Glee (2009–2015): Season 1, Episode 9 - Wheels - full transcript

When Artie's chances of traveling with the group to Regionals are in question, Will challenges the kids to step out of their comfort zones and experience life from a different point of view. Meanwhile, the Glee Club hosts its first "diva-off" between Kurt and Rachel, and Sue reveals a softer side.

Here's what you missed last week.
Quinn's pregnant.

- You're off the Cheerios.
- And everyone thinks that Finn's the father.

Though really, it's Puck.
But Quinn thinks he's a Lima loser...

- and doesn't want anything to do with him.
- What's up, MILF?

Also, Kurt told everybody he's gay, including
his dad, who was actually cool about it.

- Thanks for telling me, Kurt.
- And that's what you missed on...

?? Glee ??

Five, six, seven!

Five, six, seven!

Five, six, seven!
One, two, three, four!

Five, six, seven!



Five, six, seven, eight!

You shouldn't do this to yourself.

Do what?

I know how much it hurts
to be off the team.

You're just torturing yourself watching.

I need a good distraction.

From what?

- $685?
- That's how much a sonogram costs.

This is just the beginning.

There's gonna be more doctors' visits...

vitamins, new clothes for when I explode.

What are we gonna do?

What are you gonna do?

Well, I'm looking for a job.
I mean, no one's hiring.



I almost got in at Olive Garden,
but they said I was too tall to be a busboy.

Somewhere in that pea brain of yours...

is a man.

Access him and tell him to prove to me that
I chose the right guy to have a baby with.

I will.

I'll-I'll find a job.
You can count on me, I swear.

- Where-Where are you goin' ?
- You were right.

This does hurt too much.

My blog has lit up
with comments suggesting...

you don't have a shot at nationals
since you lost Quinn Fabray.

No, the Cheerios are stronger than ever.

We're gonna take nationals
with this routine.

Mediocre! Hit the showers!

I have several sources reporting
Quinn didn't wanna leave...

but you kicked her out
because of the pregnancy scandal.

Well, Jacob, this is Ohio,
and in order to win...

my Cheerios need to appeal
to that panel of judges.

So if I have a pregnant girl doing
a handspring into a double layout...

the judges aren't going
to be admiring her impeccable form.

They're going to be wondering
if the centrifugal force...

is going to make
the baby's head start crowning.

Oh, and by the way,
all this... off the record.

Probably should've told you that earlier.

- This isn't fair.
- Is it fair that...

I have to stop providing the baseball team
with protective cups?

I only get a certain amount of dollars
a year to spend, William.

- Yeah, but Artie...
- He's used to overcoming challenges.

He'll just have to find
his own ride to sectionals.

That "handicapable" bus
costs $600 a week to rent.

- We can't afford it.
- But there's enough money in the budget...

to fly the Cheerios all over the country
for their competitions?

Sue Sylvester has boosters
that write fat checks.

None of her travel expenses
come out of the school budget.

Look. When I was in the Glee Club...

the best part of the competitions
was the bus ride to the event.

It was about camaraderie
and supporting each other.

You think I feel good about this?

Well, my students won't stand for it.

That's very moving,
but my hands are tied, Schue.

If you want that bus, you're gonna have
to find a way to pay for it yourself.

- What about Target?
- Tried. Not hiring.

Another doctor bill came to
my parents' house last night, Finn.

We're lucky that I'm clever
and intercepted it.

But we have to start
paying these doctors' bills...

or they're gonna go
to a collection agency.

And then my parents are gonna find out
that I'm with child... your child.

All right, guys.
We're doin' a new number for sectionals.

I know that pop songs
have sort of been our signature pieces.

But I did a little research
on past winners...

and it turns out that the judges
like songs that are more accessible.

Stuff they know.
Uh, standards, Broadway.

"Defying Gravity"?
I have an iPod shuffle...

dedicated exclusively
to selections from Wicked.

- This is amazing.
- Think you can handle it, Rachel?

It's my go-to shower song.
It's also my ringtone.

Why do we have
to go all vanilla on this song?

See, what we need
is my chocolate thunder.

We don't have time to rearrange the song
for you, Mercedes. Rachel is singing it.

Don't worry. We'll find something
for you to dip in chocolate.

On to item two.

