Glee (2009–2015): Season 3, Episode 13 - Heart - full transcript

In honor of Valentine's Day, Will challenges the Glee Club to find and perform the world's greatest love songs.


Okay, everybody,
let's hear it for love!

Your assignment
for Valentine's week

is to find and perform
the world's greatest love songs.

Now, Regionals
is next week,

and we still need to raise

$250 for costumes
and hair spray.

Oh, God, not another bake sale.

If any student gives

ten dollars, we will sing these

"world's greatest love songs"
to their Valentine.

We will serenade
each classroom...

- No!
- Yes!

Two years ago, we went
room-to-room Christmas caroling,

they threw food.

And shoes.
Yes, Sugar?

Here's a spoonful of Sugar
for you all:

Don't sweat the small stuff,

and it's all small stuff
when you're rich.

So, here you go.

Uh, Sugar,
I can't take that.

Take it!


Everyone, give it up
for Sugar for paying for

our FinalNet
and cumberbunds!

I love
the sound of applause,

even if I have to buy it.

Okay, everyone, look
under your chairs.

Except you, Artie.

Your chair kept moving, so I hid

your surprise
in the wastebasket.

I found mine ten minutes ago.

V-Day is my
fave day ever.

And to help me
celebrate, my daddy's

throwing me a huge, ridic party
at Breadstix.

And I'm naming it

the Sugar Shack.

And... drumroll, Rachel...

... you're all invited!

But you have to bring a date.

No single people allowed.

They're sad and boring and
they don't exist in my world.

Um, but you're single.

Not for long.

Wait, what are
you doing here?

I got a note that says "Come to
the auditorium now. It's urgent."

Love, Mandy Patinkin."
Yeah, so did I.

* Going to the chapel

* And we're gonna
get married *

Oh, God.

Is that your dads?

* Going to the chapel

* And we're gonna
get married... *

LeRoy, LeRoy.

Thanks, guys.
Thank you, thank you.

LeRoy, we agreed
to sing it straight...

no vocal runs.

That's how Jennifer Hudson
got kicked off of American Idol.

I would love to hear you
sing something straight.

Dads, what are
you doing here?

Well, a little birdie named
Burt, who owns a tire store,

and his little birdie wife,

who used to wear a lot of denim,
told us

that you guys were, uh,
fixin' to get hitched.

So we thought we'd
return the favor

and surprise you.

Mr. and Mr. Berry,

I am so sorry.

It's only customary to ask

the bride's father
first, but...

We wanted to say...


And what better place
than on the very stage

on which you shared
your first kiss?

So you're not angry?

Not at you.

I'm angry 'cause
evidently your father

has been having
recurring dreams

about Hollywood heartthrob
Tony Danza.

One dream.
I had one dream

that Tony Danza and I
went ice fishing, okay?

We know you two
really love each other.

And if you're
really sure

you want to spend
the rest of

your lives together,
the last thing

we want to do
is stand in your way.

No, we wouldn't do that.

I mean, marrying
in your teens usually,

you know, doubles the likelihood
of divorce...

a fate that befell
Liza and Barbra...

Are you really going to do this
right now?

Oh, why, you know who else
got, uh, just got divorced?

Tony Danza!
Yeah, did you hear that, LeRoy?

Oh! Yeah, he's single now.

Why don't you fire
up those snowmobiles

and give him a call?

It's ice fishing season.

What your dad
is trying to say

is that he's very excited

to start planning
his only daughter's wedding.

I'm so excited, yeah.

But, uh, we are using
the square tables.

Well, we want to start

with a Valentine's Day dinner
at our house

with the Hudson-Hummels.

We're going to be
one big family, so...

let's make a milestone
out of it.

You were raised to be proud

of the decisions that you make.

And if this is what
you really want, sweetie,

well, then you need to start
shouting it from the rooftops!

* Yeah!

I love you both so much.

Ah, yeah.

I now call this meeting
of the God Squad to order.

