Glee (2009–2015): Season 2, Episode 9 - Special Education - full transcript

To prepare for sectionals, Will wants the spotlight on the team, so, to Rachel's dismay, she has no solo. Meanwhile, Kurt is brimming with ideas that don't fit the eight-part, no-standout harmonies of his new school. Behind the scenes, Puck must find a replacement for Kurt or they're one-short of eligibility, Will is losing Emma, Tina and Artie suspect Mike and Brittany of surreptitious romance, and Santana spikes Rachel and Finn's relationship with a revelation. Can the club overcome divisions and jealousies to win sectionals?

House seats to sectionals.

Those things are hard to come by.

Scalpers are getting, like,
five bucks for them.

I however, as coach of one of
the competing teams, get two,

and I would be honored if
you would be my plus one.

I mean, you being at sectionals

is... Is kind of a good
luck charm for us.

I would love to.

I mean, not that we're
gonna need any talismans.

I have a killer set list planned.

- First...
- No, let me guess.

Finn and Rachel are gonna
do a ballad, right?

Followed by the kids joining in

with a classic rock number
where Mercedes will belt out

the last jaw-dropping note.

Have you been going
through my desk?

It's what you always do.

Every team tries to showcase
their strongest players.

Look, just seeing your kids
do the Rocky Horror thing

really reminded me of how much
talent you've got in Glee Club.

Quinn has a beautiful voice,

and Mike Chang has dance
moves that are to die for.

Look, I'm sure that you know

what you're doing.
I'm not saying that.

Everyone has picked you as
favorites for sectionals,

you won your sectional last year.

It's just, I don't know, you
guys used to be the underdogs.

Now you're a real team,
which is wonderful.

You're a constellation of stars.

I would just hate to think

that you might be
ignoring some of them

because they don't burn
quite as obviously bright.

I've said too much.


You said just enough.

Mr. Schuester,
I have an announcement.

I've selected the
perfect moving ballad

for Finn and I to sing to launch
our performance at sectionals.

Me first.
Two things:

First, our competition
at sectionals

are your classic stool choirs.

we need to do what
they can't: Dance.

Which is why I've
decided to feature

Brittany and Mike Chang's sweet
moves in our performance.

Wait, they're gonna dance in
front of me while I sing my solo?

You're not getting a solo for
this competition, Rachel.

So what song do I get to sing?

I was thinking that the winners of
our duets competitions would take the leads.

Ken and Barbie?

A... Are you trying to throw this?

You used to be just sort
of unlikable, but now

I pretty much feel
like punching you

every time you open your mouth.

Okay, listen,
I have talked the talk

about everyone in here feeling
special for over a year now,

but, frankly,
I haven't walked the walk.

I mean, we have got a
lot of talent here,

and I'm gonna highlight it.

Do something!

Look, I'm all for
pumping up the team,

making everyone feel special,
but that's for practice.

You don't take the
star quarterback out

- before the big game.
- Yep.

Easy to say when you're
the star quarterback.

This isn't just about me,
this is about the team.

You are such a hypocrite.

Like you even know
what that means.

It means that your boyfriend
is full of crap, hobbit.

You know what,
ever since the wedding,

you've been up my butt,
and I'm sick of it!

Come on, Rachel,
she's not worth it.

Oh, really?

'Cause that's not what you thought
last year in that motel room.

That's right, Yentl,

your sweetheart...
He's been lying to you.

'Cause he and I totally
got it on last year.

Okay, enough already.

No more conversations about this,
or... Or anything.

This is our plan for sectionals,

and that is that.

Mike, Brittany, come on up,
let's start choreographing.

And now let's welcome the
newest addition to The Warblers,

Kurt Hummel.

And our oldest tradition
for our newest Warbler,

an actual warbler.

Kurt, meet Pavarotti.

This bird is a member of an
unbroken line of canaries

who have been at
Dalton since 1891.

It's your job to take care of him

so he can live to carry
on the Warbler legacy.

Protect him.

That bird is your voice.

Hey, I'll bring him
to work with me.

Weekends I volunteer
at a stray cat rescue.

It's at the bottom of a coal mine.

That was a joke.

I... I don't...
I don't work at a coal mine.

