Glee (2009–2015): Season 4, Episode 16 - Feud - full transcript

The students give Will and Finn an assignment to work out the tension between them. Meanwhile, Santana is suspicious about Brody's side job.

Emma, stop, stop, stop.

Emma's left the building.

She say anything
about me?

No, why would she?
Because I kissed her.

Mr. Shue, Finn,

thank you for agreeing
to this sit-down.

We've all noticed the tension
between you ever since Finn

admitted he kissed
Miss Pillsbury.

Sorry I'm late.
Huge line up at the Lima Bean,

but here are the lattes that
Mr. Shue made me get everybody.

Um, I asked for two pumps
of mocha, Finn.

I taste three. Take 'em back.

All of them.

I'm sorry, Mr. Shue, but all
I did was pick up the vests.

I didn't... What's most upsetting
is you actually think

these vests are clean,

that it's okay
to turn in subpar work.

No surprise.
Finn has been acting

like he's losing his mind.

Great job, Ryder!
See that, guys?

Prowess on the football field
and a terrific singing voice

are not mutually exclusive.
I can't take it anymore!

Okay, it's bad enough you're
treating me like your lackey,

but I'm not gonna sit here
while you fake-compliment Ryder

just to hurt me!

You're feuding.
And it needs to stop.

Seriously. It's like
Hatfields and McCoys in here.

So epic musical feuds
is our theme.

And for the first time in Glee
Club history, we are giving you,

our fearless leaders,
an assignment.

You two will explore
and resolve your differences

by performing a song together

by a classic musical rivalry.

Regionals are coming up,

Mr. Shue, and if we're gonna
have any chance of winning,

we need both of you.
On the same page and on the same team.

False alarm.

Thank God. I'm so happy.

I'm so glad
this is all over with.

Thank you for taking me here today.

All right,
I'm gonna go to class.

Whoa, hey. That's it?

That's all you have
to say about this?

Well, the doctor gave me the
all-clear. What else is there?

Rachel, you can't just blow past
this like nothing ever happened.

This is a wake-up call.
This is an opportunity

for you to take a hard look
at the choices

that you're making,
where your life is heading.

Starting with Donkey Face.

Hey, I'm Dallas.
What's your name?

Uh, Gunnar.

Dude, relax.

I've seen you here
the past few weeks.

Look around.
We're not exactly alone.

Look, this isn't a
real thing for me, okay?

It's... I need it
for my tuition, you know?

Hey, man, I'm sure everyone
has a legit reason to be here.

Speaking of.
We'll talk about it.

♪ Rule number one

♪ Is that you gotta have fun

♪ But, baby, when you're done

♪ You gotta be
the first to run ♪

♪ Rule number two

♪ Just don't get
attached to... ♪

♪ Somebody you could lose

♪ So le-let me tell you

♪ This is how
to be a heartbreaker ♪

♪ Boys-- they like
a little danger ♪

♪ We'll get him falling
for a stranger, a player ♪

♪ Singing "I lo-lo-love you"

At least I think I do.

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ 'Cause I lo-lo-love you

♪ Girls-- we do
whatever it will take ♪

♪ 'Cause girls don't want

♪ We don't want our hearts
to break... in two ♪

♪ So it's better to be fake

♪ Can't risk losing
in love again, babe ♪

♪ This is how
to be a heartbreaker ♪

♪ Boys-- they like
a little danger ♪

♪ We'll get him falling
for a stranger, a player ♪

♪ Singing "I lo-lo-love you"

♪ How to be a heartbreaker

♪ Boys-- they like the look
of danger ♪

♪ We'll get him falling
for a stranger, a player ♪

♪ Singing I lo-lo-love you

♪ At least I think I do

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

♪ 'Cause I lo-lo-love you.

At least I think I do.

You know
we only take cash, right?

Young Burt Reynolds,
may I gently remind you

that on Wednesday, December 5,
you joined the Cheerios!

but you've been conspicuously
absent from practice

since Thursday, December 6.

