Glee (2009–2015): Season 1, Episode 14 - Hell-O - full transcript

Fresh off their monumental win at Sectionals, New Directions is on top of the world. With an extra spring in their step, they get to work on new numbers for Regionals. But when Rachel and Finn's budding romance hits a bump in the road after she becomes involved with a competitor, Jesse St. James, it threatens to derail the entire club. Mr. Schuester pays a visit to Shelby Corcoran, coach of Vocal Adrenaline, to confirm Jesse's motives. Meanwhile, Will is newly single, but is he ready to take his relationship with Emma to the next level? And to top it all off, Sue Sylvester returns from her condo in Boca with a renewed focus on destroying Will and disbanding the glee club.

Here's what's happened on Glee if you
live in a cave or just got out of prison.

- Will took over the Glee Club.
At first they were terrible. - We suck.

But then they got kind of good. Quinn got pregnant
and said it was Finn's but it was Puck's.

- I'm done with you!
- And Will's wife, Terri, said she was pregnant.

- But she was just scared that Will liked Emma.
- I just left my wife.

- And then they kissed.
- I want you to be happy, Finn.

Rachel loves that she and Finn
are the Glee Club's new power couple.

But he seems weird about it. Sue tried
to throw sectionals, but they won anyway.

- Which is pretty exciting.
- This is a travesty of international proportions.

That's what you missed on Glee.

- [School Bell Rings]
- [Chattering]



- Hey, babe. Looking good.
- Feeling good, Mercedes.

This is amazing.
Ever since Glee Club won sectionals...

everybody looks at us differently.

- I wanna be with you, Rachel.
- We're glitterati.

- I feel like Lady Gaga.
- Get used to it, guys. We're stars now...

on par with all the jocks and popular kids.

It's the dawn of a new era
here at McKinley...

and we are gonna rule this school.

Ooh-hoo. Welcome to Loser Town.

Population: You.

But I don't understand. We won sectionals.

I've completely demonstrated
the validity of this program.

Now you're saying we have to place
at regionals or the Glee Club's gone?

Schue, that was the deal from the beginning.



I still have a bottom line. Those spotlights
in the auditorium don't run on dreams.

Our electricity consumption
is up two percent.

Besides, it's cold out, Schue...

and the Cheerios
can no longer practice out of doors.

They need the use of the auditorium as well.

But the Cheerios don't even have a coach.

[Sue]
Oh, yes, they do.

Hey, buddy, you get a haircut?
Looks awful.

- What are you doing here?
- I'm just dropping off a mocha for my maharishi.

I took the liberty
of making it a double whip.

Because after our conciliatory dinner...

I happen to know that there is nothing...

you won't eat whipped cream off of.

[Blowing]

Would've gotten you one, Will,
but I don't like you.

Okay.

Okay, what the hell is going on here?

You suspended her
after she leaked our set list to sectionals.

Yes, and the point of suspension
is reinstatement.

[Pushing Buttons]

[Crowd Cheering]

[Finn's Voice] In some ways,
I'm happy football season's over.

I did set the single-season record
for being sacked, but we only won one game.

So I'm hoping basketball
can be a fresh start.

The fact is, I'm kind of depressed.

Hey!

- Hey, Finn.
- Oh.

I made us his-and-her relationship calendars.

That way, we always know
what the other is up to...

so you can't say you forgot we had plans
when you miss our dates anymore.

Great. But I'm kind of allergic to cats, so...

I filled in all of our dates
for the next month.

On the sixth, we're going to see Phantom
at the Autistic Children's Center.

[Finn] I know I saved Glee Club,
and I guess chicks dig me...

but I guess if I'm being honest,
it's more like I'm not over her.

I'm not breaking up with you.
I'm just saying please stop super-sizing...

'cause I don't dig on fat chicks.

- I'm pregnant.
- And that's my fault?

- And Rachel-now that we're sort of dating...
- [Chattering, Indistinct]

I have to work so much harder
to pretend to be listening to her.

That sounds great.

Sometimes I wish I could be
more like Coach Tanaka.

