Glee (2009–2015): Season 4, Episode 14 - I Do - full transcript

Will and Emma tie the knot on Valentine's Day, with current and former members of New Directions reuniting in Lima to celebrate.

Thanks for coming to meet me.

I half-thought that Brody guy
was gonna be with you, and

I didn't think you'd want to

spend your first
Valentine's Day apart.

Yeah, it's actually a little bit
of a point of contention

between the two of us.

He was... I don't know,
weirded out,

about going to
a stranger's wedding,

- and so I...
- Okay. Okay, cool, cool.

So I-I don't really need to hear
about your new boyfriend

that you're living with,
all right?



Finn, what's going on
right now?

You look like you
slept in those clothes.

And you won't even look at me.

I kissed Miss Pillsbury.

Did she kiss you back?

No, she was totally
freaked out by it.

I don't even know
how it happened.

We've been spending
all this time

together, and then...

she was there, and I just
felt the need to...

And I kissed her, and I...

Does Mr. Shue know?

I don't... I don't think so.

I don't think she'd
tell him, but...



- maybe I should.
- No.

Don't. Just... don't.

Okay?

Remember how you felt about Puck

when you found out
about him and Quinn?

You kicked a garbage can.

I'm the worst person
in the world!

No, you're not.

What you did, it wasn't

great, but I get it.

You're confused,
and... and lonely.

I'm sure that...

just knowing about Brody
and I living together,

it-it set you off.

Not everything
has to do with you.

Look, I don't know what to do.

You always wanted
to be an actor, right?

So here's your
chance to play the role

of the supportive best man.

Um...

Oh, God...

I'd feel a lot more comfortable

- if this door stayed open.
- The whole wall

is glass, and there's like
50 kids walking by.

I don't have time
for this, Finn.

Seriously, this seating chart

is like a giant sudoku.

Will wants his mother
as far away from the bar

as possible,
and all of you Glee kids

have dated so
incestuously that I can't

even remember who can tolerate
who anymore, so...

Look, I'm-I'm worried
about not being able

to do this. Being able to look
Mr. Shue in the eyes. I...

Look, I'm really sorry

that I don't have a pamphlet
handy for you right now,

but I'm pretty sure if I did,
it would say something like,

"Get Over It," okay?

My therapist says
that I use my OCD

to control the uncontrollable.
Ever since I was

a little kid, I would plan
and plan and plan all

my birthday parties
but never actually went through

with any of them
because they were never ready

by the time my birthday
actually rolled around.

- I just wanted to help you.
- Look, when I get on that altar,

and I make my solemn
vows for the second

and, I hope, the very last time,

standing right behind my husband
will be his best man.

That's you... the guy who thought
it was okay to kiss me

a week before my wedding.

The guy who is forcing me

to lie to my fiancé.

And if you really
want to help me,

then just keep a wide berth
and keep your mouth shut.

How's my nervous

little bride doing?

Um, good, I just, I just

really could use some
help with this seating...

Right after Glee practice,
I promise.

Okay.

Come on, Finn.

Okay.

Glee Club!

Mr. Shue, how was D.C.?

D.C. was great,
but now I am back to stay.

Holla! And so, for my
first order of business,

I want to give a big shout-out
to the guy who made sure

I had something to come back
to... Mr. Finn Hudson.

Now... for this week's
assignment...

I hope it's Britney again.

Oh!

Ha, ha, ha!

Miss Pillsbury and I are finally
getting married.

Yeah!
Which makes me the happiest,

luckiest man alive.

Now, Emma has been
handling all the prep,

so to help out,
I thought I'd take charge

of the entertainment
for the reception.

And though this goes
against tradition,

it would mean the world
to me and to Emma

if, instead of giving your
best man's speech, Finn,

you sing for us.

What do you think?

Uh... uh, yeah, of course.

Perfect.

For everyone else who isn't
out with Asian bird flu...

It wasn't me.

...it's a Valentine's
Day wedding, which means,

we need some great romantic

love songs at the reception.

Wait. You want us
to be your wedding singers?

- That is so...
- Awesome.

We'd be honored.

Great. I have
some great ideas.

Oh.

So, her name is Betty.

She's gonna be
sitting next to you.

She's my niece, she's blonde,
she's an amazing singer,

and she has...
um, very large, uh...