The school won't pay for
the special bus we need...

to take Artie and his wheelchair
with us to sectionals.

- Wh-Wh-What?
- That's completely unfair.

So, we're gonna have to raise money
to pay for it ourselves.

See, when I was in Glee Club and we needed
new silk cummerbunds for regionals...

we held a bake sale.

Wait. You're joking, right? I mean,
bake sales are kind of "bougie."

So hip people stopped eating
delicious sugary treats?

It's not that.
It's most of us don't know how to bake.

I find recipes confusing.

My family's fully committed to takeout.

Yeah, Mr. Schue.
Kids are busier than when you went here.

We've got homework and football
and teen pregnancy, lunch.

Can't Artie's dad just take him?

I can't believe how insensitive
you're all being.

- Are you a team?
- Of course.

But Artie understands.
Don't you, Artie?

Of-Of course.
It-It's cool.

I mean, anything that takes away our time
from rehearsing doesn't serve as a team.

- Let me help you out, buddy.
- Thank you.

Hey, I'm really sorry about
how they all reacted, Artie.

It's okay. I'm used to it.
They just... don't get it.

Can I use the auditorium
this afternoon to rehearse, Mr. Schue?

- Some of the band equipment's in there.
- Sure.

?? On the floor of Tokyo-o ??

?? Or down in London town to go-o ??

?? With the record selection
with the mirror reflection ??

?? I'm dancing with myself ??

?? When there's no one else in sight ??

?? In the crowded lonely night ??

?? Well, I wait so long for my love vibration ??

?? And I'm dancing with myself ??

?? I'm dancing with myself ??

?? I'm dancing with myself ??

?? Well, there's nothing to lose
and there's nothing to prove ??

?? And I'll be dancing with myself ??

?? If I looked all over the world ??

?? And there's every type of girl ??

?? But your empty eyes seem to pass me by ??

?? And leave me dancing with myself ??

?? So let's sink another drink ??

?? 'Cause it'll give me time to think ??

?? If I had the chance
I'd ask the world to dance ??

?? And I'll be dancing with myself ??

?? Oh, dancing with myself ??

?? Oh, dancing
with myself ??

?? Oh, there's nothing to lose
and there's nothing to prove ??

?? I'll be dancing with myself ??

?? Oh, dancing with myself ??

?? Oh, dancing with myself ??

?? Oh, there's nothing to lose
and there's nothing to prove ??

?? And I'll be dancing with myself ????

I have something I'd like to say.

I wanna audition for the Wicked solo.

Kurt, there's a high "F" in it.

That's well within my range.

Well, I think Rachel's
gonna be fine for the female lead.

But I'm happy to have you
try out something else, Kurt.

And we'll make sure that it's got a killer high note.

- You tried.
- Anyway...

I wanted to say something to you guys.

I was a little disappointed
at how you were all so willing...

to take the bus together to sectionals...

and make Artie
drive by himself with his dad.

We're a team, guys.
We're in this Glee Club together.

Artie doesn't care.
His dad drives him everywhere.

I do care.
That kind of hurt my feelings.

We didn't think you would
take it personally.

Well, you're irritating most of the time,
but don't take that personally.

I don't know if you guys
really understand how much harder...

- Artie has to work just to keep up.
- Preach.

We're riding to sectionals together...

or we're not going at all.

And to pay for the bus,
we're having a bake sale.

- Bake sale.
- St. Ignatius nursing home was having a tag sale.

And my A.V. Club friends here
agreed to help out.

For the next week,
each of you is going to spend...

three hours a day in a wheelchair.

Oh, oh, oh.
And we're doing a wheelchair number.

- ?? On the floors of Tokyo ??
- Oh!

?? Or down in London town to go, go ??

?? With the record selection
and the mirror's reflection ??

?? I'm dancing with myself ??

?? When there's nothing to lose
and there's nothing to prove ??

?? I'll be dancing with myself ??

?? Oh, oh, oh, oh ????

I didn't even know we had a home ec room.

What's all this?

Ingredients for cupcakes...
for the stupid bake sale.

- What's this?
- It's what I had left over
from my pool cleaning money...

after I bought dip and nunchakus.

I was getting that
you kind of need money... for our kid.

For my kid.

Eighteen dollars.

How much has Finn given you?

Just stop.

I told you before.

