Glee (2009–2015): Season 3, Episode 16 - Saturday Night Glee-ver - full transcript

New Directions pays homage to the film "Saturday Night Fever" by grooving to the disco-infused dance numbers.

So here's what you missed
on Glee: Sue's helping

the glee club win nationals,
so Figgins won't give the

Cheerios! to Roz Washington,
who has bronze medals

in synchronized swimming
and trying

to take other people's jobs.

You are done!

Sam and Mercedes were
sort of dating,

but she called it off in song,
and it totally bummed him out.

Rachel and Finn were supposed
to get married,

but they got in a huge fight
'cause Rachel wants

to go to New York, and Finn
might want to go to L.A.

And he thinks she only thinks
about herself, which is
sort of true.

And she thinks
that he's sort of lost,
which is definitely true.

In fact, a lot of the New
Directions have no idea
what they're doing,

and graduation is right around
the corner.

They should change their name
to the No Directions.

And that's what
you missed on Glee.

(bell ringing)

(Bee Gees' "You Should Be
Dancing" begins)

♪ My baby moves at midnight ♪

♪ Goes right on till the dawn. ♪

♪ My woman takes me higher. ♪

♪ My woman keeps me warm ♪

♪ What you doin' on your back? ♪

♪ Ah! ♪

♪ What you doin' on your back? ♪

♪ Ah!
You shshould be dancing, yeah! ♪

♪ Dancing, yeah! ♪

♪ She's juicy
and she's trouble ♪

♪ She gets it to me good ♪

♪ My woman gives me power ♪

♪ Goes right down to my blood ♪

♪ What you doin' on your back? ♪

♪ Ah! ♪

♪ What you doin'
on your back? ♪

♪ Ah! ♪

♪ You should be dancing, yeah! ♪

♪ Dancing, yeah! ♪

♪ What you doin' on your back? ♪

♪ Ah! ♪

♪ What you doin' on your back? ♪

♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha ♪

♪ Dancing, yeah! ♪

♪ Dancing, yeah! ♪

♪ You should be dancing, yeah! ♪

♪ You should be dancing, yeah! ♪

♪ Ha...! ♪

♪ You should be dancing, yeah! ♪

♪ Ha...! ♪

♪ You should be dancing, yeah! ♪

♪ Hoo, yeah ♪

♪ You should be dancing, yeah! ♪

Wow, guys, what
brought this on?

Well, we know this year's
nationals theme was "Vintage,"

so we thought we needed
something old,

but something
with a lot of energy.

So we thought: disco.

Absolutely. I don't know if
I ever told you guys this,

but back when I was
in Glee Club,

we took it all the way
to nationals with

the pure power of
unadulterated disco.

♪ Let's dance! ♪

(KC & The Sunshine Band's
"That's the Way (I Like It)"

♪ Oh, that's the way,
uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

♪ I like it, uh-huh, uh-huh. ♪

Um, well, there's only
one problem with that idea.

And what's that?

Disco sucks!

I'm so distracted

I can't even
stage musical numbers

on my scale model Glee Club

Here we are weeks away
from graduation,

and I've got three seniors
in trouble.

If Noah's Ark Pool Cleaning
Service can do 20 pools a week

at 50 bucks a pop, I'm making...

Do you even know how
to use a calculator?

First, there's Finn.

He's got all this talent,
but no self-esteem.

Which is why Finn should
come to L.A. with me.

And then there's Mercedes.

She's just as talented
as Rachel and Kurt,

but she doesn't have
the vision.

If I do not find an outfit
that portrays

the paranoid near-eastern
mise-en-scéne, I'm screwed.

And I'm really worried
about Santana.

She's got all the ambition,

but she doesn't have
the focus.

Blaine's handsome
brother said it best:

college is a waste of time.

I just want to be famous,
plain and simple.

Don't even care
how it happens.

I just want everyone
to know my name.


(bell ringing)

Honestly, I don't know
what to do.

I feel like I'm out of ideas.

Oh, let's be honest, William.

You've been out of ideas
since Madonna week.

Why don't you
just embrace

that lazy, horribly treacly
style of teaching

and assign them a famous album?

I did that last year.

Yes, I remember, William.

And your Rumours week was
a resounding success

in that it seemed to solve

everyone's problems
for about five minutes.

Now I'm not talking about
just any album, William.

How about the soundtrack
that defined a generation?

Wait for it.

Saturday Night Fever.

I love that album.

You bet your ass
you love that album.

But there's just one problem--

they hate disco.

But they love swag.

Jean jackets!