Feet?

Boobies.

Oh. Oh, my.

Uh, Miss Pillsbury,

- are you okay?
- What, me? Yeah, I'm fine.

Your locker's not, though.

It's flu season.

I can practically see the virus

growing in here.

I'm sorry. It's just
a little bit

of residual wedding stress.

Nothing that any bride
wouldn't feel

this close to her
big day, though.

Right?

So, I know it's not
Valentine's Day yet, but

I wanted you to open this now.

They're cuff links.

I made it myself from
this old typewriter

my mom and I found
at a garage sale.

I just wanted you
to have them early

so you could wear them
to Mr. Shue's wedding.

These are so cool, but I can't
wait to give you your gift.

You're gonna love it.

I love it already,
I don't care what it is.

I'll meet you after
Spanish class, okay?

Dude, you did get
her something, right?

Not yet,
but I've got some ideas.

I've been brainstorming
with my brother.

You said she has some kind
of eating disorder thing, right?

Yeah. Take her out to dinner.
Save a bunch of cash.

Then you can use
that extra money

to buy a ton of
different lingerie.

Have her put on a fashion show.
Chicks love fashion.

Dude, I know you're, like,
related to that guy,

but he's kind of creepy and
currently dating a sophomore.

All right, I'm not
letting you do any of that.

Dude, I don't know
about this stuff.

Okay, those are the
only ideas that I had.

You want
to do something romantic.

Something she's gonna remember
for the rest of her life.

Well, it's not like I can afford
diamond earrings or a Bentley.

It's not how much money
you put into it.

It's about how much of you
you put it into it.

Well, you got some ideas?

A bunch, which is why
you're going to forget

about Valentine's Day
and make it Valentine's Week.

- Genius.
- Mm-hmm.

Thank you. Say hi to
Mrs. Sanchez for me.

Okay.

Where have you been? I asked
you to come, like, an hour ago.

- I was getting a spray-tan.
- Mr. Shue asked me

to sing him a song
as my best man toast.

So far, I've narrowed it down
to "Confessions" by Usher,

"My Best Friend's Girl," and
"Lyin' Eyes" by the Eagles.

- I can't... I can't go through with this.
- You're gonna

be fine, all right? I'll sing
with you. We can do a duet.

I'll take the lead,
and you can just

sway in the background.

Right. Well, I think
the real issue here is,

whether or not
you can handle singing with me.

I mean, we do have some pretty
dangerous musical chemistry.

I think I can control myself.

Although, I will admit,
you do look very cute right now.

I've been dieting.

I'll pick out a song.

So eagles sit at the
top of the food chain.

Their lifting power
is about four pounds.

It's like a small baby.

Okay, what is going
on with you?

Did you buy more of those
11-hour energy shots?

Because there's a reason
they're illegal in Canada.

Nothing's going on.
What could be going on?

It's history class.

All right.

Jacob, you've
got the floor.

Hello. This is kind of
embarrassing,

- but...
- Jake, what are you doing?!

Are you really standing up

in front of everyone

and singing to prove your love

for Marley?

- Yes, Ryder. Yes, I am.
- Wow.

That's so crazy and
emotionally vulnerable.

I had no idea.

Oh, wait.

Yes, I did.

Marley, I know this is one
of your favorite songs,

so this is for you.

♪ You're all I need ♪

♪ To get by ♪

♪ I, I ♪

♪ You're all ♪

♪ Like sweet morning dew ♪
♪ I need ♪

♪ I took one look at you ♪
♪ To get by ♪

♪ And it was plain to see ♪

♪ I, I ♪
♪ You were my destiny ♪

♪ You're all ♪
♪ With arms open wide ♪

♪ I need ♪
♪ I threw away my pride ♪

♪ To get by ♪
♪ I'll sacrifice for you ♪

♪ I, I ♪
♪ Dedicate my life to you ♪

♪ Oh, oh ♪
♪ I will go where you lead ♪

♪ Come on, baby ♪
♪ Always there in time of need ♪

♪ Oh, oh, oh, and when I lose my will ♪

♪ You'll be there to push me up the hill ♪

♪ There's no, no looking back for us ♪

♪ We got love...sure enough, that's enough ♪

♪ You're all ♪

♪ You're all I need ♪

♪ To get by ♪
♪ You're all ♪

♪ I need ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ To get by ♪

♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ I, I ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh♪
♪ Listen ♪

