Glee (2009–2015): Season 2, Episode 5 - The Rocky Horror Glee Show - full transcript

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* Michael Rennie was ill *

* The day the earth stood still *

* But he told us where we stand *

* And Flash Gordon was there *

* In silver underwear *

* Claude rains was
the invisible man *

* Then something went wrong *

* For fay Wray and king Kong *

* They got caught
in a celluloid jam *

* Then at a deadly pace *



* It came from outer space *

* And this is how
the message ran *

* Science fiction *

* Double feature *

* To the late night
double feature *

* Picture show. *

* In the velvet darkness *

* Of the blackest night *

* Burning bright *

* There's a guiding star *

* No matter what *

* Or who *

* Who you are *

* There's a light *



* Over at the frankenstein place *

* There's a light *

* Burning in the fireplace *

* There's a light *

* Light in the darkness *

* Of everybody... *

Schuester, you messing
with my woman?

I... I thought we had a deal.

This is the face of a
guy who stepped in it.

How did it get to this?

How did a production of
Rocky Horror turn into...

Ugh...My horror?

It all started a week ago.

Hey, Em. Hi.

What's with your crusts?

You-you always cut them off.

I must have forgotten
this morning.

Forgot?

Carl and I had the
most amazing weekend.

We hit the revival theater

downtown for the midnight
show of Rocky Horror.

You're kidding.

No.

Isn't that where everyone
dresses up and yells stuff?

Yes, yeah.

I mean, well, we don't dress up.

At least not yet.

Wait, isn't that
theater a total dive?

It's disgusting, it's horrible.

I know. I mean, there isn't

a surface that isn't

covered in spilled soda,
so you'd think

it'd be a nightmare for me, right?

But I don't know,
I'm having so much fun

that I don't even notice.

Mm. And get this.

You know how I've always been

very anti-Halloween

'cause it totally freaks me out
to think about eating candy

that someone else
has touched, right?

Well, Carl and I are gonna
dress up as characters

from the show,
and we're actually gonna

go trick-or-treating!

The sandwich,

the dirty theater...
he's actually making her better.

...Go as Janet, because obviously,

she's a ginger... he's winning.

Why the hell didn't I think of
taking her to that damn show?

Oh, it's so weird

that you brought up how
much you love that show,

because just last weekend,

I decided to have the glee
club perform Rocky Horror

for the school musical this year.

Wow, Will. Yeah.

Cool, right? It's very, very cool.

That's so... I mean,

who knew that Rocky Horror was
so important to both of us?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

Isn't there some
pretty risqu? material

in there, though?

Yeah, I mean,
I'll probably have to

make some edits here and there,

but it's worth it to
expose the kids to

one of my favorite
musicals of all time.

Yeah. I love that show.

Wow, yeah. Mm.

Well, I'm thinking you're gonna
have to edit the whole thing out

if you're gonna get Sue and
Figgins to sign off on it.

But, um, that's really exciting.

Right.

Let's go, Rocky Horror.

Oh, um, yep. Yeah.

So what are you gonna be
for Halloween this year?

I'm going as a peanut allergy.

Great news, guys.

I've had a little inspiration.

This week's musical lesson
isn't really a lesson.

It's a musical.

Oh, please be Evita,
please be Evita...

Rocky Horror.

I've never seen it.

Mr. Shue. Yep?

While I admire your choice

of the groundbreaking
'70s musical,

aren't you worried
that the adult themes

might be a point of controversy?

Seriously. A school in Texas
couldn't even do rent.

It caused an outrage and
they had to cancel the show.

Isn't that the whole
point of the arts?

Pushing boundaries, doing things

people say you can't
do for the sake of

self-expression?

I got it all figured out.

I cut out some of the
more risqu? sections.

And I'm sending home
permission slips

to all your parents to make
sure that they're okay with it.

And we're going to charge
admission and use the proceeds

to help pay for transportation

to nationals in New York.

Okay, let's talk about casting.