I don't care if that baby
comes out with a Mohawk.

I will go to my grave
swearing it's Finn's.

It would be pretty awesome
if it came out with a Mohawk.

You are such an egghead.

I'm not.

That was perfectly measured!

There you go. Oh!

Come on. Oh!

What the hell?

We're baking.

I can see that.

I'm gonna go change.

Where's my jelly cream center?

Sorry, Dad.
I must've forgotten.

What's up with your brain today?

You know, I think it's goin' soft from
all that crap you put in your hair.

It's organic, and I'm fine.

I'm sorry. It's a Glee Club thing.

It's not about a guy, is it? Because I'm
not ready to have that conversation.

Well, at least you don't have to worry
about me getting someone pregnant.

It's not a guy. We're doing
this amazing song for sectionals...

a personal favorite of mine, and Mr. Schuester
won't give me a chance to sing it.

- Why?
- It's traditionally sung by a girl.

Well, you sing like a girl.
You know, in a good way.

Look, Kurt.

I don't know how this music stuff works.

I'm pretty exclusively committed
to my Mellencamp collection, but...

isn't there more crossover nowadays?

You know, chicks doin' construction?

Guys wearin' dress shoes with no socks?

Didn't that girl from your high school
just join the boys' wrestling team?

Yes! Whoo!

Yes, but her parents
had to sue the school.

This is really gettin' you down, isn't it?

I'm... full of ennui.

So it's... really getting you down?

Yes.

You can't discriminate
against my kid because of his sex...

religion, political affiliation...

or the fact that he's queer
as a three-dollar bill.

- And I won't accept it.
- This isn't academics or athletics, Mr. Hummel.

It's an arts program, and
Mr. Schuester's judgments are subjective.

You put on a blindfold
and listen to my kid sing...

and you will swear
you're hearing Ronnie Spector.

- Wait...
- Don't try to backpedal on this, Schuester.

I was just going to agree with you.

I know this is gonna
be hard on you, Rachel...

but I can't in good conscience preach
about the importance of helping Artie...

and then reject Kurt's request
out of hand.

So you're giving him my part?

Now, I can't just give him the part.
That would be just as wrong.

But I can let him audition.

What do you mean, like a tryout?
All right, that seems fair.

This is totally unfair.
You gave me the part.

And I will give it to you again if you
can sing the song better than Kurt.

Okay, this seems like a reasonable deal.

But how do I know
this isn't just some show...

to stop me from takin'
a flamethrower to this place?

Who's gonna judge?

Now, all of you are gonna judge.

And in the spirit of full access,
each of you is going to get a vote.

Whatever singer has
the most votes gets the part.

This isn't gonna be about talent, Mr. Schuester.
It's gonna be a popularity contest.

Stop right there.
Mr. Schue, if I may?

We all know I'm more popular than Rachel.

And I dress better than her.

But I want you all to promise me that you're
going to vote for whoever sings the song better.

Raise your right hand.

Your right hand, Brittany.

- It's this one.
- Sorry.

Repeat after me. I promise to vote
for whoever sings the song better.

I promise to vote
for whoever sings the song better.

Good luck.

It's on.

All right, guys.

Maybe one of these days,
you'll find a way...

to create teaching moments
without ruining my life.

Schue, I saw all your kids in their wheelchairs,
and I was very impressed.

Well, thank you, Principal Figgins.
But actually...

it's made me realize that there's only
one wheelchair entrance in this school...

and it's all the way in
the far end of campus.

McKinley needs ramps.

No way.
Those are what I call "lazy makers."

They discourage our
able-bodied students...

from getting their proper exercise
by using the stairs.

- What is she doing here?
- Yes. What am I doing here?

I have a Cheerios routine to polish
that's gonna clinch us nationals.

I brought you two in here
because both of you have a point.

Handicapped ramps are expensive,
but inspiration is free.

Will, I'm so inspired by your stunt...

that I'm insisting that Miss Sylvester
do the same with the Cheerios.

- I beg your pardon?
- Cheerios is not accessible, Sue.

It's by invitation only.

I want to see a squad that reflects
our community's diversity.

- Now, Glee Club held open auditions.
- And everyone got in.

Now that Quinn Fabray is off the squad...

you will hold open auditions
to fill her slot.