He pulled a Jessica Simpson.
You know, lost his fianc?e...

gained 40 pounds and stopped showering.

And everyone acts like it's totally normal.

- [Whistle Blows]
- [Buzzer Sounds]

That's my boyfriend!

I'm off my game,
and I don't know how to get back on it.

[School Bell Rings]

There. You no longer confuse me
with your she-male looks.

I'm gonna donate this
to the victims of Hurricane Katrina.

They can use it
to plug the holes in their trailers.

Sue.

Please tell me how you managed
to pull off getting reinstated.

Well, William,
I realized back in my condo in Boca...

that I had indeed behaved poorly.

Riddled with remorse, I arranged a dinner...

so Figgins and I could have
a little professional sit-down.

Sue, there's no way
I'm letting you back into that school.

Mind flagging down that waiter?

We had a very frank and healing discussion.
And you know what, Will?

It was like he was seeing me
and my moral integrity for the very first time.

[Siren Blaring]

So here's what's gonna happen.
As of right now, I am reinstated.

Or I will tell your wife and the entire
congregation of the Cornerstone Bible Way Church...

of our sexual congress.

It's your choice.

Smile.

- Oh, God!
- Okay, look, Sue.

If you're back, let's bury the hatchet.

I won't be burying any hatchets, William...

unless I happen to get
a clear shot to your groin.

You humiliated me.

You did this to yourself, Sue.

- All I did was enjoy watching it happen.
- Yeah, well, enjoy this, William.

Now that I am back
and my position is secured...

I will not stop until you are fired...

and your little Glee Club
is annihilated into oblivion.

- Bring it.
- Oh, I will bring it, William.

You know what else I'm gonna bring?

I'm gonna bring some Asian cookery
to rub your head with.

'Cause right now, you got enough product
in your hair to season a wok.

[Sighs]

Hello.

- Hello?
- Hello.

- What do you guys say when you
answer the phone? - "What up?"

- "Who this be?"
- "No. She's dead. This is her son."

O-kay. Alexander Graham Bell,
inventor of the telephone...

liked to say "ahoy, ahoy"
when he answered the phone.

It was Edison who decided that "hello"
was a more appropriate greeting.

Look, I am really proud
of what you guys did at sectionals.

But as most of you have realized by now...

it hasn't made a bit of difference
in your day-to-day at school.

I have a Slushee-stained training bra
to prove it.

The fact is, we're gonna have to be better...

even more spectacular at regionals.

It's time for some reinvention,
some new New Directions.

We need a new... hello.

Here's your assignment for the week.

Come up with a fresh number, but it has
to have "hello" in the song title. All right?

[School Bell Rings]

- Hi.
- Hi.

- This is kind of weird, isn't it?
- Yes.

[Laughs] Here we are.

We've been in this exact situation
a hundred times.

Only this time...

I could just lean over
and kiss you if I want to.

- And I want to.
- No. Hold on.

- Hold on.
- I'm sorry.

I just need to clean up first,
so I'll be right back.

- Just hold on.
- No, no, no, no. Hey, Emma.

I don't care. We've kissed before.

Yeah, but you caught me
by a surprise sneak attack that time.

It was like a Pearly White Harbor.

- [Chuckles] - I'm sorry.
This is a completely unattractive quality.

You are adorable.

You're right too.

We need to clean up a little
before we charge forward.

Get the monkeys off our backs.
Let's do this right.

- We should go on a date.
- Okay.

Get to know each other as these
new people not tied down by anyone.

My place. I'll cook.

I didn't know you could cook.

There are so many things
you don't know about me...

and I can't wait
to introduce them all to you.

I'll see you later.

You two should be wetting yourselves
with shame.

Glee Club won sectionals...

and you did nothing to stop it.

If you were samurai and my letter opener
were sharp enough...

I would ask you both right now
to commit seppuku.

In Japanese,
this means ritual belly-slitting.

We were seduced
by the glitz and glamour of showbiz.

Let me drop some knowledge on you.

Ever since Quinn Fabray got knocked up...