Oh, finn and I will
play Brad and Janet.

Ah! And I'll be playing

the guy in the wheelchair, right?

That's what I was thinking.

And I thought Kurt could play

the role of Frank-n-furter.

No. There's no way

I'm playing a transvestite
in high heels and fishnets

and wearing lipstick.

Why? 'Cause that
look was last season?

I'll do it.

Really?

It's, like, the male lead.

I know, but I'm feeling
a little more confident

about my singing voice
after our duets project.

Great! I have no
problem with that.

Now, we're a little
short on female roles,

so we're going to have to double
up on columbias and magentas.

It's standard
practice on Broadway.

It'll preserve your voices.

I'd like to preserve you.

In a jar.

In my basement.

Sam.

I'd like you to play the
role of the creature.

From the black lagoon?

Rocky. He's like the
frankenstein character,

but blond. You'll kill the part.

He's cute, just like you.

Better start working on those abs.

Are you kidding me? You could
cut glass with these babies.

I have no problem
showing off my body.

Okay. Looks like we
got ourselves a show.

So then after the time warp,
riff raff aka Kurt

takes us to Frank-n-furter's lab.

I have no idea what's
going on in this script,

and it's not in a cool
inception kind of way.

Just try, okay?

All right, so, then they
take off our wet clothes,

and we do the rest of the
scene in our underwear.

Wait, I'm in my tighty-whities?

Yeah.

I can't be on stage,

in front of the whole school

in my tighty-whities. They're...

Gonna be able to see my whole...

Business.

Come on. It will just be
like going to the pool.

I wear a swim shirt at the pool.

I tell everybody it's because
I burn easily, but...

Look... I know I'm a big athlete,

and it's not manly or anything...

But I'm kind of insecure
about how I look.

Come on. You just...

You know, you have a
different body type.

I don't look like
Brittany or santana,

but you still think
I'm hot, right?

Yeah, of course.

So, then...

You're just going
to have to trust me

that you're the
hottest guy in school.

Okay?

Okay. Come her

all right.

So, then after that,

Frank-n-furter's
going to come down

and elevator,
and when he comes down,

we are scared.

I might faint.
Maybe a couple times.

...Making it the zoo's first

unitarian chimp wedding
in over six years.

And we certainly
wish the couple well.

And now, let's mosey on
over to Sue's corner.

Take it away, Sue.

Thanks, .

You know, Halloween
is fast approaching,

the day when parents
encourage little boys

to dress like little girls,

and little girls to
dress like whores,

and go door-to-door,
browbeating hardworking Americans

into giving them free food.

Well you know what, Western Ohio?

We've lost the true
meaning of Halloween.

Fear.

Halloween is that
magical day of the year

when a child is told their
grandmother's a demon

who's been feeding
them rat casserole

with a crunchy garnish
of their own scabs.

Children must know fear.

Without it, they won't
know how to behave.

They'll try frenching
grizzly bears

or consider living in Florida.

So, moms, skip
trick-or-treating this year,

and instead, sit your little
toddler down and explain

that daddy's a hungry zombie,

and before he went out
to sharpen his pitchfork,

he whispered to mommy
that you looked delicious.

And that's how Sue sees it.

Sue, you're the cat's pajamas.

And we'll be right back.

Hello, Sue. I'm Barry Jeffries.

This is Tim Stanwick.

We're the new local station
managers down at Wohn.

Do you mind if we sit?

We loved Sue's corner last night.

Oh, yeah. You know,

we come from the
world of cable news.

And we have... ideas.

You see, good news
is about information.

But great news is about fear.

For example... Tim! Hmm?

Did you hear about the swarm
of africanized killer bees?

No. Wouldn't it be awful

to see an entire town overrun

by killer bees?

I'm sorry, did you just say, Tim,

"an entire town overrun
by killer bees"?

Well, I ju... there's your quote.

And you can replace "killer bees"

with whatever you want!
Terrorists!

Mexicans!

Mexican terrorists!

Ants!