Thank you guys
for coming.

Our first order
of business is

to welcome Quinn Fabray back
into the fold.

It's nice to
see you, Quinn.

Thank you.
I know it's been a while.

When I was at my lowest,

I turned to prayer.

Not even sure who I was
praying to, really,

but it seemed to lead me
on the right track.


Can I ask a question?

What's with tarantula head
over here?

This is our new member.

This is Joseph Hart,
but you guys can call him Joe.

He just transferred
here to McKinley.

Yeah, I guess I'm a sophomore.
I've been homeschooled

my whole life,
but this past year I realized

my best friend
was my mom,

so I decided I wanted to get out

and experience the world.


What's with the tats?
Bible quotes.

And each one of my dreads is
named after a book of the Bible.

You have got to be kidding me.

I play guitar, too,
but I only know Christian stuff.

My dad only listens to talk
radio, and we don't have a TV.

You guys mind
if I take off my shoes?

I'm sort of used to
going to school barefoot.

I'm just glad there's another
dude around here.

I notice that Shane

isn't a member of the God Squad.

- That's interesting.
- Okay, that's enough, Sam.

All right, so
our last meeting

we talked about opportunities

for community service.

Uh, Valentine's Day's
right around the corner,

and since the Glee Club
turned it down,

there's an open slot
for singing telegrams.

All four of us sing,

and Teen Jesus
and I play guitar,

so I thought we could
use the money to

adopt a highway
and start a shoe drive.


It is a religious holiday...
St. Valentine's and all that.

And I'd love to show this school
that it's cool to be Christian.

We aren't all
just door-to-door

Bible salesmen, like my dad.

All right, all in favor?


Wait, which one are you gonna
take to Sugar's V-Day party?

All of them.

The entire sorority?

They don't call them
the "E-Z-Dee-Zees" for nothing.

I got the gig cleaning the
sorority house swimming pool,

then I sawed through
those chicks

like a freakin'
sex tornado...

room to room.
You're amazing.

I'm a professional.

Tried the true love thing...

With a teacher.

- Wasn't for me.
- Well, it is for me.

And apparently it's
for Blaine, too.

even from his sick
bed, he's managed to send me

a new Valentine's Day card
every single day this week.

It says
"From your secret admirer."

So romantic.



A gorilla gram?

Pour moi?

"To Kurt.

From your secret admirer."


Well, I wonder
who it could be.

Will you tell me who it is,
Valentine gorilla?

You see, Puckerman, that's
what you're missing out on:

True love.

What about you, Rory?

Who are you taking
to Sugar's party?


Hold up.

You better have an option "B"
because I'm all over that.

You're going with Sugar?

As soon as I ask her out,

and she says yes,
which I'm sure she will

because... I don't mean this
to sound mean, Irish...

but nobody understands
anything you say.

Chicks dig accents.

I'm sorry, what was that?
Couldn't quite make it out.

Fellas, there's
no need to fight.

You can just pick up the girls

that fall off
old Puckerosaurus here.

This is a four-leaf clover, kid.

'Cause you're going to need

all the luck you can get.

Do you people
just carry those around?

Let's Road House, Flanagan.

* L is for the way
you look at me *

* O is for the only one I see

* V is very,
very extraordinary *

* E is even more than
anyone that you adore *

* And love is all
that I can give to you *

* Love is more than
just a game for two *

* Two in love can make it

* Take my heart
and please don't break it *

* Love was made for me and you

* L is for the way
you look at me *

* O is for the only one I see

* V is very,
very extraordinary *

* E is even more than
anyone that you adore *

* And love is all
that I can give to you *

* Love is more than
just a game for two *

* Two in love can make it

* Take my heart
and please don't break it *

* Love was made for me and you

* Love was made
for me and you... *

* Love.

Happy Valentine's Day.

You're giving me your
computer for Valentine's Day?

It's a playlist.