I've been in the market
for a new head cheerleader.

If you want the job and back in my good
graces, you're gonna have to turn around...

and listen up.

You're familiar with a little Glee Clubber
named Rachel Berry.

Rachel's the kind of girl
who wants things too badly.

And what she really wants
is one Finn Hudson.

I want you to go after him.
She'll go crazy.

She won't be able to stand
you're dating him.

Humiliated, shamed...

she'll have no choice
but to leave the group.

And without her,
Schuester won't make it to regionals.

- [School Bell Rings] - [Will] I know
it's been hard on you since the baby drama.

- I get it, and it sucks.
- You seem to be handling it fine.

Well, that's because I realized that I had
to find this new person inside of me...

the one that was okay with what happened.

I just feel so bad about myself.

Finn, that guy who made
all those bad choices...

who ignored the signs, he's gone.

This new, more experienced,
more interesting guy is here.

And I brought you here to introduce you
to him, help you move forward.

Oh, you mean like meeting other girls?

Because I think I'm dating Rachel.
At least she sure thinks I am.

No, it's not about meeting someone else.

It's about being okay just being you.

You're a rock star, Finn.

You're likeJagger, Morrison.

- Yeah. Yeah, I like that.
- Good.

I want you to meet the new and improved
Finn Hudson... by singing about it.

- Oh, that's why the band's here.
- Yeah.

Pick a song,
and they're ready to back you up.

Well, I like what you said
about me being like Morrison.

And the doors have a "hello" song.

So maybe I could find myself
and do my Glee assignment at the same time.

All right, man, go to work.

##[Rock]

# Hello, I love you
Won't you tell me your name #

# Hello, I love you
Let me jump in your game #

# Hello, I love you
Won't you tell me your name #

# Hello, I love you
Let me jump in your game #

# She's walking down the street #

# Blind to every eye she meets #

# Do you think you'll be the guy #

# To make the queen of the angels sigh #

# Hello, I love you
Won't you tell me your name #

# Hello, I love you
Let me jump in your game #

# Hello, I love you
Won't you tell me your name #

#Hello, I love you
Let me jump in your game #

# Sidewalk crouches at her feet #

# Like a dog that begs
for something sweet #

# Do you hope to make her see you, fool #

# Do you hope to pluck this dusky jewel #

# Hello #

# Hello #

# Hello #

# Hello #

# I want you #

# I need my baby #

#Hello #

# Hello ##

- [Applause]
- Whool

Yeah!

And that, fellow Glee Clubbers,
is how we say hello.

- [School Bell Rings]
- Mr. Schuester, I'd like to run...

some of my "hello"ideas by you.

You're a really good dancer.

Thanks, but my feet weren't really moving.

- That was the best part.
- Oh.

Britt and I were wondering
if you wanted to go out.

On a... date? With which one of you?

[Both] With both of us.

[School Bell Rings]

Breadstix, 8:00. Table for three?

- Cool.
- [Giggles]

What did they want?

Oh, nothing. Just the time.

I know being my boyfriend is a challenge.

I'm not Quinn.
I don't look like her. I'm not popular.

And my personality,
though exciting and full of surprises...

isn't exactly low-maintenance, but...

I'll always be honest with you,
painfully so.

And all I ask in return
is that you're just honest with me.

I don't think I wanna be your boyfriend.

What?

Rachel, you're really awesome...

but I think I need to connect
with my inner rock star...

before I can fully commit to one woman.

I need to find out who I am now.

I'll tell you who you are.

You're a scared little boy.

You're afraid of dating me because you think
it might hurt your reputation...

though, which you'd never admit it,
is very important to you.

You hate what Quinn did to you,
not just because it hurt...

- but because it was so humiliating.
- You're freaking me out.

- It's like you're inside my head right now.
- I just see you for who you are...

unlike you who can only see me...

as this silly girl who made a fool out
of herself in her first Glee Club rehearsal.

And that's where you lose, Finn...

because if you take a second look at me...

you'd realize that I'm the only person
in your life who knows you...

and accepts you for who you are,
no matter what.