Let the council come to order.

Today we discuss the set
list for sectionals.


We don't have a director.

Every year, we elect three
upperclassmen to lead the group.

But don't worry, we all get a say.

Oh, fantastic.

I have a lot of ideas.

Warblers, if I may?

Now, I can't deny that the Warblers'
vocals are absolutely dreamy.

But I believe our
set for sectionals

this year should have a
little more showbiz panache.

I think we should open with
"Rio" by Duran Duran.

Uh, the council is responsible
for song selection.

But we appreciate
your enthusiasm, Kurt.

It'll come in handy one day

when you're sitting
behind this desk.

Now, I propose we do our
entire set at sectionals

in eight-part harmony.

Just tell me if it's true.

I'm sorry.

Okay? I shouldn't
have lied to you.

I just thought that if
I told you the truth,

you'd get so mad at me,
and you're kind of scary.

Don't you see how it's
ten times worse now?

Why her?

I mean, Quinn I'd understand,
but her?

Do you think she's
prettier than me?

Don't answer that.

My dads went to couples
counseling because one of them

put up wallpaper in the den
without asking the other,

and they said it was the
only thing that kept them

from killing each other.

- Okay.
- We need your help.

Uh, that's why I set up
this counseling session.

You're both in Glee.

Why don't you sing about it?

Right? Aren't there
some great songs

about betrayal or something?

I'm pretty sure there's
some Eagles songs.

Right, let's do plan B.

We'll start with you, Finn.

Why did you lie to Rachel?

I didn't want to hurt her.

Then why did you do it with her?

Why are you so caught up with
who it was? It doesn't...

Was it because she's hot?

Yeah, sure, she's super hot,

but, um, that's...

As a therapist,

is it productive for me
to slap him right now?

Well, I'm not a therapist, but no.

Um, maybe you should storm out.


Is there anything else
you want to talk about?

What are you doing?
We've been looking for you all day.

I'm paralyzed with fear.

I've been here since
second period.

I really, really have to pee.

What are you afraid of?

You're gonna be
featured at sectionals.

You should be happy.

I can't handle the pressure.

I know I'm more talented
than all of you...

Britney Spears taught me that.

It's just, I can't have whether
we win or lose on my shoulders.

- B... But we all know you can do it.
- And I know that I can't.

Just like I know the
cricket that reads to me

at night is totally
stealing my jewelry.

It's really too bad I...

I can't give you my magic comb.

What's a magic comb?

You've never heard
of a magic comb?

- Mm-mm.
- You comb your hair with it,

and you can't lose.

I'd give you mine, but I need it.


Since you're going to dance
the lead at sectionals,

you win, I win.

Please, can I have the magic comb?


Artie, thank you so much.

You really are the
best boyfriend ever.

We're gonna win this thing

'cause of you.

All I can say is I didn't
steal that soda machine,

and if I did, I wasn't alone.

Okay, I'm gonna pretend that I
didn't hear that because if I did,

I'd be down to ten
Glee Club members,

which as you probably
remember from the rule book

is two less than what we need
to compete at sectionals.

I'm not big on reading rule books.

Well, I'm not big on reading.

Kurt's gone,
and he's not coming back.

We need a 12th member.

Now, I always go to Rachel
and Finn in these situations,

but you might be the most
well-known kid in this entire school.

There's a method to my madness.

I want you to use that madness
to recruit a new member.

Glee needs you to
be its ambassador.

More like its am-bad-ass-ador.

- But what's in it for me?
- You love the Glee Club.

We get a new member and we win,

you get to keep
doing what you love.

You can count on me, Mr. Shue.

Hey, Kurt, wait up!

I saw that Glee Club
was hard for you today,

seeing your ideas
shot down like that.

It's just a different
energy in there.

Not better or worse,

just something I'll
have to get used to.

We recognize that.

And we have a tradition
at this school

of rewarding a student
with a good attitude.

So, we would like to invite
you to audition for a solo.

For sectionals?

For sectionals.
Sing something good.

All right, listen up.

Are you gonna light your
farts on fire again?

Because I'm a major fan.

I want to talk to you guys.

About Bruce Springsteen.

Is this going somewhere?

Don't push me, Karofsky.