And Mr. Schuester will monitor them
to make sure that they're fair to all.

Okay, let me break this down for you here.

There comes a point when you've gotta
stop seeing people for what they look like...

and ask them to show you
what they can do.

And as soon as a cheerleader rolls herself
out onto the field in a wheelchair...

she becomes decidedly less effective
at cheering people up.

- It's just a fact.
- No, Sue.

The fact is, you've never given other students
the fair shake that they deserve.

I'm asking you to try it.
What do you have to lose?

Maybe somebody at the school
will surprise you.

Cupcake?

Cupcakes suck.
That's why we're not selling any.

It's not about the cupcakes.
It's about us.

Nobody wants to buy from losers.

We're in Glee Club and in wheelchairs.

She has a point.
Six months ago...

I could've sold
50 of these things on fear alone.

Oh, my God.
What is she doing?

I actually think they're kind of friends.

Brittany's always cheating
off her test papers in math class.

See so many?
And look how pretty they are, Becky.

Wow!

Brittany, you're supposed
to be in your wheelchair.

I lost it.

Are you a cheerleader?
It's so cool.

So is buying a cupcake.
That's really cool.

- But I don't have any money.
- That's okay. I have some.

Thank you.

Thanks.

So how much do we have now?

Well, with this one dollar,
we have one dollar.

This is ridiculous.

- Maybe if we put a jellybean on top, we'd sell more.
- Are you an idiot?

How am I supposed to trust you
to take care of our baby...

when you can't even figure out
how to sell a damn cupcake?

- Stop attacking me. I'm sick of it.
- Get a job.

I'm trying! Stupid wheelchair!

I don't know what I'm supposed
to be doing here.

You just call a name.
They come in and try out.

Just give 'em a chance
to express themselves.

I'm about to projectile express myself
all over your Hush Puppies.

McKinley! Hey, hey! McKinley!

- Hey, hey...
- No.

No.

You're not serious, are you?

Tell me you're not serious.

No!

No friggin' way, Jacob.

Freak!

Okay, I've been at this for an hour.
That's all I promised.

Sue, there's just one more person
on the list. Give her a shot.

- Becky Johnson.
- Jackson.

Jackson.

Be nice, Sue.

I heard that you do a routine
with jump ropes.

I wanted to show you what I could do.

Becky, I'm gonna stop you right there.

You're in. Be at practice tomorrow
at 4:00 p.m. Congratulations.

- What are you up to, Sue?
- I'm just following orders, Will.

I'm doing what I was told.
And I found myself a brand-new Cheerio.

You're up to something.

I don't like this, Sue.

I'm just saying, she has a point.
You are kind of an idiot.

Nice support, dude.
Whatever happened to "bros before ho's"?

You've got a baby on the way, bro,
and you haven't done spit to take care of it.

- Like you'd do any different?
- Damn straight.

How? Nobody's hiring.

Sell your Xbox. Rob a bank.

Go all Robin Hood on this joint.
Whatever it takes.

All I ever hear is you whining and crying about
how hard this is on you. What about her?

Dude, you are so out of line.
You don't know what I'm dealing with.

All I know is that you're a punk who doesn't
deserve to have Quinn as his girlfriend!

You're a punk!

Hey, hey!
Break it up! Break it up!

- Come on! Hey...
- He started it!

I don't care! Now.

You-You guys are best friends.
What the hell's goin' on?

I'm just really stressed
about the bake sale.

I really like Artie, okay?

You okay?

The key to a double turn
is to just go for it.

You push with the right wheel,
and pull as hard as you can with the left...

and find a spot on the wall
to spot you so you don't get dizzy.

Whoo!

Okay, guys. Uh, take five, all right?

Oh! Remember to show up
early on Thursday.

It's Rachel versus Kurt for the big solo.

Careful. Respect the chair.

I really admire you, Artie.

I had no idea how difficult this was.

It's just like you with your stutter.

You don't really
notice it after a while.

H-H-How did it happen?

You don't talk about it.

My mom and I got in a really bad
car accident when I was eight.

And she was fine,
but I've been in the chair ever since.

But I wanna be very clear.

I still have the use of my penis.

Oh, God.

Excuse me a second.

Hummel Tires and Lube.
Yep. Who's this?

Your son's a fag.