Some mattresses!

Dinner for two at Breadstix.


(all cheer)

Let's give 'em something
to fight over.


I'm thrilled you got into
Defiance College

and Cleveland State,
but what about NYU?

Kurt Hummel?
Mercedes Jones?

I'm sorry to interrupt,
but I'm your biggest fan.

I've been to every last one
of your performances,

except West Side Story.

I boycotted that one because
you two weren't Tony and Maria.

Why, hello, kind sir.

I don't believe
I caught your name.

Wade Adams.
I go to Carmel High.

And I'm in Vocal Adrenaline,
and I know we're supposed

to be archenemies,

but I swear,
I'm not here to spy.

I want to ask your advice
about something.

Our coach is
Jessie St. James.

The star of Vocal Adrenaline is
Vocal Adrenaline.

No one is special.
You're The Borg.

You don't like it,
there's the fricking door.

Am I clear,
Chunks McGriddle?

Yes, sir.

I can't hear you!

Yes, sir.

God, he's awful.

He's nothing compared to the
kids at school... or my parents.

Do you know how
I get through it?

Ever since I was a kid,
I would play this game

where I'd pretend I was
a different person,

the person
that I dreamed of being...

the real me.

I even have a different name:


I got so nervous,
I almost didn't speak
to you guys today.

But then I thought,
how would Unique do it?

What about NYU?

Wait, wait.
Hold the thought.

Someone with exquisite
taste is wearing...

Joy. By Jean Patou.

Kurt Hummel and Mercedes Jones,

Unique worships
the red carpet you walk on.

If you two had a love child,
it would be Unique.

And Unique's grandparents would
be Andre Leon Talley

and Beyoncé, because only
the best will do for Unique.

Yes, fools,
it's real chinchilla!

Unless you're planning on
splattering it with paint.

Then it's fake.

KURT: Unique sounds
like a really great person.

I hope that,

one day, you can build up
enough courage to be him.

Actually, Unique's a "her."

That's why I want
your advice.

Our regionals are
this Saturday,

and I want to go on stage
wearing a dress and heels.

Because that's who I feel
like I am inside.



What would you do?

(bell ringing)

Did someone steal our floor?

Don't worry, we'll have it back
by the end of the week.

In the meantime,
Sue has lent us her... very own personal,

lit-from- within,

Plexiglas dance floor.

Modeled, of course,
on the dance floor

immortalized by a young,
musky John Travolta

at the height
of his potency

in the legendary

Saturday Night Fever.

Coach Sylvester, while we
applaud your proper use

of the terminology,
we told Mr. Shue

we do not support disco
in this room.

Ah, but some of you do.

So for this week's assignment,

we are going back in time...

to the songs of
"Saturday Night Fever."

Come on, Mr. Shue.
That's, like,

a record our parents listen to.

That album, teen Solomon Grundy,

is one of the best-selling
soundtracks of all time.

Tony Manero's story is
your story.

He's a guy who works
at a paint store,

struggling to
figure out his life.

And the only time
he feels sure about himself

is when he's performing
on the dance floor.

He has a dream.
To get out of his

old neighborhood in Brooklyn
and get to New York City.

And by the end of the movie,
that's what he's done.

He's turned his
dream into a plan.

So why the dance floor?

Well, Porcelain,
because we're going to start

with a dance-off.

And the winner
will receive

a replica of
John Travolta's iconic

white polyester suit,
which I am having a cadre

of expert Viennese
tailors painstakingly reproduce.

("Calypso Breakdown" playing)

Oh, my God, I need that suit!

Oh, I bet that's worth
a lot of money.

I would totally put
that suit on... eBay.

So you just want us

to start dancing
like Soul Train-style?

Uh, no, actually, Sue
and I will start us off.

We actually met
with Joe and Blaine beforehand.

Just get up when you're ready.

And everyone has to participate.
Everyone, Puck.

All right, hit it.