We've told you,
we only joined for a day

when we thought
Glee Club was disbanding.

And yet you signed
this legally binding contract

that clearly states
on page 43, paragraph 7C-9:

"Blaine Devon Anderson will
provide said Cheerios! duty

"at any and all pep rallies,
assemblies, town meetings,

"state fairs, concerts,
television programs,

"motion pictures, video games,

Republican national

I never signed that.

Well, that's funny, because
your signature says you did.

That's a forgery.
And you can't prove that.

I probably could.

Cheerios! Regionals
is fast approaching,

and I need a shiny,
sexually non-threatening gay

to hoist up some
of the most gorgeous girls

in America over his head,

have a bird's-eye view
of their baby oven,

and not be even remotely

And that would be you.

Thank you, but I'm just
too busy with Glee Club

and Student Council.

If you need me back,
I guess I could do it.

Why are you even here?

You called me out of class.

You're dismissed.

Go find a new boyfriend.

Maybe Lance Bass is available.

Or RuPaul.

Suit up, soldier.

I'll help you put it on.

No, thank you, Becky. I'm-I'm
not rejoining the Cheerios!

Oh, you most certainly are.

Or something very unfortunate
will most likely

be happening to you
extremely soon.

Are you threatening me?

Uh, yeah!

Get moving, beeyatch!

Last questions:
bear versus shark?


Onion rings versus
French fries?

French fries are
the world's best food.

There's nothing
you could put up

against French fries
that could win.

I swear those are all

the exact same answers
I would have given.

I can't believe we've only
known each other for a week.

And I'm so glad you can look
beyond my spelling mistakes.

It feels like so much more
than that, though.

I mean, in a week,
I feel like I've told you

more than I've told to anyone
else in my entire life.

Uh, yeah. No. Me, too

You even know
about my Star Wars sheets.

Anything interesting
happening at school today?

You could say that...

Hello, poser.

Say what?

Say what a jerk-knuckle you are
for messing with my girl

and putting that big old
square head in her face.

Marley likes Jake.

And we in Glee Club
like that two-for-one combo.

This is kind of none
of your business.

Did you not notice that I'm
sitting on different sides

of the choir room.
He won't speak to her.

Dude, back off.

Who are you calling a dude?
I am no dude.

So what are you then?
I am a proud black woman.

No, you're a dude.

He was way out of line.

Didn't you tell me it was
Feud Week in Glee Club?

Well, get your aggression
out through song.

Challenge him to a duel.

Has anyone ever told you
you're kind of a genius?

Later, baby.

We need
to do something muscular,

like Biggie versus Tupac.
Now, we know how that ended.

Look, we don't need to do this
stupid assignment, Mr. Shue.

Don't act like you're above
these kids, Finn.

Not that long ago,
you were one of them.

We can just talk.

Unless you have
some stunning new revelation

about why you kissed
my bride-to-be,

I've already heard everything
you have to say.

Besides, I don't think
you could take it.

I can take it.


I put you in charge
of the Glee Club, Finn...

not because you were
a national champion

and not because
you were qualified

with something
like a teaching degree,

or even a single college credit,

for that matter.

I gave you the Glee Club
because you were lost;

you just got dumped
by your girlfriend;

you flunked out of the army;

and the real truth is
I just took pity on you.


Yeah. You wanted to talk.

Yeah, I did,
but I didn't think...

So I put all this trust in you

so that you can get back
on your feet,

and what do you do?

You betray me
in the worst way possible.

You broke the code
of a brother, Finn.

I know that.
And I'm so sorry.

Sorry's not gonna cut it.

So start thinking of some
of the nastiest music feuds

you can come up with

because we are doing
this assignment.

And I'm gonna kick your ass.

Well, well, well, I see

that of Donkey Face's crap
is still here.

And if Donkey Face's crap
is here,

then that means that
he must be as well.

Lay off of it, Santana, all right?

I told you, he said
that he got a job

as a cater waiter on the side,

and he was embarrassed about it,
so he kept it a secret.

