Glee (2009–2015): Season 1, Episode 11 - Hairography - full transcript

Concerned that Sue is up to no good, Will pays a visit to an instructor of a competing Glee Club to see what information Sue may be leaking, which leads to the club getting a look at their hair-rising competition. Meanwhile, Kurt gives Rachel a makeover to impress Finn, but he may have ulterior motives.

So here's what you missed last week.

And that's what you missed...
on Glee.

Hey, fella.

So unless my recent write-up
here in splits magazine

naming me cheerleading coach of the decade
has me driven completely insane,

I'm pretty sure you and I had an agreement
that you were going to show me

your Glee Club set list for sectionals.

Sorry, Sue.

I didn't think you were all that
interested in Glee Club anymore.

Not interested?

Well, I'm the fine arts
administrator or something.



Um...
Well, I will make sure you get a copy.

That'd be fantastic.

I'd hate to have to go
to Figgins about this.

-Hey, Will.
-Yes?

I'd like my magazine back, please.

Thank you.

Here's the problem with Sue Sylvester:

You never quite know where you stand.

I knew she was up to something.

Five, six, seven, eight.

Step ball change,
step, step,

Unh and seven, eight.

Step ball change,
step, step, unh,

You guys go.
Step ball...



Brittany?

Coach Sylvester
didn't tell me to do this.

It kept getting worse.

Hey there, pal.

Would you remind me once again
the names of the schools

you'll be competing
against at sectionals?

Jane Addams Academy
and Haverbrook School for the Deaf.

Got it.
What are their zip codes?

She's leaking our competitive
set list to the other schools.

If the other Glee Clubs
get set lists and videos,

they'll know exactly
how to beat us at sectionals.

Well first, don't let
Sue distract you, all right?

And if you can't take
Mohammad to the mountain,

then you got to get Mohammad
to bring the mountain

down to his house.

Mohammad's house,
wherever he's staying.

-I don't understand.
-Look, you should drive

over to Jane Addams Academy

and ask the director point-blank.

If something's going on, you'll know.

Hmm.

-All right.
-Oh, thanks.

You're a good kid, Aphasia.

Why did you try to rob a bank?

Because, ms. Hitchens,

that's where they keep the money.

-Go back to class.
-Uh, hi, ms. Hitchens.

I'm Will Schuester
from Mckinley High.

Aphasia! Give mr. Schuester
his wallet back.

Wow, she's...
She's good.

Um...

Thank you.
Thank you for seeing me.

We don't get a lot of other
educators paying us visits.

Right. Um...

Well, the reason I'm here

is...
A little weird.

So I guess the best thing for me to do
is just come right out with it.

I think our cheerleading coach has been
passing along our set list for sectionals to you.

What kind of messed up school
are you people running?

You think that because our students are thieves
and arsonists, that we're cheaters, too.

No, no, no, no, I...

It's not that you,
it's, it's Sue.

Do you know that
we don't have costumes?

Or even an auditorium?

Our show choir has to practice
out in the rec yard.

This is Ohio.
We have weather.

You don't have to tell me about
underfunding for the arts.

Look, all I know is
that our choir seems to be

the only thing that keeps
my girls from recidivism.

It makes them feel good
about themselves.

I'm not going to cheat
and risk that

just so we can get a leg up
on your school of privileged misfits.

Especially from what I hear.

We're probably
going to take you anyway.

Really?
And who'd you hear that from?

I had my spies at your invitational.

Want some coffee?

Please.

I'm, I'm really sorry.

I didn't mean to offend you.

Let me make it up to you.

You guys don't have an auditorium,
come use ours.

Yeah, let's have a little, uh,
scrimmage at our place.

Okay, guys, so first of all

I want to welcome ms. Hitchens
and the Jane Addams Glee Club.

We're all very happy
to have you guys here.

So, um, we're going to let
you guys start us off.

Let's see what you got.

Hit it.