♪ You're all ♪
♪ Like an eagle protects his nest ♪

♪ I need ♪
♪ For you, I'll do my best ♪

♪ To get by ♪
♪ Stand by you like a tree ♪

♪ I, I ♪
♪ And dare anybody to try and move me ♪

♪ You're all ♪
♪ Darling, in you I found ♪

♪ I need to get by ♪
♪ Strength when I was torn down ♪

♪ Don't know what's in store ♪
♪ I, I ♪

♪ But together we can open any door ♪

♪ Oh, baby ♪
♪ Just to do what's good for you ♪

♪ Come on, darling, oh, oh ♪
♪ And inspire you a little higher ♪

♪ I know you can make a man ♪

♪ Out of a soul that didn't have a goal ♪

♪ 'Cause we, we got the right foundation ♪

♪ And with love and determination ♪

♪ You're all ♪

♪ All the joys under the sun
wrapped up into one ♪

♪ You're all, you're all I need ♪

♪ You're all I need ♪

♪ You're all I need ♪

♪ Oh, to get by ♪

♪ All right ♪
♪ You're all ♪

♪ I need you, darling ♪
♪ Oh, oh ♪

♪ You're all I need to get by. ♪

That was amazing.

- You like it?
- Oh, my God.

She liked it.

That was so romantic.

It is a Carrot Top convention.

I am so over this,
and it hasn't even started yet.

I'm clearly the hottest bitch
in this lousy joint,

but I'm all alone,
stuck here sitting with you.

Do you want me to
slap you again?

I hate weddings,
and I hate Valentine's Day.

They were invented by breeders
to sell cheap chocolate

and false hope.

Do you know what I hate?

Men. Every single

one of them is a pig, except
maybe Mr. Shue and Al Roker.

And you know what?
You were right.

I do let men define
me, but not anymore.

Like Gloria Steinem said,
"A woman without a man

is like a fish
without a bicycle."

Al Roker is disgusting,
by the way.

Whatever.

Hi. Betty?

Yes? Oh, God.

What? Did I beat you to
the last handicap spot? Sorry.

I'm Artie. Miss Pillsbury said I
should look out for you?

- Hell, no.
- Uh...

- No.
- Uh...

No. Wheel away. Wheel...
the hell... away.

My aunt told me she was fixing
me up with someone good-looking,

so that was a lie.

Oh. I mean, some people think
I'm kind of nerdy-hot, so...

No, no, no.

Andrew Garfield
is nerdy-hot.

You are Stephen Hawking's
younger brother.

Miss Pillsbury didn't tell you
I was in a wheelchair, did she?

Um, obviously not, because
I don't date losers in chairs.

- But you're in a wheelchair.
- Yeah,

I'm also blonde, captain of the
cheerleaders at my high school,

and I've got this going on.

You first.

- Thank you, sir.
- Yep.

Oh, my gosh, Jake.
Are these for me?

Yes?

How did you know
I love peonies?

They're the queen of flowers.

Because you mentioned
it in the choir room once,

and Jake remembered.
Right, dude?

- Right. Yeah.
- I love them.

And you.

Thank you.

Had I known I was gonna get
groped in the back of a Prius,

I would've brought
a change of clothes.

I'm gonna go in there looking
The Morning After.

What am I doing?

I'm sort of dating somebody
in New York.

Uh, you're not in New York.
And it's not exclusive, right?

You in this fey boy-tie...
it's my Kryptonite.

Wait, this doesn't mean
that we're back together, right?

No, no, no. It's-it's cool.
I know, I know. It's-it's...

- This is just bros helping bros.
- I love it when you talk fratty.

Tell me that's not Tina again!

Hey, can you two wrap
it up? The wedding is

about to start,
and I need my arm-gays.

Oh, my God.

You do realize how trashy
blasphemous this is, right?

- Mercedes, everyone hooks up at weddings.
- Mm-hmm.

Let's go. This outfit needs an audience.

Oh, my God.

- What are you wearing?
- What?

This old thing? Why,
it's an exact replica

of your wedding dress.

Why would you do that?

To get back at Will
Schuester for handing

a teaching position to
a flabby 19-year-old.

