Glee (2009–2015): Season 3, Episode 9 - Extraordinary Merry Christmas - full transcript

When New Directions is asked to perform at two different events - on the same day, at the same time - they have a tough decision to make. Will they choose correctly and spread Christmas cheer, or will their ambition get the best of them?

? I don't want a lot for Christmas ?

? There is just one thing I need ?

? I don't care about the presents ?

? Underneath the Christmas tree ?

? Make my wish come true

? All I want for Christmas

? Is

? You...

? I don't want a lot for Christmas ?

? There is just one thing I need ?

? Don't care about the presents ?



? Underneath the Christmas tree ?

? I don't need to hang my stocking ?

? There upon the fireplace

? Santa Claus won't make me happy ?

? With a toy on Christmas Day

? I just want you for my own

? More than you could ever know ?

? Make my wish come true

? Baby, all I want for Christmas ?

? Is you...

? Baby ?

? Oh...
? All I want for Christmas ?

? Is you ? ? Oh...

? Baby ?



? All I want for Christmas ?

? Is you ? ? All I want for Christmas

? Is you.

Best Christmas ever.

Glee S03E09
"Extraordinary Christmas"

Here's my list.

I thought we agreed the "things
did wrong this week" list

- was hurting more than helping.
- My Christmas list.

I heard you were having
a little trouble figuring out

what to get me.

I'm freaking out.
I have no idea

what to get Rachel for Christmas.

When in doubt, go with socks.

- A wok is always good.
- What about soil?

I agree with Artie about the socks.

You see?

This is why I don't have
a high-maintenance girlfriend.

Or any girlfriend, for that matter.

Who told you? Kurt?

- No.
- Yes.

- But I can't afford all this stuff.
- Oh, no, silly. No, no.

I just put 15 things on the
list, and you can pick out five.

Look, in a... in a few weeks,
I'm going to find out if I'm

a finalist for NYADA or not, and,

well, I just... I'd really love
to have a little Yuletide bauble

as a good-luck charm
for my audition.

Spray tan?
Teeth whitening? I mean...

I'm just trying
to make it easier for you.

If you'd like, you can make
a list for me also.

Well, like the song says, "All
I want for Christmas is you."

Aw. All I want for Christmas
is you, too.

And five things on that list.

I love you.

Holy crap, I'm dating Kim Kardashian.

Wheels, Porcelain, Other Gay,

the Yuletide is upon us,
and everyone knows

that Cistmas is a time
for forgiveness,

so I have decided to forgive
you for having no talent

and ruining the American songbook

one mash-up at a time.

I've also forgiven you for forcing me

to run in and promptly lose

an humiliating statewide election.

We... accept your forgiveness?

Now, Christmas isn't just a time

when Jewish kids get
slightly uncomfortable

and dwarves get jobs
as Santa's helpers

in demeaning nonunion commercials

that make them quietly die inside.

No, Christmas is also
a time to give back.

Which is why, this Friday,
I am volunteering

at the Lima Homeless Shelter.

And I thought maybe you and
your fellow glee clubbers

might want to pitch in by
giving the gift of song.

Coach Sylvester, I've heard you
say on several occasions

that you don't believe
in homelessness.

You said you considered
homeless people

urban campers.

Can I be honest with you,

Stumbles, Gelfling,
young Burt Reynolds?

I lost my sister this past year,

and this will be my first
Christmas without her.

And honestly, I'm just trying
to keep myself occupie

I... I made plans
to shoot reindeer

from a helicopter with
Sarah Palin, but she canceled.

Apparently,

Todd gets fussy when she misses

his ballet recitals.

We'd be happy to help.

Oh, that's fantastic.

And now, in the spirit of Christmas,

get the hell out of my office.

We might have spent
r entire decorating budget

for the whole year,
but with something that looks

as absolutely fabulous as this,

I have to say,
brav-ho-ho-ho.

Hey, everybody,
listen up. My man,

Rory Flanagan here,
wants to say a few.

Thanks, Finn Hudson.

So, guys, my mummy
was going to come visit

for the holidays,
but plane tickets are expensive,

so it's my first Christmas
without any family.

I'd like to cheer myself up

by dedicating this song
to them... and to the King.

Jesus?

? I'll have a blue

? Christmas

? Without you

? I'll be so blue

? Just thinking

? About you

? You'll be doing all right

? With your Christmas of white

? But I'll

? Have a blue

? Blue, blue, blue Christmas

? I'll have a blue

? Christmas ? Ooh, ooh ?