[School Bell Rings]

[Finn] Well, obviously,
Hawaiian pizza's the best...

- because it's got ham and pineapple on it.
- Mm-hmm.

- Right?
- Oh, God. Wow.

- [Finn] So it's better than most pizzas.
- [Will] All right, guys.

We gotta get moving on those "hello"numbers.

Who has got something to show us?
Volunteers?

Mr. Schuester, I think I found a song...

that sums up my feelings perfectly.

Fantastic, Rachel. Show us what you got.

## [Pop]

# I wake up every evening #

#With a big smile on my face #

#And it never feels out of place #

#When you see my face
hope it gives you hell #

# Hope it gives you hell #

#Now, where's your picket fence, love #

#And where's that shiny car #

#And did it ever get you far #

#You never seemed so tense, love #

#I've never seen you fall so hard #

# Do you know where you are #

#And truth be told I miss you #

#And truth be told I'm lying #

#When you see my face
hope it gives you hell #

# Hope it gives you hell #

#When you walk my way
hope it gives you hell #

# Hope it gives you hell #

# If you find a man that's worth a damn
and treats you well #

#Treats you well #

#Then he's a fool
You're just as well #

# Hope it gives you hell #

# Now, you'll never see #

# What you've done to me #

#You can take back your memories #

#They're no good to me #

#And here's all your lies #

#You can look me in the eyes #

#With that sad, sad look
that you wear so well #

# When you see my face hope it gives
you hell Hope it gives you hell #

#When you walk my way
hope it gives you hell #

# Hope it gives you hell #

# If you find a man that's worth a damn
and treats you well #

- #Treats you well #
- #Then he's a fool #

#You're just as well
Hope it gives you hell #

#When you see my face
hope it gives you hell #

# Hope it gives you hell #

#When you walk my way
hope it gives you hell #

# Hope it gives you hell #

#When you hear this song and sing along #

#Well, you'll never tell #

# 'Cause then you're a fool
I'm just as well #

# Hope it gives you hell #

#When you hear this song
I hope that it will give you hell #

# You can sing along
I hope that it will treat you well ##

[Will] Guys. Guys, guys.
I don't wanna be a buzz-kill...

but the assignment was "hello."

I'm sorry.
I was just focusing on the first syllable.

I don't think you guys understand the
seriousness of what we're up against.

While we were busy winning our sectional...

Vocal Adrenaline was busy winning theirs.

They're last year's national champions.

They haven't lost a competition
in three years.

This is the big leagues, guys.

Huh. If we don't place at regionals...

Glee Club is over.

Lionel Richie, huh? One of my favorites.

Oh, my God. You'reJesse St. James.
You're in Vocal Adrenaline.

And you're Rachel Berry.
I saw you perform at sectionals.

Your rendition of"Don't Rain on My Parade"
was flawed.

You totally lacked Barbra's emotional depth.

But you're talented.

This is one of my favorite haunts.

I like to come and flip through
the celebrity biographies...

pick up some lifestyle tips.

I'm a senior now,
so this year's kind of my victory lap.

Snagging a fourth consecutive
national championship would just be gravy.

I'm getting out of Ohio soon.

I've got a full ride to a little school called
the University of California, Los Angeles.

Maybe you've heard of it.
It's in Los Angeles.

What do you say we take her for a spin?

Here? Uh, no. L-I'm kind of nervous.

[Sighs] I remember
when I used to get nervous.

Come on. I do this all the time.

I like to give impromptu concerts
for the homeless.

It's so important to give back.

## [Begins]

# I've been alone with you inside my mind #

#And in my dreams #

# I've kissed your lips #

#A thousand times #

# I sometimes see you
pass outside my door #

# Hello #

# Is it me you're looking for #

# I can see it in your eyes #

# I can see it in your smile #

#You're all I've ever wanted #

#And my arms are open wide #

# 'Cause you know just what to say #

#And you know just what to do #

#And I want to tell you so much #

# I love you #

# Oh, yeah #

# I long to see the sunlight in your hair #

#And tell you time and time again #

# How much I care #

# Sometimes I feel my heart will overflow #

# Hello #

# I've just got to let you know #

# 'Cause I wonder where you are #

#And I wonder what you do #

#Wonder what you do #

- #Are you somewhere feeling lonely #
- # Feeling lonely #

# Or is someone loving you #

#Tell me how to win your heart #

# For I haven't got a clue #

# But let me start by saying #

# I love you ##

## [Ends]

## [Ends]

We should do this more often.