You forced my boy
Kurt out of here,

and juvie or no,
you're already number one

on my list to go
all Death Star on.

Anyways, so Bruce is destined to
go blue collar his whole life,

but instead, he goes and buys
an old Strat from a pawn shop

and just starts wailing on it,

starts putting all the pain and
the promises and the dreams

into that music,
and the next thing he knows,

he's on the cover of Time and
Newsweek in the same week.

Those are magazines.

Not to seem redundant,
but is this going somewhere?

Glee Club, dudes.

It's time to join up.

Sign up for Glee Club?

Why don't you come to
my church on Sunday

and get some of my cousins
to sign up for the Klan?

Glee Club is cool.

Glee Club is most
definitely not cool.

Clearly we need to reinstate
the 10:00 A.M. slushie.

I say we make an example of him.

I say you're right.

Get him! Get him!

Not the face! Not the face!

Where's Puck?
I haven't seen him since yesterday,

and I need him to get me a churro.

My guess is he'd rather quit
Glee Club than lose sectionals,

and I can't blame him.

Our set's gonna be real
light on the Mercedes.

I'm telling you,
if The Warblers win sectionals,

it's only because
we gave them Kurt.

We should not clap.

If we lose,
we should throw possums.

Rachel, what are you doing?

I'm not doing anything.

You've silenced my talents,
I'm merely protesting.

My talents are
wasted in this club.

My star shines too bright,
and I think you're threatened by it.

Take that off!

I'm tired of this, Rachel.

You have a terrible attitude,

you're a lousy sport,
and it is not okay anymore.

Well, I'm upset!

I'm furious about this!

About a couple of things,

Well, I'm sorry
you're disappointed.

But you know, you could also
make the choice to be happy

that we're a part of
a Glee Club that is

bursting at the seams with talent.

There's an awful lot of
"me" talk going around.

"What's in it for me?"

"What solo am I gonna sing?"

Now, when we go to sectionals,
we're gonna be good sports.

We'll cheer on The Hipsters,

we'll cheer on Kurt
and The Warblers.

And if they win,
we will congratulate them.

Because that's who we are.

Dude, where have you been?

I found him in a porta potty.

I was trying to find Kurt's
replacement for sectionals.

I was trapped in that
porta potty for 24 hours.

Buddha, Allah, Satan, help me!

- Are you an angel?
- Screw you.

So I asked her if
she wanted to join.

Here are my conditions:

A carton of Cadbury Eggs.

Good luck finding them.
They're not in season.

And I want seven minutes
in heaven... with you.

I have to say,
she kinda rocked my world.

Okay, guys, um, well,
looks like we're back in business!

Let's all welcome
our newest member,

Ms. Lauren Zizes.

Puck, nice work.

We owe you one.

Did I tell you he
bought me dinner after?

You okay?

Why are you talking to me?

Are you gonna steal
something from me?

Look, after six hours
in that port-o-john,

Ozzy himself would
have turned to God.

I prayed.
I promised him

that if he got me out of there,
I'd start being nicer to people.

Then I realized there was
no way I could do that,

so I changed it to just Jews.

It's Finn.

Boyfriend troubles?
I got that covered.

Considering I'm usually
the cause of them,

I'd say I'm an expert.

Walk with me.

Have you been working out?

Your arms seem bigger.

It's the steroids.

We have a big problem.

Is the problem your outfit?

Because you look like a
cheerleader zombie corpse.

I have no choice.
Mike Chang likes cheerleaders.

You of all people should know.

He's having an
affair with Brittany.

You crazy.

You haven't noticed her
ignoring you lately?

Not really.
It's Shark Week.

They're inseparable.

They're doing a number
together at sectionals.

- They've been rehearsing.
- Really?

Just rehearsing?

Exhibit A. I kissed him,
and it tasted like Lip Smackers.

You know who wears
Lip Smackers? Brittany.

And she doesn't mind sharing.

I love borrowing her Lip Smackers.

It's like candy for your lips.

Don't be naive, Artie.

She's a cheerleader,
he's a football player.

You and I never had a
chance at either of them.

Hey, Rachel.
I've been looking for you.

Don't bother spying
on me to get a leg up,

because the only solos that I'm
getting for sectionals are in my mind.