Why? I mean, if he can
make that much cash

slinging sweaty cold cuts

and room temp champagne,
then we should all apply there.

Hey, look, he's just trying
to make it in New York

the same way that you and I are.

I don't why that is so hard
for you to understand.

You keep trying
to bring him down.

Look, at this point it's less
about him than it is about you.

I went to school
with Rachel Berry.

Not the soggy mess of a woman
that stands before me today,

going back and forth between
your flop high school ex

and that terrifying "waiter with a pager."

You need to stop
and focus, Berry.

I think you're wrong about him.

My psychic Mexican third eye
is never wrong.

Am I wrong about you?

♪ Oh, so typical

♪ I'm the type
who will get so critical ♪

♪ So let's make

♪ Things physical

♪ I won't treat you
like you're oh, so typical ♪


I know you're behind this.

Sorry I yelled,
Gay Blaine, here.

Oh, Cover Boy hair gel.

This is really expensive.

Thanks, Becky.

It's cement.

And someone took out
30 credit cards

and a house loan in my name.

My identity's been stolen.
My parents' credit is ruined.

Only for seven years.

But that sign.

That sign!

Come on.

That's completely inexcusable.

And it's not true.

Not really-- this officially
a feud between you and me.

And there's only one way
to solve it.

A sing-off featuring the music
of two feuding superstars?

Oh, I read all about it

Fine. Nicki Minaj
versus Mariah Carey.

I will sing Nicki,

due to my Trinidad roots.

And if you win the challenge,

I'll tear up your
Cheerios! contract.

Fine, perfect.

But that will never,
ever happen

because you are looking
into the face of...


I was going to say
high school cheerleading

national champion,
but thank you.

I don't think it's fair that
you're pissed at me about this.

I didn't do anything.

You let him kiss you.

What was I supposed to do?

It's not like he took
a running start.

You're supposed
to not let him think

that it was even a possibility.

Fine, I'll own that.

I haven't minded the fact

that both of you are into me.

And I certainly
didn't discourage him,

which wasn't fair to him

or to you.

But are you telling me
that you've

completely stopped flirting
with other girls?

I would never do anything.

So if some Cheerio you're
uncontrollably flirting with

suddenly decides to kiss you,
you're just gonna

backflip out of the way
before her lips

touch yours?

So what are we even
talking about here?

Are you seriously worried that
I'm gonna leave you for Ryder?

I don't know.
I mean, he kicked butt

with all this
Valentine's Day stuff

and he's like two inches taller
than what I am.

I'm not.

I won't.

I love you
and that means something to me.

It's not just words.

Well, are you afraid that
I'm gonna leave you for someone?

Not as much anymore.


Because it's me and you
against the world.

Especially Ryder.

I mean, I thought he was
a good dude, but...

he's not a friend.

You need to ice him out.

I can't do that.

I mean, you can stay mad at him

if you want, but I have
to be more forgiving.

How can you do that to me?

It's gonna tick me off
every time I see you

talking to him.
Do you trust me?

Do you believe that I love you?

Yes, but...

Then it doesn't matter
who I talk to.

Because no matter
where I am or what I'm doing,

I'm with you.