With all the songs
that I hear in my head

when I'm with you
or when I'm thinking about you.

I wanted to make you a CD
for Valentine's Day,

but this is as far
as I got without any help, so...

Oh, and I made you a cover.


Thank you.

You're welcome.

Teen lesbians!

I must see you

in my office, right now.

This is such bull crap!

Why can't Brittany and I
kiss in public?

'Cause we're two girls?

Please don't make this about

your sapphic orientation.

This is about
public displays of affection.

PDA simply has no place

in the sacred halls
of McKinley High.

We've had complaints.

About us? When?

Most recently...

yesterday, 12:16 p.m.


Our lips barely
even grazed.

And by the way, did you get
any complaints about

that hideous display
that started at 12:17 p.m.

and lasted for several
uncomfortable minutes?

Believe me, I'd much rather
see you and Santana kiss

than that so-called Finchel,

but if a student
files a complaint

- because, for religious reasons...
- Oh. Great.

So it was some Bible-thumper
that complained.

Ms. Lopez, I'm sorry,
but I'm trying

to keep this school from turning
into a volatile powder keg.

I'm sorry, too.

'Cause all I want to be able
to do is kiss my girlfriend,

but I guess no one can see that
because there's such

an insane double standard
at this school.

Artie, four wheels
on the floor, please.

Rachel, you had an announcement?

Yeah, actually, Finn and
I have an announcement

we'd like to make.

Finn and I are
proud to announce...

that we're finally
getting married.


When's the baby's due date?

Wait, guys, have you both
carefully thought this through?

Yes. And our parents
are totally behind us.

And your plan to stop us
by telling them

totally backfired, Mr. Shue.

Actually, I'm the one
who told them.

Because I think you guys
are making a mistake.

A huge mistake.

- When's the wedding?
- The date is TBD,

but I can assure
all of you that

we're gonna have a very simple
and elegant ceremony

at the Justice of the Peace,

which all of you
are invited to.

And we're registered
at Samuel French.

You guys aren't mature enough

or old enough to properly

face this type
of commitment.

If you don't support us,
then I feel sorry for you,

and you're not invited
to the wedding.

Which makes me really sad,
because I would have loved

to have seen you in
a bridesmaid's dress, Quinn.

And you as well, Kurt.

I'd be happy
to be a bridesmaid, Rachel.

I'm not sure I'm ready
to get married,

but I do know what being
in love feels like.

- We'll be there.
- Thanks, guys.

And we hope the rest of
you all change your minds,

because it would mean a lot
to us if you were all there.

Well, add me to the list
of people who are wishing

you guys the best
in your marriage.

However, let's stop
the fighting

and remind ourselves that

Valentine's Day
is rapidly approaching.

So if you'll
excuse me.

- If you'll excuse me.
- Yeah. Sorry.

Congrats, though.

I got some sugary sweet
game to spit.

Give me a beat, Finn.

* Mm

* Yeah, yeah

* Mm, mm

* Yeah, yeah...

* Baby, I just don't get it

* Do you enjoy being hurt?

* I know you smelled
the perfume *

* The make-up on his shirt

* You don't believe
his stories *

* You know that they're
all lies *

* Mad as you are,
you stick around *

* And I just don't know why

* If I was your man *

* Baby, you

- * Never worry 'bout *
- * What I do

- * I'd be coming home
- * Back to you

- * Every night
- * Doin' you right

- * You're the type of woman *
- * Deserve good things

- * Fist full of diamonds *
- * A hand full of rings

* Baby, you're a star *

* I just want to show you
you are *

* You should let me love you

* Let me be the one to

* Give you everything
you want and need *

* Baby,
good love and protection *

* Make me your selection

* Show you the way love's
supposed to be *

* Baby, you should let me

* You deserve better *

* Whoa, oh,
you know you deserve better *

* We should be together *

* Baby

* With me and you,
it's whatever, girl *

* Hey, so can we make
this thing ours? *

* You should let me love you

* Let me be the one *

* Let me be the one to give

* To give you everything you
want and need *

* Everything you need

* Baby, good love
and protection *

* Said everything

* Make me your selection *

* Show you the way
love's supposed to be *

* Yeah, let me love you.

