Glee (2009–2015): Season 4, Episode 15 - Girls (and Boys) on Film - full transcript

As everyone recovers from Will and Emma's wedding, the Glee Club members are tasked with performing their favorite movie songs.

So here's what you missed on Glee:
Marley's dating Jake,

but Ryder totally kissed her
out of nowhere.

Finn kissed Emma, too,
and then she freaked out

and left Will at the altar.

Everyone felt bad, but not bad
enough to waste a wedding

reception and everybody hooked
up, and I mean everybody.

Now Rachel thinks she might
have a bun in the oven

and Santana moved in with her
and Kurt and Brody lives there,

too, except he's gone a lot

and carries large wads of cash.

And that's what you missed
on Glee.



(chuckles) Every Jack and
Jill at the Carousel Club

couldn't take their peepers
off of you tonight.

- Oh, applesauce.
- Oh, honest Injun. And who could blame them?

You're the eighth Wonder of
the World, Emma Schuester.

You're sunbeams and angel wings

and the Taj Mahal all rolled
into one marvelous dame.

And when we dance
together, why,

my universe

becomes topsy-turvy.

Like gravity was never invented.

("You're All the World
to Me" begins)

♪ Everywhere
that beauty glows you are ♪

♪ Everywhere
an orchid grows you are ♪

♪ Everything
that's young and gay ♪



♪ Brighter than a holiday

♪ Everywhere
the angels play you are ♪

♪ You're like Paris
in April and May ♪

♪ You're New York
on a silvery day ♪

♪ A Swiss Alp
as the sun grows fainter ♪

♪ You're Loch Lomond
when autumn is the painter ♪

♪ You're moonlight
on a night in Capri ♪

♪ And Cape Cod
looking out at the sea ♪

♪ You're all places
that leave me breathless ♪

BOTH: ♪ And no wonder,
you're all the world to me ♪

♪ You're like Paris
in April and May ♪

♪ You're New York
on a silvery day ♪

BOTH: ♪ A Swiss Alp as
the sun grows fainter ♪

♪ You're Loch Lomond
when autumn is the painter ♪

♪ You're moonlight on a night in Capri ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ And Cape Cod
looking out at the sea ♪

BOTH: ♪ You're all places
that leave me breathless ♪

♪ And no wonder,
you're all the world to me. ♪

The house is upside down!

("You're All the World to Me"
playing on TV)

(panting)

(turns off TV)

(sighs)

Everybody loves movies.

They don't just tell stories...
they transport us

to other worlds.
They are inspirational.

They provide comfort,
and they help us escape

from our day-to-day anxieties.

Like getting left at the altar?

- Too soon.
- Exactly.

Or in your guys' case,
studying for exams or...

worrying about regionals.

In any case,

for this week's assignment,
I want you to pick

your favorite songs
from your favorite movies.

(cheers and applause)

Unique knows all there is
to know about The Crying Game.

KITTY: You don't get dibs on Les Mis
just because you are the poster.

SAM (a la Nicolas Cage): Finally
I can do my Nicolas Cage

impression. "Oh, not the bees!
No! The bees! No!"

That is the worst Nicolas Cage
impression I've ever seen.

Do you even know
who Nicolas Cage is?

WILL: Okay, it's not
that simple, guys.

This is a group competition...

boys against girls
and we are doing mash-ups.

Now remember,
movies are visual.

So it's not just about
the singing... it's about...

performance,
it's about theatricality,

it's about the language
of cinema.

Preach. And as I move
into production

on my first micro-budget feature...
(overlapping chatter)

...I'm happy to offer starring
roles to whichever team wins.

No trailers, no per diem.

WILL: Great. Okay.

Well, everyone split up
and start working

on your song choices.
(indistinct chatter)

- You're making a movie?
- Yeah.

Hey. Can I talk
to you for a sec?

Yeah.

We should do The Artist
so we don't have to sing.

(bell ringing)

So, how's the case going,
Detective Shue?

Her parents are
stonewalling me and...

I don't have
any other leads right now.

So, what else
have you been up to?

Come on. I'm starting to get
worried about you, man.

Finn, you can't just force

someone to do something.

Right now it's about
taking a step back

and giving her some space.

In the meantime,
I'm catching up on a lot

of old movies.

Really calms me down.

Look...

if she really wants
to be with me,

then she'll come back
on her own.