* Jayelle,
can you handle this? *

* Shadonda, *

* can you handle this? *

* Aphasia,
can you handle this? *

* I don't think
they can handle this *

* Better move
'cause we've arrived *

* Lookin' sexy,
lookin' fly *

* Baddest chicks,
chicks inside *

* Deejay, jam tonight *

* Spotted me,
a tender thang *

* There you are,
come on, baby *

* Don't you wanna
dance with me? *

* Can you handle,
handle me? *

* Lookin' hot,
smellin' good *

* Groovin' like
I'm from the hood *

* Over my shoulder
I'll blow you a kiss *

* Can you handle,
handle this? *

* I don't think you're ready
for this jelly *

* I don't think
you're ready for this jelly *

* I don't think you're ready
for this *

* 'Cause my body's too
bootylicious for you, babe *

* I don't think you're ready
for this jelly *

* I don't think
you're ready for this jelly *

* I don't think you're ready
for this *

* 'Cause my body's too
bootylicious for you, babe *

* Move your body up and down *
* ooh *

* Make your booty
touch the ground *

* Ooh *
* I can't help but wonder why *

* Is my vibe too vibe-alicious
for you, babe? *

* I shake my jelly
at every chance *

* When I whip with my hips
you slip into a trance *

* I'm hoping you can handle
all this jelly that I have *

* Now let's cut a rug
while we scat some jazz *

* I don't think you're ready
for this jelly *

* I don't think
you're ready for this jelly *

* I don't think you're ready for this,
'cause my body's *

* Too bootylicious for you, babe *

* I don't think you're ready
for this jelly *

* I don't think
you're ready for this jelly *

* I don't think you're ready
for this 'cause my *

* Body's too bootylicious
for you, babe *

* I don't think you're ready *

* For this jelly I don't think
you're ready *

* For this jelly
I don't think you're ready *

* For this 'cause my body's too
bootylicious for you, babe. *

Yeah.

Mr. Shue, you seem concerned.

What? No.

I mean, they were great,
but we're just as good.

Mr. Shue, if I may.

What they were doing
was just all smoke and mirrors.

It's called "hairography."

-What?
-Hairography.

All the whizzing of
their hair around

just to distract from the fact
that they're not really good dancers.

And their vocals were just so-so.

Trust me.

We've nothing to be afraid of.

All right, guys.

I did some thinking last night.

I think I found our new
number for sectionals.

We're going to do the title song
from Hair.

Now, this show started a revolution.

Wait, did they have mohawks back then?
Like in the 20's or whatever?

Yeah, mr. Shue, if we're going to do
a song about hair,

shouldn't we have more hair?

One step ahead of you.

Here are your wigs.

-Mr. Schuester?
-Yeah?

What are you doing?

We are fine where we are.

We don't need hairography.

It's just a distraction.

Look, I have to be honest.

Those Jane Addams girls
did freak me out a little.

And I'm worried about
our chances for sectionals.

I mean, we have to pull out all
the stops if we want to win.

Looking great, guys!

Saw it in a bookstore.

Figured I'd steal it for you.

You know, in case
you change your mind

and decide you want to keep it.

That is so sweet.

To be honest,

I really don't know what I'm
going to do about it anymore.

My mind's pretty messed up
about everything.

Well, whatever you decide.

No pressure.

Okay.

Thank God for Puck.

Thanks to him,
I'm starting to realize

That what I need right now,
even more than looser pants,

is acceptance.

Everyone is putting
so much pressure on me.

It's so easy for them
to be distracted.

I don't have that luxury.

I am under siege.

You don't drink diet soda, do you?

Because the phosphoric acid
causes male pattern baldness.

The baby's a girl.

Women go bald, too.

You worry too much, Terri.

Mom smoked and drank
a bottle of riuniti on ice

every night when she
was pregnant with us

and we're totally normal.

Just take your vitamins,
stay out of the hot tub,

and avoid rum-based drinks,
and you'll be fine.

Maybe the problem isn't that
I don't want to keep the baby.

The problem is that

I don't want to keep
the baby with Finn.

Maybe I didn't give Puck
enough of a chance.

He is the real dad, after all.

Finn would freak if I started
spending time with Puck though.

I need to distract him
so that I can take Puck for a test drive.

But how?

Mm, forget about it.
She looks like a five year old.