? That's certain

? And when the blue

? Heartache stops hurting

? Ooh, ooh ?

? You'll be doing all right

? With your Christmas of white

? But I'll

? Have a blue

? Blue

? Christmas

? Ooh ?

? Ooh...

Gosh, that song was so depressing.

I may actually be dead right now.

I-I think, what Santana
means is, although that...

that was mournfully beautiful,

now that the whole glee club
is back together,

I think that we should focus
on the more joyous

and the pageant aspect
of this holiday season.

Rachel's right.

Last Christmas was super sad.

Kurt was at another school,

Coach Sylvester trashed everything,
and Artie got a pair of magic legs

that broke the next day.

We were the island of misfit toys.

This year is going to be...

This year, it's a whole new
sprig of mistletoe.

Guess who's not getting coal

in their stockings
foonce... us.

Rory, have a seat.

just got off the phone
with Don Borowski,

the local station manager
at Lima's PBS affiliate.

Turns out that their annual broadcast

of the Yule log burning
has been canceled.

The hell? Yeah, they can't afford
the licensing fees anymore.

But thank you,
Scrooges who own that copyright,

because Don came to Sectionals,
he loved what we did

- and he is offering us...
- A Christmas special featuring all of us?

Okay, please say you said yes.

Not only did I say yes,
but when Don said

that they were looking
for a director for the special,

I nominated you, Artie.

- Me?
- Yeah.

He saw West Side Story,
loved your work,

and he wants to take a meeting.

But I...

I swore I would never sell out
and do television.

I'm really going to have
to think about this, Mr. Shue.

I'll have to show you my
locker stacking secrets

so that never happens again.

Is that your family?

The whole Flanagan clan.
It's hard, isn't it?

Being away from them.

It's so hard.

It's harder than I ever imagined.

I know the feeling.

I'm only a few hours
away from my family,

and I miss them like crazy.

What are you going to do
for Christmas this year?

I'm even not sure.
Brittany and her family

are going on a trip
to see a gay Santa.

Something about Santa Fe.

Why don't you spend the
holiday with, uh, my family?

I-I need help staying awake on the
drive, plus, this whole week,

I'll be your Christmas sponsor.

Really show you what the holiday
spirit's about in the USA.

That'd be so awesome, Sam.

I am absolutely delighted

that our channel's Christmas special

is being directed
by a teenage disabled boy.

You're like a modern day Tiny Tim.

Oh. I am sorry.

Tiny Tim could walk.

In the spirit of Christmas, I'm going

to pretend you never said that.

Here's the dealio,
Mr. Borowski.

I have two ironclad demands.

The first one came to me
last night in a dream.

The Wookiee was right.

The best Christmas show of all time is

The Star Wars Holiday Special,
shown only once

in 1978, then locked away
in the Lucasfilm vault

like the precious jewel it is.

Every fanboy in the galaxy knows

it's completely awesome.

Therefore, Star Wars must be
a part of our Christmas special.

And I also want to shoot
it in black and white.

Black and white?

It will be an homage to the
second best special of all time,

the Judy Garland Christmas show.

You know, some s Judy was high
on pills and booze, but...

I say she was high
on excitement and Baby Jesus.

Kid, you can shoot the thing
in 3-D,

starring a flock of pigeons,

as long as you can produce
it for under 800 bucks.

I can do it, sir. I know I can.

? It's coming on Christmas

? They're cutting down trees

? They're putting up reindeer

? And singing songs of joy and peace ?

? Oh, I wish I had a river

? I could skate away on

? I wish I had a river so long

? I would teach my feet

? To fly

? Oh, I wish I had a river

? I could skate away on

? I made my baby cry

? He tried hard to help me

? You know, he t me at ease

? He loved me so naughty

? Made me weak in the knees

? Oh, I wish I had a river

? I could skate away on.

Yeah.

Rachel, could you come see me?

Yes, Artie, of course.

And if this is about my ears,

I know that they're
a little naked right now,

but that's just because I'm
waiting for something special.

Something that's really
gonna sparkle and, you know,

catch the light.
So what's up?

It's not about your ears,
it's about your song.

It makes me want to kill myself.

I'm sorry, Joni Mitchell is
not depressing, she's emotional.

It doesn't fit my vision
for our Christmas spectacular.