So, sitting around in front
of the TV is somehow supposed

to make her want to come back?

Of course not. I...

Look, I know she's hurt,

but I'm hurt, too.

You are a good man, and I
really appreciate your concern,

- but it's time to leave it alone.
- No, it's-it's not.

It... It's time to take action.

Come on. Stand and Deliver.

Zero Dark Thirty.

(sighs)

(bell ringing)
I'm sorry, Finn Hudson.

But even I don't know
the whereabouts of the lovely

yet fragile Miss
Emma Pillsbury.

But I can tell you she's cashed
in all of her vacation days.

- But you don't know where she went?
- I have no idea, and frankly,

I resent your flabby
accusation that

just because I wore an exact
replica of her wedding dress

and was the last person to see
her before her Broadway-themed

freak-out that I have anything
to do with her being missing.

I'm not accusing you
of anything.

Well, I assume she's checked
into some ginger asylum

somewhere now
that she's escaped

from Will Schuester's
living dollhouse of the damned.

Even if I were privy to that
information, even if I did know,

I certainly wouldn't divulge it
to a flop sweat-smelling,

fake-teen-teaching,
Army-deserting,

high school-lurking,
sectionals-losing,

special needs, baby-hating...

Point is, Sue didn't know.
There has to be some way

to reach her, Artie.
We owe Mr. Shue that.

Finn, let me dispense
some Hollywood logic on you,

if I may. What we have
on our hands is a lady manhunt.

We need a hard-target search
of every gas station, residence,

warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse,
outhouse and doghouse.

- Ain't nobody got time for that.
- Okay, then just talk to her parents.

- You think?
- Pretty sure that's your only lead.

Doin' a lot of the work here.

(bell ringing)

- Guys, Brittany and I were just talking...
- BRITTANY: And we agree

that though we love that it's mash-up
week and that it's girls versus boys...

It sucks that the guys and the
girls can't do a number together,

so we were thinking, just
as a warm-up, we should do

the guys versus girls
in the same number,

- to kick things off.
- And then the girls can kick the boys' butts.

BLAINE: Uh, or vice versa.

Which is my favorite
Fred Savage movie.

SAM: Well, it'd have

to be the perfect movie song,
you know, like, uh...

"Dream Warriors"
from Nightmare on Elm Street 3.

Yeah, or a good song

- like "Let the River Run" from Working Girl.
- MARLEY: Or...

- "Wind Beneath My Wings" from Beaches.
- BLAINE: No, no, no, no.

How about this...
the perfect movie song,

totally iconic and
everyone loves it,

a little ditty from the seminal
American college comedy...

Animal House.

(The Isley Brothers' "Shout" begins)

♪ Well... ♪

♪ You know you make me wanna ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Kick my heels up and ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Throw my hands up and ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Throw my head back and ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Come on now ♪

♪ Don't forget to say you will ♪

♪ Don't forget to say, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Say ♪
♪ Say that you love me ♪

♪ Say ♪
♪ Say that you need me

♪ Say ♪
♪ Say that you want me

♪ Say ♪
♪ I still remember

♪ Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop ♪
♪ When you used

♪ Wop-wop-wop ♪
♪ To be nine years old

♪ Shooby-doo-wop-do-
wop-wop-wop-wop ♪
♪ Hey, I was

♪ Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop ♪
♪ A fool for you

♪ Wop-wop-wop ♪
♪ From the bottom of my soul

♪ Shooby-doo-wop-do-wop ♪

♪ I want you to know

♪ I want to know ♪

♪ I said I want you
to know right now ♪

♪ I want to know ♪

♪ You been good to me, baby ♪

♪ Good to me, baby ♪

♪ I said I want you to know right now ♪
♪ I want to know ♪

♪ You know you make me wanna ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Lift my head up and ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Throw my hands back and ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Come on now ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Take it easy ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪
♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪
♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪
♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪
♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪
♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪
♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪
♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪
♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪
♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪
♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit softer now ♪
♪ Shout ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪

♪ Hey-A-Hey-A ♪
♪ Hey-A-Hey-A ♪

♪ Hey-A-Hey-A ♪
♪ Hey-A-Hey-A ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ A little bit louder now ♪
♪ Shout! ♪

♪ Jump up and shout now ♪

♪ Jump up and shout now ♪

♪ Jump up and shout now ♪

♪ Jump up and shout now ♪

♪ Jump, jump, jump, jumping up ♪

♪ Jump, jump, jump, jumping up ♪

♪ Jump, jump, jump, jumping up ♪

♪ Jump, jump, jump, jumping up ♪

♪ Shout! ♪
♪ Yeah.