Actually, I was hoping
you could help me.

I've been sitting in
my car for over an hour

waiting for Karofsky to
make a Mickey D's run.

I've been invited to
audition for a solo.

Why should I help you? I mean,
you're our competition now.

Because even though
we hate each other,

we've had our moments,

and I could use your expertise.

And no one knows how to kill
a ballad quite like you.

You are as brilliant and
talented as you are irritating.

Considering that this
might be my only chance

to sing for a little while,
I'll give you a couple of tips.

So, what did you,
uh, have in mind?

I've settled on Celine Dion's classic,
"My Heart Will Go On."

Oh, no.
No, no, no.

- No?
- Listen, you need something

much more personal than that.

I mean, this is about you.

Do you ever fantasize
about your own funeral?

- No.
- I do.

Finn throwing himself into
the grave out of grief,

and all of the heartfelt
speeches and the regrets.

That's insane.

Clearly no one in the
Glee Club appreciates me.

Is it so wrong for me to fantasize
about them finally realizing

how amazing I am,
but it being too late?

And there's only one song
that expresses those feelings.

I'm sure that it's
in here somewhere.


♪ It won't be easy. ♪

♪ You'll think it strange ♪

♪ when I try to explain how I feel. ♪

♪ That I still need your love ♪

♪ after all that I've done. ♪

♪ You won't believe me. ♪

♪ All you will see is
the girl you once knew, ♪

♪ although she's dressed
up to the nines, ♪

♪ at sixes and sevens with you. ♪

♪ I had to let it happen,
I had to change... ♪

♪ Couldn't stay all
my life down at heel, ♪

♪ looking out of the window, ♪

♪ staying out of the sun. ♪

♪ So I chose freedom. ♪

♪ Running around,
trying everything new. ♪

♪ But nothing impressed me at all. ♪

♪ I never expected it to... ♪

♪ Don't cry for me, Argentina. ♪

♪ The truth is I never left you. ♪

♪ All through my wild days, ♪

♪ my mad existence, ♪

♪ I kept my promise. ♪

♪ Don't keep your distance. ♪

♪ Don't cry for me, Argentina. ♪

♪ The truth is, I never left you. ♪

♪ All through my wild days, ♪

♪ my mad existence, ♪

♪ I kept my promise. ♪

♪ Don't keep your distance. ♪

♪ Have I said too much? ♪

♪ There's nothing more
I can think of to say to you. ♪

♪ But all you have to do ♪

♪ is look at me to know ♪

♪ that every word is true... ♪

So how many times have
you guys auditioned?



Hey, guys.

Nick, Jeff,

- congrats, you're moving on.
- Oh, dude.

Thank you.

- Congratulations.
- Thank you.

Any sage advice?

Don't try so hard next time.

I didn't realize that
caring was frowned upon.

I don't know how it
worked at your old school,

but did you notice that we all
wear uniforms around here?

It's about being part of the team.

I guess I'm just used to having
to scream to get noticed.

You're not going to
make it as a Warbler

if all you care about
is getting noticed.

You're right, I'm sorry.

I know it's going to take
some getting used to,

but you'll fit in soon enough,

I promise.

How's the number for
sectionals coming?

Um, yeah, it's good.

Wait, do you maybe want
to see a movie tonight?

Uh, I can't,
I have rehearsal with Mike.

Well, how about a latte
tomorrow morning?

Artie, I can't, and I can't
talk right now either.

I have to go rehearse.
I'm really, really sorry.

Something wrong?

I'm beginning to think
my new directions

for The New Directions
was a terrible idea.

- Oh, no.
- We're off to sectionals, and I've...

I've never seen the
kids so out of sync.

You look great, though.

Ready to go?

I can't.


I didn't tell Carl I
was going with you.

Ever since Rocky Horror he's
had some issues with you,

you know, with us
spending time together,

and, um, actually,
it was counseling Finn and Rachel

that made me realize that

sometimes the
withholding of the truth

can make someone
feel as bad as lying,

so I told him the truth last night
and we had a big fight.

Then we made up and...
Then he told me that he loved me...

And then I told him
that I love him back.

Well, we're going to
miss our good luck charm.