How's Friday night?

[Bell Dings]

- Excuse me. We'd like to send these back.
- But you ate all of it.

Look, I'm pretty sure
you have to do what we say...

and this food was not satisfactory.

- There was a mouse in mine.
- So we'd like more, please.

All right.
Hottest guys in the school. Go.

- Okay, um, Puck's super fine.
- Mm-hmm.

- Finn's cute too.
- Yeah, but he's not hot though.

- He really isn't.
- And you know what, Britt?

I think that dwarf girlfriend of his
is dragging down his rep.

If he were dating, say,
popular pretty girls like us...

he would go from dumpy to smokin'.

Hello. Hey. I'm right here.

Would you guys mind, like,
including me in your conversations?

Let us give you an introduction
into the way that we work.

You buy us dinner, and we make out
in front of you. It's like the best deal ever.

[Brittany]
Did you see what Rachel was wearing today?

I know. She looked like Pippi Longstocking,
but like, Israeli.

- Those sweaters make her look homeschooled.
- [Laughing]

Hey, guys, come on. Don't make fun of Rachel.
She's... kind of cool.

- Finn, that's mean.
- You know what, actually?

Would you mind waiting in the car?
And leave your credit card.

Did you know that dolphins
are just gay sharks?

Yeah.

[Neil Diamond]
#Hello again #

#Hello #

[Will Singing Along]
#Just called to say hello #

# I couldn't sleep #

#At all tonight #

#And I know it's late #

# But I couldn't wait #

This is the perfect song for us.

He's known this girl for so long,
but they've just been friends...

and now he's calling her up
to tell her he wants more.

I was sort of inspired
by my "hello" assignment with the kids.

- Well, I love it.
- Yeah?

- I love it.
- You do?

Oh!

I don't know why, but...
I always had a soft spot for this song.

#And you're there at home #

#Hello #

#Maybe it's been crazy #

#And maybe I'm to blame #

#But I put my heart above my head #

- Too much too fast.
- You smell great. Your teeth are clean.

You're very sweet. It's not that. I'm...

I just haven't been, uh, intimate...

in a very, very long time.

[Chuckles] How long?

Ever.

#My friend, hello #

I just haven't found the right person.

Someone who won't reject me
when things are really hard...

with my, um-with my problems.

- It- It's cool.
- It's not.

- It's not cool. I can tell.
- No, no, no. Emma.

I understand.

I'll pop in a movie.

Do we have to watch Armageddon again?

Uh, it's that or Bad Boys.

They're the only DVDs
that Terri left behind.

She liked to have Bruckheimer night
every other week.

- Okay.
- [Laughs]

[Neil Diamond]
#But I couldn't wait #

- [TV: Explosions, Gunfire]
- #Hello ##

Hey, Rach, can we talk?

Look, I wanna apologize.

I realize I don't wanna date other girls,
only you.

You do talk too much,
and you usually just talk about yourself.

But at least I don't feel alone
when I'm with you.

I'm glad you've come to that realization,
but you're too late.

I've met someone else- a boy
who's finally worthy of my talent and love.

Whoa, whoa, wait.

Do I know him? What, is he bigger than me?

He doesn't go to this school,
and he's a senior.

His name is Jesse,
and he's the male lead in Vocal Adrenaline.

We're both aware that our Romeo-and-Juliet
romance will be a challenge...

but our deep respect for each other's talent
will carry us through.

Rachel, don't you think
that's kind of suspicious?

We make it to regionals, and suddenly the
top guy in our main competition picks you up?

I know it's hard to believe that anyone
would like me without an ulterior motive...

but you have to respect
that our love is real.