(applause) ARTIE: I realize

this number wasn't in competition,

but you do know it's not even
a mash-up, right?

(bell ringing)

SANTANA: My first real week in New York

and I'm snowbound in Bushwick

with a bunch of musical theatre queens.

(imitates Mrs. Patmore): No,
you're doing it wrong, Daisy.

(imitates Daisy): I can't do it
'cause I'm in love with William.

I just can't.
It's like Eli Roth decided

to make a gay horror movie
and this is the scene

right before we all eat each other.

Oh, do it again, do it again.

(dramatically): Welcome...

to Downton Abbey.

(Kurt and Adam laughing)
So, where you from, Doctor Who?

Uh, England. Do you know Essex?

No. Never heard of it.

Are you guys dating?
Because at Mr. Shue's bomb

- of a wedding, you and Blaine, like...
- (quietly): Shut up,

Santana. Rachel and I are
letting you live here rent-free.

- The least you could do is...
- Where is Rachel anyways?

Giving that living mannequin
a bikini wax?

- Uh, Brody is working and Rachel is in the bathroom.
- Well, let's hope

that she's embracing her inner
bulimic because let me tell you,

homegirl has been looking
extremely pumpkin-like

and not just 'cause of the Tan in a Can.
(door opens)

Okay, that's it!

You're gonna have to move out

because this our

sanctuary, and by ours,
I mean mine and Kurt's,

and frankly, you make me
feel uncomfortable,

and Brody says that you
make him feel uncomfortable

- as well.
- Girls, girls, retract the claws, all right?

NYADA canceled all the classes
because of the snow,

so let's just cozy up to our
little movie marathon. Santana,

did you go
through our DVD collection?

I sure did.
Uh, Knocked Up. Hilarity.

Rosemary's Baby... that's
obviously Lady Hummel's.

- And, uh, She's Having a Baby.
- RACHEL: I don't want to watch any of those.

KURT: Oh, really, Rachel?

Not even She's Having a Baby?

'Cause you always cry

at the end when
Elizabeth McGovern has

- the baby.
- I'm not

in the mood, okay?
I'm not in the mood.

KURT:
Okay, fine.

Because I have made
a selection that is perfect

for being snowed-in
in New York City.

Moulin Rouge, bitches.

We love those dancin' hos.

Seriously?

(gentle orchestral intro plays)



♪ Never knew ♪

♪ I could feel like this ♪



♪ Like I've never seen the ♪

♪ Before ♪

♪ Want to vanish ♪

♪ Inside your kiss ♪



♪ Seasons may change ♪

♪ Winter to spring ♪

♪ But I love you ♪

♪ Until the end ♪

♪ Of ♪

♪ Time ♪

♪ Come what ♪

♪ May... ♪

♪ Come what may... ♪

♪ I will ♪

♪ Love you ♪

♪ Until my dying... ♪

♪ Day... ♪

BOTH: ♪ Suddenly the world ♪

♪ Seems such a ♪

♪ Perfect place ♪

♪ Suddenly it moves with such ♪

♪ A perfect grace ♪

♪ Suddenly my life ♪

♪ Doesn't seem ♪

♪ Such a waste ♪

♪ It all revolves ♪

♪ Around you ♪

♪ And there's no mountain ♪

♪ Too high ♪

♪ No river ♪

♪ Too wide ♪

♪ Sing out this song ♪

♪ And I'll be there ♪

♪ By your side ♪

♪ Storm clouds may gather ♪

♪ And stars may collide ♪

(solo): ♪ But I love you ♪

♪ I love you ♪
♪ Until ♪

♪ Until the end of ♪
♪ The end of ♪

BOTH: ♪ Time ♪

♪ Come what may... ♪

♪ Come ♪

♪ What may... ♪

♪ I will ♪

♪ Love... ♪

♪ You ♪

♪ I will love you. ♪



Kurt, are you crying?

Um... no, no.
My-my contacts are...

really bothering me right now.

- I didn't know you wore contacts.
- Yes, Rachel,

I just found out I have
a slight astigmatism.