♪ I was justified

♪ When I was five

♪ Raising Cain

♪ I spit in your eye

♪ Times are changing

♪ Now the poor get fat

♪ But the fever's
gonna catch you ♪

♪ When the bitch gets back

♪ I'm gonna dress you up
in my love ♪
♪ In my love ♪

♪ All over, all over

♪ All over your body ♪

♪ Gonna dress you up
in my love ♪

♪ All over your body,
all over your body ♪

♪ Eat meat on a Friday,
that's all right ♪

♪ I even like steak
on a Saturday night ♪

♪ I can bitch the best
at your social dues ♪

♪ I get high in the evening,
sniffing pots of glue ♪

♪ I'm gonna dress you up
in my love ♪

♪ In my love ♪

♪ All over, all over

♪ The bitch is back ♪

♪ Gonna dress you up

♪ In my love

♪ In my love,
all over, all over ♪

♪ From your head
down to your toes ♪

♪ I entertain
by picking brains ♪

♪ My love
♪ I sell my soul

♪ By dropping names

♪ You don't like those,
my God ♪

♪ In my love
♪ What's that

♪ Oh, it's full
of nasty habits ♪

♪ When the bitch gets back

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Oh, I'll dress you up ♪

♪ Dress you up in my love,
in my love ♪

♪ All over, all over ♪

♪ In my love ♪

♪ Gonna dress you up
in my love ♪

♪ Gonna dress you up
in my love ♪

♪ All over your body ♪

♪ Gonna dress you up
in my love ♪

♪ Dress you up in my love

♪ Gonna dress you up
in my love ♪

♪ Gonna dress
you up in my love ♪

♪ In my love

♪ All over your body ♪

♪ In my love

♪ Gonna dress you up
in my love ♪

♪ The bitch is back


Wow, guys, that was incredible.

What inspired that mashup?

I mean, the thing was feuds
so we just...

So Unique demanded mediation.

Might I suggest doing an
Elton John/Madonna mashup?

Madonna finally forgave
Elton John for calling her

"a fairground stripper"

and saying that
her career was over,

but their decade-long
feud was epic.

Unique is, was, and ever
shall be Madonna.

He can try
to be Sir Elton, but...

you ain't got it.

Well, the awesome things
about feuds is

that once all the anger
has gotten out,

you can shake on it and
let bygones be bygones.

Unique would happily shake
Ryder's hand, but first...

say I'm a girl.

Look, I'm just
so confused, okay?

Yesterday you're dressed
as a boy; today you're a girl.

What-what bathroom
do you use?

I mean, make up your mind.

It doesn't matter what you see.

You don't get to decide for me.

You are a douchebag, dude.

I mean, in this room we can
be whatever we want to be.

Becky, it's no secret

you are Nicki Minaj's biggest fan.


Inside voice, Becky.

I need your expert advice.

Now I've got wigs in every shade

of Jell-O,

and costumes
from Lima's Circus Museum,

but if I am going
to win this feud--

and I must win this feud--

I can't just be a mere mirage
of Minaj, no.

I must become her.

Easy, Coach.
Practice your Minaj face.

I think you said,
"Practice your Minaj face."


Great, moving on.
Most important...

I'm one step ahead of you, Becky.

It's time to perfect my Nicki-


crazy-pants threat.

I'm not putting up
with Your Highness.

It's off with your head.

Don't you call me a gangster.

Every time you patronize me,

I will take it back.

Leave me alone.

I will knock you out.

Getting there, Coach.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Two, four,


Come on, guys, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, please.

This is not gonna cut it
with Cassie, okay?

Let's do it from the top.

Just don't get
too close, girls.

Unless you're immune

to the herps.

Take five.

How did you get in here?

Don't apply logic to Lopez.

And if what I just saw
is any indication,

I can get in here
any time I want.

I've got moves your
mannequin ass couldn't handle.

Do you know what
your problem is, Santana?

You're loud and you're rude,

and you think
that attitude equals talent.

Another thing I am:
a hardcore friend.

Rachel and Kurt
are my family,

and I can smell
your sketchiness from here.

So let me tell you
how it's gonna be.

You're gonna move out
of our apartment tonight

or I can dig a little deeper
and destroy you.

You're all talk and no proof.

Don't need proof.

I know exactly what you are.

Yo, fly girls, can
I get some backup?

If you're any kind of dancer,
this one should be

in your bones.