(Bee Gees' "Night Fever" plays)

♪ Listen to the ground,
there is movement all around ♪

♪ There is something
goin' down ♪

♪ And I can feel it ♪

♪ On the waves of the air,
there is dancin' out there ♪

♪ If it's somethin'
we can share ♪

♪ We can steal it ♪

♪ And that sweet city woman ♪

♪ She moves through the light ♪

♪ Controlling my mind
and my soul ♪

♪ When you reach out for me ♪

♪ Yeah, and the feelin' is
bright ♪

♪ The night fever, night fever ♪

♪ We know how to do it ♪

♪ Ooh, oh... ♪

♪ Gimme that night fever,
night fever ♪

♪ We know how to show it ♪

♪ In the heat of our love ♪

♪ Don't need no help for us
to make it ♪

♪ Give me just enough
to take us to the morning ♪

♪ I got fire in my mind ♪

♪ I get higher in my walkin' ♪

♪ And I'm glowin' in the dark,
I give you warnin' ♪

♪ And that sweet city woman,
she moves through the light ♪

♪ Controlling my mind
and my soul ♪

♪ When you reach out for me ♪

♪ Yeah, and the feelin'
is bright ♪

♪ Give me night fever,
night fever ♪

♪ We know how to do it ♪

♪ Feels like forever, baby,
don't you know? ♪

♪ The night fever, night fever ♪

♪ We know how to show it ♪

♪ Hoo! ♪

♪ Here I am ♪

♪ Prayin'
for this moment to last ♪

♪ Livin' on the music so fine ♪

♪ Borne on the wind ♪

♪ Makin' it mine ♪

♪ The night fever,
night fever. ♪

(song ends)

Okay, officially, officially,
you guys are amazing.

I was just conferring
with my co-judge,

and our three finalists
for the suit are

Santana Lopez...


Mercedes Jones...


Finn Hudson.


Give it up.

Come on.


Congrats, guys.
You three are the finalists

of the Saturday Night Fever
Dance Competition.


High stakes here.

Which one of you
will walk away

with Sue's coveted
white suit?

Sounds kind of
cool to me.

Oh, great.
It's yours.

Can we go now?

Okay, look.

This isn't really about a suit.

It's about living
out your dreams.

Of all the seniors
in New Directions,

you three have
yet to decide

what it is you want to do
with your lives.

So your assignment
for the week:

perform a song
from Saturday Night Fever,

and then share your hopes
for the future.

No, wait.
The dance thing is fixed?

So what is this,
some teacher's

manipulative game
to get us tell you

what we want to be
when we grow up?

Hey, if you want to look
at it that way, fine.

But this is
your game,
your life.

And guess what,
time's running out.

(bell ringing)

Where does Mr. Shue get off

telling me how to have a dream?

Just because I don't want
to rush off to New York

like Berry and star
in a revival of Sister Act

doesn't mean I don't know
what I want to do with my life.

And I'm sorry, having a dream
isn't the problem.

I have the dream; I just
don't know how to get there.

So, make no mistake--
Mercedes Jones has desire

and ambition so hot,
it's a mother-freakin' volcano.

(Tina Turner's "Disco Inferno"

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burnin' ♪

♪ To my surprise ♪

♪ One hundred stories high ♪

♪ People getting loose now ♪

♪ Getting down on the roof ♪

♪ They're turnin' ♪

♪ Folks screaming ♪

♪ Out of control ♪

♪ It was so entertaining ♪

♪ When the boogie
starts to explode ♪

♪ I heard somebody say ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco Inferno ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burthat mother down ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco Inferno ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn that mother down ♪

♪ Up above my head ♪

♪ I hear music ♪

♪ I hear music in the air ♪
♪ I hear music ♪

♪ That makes me know ♪

♪ There's a party somewhere ♪

♪ Ow! ♪

♪ Satisfaction ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ Came in a chain reaction ♪

♪ Burnin' ♪

♪ I couldn't get enough ♪

♪ So I I had to self-destruct ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Do, do, do ♪

♪ The heat was on ♪

♪ Rising to the top ♪

♪ And everybody's going strong ♪

♪ That is when
my spark got hot ♪

♪ I heard somebody say ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco Inferno ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn that mother down ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco Inferno ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn that mother down ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Ow! ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn that mother down ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Disco Inferno ♪

♪ Burn, baby, burn ♪

♪ Burn that mother down. ♪

(song ends)

(applause and cheering)

All right, I have
an announcement to make.

Contrary to current opinion,

I do have a dream.

See, my dream is


It's Whitney--

rest in peace.

It's Aretha.

Those are people.

They aren't dreams.

My dream is to be like them.

To sing big, fat, juicy,

number-one hits
that inspire people.


how's that supposed to happen,
even if I move to L.A.?

I don't know what to do...
or where to go.

It's scary
to even think

about moving all the way
across the country.

Well, I mean,

I'm moving to New York,

You'll have somewhere
to stay.


You'll have something to do.

You have two parents
that support you.

And my dad is a dentist.

He thinks my dream
is unreasonable

and insane.
You know what,

he's right.

I don't know the first thing

about getting a recording
contract or a manager.