ADAM: Oh, I think I might have
some solution in my bag.

- No, no, I'm fine. I'll be good. Don't worry.
- I would've thought that

you were crying
because you and Blaine

used to talk about
how this was your dream

to sing this song to each other
at your wedding.

Did we?

Yeah. I remember you telling me

that singing this song to someone

was a more intimate act than sex.

- Who wants popcorn? Anyone?
- SANTANA: No.

Hold on. I'm sorry. Can we pause this

for a second? Kurt, please sit down.

I have something to say, and I have

tried to keep it to myself,
but I will be silent no longer.

- What is it?
- That Brody character is a freakin' psycho.

Go on.

- Here we go.
- SANTANA: Listen,

when I first met him,
totally thought he was weird.

He smelled all talcum-y
like a Cabbage Patch Doll.

And then he said

that I wasn't a real New Yorker

until I had my first makeover,
and I was, like,

what does that even mean?

Like, who are you?

Oh, come on, Brody's a sweetheart.

That's what
I told myself, you know?

I said, "So what if he's
completely hairless"

"and made out of plastic... I'm
gonna look past the fact that

"he probably has a disgusting
porn star landing strip.

"I'm gonna give Lars

"and the Real Boy
one more chance." But then

I found... this.

$1,200 in cash.

When did you find that?

Last night when
I was rooting through

all the pockets and drawers
in this apartment.

Wait. What?

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Santana, you went through
all of our stuff?

Yeah. That's a thing I do.

- It's completely unacceptable.
- I can't.

Oh, okay. I like
how you guys pretend

to be all accepting
about everything,

but when your friend
suddenly shows up

in your home, moves in
and goes through all your stuff,

you're offended?

Just because he has
a little money on him

doesn't mean
that he's a psycho.

That's what I thought, right?

Who cares if he's
terrified of banks?

'Cause if I were
made out of plastic,

I'd be scared of a lot

of things, too: Open flames, barbecues. Then...

I found... this.

What is that?

Is that a garage door opener?

This is a pager, my friends.

And there's only one type

of person in this world
that carries cash

and a pager.

Your friend Brody...
is a drug dealer.

(distorted, echoing boom)



(bell rings)

Okay, so-so let me
get this straight.

You brought us here because

the "Stop Ginger Bullying Club"
founded by our daughter

is in trouble. ARTIE:
We're leaderless.

We're hemorrhaging money.

We won't make it to the end of the month.
ROSE: That's horrible.

Rusty, can't we do something?

(sniffs)

You two don't smell
like gingers.

What do gingers smell like?

Gingers smell like pennies.

We have a slight coppery odor.

WOMAN:
It's true.

When Rusty's away
on one of his business trips

to Ecuador and...
I'm really missing him,

sometimes I shove my face
in a bowl full of loose change

and inhale really deeply, and it's
like he's sitting right next to me.

ARTIE:
Look, it's not about the money.

It's about your daughter, Emma.

We just really need

our faculty sponsor
to come back.

See, it's college
application time,

and young
Artie Seymour Hoffman here

really needs a scholarship.

If I were you, I'd
forget about the hair

and lead with the
wheelchair thing.

RUSTY: You don't
want Emma's advice

about college...
she doesn't know anything.

The kids at this school
don't seem to even think

about what college they want
to go to until about a week

before graduation.

That's weird. You're
supposed to figure that out

when you're a junior.

Look, I just need her
to proofread my personal essay.

All we need

is an address.
We just need

to know where she is.

(quietly):
Thank you.

Oh, my God, it's getting
worse out there.

We've been snowed in
for 48 hours.

Let's finish watching
Moulin Rouge

before we lose power again.

- Or start eating each other.
- Oh, no, please spare us.

If I see one more
scene of Satine

coughing up blood
into a handkerchief,

I'm gonna start coughing up
blood into a handkerchief.

Come on, Santana, it's so good,

and we're right
in the middle of it.

- Let's put it to a vote. Yea.
- Oh, house vote. I say yea.

Yea. Moulin Rouge it is.

Well, what about Brody's vote?

Or do drug dealers
not get to vote?

Okay, he's not a drug dealer.

Please, okay?
It's snowing outside.

He's probably
just stranded somewhere.

Do you want me to call him?

Okay. I'll
prove it to you.