Mr. Schuester,

not that I really care,
but if we don't leave now,

we're going to miss
the competition.

- Okay.
- Good luck.

Yeah, thanks.

Then go down to
7-Eleven and get some.

- I need Raisinets.
- Carb loading?

Puck got Lauren Zizes
to take your place

and she won't go on unless
she gets her damn candy.

She's a warm body.

Hey, did you, uh, get your solo?

Sadly, no.

Oh, wow, if you didn't get a solo,

then they must be really good.

We are doomed.

Sorry, that was selfish.

What I meant to say was,
"Wow, that... That really sucks.

I'm... I'm sure you
were really good."

I was...
I mean, I think I was.

Being in The Warblers has
really made me question

everything I thought about myself.


What has become of us, Kurt?

So do you miss us?

I do.

Being a Warbler is great,

but I don't think they appreciate
my individuality as much as you guys did,

and I can't help but think
that I let you guys down.

It's your life, Kurt,

and you weren't safe at McKinley
anymore and we all get it.

How come you were
never this nice to me

when I was your teammate?

Because you were my
only real competition.

- Hmm, yeah, true.
- Aw...

So how's Finn?

I feel bad.

I haven't spoken to
him since the wedding.

I haven't really talked
to him much either.

I found out that he and Santana

were romantically involved
and he lied to me about it.

Wait, you didn't know about that?

Kurt, they're calling places.


Thanks again, Rachel.

♪ Every generation ♪

♪ blames the one before, ♪

♪ and all of their frustrations ♪

♪ come beating on your door. ♪

♪ I know that I'm a prisoner ♪

♪ to all my father held so dear. ♪

♪ I know that I'm a hostage ♪

♪ to all his hopes and fears. ♪

♪ I just wish I could
have told him ♪

♪ in the living years. ♪

♪ Say it, say it, say it loud... ♪

♪ Say it loud... ♪

♪ Say it clear... ♪

♪ Say it, say it, say it... ♪

♪ You can listen... ♪
♪ You can listen... ♪

♪ As well as you hear... ♪
♪ As well as you can hear... ♪

♪ Hey, you got to
realize that it's too late. ♪

♪ Come on, come on... ♪
♪ Say it loud... ♪

♪ Say it, say it, say it... ♪
♪ Say it loud... ♪

♪ Say it clear... ♪
♪ Say... ♪

♪ Say it. ♪

And now, for our second
performance of the program,

from Dalton Academy
in Westerville,

The Warblers.

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Tonight... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪
♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪
♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... Hey... Hey... ♪

♪ Your lipstick stains ♪

♪ on the front lobe of
my left-side brain. ♪

♪ I knew I wouldn't forget you, ♪

♪ and so I went
and let you blow my mind. ♪

♪ Let you blow my mind... ♪

♪ Your sweet moonbeam... ♪

♪ The smell of you
in every single dream I dream. ♪

♪ I knew when we collided, ♪

♪ you're the one, I have decided, ♪

♪ who's one of my kind. ♪

♪ One of my kind... ♪

♪ Hey, soul sister, ♪

♪ ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio? ♪

♪ Stereo, the way you move
ain't fair, you know. ♪

♪ Hey, soul sister, ♪

♪ I don't want to miss
a single thing you do. ♪

♪ Oh, tonight. ♪

♪ The way you can cut a rug. ♪

♪ Watching you's the
only drug I need. ♪

♪ So gangsta, I'm so thug. ♪

♪ You're the only one
I'm dreaming of. ♪

♪ You see, I can be
myself now finally. ♪

♪ In fact, there's
nothing I can't be. ♪

♪ Nothing I can't be
I want the world to see. ♪

♪ You'll be with me. ♪

♪ Hey, soul sister... ♪
♪ Ooh... ♪

♪ Ain't that Mr. Mister on the radio? ♪

♪ Stereo, the way you move
ain't fair, you know. ♪

♪ Hey, soul sister, ♪

♪ I don't want to miss
a single thing you do... ♪

♪ Miss a thing... ♪

♪ Tonight. ♪

♪ Hey... ♪
♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪
♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪
♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Tonight... ♪
♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪
♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Hey... ♪
♪ Hey... ♪

♪ Tonight. ♪

These costumes are causing
some unmentionable chafing.