Um... Sue, I feel really scared.

I feel really overwhelmed.

I feel like I can't

think straight. I'm just
really, really worried

that this isn't gonna work.

Well, of course
it isn't going to work.

You're a weird bird-lady
with a hollow pelvis

and OCD, and Will Schuester

is a weepy man-child
whose greatest joy in life

is singing with children
and whose best friend

- is 19.
- It's just, the last time

was such a disaster.
You know, I-I turned

into somebody
that I didn't even recognize.

If I'm wrong again,

I won't survive.
Well,

don't say that
to Will Schuester.

He'll have you singing

a stripped-down acoustic version

of "I Will Survive" in front of
a choir room full of teenagers

with meaningful looks
on their faces.

God, I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

I don't feel like there's
any air in here.

♪ Today is for Emma ♪

♪ Emma, I give you
the rest of my life ♪

♪ To cherish and to keep you ♪

♪ To honor you forever ♪

♪ Today is for Emma ♪

♪ My happily soon-to-be wife ♪

Emma, we're really getting married.

♪ Pardon me, is everybody there?
Because if everybody's there ♪

♪ I want to thank you all
for coming to the wedding ♪

♪ I'd appreciate your going even
more, I mean you must have ♪

♪ Lots of better things to do,
and not a word of this to Will ♪

♪ Remember Will, you know,
the man I'm gonna marry, but ♪

♪ I'm not 'cause I wouldn't ruin
anyone as wonderful as he is ♪

♪ But I thank you all
for the gifts and the flowers ♪

♪ Thank you all,
now it's back to the showers ♪

♪ Don't tell Will, but I'm not
getting married today ♪

♪ Bless this day, tragedy of life ♪

♪ Husband yoked to wife ♪

♪ The heart sinks down
and feels dead ♪

♪ This dreadful day ♪

Emma,

I can't find my good cuff links.
They're on the dresser.

Right next to my suicide note. ♪ Listen,
everybody, look, I don't know what you're ♪

♪ Waiting for, a wedding, what's
a wedding, it's a prehistoric ♪

♪ Ritual where everybody
promises fidelity forever ♪

♪ Which is maybe the most
horrifying word I ever heard ♪

♪ And which is followed by a
honeymoon where suddenly he'll ♪

♪ Realize he's saddled with a
nut and want to kill me, which ♪

♪ He should, so thanks a bunch,
but I'm not getting married ♪

♪ Go have lunch 'cause I'm not getting ♪

♪ Married, you've been grand,
but I'm not getting married ♪

♪ Don't just stand there, I'm
not getting married, and don't ♪

♪ Tell Will, but I'm not getting
married today ♪

♪ Go, can't you go? Look, you know I adore you all ♪
♪ Emma, Emma, I give you ♪

♪ But why watch me die like Eliza on the ice?
♪ The rest of my life ♪

♪ But perhaps I'll collapse in the apse right
before you all ♪
♪ To cherish and to keep you

♪ So take back the cake, burn the shoes and
boil the rice ♪
♪ To honor you forever

♪ Look, I didn't want to have to
tell you, but I may be coming ♪

♪ Down with hepatitis
and I think I'm gonna faint ♪

♪ So if you want to see me faint ♪

♪ I'll do it happily, but
wouldn't it be funnier to go ♪

♪ And watch a funeral, so thank you for ♪
♪ My adorable wife ♪

♪ The 27 dinner plates, 37 butter knives ♪

♪ 47 paperweights, 57 candleholders ♪

♪ One more thing ♪
♪ I'm not getting married ♪

♪ Softly say ♪
♪ But I'm not getting married ♪

♪ With this ring ♪
♪ Still I'm not getting married ♪

♪ I thee wed ♪
♪ See, I'm not getting married ♪

♪ Let us pray that we are
getting married today! ♪

Oh, yeah. Nice to see you all.

Hey, what do you think?

Nice, huh?

Thank you for coming.

Oh, look,
it's all the Glee kids.

Sue. What are you doing?

I'm trying to
stop this from becoming

an utter fiasco.

Emma's left the building.

So, did she give you any idea
why she might do this?

I mean, like, leading up
to today, did she...

- tell you anything or...
- She didn't have to tell me anything.