♪ He's a coldhearted snake

♪ Girl ♪

♪ Look into his eyes

♪ Uh-oh, girl, don't play
the fool now ♪

♪ You're the one
giving up the love ♪

♪ Any time he needs it

♪ But you turn your back

♪ And then he's off
and running with the crowd ♪

♪ You're the one to sacrifice

♪ Anything to please him

♪ Do you really think he thinks
about you when he's out ♪

♪ He's a coldhearted snake

♪ Girl, look into his eyes

♪ Uh-oh

♪ He's been telling lies

♪ He's a lover boy

♪ At play, girl

♪ He don't play by rules

♪ Oh-oh, uh-oh

♪ Girl, don't play the fool now ♪

♪ It was only late last night

♪ He was out there sneakin'

♪ Then he called to check that
you were waitin' by the phone ♪

♪ All the world's
a candy store ♪

♪ He's been trick or treatin'

♪ When it comes to true love,
girl, with him ♪

♪ There's no one home

♪ He's a coldhearted snake

♪ Girl, look into his eyes

♪ Uh-oh, he's been
telling lies ♪

♪ He's a lover boy at play

♪ Girl, he don't play by rules

♪ Oh-oh, uh-oh, girl,
don't play the fool now ♪

♪ You can find
somebody better, girl ♪

♪ He's c-cold as ice

♪ As cold as ice

♪ He's cold as ice

♪ He's cold as ice ♪

♪ Stay away from him, girl

♪ C-C-Coldhearted

♪ Ooh, ah, ah

♪ C-C-C-Coldhearted snake

♪ He's a coldhearted snake

♪ Look into his eyes

♪ Uh-oh

♪ He's been telling lies

♪ He's a lover boy at play

♪ He don't play by rules

♪ Oh, uh-oh

♪ Girl, don't play the fool,
no ♪

♪ Coldhearted snake

♪ Look into his eyes

♪ Uh-oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh,
he's a coldhearted snake. ♪

Pack your bags.

In the '90s,

the media pitted two

of America's hottest
music groups

against one another

in an epic clash
for pop culture supremacy.

And just so y'all know,

we'll be joining this performance

because we
are basically Switzerland,

and we support all parties
that are involved.

Thank you.

Whatever. Begin, please.

♪ Hey, hey

♪ Bye, bye, bye

♪ Bye, bye

♪ Oh, oh

♪ I'm doing this tonight

♪ You're probably
gonna start a fight ♪

♪ So now it's time to leave

♪ And make it alone

♪ I know that
I can't take no more ♪

♪ It ain't no lie

♪ I want to see you
out that door ♪

♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye

♪ You are

♪ My fire

♪ My one desire

♪ Believe

♪ When I say

♪ I want it that way

♪ Bye, bye, don't want
to be a fool for you ♪

♪ Just another player
in your game for two ♪

♪ It might sound crazy,
but it ain't no lie ♪

♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye
♪ Tell me why

♪ Ain't nothing
but a heartache ♪

♪ Tell me why

♪ Ain't nothing but a mistake

♪ Tell me why

♪ I never want to hear you say

♪ I want it that way

♪ You are

♪ My fire

♪ You are

♪ You are, you are, you are ♪

♪ Don't want to hear you say

♪ Bye, bye, bye
♪ Ain't nothing but a heartache ♪

♪ Make it tough

♪ Ain't nothing but a...

♪ Ain't no lie, bye, bye

♪ Don't want to be a fool for you ♪
♪ You are my fire

♪ Just another player in your game for two ♪
♪ Tell me why

♪ You may hate me
♪ I want it that way

♪ But it ain't no lie

♪ Baby, bye, bye, bye

♪ Don't really want
to make it tough ♪

♪ I just want to tell you that I had enough ♪
♪ One desire

♪ Tell me why
♪ It might sound crazy

♪ But it ain't no lie, baby, bye, bye, bye ♪
♪ I want it that way

♪ Bye, bye.

Well, the love on the stage
is obvious.

You two bros need
to just hug it out.

I'm in.

What do you say, Mr. Shue?

I-I want to, Finn.

I-I really do, I just...

I can't.

Fine. Cool.

There's nothing I can do or say
to win back your trust.

I get it.

For whatever it's worth, thanks.

For everything.

Guess who just got a job

tending bar
at the Coyote Ugly saloon

down on First Street?

Hopefully it bodes better for me

than any of the has-beens
who starred in that movie.