The cream always rises
to the top, Mercedes.

Yeah, I'm cream in here,
Mr. Shue.

But what if, out there,
I'm just... skim milk?

(bell ringing)

You should talk to him.
Help him.

He called me spoiled and
self-centered, okay.

He can come to me
and talk to me first.

That's a great way
to start a marriage.

So what's up, dude?
We doing this L.A.
thing or what?

'Cause I had to go

And if I get a one-bedroom,
you're screwed.

Two dudes in one bed
is like confirmed gay.

I can't.

Look, that's your dream,
not mine. Uh...

Dude, I can't go
without you.

You're my best friend.

You can do anything
without me, man, okay?

You never needed me before.

Yeah, but if you're
there with me,

then that big city
won't seem so... scary.


Scary? Nothing
scares you, man.

Your five-mile ride on top
of Mrs. Witt's Chrysler

is still a car-surfing
record, okay.

Seriously, just... you'll have
that place wired in no time.

So if you're not going with me,
what are you going to do?

I still really don't know.

Well, do me
one favor, would you?

When you do find your dream,

make it as big as you are.

I don't know much,
but I know this.

You owe it to yourself.

And now you owe it to me.


Porcelain, Wheezy, have a seat.


What are you talking about?

As you may as well know,
I have a large portion

of this school bugged
and wiretapped.

I am already pushing the
very limits of physics

by joining forces
with Will Schuester.

And you repay my help

by giving tips to the enemy?

Oh, no, that's not
what happened at all.

Wade was asking us for advice,
because he wants to wear a dress

and perform
at Regionals

as his alter ego Unique,

an-and we didn't think
it was a very good idea.

It's not a good idea.

It's a great idea.

But Coach Sylvester,
this is Ohio.

I don't think many people
are gonna be down with that.


He'll tank them
at Regionals.

And then New Directions will
coast to a win at Nationals.

I happen to have a pair
of 13 wides right here.

Where did you get those?

They were autographed
by my good friend Janet Reno.

And she wore them on the day
they caught the Unabomber.

Deliver these
unto Unique.

Get him to cram his hamhocks

into these platoons
at Regionals,

and we'll be well on our way
to a National Championship.

(Yvonne Elliman's
"If I Can't Have You" playing)

♪ Don't know why ♪

♪ I'm surviving
every lonely day ♪

♪ When there's got to be ♪

♪ No chance for me ♪

♪ My life would end ♪

♪ And it doesn't matter
how I try ♪

♪ I gave it all ♪

♪ So easily ♪

♪ To you, my love ♪

♪ To dreams
that never will come true ♪

♪ Am I strong enough
to see it through? ♪

♪ Go crazy is what I will do ♪

♪ If I can't have you ♪

♪ I don't want nobody, baby ♪

♪ If I can't have you ♪

♪ Ah, huh ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ If I can't have you ♪

♪ I don't want nobody, baby ♪

♪ If I can't have you ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ If I can't have you ♪

♪ Huh... huh... ah-ah... ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ If I can't have you ♪

♪ I don't want nobody, baby ♪

♪ If I can't have you ♪

♪ Oh, oh, no ♪

♪ Don't want nobody ♪

♪ If I can't have you ♪

♪ I don't want nobody, baby ♪

♪ If I can't have you ♪

♪ Ah-ah-huh ♪

♪ No ♪

♪ If I can't have you. ♪

(applause and cheering)


And I could see exactly
where you were going with it.

This was more than just a
beautiful love song to Brittany.

It's also a powerful way
to convey your dream

that marriage equality
will someday be a reality

for everyone,
and you're off

to law school to make it happen!

Of course
I want marriage equality.

And yeah, Brittany will
always be my girlfriend.

But my mistress is fame.

And that song was all about how
I can't live withouts my fame.

Then I'll have to say
I'm disappointed in you.

Fame is not something
to aspire to.

How about you save the lecture
for the theatre nerds

that are gonna starve
in New York

while desperately trying
to tap-dance their way

into the chorus of Godspell?

No offence, Gayberry.

And everyone can
stop their hating,

because you all want
to be famous, too.

The only difference is

that I'm a thousand percent sure

that I'm actually
going to be famous,

just like I'm a thousand

percent sure that
our Man/Child piano player

keeps a petite Eurasian locked
in a trunk underneath his bed.

Sorry, James.

Write this down--

'cause there will
be a quiz--

I'm gonna be famous.

If it's the last thing I do.

(footsteps approaching)

I got your tweet.

"Anyone who's engaged to me

should come to the auditorium."

You could've just texted.