I left her with all this...

stress and planning.
She was losing it and

I kept telling her that it was
her usual obsessiveness. I...

Yeah, but she left you
at the altar, man.

I mean, that's pretty hard-core.

You think there
is something else?

Do you think there's...

do you think
there's someone else?

I have been chosen,
probably because I'm numb

to other people's feelings,
to come here and ask

what you would like
to do, Mr. Shue.

About what?

Uh, about the reception.

Miss Pillsbury's parents say

they paid
for the whole thing, so...

we might as well go ahead
and have the party and...

if you ask me, they seem pretty
happy about what happened.

- We can't have a reception now.
- Sure you can.

All of you came back,
you should be together.

Just because I ruined
my Valentine's Day

doesn't mean I have
to ruin all of yours, too.

I'm gonna go see
if I can find Emma.

Let's go.

We all should've known that
a Valentine's Day wedding

was just asking for a disaster.

Love stinks.

Sorry, ladies,
can I see some I.D.?

I'm 25. Name's Rosario Cruz.

I might be related to Penelope. You?

Emily Stark. Barely legal.

Well, that's good, 'cause I hear
your professors are into that.

You know, we always
were two ends

of the same bitch-goddess
spectrum.

Maybe that's why we love
each other so much.

And slap each other.

You know, I have
to say, Rosario,

you are killing it
in that dress.

Thanks.

- Those romantic saps.
- You know, they may have love,

but you know what we are
that they are not?

Flawless.

♪ I said

♪ Dance hall, dance hall...

I'm gonna go dance.

Dude, you are like some kind
of love genius.

Do you spend all your time
watching Lifetime?

Marley has... a wicked case
of Puckerman fever,

and I just need one more act
of romantic awesomeness

to make the condition fatal.

Do you think maybe just one of
these gifts should be your idea?

No, my ideas suck. I mean,
I tried to write her a poem,

and the only words
that I could come up with

to rhyme with Marley
was "barley" and "gnarly."

Here. It's a heart pendant
from the jeweler at the mall.

It's pretty but it's
not too expensive,

so she won't think
you stole it.

Okay, I'm going to ignore
the subtly racist overtones

of that comment
because you are my hero.

And this is perfect.

- I am so getting laid tonight.
- What?

Well, I mean, Marley has
wanted to take things slow,

and we have,
which is fine, but...

I mean, all this romance
is like nitrous.

I got us a room upstairs
just in case, but...

I think it's gonna happen.

She's not ready for that.
She's... she's just a sophomore.

She's still getting over
her eating disorder.

She's not like
other girls, okay?

I think I'm in love with her.

And I think she's finally
letting her guard down enough

to love me back.

I promised you
I wouldn't hurt her, right?

Well, I keep my promises.

Especially to friends who are
putting whatever feelings

they're having aside to make
something special happen for me.

♪ When I'm with you, baby ♪

♪ I go out of my head ♪

♪ And I just can't get enough,
and I just can't get enough ♪

♪ All the things you do to me ♪

♪ And everything you said ♪

♪ I just can't get enough... ♪

You know that what happened
today isn't your fault, right?

How do you know?

Because I've seen every
runaway bride movie

that there is, and I know
that when the bride runs away,

it's never because

of a random kiss, all right?

It's because she knew,
deep down inside,

that it wasn't right.

Well, look, it's not everyday

that we're in the same city,
so let's dance.

♪ And I just can't seem
to get enough of... ♪

♪ We walk together ♪

♪ We're walking down the street ♪

♪ And I just can't get enough,
and I just can't get enough ♪

♪ Every time I think of you ♪

♪ I know we have to meet ♪

♪ And I just can't get enough ♪

♪ I just can't get enough ♪

♪ It's getting hotter ♪

♪ It's a burning love ♪

♪ And I just can't
seem to get enough... ♪

Oh, my God.

Did you not get it before?

Yeah, I did.

More than you know.
You're mean

and you're awful
because you're angry

because you're in the chair,
I understand.

Wow, could you be any more
reductive and handi-centric?

I'm fine with my chair.

What I'm not fine with
is suffering fools.

If you think that

- makes me mean and awful...
- I do.

However, I find you
oddly compelling, so...

will you dance with me?

I'm pretty legendary
for my dance moves.

All right, fine. One dance.

