I told you not
to say anything.
Come on, Artie, I just
gave you a big shout-out
in the choir room because you
have a lot to be proud of.
I'm not going, so I have
nothing to be proud of, Kitty.
Thank you
for the effort, though.
Isn't a big film school like
your dream or something?
Tap the brakes, buddy.
My mom is freaking out.
She's taken care of me
my whole life, and it's
scary for her to think of me
in the big city all alone.
New York isn't exactly
wheel-friendly
unless you're a bike messenger.
And why are you being so nice?
Why do you even care?
Duh, I'm trying to be wonderful.
I like to switch it
up, be unpredictable.
Sometimes I'm sweet,
sometimes I'm sour.
Keeps it interesting.
Besides, I know how important
you are to your mom,
but you'd be amazing
in film school.
Just think about it.
(school bell ringing)
(sighs)
All this marriage equality news
is so exciting.
New York.
It's just... it's
gonna be insane.
Isabelle's already consulting
on like, seven
different gay weddings.
It's historic, and soon
I'm going to be
in New York to see it.
By the way, you
look cute today.
And I mean like,
like, dirty-cute.
MERCEDES: The album is
called Hell 2 The No,
based off of the
soon-to-be hit single.
I love it.
But for the music video, Mike,
you know, it's
got to be bumping,
and fast and furious,
but also soulful
and smooth, but like "smoov,"
you know, like
smooth with a "V."
And I want eleganza,
I want club kid sickness,
I want fresh, fresh, fresh.
It's got to pop.
You are so L.A. right now
it's breathless.
Mike knows what I'm
talking about, right?
Oh, I totally know
what you mean.
Don't worry.
I'm all over it.
With what I've learned
at the Joffrey,
I've got new moves so hot
you're gonna want to say.
"Hell to the yes."
Yeah, don't change the brand.
No.
I'm so glad you guys are back
here just before regionals.
We really need you around.
You're gonna nail it, no sweat.
All right, so what's
ing on between you two?
Because it was pretty
boy-on-boy heavy
at the wedding.
We're not together.
Um, but it's cool.
Why did I hear that Tina
did something to you
called the vapo...
Okay, dude, is that
really important right now?
This doesn't matter.
Kurt, your dad
is gonna be fine.
Everything is gonna be okay.
We're here.
Trust.
(sighs) Wow.
Well, Blaine's right,
thank God you guys are here
because we both need you
right now.
I don't know, Bernard.
Sure smells like someone's
getting ready for
a second Funny Girl callback.
Who told you guys about that?
We also know who
your competish is,
and bitches be formidable.
(smacks tongue)
The latest postings
with two-time Tony winner
Sutton Foster.
No, that's impossible.
First of all,
she's on Bunheads,
and she has the wrong nose.
This would be
during her hiatus,
and word around Shubert Alley
is she's looking
into prosthetics,
as is Miss Mamie Gummer,
daughter
of the legendary legend,
Meryl Streep.
What? Can she even sing?
Point is, you better
bring your A game,
and you better
hope no one tells Cassandra
about your extracurricular
activities.
Why? NYADA's students
are allowed
to explore outside
acting opportunities.
Technically,
but you need a teacher
to sign of.
And Cassie July's been
looking for a reason
to destroy and expel you
since day one.
So from where we're standing,
you're not just risking
humiliation at the hands
of one of the Streep girls
by going after Fanny...
You're also risking
the Greek-like wrath
of Cassandra July.
But don't worry,
we sincerely doubt
Cassie July's trolling
the Broadway chat rooms,
keeping tabs
on her most hated student.
Just confirmed, Rachel Berry
is a finalist for Fanny Brice.
We thought you'd want to know
and pray this wins
us your favor.
Mm.
Alright everybody,
let's give it up for Island Beetz
recording artist extraordinaire,
Mercedes Jones.
(cheers and applause)
All right, all right.
Now, I know that Kurt
is going through a lot
this week,
but in spite of that,
we are all very happy
to be here.
As you may remember,
we saw you guys at sectionals,
and there's a reason
that you guys lost.
Fear.
For instance, Marley.
You have got killer vocals,
homegirl, so why is it
that I've never heard you do a
Mercedes Jones-style vocal run?
I don't know. I-I guess
I've just been scared to try.
Exactly. You're scared
to belt it out.
And you're probably afraid
that when you do, I'm gonna test
your breath control
by hitting you in the
solar plexus with this maraca.
All right, give this girl a note
to do a little runnin' with.
(key plays)
♪ Oh...
(grunts) (laughs)
See? If you had
better breath control,
you could probably hold
that note every time.
All right, floppy-headed
bass player,
why don't you give us a little
bit of that spooky Stevie Wonder
bass line to get us moving.
And all of y'all need
to shake out your nerves
and stop being so scared,
and that includes you, Kurt.
I know what you're going
through, and this one's
for you, baby. And, Marley,
I want to hear
those high notes,
and don't be stingy
with those runs.
[ Steve Wonder's "Superstitious" plays]
(cheering)
♪ Very superstitious
♪ Writing's on the wall
♪ Very superstitious
♪ Ladders 'bout to fall
♪ Thirteen-month-old baby,
yeah ♪
♪ Broke the looking glass
♪ Yeah
♪ Seven years
of bad luck, yeah ♪
♪ The good things in your past
♪ Oh
♪ When you believe in things
- ♪ That you don't understand,
then you suffer ♪
- ♪ Don't understand ♪
♪ Superstition ain't the way
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
♪ Ooh, very superstitious
♪ Wash your face and hands
♪ Rid me of the problems
♪ Do all that you can
♪ Keep me in a daydream
♪ Keep me going strong
♪ You don't want to save me
♪ Sad is my song
♪ Oh, whoa ♪
♪ When you believe in things
you don't understand ♪
♪ Then you suffer
♪ Superstition ain't the way
♪ No, no, no, no, no ♪
♪ When you believe in things
♪ That you don't understand
♪ Then you suffer
BOTH:
♪ Superstition ain't the way.
(cheers and applause)
(school bell ringing)
MERCEDES: Hey. Hold up.
Take a big, deep breath
and remember this moment,
Little Puckerman,
because your life
is about to change forever.
Mercedes wants you and me
to be her featured dancers.
You're a triple threat, dude...
you're an amazing singer,
you've got sick dance moves...
And you're sexy as hell.
We think
you're Glee Club's
secret weapon.
You've got to start
being a leader.
I'm just a sophomore.
No. You're gonna twiddle
your sexy thumbs
waiting for some upperclassman
to order you around?
Hell to the no.
You know, Jesus wrote
in the Bible
somewhere, "Do not hide
your light under a bushel."
You've got to let it shine!
Are you gonna argue
with our Lord and Savior Jesus?
I mean, I'm Jewish.
So was he.
You're gonna be in my music
video, and you're gonna start
taking your God-given talent
seriously
because, baby,
you're a damn superstar.
(chuckles)
How long have we been waiting?
I don't know.
Like... 15 minutes.
After a half hour
in the waiting room?
Please tell me that is not
a dark blue T-shirt
under your flannel.
All right, I asked you
not to wear dark colors.
Okay, dark blue
is close to black,
and we all know
what black means.
I don't think my wardrobe
is gonna have any impact
on what the results are.
But you don't know
for sure, okay?
I mean, I asked you
to do one thing.
I am barely keeping it
together, Kurt!
Can you just knock it off please
and sit down?
Hey, Doc,
what's the good word?
You know,
I'm gonna skip the cliches
about my golf game
and get right to it.
As you know, we were
mildly aggressive
with your treatment
considering you were still
in stage I.
We used implant
radiation therapy.
And he completely
changed his diet.
Well, whatever you were doing,
it worked.
The tumor's gone.
What?
Your PSA levels are back to
normal, and you have the prostate
of a 20-year-old according
to your Gleason scores.
Okay, wait, s-so...
you're saying he's cured?
We prefer "in remission"
but in layman's terms, yeah.
(laughing)
Hey! Hey!
Looks like I picked
the right shirt, huh, buddy?
Come on, man! Oh!
(exhales)
BURT: Doc, thank you so much.
Thank you.
Take a moment.