Santana, if you'd just take
a seat, please

and join us for a little
family loft conversation.


but okay.

We just got off the phone

with Brody.

Did you confront him

at NYADA with a
Paula Abdul song?

You can't just

march on in there

and like,
act all crazy, okay?

We go to school there.

That was the best performance
that place has seen in years.

We want you to move out.

You're joking.

We're not.

Olsen twins,
let me tell you something.

I have known you both
for years,

and I don't like either of you
90% of the time.

In fact, your wide-eyed,
Keane painting approach of life

makes my teeth hurt
and my breasts ache with rage,

but you know what,
I have love for you.

You're my family,

and I haven't lied to you
in months.

I'm smarter about other people
than the both of you.

Santana, you're making Brody
feel uncomfortable, okay?

And he was here first,
so you either lay off of it

or you move out.


That's fine.

You know what, I don't...
I don't mind going.

I ran into Lena Dunham

at Barney's,

and she told me
that I could crash with her

if I ever needed to,
so that's cool

'cause she has
two Golden Globes.

Oh, you know what,
and another thing.

I have what Access Hollywood
calls street smarts.

I'm right about plastic man.

I'm pretty sure
she just stole my comforter.

Bitch took my pillow.

Enough about me
and my sad, boring stories.

I killed it,
but we're still feuding.

I just can't in good conscience
call him a woman.

I respect his choices...

But what's true is true:
I could put on a bunny suit

and hop around school
giving out chocolate eggs.

Yeah, totally.

Can you prove it?

I mean, if someone were to say
that we aren't friends

because we haven't even met
in person...

Pissed off.

Well, this Wade/Unique guy
believes he's a girl.

He doesn't need any proof.

It's his truth.

How are you so smart
and so hot at the same time?

Send me another shirtless pic
when you get the chance.


♪ Oh

♪ Yeah

♪ Mmm

♪ You look in my eyes

♪ And I get emotional

♪ Inside

♪ I know it's crazy

♪ But you still can touch

♪ My heart

♪ And after all this time

♪ You'd think that I

♪ Wouldn't feel the same

♪ But time melts into nothing

♪ And nothing's changed

♪ I still believe

♪ That someday you and me

♪ Will find ourselves

♪ In love again

♪ Oh, baby, yeah
♪ I still believe ♪

♪ Baby, I do
♪ Someday you and me ♪

♪ Just give me one more try

♪ In love again.

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Oh

♪ This one is for the boys
with the booming system ♪

♪ Top down,
AC with the cooling system ♪

♪ When he come up in the club,
he be blazing up ♪

♪ He got stacks on deck
like he saving up ♪

♪ And he ill, he real,
he might got a deal ♪

♪ He pop bottles and he got
the right kind of bill ♪

♪ He cold, he dope,
he might be broke ♪

♪ He always in the air,
but he never fly coach ♪

♪ He a total freaking trip,
trip, sailor of the ship, ship ♪

♪ When he make it drip, drip,
kiss him on the lip, lip ♪

♪ That's the kind of dude
I was looking for ♪

♪ And yes, you'll get slapped
if you looking, ho ♪

♪ I said, "Excuse me,
you're a hell of a guy ♪

♪ "I mean, my-my-my-my,
you're like pelican fly ♪

♪ "I mean, you're so shy
and I'm loving your tie ♪

♪ You're like slicker than the
guy with the thing on his eye" ♪

♪ Oh, yes, I did, yes, I did

♪ Somebody please tell him
who the hell I is ♪

♪ I am Nicki Minaj,
I mack them dudes up ♪

♪ Back coupes up,
chuck the deuce up ♪

♪ Boy, you got my heartbeat
runnin' away ♪

♪ Beatin' like a drum
and it's coming your way ♪

♪ Can't you hear the boom

♪ Badoom, boom, boom, badoom,
boom bass ♪

♪ That's the super bass,
boom, badoom, boom ♪

♪ Boom, badoom, boom bass,
that's the super bass ♪

♪ This heartbeat runnin' away

♪ Don't you hear that heartbeat
comin' your way? ♪

♪ Oh, it feel like boom,
badoom, boom ♪

♪ Boom, badoom, boom bass
♪ I still believe

♪ Can't you hear that boom,
badoom, boom ♪

♪ Boom, badoom, boom bass?