Still,
maybe with a little bit of makeup...

Hey, Kurt, can I pick your
pink brain for a second?

Why hello, Quinn.

To what do I owe the honor?

I do believe this is the first time
you've ever spoken to me.

I'm sorry about that.

Anyways, I have a
proposition to make:

-A makeover.
-I'm in!

-Makeovers are like crack to me.
-Uh-huh.

My suggestion...
Spanx.

Or a double-knit camisole

with a control top
for the baby bump.

Also, babydoll dresses--
Dead giveaway.

Not for me,
for Rachel.

Why would I want to do that?

I admit I like a challenge
as much as the next guy, but...

Rachel somehow manages to dress like
a grandmother and a toddler at the same time.

My point exactly.

You're as concerned about the Glee Club
succeeding as I am, and she's a distraction.

Look at her.
She's wearing a pantsuit.

Don't you think the judges
are going to take one look at her

and maybe want to knock
her down a peg or two?

And to think...
I thought you were a dumb blonde.

Deal.

-Good night.
-Good night.

What are you doing?!

-I'm trying to be intimate with my wife.
-No, you're trying to have sex.

-Wh...
-Not intimacy.

If you wanted intimacy, you...

You would ask me how I'm feeling
about being pregnant.

You're right.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

It will all be worth it
when she shows up, right?

Yeah. Of course.

-Love you.
-Love you.

There's no way I can keep this up.

He's gonna catch on.

I miss him, too, though.

I do want to have
a family with him.

I only ever started
lying about all of this

to give us a chance.

I just need to buy myself
some more time.

I've got to distract
him with something.

But what?

Ow.

The key is to never wax
above the eyebrow.

Always shape from below.

Trust me,
I get a lot of practice.

Look at mine.

Kurt, why did you volunteer
to give me a new look?

One, I'm a sucker
for makeovers,

and two, you need something to distract
from your horrible personality.

Most of the time, I find it hard
to be in the same room with you.

Especially this one.

Which looks like where Strawberry shortcake
and holly hobbie come to hook up.

You're extremely talented, Rachel.

Watching you perform is...
Amazing.

But sometimes it's
hard to appreciate

what a good singer you are
because all I'm thinking about

is shoving a sock into your mouth.

Well, what kind of makeover
did you have in mind?

We need to broaden your appeal.

I want every boy at school to do
a double take when you strut past.

There's really only just...

One boy that I'd
like to impress.

Can you keep a secret?

Of course.

I'm in love with Finn.

Really?

I understand completely.

Let's move on to makeup.

I happen to know for a fact
that Finn is attracted to loose women.

-What?
-Quinn is so wholesome.

Let me put this into
musical theater parlance.

In Grease, what did Sandy do
to get Danny Zuko?

She had to ditch the poodle skirt
and slap on a cat suit.

In short, she had to dress
like a ho.

Maybe if your look was better,

more desirable, Finn would be
in your arms right now.

Instead of Quinn's.

What's going on, Terr?

Just a couple more steps, okay?

-All right, stop.
-Okay.

Is that the blue bomber?

It is!

I remember I took you
to prom in this car.

We did it in the backseat.

Well, this isn't actually your old car.
I found this one on Ebay.

You know, I always
regretted selling this car.

I know. That's why
I got you this one.

I thought maybe working
on it would be a--

A distraction from all the pressure
that you've been under.

You are the best.

-Honey.
-Yeah?

Um, could you go and
get me a frozen yogurt?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, maybe I'll stop by Pep Boys.

Maybe they have some advice.

-That's a good idea.
-Yeah.

Take your time, honey.

How could you bring her here?

What if he saw her?

You're gonna want to hear this.

I gave little miss peroxide
my phone number

in case of an emergency,

and she called
to drop the bomb on me.

What?
What bomb?

What is it?

I'm keeping my baby.

Look, we had no intention of discriminating
against your Glee Club, mr. Rumba.

We extended an invitation to the
Jane Addams Academy to perform,

because we're lucky enough to have
better facilities than they do.

And you think we don't
have the same problem?

I run the Glee Club
at a school for the deaf.