- Hey, Dad.
- What the hell is wrong with this machine?

I hit it... the high "F."

The magical note I need
for "Defying Gravity."

- I hit it. It means I'm gonna win.
- That's great.

Good for you. Just how long
until the damn coffee's ready?

What's going on?

I got a phone call this morning.
The anonymous kind.

It was some dude telling me
my son was a fag.

Oh. Well, that's not a big deal.
I get that all the time.

Yeah, but I don't.

Now, look, Kurt.

I try to do right by you.
You know, open some doors.

What father wouldn't do that for his kid?
And I know it's good for you...

to be out there with...
with all this Glee Club stuff.

I just... I don't want you to get hurt.

So you don't want me
to audition for the solo?

No, no.
Let me be clear, all right?

No one pushes the Hummels around,
especially cowards on the phone.

Sometimes, I just... I wish your mom
was still around, you know?

She was better at...

you know, handlin' this kind of thing.

You know, handlin' me.

Look, congrats on, uh...

you know, the cool "A" or the high "C"
or, you know, whatever it was.

- High "F."
- Yeah.

There's your problem.
You just had a bent push rim.

- Good as new.
- Thanks, Finn.

You're the only one
who was willing to help me.

- I'm really nervous about the "diva off" tomorrow.
- Don't be.

You know,
I don't wanna win out of charity.

I wanna win the solo
because it's right for the club.

I really think that
the judges at sectionals...

will find a female version
of"Defying Gravity" much more accessible.

But... I don't think that's gonna happen.

People just don't like me.

Yeah, you might wanna work on that.

I like you.

- We need to talk.
- I'll get out of your way.

Nope! You stay. I need a witness.
Do you know what this is?

Oh. It's just a "past due" notice.
My mom gets 'em all the time.

Right. But if this sonogram bill
doesn't get paid...

it's not your phone
that's gonna get cut off.

You will get cut off.

You need to help me with this, Finn...

or else we're gonna go our separate ways.

I'm screwed.

Not necessarily.

I know. I know.
I know, I know.

- Hey. Hey, guys. Hey, guys, this is amazing.
- Hi.

Puck found his Nana Connie's old recipe.
They're addictive. Do you want one?

No. No, thanks. I don't wanna take
one away from a paying customer.

- Yeah, I know. Sure.
- Hey, uh...

Nice work, buddy.

These are so good.

This isn't Nana Connie's old recipe.

She couldn't cook at all.
She was a diabetic.

So the only sweets
she had in her house was dried fruit.

I knew I had to do something
to help Quinn out with our baby.

I don't know what kind of stuff you need
for a baby that's still in your stomach.

Bottles, diapers...
That kind of thing, I guess.

But my baby mama was gonna get it all.

To make sure that happened,
I used the two things I know the most about...

lying and crime.

Is there a lot of pain, Noah?

The doctor said
the shark fractured my spinal cord.

This is why I don't go to the aquarium.

I'm going to give you as much as you want,
20 cents on the dollar.

I don't put in enough to get you hallucinatin' .

Just enough to give you
a wicked case of the munchies.

- That's why they keep coming back for more.
- Yeah.

See? I told you I'd make a great dad.

Faster. Harder!

Those better be tears of joy, Becky.

Faster! Harder!

Okay, stop.

Becky, this is terrible.

I've tried, Coach.
This is really hard.

You think this is hard?
Try auditioning for Baywatch...

and being told that they're going
in another direction.

That was hard.
Hit the showers.

Thanks, Coach.

Hi.

Sue, you are unbelievable.

And you are a terrible spy.

You might try breathing through
your nose sometime. If you were a sniper...

I'd have already radioed in your coordinates,
just like in the Falklands.

- I'm not gonna let you bully that girl, Sue.
- Oh, I bully everybody, Will.

- It's the way I roll.
- Yeah, but this is different.

She's not like everybody else.

I want you to listen
to what you just said, William.

You're asking me to treat this girl differently
because she has a disability...

when actually, it seems to me she just wants
to be treated like everybody else.

- Why are you doing this?
- Because I know you, and you're up to something.

You don't know the first thing about me.

Good luck. I'm rooting for you.

All right. Welcome to the Glee Club's
first official "diva off."

Let's get this party started!

?? Something has changed within me ??

?? Something is not the same ??