And what is that exactly?

We begin in the Swiss Alps,
in the village of Gstaad,

in the perfely-appointed
living room of Kurt Hummel

and Blaine Anderson's
chic swank chalet.

The tree towering and opulent.

The fireplace draped in garlands.

The stockings bejeweled.

Kurt and Blaine,

the perfect hosts have invited
their friends to drop in

for an evening of Noel
Coward-esque banter

and fun, happy,
cheer-filled songs.

Are you telling me I'm not invited
to Kurt and Blaine's for Christmas?

Not unless you pick a happier song.

The evenins festivities
conclude with Rory,

dressed as the Christmas elf Itchy,

reciting "Frosty
the Snowman."

Start with fun, end with fun.

That's how you do it, kids.

The Frosty story isn't fun.

At the end, he melts and dies.

I'm rebooting Frosty.

In my version, he doesn't melt.

He...

Well, new pages forthcoming.

What's wrong with a story
that's a little sad

or a song that's a little depressing?

I mean, that's part
of Christmas, too, right?

It's the sad things

that make you remember
what's really important.

Sorry, Sam, but the phrase is "Merry
Christmas," not "morose Christmas."

That's the vision.

That's what you have to buy into.

Well, sorry, Artie,
I'm not buying into it.

I'm gonna go downtown, see if I can ring one
of those Salvation Army bells. Come on, Rory.

I'll give you a ride.

I should memorize my part, Sam.

Hey.

Bummer about Artie going all
Scrooge on your song.

I'm getting a song
in that Christmas special.

Christmas is all about giving,
and Artie certainly wouldn't be

in the Christmas spirit if
he didn't let me give my talents

to the people of Western Ohio.

At least, the ones
who don't have cable.

Speaking of giving, don't you
think it would be a shame

for me to sing on television
for the first time without me

sparkling in the glow
of one of your generous gifts?

Oh, you want me to give
you your present early?

I hadn't even thought about
that, but what a sweet idea.

Yeah.
Okay, yeah.

All right.

Okay. Usually it comes
in a box, but...

Okay.

Where's my bling?

Well, that was a little
out of my-my price range,

but-but then I saw this commercial for
these African sow pigs you can adopt.

You pay, like, two bucks a
month to fatten them up for

a whole year, and then they feed
a family for, like, a month.

You gave me a dead pig for Christmas?

No, no, it's not dead yet;
you got to get it fat first.

- I'm a vegan.
- Look, I thought

Christmas was about giving, okay?

Which is why I gave you
a super specific list.

Look... it's very sweet
that you gave me a pig...

It's an African sow pig.

Whatever it is, I...
I appreciate it.

But I made you a list
so that you wouldn't

embarrass yourself like this.

I'm not asking for much.

All I want is what's coming to me.

All I want is my fair share.

Guess I'll give the sow pig
to my mom or something.

That is such a great idea.

It's gonna be the best Chrtmas ever.

? He came into my dreams last night ?

? A great, big man in red and white ?

? He told me that it's gonna be ?

? A special year for you and me ?

? Underneath the mistletoe

? Hold me tight and kiss me slow ?

? The snow is high, so come inside ?

? I want to hear you say to me

? It's a very, very,
merry, merry Christmas ?

? Even better than the one before ?

? Gonna party on
till Santa grants my wishes ?

? Think he's knocking
on my front door ?

? Got my halo on, I know what I want ?

? It's who I'm with

? It's an extraordinary
merry Christmas ?

? Won't you meet me
by the tree? ?

? Slip away so secretly

? Can't you see
how this could be? ?

? The greatest gift of all

? It's a very, very,
merry, merry Christmas ?

? Even better than the one before ?

? Gonna stay with you
till Santa grants my wishes ?

? Think he's knocking
on my front door ?

? Got my halo on, I know what I want ?

? It's who I'm with

? It's an extordinary
merry Christmas ?

? Even better than the one before ?

? It's a very, very,
merry, merry Chrtmas ?

? Even better than the one before ?

? It's an extraordinary
merry Christmas. ?

I bow to you.

Oh, God. Gold.

Gold! That's what
I'm talking about!

I see Cheerios behind you,
kind of a dancing Santa thing.

Just as long as they don't upstage us.

Yeah, as long as they
don't upstage us.

Good.

Look at you do-gooders.

Hard at work.

Coach Sylvester, we're in
the middle of rehearsal.