(line rings)

Hey, Rach.
Hey, babe. Where are you?

Aw, the bridges are closed...
I'm stuck at my friend's house

in Manhattan.

You remember Leo, right?

Well, I miss you.

We're in the middle

of watching Moulin Rouge,
and so we're getting to the part

where Ewan McGregor cries.

Hey, l-listen,
I, uh, I got to go.

I will be back as soon as I can.

(quietly):
Okay.

There you go.

Okay?

(whispers):
I'm with you.

Drug dealer.

I hope they mash-up "Batdance"
with "Howard the Duck."

Shh.

(upbeat intro playing)

♪ Revvin' up your engine

♪ Listen to her howling roar

♪ Metal under tension

♪ Begging you to touch and go

♪ Highway to

♪ The danger zone

♪ Ride into the

♪ Danger zone

♪ Still like that old-time rock and roll

♪ The kind of music just soothes my soul

♪ I reminisce about the days of old

♪ With that old-time rock and roll

♪ Oh, ho

♪ Heading into twilight

♪ Spreading out her wings tonight

♪ Old-time rock and roll

♪ She got you jumping off the deck

♪ And shoving into overdrive

♪ I like that old-time rock and roll

♪ Highway to the

♪ Danger zone

♪ Rock and roll

♪ I'll take you right

♪ Into the danger zone

♪ Still like that old-time rock and roll

♪ The kind of music just soothes my soul

♪ I reminisce about the days of old

♪ With that old-time rock and roll

♪ Oh, yeah

♪ Still like that old-time rock and roll

♪ The kind of music just soothes my soul

♪ I reminisce about the days of old

♪ With that old-time rock and roll

♪ Still like that old-time rock and roll

♪ The kind of music just soothes my soul
♪ Soothes my soul

♪ I reminisce about

♪ The days of old
♪ Old

♪ With that old time rock and roll

♪ I'll take you

♪ Right into the danger zone

♪ Rock and roll
♪ Rock and roll

(cheering)

(whooping)

Yeah!
FINN: Wow!

FINN:
Wow.

Okay. That was awesome.

Where'd you come up
with the inspiration for that?

Well, it's our tribute
to the early

macho cinema
of one Mr. Tom Cruise.

You can't handle the truth.

(quietly): That's
actually Jack Nicholson,

- not Tom Cruise.
- WILL: Girls.

(whooping) You're up.

(cheering)

- Wait for it.
- Come on, get out here.

I have a confession to make.

For the past six months,
I've sat behind your back

and in front of your face
that you're poor and fat

and mousy and boring and you
dress like Zach Galifianakis.

I apologize.

God made me, and he's not
through with me yet.

Besides, we're both

dating Puckermans,
and someday we'll be

sister-in-laws and
hanging out with

Jews together.

I totally saw that look.
What's going on?

If I tell you something,

do you swear not to tell anyone?

Swear.

Last week, Ryder kissed me.

OMG.

Was he any good, or did his

humongous donkey teeth
bite into your lips?

He was good, but...
I still like Jake.

Say no more.
I completely get it.

And you're not a slut at all

for playing both sides.

Let me give you some advice,
since we're now BFFs.

Boy are like lumps of coal.

They're dirty and cheap and they

get hot when they're rubbed.

And some turn into diamonds.

So, collect as many as you can.

("Sparkling Diamonds" begins playing)

♪ A kiss on the hand may be

♪ Quite continental

♪ But diamonds are

♪ A girl's best friend
♪ Girl's best friend ♪

♪ A kiss may be grand

♪ But it won't pay the rental

♪ On your humble flat

♪ Or help you feed your

♪ Yow! Pussycat

♪ Men grow cold as

♪ Girls grow old

♪ And we all lose our charms

♪ In the end

♪ But square-cut or pear-shaped

♪ These rocks don't lose their shape

♪ Diamonds are

♪ A girl's best friend

Tiffany's!

♪ 'Cause we are living

♪ In a material world

♪ And I am a material

♪ Girl

(kisses, sighs)

Come and get me, boys.