That's all I ask.

♪ And when it rains ♪

♪ You're shining down for me ♪

♪ And I just can't get enough,
and I just can't get enough ♪

♪ Just like a rainbow ♪

♪ You know you set me free ♪

♪ And I just can't get enough ♪

♪ And I just can't get enough ♪

♪ You're like an angel ♪

♪ And you give me your love ♪

♪ And I just can't
seem to get enough of... ♪

♪ I just can't get enough, I
just can't get enough ♪
♪ Oh ♪

♪ I just can't get enough,
I just can't get enough ♪

♪ I just can't get enough, I
just can't get enough ♪
♪ Oh ♪

♪ I just can't get enough,
I just can't get enough ♪

♪ It's getting hotter ♪

♪ It's a burning love ♪

♪ And I just can't
seem to get enough of. ♪

I'm gonna get some punch,
do you want anything?

Uh, yeah, I'll take a cup.

But just remember, we're not...

Dating, we're just here
as friends, I know.

Ooh, big cupcakes.

I don't like the way you treat Blaine.
There, I said it.

You're here, you're in New York,

you're at NYADA...
who are you, Kurt?

Meanwhile, Blaine is here,

lonely, and yes, he cheated,
and we're all human, Kurt,

we all deserve
to be loved back, Kurt.

Okay, Tina.
I say this with total love,

but the moment we all
saw coming is finally here.

You're a hag.
You're hagged out,

you're in love with
Blaine, and it's creepy.

Stop.

What do you know about love?

You just come and go.

Who's been here
to support him? Me.

Who took him to
Sadie Hawkins? Me.

Who put him in bed
when he got sick

and rubbed vapor rub
on his little muscled chest

- while he slept...
- Wait, what? Do you... huh?

What?

No, I didn't mean...

This isn't about me,
Kurt! I have to go.

Did you vapo-rape
my ex-boyfriend?

Don't walk away from me,
Tina Cohen-Chang!

Today is the day
we honor Saint Valentine,

a man publicly beheaded
for defying his government,

by exchanging candies
and chocolates

to nonsensically render
the objects

of our affection more fat

and less attractive.

And in other
nonsensical traditions,

Emma left behind her bouquet
as she fled the scene,

leaving it to somebody else

to toss these soon-to-be-dead

flowers under
the mythical belief

that whoever catches them

will magically become the
next person to get married,

or, more than likely,
to sprint from the altar.

So gather round,
single ladies, and allow me

to be the one to enable

your false dreams and
ridiculous expectations.

That's weird.

See, traditionally
only single girls

line up to catch the bouquet.

She loves me.

I am single.

You live with a guy.

She loves me not.
Have you been drinking?

You know, you were
the one who told me

to stop moping around and
being such a sad sack.

She loves me.

A-And it got me thinking
about Will and Emma.

About how relationships
are a lot like flowers.

If you find the right seed,

put it in good soil,

give it water and sunlight...

Bam, perfect bud.

She loves me not.

And then comes winter

and the flower dies.

But if you tend that garden,

spring will come along

and that flower
will bloom again.

She loves me.

Are you telling me
that you want to be a gardener?

I'm asking you how you can

live with a guy
but still be single.

She loves me not.

Come on, it's New York, okay?

Haven't you ever seen
Sex and the City?

Brody and I had a very

mature conversation.

We just decided that
we're not gonna, you know,

put any labels on anything
or worry about what we are.

She loves me.

So, do you really believe

all that stuff
you tell yourself

about, you know, labels

and mature conversations,

Sex and the City, really?

She loves me not.

You think I'm lying to you?

I think you're
lying to yourself.

She loves me.

And I think that the reason

you can't really commit
to Brody is because

you're still in love
with someone else.

She loves me not.

You?

You and I both know
how this thing ends.

I-I don't know
how or when,

and I don't care
where you're living

or-or what dope
you're shacked up with,

you're my girlfriend.

We are endgame.

I know that

and you know that.

We got to go sing
our duet, so...

Yeah.