Are you okay?

I'm totally freaking out.

Last time we performed
in front of an audience,

I went into labor.
I think I'm having

post traumatic stress disorder.

FYI, I'm totally
available to fill in.

Nowhere to run.

From me or your lies.

I hope they judge us on
dancing and adultery,

because you're aces
at both of them.

I don't understand
how you found out.

I am so stupid.
I can't believe I did it.

I've never felt more awful
about anything in my life.

What's Artie all worked up about?

You are such a jerk.

- You told Kurt?
- I don't remember. Maybe.

About Finn and Santana?

- No. I think I told him.
- Who told you?

I think Brittany told me.

- Or maybe it was Puck.
- Yeah, it was me.

Everybody knew about this but me?

- Pretty much.
- Nobody tells you anything

because A,
you're a blabber mouth

and B, we all just
pretend to like you.

That's not true.
I kind of like her.

Look, Rachel, when this all happened,
you were dating

another guy, so you don't
really have a right to be pissed

at me about it, okay?

And fine. I shouldn't
have lied about it,

but to be honest,
that isn't what you care about.

You care about the
Santana of it all.

Oh, who are you right now?

- Best... green room... ever.
- You know what?

You guys are going to
have to find somebody else

to mindlessly harmonize
in the background,

because I'm not
going onstage with him.

Make that two subs.
I'm not going out there with Brittany.

- Me, either.
- Enough!

Listen to yourselves!

I'm ashamed of you.

Think back to where you
were this time last year.

In this room. No set list,
no choreography.

No chance in hell of winning,
but you did win.

Because you did it together.

Look, I don't care if you
guys hate each other.

All I want is for you
guys to go out there

and sing together.
Get up there,

and for six minutes,

remind yourselves
that you're not alone.

All right.
Show time!

Just tell me why you
would cheat on me.

I don't know.
Why would I cheat on you?

Is this, like, a Mad Lib,
or something?

You cheated on me with Mike.

- You admitted it to me in the green room.
- When?

When I was accusing
you of adultery.

What does that have to
do with me cheating?

"Adultery" means cheating.

I thought it meant being stupid.

Like being a dolt.

I didn't cheat on you.

I did something much worse.

I lost your magic comb.

I don't know what happened.
I had it in my pocket.

And then I went to
motocross practice,

and then, when I left,
it was gone.

That's why I've been avoiding you.
I was so ashamed.

That magic comb

was our only chance of winning,
the only thing keeping me

from totally screwing it up.

I didn't want to let
you down, Artie.

That wasn't a magic comb.

I just found it on the floor

and ran into you on the way
to tossing it in the trash.

And you let me comb
my hair with it?

You don't need a magic comb.

You're magic, Brittany...
The way you move...

And I just should
have told you that

in the first place, and I'm sorry.

When I'm out there dancing today,

it won't be for the
team or for the crowd.

It will be for you.

What are you doing?

I'm a wrestler.

This is how I get psyched
up for competition.

Listen, you don't
have to be nervous.

You saved my life.
I've got your back.

Oh, I'm not nervous.
You know why?


Because show choir is stupid.

And now for our final
performance of the program...

From McKinley High,
The New Directions!


You look beautiful.

♪ Now I've had the time of my life. ♪
♪ Ba-da, ba-da, ba-da... ♪

♪ No, I've never felt
like this before. ♪

♪ Yes, I swear it's the truth. ♪

♪ And I owe it all to you. ♪

♪ 'Cause I've had the
time of my life, ♪

♪ and I owe it all to you. ♪

♪ I've been waiting for so long ♪

♪ and now I finally found
someone to stand by me. ♪

♪ Ba-da, ba-da, ba-da... ♪

♪ We saw the writing on the wall ♪

♪ as we felt this magical fantasy. ♪

♪ Now with passion in our eyes, ♪

♪ there's no way we could
disguise it secretly. ♪

♪ Ba-da, ba-da, ba-da... ♪

♪ So we take each other's hand ♪

♪ 'cause we seem to
understand the urgency. ♪

♪ Oh... ♪
♪ Just remember: ♪

♪ You're the one thing... ♪

♪ I can't get enough of. ♪
♪ I can't get enough of. ♪

♪ So I'll tell you something: ♪

♪ This could be love. ♪

♪ Because
I've had the time of my life. ♪

♪ No, I never felt this way before. ♪

♪ Never felt this way... ♪
♪ Yes, I swear. ♪

♪ It's the truth. ♪

♪ And I owe it all to you. ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba... ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba ba ba... ♪