Oh, my God.
(door closes)
I just... I wasn't ready
to leave you guys yet.
Things aren't finished, right?
So much to do.
You getting married,
grandbabies,
having old people sex
with Carole.
Ugh. (Laughs) I'm just so happy.
I'm not going to miss it.
I love you guys.
(whispering) I love you guys.
I don't have cancer.
(murmuring)
All right.
He'll be here.
Any minute, I'm sure. Yeah.
Dad!
Hey.
Hi, everybody.
(cheering)
Good to see you.
Shue. Good to see you, buddy.
Likewise.
How you doing?
What's up, Blaine?
KURT: Well, it's
probably not a surprise
why I asked you
to come here today.
I'm guessing it has
something to do with a song?
Yes. But not just any song.
See, the last time
I dedicated a song
to you in this room,
you were in the hospital.
But today we are celebrating
life's most treasured
and wonderful gift...
a second chance.
See, when I was little,
you used to sing
this song to me
in the car all the time
and it always put
a smile on my face.
So today it's my turn to sing,
and your turn to smile.
I'm already there, kiddo.
[ Stevie Wonder's
"You Are the Sunshine of My Life" ]
♪ You are the sunshine
of my life ♪
♪ That's why I'll always
be around ♪
♪ You are the apple of my eye
♪ Ooh... ooh... ♪
♪ Ooh... ooh... ♪
♪ Forever you'll stay in my heart ♪
♪ Ooh... ooh... ♪
♪ You must have known
that I was lonely ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ Because you came
to my rescue ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
♪ And I know that
this must be heaven ♪
♪ How could so much love
♪ Be inside of you?
♪ Whoa, oh-oh, oh...
♪ You are the sunshine
of my life ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ That's why I'll always
stay around ♪
♪ Mm, mm-mm, mm
♪ You are the apple of my eye
♪ Ah, ah, ah... ♪
♪ Ah... ♪
♪ Forever you'll stay
in my heart ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, oh, oh ♪
♪ Yeah...
♪ Do, do, do, do, do,
do, do... ♪
♪ Do... ♪
♪ Uh huh...
(cheering)
(Burt whoops)
Whoa!
Yeah!
(exhales)
Thank you so much.
...I've had a lot of experience,
honest!
Why, I've been on the stage
since I was ten,
amateur contests,
Gottlieb's Southern
Repertory...
Well, well, if it isn't
Little Miss David Schwimmer.
I'm sorry, I thought
that I reserved this room.
So you could stare at yourself
in the mirror
and run lines for your
Funny Girl callback?
You know this
isn't normal, right?
Running lines in the mirror
isn't a typical step
in the acting process.
Actors less narcissistic
than yourself
actually prefer to rehearse
with other actors.
Who told you about my callback?
Barbra Streisand,
a very close personal friend.
See, I ran into her at Target,
and then in passing
she just said
that a NYADA freshman
who looked like a troll
was slated to read
for producers on Wednesday.
And then I thought to myself,
"Babs can't be talking
about Schwimmer.
Schwimmer has her dance
midterm that day."
Please, Ms. July...
Mm-hmm?
I cannot miss
this callback, okay?
This is a once in
a lifetime opportunity...
Right. I wouldn't dream
of you missing it.
It's a once in a lifetime
opportunity for me, too.
And I plan on attending
that callback.
Because you have
a tendency to choke
under pressure, and so
I'm going to be there...
with Barbra and her husband,
James Brolin...
to watch you blow your first
big Broadway audition.
In the meantime, I'm gonna change
your midterm to tomorrow morning.
What?
You heard me, David.
6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning,
you will perform the solo
of the second act of
Balanchine's
1941 masterpiece
"Concerto Barocco,"
(thunder crashing)
which is widely regarded
as the most difficult ballet
routine ever devised,
while you're widely regarded
as of having one of
the puffiest
morning faces
of any known human.
It's gonna be
a great combination.
(school bell rings)
Since this week is
about wonderful things,
I want to celebrate
a wonderful talent.
He's new to Glee Club this year,
but I think if we all
help him with his confidence,
he can lead us
all the way to nationals.
[Stevie Wonder's "I Wish" ]
Stop being so modest and get
your butt up here, Jake!
(whooping)
♪ Looking back on when I
♪ Was a little
nappy-headed boy ♪
♪ Then my only worry
♪ Was for Christmas,
what would be my toy ♪
♪ Trying your best
to bring the ♪
♪ Water to your eyes
♪ hinking it might stop her
♪ From whooping your behind
♪ I wish those days
♪ Could
♪ Come back once more
♪ Why did those days
♪ Ever have to go
♪ I wish those days could
♪ Come back once more
♪ Why did those days
♪ Ever have to go
♪ 'Cause I loved them so
♪ Doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
♪ Do, do, do, do, do-do-do ♪
♪ Doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
♪ Do, do, do, do-do-do ♪
♪ Smoking cigarettes
♪ And writing something nasty
♪ On the wall
♪ Do, do, do-do-do-do ♪
♪ You nasty boy ♪ Ba, ba, bap ♪
♪ Teacher sends you
to the principal's office ♪
♪ Down the hall
♪ Do, do, do-do-do-do ♪
♪ Do, da-na-na-na ♪
♪ Ba, ba, bap ♪
♪ You grow up and learn that
♪ Kind of thing ain't right
♪ But while you were doin' it
♪ It sure felt out of sight
♪ I wish those days
♪ Could
♪ Come back once more
♪ Why did those days
♪ Ever have to go
♪ I wish
♪ Those days
♪ Could
♪ Come back once more
♪ Why did those days
♪ Ever have to go
♪ Ba, ba, ba ♪
♪ Ba, ba-dap-ba ♪
♪ Bap-ba, da-bap ♪
♪ Bap-ba-ba, da-bap ♪
Wow!
♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba-dap-ba ♪
♪ Oh, oh
♪ Bap-ba, da-bap ♪
♪ Bap-ba-ba, da-bap ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ Ba, ba, ba ♪
♪ Ba, ba-dap-ba ♪
♪ Hey
♪ Bap-ba, da-bap ♪
♪ Ba, ba, ba-dap-ba ♪
♪ Whoa, oh
♪ Do-do, do-do ♪
♪ Do, do, do, do, do-do-do ♪
♪ Do, do, do, do
do-do do-do-do-do. ♪
(cheering, whooping)
This is gonna work.
I just wish Mercedes
was here to see it.
Where is she?
(school bell rings)
What?
Oh, you can try that,
but my uncle Julius
is an attorney
and we will sue you
right back.
No, I don't need a night
to think about it.
(sighs)
Look, I cannot believe
what just happened.
Who was that?
Just my useless "producer."
I thought you liked him.
I did.
When we were in the studio.
♪ Whoa-oh.
I'd say let's have
another go, Mercedes,
but honestly, your voice
was perfection.
So, let's move on
with "Lover on the DL"
if we can, please.
MERCEDES:
Then I got a little skeptical
when we were doing the photo
shoot for my CD's cover art.
Could you just lean forward
a bit there, Mercedes?
And drop that shoulder wrap.
Look, I'm not
comfortable with that,
Martin.
You look like a girl
going to church or the prom.
Not like a girl
who needs to move 100,000 units
just to make a minor splash
in this marketplace.
This is the look.
This is what I'm wearing.
All right.
You heard the lady.
She's the boss.
Now they're saying my CD
is off of their
release schedule
until I agree to another photo shoot.
(sighs)
One showing more skin.
What? Screw him.
Oh, and he said he'd be happy
to use another girl's picture.
On your CD?
The one that you
are singing on?
Oh, hell to the no.
They don't want me.
They just want my voice,
not my whole person.
You know, it's crazy, guys.
I'm going to be
dealing with this
the rest of my career.
Everyone is gonna
want me to look
like Beyoncé, and no one
is gonna be satisfied
with me, Mercedes Jones.
And they're crazy, and
you don't want to be
in business with
people like that.
You're not actually
considering it, are you?
I've been working on
this album for a year.
I need it to come out.
Look, I'm sorry, guys.
I don't what I'm gonna do,
but I need to talk to my mom
about this hot mess.