Mexican terrorist ants!

So, what can I do for you?

Someone at this school is
seeking the stage rights

to Rocky Horror as
this year's musical.

I take it you know the show.

When I was younger,
I took my sister to the show.

The audience was so enraged

at having a disabled
person in their midst,

you know what they did?

They threw toast at us.

You want me to shut it down?

No. No.

We want you to do an expos?
Proving that the secular

progressive agenda has
finally arrived here

in the Lima, Ohio,
school district.

Sue, it's got a local
Emmy written all over it.

We have a deal?

All right, places,
Finn and Rachel.

I want to start with
"damn it, Janet."

Oh! I cannot wait till

Finn takes his top off so we can
all see the hotness underneath.

What are you talking about?
You can't have sloppy Joes

every day for lunch and think
you can get away with it.

Um... that's incredibly rude.

Is it? Guys whisper
behind our backs

about how we girls look every day.

They objectify us all the time.

He sort of has a point.
Yeah, earlier today,

Artie asked if he could
make a gigantic omelet

when I'm done with the ostrich
eggs I'm smuggling in my bra.

I'm super looking forward to
seeing Sam in his gold bikini.

It's gonna be ab-ulous.

Can we get on with rehearsal,
please? Yeah!

I agree! Yes.

Let's stay focused, guys.
All right...

Riff raff and Columbia
and magenta, team one.

Take your places.

Let's rock and roll.

Hey, Janet...

Yes, Brad?

I've got something to say.

I really loved the...

Skillful way...

You beat the other girls...

To the bride's bouquet

oh, Brad!

* The river was deep,
but I swam it Janet... *

* The future is ours,
so let's plan it Janet *

* So please don't tell
me to can it Janet *

* I've one thing to say *

* And that's damn it,
Janet, I love you *

* The road was long,
but I ran it Janet... *

* There's a fire in my heart
and you fan it Janet *

* If there's one fool for you,
then I am it Janet... *

* I've one thing to say *

* And that's damn it,
Janet, I love you *

* Here's a ring to prove
that I'm no joker *

* There's three ways
that love can grow *

* That's good, bad or mediocre *

* Oh, j-a-n-e-t, I love you so *

* It's nicer than Betty Munroe had *
* Oh, Brad *

* Now we're engaged and
I'm so glad Oh, Brad *

* That you've met mom and
you know dad Oh, Brad *

* I've one thing to say *

* And that's Brad,
I'm mad for you, too... *

What made you think

you could get away with doing
this show without my knowledge?

I didn't; I was hoping
just to run out the clock

until it was too late to stop us.

Who says I want to stop you?

I appreciate how Rocky
Horror pushes boundaries.

So you're not gonna fight us?

Perhaps not.

I just want to be involved, Will.

The arts matter.

Fine. Join us.

Play the part of
the criminologist.

We need someone with authority.

Done. Great.

We rehearse tonight.

Fantastic. Give me
time to do my rewrites.

I'm sorry? Yeah,
it says right here in my contract

that I get final script approval.

And I wouldn't fight it, Will.

I'm a notary public.
See you on the boards, buddy.

75...

Chicken, egg whites,
fish... no salmon...

oatmeal, brown rice,
but not after 6:00 P.M.

No butter or oil and no soda.

That's all you eat?

Ain't no carpool lane to sexy.

Damn straight.

I don't know, man, I never
used to think about this stuff.

I mean, we're guys.

When did this start to matter?

I personally blame the Internet.

Once Internet porn was invented,
girls could watch without having

to make that embarrassing
trip to the video store.

Internet porn altered

the female brain chemistry,

making them more like men.

And thus more concerned
with our bodies.

But doesn't it get exhausting
thinking about what you eat,

like, working out
like a madman? Nah.

I mean, if I miss a workout or
eat a hot dog, I hate myself

for a few days, but the fact is,

if I want to be cool,
if I want to get Quinn for good,

I got to look the part.