Yeah, but I wasn't sure
if we were speaking.

I miss you.

I miss you, too.

Now I feel like I'm finally
reentering my body.

I really don't like
not talking to you.

I mean, nothing feels real
unless you're there
to tell it to.

I never realized how much
time we spent talking.

I've been thinking, and if you
don't want to go to New York,

then we don't have to.

Wh... Wh... That's crazy.

I don't want to stand
in the way of your dreams.

Look, the only reason why
we've been focusing on my dreams

is because we haven't taken
the time to look into yours.

What if your dreams
are bigger than mine?

I don't think that's
going to be a problem.

I mean, I did one of
those quizzes online

that was supposed to tell you
what job you'd be good at,

and my results were
"competitive eating champion."

Okay, sit down.

My whole life, I felt like
I was in the wrong place.

Like I was just some alien,
an-and... no one understood me.

But all I had to do was just

go to New York.

Go home to Broadway,

and then everything
would be fine.

But I was wrong.

My home isn't some place,
it's... someone.

It's you.

Of course, I want us
to go to New York,

and... maybe we will.

But not until we give
your dreams an equal shot.

You love me that much?

Are you just figuring
that out now?

So, can I please
sing to you about it?

I mean, it's from the movie,
and it's really good.

Do I have a choice?

Well, you know,
I kind of planned
No choice.

the whole singing thing
first, just in case

you took a little convincing.

I mean, I'd hate for
it to go to waste.

("How Deep is Your Love" begins)

♪ Ah... ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh... ♪

♪ I know your eyes
in the morning sun ♪

♪ I feel you touch me
in the pouring rain ♪

♪ And the moment that
you wander far from me ♪

♪ I want to feel you
in my arms again ♪

♪ And you come to me ♪

♪ On a summer breeze ♪

♪ Keep me warm in your love ♪

♪ Then you softly leave ♪

♪ And it's me you need to show ♪

♪ How deep is your love ♪

♪ How deep is your love ♪

♪ How deep is your love ♪
♪ Oh... ♪

♪ I really need to learn ♪

♪ 'Cause we're living
in a world of fools ♪

♪ Breaking us down ♪

♪ When they all
should let us be ♪

♪ We belong to you and me ♪

♪ Na na na na na ♪

♪ Yeah... ♪

♪ How deep is your love ♪

♪ How deep is your love ♪
♪ Oh... ♪

♪ I really need to learn ♪

♪ 'Cause we're living
in a world of fools ♪

♪ Breaking us down ♪

♪ When they all
should let us be ♪

♪ We belong to ♪

♪ You... ♪

♪ And me. ♪

(bell ringing)

This pile, uh,
is places in Ohio

that you actually have a shot
at an athletic scholarship,

so you hang onto those.

And then these
are the ones

with the, uh,
cool glossy papers

that you got excited about.

It's a lot to go through.

Yeah. I mean,
what do you think, Finn?

Think your dream is
hidden in there somewhere?

I don't know.
This is a lot of choices.

Well, there's no rush.

I mean, there's a little,
you know, rush,

because the applications
are due soon,

and, well, I mean,
there's the whole

we need to figure out

where we're gonna begin
our lives thing, but

there's no rush.


Well, I guess I just need to

take some time
with these by myself,

and see if I can, you know,

shake a dream
out of here somehow.
It's in there.


Hey, uh...


All of you.

Hey, Finn...

We believe in you.


(bell ringing)

Santana, watching
"Two Girls One Cat"

was like staring into
the face of God.

Thank you.
New favorite movie.

Why is everyone staring
at me like I'm Finn

and I just won
a butter-eating competition?

It's because you're famous.

Everybody's loving the sex tape
of us I posted on the Internet.

What?! Brittany, that
sex tape was private.

We made that for us.

No, I know, but I spliced it
together with a video of

Lord Tubbington performing
everyday household chores.


Why would you do that?

'Cause you said you
wanted to be famous.

So I looked up all
the famous people that I knew,

and they all have sex tapes.

So I put ours out there.

I'm really excited
about it!



(bell ringing)
Come with me.

What, are you going through
the garbage now?

Oh, come on. I know you were
just humoring us in there.

I could see it in your face.
So I followed you out.

What was I supposed to say, man?

S-Sorry, I'd rather puke

than spend a minute in
any of those places?

Right in front of
Rachel, with...

a big smile on her face,
all proud of herself?

She just wants
what's best for you.

Yeah, she does.

Until she realizes her
fiancé is a total loser.

Is that what you're scared of?

It's the truth.