(sighs)
Mom, I'm home.
Hi, Artie.
Yeah, hey, Artie.
Guess I beat you here,
and I guess I beat
you to telling your
mom about your good news.
Honey, why would you hide
something like that from me?
So much for your lies.
Your mom's completely
on board with you going
to Brooklyn Film Academy,
by the way.
I thought you were
a lot of things,
but I didn't peg you
for a wuss.
I guess you two have
a lot to talk about.
(door opens, closes) All right,
why would you tell people
that I'm afraid
to let you go to New York?
Because I'm afraid to go, okay?
I just thought it'd be easier
to blame it on you.
Well, you've never been afraid
of anything in your life.
Because my life has been
pretty sheltered.
Because you built that
ramp that I just rolled down
so I could get
in the living room.
Because you converted the den
into my bedroom
so I didn't have to go upstairs.
Because you built that
bathroom add-on...
Artie, you did those things.
They were all your suggestions.
I didn't know how
to handle your needs.
So you adapted and you will
adapt in New York.
So what's the real reason
you don't want to go?
I don't want to leave you alone.
Ever since the accident,
you've devoted every spare
moment to taking care of me.
And it just feels selfish
that the thanks I give
is packing up and leaving.
Oh, honey,
that's exactly what I want.
You have been dreaming
about making movies
since you were a kid.
You're going.
I love you.
I love you, too.
And if you ever imply again
that I'm an old hag...
...I'm gonna tip you over.
Right.
Going to New York.
I don't know what
to say, Schwimmer,
I'm in a hell of a mood today.
So when you do inevitably
faceflop like a ragdoll,
at least, I don't know,
try to make me laugh.
You know what?
You've been wrong
about me all year,
and you're gonna be
wrong about me again.
What's this?
This is your midterm.
I don't understand.
This is NYADA. We are
the best of the best,
and make no mistake,
will crush you
to get the role ourselves.
But we are also family,
we get through it together,
and we celebrate each other
when there's big news.
And this is big news.
You've danced your way
through the fire all year,
and you're still standing tall.
So we are gonna get you through
this midterm
so you can go kick
some NYADA ass
at your first
big Broadway callback!
(cheering)
[ Steve Wonder's
"Uptight Everything's Alright" ]
♪ Baby, everything
is all right ♪
♪ Uptight, out of sight
♪ Baby, everything
is all right ♪
♪ Uptight, out of sight
♪ I'm a poor man's son from
across the railroad track ♪
♪ The only shirt
I own is hanging on my back ♪
♪ But I'm the envy
of every single guy ♪
♪ Since I'm the apple
of my girl's eye ♪
♪ When we go out stepping
on the town for a while ♪
♪ My money's low
and my suit's out of style ♪
♪ But it's all right
if my clothes aren't new ♪
♪ Out of sight, because
my heart is true ♪
♪ She says, "Baby,
everything is all right ♪"
♪ Uptight, out of sight"
♪ Baby, everything
is all right ♪
♪ Uptight, clean out of sight
♪ Whoo... whoo-oo-oo
♪ Whoo-oo-oo
♪ She's a pearl of a girl
♪ I guess that's what
you might say ♪
♪ I guess her folks
brought her up that way ♪
♪ The right side of the tracks,
she was born and raised ♪
♪ In a great big old house,
full of butlers and maids ♪
♪ She says, "Baby,
everything is all right ♪"
♪ Uptight, clean out of sight"
♪ Whoo! ♪
♪ Baby, everything
is all right ♪
♪ Uptight, clean out of sight
♪ Whoo! ♪
♪ Baby, everything
is all right ♪
♪ Uptight, ah-ha-ha-ha, yeah
♪ Whoo! ♪
♪ Baby, everything
is all right ♪
♪ Uptight, way out of sight
♪ Baby!
(song ends, all cheer)
Oh, my God, I was so surprise.
(excited chattering)
(excited chattering)
All right, everyone.
Ah, all right. Sit down.
So, today's lesson...
Well, I was gonna say "truth,"
but it's about this
crazy-ass business
that a lot of us
want to get into.
If you're gonna tell us to not
even try 'cause it's too hard...
No, no, I'm just saying
be ready.
You know, when I graduated,
a producer said he wanted
to do a CD of my music,
which, oh, my God,
that's been my dream
since before I even sat
in this room.
Turns out, he only wanted
to do that on his terms.
So I had a choice to make:
I could do it his way and get
there a lot faster,
or I could do it my way,
and maybe never,
never even make it.
So I talked go my parents
and my friends,
and I made a decision.
It's my voice, Martin.
Those are my songs.
They tell my story.
I'm not gonna spend all
this time working on my truth,
and then have you slap something
that doesn't even represent
the real me on its cover.
So, I don't have
a record deal anymore,
but I do have a record, which
I'll be giving to all of you,
and selling at a table in front
of my church and out of my car,
and on Amazon, so,
whatever happens, at least
I was true to myself.
And you will have gotten there
by taking... and you know
it's coming...
the higher ground. Hit it!
[ Steve Wonder's
"Higher Ground" ]
(cheering)
(band, including horns,
joins in)
Ooh, child this is happiness.
♪ People keep on learnin'
♪ Soldiers keep on warrin'
♪ World keep on turnin'
♪ 'Cause it won't be too long
♪ Oh, no
♪ No-oh, oh-oh
♪ I'm so darn glad
he let me try it again ♪
♪ 'Cause my last time on earth
I lived a whole world of sin ♪
♪ I'm so glad that I know more
than I knew then ♪
♪ Gonna keep on tryin'
♪ Till I reach
the highest ground ♪
♪ Oh, oh-,
whoa-oh, oh-oh, yeah ♪
(whoops)
♪ Lovers keep on lovin'
♪ Believers keep
on believin', yeah ♪
♪ Sleepers just stop sleepin' ♪
♪ 'Cause it won't be too long
(whoops)
♪ Oh, no
♪ Yeah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah
♪ I'm so darn glad
he let me try it again ♪
♪ 'Cause my last time on earth
I lived a whole world of sin ♪
♪ I'm so glad that I know more
than I knew then ♪
♪ Gonna keep on tryin'
♪ Till I reach
my highest ground ♪
♪ Yeah, ah-ah, yeah
♪ Oh
♪ Till I reach
my highest ground ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, no
♪ God is gonna show you
higher ground. ♪
(cheering)
Oh, she's back!
She's back!
(school bell rings)
Oh, thank you, everybody.
(footsteps approaching)
Anderson, you wanted to see me?
You're not going to sing
to me, too, are you?
I just wanted to give you this.
You can open it.
I thought maybe you
could wear it at work
to show support
for gay marriage.
Oh, it's really sweet of you.
Gay rights has been
my top issue,
even though it makes me
wildly unpopular
with my distinguished
colleagues.
They're on the wrong side
of history, so screw 'em.
(box snaps shut)
I am so glad
that you feel that way,
because assuming
that we legally can,
um, I wanted to formally ask
for your permission
to ask Kurt to marry me.
You kidding, or you nuts?
Kurt is my soul mate.
I know that I've
hurt him badly,
but I also know
that if I want to get him back,
I have to do something bold.
Blaine,
it means a lot to me
that you love Kurt,
and you know,
you've been like family to me...
So, you' saying that you're okay
with me asking for his hand?
Oh, of course not.
No, you're still kids.
Did you learn anything
from Finn and Rachel?
They are completely different.
Completely different.
I don't think
that you understand
how it feels
to finally be able
to legally get married.
And you don't really get
what it is to be married.
Straight, gay, whatever.
It's not the same
as living together.
Blaine, listen,
let's sit down for a second.
Seriously, come here.
Look, I can't tell you why,
but something happens
when you exchange vows.
It's a big deal.
It's why getting divorce is
so much harder than breaking up.
There's just
a really big difference
between marrying a person
and marrying an idea.
What if he meets someone else?
You think you two were meant to be?
Yes.
Do you think you two
have a true love? Yes!
Then stop worrying.
I got to go.
Thanks for the pin.
Sure.
Hey...
it's gonna be okay.
How do you know that, though?
When two people love each other
like you two do...
...everything works out.
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yes.