You get up on that
stage and look like

the Pillsbury doughboy,
no way you're staying popular.

Come on, let's do some squats.

I think maybe that's why Sue's
been such a bully all along.

She really just wants
to be included.

Listen...

I really don't want to

overstep my boundaries here,
but I really need your help.

I-I need to find
all these costumes,

and nobody knows Rocky
Horror like you.

I don't know, would you

mind coming on board
as my costume designer?

Are you serious?
You're not kidding?

I would love to! I'd love to!

Well, it's gonna be a lot of work,

and we're gonna be spending
a lot of time together.

Yes, it's a dream come true!

I mean, the costume designing
is a dream come true;

Not the spending a lot of time...
not that spending a lot of time

wouldn't be, but it... because
of Carl... I've got the Carl.

Yeah, Carl. Yeah.

Mr. Shue? My parents
read the script,

and they're pulling me
out of Rocky Horror.

What?

I really want to do it,
but they're just not cool

with me dressing up like a tranny.

I hate to let you down,
but I'm out.

Becky...

That is the best Halloween costume

I've ever seen.

Thanks, coach.

There's only one thing missing.

Go scream at some fatties.

Oh, and Becky, next year,
when you trick or treat as me,

you'll need to be clutching a bright,
glittering local Emmy.

Uh, Sue, I've got some bad news.

We lost our Frank-n-furter,
and I can't find a replacement.

Musical's canceled.

Yeah, that's cute, that's good.
Look at this. See?

I'm gonna have to
squeeze into this.

They were out of the
latex panties, so I got

the see-through, see? Look.

Take your sick, perverted sex
games out of this school!

No, no, no, Sue,
this is not what it looks like...

I should have known.

People who dress like librarians...
all sex addicts.

I'm sorry. And you are?

Oh, okay.

Carl, meet Sue. Sue, this is

my boyfriend Carl.

Sue, how do you do?

Okay.

I was just showing Emma
my Halloween costume.

We're both sort of
Rocky Horror fans.

Sort of? Well...

Yeah! Sort of? Please!

Carl knows the lyrics to every
single song. Every song.

He has an amazing voice,
too, so...

Well, for a dentist.
For a dentist...

You okay?

Yeah, Carl, it's just...

My heart is, uh...
is breaking just a little bit.

I'm not sure if you
know this about me,

but I am a huge proponent
of the arts in schools,

and, well,
even at this very school,

gosh, we're failing,
and, uh, you know,

when the kids don't have arts,
they turn to drugs and...

With drugs comes tooth loss and...

Are you ready for a
chilling statistic?

70% of all teeth in
this school are wooden.

Seventy percent?

Is there anything
I can do to help?

I don't understand.

Well, you guys have
a hole to fill,

and I'm just trying
to help fill it.

Wanky. Santana!

Well, you know,
I can't just give you a role.

You'd have to try out.

Fair enough, but I'll
need a lady to sing to.

Ems?

Okay.

"Hot patootie." B-flat.

* Whatever happened
to Saturday night *

* When you dressed up sharp
and you felt all right? *

* It don't seem the same
since cosmic light *

* Came into my life,
I thought I was divine *

* I used to go for a ride
with a chick who'd go *

* And listen to the
music on the radio *

* A saxophone was blowin'
on a rock and roll show *

* You'd climb in the back seat,
really had a good time *

* Hot patootie, bless my soul *

* I really love
that rock and roll *

* Hot patootie, bless my soul *

* I really love
that rock and roll *

Come on.

* My head used to swim from
the perfume I smelled *

* My hands kind of fumbled
with her white plastic belt *

* I'd taste her
baby pink lipstick *

* And that's when I'd melt *

* She whispered in my ear
tonight she really was mine *

* Get back in front,
put some hair oil on *

* Buddy holly was singing
his very last song *

* With your arms around your girl,
you'd try to sing along *

* You felt pretty good, whoo,
you really had a good time *

* Hot patootie, bless my soul *

* I really love
that rock and roll *

* Hot patootie, bless my soul *

* I really love
that rock and roll *

* Hot patootie, bless my soul *

* I really love
that rock and roll *

* Hot patootie, bless my soul *

* I really love
that rock and roll *

* Hot patootie, bless my soul *

* I really love
that rock and roll *

* Hot patootie, bless my soul *

* I really love that
rock and roll! *

Yeah!