Doesn't anybody understand that

maybe the reason I don't know
what to do with my life

is because I'm not
qualified to do anything.

You just don't know
what you want yet.

What I want is for time to stop.


I want it to feel like
I'm on the football field

and the crowd's going nuts!

Or I-I want it to feel
like I'm on the stage

during a performance, and
everybody's on their feet.

So let's find
something out there

that gives you that feeling.
Of being young?

Where is it?

Show me.

I want you to watch this for me.

Look, Mr. Shue,
I don't really feel like doing

my Glee homework right now,
I just...

I think you know what
you want for your life.

I think you're just scared
to say it out loud.

I want you to see
what it looks like

when someone follows
their dream,

even though everyone else

tells them it's impossible.

You can do anything
you want to, Finn.

It's not the broken dreams
that break us.

It's the ones we
didn't dare to dream.

(Bee Gees' "Stayin' Alive"
playing over TV)

♪ Well, you can tell by
the way I use my walk... ♪

(bell ringing)

You make a cat emptying
the dishwasher look sexy.

I love you, Santana Lopez.

Awesome, right?

Don't thank me
for your new fame.

You know, it didn't really
cross my mind to thank you.

Yeah, well, you say the dream,
and I help build your dream.

And that's what
a partnership is about, right?

Listen, Britt,
I totally understand

how you could think
that you were helping me,

but you gotta
take the video down.

No way! Now that we just
got your boob in the door,

we can't rest.

I came up with an idea

that will make you,
like, Snooki famous,

but without all
the blackout drinking.

We need to book you
on a reality TV gig ASAP.

So I've narrowed it down
to a few possibilities.

Number one: I see how
you keep your car,

so you could totally
be on Hoarders.

You just need to start storing
your poops in the trunk,

and I'm sure they'll book you.

No. Brittany,
I can't do that.

Well, you have to,
if you want to be on the show.

Or... this is
my favorite one.

You can eat that.
It's a bull testicle.

I drove all the way to
Spencerville to get it.

You know, it came with a pair,

but I got hungry on
the way home, so...

It tastes just like
a chicken testicle.

I don't get it.

It's for Fear Factor.

If you want to be famous,
you have to eat crazy stuff.

Just let me know how far
you're willing to go for fame.

It's up to you.

(bell ringing)

I feel horrible.

We should never have
given Wade those high heels.

Look, there's still
time to stop it.

I mean, he wouldn't
actually go out like that.

Would he?

Well, Finn dressed up
like Lady Gaga,

and I never thought
that would happen.

Oh, thank God.

Hey, Wade!
We just came by to

tell you to break a leg.

And to make sure you're
still dressed as a guy.

Not for long.

Look, Wade, I know we
sent you those shoes

as a good-luck gesture, but

w-we talked it over,
and you can't do this.

I admit that I've worn some
flamboyant designer outfits,

but I've never dressed up
like a woman.

That's because you
identify yourself as a man.

I thought you, of all people,
would understand.

I'm wearing them.

Wow. Look who Schuester
sent to spy on me.

The laziest person alive

and the pasty-faced ghost boy.

Come on.

We're not spies.
We're friends of Wade's.


All the more reason to
fire him after the show.

Ladies and gentlemen, please
welcome to the stage

from Carmel High in Akron, Ohio,

Vocal Adrenaline!

(K.C. & the Sunshine Band's
"Boogie Shoes" begins)

Hey... yeah ♪
♪ Ooh yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪
♪ Ooh yeah ♪

♪ Listen ♪

♪ Girl, to be with you ♪

♪ Is my favorite thing ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Uh-huh, yeah ♪

♪ I can't wait till
I see you again ♪

♪ Yeah yeah,
uh-huh, uh-huh ♪

♪ I want to put on ♪

♪ My my my my boogie shoes ♪

♪ Just to boogie with you ♪

Excuse me. Pardon me. Excuse me!

♪ I want to put on ♪
Out of my way, please.

Move, move.
♪ Just to boogie with you ♪

Wade! Get off the stage, now!