(whooping and cheering)
All right, let's review.
What are y'all gonna
do at regionals?
Riff, run and grunt!
Emote!
Commit!
Step up to the plate
and embrace our talent.
And just like my boo
Miss Mercedes Jones,
we're gonna treat
every note we sing
and every breath we take
with a little
something-something
we in the business of show
simply call "passion."
And passion can be
a scary thing,
but we shouldn't run
or hide from it because
passion is...
it's wonderful, yo.
Auditorium,
4:00 p.m. sharp.
I got a little jam
I'm gonna sing for all y'alls!
And you best believe it's gonna
be sung with... say what?!
ALL:
Passion!
Yes!
Thank you.
Yes!
What's that?
It's a gift.
I got it at the
Broadway Flea Market.
It is Debbie Allen's original
cane from Fame... the movie.
Hmm. I wanted to thank
you for what you did.
The number?
That's NYADA tradition.
We do that when one of the tribe
gets a Broadway audition.
Not the number.
I wanted to
thank you for everything that
you've done for me this year.
So... thank you.
I've busted your ass
since September.
You made me a better dancer.
And that's why I came to NYADA,
to learn and be challenged,
and to work with the
best of the best.
I saw something in you.
That first day,
and I thought to myself,
"This one's special.
This one might make it."
And that's why
I'm so relentless.
Even the whole Brody thing?
Well, that was
because of his abs.
What? But yours are
so much better.
When's your callback?
Oh, it's next week.
I am so nervous, Miss July.
I've never wanted anything
more in my whole life.
You're gonna get it.
I know you will, Rachel.
(school bell rings)
What's up?
This is going to take
a lot of courage,
considering our, um,
complicated history,
and all the emotions
involved, so...
um, I'm-I'm just gonna say it.
Go ahead, you get kind of cute
when you get nervous.
Hmm... I...
wanted to ask you if...
well, will you...
maybe s-stick around
for regionals?
Oh! Oh, yeah, of course.
Yeah, Mercedes and I
already talked about it.
We want to stick around and root
you guys on at the competition.
Yeah, we wouldn't miss
it for the world.
Great.
Yeah.
You know I would've said yes.
Right?
I know...
What a wonderful,
wonderful week.
And with you in it,
a wonderful life.
[ Stevie Wonder's
"For Once in My Life" ]
♪ For once in my life
♪ I have someone who needs me ♪
♪ Someone I've needed so long
♪ For once unafraid
♪ I can go where life leads me
♪ Somehow I know
I'll be strong ♪
♪ For once I can touch
♪ What my heart
used to dream of ♪
♪ Long before I knew
♪ Whoa-oh
♪ Someone warm like you
♪ Would make my dreams
come true ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
♪ For once in my life ♪
♪ For once in my life
♪ I won't let sorrow hurt me ♪
♪ Not like it's hurt me before
♪ Not like it's hurt before ♪
♪ For once I have something
♪ I know won't desert me
♪ I'm not alone anymore
♪ I'm not alone anymore ♪
♪ For once I can say
♪ This is mine
you can't take it ♪
♪ As long as I know
♪ I have love I can make it ♪
♪ For once in my life
♪ I have someone who needs me
♪ Someone who needs me ♪
♪ Ha, ha, hey, yeah
♪ Someone who needs me ♪
♪ Oh, baby, love,
for once in my life ♪
♪ I won't let sorrow hurt me ♪
♪ Not like it's hurt me before
♪ Not like it's hurt before ♪
♪ For once I have something
♪ I know won't desert me
♪ I'm not alone anymore
♪ I'm not alone anymore ♪
♪ For once I can say
♪ This is mine
you can't take it ♪
♪ As long as I know
♪ I have love I can make it
♪ For once in my life
♪ I have someone who needs me
♪ Someone who needs me ♪
♪ Oh
♪ For once in my life
♪ Someone who needs me ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ Somebody that needs me
♪ Someone who needs me ♪
♪ Ooh, baby
♪ For once in my life
♪ Someone who needs me ♪
♪ Oh, baby, for once in my life. ♪
how are you?
Rachel, hey, good.
Yeah, just, uh, getting ready
for regionals.
Well, I wanted you to be
the first that I told...
even before Kurt, before
my dads, or even before Finn...
that I had my callback
for Funny Girl this morning.
Wait, did you get Fanny Brice?
Not yet, but it's between me
and two other girls.
Oh, that is
incredible news, Rachel.
Y-You're a shoo-in.
Aw, I just want you to know
that if it does happen,
it's because of you.
Well, if, if I contributed
even a little bit...
Well, you contributed
more than a little.
I sang "Don't Stop Believin'"
for my audition,
and when I sang it,
I thought about that first week
that we were all in Glee Club
and how amazing
we all were together,
and it just brought back
so many emotions,
it made my performance
so powerful,
and, well, you were the one that
put that all together, so...
(sighs)
You okay, Mr. Shue?
Yeah, fine, just allergies.
(chuckles)
(sighs)
Rachel... I'm so proud of you.
Y-You're one of our biggest
success stories,
a-and no matter what happens
with Funny Girl,
I mean, you're in New York,
you're living your dream.
Not many people can say that.
I know,
it's a special
and wonderful thing, so...
And when I'm at Radio City
and I'm accepting my Tony Award
and I forget to thank you, well,
thank you.
Thank you.
(phone beeps off)
(sighs)
4x21
Wonder-ful.
All right, guys, I just got
some wonderful news from Rachel.
She's got a second callback
for Funny Girl.
(cheering)
And that's not
our only good news.
Brittany is at M.I.T.
touring the campus
because she's got
an early acceptance.
That can't be true.
And I re-proposed
to Emma.
She reaccepted, and we're
getting married after regionals.
Yay!
We're excited.
I've got good news, too.
I'm wait-listed at the Columbus
College of Veterinary Medicine.
It's a fallback
if I don't pursue acting.
Bless her heart.
WILL: Tina, that's
not just good news.
It's wonderful,
and that's what this
week is all about.
We're taking a lesson from one
of the greatest musical artists
of all time.
Despite facing a ton of
obstacles,
he's a living example
of embracing...
n-n-no, celebrating...
joy and optimism,
and he's collected
25 Grammys along the way.
So don't you worry 'bout a thing
because whether you're
ebony or ivory,
you are the sunshine of my life.
Yes. And next week at
regionals we will be
jammin' on higher ground.
Yay!
Yeah-yeah,
it's a Stevie Wonder week.
(cheering)
(laughter)
(school bell ringing)
Hey, Crippy
Longstocking, wait up.
You know what?
That's offensive.
Aw, boo hoo.
I have a disability, too.
My disability is
that I can't tell
when something's offensive,
and for you to point
that out is bullying.
Care to share why
you're so depressed?
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Nice try, liar.
You're depressed
and I know why.
When the girls were performing
during Guilty Pleasures Week,
you used those googly,
thyroid-conditioned eyeballs
of yours and ogled me like I
was a Taiwanese streetwalker.
Well, I regret to inform you
that you will never be
climbing all up on this.
Actually that's not
what I was upset about,
but thank you for giving me
something else
to make me depressed.
Aha!
I knew you were depressed
about something.
Yesterday when I got home,
there was an envelope
waiting for me,
and inside was the news
that I got accepted
into the Brooklyn Film Academy.
Wait, are you serious?
Yes, actually I am.
But you know what?
I'm not going.
Why?
Believe it or not,
I don't want to talk about it,
and I'd appreciate it
if you didn't tell anyone.
(school bell ringing)
KURT: Two more days until Dad
gets his test results.
Either all of the stuff
the doctors have been doing
has worked and he's cancer free
or it hasn't.
I have to be there
for the appointment
mostly to translate for Dad.
Why do perfectly intelligent
parents become
completely unreliable when
they have to go to the doctor?
I'm only packing
light blue socks
because light blue is
the color of clear skies,
and that's what I'm hoping for.
Yes, I'm getting a little OCD
leading up to this appointment.
Rachel said it was
a natural response,
just me looking to control
my anxiety in some way.
I figure I need to cut myself
some slack.
So what if I have
a few new rituals
to get me through the day?