Yeah, and I think it's great
you're working so hard on

your performance.
And I'll tell you what.

Everyone at the homeless shelter

is really looking forward to the show.

I just wanted to confirm

with you, Artie,
that we're on for Friday night.

Oh, Friday.

It's a no-can-do on Friday.

We're taping our Christmas special

for the Lima PBS.

You told me you were in.

This is a huge opportunity for us.

Can we just do it another night?

Homeless will be homeless for a while.

That's sort of the problem.

I promised them.

You don't want to disappoint
these kids.

Hmm, like your behavior
has disappointed us for years?

Last Christmas, you cut down our tree,

you stole our presents and you made
Becky dress up like a reindeer.

So you're gonna walk away
from people who have nothing?

No, not at all.
We're just gonna distract them

from their plight
and the smell of urine

and make them happy with
our glamorous Christmas cheer.

The homeless don't have TVs.

So you're all agreed on this?

Fine.

Merry Christmas.

Let's take it from the top, guys.

And remember, smile.

Live from Lima, Ohio,
it's the Glee Holiday Spectacular!

Starring Rachel Berry,
Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman,

Kurt Hummel and Blaine Anderson,

Mike Chang and Tina Cohen-Chang,
no relation

featuring Mercedes Jones
and Rory Flanagan,

with special guests Santana Lopez,

Brittany S. Pierce
and the Cheerios.

The Glee Holiday Spectacular
is directed by Artie Abrams.

Tonight's special is
brought to you by Breadstix.

Now with even more breadsticks.

Are we live?

And action!

? Oh, the weather outside
is frightful ?

? But the fire is so delightful ?

? And since we've no place to go ?

? Let it snow, let it snow,
let it snow ?

? It doesn't show signs of stopping ?

? And I bought some corn for popping ?

? The lights are turned way down low ?

? Let it snow, let it snow,
let it snow ?

? When we finally kiss good night ?

? How I'll hate
going out in the storm ?

? But if you really hold me tight ?

? Then all the way home I'll be warm ?

? The fire is slowly dying

? And, my dear,
we're still good-bye-ing ?

? But as long as you love me so ?

? Let it snow, let it snow,
let it, let it snow ?

? Oh, the weather outside
is frightful ?

? But the fire is so delightful ?

? And since we've no place to go ?

? Let it snow, let it snow,
let it snow ?

? The weather outside is frightful ?

? But the fire is so delightful ?

? And since we've no place to go ?

? Let it snow, let it snow,
let it snow ?

? It doesn't show signs of stopping ?

? And I've bought some corn
for popping ?

? The lights are turned way down low ?

? Let it snow

? When we finally kiss good night ?

? Finally kiss good night

? How I'll hate
going out in the storm ?

? But if you finally hold me tight ?

? Finally hold me tight

? Then all the way home I'll be warm ?

? And, my dear,
we're still good-bye-ing ?

? But as long as you love me so ?

? Let it snow, let it snow

? Let it snow, let it snow ?

? Oh

? Oh, oh

? Oh, let it snow ? Oh, let it snow.

Hello.

Well, I guess we're all in
the spirit of the season by now.

Let me apologize for not
introducing myself sooner.

I'm Kurt Hummel,
one of your hosts this evening.

Thank you.

And this is my, um...
best friend

and holiday roommate, Blaine Anderson.

How do you do?

Welcome to our bachelor chalet.

We've also asked a few

of our other special friends to dp by.

But I hope they can make
it over the mountains

and through the woods
in this dreary weather.

Oh, come on, now, Kurt.
You know if they get stuck in the snow,

they can always hitch
a ride on Santa's sleigh.

Oh, you!

Hey, it's true.

Oh!

Oh, I'm terribly sorry for keeping yo

standing outside,
shivering on the porch.

Please, come in.
Please, come in.

Watch your step. Come on now.

Don't be shy.
Please, come, come.

Come right on in.
Make yourself at home.

Blaine, please offer our guests
some holiday libations.

I apologize,
but I must check my bid on

the Elizabeth Taylor Christie's
jewelry auction online.

Kurt.

Oh, no!

Oh, what happened?

Did Mariah outbid you
on that necklace you wanted?

That I could take.

The Internet is down because
of this inclement weather.

I didn't get to put my bid in on time.

Christmas is canceled!

Who could that be?

The door's open.
Come on in.

Oh, sorry, we're late.