?? I'm through with playing by the rules ??

?? Of someone else's game ??

?? Too late for second-guessing ??

?? Too late to go back to sleep ??

?? It's time to trust my instincts ??

?? Close my eyes and leap ??

?? It's time to try ??

?? Defying gravity ??

?? I think I'll try ??

?? Defying gravity ??

?? Kiss me good-bye ??

?? I'm defying gravity ??

?? And you won't bring me down ??

?? I'm through accepting limits ??

?? 'Cause someone says they're so ??

?? There's some things I cannot change ??

?? But till I try
I'll never know ??

?? Too long I've been afraid ??

?? Of losing love I guess I've lost ??

?? Well, if that's love
it comes at much too high a cost ??

?? I'd sooner buy ??

?? Defying gravity ??

?? Kiss me good-bye ??

?? I'm defying gravity ??

?? I think I'll try ??

?? Defying gravity ??

?? And you won't bring me down ??

?? I'd sooner buy ??

?? Defying gravity ??

?? Kiss me good-bye ??

?? I'm defying gravity ??

?? I think I'll try ??

?? Defying gravity ??

?? And you won't bring me down ??

?? Bring me down ??

Good job, Kurt. Good job.

Hey, wait up.

I cracked open the piggy bank.
It's for you. Well, it's for "it."

"It" is a she.

Cool. I told you I wasn't a deadbeat.

Look, Puck,
this is really sweet, but...

I can get more.

People call me a screwup because...

I think school's for suckers.

But I got ambition.

Get us a house, some stuff, furniture.
We could be a family.

Finn is your best friend.

He'd be pissed for a while.

But then he'd realize he doesn't have to deal
with all this. He'd bake me a damn cake.

You stole from the cupcake fund.

No, I didn't.

Fine. I did.

I made all those cupcakes.

I'm all about being a team player,
but my family comes first.

I get it.
And... I'm sorry.

I should've never called you a Lima loser.
You're not.

You're special and romantic...

and a good enough person
to realize that...

we are not gonna take money
from a friend in a wheelchair.

Hey.

Here.

- What's this?
- I got a job.

Excuse me.

- Are you the manager?
- Yes.

You need to hire my friend Finn.
He is clearly "handicapable"...

and refusing to hire him
could be seen as discrimination.

My dads are gay.
And unless you want the full force...

of the American Civil Liberties Union
coming down on you...

I'd work something out.

Gonna need to stay in my wheelchair
as long as I'm working there.

But... screw it.
It's worth it.

Can I give you a lift to rehearsal?

1,200 bucks.
That's enough for the short bus...

and two cases of Natty light
for the ride home.

Ah. Dream on, brother.

I'm very proud of you guys.

Artie.

Why don't you bring this
to Principal Figgins yourself.

- All right, Artie.
- Go, Artie!

- What's wrong, dude?
- I really appreciate what you guys did for me.

But I'm not the only kid
in a wheelchair at this school.

And I'm sure there'll be others
after I graduate.

And I know how important it is for
all of us to go to sectionals together...

but I think I'd rather
just get a ride from my dad...

and use this for a handicap ramp
in the auditorium.

Any objections?

Well, it sure beats having
to carry him in every day.

You think she has a brain tumor?
That can cause erratic behavior.

All I know is that
she walked in unannounced...

and she wrote me a check
for three new handicap ramps.

I just don't get it.
I mean, first, putting Becky in Cheerios.

Now this.
What is her angle?

Why ask why? Just enjoy the fact
that you're getting your bus after all.

- How's she doing?
- Great.

She asks about you.
She's been watching you on TV.

I need to get here more often.

Oh, you get here plenty.

Jean?

Your little sister's here to see you.

- Hey, Sue!
- Hi, honey!

- My sister's famous!
- You got that right.

I got something for you.

What's this?

- Wow! A pom-pom. Thank you.
- That's for you.

- What do you feel like doing today?
- Can we read today?

- Look what I have.
- Little Red Riding Hood.

Right. Your favorite book.

Wanna start at the beginning?

- Yes.
- All right.

- You ready?
- Ready.

"Once upon a time...

"there was a little girl
who lived in the forest.

"Whenever she went out,
the little girl wore a red riding cloak.

So everyone in the village
called her Little Red Riding Hood."