Oh, crap, it's 4:14.
I touch my nose three times
at 14 and 28 past the hour
for good luck.
(sighs)
I know every kid is scared
of losing their dad,
but he's the only thing
that got me
through my mom dying,
and if I have to say good-bye
to him, too,
well, I'm not going
to think about it.
(school bell ringing)
Coming back for Dad is also
a perfect excuse
to come see everyone...
and Blaine, of course.
Don't worry,
we're not hooking up this time.
Feels weird seeing him,
still, but not as weird.
I can't tell if that makes me
feel sad or not.
At least I know I won't have
to face this all alone.
Lucky for me, there are a few
other people in town this week
to walk alongside me.
Hi.
Hi.
Hello there.
[ "Signed, Sealed,
Delivered I'm Yours" ]
(cheering)
♪ Oh, hey!
♪ Oh, yeah, baby
♪ Like a fool I went
and stayed too long ♪
♪ Now I'm wondering
if your love's still strong ♪
♪ Ooh, baby
♪ Here I am, signed, sealed,
delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ Hmm
♪ Then that time I went
and said good-bye ♪
♪ Now I'm back
and not ashamed to cry ♪
♪ Ooh, baby
♪ Here I am, signed, sealed,
delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ Oh...
♪ Here I am, baby, oh
♪ Signed ♪
♪ Sealed, delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ You got my future in your hands ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ I
♪ Here I am, baby, I ♪ Signed ♪
♪ You got my future in your hands ♪
♪ Sealed, delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ I've done a lot
of foolish things ♪
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
♪ That I really didn't mean, oh, yeah ♪
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
♪ Yeah, didn't I? Oh, baby
♪ Oowee, baby,
set my soul on fire ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh ♪
♪ That's why I know
you're my heart's only desire ♪
♪ Ooh, baby
♪ Here I am, signed, sealed,
delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ Oh...
♪ Here I am, baby, oh
♪ Signed ♪
♪ Sealed, delivered, I'm yours ♪
♪ You got my future in your hands, baby ♪
♪ Baby ♪
♪ Ah
♪ Here I am, baby
♪ Yeah, yeah
♪ Signed, sealed, delivered ♪
♪ Delivered, oh, oh, oh, yeah
♪ I'm yours, baby ♪
♪ Ooh, here I am
♪ Signed, sealed, delivered ♪
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba ♪
♪ Yeah, oh
♪ I'm yours.
(cheering)
Seemed like the
perfect Stevie song
to celebrate Artie getting his
acceptance letter into film school.
(gasping) Yeah, bring it.
Signed, sealed, delivered.
That's right.
Well, you know, that may have
been the perfect song,
but that performance
was just one package
that I'm not signing for.
I mean, honestly, it was good,
but you guys have got
to be great for regionals.
Yeah, clearly we should be
taking our advice
from someone
who came crawling back to Ohio
after apparently having
her L.A. dream shattered.
You learn your new lyrics yet?
♪ Do you want fries with that?
MERCEDES: Oh, well, maybe
if you put some
of that sass
in your performance,
your teacher wouldn't have
begged me to come here
and be your new vocal coach.
WILL: Mercedes is one
of the strongest vocalists
in McKinley Glee Club history.
KURT:
So get on point, Kitty,
your little theory about
Mercedes' shattered dreams,
like most of the garbage
that comes out of your mouth,
is wrong.
All right, Mercedes is
back because she has
a new album coming out,
all about home,
and she's come back
to film a video for it.
Wow, Mercedes, that's awesome.
And Mr. Shue asked me to help
choreograph for regionals.
I love you, Mike,
I love all my exes.
But this isn't wonderful
news, it's shocking.
Now we need some guy
to help us dance?
Hashtag Glee Hates Girls.
And what are you here to
lecture us about, Kurt,
our horrible taste in clothing?
My dad has cancer.
Thanks, Tina.
All right, let's take
this whole thing from the top.
Kitty in the back. Marley,
I want you on lead vocals.
(bell rings) All right, come on...
let's go.
Artie. I told you not
to say anything.
Come on, Artie, I just
gave you a big shout-out
in the choir room because you
have a lot to be proud of.
I'm not going, so I have
nothing to be proud of, Kitty.
Thank you
for the effort, though.
Isn't a big film school like
your dream or something?
Tap the brakes, buddy.
My mom is freaking out.
She's taken care of me
my whole life, and it's
scary for her to think of me
in the big city all alone.
New York isn't exactly
wheel-friendly
unless you're a bike messenger.
And why are you being so nice?
Why do you even care?
Duh, I'm trying to be wonderful.
I like to switch it
up, be unpredictable.
Sometimes I'm sweet,
sometimes I'm sour.
Keeps it interesting.
Besides, I know how important
you are to your mom,
but you'd be amazing
in film school.
Just think about it.
(school bell ringing)
(sighs)
All this marriage equality news
is so exciting.
New York.
It's just... it's
gonna be insane.
Isabelle's already consulting
on like, seven
different gay weddings.
It's historic, and soon
I'm going to be
in New York to see it.
By the way, you
look cute today.
And I mean like,
like, dirty-cute.
MERCEDES: The album is
called Hell 2 The No,
based off of the
soon-to-be hit single.
I love it.
But for the music video, Mike,
you know, it's
got to be bumping,
and fast and furious,
but also soulful
and smooth, but like "smoov,"
you know, like
smooth with a "V."
And I want eleganza,
I want club kid sickness,
I want fresh, fresh, fresh.
It's got to pop.
You are so L.A. right now
it's breathless.
Mike knows what I'm
talking about, right?
Oh, I totally know
what you mean.
Don't worry.
I'm all over it.
With what I've learned
at the Joffrey,
I've got new moves so hot
you're gonna want to say.
"Hell to the yes."
Yeah, don't change the brand.
No.
I'm so glad you guys are back
here just before regionals.
We really need you around.
You're gonna nail it, no sweat.
All right, so what's
ing on between you two?
Because it was pretty
boy-on-boy heavy
at the wedding.
We're not together.
Um, but it's cool.
Why did I hear that Tina
did something to you
called the vapo...
Okay, dude, is that
really important right now?
This doesn't matter.
Kurt, your dad
is gonna be fine.
Everything is gonna be okay.
We're here.
Trust.
(sighs) Wow.
Well, Blaine's right,
thank God you guys are here
because we both need you
right now.
I don't know, Bernard.
Sure smells like someone's
getting ready for
a second Funny Girl callback.
Who told you guys about that?
We also know who
your competish is,
and bitches be formidable.
(smacks tongue)
The latest postings
with two-time Tony winner
Sutton Foster.
No, that's impossible.
First of all,
she's on Bunheads,
and she has the wrong nose.
This would be
during her hiatus,
and word around Shubert Alley
is she's looking
into prosthetics,
as is Miss Mamie Gummer,
daughter
of the legendary legend,
Meryl Streep.
What? Can she even sing?
Point is, you better
bring your A game,
and you better
hope no one tells Cassandra
about your extracurricular
activities.
Why? NYADA's students
are allowed
to explore outside
acting opportunities.
Technically,
but you need a teacher
to sign of.
And Cassie July's been
looking for a reason
to destroy and expel you
since day one.
So from where we're standing,
you're not just risking
humiliation at the hands
of one of the Streep girls
by going after Fanny...
You're also risking
the Greek-like wrath
of Cassandra July.
But don't worry,
we sincerely doubt
Cassie July's trolling
the Broadway chat rooms,
keeping tabs
on her most hated student.
Just confirmed, Rachel Berry
is a finalist for Fanny Brice.
We thought you'd want to know
and pray this wins
us your favor.
Mm.
Alright everybody,
let's give it up for Island Beetz
recording artist extraordinaire,
Mercedes Jones.
(cheers and applause)
All right, all right.
Now, I know that Kurt
is going through a lot
this week,
but in spite of that,
we are all very happy
to be here.
As you may remember,
we saw you guys at sectionals,
and there's a reason
that you guys lost.
Fear.
For instance, Marley.
You have got killer vocals,
homegirl, so why is it
that I've never heard you do a
Mercedes Jones-style vocal run?