♪ I know it's late ♪

♪ I know you're weary ♪

♪ I know your plans ♪

♪ Don't include me ♪

♪ Still here we are ♪

♪ Both of us lonely ♪

♪ Longing for shelter ♪

♪ From all that we see ♪

♪ Why should we worry? ♪

♪ No one will care, girl ♪

♪ Look at the stars, now ♪

♪ So far away ♪

♪ We've got tonight ♪

♪ Who needs tomorrow? ♪

♪ We've got tonight, babe ♪

♪ Why don't you stay? ♪

♪ Deep in my soul ♪

♪ I've been so lonely... ♪

I've never slow-danced
with a girl before

♪ All of my hopes
are fading away... ♪

I like it.

♪ And I've longed for love ♪

♪ Like everyone else does ♪

♪ I know I'll keep searching ♪

♪ After today ♪

♪ So there it is, girl ♪

♪ We've got it all now ♪

♪ And here we are, babe ♪

♪ What do you say? ♪

♪ We've got tonight ♪

♪ Who needs tomorrow? ♪

♪ We've got tonight, babe ♪

♪ Why don't we stay? ♪

♪ I know it's late ♪

♪ And I know you're weary ♪

♪ I know your plans
don't include me ♪

♪ Still here we are ♪

♪ Both of us lonely ♪

♪ Both of us lonely ♪

♪ We've got tonight ♪

♪ Who needs tomorrow? ♪

♪ Let's make it last ♪

♪ Let's find a way ♪

♪ Turn out the light ♪

♪ Come take my hand now ♪

♪ We've got tonight, babe ♪

♪ Why don't we stay? ♪

♪ We've got tonight, babe ♪

♪ Why don't we ♪

♪ Stay... ♪

Tell me now that we're
not back together.

I mean...

It was fun, but...
Don't.

I'm not gonna let you
minimize this, Kurt.

It's no accident
that we were together

on Christmas and again
on Valentine's Day.

And we're going to be together
for many, many more,

no matter how much you pretend

that this doesn't mean anything.

I'll see you downstairs.

Okay.

So that's why college
girls experiment.

And thank God they do.

You know, it was fun,
and I've always wondered

what it would be like
to be with a woman,

but, uh, I don't know.
I think for me

it was more of a one-time thing.

Look, you don't have to worry.

I'm not going to show up
at your house with a U-Haul.

So what happens next?

Well, you could walk out first.

Or we could make it
a two-time thing?

Was it good for you?

I don't know. You?

No idea.

- I'm sorry.
- Eh, don't be.

- But you spent so much money on this room.
- No, I didn't.

I just snagged a key card
from the maid's cart

and tried every door
till one opened.

- Are you serious?
- No.

Come on. Can we at least
make it back downstairs

for another dance?

Let's go.

Hello? My God.

This is amazing.

Just a little something
I threw together.

Only took two whole days,
but you're worth it.

Thank you.

I felt bad about us
not being together

on Valentine's Day,
but since, uh,

Kurt and Santana are out
until tomorrow,

I thought we could
take advantage.

Did you kiss somebody else
when you were away?

- You're kissing differently.
- What if I did?

- I thought we were in a modern and
open relationship.
- Yeah, we are.

But, I mean, the key is
that we are honest

with each other
with everything that we do.

So, did you see Finn?

Finn's fine.
He lives in Ohio.

And I live here with you.

Cool?

Like a cucumber.

Thank you for being
honest with me.

Well, speaking of being
honest, what about you, huh?

- Mm-hmm.
- Who did you see? Who did you do?

Sure there are a
lot lonely girls

in New York City
on Valentine's Day.

I stayed at home and watched
weightlifting videos.

Well, thank you for
being honest with me.

Care to join me in the bedroom?

Is it okay if I pass tonight?

I have airplane belly.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Of course.

I am kind of worn out
from the night before you left.

- Okay, so, couch time and...
- Yes!

...I will get some popcorn.

I'm glad to have you back.

I genuinely missed you.

Before you say anything, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I attacked
you at the reception.

It's just, I saw you up
there, singing with Blaine,

and I saw the old,
legendary chemistry.

I saw two soul mates
rediscovering each other,

and I was jealous.

Why couldn't that be me?

Why can't I have that
with someone?

You will, just not with me.

I'm sorry that I've been
throwing myself at you,

making a fool of myself,

hoping for something
I know can never be.

It's okay, Tina.
The truth is,

we've all experienced
unrequited love before,

and we've all done
things that we wish

we didn't, and we all just want
to get back to being friends.