♪ Black Star

♪ Ross Cole

♪ Talk to me, Harry Zidler

♪ Tell me all about it

♪ There may come a time when
♪ Best friends

♪ They're our best friends
♪ A lass needs a lawyer

♪ But diamonds are a girl's
♪ But diamonds

♪ Best friend
♪ Best friend

♪ There may come a time
♪ Best friends

♪ When a hard-boiled employer
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh

♪ Thinks you're awful nice
(whoops)

♪ But get that ice

♪ Or else no dice

♪ He's your guy when

♪ Stocks are high

♪ But beware when they start to descend ♪

♪ Diamonds are a girl's best friend ♪

Let's make love.
♪ Best friends

♪ Be our best friends
Everything's going so we

♪ Oh...

♪ 'Cause that's when those louses
♪ Oh, oh

♪ Go back to their spouses
♪ Oh

♪ Diamonds are a girl's best
♪ Diamonds

♪ Are a
♪ Diamonds are a girl's best

♪ Diamonds are a girl's best
♪ Girl's

♪ Best
♪ Diamonds are a girl's best

♪ Friend

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh...

(whoops)

(cheering)

Wow, come on, you guys.

Let's give it up for girls...

(Will whoops)



What's shakin', bacon?

Oh, hey.

Just practicing my
basic pirouettes.

Every aspiring actor
needs to know

how to do them.

Newsies is lousy with them.

Thanks for giving me shelter

from the storm.

I was a little sad we, uh,

weren't snowed in
a little longer.

Ah, I know, I always
get a little sad

when the sun comes out
and the snow starts to melt

and all the snowmen look like
they have scoliosis.

But it was nice
to hang out with you and,

- uh, watch a few movies.
- Well,

- a movie.
- A movie.

Look, about that...

Uh...

I'm gonna ask you something

and I want you to be honest.

You and Blaine did used to sing

that duet together, didn't you?

Yeah.

But it feels like

a lifetime ago.

Maybe that's what's
hard about it.

You still love him, don't you?

Was I your rebound?

No. No.

'Cause I can't compete
with a fantasy, Kurt.

I desperately want
to be over him.

Really, I do.

Good.

Then let's go to the
movies right now.

Oh, I'm serious.

We are going to go and find

the sappiest love
story that we can,

and then that

will be our movie.

(school bell rings)
Tomorrow, we watch.

Spielberg's Lincoln.

Uh... sorry.

I found her.

What? Where?

She's been staying
at her sister's house

up on Hilltop Lane.

You got to go to her.

I-I think she made it
pretty clear

she doesn't want to see me.

Well, then you have to make her
want to see you.

Come on, Mr. Shue,
y-you don't have a choice.

This is like in the
third act of the movie,

where the heartbroken guy

chases through the crowded
city streets

to win his girl back,
and then he does some

big romantic gesture,

and the music swells,

and then the crowd applauds,

and their eyes well
up with tears...

And then she'll take you back.

That's just the way it works.

(Peter Gabriel's "In Your
Eyes" plays) ♪ Ooh, ooh ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Love ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ I get so lost ♪

♪ Sometimes ♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Days pass ♪

♪ And this emptiness ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Fills my heart ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ When I want to run away ♪
♪ When I want to run ♪

♪ I drive off ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ In my car ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ But whichever way I go ♪
♪ But whichever way ♪

♪ I come back to the place ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ You are ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Do-do-do, dat-dat ♪

♪ All my instincts ♪
♪ Do-do-do-dat dat-do-dat ♪

♪ They return ♪
♪ Do-do-do, dat-dat ♪

♪ The grand facade ♪
♪ Do-do-do-dat dat-do-dat ♪

♪ Do-do-do, dat-dat ♪
♪ So soon will burn ♪

♪ Do-do-do-dat dat-do-dat ♪
♪ Without a noise ♪

♪ Do-do-do, dat-dat ♪
♪ Without my pride ♪

♪ I reach out ♪
♪ Do-do-do-dat dat-do-dat ♪

♪ From the inside ♪
♪ Do-do-do, dat-dat ♪

♪ Whoo, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Whoo, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Oh, oh-oh, oh ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪
♪ Your eyes ♪

♪ The light, the heat ♪

♪ Your eyes ♪
♪ I am complete ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪
♪ I see the doorway ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪
♪ To a thousand churches ♪

♪ Your eyes ♪
♪ The resolution ♪

♪ Your eyes ♪
♪ Of all the fruitless ♪

♪ Searching ♪
♪In your eyes ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪
♪ Oh, I see the light ♪

♪ And the heat ♪

♪ Your eyes ♪
WOMEN: ♪ The light, the heat ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪
♪ Oh, I want to be ♪

♪ That complete ♪
♪ In your eyes ♪

WOMEN: ♪ The light, the heat ♪
♪ I want to ♪

♪ Touch the light, the heat ♪
♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ I see in your eyes ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪
♪ Your eyes ♪

♪ Oh-ooh-oh ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ In your eyes ♪
♪ In your eyes ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ In your eyes. ♪

Will, are you crazy?