I don't know. I-I guess
I've just been scared to try.
Exactly. You're scared
to belt it out.
And you're probably afraid
that when you do, I'm gonna test
your breath control
by hitting you in the
solar plexus with this maraca.
All right, give this girl a note
to do a little runnin' with.
(key plays)
♪ Oh...
(grunts) (laughs)
See? If you had
better breath control,
you could probably hold
that note every time.
All right, floppy-headed
bass player,
why don't you give us a little
bit of that spooky Stevie Wonder
bass line to get us moving.
And all of y'all need
to shake out your nerves
and stop being so scared,
and that includes you, Kurt.
I know what you're going
through, and this one's
for you, baby. And, Marley,
I want to hear
those high notes,
and don't be stingy
with those runs.
[ Steve Wonder's "Superstitious" plays]
(cheering)
♪ Very superstitious
♪ Writing's on the wall
♪ Very superstitious
♪ Ladders 'bout to fall
♪ Thirteen-month-old baby,
yeah ♪
♪ Broke the looking glass
♪ Yeah
♪ Seven years
of bad luck, yeah ♪
♪ The good things in your past
♪ Oh
♪ When you believe in things
- ♪ That you don't understand,
then you suffer ♪
- ♪ Don't understand ♪
♪ Superstition ain't the way
♪ Hey, yeah ♪
♪ Ooh, very superstitious
♪ Wash your face and hands
♪ Rid me of the problems
♪ Do all that you can
♪ Keep me in a daydream
♪ Keep me going strong
♪ You don't want to save me
♪ Sad is my song
♪ Oh, whoa ♪
♪ When you believe in things
you don't understand ♪
♪ Then you suffer
♪ Superstition ain't the way
♪ No, no, no, no, no ♪
♪ When you believe in things
♪ That you don't understand
♪ Then you suffer
BOTH:
♪ Superstition ain't the way.
(cheers and applause)
(school bell ringing)
MERCEDES: Hey. Hold up.
Take a big, deep breath
and remember this moment,
Little Puckerman,
because your life
is about to change forever.
Mercedes wants you and me
to be her featured dancers.
You're a triple threat, dude...
you're an amazing singer,
you've got sick dance moves...
And you're sexy as hell.
We think
you're Glee Club's
secret weapon.
You've got to start
being a leader.
I'm just a sophomore.
No. You're gonna twiddle
your sexy thumbs
waiting for some upperclassman
to order you around?
Hell to the no.
You know, Jesus wrote
in the Bible
somewhere, "Do not hide
your light under a bushel."
You've got to let it shine!
Are you gonna argue
with our Lord and Savior Jesus?
I mean, I'm Jewish.
So was he.
You're gonna be in my music
video, and you're gonna start
taking your God-given talent
seriously
because, baby,
you're a damn superstar.
(chuckles)
How long have we been waiting?
I don't know.
Like... 15 minutes.
After a half hour
in the waiting room?
Please tell me that is not
a dark blue T-shirt
under your flannel.
All right, I asked you
not to wear dark colors.
Okay, dark blue
is close to black,
and we all know
what black means.
I don't think my wardrobe
is gonna have any impact
on what the results are.
But you don't know
for sure, okay?
I mean, I asked you
to do one thing.
I am barely keeping it
together, Kurt!
Can you just knock it off please
and sit down?
Hey, Doc,
what's the good word?
You know,
I'm gonna skip the cliches
about my golf game
and get right to it.
As you know, we were
mildly aggressive
with your treatment
considering you were still
in stage I.
We used implant
radiation therapy.
And he completely
changed his diet.
Well, whatever you were doing,
it worked.
The tumor's gone.
What?
Your PSA levels are back to
normal, and you have the prostate
of a 20-year-old according
to your Gleason scores.
Okay, wait, s-so...
you're saying he's cured?
We prefer "in remission"
but in layman's terms, yeah.
(laughing)
Hey! Hey!
Looks like I picked
the right shirt, huh, buddy?
Come on, man! Oh!
(exhales)
BURT: Doc, thank you so much.
Thank you.
Take a moment.
Oh, my God.
(door closes)
I just... I wasn't ready
to leave you guys yet.
Things aren't finished, right?
So much to do.
You getting married,
grandbabies,
having old people sex
with Carole.
Ugh. (Laughs) I'm just so happy.
I'm not going to miss it.
I love you guys.
(whispering) I love you guys.
I don't have cancer.
(murmuring)
All right.
He'll be here.
Any minute, I'm sure. Yeah.
Dad!
Hey.
Hi, everybody.
(cheering)
Good to see you.
Shue. Good to see you, buddy.
Likewise.
How you doing?
What's up, Blaine?
KURT: Well, it's
probably not a surprise
why I asked you
to come here today.
I'm guessing it has
something to do with a song?
Yes. But not just any song.
See, the last time
I dedicated a song
to you in this room,
you were in the hospital.
But today we are celebrating
life's most treasured
and wonderful gift...
a second chance.
See, when I was little,
you used to sing
this song to me
in the car all the time
and it always put
a smile on my face.
So today it's my turn to sing,
and your turn to smile.
I'm already there, kiddo.
[ Stevie Wonder's
"You Are the Sunshine of My Life" ]
♪ You are the sunshine
of my life ♪
♪ That's why I'll always
be around ♪
♪ You are the apple of my eye
♪ Ooh... ooh... ♪
♪ Ooh... ooh... ♪
♪ Forever you'll stay in my heart ♪
♪ Ooh... ooh... ♪
♪ You must have known
that I was lonely ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ Because you came
to my rescue ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh
♪ And I know that
this must be heaven ♪
♪ How could so much love
♪ Be inside of you?
♪ Whoa, oh-oh, oh...
♪ You are the sunshine
of my life ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ That's why I'll always
stay around ♪
♪ Mm, mm-mm, mm
♪ You are the apple of my eye
♪ Ah, ah, ah... ♪
♪ Ah... ♪
♪ Forever you'll stay
in my heart ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, oh, oh ♪
♪ Yeah...
♪ Do, do, do, do, do,
do, do... ♪
♪ Do... ♪
♪ Uh huh...
(cheering)
(Burt whoops)
Whoa!
Yeah!
(exhales)
Thank you so much.
...I've had a lot of experience,
honest!
Why, I've been on the stage
since I was ten,
amateur contests,
Gottlieb's Southern
Repertory...
Well, well, if it isn't
Little Miss David Schwimmer.
I'm sorry, I thought
that I reserved this room.
So you could stare at yourself
in the mirror
and run lines for your
Funny Girl callback?
You know this
isn't normal, right?
Running lines in the mirror
isn't a typical step
in the acting process.
Actors less narcissistic
than yourself
actually prefer to rehearse
with other actors.
Who told you about my callback?
Barbra Streisand,
a very close personal friend.
See, I ran into her at Target,
and then in passing
she just said
that a NYADA freshman
who looked like a troll
was slated to read
for producers on Wednesday.
And then I thought to myself,
"Babs can't be talking
about Schwimmer.
Schwimmer has her dance
midterm that day."
Please, Ms. July...
Mm-hmm?
I cannot miss
this callback, okay?
This is a once in
a lifetime opportunity...
Right. I wouldn't dream
of you missing it.
It's a once in a lifetime
opportunity for me, too.
And I plan on attending
that callback.
Because you have
a tendency to choke
under pressure, and so
I'm going to be there...
with Barbra and her husband,
James Brolin...
to watch you blow your first
big Broadway audition.
In the meantime, I'm gonna change
your midterm to tomorrow morning.
What?
You heard me, David.
6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning,
you will perform the solo
of the second act of
Balanchine's
1941 masterpiece
"Concerto Barocco,"
(thunder crashing)
which is widely regarded
as the most difficult ballet
routine ever devised,
while you're widely regarded
as of having one of
the puffiest
morning faces
of any known human.
It's gonna be
a great combination.
(school bell rings)
Since this week is
about wonderful things,
I want to celebrate
a wonderful talent.
He's new to Glee Club this year,
but I think if we all
help him with his confidence,
he can lead us
all the way to nationals.
[Stevie Wonder's "I Wish" ]
Stop being so modest and get
your butt up here, Jake!