No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait.

This will not do.

Excuse me? For this musical

to continue, we need a
Frank-n-furter, not an Eddie.

Eddie was eliminated
in my rewrites.

Sue's right.

You want to play in our sandbox,
sing a Frank-n-furter number.

Well, I'm sorry, bro,
but I think it's fine to wear

that Frankie bustier in the
privacy of your own home...

I'm freaky like that...
but don't you think it's a little

inappropriate in a high school musical?
I mean, at least if I

play Eddie, I won't have to
grind up against the students.

You know, Eddie's
an important role.

If I did it, I'd be showing
my support for the arts.

Are you telling me how
to direct my show?

Will, Will...

Mr. Shue...

I'd like to play Frank-n-furter.

I was rereading the script
yesterday, and it said

"don't dream it, be it."

And it's my dream
to play a lead role,

so I figure, why not me?

I mean, I'd be all kind of
crazy sexy in that outfit.

And I can reinterpret the

number a little bit...
make it more modern.

I'd really like the chance,
Mr. Shue.

Well, there you go, Will.
You killed two birds

with one stone here today...
congratulations.

Look, you got yourself
a Frank-n-furter

and an Eddie.

This is outstanding.

You ready for our first
dress rehearsal? Mm-hmm.

Okay, guys... places!

Uh, Mr. Shue?

Uh... I know I'm supposed to be

in my underwear for this scene,
and I'm totally down with that.

I thought maybe I would save it
for the opening, if that's okay.

Um, also, miss Pillsbury, is there

a way I could...

Wear, like, some gold
board shorts or something?

These are really short.

I'm afraid I'm gonna
show off some nuttage.

Well... we'll take a note.

We can't stop, guys.

It's a dress rehearsal.

Come on, keep going.

And...

Action!

Oh, Brad, let's get out of here.

I'm cold, I'm wet and
I'm just plain scared.

Well, I'm here.

There's nothing to worry about.

* How do you do, I *

* See you met my *

* Faithful handyman *

* He's just a little broke down *

* 'Cause wouldn't you know *

* He thought you
were the candy man *

* Don't get strung out *

* By the way I look *

* Don't judge a
book by its cover *

* I'm not much of a girl *

* By the light of day *

* But by night,
I'm one hell of a lover *

* I'm just a sweet transvestite *

* From sin... sational *

* Transylvania *

* Why don't you
stay for the night *

Night.

* Or maybe a bite *

Bite.

* I could show you my
favorite obsession *

* I've been making a man *

* With blond hair and a tan *

* And he's good for
relieving my tension *

* I'm just a sweet transvestite *

* A sweet transvestite *

* From sin... sational *

* Transylvania *

* Hey, hey *

* I'm just a sweet transvestite *

* A sweet transvestite *

* From sin... sational *

* Transylvania. *

So, come up to the lab...

...And see what's on the slab.

I see you shiver with antici...

...Pation! Pation!

* But maybe the rain *

* Isn't really to blame *

* So I'll remove the cause *

* But not the symptom! *

Now that's an entrance.

Mr. director,
I take that wall out right?

You're two acts early, Carl.

You're supposed to bust through

the dinner party scene.

Oh... well, actually,

I was sort of feeling my
entrance in this scene.

Such good, good,
interesting impulses.

Emma: Oh!

Bravo, Carl, bravo.

Will?

Hey, I got your note
you wanted to see me.

We have a problem with the show.

It's Carl.

Really?

I thought he was perfect.

I agree, but, uh...

What he said during his audition,

it's-it's-it's-it's haunted me.

He's right.

Some of these parts are just
too adult for kids to play.