Move on, Finn. I finally have.

Mr. Schue. We have a problem.

- Finn didn't fall for any of our tricks.
- Such as?

I didn't wear a bra,
and I had them turn up the air conditioning.

Ladies, I misjudged you.

You may be two of the stupidest teens
I've ever encountered.

And that's saying something. I once taught
a cheerleading seminar to a young Sarah Palin.

Wait. We did find out Rachel's
with some dude from Vocal Adrenaline.

- Name?
- Jesse St. James.

Ohh. Bringing down this club
may be easier than I thought.

I'm engorged with venom and triumph.

Now get the hell out of my office.

##[Rock]

# Livin' easy Livin' free #

#A season ticket on a one-way ride #

# Goin' down, party town #

# My friends are gonna be there too #

- # I'm on a highway to hell #
- # I'm on a highway #

- # Highway to hell #
- # I'm on a highway to hell #

# I'm on a highway to hell #

- # I'm on it, I'm on it #
- # Highway to hell #

# Don't stop me #

# Oh, yeah ##

Stop, please. Dear God, just stop.

Seriously, guys,
it's like watching beige paint dry.

Could everyone please look atJesse?
Jesse, give us a show face.

That's a show face, guys. You wanna look
so talented it's literally hurting you.

I want a look that's so optimistic,
it could cure cancer.

That's what I'm talking about.
Take five, everybody. Drink a Red Bull.

Uh, excuse me.
Ms. Corcoran? Hi. I'm Will Schuester.

I'm sorry. I don't know who you are.

I'm a big fan, really.
I also coach the McKinley Glee Club.

I don't usually cotton too well to my
competition sneaking in to watch a rehearsal.

But I also have trouble
seeing you guys as competition.

I believe you have a student
named Jesse St. James?

Yeah, I think he might be dating
one of my students.

I'm more than a little concerned...

with the whole fraternizing
with the enemy aspect of their relationship.

You think we're spying on you?

Honestly? Yes.

Noted. Look,
I don't stand for any funny business...

and Jesse's a good kid.

What can you do?
The heart wants what the heart wants.

Sometimes there's that little spark.

I'm not interested in coaching
just your average high school Glee Club.

- I'm driven to excellence.
- Yeah, excellence.

A lot of people thought
I couldn't take nationals...

with a routine where the kids dance
entirely on their hands.

[Panting]

Okay. Oh, no. I'm sorry.

We have to stop. L...

I just can't do this.

Aw, I'm sorry. I'm all business.
I'm trying to work on that.

No, it isn't that.

- Are you gay?
- What? No.

Because most of the show choir directors
I make out with are gay.

I spend every waking moment
thinking about Vocal Adrenaline.

I have no life.
I haven't been on a date in three years.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

I did lie to you earlier.

I do know who you are.
I saw you at our fall invitational.

- I thought you were really cute.
- [Chuckles]

I know what you mean
about being obsessed with work.

I'm so committed to the Glee Club...

and I think it played a big part
in ending my marriage.

How long have you been divorced?

Um, well, I'm not really divorced yet.

And then l-I started dating someone
l- I really care about...

but it isn't working for some reason.

Oh, you're already seeing someone else
and you were just making out with me.

I'm kind of a mess.

- Look, I don't wanna tell you how to live your life.
- Please, be my guest.

I think you need to take some time
to reintroduce yourself to yourself.

You just finished being somebody's husband,
and that didn't really work out.

And now you're running off
to be somebody's boyfriend?

Seems to me you need
to take a little breather.

Look...

that hair, that dimple,
that terrible clunker you drive...

I think you're about the cutest thing
I've ever seen.

Here's my number.

When you get things sorted out,
give me a call.

Thank you for the coffee.
And the making out? It's kind of hot.

- [School Bell Rings]
- Hey, guys.

Cut the butter, Benedict Arnold.
We heard about your new boyfriend.

Look, Rachel,
we're all happy that you're happy.

But we've worked too hard in Glee Club...

to let you throw it all away on
a relationship that might not even be real.