♪ Don't you know
that I still believe ♪

♪ That someday you and me

♪ Can't you hear
that boom, badoom, boom ♪

♪ Boom, badoom, boom bass?

♪ Will love again

♪ Boom, badoom, boom,
boom, badoom, boom bass ♪

♪ That's the super bass

♪ I had a dream

♪ That one day you and me

♪ Boom, boom, boom, boom,
badoom, boom ♪

♪ Boom, badoom, boom bass

♪ Will love again

♪ Boom, badoom, boom,
boom, badoom, boom bass ♪

♪ Yeah,
that's that super bass. ♪

And that, ladies, gays,
and in-betweeners,

and hag for life,

is how it's done.

Impressive, Sue,
both of you.

But Coach Sylvester used like,

feathers and a black light,

and she brought in the Cheerios.
Yeah, that's not fair.

Yes, but nobody ever said
life is fair, Tina.

So, William,

though it's shockingly clear
who the winner is,

would you do the honors,

and unlike that interminably
long voting montage

at the end of Lincoln,

let's make this fast.

Show of hands for
Blaine as Mariah.

Thank you, Tina.

Come on.


All in favor of Sue as Nicki?

Well, I hope you're ready
for some form-fitting polyester,

gay Clark Kent

from season one
of Smallville,

because it looks like
you're going to be the bottom

of my Cheerios pyramid
after all.

So you really are leaving?


I just wanted to thank you
for everything

you did for me.

Thank you.


what's next for you?

I don't know.

Probably a lot of long hours

of figuring out
what's next for me.


Can I speak freely?

Yeah, sure, I'm not your
commanding officer or anything.

Say whatever
you want.

Dude, you really need
to grow a pair.

Maybe you should go back
to not speaking so freely.

I know that

you're feeling bad about
yourself right now.

And I also know
how just one kiss

can get you into
a whole lot of trouble.

But if Mr. Shue doesn't want you
around anymore, forget him.

Don't let him define you.

Problem is, he does define me.

The four years I spent
in this Glee Club

defines me.

This whole freakin' school
defines me,

and without it, i am...

I just feel... lost.


After we lost
Sectionals, I was


that everything was
just going to fall apart,

but you fought

to keep us together.

You're a natural leader, Finn.

A teacher.

You don't need
Mr. Shue's approval to be that.


but I do need a little thing

called a teaching degree.


...go get one.

You gonna challenge
all three of us to a feud now?

Look, I asked you guys here
for a truce.

Okay, sometimes

I don't know how to fit in here.

But kissing you, Marley...

that was so out of line,
and I'm sorry.

It's okay.

It's not, but...
I'll never do it again.

Look, friendship is about trust.

Okay? It's like
when we're playing football.

Look, I fumbled
the ball this time,

but you know
I have good hands.

I just made a mistake.

You know

if you give me the ball again,

I won't let you down.

Yeah, but it might take
a little while.

I take that.

Thank you.


Look, I'm not gonna pretend
like I understand everything

that's going on with you.

But you have a truth,

and as your friend,

I need to support
that truth, so...

you're a girl, dude.

Holy crap, did I mess that up?

No, it's just...

That day, after we sang...

I decided to walk home
in all my Leslie Uggams glory,

and a group of popular girls
came after me.

Look at this.

Are you a boy
or a girl?

Hey! Freak!

Lady Freak!

I got home before
they caught up to me,

but I was so scared.

I'm walking you home
from now on.

Yeah. Me, too.

Me, three.
Me, four.

And P.S., do those bitches
go to this school?

'Cause if so,
I want their names

so I can put Nair
in their shampoo bottles.

Wait a minute. We're friends?