You think I'm rolling around
in deaf choir money?

Now sure, my kids may be deaf,

but that shouldn't distract
everyone from the fact

that they still have
a song in their heart,

and they should have the same chance
as everyone else to express it.

Now I had scarlet fever as a kid,
leaving me deaf in one ear.

So I remember what it's like
to have full hearing,

but my poor kids
don't know the difference.

All they know is that
they love performing.

And then they have to hear
that Mckinley went and invited

those bad girls to the school.

That's just not fair.
It's not fair.

-I think your phone's ringing.
-What?

-Your phone's ringing.
-No, I got it on vibrate.

All I am saying is
that it would be nice

if you went and hosted
another scrimmage

and had the courtesy
to invite us this time.

I couldn't agree more.

What's that?

I said I agree with you.

Okay, I can't hear you.

Talk into this ear.
Scarlet fever.

-I'm sorry...
-You're on!

Um, how's Monday?

No, it has to be Monday.

Yes! All right!

Monday!

I can't wait to see the kids
do their numbers!

You don't have to make fun of me
with those hand gestures.

No, I didn't...

I didn't mean to.

Let me check with my secretary.

Oh, damn, four missed calls.

What's that?

I didn't say anything.

Yes, thank you.
I take it black, two sugars.

Hello.

Hello?!

I can't do this anymore.

It's time to tell him.

-Terri?
-Yeah, honey?

Oh, hey, kendra.

Damn, Will.

You make one sexy grease monkey.

I am having so much fun.

Working with my hands,
searching for parts all over town.

I feel like I'm in a Springsteen song.

Well, I got to get some old dish towels--
Mop up the grime.

That car is the perfect distraction.

I would get something like that for Phil
if I didn't think it would make him so happy.

What's the difference?

He's going to get pretty
damn suspicious

when I come home from
the hospital without a baby.

You need to relax.

And drink more.

I have got this whole thing figured out.

-You do?
-Mm-hmm.

Blondie's due date is right
around spring break.

You and I

are going to have a lady's
week at a spa down in Cinci

that caters to the prenatal set.

But, in reality,
we're gonna be camped out

at Wu's office with Quinn
until that high school hussy drops.

That's a great plan.

Except for the fact that Quinn
won't give us her baby anymore.

But she will, dummy.

We have to distract her with
the reality of her situation.

How are we going to do that?

She needs money.

I'm going to have her
babysit my kids.

Five minutes alone with
those little mongrels

and she'll have her tubes tied.

You're so smart.

You got the beauty, but I got
the brains and the beauty.

Hey, Rachel.

Oh, hey, Finn.

I didn't see you there.

Did you want to ask me something?

Uh, yeah, I-I just, I forgot.

I got distracted.

Well, I'm glad I got your attention.

I wanted to know if you wanted
to come over on Friday night.

As someone who's had long,
luxurious locks

since I was a toddler
in the pageant circuit,

I figured I could give you

some tips on our hair number.

Yeah, that'd be great.

Great.
How's 8:00?

8:00 is terrific.
It's terrific.

Objective achieved.

Commence phase two.

Hey, Quinn.

I, uh, wanted to ask your permission

to maybe do something
on Friday night, if...

Oh, that's fine.

I'm babysitting anyways.

Oh, cool.

I'll see ya.

Hey,

What are you doing on Friday?

Just the usual.

Was going to stand outside
the 7-eleven looking depressed

until someone offered
to buy me beer,

but what's going on?

You want to maybe
babysit with me?

Some of you,
particularly the guys,

have come up to me with some
questions about hairography.

One of our own has volunteered
to walk us through it.

She has got it down.

Brittany, take it away.

Take what away?

Show us what you got.

Oh.
All right.

So, hairography.

It works best when you pretend
like you're getting tasered.

So you just move your head around
like you're spazzing and stuff.

-Very nice.
-Wow.

You guys, it's like cool epilepsy.

Come on, guys.

Let's see what you got.

Good, guys, yeah.

Just relax and go for it, all right.

My neck, my back.

When is the lying going to stop, Sue?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

You've been spying on me
and we both know it.