Crazy for you.
(chuckles)

But that's Vision Quest,
and Matthew Modine

skipping rope isn't nearly
as romantic as John Cusack

holding a boom box.

Please, get down here

so I can tell you
how much I love you,

and how I'm never
gonna let you go.

Guys.
Oh, yeah.

You can take off now.

- Oh, can I get my...
- Thanks so much.

See you. Bye.
All right, great. Good job.

- It went well.
- Good job. Thanks, guys.

(sighs)

(laughs)

(bird caws)

I'm sorry I've kept you

in the dark for so long.

I know that must have
been hard for you.

Hard?

No, losing sectionals is hard.

Losing the woman
I plan on spending

the rest of my life with?

A-And not knowing why?

It was devastating.

I didn't explain because I'm...

I'm not even sure
I understand it yet myself.

(sighs)

I-If you were to write
yourself a pamphlet,

what would it be called?

Seriously.

Um...

"So You're Freaking Out
Because the Man You're

About to Marry Parades
Back into Town,

and You Don't Feel Like
You Know Him Anymore."

Is that really
what this is all about?

(sighs)

Why couldn't you just come talk

to me about it? What was
I supposed to say, Will?

"L... let's postpone the wedding,

"let's send everybody home,

"let's get to know each other

- "all over again?"
- I... I would have preferred that

to standing at the altar alone
with everyone staring at me.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I didn't take two
seconds to think.

I just... I just ran.

(sighs)

So, what happens now?

(sighs)

I don't know.

I think we need
to start from scratch.

Maybe with a movie
on Friday night?

See if we can get to know
each other

all over again.

I think that would be nice.

(Will sighs)

Okay, New York
may be disgusting,

especially when it's
covered in gray, nasty snow,

and the people
may be horrible and rude,

and some smelly homeless man

in pee-stained tighty-whities

might have groped me
on the subway,

and then asked me for a dollar,

but I gots to say,

I finally feel like

I have found my people.

Glad that you found
your corner of the sky, Santana.

Where are the Hardy Boys?

Investigating the mystery of.

"God, Could You Be
Any More Annoying?"

Kurt and Adam are at NYADA.

And Pablo Escobar?

Did he ever come home?

Brody is in the shower.

Where he will be

for the next hour,
scrubbing the drug shame

off of his frictionless body.

- For the hundredth time, okay, if you
keep making fun of Brody...
- I'm not.

I mean, I am. Just, not now.

Okay, look,
now that we're alone,

I want to talk to you

about what I found
in your bathroom trash can,

underneath
the wadded-up tissue paper,

the used cotton swabs
and the soiled acne wipes.

An item which,

unless Lady's Hummel's actually
been a lady all these years,

could have only be yours.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Rachel... you're really not
gonna tell me about the stick?

You had no right.

Rachel,

I'm your friend,
you can trust me.

Just tell me what's going on.

(crying)

Oh, God.

You're gonna be okay. It's okay.

(crying)

It's gonna be okay.

(crying)

(school bell ringing)

Hey.

What's going on in here?

You wanted to see me?

Uh, yes. I wanted to talk to you

about what happened
on Valentine's Day.

(sighs) I lied.

I didn't come up with
all that romantic stuff.

Ryder did.
I-I didn't mean to lie.

It's just that all this trust
and monogamy... it's new for me.

I'm into it.
I just...

I got nervous.

I was trying to impress you.

(laughs) So,

I came up with this on my own.

This is not what I think it is.
Oh, yes, it is.

(laughs)

Come here, sit down.

I am singing your favorite song

from your favorite
romantic movie.

The Hunger Games?

Second favorite romantic movie?

Okay.