That's all you need, baby.

Wheel me to class, baby.

I didn't speak up in class,
but I wanted to say

that I'm 100% behind you.

I fully support your right
to be unhappy with Finn

for the rest of your lives.

You should be able
to love whoever you want.

Excuse me.
Are you Miss Rachel Berry?

Um, yeah.

Well, we're the God Squad,

and we're here to deliver

a Vocal Valentine
from one Finn Hudson.

* My heart's a stereo

* It beats for you,
so listen close *

* Hear my thoughts
in every note *

* Oh, ote

* Make me your radio
* Yeah

* And turn me up
when you feel low *

Sorry about the little bit.

* This melody
was meant for you *

* So sing along to my stereo

* If I was just another dusty
record on a shelf *

* Would you blow me off and
play me like everybody else? *

* If I asked you to scratch my
back, could you manage that? *

* Yeyeah, chicka Travie,
I can handle that *

* Furthermore, I apologize
for any skippin' track *

* It's just the last girl that
played me left a couple cracks *

* I used to used to, used to,
used to, now I'm over that *

* 'Cause holding grudges over
love is ancient artifact *

* If I could only find a note to
make you understand *

* I'd think of something real
and grab you by the hand *

* Just keep it stuck inside your
head like your favorite tune *

* And know my heart's a stereo
that only plays for you *

* Oh, oh... oh, oh

* My heart's a stereo, it beats
for you, so listen close *

* Hear my thoughts
in every note *

* Yeah, yeah, yeah,
come on *

* Make me your radio, and turn
me up when you feel low *

* This melody
was meant for you *

* So sing along to my stereo

* Oh... yeah... *

* Oh... *

* To my stereo

* Oh, oh... *

* So sing along to my stereo

* I only pray you'll
never leave me behind *

* Never leave me

* Because good music
can be so hard to find *

* So hard to find

* I take your hand and
hold it closer to mine *

* Thought love was dead, but now
you're changing my mind *

* My heart's a stereo, it beats
for you, so listen close *

* Hear my thoughts
in every note *

* You're gonna make me
a radio *

* Make me your radio, and turn
me up when you feel low *

* This melody
was meant for you *

* So sing along to my stereo.


Happy Valentine's Day.

Love, Finn.

That was so sweet.

- So you guys are a Christian group?
- Yes.

And if I pay,

I can send a Vocal Valentine

to anybody I want, right?

Ten bucks.
That's the deal.

Well, awesome.

In that case,
I would like to send one

to my girlfriend Brittany.

And by that, I don't mean
my friend who's a girl.

I mean
my girlfriend girlfriend.

How does that sound?

Look what I just found
in my locker!

"Bee Mine Forever,
from your Secret Honey."

I swear, that Blaine
is such a romantic.


Finn, Rachel,
come on, that's enough.

Everyone, sit down,
uh, listen up.

Rory has the floor.

I've been trying to get
my student visa extended,

so I can spend
junior year at McKinley,

but I just found out the request
was turned down.

So when the school year ends,
I'll have to go back to Ireland.


I miss my family so much,

but you guys have become
my second family.

This song reminds me
of you guys and...

how much I've
grown to love

each and every
single one of you,

and how thankful I am
that you've made a place,

3,000 miles
away from Ireland,

feel like home.

* Another summer day
has come and gone away *

* In Paris and Rome

* But I wanna go home

* Mm, home

* Maybe surrounded by
a million people I *

* Still feel all alone

* Just wanna go home

* Oh, I miss you, you know

* And I've been keeping
all the letters *

* That I wrote to you

* Each one a line or two

* "I'm fine, baby,
how are you?" *

* Well, I would send them

* But I know
that it's just not enough *

* My words were cold and flat

* And you deserve
more than that *

* Another airplane,
another sunny place *

* I'm lucky, I know

* But I wanna go home

* Mm, I've got to go home

* Let me go home

* I've had my run,
and, baby, I'm done *

* I gotta go home

* Let me go home

* It'll all be all right

* I'll be home tonight

* I'm coming back home.