Why, 'cause he's in Vocal Adrenaline?

Their motto is "A ut neca aut necatus eris"...

which loosely translates
to "murder or be murdered."

They give their dancers
human growth hormone.

- We're not saying the dude is playing you.
- He's playing you.

We just think that until regionals are over...

we can't risk the possibility that he is.

None of us wanna go through
what happened at sectionals again.

Okay, look, Jesse and I might
not be true love, but what if we are?

I know who I am.

And how many chances at this
am I gonna get?

If you don't break up with him, you're out.

But you can't kick me out.

But we can all quit if Mr. Schue doesn't.

Well, good luck winning without me.

Everyone is replaceable, even you.

- How could you do this to me?
- How could you do this to us?

We're a team, and all you've ever wanted
was for us to be great...

and be a part of something special.

Now, is that still true or not?

[School Bell Rings]

[School Bell Rings]

You wanted to see me, Coach Sylvester?

I did, Rachel. I wanna introduce you
to the Mckinley High Old Maids Club.

Have a seat, boy hips.

- I don't understand.
- Well, Rachel, it's come to my attention...

you've been given the old heave-ho
by that terribly uncoordinated Finn Hudson.

- Ouch. - And I also understand
you have a serious suitor...

in the form of a piping hot hunk wad
from another district...

but that your fellow Glee Clubbers
are so incensed with betrayal...

they barely have time to apply Freeze Off...

- to the clusters of warts between their knuckles.
- How did you know that?

Britt and I told everybody in Glee Club
aboutJesse St. James. They're furious.

- Lf Rachel falls for him, the club will self-destruct.
- Outstanding. On to step two...

round up a bunch of mustache-sporting
teenage girls with glandular conditions.

- Anything else?
- Sometimes I forget my middle name.

I know how torn you must be, Berry.

My freshman year, I fell for a boy
on an opposing wrestling squad...

but my team wouldn't go for it.

So the next time I stepped onto the mat,
I pinned him so hard...

it ruptured his scrotum,
ending his run for the state championship...

and my run for his heart.

To my team, I was a legend.

But I relished this victory in solitude.

Now I spend my Friday nights making out
with my cat and watching Ghost Whisperer.

Well, Rachel, if I weren't ignoring
what these ladies were saying...

out of an overwhelming sense
of deep repulsion...

I would probably hear them encouraging you
to go for it with your Carmel High beau.

Or you might end up like Dottie here...

who, although her father offered
a sizable dowry, which included livestock...

still couldn't get a date to homecoming.

- No homecoming?
- No Valentine's, no sock hop.

Rachel, you need to become
even more narcissistic...

and self-centered than you already are.

Think of yourself, your potential happiness.

If not...

join the club.

[Door Opens, Closes]

Beautiful table. Meticulous, really.

I guess being crazy has its benefits.

It's date night.

Actually, it was tomorrow,
but Will wanted tonight, so I'm surprising him.

And I know he keeps a key under the mat.

You're really loving this, aren't you?

I take no pleasure in your pain, Terri.

But I am enjoying seeing Will
get a second chance at happiness, yes.

Oh, and you're the one to introduce him
to this magical new world of bliss?

What, you with your
three-times-a-day showers...

and the fact that you can't sleep
unless your shoes are all in a row?

Is there a reason that you're here?

'Cause I'd kind of like you
to be gone when Will gets home.

I just need to pick up
the rest of my Bruckheimer DVDs.

Whose is this?

That's mine. I got really tired of watching
Con Air every night.

And Will picked "Hello" as our song.

Oh, you poor girl.

Don't bother sleeping
with my husband tonight.

You're already screwed.
"Hello"was our prom song.

I doubt Will remembers.

He goes to the market for milk,
comes home with a pack of gum.

You're lying.

Ask him.

Or better yet, go to the library...

and look it up for yourself
in that year's Thunderclap.

Sorry.

Jesse?

Who's there?

- I carry a rape whistle!
- Just me.

- [Sighs]
- Most spots are 2,500 watts.

This one is 10 times brighter.