(The Righteous Brothers'
"Unchained Melody" begins)

♪ Oh, my love ♪

♪ My darling ♪

♪ I've hungered for your touch ♪

♪ So much ♪

♪ Are you ♪

♪ Are you ♪

♪ Still mine? ♪
♪ Still mine? ♪

♪ I need your love ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I... ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Need your love ♪

♪ God speed your love ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ To ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Me ♪
♪ Ooh ♪

RYDER AND JAKE: ♪ Lonely river sigh ♪

♪ "Wait for me, wait for me" ♪

♪ I'll be coming home ♪

♪ Wait for me ♪

♪ Wait for me ♪

JAKE: ♪ Time ♪
♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Goes by ♪

♪ So slowly ♪
♪ Ah... ♪

♪ And time can do ♪
♪ Ah... ♪

♪ So much ♪
♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Are you ♪
♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Still mine? ♪
♪ Ah... ♪

♪ I ♪

RYDER AND JAKE: ♪ Need your love ♪

JAKE: ♪ I... ♪
♪ Ah... ♪

♪ I need your love ♪

♪ I need your love ♪
♪ Ah... ♪

♪ God speed your love ♪
♪ Ah... ♪

♪ God speed your love ♪

♪ To ♪

♪ To ♪

JAKE AND RYDER: ♪ Me ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh ♪

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Ooh ♪

♪ Ah. ♪

Oh, Jake, stop.

I'm sorry. Uh...

(sighs)

I lied about
Valentine's Day, too.

I knew it was Ryder.

But I didn't care because
it was so sweet that you tried.

Ryder kissed me.

And I let him.

Jake.

Are you...?

Jake? Jake, don't leave.

(school bell ringing)
Girls rule, as usual.

And we should win
for these sweet glasses alone.

WILL: Ladies and gentlemen,
the time has come

for the announcement
of this year's

mash-off winner.

(whooping)

Who of course, will be starring

in my senior film project...
Hollywood Hootenanny,

a tribute to dance on film.

WILL: And the winner is...

everyone.

- What?
- Why do you always do this?

- That's insane.
- This is a sham.

(overlapping chatter,
Brittany grunts loudly)

Why don't you just send Maria
Shriver in to give us all hugs?

In reality, what you're saying
is, we're all losers.

Why did we bother having a
competition in the first place?

Calm down, y'all.
Calm down.

After exhaustive storyboarding
and pre-production,

I realized that I needed a lot

of talented bodies
to make this film great.

So, choosing one winner
was just simply impossible.

That is exactly right.

Uh, Finn, can I talk to you
in the hallway for a sec?

Ooh! ARTIE: Yeah.

Everybody's gonna in it.

So, who's the lead?
Who's gonna be the lead?

ARTIE: There is no lead...
There's no lead.

Yeah, 'cause there's no point.

(overlapping chatter)

No. You guys are awesome
together. I mean...

We're gonna be the leads.

Yay!
Yay!

(overlapping chatter)

Boy meets girl, boy loses girl.

Boy mopes around
and sits on his ass

until his best man
helps save the day.

Thank you.

Yeah, I-I... I mean, you would
have done the same thing for me.

You have, like,
probably a thousand times.

So, uh, you and Miss Pillsbury
talked it all out?

Yeah. I mean,
I actually think

all this craziness
was for the best.

I mean, I actually think

it's going to make our
relationship stronger.

She say anything about me?

No. Why would she?

Because I kissed her.

Well, she...

she was freaking out about the
wedding, and going all AC/DC,

and I-I tried to calm her down.

And then I just... I kissed her.

But I didn't mean to

because I don't even
think of her like that.

I swear.

And I tried to tell you,
but I couldn't,

because I knew
that it would ruin

everything, and it's all
my fault, so just...

just go ahead
and just-just punch me,

or whatever,
because I deserve it.

I'm so sorry.

(sighs heavily)

(school bell ringing)

(Kenny Loggins' "Footloose" begins)

♪ I've been workin' so hard ♪

♪ I'm punchin' my card ♪

♪ Eight hours for what? ♪

♪ Oh, tell me what I got ♪

♪ I've got this feeling ♪

♪ That time's just holding me down ♪

♪ I'll hit the ceiling ♪

♪ Or else I'll tear up this town ♪

♪ Tonight I gotta cut loose ♪

♪ Footloose ♪

♪ Kick off your Sunday shoes ♪

♪ Please, Louise, pull me off of my knees ♪

♪ Jack, get back ♪

♪ Come on, before we crack ♪