You'll do anything
to torpedo Glee Club.

And it has got to stop!

I resent that accusation, William.

And one I understand you've been making
to our friends at Haverbrook and Jane Addams.

And it's an outrageous affront
to my sterling reputation!

That being said, fine,
I have been checking up on you.

Because I don't like
what's going on in there.

Do you know why I make each of my cheerios
wear her hair pulled back in a ponytail?

Because I don't want to distract
from her impeccable talent.

You seem to be taking
the opposite approach, Will.

And that leads me to believe you know
your kids don't have what it takes.

I believe in my kids.

Well, maybe in the beginning,
but not now.

Now that you've seen the competition that
threatens your very position at this school!

You're going to get me an updated
set list by 5:00 tomorrow.

And if there's anything on that list that involves
demeaning, fruity hair tossing, I'm cutting it!

I will not let you dictate my number choices.

And you are not getting that list.

Well, then I'm back as co-director.

Okay, guys, from the top.

I'll just be a second.

Thanks again for helping me out
with this hairography stuff.

Yeah, I mean,

You know, it's all about
getting warmed up.

Could you think of a song,

Maybe, that we could practice with?

What about the, the one from Grease?

You know, we did it when you
first joined the Club?

Okay, only I was just mostly

Nervous that day, but it...

Tell me about it...
Stud.

* I got chills,
they're multiplyin' *

* And I'm losing control *

* 'Cause the power
you're supplyin' *

* It's electrifyin'! *

* You better shape up *

* 'Cause I need a man *

* But my heart is set on you *

Wait, stop, stop.

What's wrong?

I need to be honest with you.

I'm-I'm really uncomfortable right now.

I'm gonna say this as nicely
as I possibly can,

but you look like

a sad clown hooker.

What?

This look,

it just isn't you.

I mean, maybe when I first saw it,

I was caught off guard that you
looked all adult and stuff, but

it's not what's really
great about you, Rachel.

I actually like the way
you usually dress,

sequined leg warmers and stuff.

I thought this was
what you liked.

No, not at all.

Funny, I was just having this conversation
last week with Kurt, and he asked me...

So what kind of girls
do you like?

Oh, uh, I like it when they're
natural and stuff;

Not a lot of makeup,
not skintight clothes.

That sort of thing, you know?

Totally.

I feel like an idiot.

No, no, this is my fault.

It isn't right for me
to be here anyway.

But I really like you, Rachel.

I gotta go.

I told you we should
have been the cowboys.

My bad.

What are we gonna do about this?

Who are you texting?!

Uh, Mike Ching.
He's got wind problems.

Well, put the phone down and help me
with this knot. I've almost got it.

Stop that!
Not the table!

Think of something!

I brought my guitar.
Why don't we sing them a lullaby?

Give me this.

Hey, kids, look at me.

Want to see a real live music video?

-Yeah.
-Okay.

* Papa, I know you're going to be upset *

* 'Cause I was always your little girl *

* But you should know by now,
I'm not a baby *

* You always taught me right from wrong *

* I need your help, daddy,
please be strong *

* I may be young at heart,
but I know what I'm sayin' *

* The one you warned me all about *

* The one you said
I could do without *

* We're in an awful mess *

* And I don't mean maybe, please *

* Papa don't preach,
I'm in trouble deep *

* Papa don't preach,
I been losing sleep *

* But I made up my mind,
I'm keepin' my baby *

* Ooh, I'm gonna keep my baby, mm-mm. *

Sing it again.

I think this is the first time

they have all been asleep
at the same time.

What's that smell?

Soap.

You got them to take a bath?

What are you, an exorcist?

She's like a jet, right?

I need a new clutch and a new set of shocks,
but she is really coming together.

What are you gonna do
when the kid comes?

You can't put a car seat
in that thing.

No latch system.

You were awesome tonight.

I was surprised at
how I kinda enjoyed it.

I was worried about you at first.

You seemed distracted,
all that texting to mike.

Distracted?
I was the opposite, babe.

I was totally into it.

All I know is we proved
something tonight:

This parenting thing?
We can do this.