We have to wear sunscreen on stage,
but it's worth it.

- I guess everything is bigger and brighter here.
- [Laughs]

I have to ask you something...

and I need you to tell me the truth,
because if you don't...

there will be consequences-
life-and-death consequences.

Because if I give myself to you
and it turns out that you're just playing me...

I might die.

Not literally, but emotionally.

It'll be the kind of heartbreak that girls
like me hold for the rest of their lives...

- like Barbra in The Way We Were.
- [Chuckles] Oh, my God.

- What?
- You're more of a drama queen than I am.

Hi. I'm Jesse.

I know who you are.

You know Jesse St. James, the star of Vocal
Adrenaline, your competition at regionals.

I wanna introduce you toJesse...

the guy who's nuts about you...

the guy who would never hurt you.

No one can know.

I understand.

- [School Bell Rings]
- Hi.

Hey.

I get home last night...

and it was like some ghost had laid out
this beautiful, romantic meal for me...

- a ghost who wears your perfume.
- I was just in the library.

Page 42.

Okay.

Oh, my- my junior prom.

I wanted to surprise you on Wednesday.

Terri came by and, um, told me
about the prom, about the song.

Emma, I have no feelings
about this night anymore.

- I didn't even remember the song.
- I know, not consciously.

But somewhere inside,
you're still not over her.

We were naive.

I think sometimes we spend so much time
with these kids that we start acting like them.

You've been in the same relationship
your entire life.

You don't know who you are alone.

I think this song is just the beginning
of you repeating the same patterns.

Terri and I met when I was 15.
I'm a different person now.

How is you compromising yourself
for my crazy...

any different than you doing it for hers?

Well, what do you wanna do?

I think that...

you need to spend some time alone.

I do. I think you need
to get to know yourself.

You haven't been okay
with having your own needs since you were 15.

You're right.

I guess I'm just not good at being alone...

and realizing what my own needs are.

Well, maybe around the time
that you figure out what they are...

maybe I'll be ready to get a little messy.

Can you go now?

I think I need to close the door and cry.
[Laughs, Clears Throat]

- [Cries]
- [School Bell Rings]

Hey. I ended it with Jesse.

You can spread the word.
I know you know how to do that.

Look, I'm sorry. Uh...

I know this really sucks for you,
but I think it's for the best.

- Taking one for the team. I get it.
- No, not just for the team.

For us. You and me.

I've been thinking a lot lately.
I feel like I have all these problems...

you know, with Quinn and basketball
and girls and stuff...

and I've been so overwhelmed
trying to figure them all out.

Then I realized the only thing
I needed to fix was us.

I want us to be together, Rachel,
a real couple.

Look. I even circled some dates
on your crazy calendar.

Is you not being able to talk right now
a good thing or a bad thing?

- I can't.
- Can't what?

L- I can't be a couple with you.

It's the team.

We-We can't have
any, um, drama right now.

You know, we need-
we need to focus on regionals.

And I appreciate your offer...

but in the spirit of being a team player,
I have to decline.

Hey, whoa.
[Chuckles]

I'm not just some guy you met
at the music store that you can just blow off.

I don't give up that easy.

See you in rehearsal.

#You say yes #

# I say no #

[Both] #You say stop #

# I say go, go, go #

# Oh, no #

#You say good-bye #

#And I say hello #

# Hello, hello #

# I don't know why you say good-bye
I say hello #

# Hello Hello, hello #

# I don't know why you say good-bye
I say hello #

- #You say yes #
- # I say yes #

- # I say no #
- #Maybe no #

# You say stop
I say go, go, go #

# Oh, no #

#You say good-bye and I say hello #

# Hello, hello #

# I don't know why you say good-bye
I say hello #

# Hello Hello, hello #

# Hello #

# I don't know why you say good-bye
I say hello #

- # Hello #
- # Hello, hello #

#I don't know why you say good-bye
I say hello #

#Hello Hello #

# Hello ##

##[Vocalizing]

##[Harmonic Vocalizing]

##[Ends]

ENGLISH - US - SDH