Oh, yeah, well,
I have to agree, Will.

You know? Especially Sam.

Sam! Right.

He seems so uncomfortable.

I know. I... yeah.

So I spoke with him.

Is there something
wrong with my body?

Your body's fine, Sam.

But, frankly, I think the role's

a little too risqu? for a student.

I did feel kind of... embarrassed.

Who's gonna play Rocky?

Uh, I guess I have to.

I'm-I'm sorry?

I figured if Carl can
play Eddie, then...

I can play Rocky. Hmm.

Thing is, I'm not as familiar

with the libretto as you are,

and I can really use
your help rehearsing.

Uh... I'm... are-are you
sure that's a good idea?

I mean, you'll be a great Rocky.

You look really,
really great... h-healthy,

but I mean, you're a teacher.

Which is why I should do it.

It will give the show a little
more credibility, you know?

Oh.

So... think you could help me out?

I mean, I have to have
"touch-a touch me"

down by rehearsal tomorrow.

Yeah, okay.

Okay?

Um... well, I guess,

if you want to start over there,

and I will start here.

Right. Good, good,
good, good. Good.

So let's just, uh, just imagine

that we're all alone in
Frank-n-furter's laboratory...

Alone. Okay.

* I was feeling done in *

* Couldn't win *

* I'd only ever kissed before... *

You mean she...?
Uh-huh.

* I felt there's no use getting *

* Into heavy sweating *

* It only leads to trouble and *

* Bad fretting *

* Now all I want to know *

* Is how to go *

* I've tasted blood
and I want more *

* More, more, more *

* I'll put up no resistance *

* I want to stay the distance *

* I've got an itch to scratch *

* I need assistance *

* Touch-a, touch-a,
touch-a touch me *

* I want to be dirty *

* Thrill me, chill me,
fulfill me *

* Creature of the night *

* Then if anything shows *

* While you pose *

* I'll oil you up
and drop you down *

* Down, down, down *

* And that's just
one small fraction *

* Of the main attraction *

Oh! *I want a friendly man *

* And I need action *

* Touch-a, touch-a,
touch-a touch me *

* I want to be dirty *

* Thrill me, chill me,
fulfill me *

* Creature of the night *

* Touch-a, touch-a,
touch-a touch me *

* I want to be dirty *

* Thrill me, chill me,
fulfill me *

* Creature of the night *

Uh-huh! Oh!

* Touch-a, touch-a,
touch-a touch me *

* Oh, I want to be dirty *

* Thrill me, chill me,
fulfill me *

* Creature of the night... *

* Creature of the night *

* Creature of the night *

* Creature of the night *

* Creature of the night*

* Creature of the night *

* Creature of the night *

* Creature... of the night *

* Creature of the night! *

I...

I, uh...

I... I, uh...

Whoa, whoa...

Ah, wow, yeah.

I would've had it.

Yeah, sure. Not that big.

Where you been? You're late.

Sorry. I spaced.

I'm not playing Rocky anymore.

You're kidding. Who is?

Mr. Shue.

I totally blew this.

I shouldn't have made all those
demands about my costume.

I just feel, I feel fat,

like I had rolls hanging
over those gold shorts.

But you're in perfect shape, dude.

Wait, since I said

I'm uncomfortable in
the tighty-whities,

does that mean I'm gonna
get replaced next?

No, you don't have
to worry about that.

The "Brad" part isn't
about looking hot.

It's about being confident in
who you are and how you look,

no matter how douchey you are.

That's guy's totally
cool being uncool.

Yeah, I'm definitely not there.

I actually started
showering with my shirt on.

Look, stop knocking
yourself out in here.

Just be you and the
sexy will flow through.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

I don't need to hide behind
my muscles, like you do.

Awesome.

I think.

Are you insulting me?

Where are you going?

To show everyone how
hot and sexy I am.

Oh, wow.

Damn those cool ranch doritos.

Eddie... I've seen him.

Eddie?