I don't know if it's 'cause
I've been dating Puckerman,

which makes it really hard
to judge anyone--

and I will deny it
outside in the real world--

but, yes.

We're friends.

And we're in this together.

I'm a winner,

and I want to win

So we need
to cut the crap

and the fighting

and tighten up
so we can win this.

Friendships are tested
like this all the time.

And the ones that are real

are the ones
that pass the test.

Artie and Tina and Sam
and probably Brittany

are all going to be gone
next year,

and it's going to be up to us

to keep up the Glee Club torch.

Not just winning
competitions, but...

the legacy of being
the only place at this school--

at any school--

where the most special thing
you can be is yourself.

Think we're up for it?

Are you kidding?

This place ain't seen
nothing yet.

Oh, yeah...

You look absolutely


And just to
show there's

no animosity between us,

I've decided to make
you and Becky

my Cheerios!


I love you.

Thank you.

Let this be a life
lesson to you--

one that you'll remember
20 years from now,

when you're playing
"Uncle Nubbins"

on The Suite Life of
Zack and Cody reboot--

that the real world is nothing
like the Glee Club,

where you can join and rejoin,

quit and requit

whenever you're not crying

or throwing confetti
at each other.

Because in the real world,
there are commitments...

and you're only as good
as your word.

Blaine Devon Anderson,

do I have your word
that you are

fully committed
to my team?

What? She can't hear you!

Yes, Coach Sylvester.

All right.

Gymnasium, 3:05.

Oh, a little trick
of the trade...

from now on,
wear a thong

to avoid visible panty lines.

How'd it go?

Exactly as planned.

I'm gonna work
from the inside

and bring her down.

By the time we graduate,

Sue Sylvester's
reign of terror

will finally be over.


Good evening, Vicky.

Santana. How did you...

I told you.
This is what I do.

You can't tell Rachel.

Please, I'm not proud of this.

Save it.

I think there's someone
more important

that you should convince


Well, I am going
to leave you two alone

for a little girl talk.

Have fun.

Listen, I can explain this.
Shut your mouth.

After tonight...

you're a ghost.

You disappear
from her life forever.

No good-byes, nothing.

I love her.

But she doesn't really even know
who you are.


You can't tell her.



Stay away from my future wife!

♪ All I want to get is...

♪ A little bit closer

♪ All I want to know is

♪ Can you come
a little closer? ♪

♪ Here comes the breath

♪ Before we get

♪ A little bit closer

♪ Here comes the rush

♪ Before we touch

♪ Come a little closer

♪ The lights are off

♪ And the sun is
finally setting ♪

♪ The night sky
is changing overhead ♪

♪ It's not just all physical

♪ I'm the type
who will get oh, so critical ♪

♪ So let's make things
physical ♪

♪ I won't treat you like

♪ You're oh, so typical

♪ I want you close

♪ I want you

♪ I won't treat you
like you're typical ♪

♪ I want you close

♪ I want you

♪ I won't treat you
like you're typical ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh

♪ Here come the dreams
of you and me ♪

♪ Here come the dreams

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Here come the dreams
of you and me ♪

♪ Here come the dreams...

♪ It's not just all physical

♪ I'm the type
who will get oh, so critical ♪

♪ So let's make things
physical ♪

♪ I won't treat you
like you're oh, so typical ♪

♪ I want you close

♪ I want you

♪ I won't treat you
like you're typical ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh

♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh...

♪ Oh, oh, oh-oh ♪
♪ I won't

♪ Treat you
like you're typical ♪

♪ All I want to get is

♪ Doo doo doo-doo

♪ A little bit closer

♪ Doo doo doo

♪ All I want to know is

♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ Can you come a little closer? ♪

♪ Doo doo doo.

So you apologized
to all of them?

That's great.

I'm so glad you all
have each others' backs.

I couldn't have done it
without you.

It's weird, but I haven't felt
this close

to someone in a while.

What about Marley?
Are you still crushing on her?

I'm starting to feel like
maybe I've kind of moved on.

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