I feel worse for you
than I do for Artie.

Will you be my date
for Valentine's Day?

It would be an honor.

All right, guys.

We have to have a discussion

and figure out
what the God Squad feels

about singing to gay people.

Well, three of us
are in Glee Club,

so we're pretty much sing
to gay people all the time.

I know we're okay with it,
but Joe may not be.

I try my best not
to judge anybody.

But, honestly, I've never met
anyone who's gay.

Oh, I guarantee you have.

Yeah, they say that one out of
every ten people are gay.

And if that's true, that means
one of the 12 apostles

might have been gay.

And my guess is Simon because
that name's the gayest.

The Bible says it's

an abomination for a man
to lay down with another man,

but we shared tents
in Cub Scouts

and slept next
to each other all the time...

so that would make
Cub Scouts an abomination?

Do you know what else the Bible
says is an abomination?

Eating lobster,

planting different crops
in the same field,

giving somebody a proud look.

Not an abomination? Slavery.

Jesus never said
anything about gay people.

That's a fact.

Well, maybe he wanted to,

but he didn't want
to hurt Simon's feelings.

You guys, we have to figure out
where we stand.

Especially, if we're gonna be
asking volunteers

from my church
to sing backup for us.

I don't want
to hurt Santana's feelings,

but I also don't
want to make someone

do something they're not
comfortable with.

So where do you stand, Joe?

I guess I've gotta
think about it.

You know what?
That's totally fair.

You have to look at
the hard topics and dilemmas

and be honest and truthful.

If you ask me...

that's what being
Christian is really about.

I know it's early, but...

It's a statue
of St. Valentine.

Well, actually,
it's a statue

of one
of the three wise men

I repainted to look
like Saint...

I told Shane about us.


Was he mad?
He was sad.

He cried and said it felt like
I punched him in his heart.

I saw this MMA guy get
punched in the heart once.

He died for, like, a minute.

That sucks.

At least it means we can be
together for real now.


What we did... what I
did to Shane was wrong.

I lied, I cheated,

and it makes me feel awful,

and I love you, but being with
you just reminds me of that...

that I'm not the person
that I thought I was.

We would never do that
to each other.

I thought that I'd
never do that to Shane.

But I have to face
the truth.

When it comes to love,
I don't know who I am,

and until I find out,
I can't be with anyone.

I-I can't be with you.

* If I

* Should stay

* I would only be in

* Your way

* So I'll go

* But I know

* I'll think of you

* Every step of

* The way...

* And I...

* Will always love you

* I...

* Will always love you...

* You, you

* You

* My darling, you

* Bittersweet

* Memories

* That is all I'm taking

* With me

* So good-bye

* Please don't cry

* We both know
I'm not what you *

* You need

* And I...

* Will always love you

* I...

* Will always

* Love you...

* You

* I hope

* Life treats you kind

* And I hope

* You have
all you've dreamed of *

* And I wish to you joy

* And happiness

* But above all this,
I wish you *

* Love

* And I...

* Will always love you

* I will always

* Love you

* I will always

* Love you

* I will always

* Love you...

* I, I will always

* Love you...

* I, I will always

* Love...

* You...

* You

* Darling, I love you

* Oh, I'll always

* I'll always

* Love you.

* You're the top

* You're an Arrow collar

* You're the top

* You're a
Coolidge dollar *

* You're the nimble tread of
the feet of Fred Astaire *

* You're an O'Neill drama

* You're Whistler's mama

* You're Camembert!

How come we
never do this?