And that's just what we are.
I mean, we're just friends.

Um, well, we're going
to the double feature

of All About Eve and Showgirls
at the revival house

- if you want to come with us.
- Wow.

Mystery solved,
Hagatha Christie.

I'm gonna be a third wheel
for the rest of my life.

First of all, that's
not even remotely true.

Starting right now, I'm gonna
help you get a boyfriend.

And second of all,
when I called you a hag,

I was bringing
attention to the fact

that you are honoring the noble
and proud tradition of hagdom.

- Ha, ha, ha.
- Yeah, and I, for one, am psyched

that my very first hag was
someone as kick-ass as...

Ms. Tina Cohen-Chang.

Hey.

Sorry I didn't get to
see you after the party.

- I wanted to say thank you.
- Uh, for what?

Come on. Jake is awesome
and everything, but he's not

capable of that. Any of it.

I know it was you whispering
in his ear like Cyrano.

Like who?

Anyway, it was sweet.

And romantic.

And whenever you do that
for someone for real,

she's going to be the
luckiest girl on the planet.

It was for real.

I'm sorry.

I should probably go.

Yeah.

- Uh, that was a fresh cup.
- Clearly it's not working.

You're sitting there
looking half-asleep.

- What has gotten into you, Finn?
- Everything.

The whole situation... it sucks,
and it's time to fix it.

No one ever felt

better sitting around, moping,
feeling sorry for themselves.

That's what Glee Club, and you,
have taught me over the years.

Never shy away from a challenge,
never back down.

And-and no matter what,
do not give up.

I am not giving up. I...

I just need time to process.

Look, there's no time
to process, Mr. Shue.

Somewhere out there right now

there's a Miss Pillsbury
running around

who should already
be a Mrs. Schuester.

Emma needs her husband,

and the New Directions!
need both of their coaches.

I'll be right by your side.

I'm your best man.

We're going to go
and win nationals again...

together.

And together,
we're gonna find your wife.

And we're gonna
make things right.

Okay.

Thank you.

- Surprised to see me?
- No.

I saw you two minutes ago. You
took forever wheeling up here.

Before I went home,
I wanted to apologize

for being so bitchy
at the wedding.

When I get nervous,
I get kind of mean.

Kind of mean?
You were like Idi Amin mean.

I know, I'm working on that.

Anyway, thanks for
putting up with me.

And thanks for...

You're, like, the
best I've ever had.

And I've had a lot.

Oh, me, too.

I mean, my sexual prowess
is legendary

throughout
the Great Lake states.

Give me your digits, woman.

- Why?
- 'Cause this Saturday I'm taking you out.

Like on a date?
Yes, definitely a date.

We'll grab some dinner,
maybe see a movie...

Or we could just skip the
dinner and movie, and...

Charter a private jet,
fly to Paris,

dance under the Arc de Triomphe
in the Champs-Elysées?

Yo, when you're rolling
with Artie Abrams,

anything can happen.

♪ Stripped to the waist,
we fall into the river ♪

♪ Cover your eyes
so you don't know the secret ♪

♪ Yeah, since we found out ♪

♪ Since we found out ♪

♪ That anything could happen ♪

♪ Anything could happen, anything could ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh ♪

♪ After the war
we said we'd fight together ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ I guess we thought
that's just what humans do ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ But now I've seen it through ♪

♪ And now I know the truth ♪

♪ That anything could happen ♪

♪ Anything could happen,
anything could ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Baby ♪

♪ I'll give you everything you need ♪

♪ I'll give you everything you need, oh ♪

♪ But I don't think I need you ♪

♪ Stripped to the waist,
we fall into the river ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Yeah, since we found out ♪

♪ Since we found out ♪

♪ That anything could happen ♪

♪ Anything could happen,
anything could ♪

♪ I know it's gonna be ♪

♪ I know it's gonna be ♪

♪ I know it's gonna be ♪

♪ I know it's gonna be ♪

♪ I know it's gonna be ♪

♪ I know it's gonna be ♪

♪ All right ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, oh, yeah, oh, yeah ♪
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Oh, yeah, ooh-ooh ♪ Ooh,
ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh ♪

♪ But I don't think I need you ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Anything could happen ♪

Sync for WEB-DL by Id0x0