Hope there's still eggnog.

For you two, always.

Oh, Kurt, how are you?
You look great.

I love what you've done
with the place.

Just a splash of color.

May me take your sweater? Blaine.

Oh, forgive me.

Everyone, these are
our very good friends,

Rachel Berry, Mercedes Jones.

at's going on, boys?

Well, we're on television.

Oh, television?
Us, too?

Hello.

This is for you, Kurt.

For me?
May I open it?

Oh, I wish you would.

Oh, my dear.
Oh, what is in here?

- Here we go.
- Ooh.

Oh, my goodness!
Oh, my dears!

How did you know?

Ladies and gentlemen,
if you can believe it,

from the Elizabeth Taylor auction,

ladies and gentlemen,
it's Miss Taylor's

diamond and emerald necklace
and pendant.

Oh!

Thank you.
Thank you so much.

I cannot believe it.

It is truly a Christmas miracle.

Truly a Christmas knockoff.

Mercedes, don't give
away all of our secrets.

Blaine, this is for you.

Oh, why, thank you so much, Rachel.

It's a bow tie with little
Christmas trees on it.

Oh, would you look at that?

Would you look at that?

And there's a little surprise

under the wrapping paper.

Why, they're candy cane striped
Capri pants.

You know what the best part is?

I actually don't already own a pair.

If you can believe that.

Oh, jewels and short pants

and bow ties and good friends.

Truly, this is an ideal evening.

But, Blaine, you know
what's really needed now.

Oh, I think I do.

Rachel, Mercedes?

Oh, we couldn't possibly.

We're not prepared!

Oh, come now.
The piano's just sitting there,

its ivories waiting to be tickle

Well, there is a little something

that we've been working on.

I'm in if you are.

Well, it is Christmas, after all.

- That's just grand.
- Come on. Let's go.

Oh, Kurt, Mercedes, Blaine,
you know, I've realized

that there's some favorite things

that can't be bought
line or in a store

or even in a catalog.

They're right here
in front of my nose.

For instance...

Raindrops and roses
and whiskers on kittens

? Bright copper kettles
and warm woolen mittens ?

? Brown paper packages
tied up with strings ?

? These are a few
of my favorite things ?

? Cream-colored ponies
and crisp apple strudels ?

? Doorbells and sleigh bells
and schnitzel with noodles ?

? Wild geese that fly
with the moon on their wings ?

? These are a few
of my favorite things ?

? Girls in white dresses
with blue satin sashes ?

? Snowflakes that stay
on my nose and eyelashes ?

? Silver white winters
that melt into springs ?

? These are a few
of my favorite things ?

? When the dog bites,
when the bee stings ?

? When I'm feeling sad

? I simply remember
my favorite things ?

? And then I don't feel...

? So bad

?

? Raindrops on roses
and whiskers on kittens ?

? Bright copper kettles
and warm woolen mittens ?

? Brown paper packages
tied up with strings ?

? These are a few
of my favorite things ?

? Cream-colored ponies
and crisp apple strudels ?

? Doorbells and sleigh bells
and schnitzel with ndles ?

? Wild geese that fly
with the moon on their wings ?

? These are a few
of my favorite things ?

? Girls in white dresses
with blue satin sashes ?

? Snowflakes that stay
on my nose and eyelashes ?

? Silver white winters
that melt into spring ?

? These are a few
of my favorite things ?

? When the dog bites,
when the bee stings ?

? When I'm feeling sad

? I simply remember
my favorite things ?

? And then I don't feel...

? So bad.

Say, when's Christmas dinner?

Oh, no, you guys!

With all the guests and the songs,

I forgot to turn on the oven.

Kurt!

Oh, great.

Whatever else could go wrong?

I suppose we'll have to find out...

after these messages
from our sponsors.

And then I said to Justin
Timberlake, "That's not eggnog!"

Gee whiz, you guys, it's really
coming down out there.

Blaine is right, you guys.

Global climate change
is no laughing matter.

Our overreliance
on fossil fuels is causing

erratic weather patterns
like this one.

I think these are the end times.

Well, if there's one thing
we can all agree on

is that if it keeps snowing like this,

Santa Claus won't be able
to bring us our presents.

Wait! Did you hear that?

Jingle bells?

Sorry, guys. Just us.

Hello.

Oh! How rude of me.

Ladies and gentlemen,

Finn Hudson and Noah Puckerman!