* You're Inferno's Dante *

* You're the nose

* On the great Durante

* I'm just in the way

* As the French would say,
de trop *

* But if, baby, I'm the bottom

* But if, baby,
I'm the bottom *

* But if, baby, I'm the bottom,
you're the top. *

Rachel Berry.

Thank you, thank you.

Thank you so much
for joining us

in our nightly tradition
of turning

just plain old dinner
into dinner theater.

And now dinner is served.

This way.

Smells great.

- That was good.
- Yeah, thank you.

See, I have a couple of notes.

I said, "LeRoy,
this guy sold us"

the wrong lube."

"That's why
the rubber is squeaking.

"That's why it feels
so weird

when we start going
really fast."

Excuse me, Hiram, what
are we talking about?

We're talking cars.

Yeah, those clowns

down at Local Lube...
they don't know

how to lube a car.

Hiram, the duck
was divine

and the house is exquisite.

Thank you, sweetie.

Nate Berkus...
a dear, dear friend.

That's not true.

Yeah, no, it's not, no, no,
no, not true, but it feels

like he is, I love his designs

so much.

Everything is, you know,
Nate, Nate Berkus.

So, Mr. Berrys,
how did you two meet?


Hey, that's a,

th-th-that's a funny story.

We were both in the international
supergroup Up with People.

Up with People was a sensation.

Glenn Close, you know, she got
her start on Up with People.

Yeah, and we've been together
ever since, which was, uh,

in our late 20s, early 30s
when we got together.

Uh, and on that note,

may I make a toast

to Rachel and Finn on this
very special Valentine's Day?

Finn, you're a

fantastic... husky

young man whom LeRoy
and I simply adore,

and it gives us

such joy to see you make

our little
Rachelah so happy.

Let me tell you the secret of
a long and happy marriage...

never go to bed
without moisturizing.

Bet you thought
I was going

to say "Never go
to bed angry."

Okay, let's get
back on track here.

A toast to the...

Hudson-Hummel-Berry clan.

And to Finn and Rachel.

We love you both
so very, very much.

We sure do.

To Finn and Rachel.
Finn and Rachel. Indeed.



Now dessert.

Oh, you know what we've got?

Velvety Viennetta,

and then we're going to commence
with the teenage lovemaking.

No, just kidding.


We, we don't have Viennetta.

They discontinued
Viennetta years ago.

We're gonna go straight
to the teenage lovemaking.

I'm sorry, what?

Wait, w-what are
you talking about?

Your mom packed a bag.

I brought your toothbrush
and your jammies...

- your sleepy T-shirt and, and boxers.
- Mom. No, I did, yeah.

You're getting married,
you're not kids anymore.

As far as we're concerned,
you're adults,

so knock yourself out. Carole
and I are gonna go catch a movie.

Hiram and I are going
to stay here,

but we'll put on some music

just so you don't think
we're trying to listen in.

I can't believe
this is happening.

I love you.

Let's go to bed.


I know it's tempting,

but, uh,
no monkey business tonight,

not with my dads
around the corner.

Of course.

Are you, you gonna use
the bathroom first?

Yes, if that's okay because
my ritual is pretty elaborate.


First I shower.

I'm more thorough
than during my morning bath.

The world is
a very dirty place.

Brush teeth, eyebrows,
makeup remover, moisturizer,

followed by an ice water
face bath

à la Joan Crawford
in Mommie Dearest...

the height of glamour.

Find something cute to wear.

Text my dads to let them know

I'm almost ready
for my evening tea...

well, we'll skip
that one tonight.

Then condition
and brush my hair.


Hey, I-I kind of need to use the
bathroom; it was a really big meal.

No, you can't do that here.

Where am I supposed to do it?

Um, at your house?

Hilarious... I'm just
gonna jump in beside you.

I don't mind if you stay.

Oh, for God's sakes, Finn.

Can't you at least try to keep
some sort of mystery

until we're married?

What do you think it's gonna
be like in New York?