What do you know of Eddie,
Dr. Scott?

I happen to know a great deal

about a lot of things.

You see...

Eddie happens to be my nephew.

This play is terrible.

Finn's line: "Dr. Scott!"

Janet!

Dr. Scott! Will:
Finn's line: "Janet!"

I'm so bored I just
fell into a micro-sleep.

Brad! Rocky!

Janet. Dr. Scott!

Still being Finn: "Janet!"

Brad! None of this is plausible.

Rocky!

Janet! Dr. Scott!

Finn's line: "Janet!" Brad!

Rocky.

This play has incredible
pacing problems.

Mr. Shue, it is pointless

to rehearse this
scene without Finn.

We don't have a choice.

He's late and he's not
answering his phone.

We gotta get this
timing down, guys.

And would you please stop
interjecting your opinions, Sue?

Opinions? These are my rewrites.

William, I'd like to see
you in my office, please.

Suspended? For what?

I sort of walked down the hall
in my Rocky Horror costume.

Whoa! Nice panties, baby Huey!

Hey, my grandpa Murray called.

He wants his boxers back.

Why would you do that?

I was trying to get
comfortable in my costume.

You don't understand how
hard it is for us guys

to be exposed like that.

Just thought maybe it would
make me feel hot enough

to get up on stage and
sing in my underwear.

I'm recommending one
month's suspension

and summer school to make
up for any lost class time.

Can we have a moment alone please?

You can't do this to him.

He was just coming to
rehearsal in his costume...

that's not a crime.

Nine children have
already signed up

for after-school therapy.

I had to bring in
a grief counselor.

Last year when the cheerios!
Won the national championship,

Santana pantsed Brittany,

and she was wearing a lot
less than her underwear.

Neither of them were suspended.

That was in the middle
of a celebration.

But there's still a precedent.

Huh?

Fine. A warning.

Thank you.

William?

To be honest,

your motivations for doing this
production are murky to me,

considering all
that you're risking

if something goes too far.

What are you saying?

I'm saying that you're welcome
to continue with this,

but if you get any heat about it,

I won't be able to protect you.

You're putting you
and your glee club

on the line,
and I want you to be sure

that whatever you're
doing it for is worth it.

Finn & Rachel: *There's a... *

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Schuester, you messing
with my woman?

I thought we had a deal.

I, uh...

I-I-I don't know what
you're talking about.

Yes, you do,

because Emma and I have

a full disclosure policy...
total honesty.

Something that allows us
to have a little thing

I like to call intimacy.

Something you clearly
know nothing about.

Look, we were just rehearsing.

Stop it, bro.

Man-to-man, you gave me your word.

So, what, you quitting the show?

No, no, no, no.

Unlike you I believe in
the power of the arts.

I don't just use them to
pick up other guys' chicks.

Trick or treat!

Oh, geez, Becky, I forgot that
"take back the night club"

was going door-to-door
this evening.

I want my chocolate bar.

I'm sorry.

I've been working so
hard on Rocky Horror,

I forgot to buy candy.

Rocky Horror is an abomination.

What did you just say?

That's what coach Sue
says on her tape.

It's in her office. I'll show you.

So I went undercover to expose

what your tax dollars are
funding in our public schools

in the name of the arts.

Now, I'm all about
personal freedom.

I've publicly voiced my support

for that lady who wants
to marry her own sores.

But just because you're free
to say whatever you want,

doesn't always mean you should.

Artists are free to push
boundaries to make art.

But when pushing boundaries
is their only aim,

the result is usually bad art.

There's a time and a
place for everything,

and squeamishness about what

we want our children exposed
to is not the same as bigotry.

Freedom-loving adults are
free to have an open,

lively debate about what
we want our society to be.

But let's not make our children
fight the culture war for us.

They deserve a little
bit better than that.

And that's... how Sue sees it.

Give me chocolate
or I will cut you.

Sue, you set me up.

Hey, there, William.

Root through anyone's
personal belongings lately?