(whooping)
♪ Looking back on when I
♪ Was a little
nappy-headed boy ♪
♪ Then my only worry
♪ Was for Christmas,
what would be my toy ♪
♪ Trying your best
to bring the ♪
♪ Water to your eyes
♪ hinking it might stop her
♪ From whooping your behind
♪ I wish those days
♪ Could
♪ Come back once more
♪ Why did those days
♪ Ever have to go
♪ I wish those days could
♪ Come back once more
♪ Why did those days
♪ Ever have to go
♪ 'Cause I loved them so
♪ Doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
♪ Do, do, do, do, do-do-do ♪
♪ Doo-doo, doo-doo ♪
♪ Do, do, do, do-do-do ♪
♪ Smoking cigarettes
♪ And writing something nasty
♪ On the wall
♪ Do, do, do-do-do-do ♪
♪ You nasty boy ♪ Ba, ba, bap ♪
♪ Teacher sends you
to the principal's office ♪
♪ Down the hall
♪ Do, do, do-do-do-do ♪
♪ Do, da-na-na-na ♪
♪ Ba, ba, bap ♪
♪ You grow up and learn that
♪ Kind of thing ain't right
♪ But while you were doin' it
♪ It sure felt out of sight
♪ I wish those days
♪ Could
♪ Come back once more
♪ Why did those days
♪ Ever have to go
♪ I wish
♪ Those days
♪ Could
♪ Come back once more
♪ Why did those days
♪ Ever have to go
♪ Ba, ba, ba ♪
♪ Ba, ba-dap-ba ♪
♪ Bap-ba, da-bap ♪
♪ Bap-ba-ba, da-bap ♪
Wow!
♪ Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba-dap-ba ♪
♪ Oh, oh
♪ Bap-ba, da-bap ♪
♪ Bap-ba-ba, da-bap ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ Ba, ba, ba ♪
♪ Ba, ba-dap-ba ♪
♪ Hey
♪ Bap-ba, da-bap ♪
♪ Ba, ba, ba-dap-ba ♪
♪ Whoa, oh
♪ Do-do, do-do ♪
♪ Do, do, do, do, do-do-do ♪
♪ Do, do, do, do
do-do do-do-do-do. ♪
(cheering, whooping)
This is gonna work.
I just wish Mercedes
was here to see it.
Where is she?
(school bell rings)
What?
Oh, you can try that,
but my uncle Julius
is an attorney
and we will sue you
right back.
No, I don't need a night
to think about it.
(sighs)
Look, I cannot believe
what just happened.
Who was that?
Just my useless "producer."
I thought you liked him.
I did.
When we were in the studio.
♪ Whoa-oh.
I'd say let's have
another go, Mercedes,
but honestly, your voice
was perfection.
So, let's move on
with "Lover on the DL"
if we can, please.
MERCEDES:
Then I got a little skeptical
when we were doing the photo
shoot for my CD's cover art.
Could you just lean forward
a bit there, Mercedes?
And drop that shoulder wrap.
Look, I'm not
comfortable with that,
Martin.
You look like a girl
going to church or the prom.
Not like a girl
who needs to move 100,000 units
just to make a minor splash
in this marketplace.
This is the look.
This is what I'm wearing.
All right.
You heard the lady.
She's the boss.
Now they're saying my CD
is off of their
release schedule
until I agree to another photo shoot.
(sighs)
One showing more skin.
What? Screw him.
Oh, and he said he'd be happy
to use another girl's picture.
On your CD?
The one that you
are singing on?
Oh, hell to the no.
They don't want me.
They just want my voice,
not my whole person.
You know, it's crazy, guys.
I'm going to be
dealing with this
the rest of my career.
Everyone is gonna
want me to look
like Beyoncé, and no one
is gonna be satisfied
with me, Mercedes Jones.
And they're crazy, and
you don't want to be
in business with
people like that.
You're not actually
considering it, are you?
I've been working on
this album for a year.
I need it to come out.
Look, I'm sorry, guys.
I don't what I'm gonna do,
but I need to talk to my mom
about this hot mess.
(sighs)
Mom, I'm home.
Hi, Artie.
Yeah, hey, Artie.
Guess I beat you here,
and I guess I beat
you to telling your
mom about your good news.
Honey, why would you hide
something like that from me?
So much for your lies.
Your mom's completely
on board with you going
to Brooklyn Film Academy,
by the way.
I thought you were
a lot of things,
but I didn't peg you
for a wuss.
I guess you two have
a lot to talk about.
(door opens, closes) All right,
why would you tell people
that I'm afraid
to let you go to New York?
Because I'm afraid to go, okay?
I just thought it'd be easier
to blame it on you.
Well, you've never been afraid
of anything in your life.
Because my life has been
pretty sheltered.
Because you built that
ramp that I just rolled down
so I could get
in the living room.
Because you converted the den
into my bedroom
so I didn't have to go upstairs.
Because you built that
bathroom add-on...
Artie, you did those things.
They were all your suggestions.
I didn't know how
to handle your needs.
So you adapted and you will
adapt in New York.
So what's the real reason
you don't want to go?
I don't want to leave you alone.
Ever since the accident,
you've devoted every spare
moment to taking care of me.
And it just feels selfish
that the thanks I give
is packing up and leaving.
Oh, honey,
that's exactly what I want.
You have been dreaming
about making movies
since you were a kid.
You're going.
I love you.
I love you, too.
And if you ever imply again
that I'm an old hag...
...I'm gonna tip you over.
Right.
Going to New York.
I don't know what
to say, Schwimmer,
I'm in a hell of a mood today.
So when you do inevitably
faceflop like a ragdoll,
at least, I don't know,
try to make me laugh.
You know what?
You've been wrong
about me all year,
and you're gonna be
wrong about me again.
What's this?
This is your midterm.
I don't understand.
This is NYADA. We are
the best of the best,
and make no mistake,
will crush you
to get the role ourselves.
But we are also family,
we get through it together,
and we celebrate each other
when there's big news.
And this is big news.
You've danced your way
through the fire all year,
and you're still standing tall.
So we are gonna get you through
this midterm
so you can go kick
some NYADA ass
at your first
big Broadway callback!
(cheering)
[ Steve Wonder's
"Uptight Everything's Alright" ]
♪ Baby, everything
is all right ♪
♪ Uptight, out of sight
♪ Baby, everything
is all right ♪
♪ Uptight, out of sight
♪ I'm a poor man's son from
across the railroad track ♪
♪ The only shirt
I own is hanging on my back ♪
♪ But I'm the envy
of every single guy ♪
♪ Since I'm the apple
of my girl's eye ♪
♪ When we go out stepping
on the town for a while ♪
♪ My money's low
and my suit's out of style ♪
♪ But it's all right
if my clothes aren't new ♪
♪ Out of sight, because
my heart is true ♪
♪ She says, "Baby,
everything is all right ♪"
♪ Uptight, out of sight"
♪ Baby, everything
is all right ♪
♪ Uptight, clean out of sight
♪ Whoo... whoo-oo-oo
♪ Whoo-oo-oo
♪ She's a pearl of a girl
♪ I guess that's what
you might say ♪
♪ I guess her folks
brought her up that way ♪
♪ The right side of the tracks,
she was born and raised ♪
♪ In a great big old house,
full of butlers and maids ♪
♪ She says, "Baby,
everything is all right ♪"
♪ Uptight, clean out of sight"
♪ Whoo! ♪
♪ Baby, everything
is all right ♪
♪ Uptight, clean out of sight
♪ Whoo! ♪
♪ Baby, everything
is all right ♪
♪ Uptight, ah-ha-ha-ha, yeah
♪ Whoo! ♪
♪ Baby, everything
is all right ♪
♪ Uptight, way out of sight
♪ Baby!
(song ends, all cheer)
Oh, my God, I was so surprise.
(excited chattering)
(excited chattering)
All right, everyone.
Ah, all right. Sit down.
So, today's lesson...
Well, I was gonna say "truth,"
but it's about this
crazy-ass business
that a lot of us
want to get into.
If you're gonna tell us to not
even try 'cause it's too hard...
No, no, I'm just saying
be ready.