We'll be on opposite
schedules, so, you know,

you can use the bathroom
while I'm at school

and I'll use it when you're
at... when you're working

or what-whatever.

What's that supposed
to mean?

You don't think I'm gonna be
doing anything in New York?

You think I'm just gonna be
around to bring you Diet Cokes

and cheer you on?

I knew it.

I knew one day
you'd be intimidated

by my success,
but I didn't think

it would be before we graduated.

Where are you going?

The bathroom downstairs.

I can guarantee one thing
you're not gonna have to add

to your little crazy-town
nighttime ritual...

getting into
bed with me.

FYI, we got a private
party here tonight, hon.

Oh, I know, I know,
I'm, I'm early.

Well, according to
this, I'm, I'm early.

I'm supposed to be
meeting my cutie here

for a long overdue

but I, uh, I guess
he didn't make it.

Wouldn't be too sure
about that.

I knew it!

Oh, See's candies!

"Dear Kurt,
Happy Valentine's Day.

I think I love you."

Wait. You think you love me?


So, you tormented me,
shoved me into lockers,

called me horrible names and

hate-kissed me.

Now, after one conversation

in a bar, you want us
to be together?

When I was at McKinley,
I hated who I was.

I took that out
on you because...

there you were, so proud.

I've wanted to call you since
that night at Scandals, and,

look, it's taken me a while,

but for the first time
in my life,

I'm trying to be honest
about what I feel.

And I'm flattered,
I... I-I really am, but

David, you just think
that you love me.

You don't really love me.

Oh, you've helped me so much,
Kurt, you don't know.

I haven't come out
at school yet,

but maybe I will next year.

David, look,

I am so proud of you for...
for coming so far.

And I want you
to be happy and...

and you will be happy,

but I'm with Blaine.

A-And... I like you.

But just as friends.

I should go.

Now, you don't have to go.

I hope you like the candies.

The butterscotch ones
are my favorite.

Mine, too.

Hey, Karofsky.

You guys hanging out
for Valentine's Day?

No. No.

No, no. We-We used
to go to the same school.

We just bumped
into each other.

- That's exactly what it looked like.
- I gotta go.

I'll talk to you later.

I'm really glad we
kissed and made up.

I mean, it is Valentine's
Day, after all.


This whole living
together thing

and being right on
top of one another...

it's definitely a lot more
challenging than I thought.

It's like real
life and stuff.

I know.

I have to be honest.

I was a little...

afraid of what it would be like
for us to really be married.

I don't know.

I think we can
do it, right?

I think we can.




Except for one thing.

It's 7:15.
No way.


You want to go to Breadstix?

I was hoping you'd say that.

Let's go.

I like

Carole after three

Shh. Listen, listen.

Shh. Listen.


They're not fighting anymore.

It's not working.

What, is he defiling
our baby?

- Do you need a Xanax?
- I already took three.

This is a stupid plan.
We've never

lied to her
like this before.

Honesty, respect, dance...

those are the foundations
of the Berry family.

These are desperate times.

Every teenager does

the exact opposite
of what their parents tell them.

I don't know where she got
this idea of marriage anyway,

but she's not going
to go through with it.

She is a little girl
with big dreams...

It's too bad. I like Finn.

Nobody is saying that
they have to break up.

They're just too
young to get married.

As long as we continue
to do what we're doing...

lying about supporting it
utterly and completely...

she'll come around, and
she'll see it our way.

It's reverse psychology.

- It's the only way.
- Hey.

We're gonna go
go Breadstix.

We decided that we want to just
be with our friends tonight.

And then I'm probably
just gonna go home after.


Yeah, we thought we heard
you guys squabbling up there.

Cohabitating is
not-not-not so easy, huh?

I hope this
little experiment

doesn't cause you to postpone
the marriage for a few months?

- Right, or years.
- Don't do that.

Actually, it's the opposite.