When were you planning
on airing that?

Opening night.
That's why I pretaped it.

Oh, I know you're furious, Will.

But do you honestly believe

anything I said was unreasonable?

Well...

No.

There are limits, Will.
There is a line.

And for reasons I suspect have
nothing to do with your kids,

you crossed it.

You can't yell fire

in a crowded theatre,
and you can't expose kids

to material like this.

Not on the taxpayer's dime.

Oh, please, Sue!

They have the Internet.
They are exposed!

Don't lead them to it.

Don't make it okay. They're kids!

And now more than ever,
high school is

a dangerous place,
and it's our job

to guide them through it safely.

And we still get to torture
them along the way.

It's a fabulous system.

You're right.

I-I'm pulling the show.

Wait. What?

I'm canceling the show.

You were right.
I was totally wrong.

Well, shouldn't you wait
until opening night?

I mean, the kids worked
so hard... sorry, Sue.

Hey, do it for the kids, Will.

I need that local Emmy, Will!

Are you sure you want to
cancel the whole thing?

I never should've tried to
put it on in the first place.

The reality is...

I only did all this
to get close to you.

I guess love can make you
do some crazy things.

You know?

I'm sorry, Emma.

And I promise to never abuse our
feelings for each other again.

I mean, let's face it.

Carl's actually making you better.

And if I really love you...

...I need to back off and
accept the fact that...

At least for now,

being with him

is the best thing for you.

So, what are you going
to tell the kids?

I want to apologize

for putting you guys
through all this...

particularly Finn and Sam.

It's cool, Mr. Shue.

I'm sure the teasing will die down

by the time my tenth
reunion rolls around.

And I got asked to be June

in the men of McKinley
high calendar.

I'm happy for you.

But we still can't do the musical.

Look, I was wrong.

Rocky Horror isn't

about pushing boundaries or
making an audience accept

a certain rebellious
point of view.

Those were my reasons
for doing it,

and they aren't worth risking
what we have here for.

And when I was younger,

and they started midnight
shows of Rocky Horror,

it wasn't for envelope pushers.

It was for outcasts,

people on the fringes
who had no place

left to go, but were
searching for someplace,

anyplace, where they
felt like they belonged.

Sound familiar?

The truth is,
with that perspective,

Rocky Horror is the perfect
show for this club.

Well, then why aren't
we putting it on?

We're still going to
perform Rocky Horror.

We're just not doing
it for an audience.

We're doing it for ourselves.

It's astounding.

Time is fleeting.

Madness... takes its toll.

But listen closely.

Not for very much longer.

I've got to keep control.

* I remember doing the time-warp *

* Drinking those moments when *

* The blackness would hit me *

*And a void would be calling *

* Let's do the time-warp again *

* Let's do the time-warp again! *

It's just a jump to the left.

* And then a step to the right *

Put your hands on your hips.

* You bring your knees in tight *

That really drives you insane *

* Let's do the time-warp again *

* Let's do the time-warp again *

* It's so dreamy *

* Oh, fantasy free me *

* So you can't see me,
no, not at all *

* In another dimension *

* With voyeuristic intentions *

* Well secluded, oh,
I see it all *

With a bit of a mind flip.

You're into the time slip.

And nothing can ever be the same.

* You're spaced out
on sensation, ow! *

* Like you're under sedation *

* Let's do the time-warp again *

* Let's do the time-warp again *

* Well, I was walking down the
street just a-having a think *

* When this snake of a guy
gave me an evil wink *

* He shook me up,
he took me by surprise *

* He had a pickup truck,
and the devil's eyes *

* He stared at me and
I felt a change *

* Time meant nothing,
never would again *

* Let's do the time-warp again *

* Let's do the time-warp again *

It's just a jump to the left.

* And then a step to the right *

Put your hands on your hips.

* You bring your knees in tight *

* But it's the pelvic thrust

that really drives you insane *

* Let's do the time-warp again *

* Let's do the time-warp again. *