Ooh!

Say, are you dressed like
Luke Skywalker and Han Solo?

No. That's copyright
infringement.

Any resemblance
to Star Wars characters

is purely coincidental.

Hey, guys, why the long faces?

It's Christmas Eve or something.

We thought we heard Santa Claus,

but with the climate change
and end times,

we just don't think
Santa Claus is coming to town.

Well, that's not what we heard.

? Oh, you better watch out

? You better not cry

? You better not pout,
I'm telling you why ?

? Santa Claus is coming to town ?

? Santa Claus is coming to town ?

? Santa Claus is coming

? To town

? He's making a list,
he's checking it twice ?

? He'gonna find out
who's naughty or nice ?

? Santa Claus is coming to town ?

? Santa Claus is coming to tow?

? Santa Claus is coming

? To town

? Oh, you better watch out

? You better not cry

? You better not pout,
I'm telling you why ?

? Santa Claus is coming to town ?

? Santa Clause is coming to town ?

? Santa Claus is coming to town ?

Ho, ho, ho, ho!

? You'd better watch out,
you'd better not cry ?

? You better not pout,
I'm telling you why ?

? Santa Claus is coming to town ?

? Yeah

? Santa Clause is coming to town ?

? Santa Claus is coming to ?

? Santa Claus is coming
to town. ?

oorbell rings)

Oh, my stars.
More guests?

I hope it's carolers!

?

? "Bah, humbug!"
No, that's too strong ?

? 'Cause it is my favorite holiday ?

? But all this year's been
a busy blur ?

? Don't think
I have the energy to add ?

? To my already mad rush

? Just 'cause it's 'tis the season ?

? The perfect gift for me would be ?

? Completions and connections
left from last year ?

? Ski shop,
encounter most interesting ?

? Had his number, but never the time ?

? Most of '81 passed
along those lines ?

? So deck those halls,
trim those trees ?

? Raise up cups of Christmas cheer ?

? I just need to catch my breath ?

? Christmas by myself this year ?

? Merry Christmas, Merry Christs ?

? Couldn't miss this one this year ?

? Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas ?

? Couldn't miss this one this year ?

? Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas ?

? Couldn't miss this one this year ?

? Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas ?

? Couldn't miss
this one this year. ?

All my Christmas wishes came true.

All except for one.

RACHEL; Oh, my goodness, could it be?

Could it be?

Itchy the Holiday Elf.

We asked our friend Itchy
to stop by and read us

a lighthearted, heartwarming,
upbeat, happy Christmas tale,

"Frosty the Snowman."

Actually, I was going
to read that, but...

I searched my heart,

and I'm going to read one
from a different book.

I think it's something that's
going to remind people

what the true spirit of
Christmas really is.

Are you sure you don't
want to read "Frosty"?

We all really want
to hear "Frosty."

Lights, please.

"And there were in the same country

"shepherds abiding in the field,

"keeping watch over
their flock by night.

"And lo, the angel of
the Lord came upon them,

"and the glory of the
Lord "shone around them.

"And the angel said
unto them, 'Fear not.

"'For behold,

"'I bring ye good tidings

"'of great joy, which
shall be to all people:

"'for unto you is born this day
in the city of David a savior,

"which is Christ the Lord.'

"And suddenly there was
with the angel a multitude

"of the heavenly host,
praising God and saying,

"'Glory to God in the highest,

"'and on earth, peace,

goodwill toward men.'"

What?

Everyone's just been telling me you've been having
a rough year, but you seem pretty od to me.

I'm better.

Think I was just stuck focusing
on everything I didn't have

and none of the stuff that was good.

Stuff in the future.

I'm glad you turned it around.

You deserve good things, Quinn.

I'm trying.

Ah, ah, ah, ah!

Portion control, Bee Sting.

Come on.

Guess you're just not
used to being on this side

of the serving line.

Seriously though, I don't think we
have enough food for everybody.

Yeah.

Economy gets bad, people give less.

Hey!

I know we're late, but we were all
hoping there's still time to help.

We brought the turkey from the
special with all the fixings.

Yeah, it's a prop but it's real.

Why don't you put it
on the table over there, kiddo.

You guys finally me around.

Well, you can thank Rory
for helping us see the light.

I was just following
my Christmas sponsor's lead.

Would it be weird
if I made myself a plate?