We just decided
that, you know,

since it's gonna take us
a little while to get used

to one another, that we might
as well just, you know,

get started.

We're getting
married in May!

Right-Right after Nationals!

It's gonna be a
spring wedding.

I'll talk to you guys more about
it when I get home tonight.

I'm so excited.

- And I love you both very much.
- Love you

so much.

Okay, well, I'll be
back in a little while.


Testing. Testing. Testing.


What up, McKinley?!

Welcome to the Sugar Shack!


Everyone look under your
chairs, except you, Artie.

Yours is in the potted plant
right behind you.

Attached to a Hickory Hills

Cheese Heart are
gift certificates

worth $200 each for

Bed, Bath and Beyond,

Panda Express,

and Lima Mall

Swatch Watch kiosk!

I would like to thank my daddy
for making tonight possible.

He is not in the Mafia.

And next up,
straight from heaven above,

give it up for the God Squad!

Hi. My name's Joe.
Santana Lopez asked me

if the God Squad
would sing a love song

for Brittany S. Pierce.

And after thinking
and praying about it,

I knew there was only one
right answer.


Love is love, man.

So, here's for Brittany
from Santana.

* Cherish is the word
I use to describe *

* All the feeling that I have
hiding here for you inside *

* You don't know how many times
I wish that I had told you *

* Cherish *

* You don't know
how many times *

* I wish that I could hold you
* Cherish *

* You don't how many times
I wish that I could *

* Mold you into someone
* Ooh, ooh, ooh *

* Who could cherish
the thought... *

I'm gonna miss you so much.


When you get deported, silly.

Let's... don't worry
about that now.

Let's just think
about tonight.

* Can't get away,
I won't let you *

* Oh-oh, oh

* You *
* I could never forget you...

Maybe my dad can buy Ireland!

* Cherish is the word
I use to remind me of *

* Your love...

* You don't know
how many times *

* I wish that I had told you
* Cherish *

* You don't know how many times
I wish that I could hold you *

* Cherish *

* Yeah *
* You don't how many times I wish *

* That I could mold you into someone *
* Ooh, ooh, ooh *

* Who could cherish me
as much as I cherish you *

* Cherish the thought

* Ooh, ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. *



Okay, everyone, it's time
for my extra-special guest,

back from the dead,
and cute and compact as ever!

Happy Valentine's Day,

This song is dedicated
to all the lovers in the room.

* If you see a faded sign
at the side of the road *

* That says 15 miles
to the... *

* Love Shack!

* Love Shack, yeah, yeah

* I'm headin' down
the Atlanta highway *

* Lookin'
for the love getaway *

* Heading
for the love getaway *

* I got me a car

* It's as big as a whale
* Love getaway *

* And we're headin' on
down to the Love Shack *

* Love getaway *

* I got me a Chrysler

* It seats about 20, so
* Love getaway *

* Hurry up and bring
your jukebox money *

* The Love Shack is
a little old place where *

* We can get together

* Love Shack, baby

* Love Shack, baby

* Love Shack, that's where
it's at *

* Love Shack,
that's where it's at *

* Hop in my Chrysler,
it's as big as a whale *

* And it's about to set sail

* I got me a car,
it seats about 20 *

* So, come on and bring
your jukebox money *

* The love shack *
* The love shack is a little old place *

* Little old place *
* Where we can get together

* Love shack, baby

* A love shack, baby

* Oh, love shack,
love shack *

* Oh *
* Love shack

* Love shack *
* Love, baby, that's where it's at *

* Bang, bang, bang
on the door, baby *

Knock a little louder, Sugar!

* Bang, bang, bang
on the door, baby! *

I can't hear you!

* Bang, bang

On the door, baby.

* Bang, bang

Your what?!

Tin... roof... rusted!

* Love Shack, yeah
* Love shack, love shack *

* Love shack
* Love, baby

* That's where it's at, yeah

* Love, baby

* Love shack
* That's where it's at *

* Huggin' and a kissin'...