You know, when I graduated,
a producer said he wanted
to do a CD of my music,
which, oh, my God,
that's been my dream
since before I even sat
in this room.
Turns out, he only wanted
to do that on his terms.
So I had a choice to make:
I could do it his way and get
there a lot faster,
or I could do it my way,
and maybe never,
never even make it.
So I talked go my parents
and my friends,
and I made a decision.
It's my voice, Martin.
Those are my songs.
They tell my story.
I'm not gonna spend all
this time working on my truth,
and then have you slap something
that doesn't even represent
the real me on its cover.
So, I don't have
a record deal anymore,
but I do have a record, which
I'll be giving to all of you,
and selling at a table in front
of my church and out of my car,
and on Amazon, so,
whatever happens, at least
I was true to myself.
And you will have gotten there
by taking... and you know
it's coming...
the higher ground. Hit it!
[ Steve Wonder's
"Higher Ground" ]
(cheering)
(band, including horns,
joins in)
Ooh, child this is happiness.
♪ People keep on learnin'
♪ Soldiers keep on warrin'
♪ World keep on turnin'
♪ 'Cause it won't be too long
♪ Oh, no
♪ No-oh, oh-oh
♪ I'm so darn glad
he let me try it again ♪
♪ 'Cause my last time on earth
I lived a whole world of sin ♪
♪ I'm so glad that I know more
than I knew then ♪
♪ Gonna keep on tryin'
♪ Till I reach
the highest ground ♪
♪ Oh, oh-,
whoa-oh, oh-oh, yeah ♪
(whoops)
♪ Lovers keep on lovin'
♪ Believers keep
on believin', yeah ♪
♪ Sleepers just stop sleepin' ♪
♪ 'Cause it won't be too long
(whoops)
♪ Oh, no
♪ Yeah-ah, ah-ah, ah-ah, ah
♪ I'm so darn glad
he let me try it again ♪
♪ 'Cause my last time on earth
I lived a whole world of sin ♪
♪ I'm so glad that I know more
than I knew then ♪
♪ Gonna keep on tryin'
♪ Till I reach
my highest ground ♪
♪ Yeah, ah-ah, yeah
♪ Oh
♪ Till I reach
my highest ground ♪
♪ Oh, yeah, no
♪ God is gonna show you
higher ground. ♪
(cheering)
Oh, she's back!
She's back!
(school bell rings)
Oh, thank you, everybody.
(footsteps approaching)
Anderson, you wanted to see me?
You're not going to sing
to me, too, are you?
I just wanted to give you this.
You can open it.
I thought maybe you
could wear it at work
to show support
for gay marriage.
Oh, it's really sweet of you.
Gay rights has been
my top issue,
even though it makes me
wildly unpopular
with my distinguished
colleagues.
They're on the wrong side
of history, so screw 'em.
(box snaps shut)
I am so glad
that you feel that way,
because assuming
that we legally can,
um, I wanted to formally ask
for your permission
to ask Kurt to marry me.
You kidding, or you nuts?
Kurt is my soul mate.
I know that I've
hurt him badly,
but I also know
that if I want to get him back,
I have to do something bold.
Blaine,
it means a lot to me
that you love Kurt,
and you know,
you've been like family to me...
So, you' saying that you're okay
with me asking for his hand?
Oh, of course not.
No, you're still kids.
Did you learn anything
from Finn and Rachel?
They are completely different.
Completely different.
I don't think
that you understand
how it feels
to finally be able
to legally get married.
And you don't really get
what it is to be married.
Straight, gay, whatever.
It's not the same
as living together.
Blaine, listen,
let's sit down for a second.
Seriously, come here.
Look, I can't tell you why,
but something happens
when you exchange vows.
It's a big deal.
It's why getting divorce is
so much harder than breaking up.
There's just
a really big difference
between marrying a person
and marrying an idea.
What if he meets someone else?
You think you two were meant to be?
Yes.
Do you think you two
have a true love? Yes!
Then stop worrying.
I got to go.
Thanks for the pin.
Sure.
Hey...
it's gonna be okay.
How do you know that, though?
When two people love each other
like you two do...
...everything works out.
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yes.
(whooping and cheering)
All right, let's review.
What are y'all gonna
do at regionals?
Riff, run and grunt!
Emote!
Commit!
Step up to the plate
and embrace our talent.
And just like my boo
Miss Mercedes Jones,
we're gonna treat
every note we sing
and every breath we take
with a little
something-something
we in the business of show
simply call "passion."
And passion can be
a scary thing,
but we shouldn't run
or hide from it because
passion is...
it's wonderful, yo.
Auditorium,
4:00 p.m. sharp.
I got a little jam
I'm gonna sing for all y'alls!
And you best believe it's gonna
be sung with... say what?!
ALL:
Passion!
Yes!
Thank you.
Yes!
What's that?
It's a gift.
I got it at the
Broadway Flea Market.
It is Debbie Allen's original
cane from Fame... the movie.
Hmm. I wanted to thank
you for what you did.
The number?
That's NYADA tradition.
We do that when one of the tribe
gets a Broadway audition.
Not the number.
I wanted to
thank you for everything that
you've done for me this year.
So... thank you.
I've busted your ass
since September.
You made me a better dancer.
And that's why I came to NYADA,
to learn and be challenged,
and to work with the
best of the best.
I saw something in you.
That first day,
and I thought to myself,
"This one's special.
This one might make it."
And that's why
I'm so relentless.
Even the whole Brody thing?
Well, that was
because of his abs.
What? But yours are
so much better.
When's your callback?
Oh, it's next week.
I am so nervous, Miss July.
I've never wanted anything
more in my whole life.
You're gonna get it.
I know you will, Rachel.
(school bell rings)
What's up?
This is going to take
a lot of courage,
considering our, um,
complicated history,
and all the emotions
involved, so...
um, I'm-I'm just gonna say it.
Go ahead, you get kind of cute
when you get nervous.
Hmm... I...
wanted to ask you if...
well, will you...
maybe s-stick around
for regionals?
Oh! Oh, yeah, of course.
Yeah, Mercedes and I
already talked about it.
We want to stick around and root
you guys on at the competition.
Yeah, we wouldn't miss
it for the world.
Great.
Yeah.
You know I would've said yes.
Right?
I know...
What a wonderful,
wonderful week.
And with you in it,
a wonderful life.
[ Stevie Wonder's
"For Once in My Life" ]
♪ For once in my life
♪ I have someone who needs me ♪
♪ Someone I've needed so long
♪ For once unafraid
♪ I can go where life leads me
♪ Somehow I know
I'll be strong ♪
♪ For once I can touch
♪ What my heart
used to dream of ♪
♪ Long before I knew
♪ Whoa-oh
♪ Someone warm like you
♪ Would make my dreams
come true ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
♪ For once in my life ♪
♪ For once in my life
♪ I won't let sorrow hurt me ♪
♪ Not like it's hurt me before
♪ Not like it's hurt before ♪
♪ For once I have something
♪ I know won't desert me
♪ I'm not alone anymore
♪ I'm not alone anymore ♪
♪ For once I can say
♪ This is mine
you can't take it ♪
♪ As long as I know
♪ I have love I can make it ♪
♪ For once in my life
♪ I have someone who needs me
♪ Someone who needs me ♪
♪ Ha, ha, hey, yeah
♪ Someone who needs me ♪
♪ Oh, baby, love,
for once in my life ♪
♪ I won't let sorrow hurt me ♪
♪ Not like it's hurt me before
♪ Not like it's hurt before ♪
♪ For once I have something
♪ I know won't desert me
♪ I'm not alone anymore
♪ I'm not alone anymore ♪
♪ For once I can say
♪ This is mine
you can't take it ♪
♪ As long as I know
♪ I have love I can make it
♪ For once in my life
♪ I have someone who needs me
♪ Someone who needs me ♪
♪ Oh
♪ For once in my life
♪ Someone who needs me ♪
♪ Yeah
♪ Somebody that needs me
♪ Someone who needs me ♪
♪ Ooh, baby
♪ For once in my life
♪ Someone who needs me ♪
♪ Oh, baby, for once in my life. ♪