♪ Ba ba ba ba... ♪
♪ Now, I... ♪

♪ Ooh... ♪
♪ I... ♪

♪ Had the time of my life. ♪

♪ No, I never felt this way before. ♪

♪ Never felt this way... ♪
♪ Yes, I swear. ♪

♪ It's the truth. ♪

♪ And I owe it all to you. ♪

♪ Oh, I had the time of my life. ♪

♪ Of my life... ♪
♪ And I never felt ♪

♪ this way before. ♪
♪ Never felt this way... ♪

♪ Yes, I swear. ♪
♪ Yes, I swear. ♪

♪ It's the truth. ♪
♪ It's the truth. ♪

♪ And I owe it all to you. ♪

♪ Ooh... Oh... Oh... ♪

♪ Oh... Oh! ♪

♪ Well, sometimes I
go out by myself ♪

♪ and I look across the water. ♪
♪ Ooh ooh ooh... ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh... ♪

♪ And I think of all the things,
what you're doing, ♪

♪ and in my head,
I paint a picture. ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh... ♪

♪ 'Cause since I've come on home, ♪

♪ well, my body's been a mess. ♪

♪ And I miss your ginger hair, ♪

♪ and the way you like to dress. ♪

♪ Oh, won't you come on over? ♪

♪ Stop making a fool out of me. ♪

♪ Why don't you come on over,
Valerie? ♪

♪ Ba, ba, bada, ba,
ba, ba, bada ba... ♪

♪ Valerie... ♪
♪ Ba, ba, bada, ba... ♪

♪ Why don't you come on over? ♪

♪ Valerie... ♪
♪ Ba, ba, bada, ba.... ♪

♪ Valerie, Valerie... ♪

♪ Valerie... ♪
♪ Ba, ba, bada, ba... ♪

♪ Why don't you come on over? ♪

♪ Well, sometimes ♪

♪ I go out by myself and
I look across the water. ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪

♪ And I think of all the things,
what you're doing, ♪

♪ and in my head I paint a picture. ♪
♪ Ooh, ooh... ♪

♪ 'Cause since I've come on home, ♪
♪ Ah, ah... ♪

♪ well, my body's been a mess. ♪

♪ And I've missed your ginger hair, ♪

♪ and the way you like to dress. ♪

♪ Ah, ah... ♪
♪ Won't you come on over? ♪

♪ Stop makin' a fool out of me. ♪

♪ Oh, why don't you
come on over, Valerie? ♪

♪ Ba, ba, bada, ba,
ba, ba, bada, ba... ♪

♪ Valerie... ♪
♪ Ba, ba, bada, ba... ♪

♪ Why don't you come on over? ♪

♪ Valerie, Valerie... ♪

♪ Why don't you come on over? ♪

♪ Valerie... ♪
♪ Ba, ba, bada, ba... ♪

♪ Why don't you come
on over Valerie? ♪

And now, this year's head judge,
Associate Director

of the Ohio Department
of Motor Vehicles,

Mr. Pete Sosnowski.

Thank you.

And thank you to all the groups
who performed here today.

We all had a serious good time.

You know what else is
a serious good time?

Taking two minutes to save a life

by filling out an
organ donor card.

Because it's never
too late to donate.

Drum roll, please.

In third place...

The Hipsters!

Thank you.

Drive carefully.

And now, the winner of this year's
west-central sectional is...

It's a tie.

You're all going to the regionals!

- Congratulations.
- Oh, nice work. See you at regionals.

We get to go on.




You okay?

Is that it? Is that your trophy?

- Yeah, this is it.
- Wow.

- We won.
- I know. I heard.

- It's exciting. Congratulations.
- Thanks.

I wanted to call you, but I, uh...

Emma, it's cool.

Guess you didn't need your
good luck charm, after all.