♪ I want to do it ♪


♪ Till the sun comes up ♪

♪ I want to do it
till the sun comes up ♪

Off the stage now!
Hey, hey!
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ I want to do it ♪

♪ Till I can't get enough ♪

♪ I want to do it
till I can't get enough ♪
♪ Yeah, uh-huh ♪

♪ I want to put on ♪
♪ I want to put on ♪

♪ My my my my boogie shoes ♪
♪ My boogie shoes ♪

♪ With you, with you,
with you, yeah ♪

♪ I want to put on ♪
♪ I want to put on ♪

♪ My boogie shoes ♪

♪ Hey hey hey yeah ♪
♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ I'm ready right ♪

♪ My my my my boogie shoes ♪

♪ Hey, yeah ♪

♪ My boogie boogie shoes ♪

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Yeah-ah-ah-ah-ah ♪

♪ My my my my my boogie shoes ♪

♪ I want to put on ♪

♪ My my my my boogie shoes ♪
♪ Yeah ♪

♪ And boogie with you ♪

♪ Ah, yeah ♪

♪ I want to put on ♪
♪ Put on, yeah ♪

♪ My my my my boogie shoes ♪
♪ Put on ♪

♪ To go boogie with you ♪

♪ I want to put on ♪

♪ I want to put on ♪
♪ My my my my my boogie shoes ♪

♪ My boogie shoes ♪

♪ Just to boogie with you ♪

♪ Ah, yeah ♪

♪ I want to put on ♪

♪ Hey yeah ♪
♪ My my my my boogie shoes ♪

♪ Just to boogie with you ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Yeah! ♪

(audience cheering, whistling)


Hey. You said you
wanted to see me?

Yeah. Uh...

I think
I finally figured out

what song from Saturday Night
Fever I want to do.

But, uh, it doesn't work
without a dance partner.

Well, actually, it doesn't
work without you...

just like everything else
in my life.

(Bee Gees'
"More Than a Woman" plays)

♪ Oh, girl, I've known you
very well ♪

♪ I've seen you growing
every day ♪

♪ I never really looked before ♪

♪ But now you take
my breath away ♪

♪ Suddenly you're in my life ♪

♪ Part of everything I do ♪

♪ You've got me working day
and night ♪

♪ Just trying
to keep a hold on you ♪

♪ Here in your arms
I found my paradise ♪

♪ My only chance for happiness ♪

♪ Oh-oh, oh ♪

♪ And if I lose you now,
I think I would die ♪

♪ Oh, say you'll always be my
baby, we can make it shine ♪

♪ We can take forever ♪

♪ Just a minute at a time ♪

♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪

♪ More than a woman ♪

♪ Hoo, now baby ♪

♪ More than a woman to me ♪

♪ More than a woman ♪

♪ Hoo, hoo, my baby ♪

♪ More than a woman to me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah! ♪

♪ More than a woman ♪

♪ Ooh-hoo, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

♪ More than a woman to me ♪

♪ Oh, so much more ♪

♪ More than a woman ♪

♪ Hoo, baby♪

♪ More than a woman to me ♪

♪ More than
a woman to me ♪

♪ More than a woman ♪

♪ Hey-ey-ey-ey ♪

♪ More than a woman to me ♪

♪ Whoo, yeah-yeah ♪

♪ More than a woman ♪

♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ More than a woman to me ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

♪ More than a woman. ♪

(bell ringing)

That was incredible!

That was amazing!

You're definitely gonna
win the prize.

I already did.

But look, there's more.

I figured out what
I'm gonna do next year.

Can we sit down?

Ay, why am I nervous?

Don't be nervous.

Mr. Shue made me watch
Saturday Night Fever.

It was really good,

and I realized I'm a lot
like Tony Manero.

Except for the whole
being-able-to-dance thing.

When I saw that movie,
I realized the way

that Tony took on the world...

I want to do that, too.

I want to move to New York.

Like Tony. Like you.

I want to live
in New York City with you.


Are you serious?!


I knew it.

I'm gonna make you
really happy, I promise.

Just... there's more.

Just wait. Uh,

what was that acting show,
on Bravo,

with the swear words and the
cool dude you made me watch?

James Lipton.

I applied to his school.

I want to go
to Inside the Actors' Studio.

It's... It's just
"The Actors' Studio,"

but that's great.

It's a perfect,
perfect fit for you.

You just, you know, you can't...
do this for me, all right?

It has to be for you.

It's too much pressure
for me to handle.

It is for you, but it's
also what I want.

It's my dream.

I want to be an actor.

I guess I was always afraid
to admit it

because I was scared of failing,

but I'm not scared anymore...

'cause of you.

I want to be a great man
for you, Rachel.

And I want to see myself
the way you see me;

like I'm capable of anything.

Dreaming big.

I love you so much...

and you deserve that.

You're my hero;
you know that, right?

You're mine.

I cannot believe
Unique pulled that off.

There's something
to be said

about the power
of a dream.


He took a risk
and it paid off.

But I guess that's just
having a dream.