- Right?
- Right.

- Oh, no! Oh, you're so much faster!
- You can't keep up.

I can't! This is so hard... No!

No, this wasn't fair.
You've had eight years of practice.

Excelling at wheelchair races
is about my only advantage.

It's like your stutter.
It's mostly just a big hassle.

This has been a really fun date.

But... I wanna get out of this chair.

Why?

So... I can do this.

I have to tell you something.

I've been faking it.

Faking what?

I don't have a stutter.

I pretended to have one
in sixth grade because...

I didn't wanna give a speech
on the Missouri Compromise.

I was really shy.

And it made people think I was weird,
so they left me alone.

And it wasn't until
I joined Glee Club that I realized...

how much I was missing.

I don't wanna
push people away anymore.

You understand what
that's like, don't you?

No. I don't.

I would never try to push people away...

'cause being in a chair
kind of does that for you.

I thought we had something
really important in common.

Wait. Artie, I'm sorry.

I am too.
I'm sorry now you get to be normal...

and I'm gonna be stuck in this chair
the rest of my life.

And that's not something I can fake.

Hey, Dad.

- What are you doing?
- I'm makin' biscuits.

What does it look like I'm doing?
How'd the tryout go?

They gave the part to Rachel.

I knew they were gonna rig it!

I'm goin' down to that school
and I'm talkin' to Schuester.

I blew the note.

I wanted to lose.

Kurt, I stuck my neck out for you,
and you go and you throw the game?

Dad.

I've known who I was since I was five.

I adapted.
Being different made me stronger.

At the end of the day, it's what's gonna
get me out of this cow town.

You never had to do that.

I can handle myself just fine.

No, you can't. Not about this.

That phone call yesterday
was just the beginning...

especially if I get up in front of
a thousand people to sing a girl's song.

When I saw you right after
you got the call...

and you were...
so hurt and so upset...

it just killed me.

I'm not saying I'm gonna
hide in the closet.

I'm-I'm proud of who I am.

I'm just saying that
I love you more than I love being a star.

You are your mother.

You know, she was always the strong one.
Look, uh...

you wanna help me
put a 195 on this bad boy?

Let me change into my coveralls.

This sweater's an Alexander McQueen.

?? Rollin' ??

?? Rollin' ??

?? Rollin' on a river ??

This one's for you, Artie!

- ?? Left a good job in the city ??
- ?? Down in the city ??

?? Workin' for the man
every night and day ??

?? And I never lost
one minute of sleepin' ??

?? I was worrying about the way
that things might have been ??

?? Big wheel keep on turnin' ??

?? Ooh, the proud Mary keep on burnin' ??

- ?? And we're rollin' ??
- ?? Rollin' ??

- ?? Rollin' , yeah ??
- ?? Rollin' ??

?? Rollin' on the river ??

?? Rollin' on the river ??

?? So I left a good job in the city ??

?? Workin' for the man
every night and day ??

?? And I never lost
one minute of sleepin' ??

?? Worryin' about the way
things might have been ??

- ?? Big wheel keep on turnin' ??
- ?? Turnin' ??

?? Proud Mary keep on burnin' ??

- ?? Burnin' ??
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- ?? Rollin' ??
- ?? Rollin' ??

- ?? Yeah ??
- ?? Rollin' on the river ??

?? Rollin' on the river ??

- ?? Rollin' ??
- ?? Rollin' ??

- ?? Rollin' ??
- ?? Yeah ??

?? Rollin' on the river ??

?? Yeah ??

- ?? If you come down to the river ??
- ?? Doo, doo, doo, doo ??

?? Bet you gonna find
some people who live ??

?? You don't have to worry
if you have the money ??

?? People on the river
are happy to give ??

- ?? Big wheel keep on turnin' ??
- ?? Oh, yeah ??

- ?? Proud Mary keep on burnin' ??
- ?? Burnin' ??

- ?? Rollin' , rollin' ??
- ?? Rollin' ??

- ?? Rollin' on the river ??
- ?? Rollin' on the river ??

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- ?? Rollin' ??

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- ?? Yeah ??

- ?? Rollin' on the river ??
- ?? Rollin' on the river ??

?? Yeah ??

?? Hey ??

?? Oh, yeah ????

- Oh, my God! How do you do it?
- Whoo!