You were missed.

I need to tell you
about my weekend.

I think I'd rather not
hear all the details.

- Carl took me to Vegas...
- Why are you telling me this?

Is that an engagement ring?

It's a wedding ring, actually.


I'm happy for you.

- Will, I...
- Let's just...

Leave it at that, hmm?

When we first started Glee Club,
I told Mr. Schuester

that being a part of something
special makes you special,

and I don't know, I just...

I think I lost that
somewhere along the way.

But winning that way
at sectionals...

It really reminded me of it.

Are we a part of
something special...

You and me?


I love you.

No more lying...


There's, um, something that I...
I need to tell you.

Last week, when...
When we were fighting,

I was...

I was so mad at you and I was...
I was so hurt

that I wanted to make you
feel as bad as I felt.

Is something wrong?
Did I bite you again?

I did this to Finn once before.

I... I can't do it again.

I'm sorry. I have to go.

I'm so sorry, and...
And it will never, ever happen again.

I knew you were a lot
of things, Rachel,

and I loved you because and in
spite of all of them, but...

I never thought you were mean.

I'm saying that I'm sorry.

And doesn't what you did
with Santana kind of cancel this out?

We weren't together.

I didn't cheat on you.
How could you do this to me?

It was a mistake.

Well, maybe we should go to another
counseling session with Miss Pillsbury.

Can't have couple's counseling
if you're not a couple.

You're breaking up with me?

What you did was
really bad, Rachel.

And you knew how sensitive
I'd be about this

after what happened with Quinn.

You said you'd never
break up with me.

I never thought you'd
make me feel like this.

I got your text.
What's wrong?

It's Pavarotti. I think he's sick.

I've been taking good care of him,
but he... He won't sing,

and... And he's losing his feathers.

Oh, he's just molting.

He's growing a new
coat of feathers,

so his body has to
shut down a little.

But don't worry about it.

He's got food, water,
he seems to like his cage.

Just give it a little while.

He'll be singing again in no time.

Don't forget.

Warbler practice tonight at 5:00.

Regionals, here we come.

You changed your look.

Yeah, this is more me.

I'm sorry I doubted you, Mike.

Asian kiss?

Asian kiss.

Congratulations, guys.

It wasn't pretty,
but we're moving on.

And I, for one,
am going to be happy to have

regionals and
nationals to focus on.

Mr. Shue, we heard the news
about Miss Pillsbury marrying

- the finest dentist alive.
- It's all right.

We don't need to talk about it.


I know we've had our, um...

Our dramas this week,

but our family's back
in a happy place,

and I think we should celebrate
the best way we know how.

Rachel... So how would
you like to solo?

Thanks, but, um, I don't really
feel like a solo right now.

I... I'd like to defer to this week's
two unsung heroes,

Mercedes and Tina.

Well, don't have to ask me twice.

♪ Happiness hit her
like a train on a track. ♪

♪ Coming towards her, ♪

♪ stuck, still no turning back. ♪

♪ She hid around corners,
and she hid under beds. ♪

♪ She killed it with kisses,
and from it she fled. ♪

♪ The dog days are over. ♪

♪ The dog days are done. ♪

♪ The horses are coming,
so you better run, ♪

♪ Run fast for your mother,
run fast for your father, ♪

♪ run for your children,
for your sisters and your brothers. ♪

♪ Leave all your love
and your longing behind. ♪

♪ You can't carry it with
you if you want to survive. ♪

♪ The dog days are over. ♪

♪ The dog days are done. ♪

♪ Can't you hear the horses? ♪

♪ 'Cause here they come. ♪

♪ And I never wanted
anything from you, ♪

♪ except everything you had, ♪

♪ and what was left after that, too. ♪

♪ Run fast for your mother,
run fast for your father, ♪

♪ run for your children,
for your sisters and your brothers. ♪

♪ Leave all your love
and your longing behind. ♪

♪ You can't carry it with
you if you want to survive. ♪

♪ The dog days are over. ♪

♪ The dog days are done. ♪

♪ Can't you hear the horses? ♪

♪ 'Cause here they come. ♪

♪ The dog days are over.
The dog days are done. ♪

♪ The dog days are over.
The dog days are done. ♪