Hey, Mercedes.

I know we haven't
talked much,

but I have something
that I need to show you.

No more songs, Sam.

One more.

Don't worry. This time I'm not
the one singing.

♪ Burn, baby, burn... ♪

That's me.


Wait-- did you post this
to YouTube without asking?

Can you hear yourself?

You're amazing,
and you look stunning.


Mm, I can't look.

No. Look.

484 of them are positive.

One of them
was disappointed

because they thought
"Mercedes Inferno"
was a car-fail video.

I can't believe
you did this for me.


Because I believe in you and
what you could become.

Now complete strangers
believe in you, too.

You just need to find a way out
to L.A. and do your thing.

It's time for this dream

to stop being a dream
and become a reality.

Listen to them.

They all want to buy
your album, and so do I.

You ain't no skim milk, baby.

You're the cream
rising to the top.


(bell ringing)

Boobs Magoo,
words simply cannot describe

how disappointed
I am in you.

And look at
poor Brittany.

Her chagrin is limited
only by the fact

that she has a brain

the size of a toddler's fist.

I can show you
the MRI.

And it's not just the sex tape.

My goodness, sex tapes
are a dime a dozen these days.

I myself made a sex tape
with Oliver North.

Wasn't very popular,
probably because

we released it
on Betamax.

I think Cheney still has a copy.

What's so disappointing
is not that you want
to be famous,

it's that you don't care
how you get there.

I see that now.

I'm embarrassed I've
been so shortsighted.

I want to make
something of my life.

I want to do something
of substance with it.

And yes, I do want
to go to college.

One step ahead of you,
Lady Ta-Ta.

What is this?

That is an acceptance letter.

You got a full ride

from the University
of Louisville.
It's in Louisville.

It's the nation's top
cheerleading program

and you got a full

Now, I know you don't want
to be a cheerleader

for the rest of your life.

But this will get you
a foot in the door.

Maybe you can get
a business degree;

open up a taco truck.

I'm still somewhat confused
about your ethnicity.

I don't know what to say.

Thank you.

Well, don't thank me.

Brittany thought of it.

She gets an idea once
every couple of years,

and lucky for us
this was a good one.

Thank you.

I don't know if this is
100% the answer for me,

but just to know that
I have somebody

who believes in me
as much as you do.

I love you so much.

I love you, too.

(bell ringing)

Come on, who won, Mr. Shue?
Who gets the suit?

Well, I left that
up to Sue.

And if there's one thing I enjoy

more than punishing
you lazy idiots...

it's rewarding you
for being

slightly less lazy
and idiotic.

Will the winners please enter?

(all cheering, whooping)

Even in polyester,

I feel like a million
bucks in this.

So what now?

What do you want to do?

You know what I want to do?

I said, do you
know what I want to do?!



(Bee Gees'
"Stayin' Alive" playing)

♪ Well, you can tell
by the way I use my walk ♪

♪ I'm a woman's man,
no time to talk ♪

♪ Music loud and women warm ♪

♪ I've been kicked around
since I was born ♪

♪ And now it's all right,
that's okay ♪

♪ And you may look
the other way ♪

♪ But we can try
to understand ♪

♪ The New York Times' effect
on man ♪

♪ Whether you're a brother
or whether you're a mother ♪

♪ You're stayin' alive,
stayin' alive ♪

♪ Feel the city breakin'
and everybody shakin' ♪

♪ And we're stayin' alive,
stayin' alive ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Stayin' alive, stayin' alive ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Stayin' alive... ♪

♪ Oh, when you walk ♪

♪ Well, now I get low
and I get high ♪

♪ And if I can't get either,
I really try ♪

♪ Got the wings
of heaven on my shoes ♪

♪ I'm a dancing man
and I just can't lose ♪

♪ You know it's all right,
it's okay ♪

♪ I'll live
to see another day ♪

♪ We can try to understand ♪

♪ The New York Times'
effect on man ♪

♪ Whether you're a brother
or whether you're a mother ♪

♪ You're stayin' alive,
stayin' alive. ♪

♪ Feel the city breakin'
and everybody shakin' ♪

♪ And we're stayin' alive,
stayin' alive ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Stayin' alive, stayin' alive ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Stayin' alive... ♪

♪ Ah... ow! ♪

♪ Life going nowhere ♪

♪ Somebody help me ♪

♪ Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba ♪

♪ Somebody help me, yeah ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah,
yeah-yeah ♪

♪ Life going nowhere ♪

♪ Somebody help me, yeah ♪

♪ I'm stayin' alive... ♪