We have a song, too.
We were gonna perform it

as our final number
for our Christmas special,

but we lost the final
ten minutes of airtime

when the station reached
a last-second agreement

with those Yule log people.

As long as it's not
"Jingle Bells."

It seems it's the only song our janitor knows
how to play, and I'm bleeding from the ears.

If you'd be so kind.

- Sure.
- Love your "Jingle Bells" though.

? It's Christmastime

? There's no need to be afraid

? At Christmastime

? We let in light
and we banish shade ?

? And in our world of plenty

? We can spread a smile of joy

?hrow your arms around
the world at Christmastime ?

? But say a prayer

? Pray for the other one

? Oh, at Christmastime, it's hard ?

? But when you're having fun

? There's a world
outside your window ?

? And it's a world of dread and fear ?

? Where the only water flowing

? Is the bitter sting of tears

? And the Christmas bells that ring ?

? Are the clanging chimes of doom ?

? Well, tonight thank God it's them ?

? Instead of you

? And there w't be snow
in Africa this Christmastime ?

This Christmastime, no ?

? The greatest gift
they'll get this year is life ?

? Is life

? Where nothing ever grows

? Nothing ever grows

? No rain or rivers flow

? Do they know
it's Christmastime at all? ?

? Yeah

? Feed the world

? Let them know it's Christmastime ?

? Feed the world

? Let them know it's Christmastime ?

? Feed the world

? Let them know it's Christmastime ?

? Feed the world

? Let them know
it's Christmastime again. ?

Just the guy I was looking for.

Hi.

I wanted you to know
that I named my pig.

The African sow pig?

Yep. Come here.

Her name is Barbra.

After my hero.

I mean, I'm assuming
that she's a girl.

But I just hope that pig Barbra
inspires all of the children

who eat her as much as the
real Barbra inspired me.

So it's a kosher sow pig?

Yeah.

Look, the important thing is, is that I just
want you to know that I'm really sorry.

Okay, I-I love her and I love you, and
that's all that matters to me on Christmas.

Okay?

Well, I-I'm glad
you like the pig...

Barbra.

Barbra.
But, uh, then I realized

that once they kill and eat Barbra,

you're not gonna have anything to
show for this year's Christmas.

So I got you something else.

You ready?

Yes.

It's your own star.

You named a star after me?

Well, no.
I, uh, I thought about that,

but then I named it Finn Hudson.

Because there's already
a star named Rachel Berry.

And she's right here on earth and she's
brighter than any of those stars up there.

So I just wanted to make sure
that whenever she feels lonely,

she can look up in theky,
and no matter where I am,

she can know
that I'm looking down on her.

When it's nighttime.

I love this.

I'm gonna put it up right over here.

And, uh, just in case
it's-it's cloudy

or, uh, the middle of the
daytime or the star explodes

in some massive supernova...

these should shine just as bright.

- It's too much.
- No, no, it's okay.

I-I hawked my letterman jacket
on eBay, so...

No, no.

It's too much wonderful for one girl.

I mean, I get the-the guy
and the stars and...

The pig.

I think it's time
that I start giving back.

Come on.

Let's go get our coats.

These bells make me homesick.

You mean, like church bells and stuff?

No.

My brother Shamus gets
lost all the time,

so my dad made him wear
a bell around his neck

so we could always find him.

Smart.

Merry Christmas.

Sam, I was wondering if maybe

you'd like to be my Valentine's
Day sponsor as well.

I mean, you did such a good
job being a Christmas sponsor,

I figured you'd have no problem

helping me land a snog
or two by February.

Deal. But you have to help me

learn to perfect my Sean Connery.

I'm telling you,
impressions are the best way

to get a chick.

Whoa!

So how's business, guys?

Uh, a little slow.

But the revival house
across the street

is showing It's a Wonderful Life,

so pretty sure we'll clean up
when it gets out.

Well, just in case, we wanted to make

our own little contribution
to the cause.

Sure you want to do this, Rachel?

Yes. I already got
my Christmas present.

All right, guys.

Whoa, did you guys knock off
a liquor store or something?

No, we just finally realized
what really matters.

Yeah, we returned the earrings
that Finn got me for Christmas

and the iPod that I bought him.

We decided we wanted to do

something special this year
for Christmas.

We've got a couple of extra
bells if you want to join in.

We'd love to.

Best Christmas ever.

- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.

Happy Hanukkah.

Happy holidays.

Thank you so much.
Thank you.