You set me up...
With Finn!

Looks like someone is running
for drama queen again.

How could you do that?

I thought we were friends.

And what made you think that?

You should be thanking me.

All I did was help you realize
that your schoolgirl fantasy

Of running off with Finn
was nothing but a fairytale.

You like him.

Yeah, that's, that's what this is.

And you were just trying
to eliminate the competition.

I was just helping him understand

that you are not
a viable second choice.

You think I'm a second choice?

A distant second.

You think I'm living in a fairytale?

If I were second or if I were 50th,
I'd still be ahead of you because I'm a girl.

Okay, here's the dope, princess:

There's no hope for either of us.

He loves Quinn.
They're having a baby together.

We're nothing but distractions.

The sooner we realize that...
The better.

Keep your paws off my man.

Clear?

Who's your man?

Don't play stupid, tubbers.

Oh, and for the record, asking someone
to babysit with you is super '90s.

I happen to know
that Puck cares about me.

Oh, wake up!

While you two were babysitting,
Puck and I were sexting.

Sexting?

Sexy texting. Seriously,
what era are you from?

While you two were

"playing house,"

Puck and I were trading
super-hot texts.

Why don't you check his cell phone?

'Cause my sexts are too hot to erase.

Thank you all for coming.

We are so honored
to have you guys here.

So, without further ado,
I present the new directions.

Yes, so crazy right now.

Most incredibly,
it's your boy Artie,

It's you're girl Mercedes.

You ready?

* Hey! *
* Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, no-no-no *

* Uh-oh, uh-oh,
uh-oh, no-no-no *

* I look and stare so deep
in your eyes *

* I touch on you more and more
every time *

* When you leave,
I'm begging you not to go *

* Call your name two,
three times in a row *

* I'm hairy high and low *

* Don't ask me why,
I don't know, oh-oh-oh *

* I'm going so crazy right now *

* Your love's got me looking
so crazy right now *

* Got me lookin'
so crazy right now *

* Your touch got me lookin' *

* So crazy right now *

* Give me a head with hair,
long beautiful hair *

* Shining, gleaming,
streaming, flaxen, waxen *

* Got me hoping
you page me right now *

* Your kiss got me hopin'
you save me right now *

* Lookin' so crazy,
your love's got me lookin' *

* Got me lookin'
so crazy, your love *

* Got me lookin' so crazy
right now *

* Your love's got me lookin'
so crazy right now *

* Got me lookin' so crazy
right now *

* Your touch got me lookin'
so crazy right now *

* Down to here,
down to there *

* Down to there, down to where
it stops by itself *

* Where it stops by itself *

* Oh-oh-oh, got me lookin' so crazy right now *
* so crazy *

* Your love's got me lookin'
so crazy right now *

* Got me lookin' so crazy
right now *

* Your touch got me lookin'
so crazy right now *

* Crazy right now! *

It didn't work at all, did it?

No, it's just the rehearsal.

It's still just a little rough,
but we're onto something.

* Imagine there's no heaven *

* It easy if you try *

* No hell below us *

* Above us, only sky *

* Imagine all the people *

* Living life for today *

* Imagine there's no countries *

* It's not hard to do *

* Nothing to kill or die for *

* And no religion, too *

* Imagine all the people *

* Living life in peace.
Yoo-hoo-ooh-ooh *

* You may say I'm a dreamer *

* Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh *

* But I'm not the only one *

* I hope someday you will join us *

* I hope someday you will join us *

* Ooh *

* And the world will be as one *

* Imagine no possessions *

* I wonder if you can *

* No need for greed or hunger *

* A brotherhood of man *

* Imagine all the people *

* Sharing all the world *

* You *

* You may say I'm a dreamer *

* Ooh *

* But I'm not the only one *

* I hope someday you will join us *

* And the world will live as one. *

Hey, baby.

Um...

You really
don't want to do that.

You lied to me.

I'm sorry.

I tried to resist Santana.

I did.

But I'm young and girls
have this power over me.

But, hey, it's all good.

It's definitely
not all good.

I thought you wanted
to be with me.

I do.
Like, a lot.

But you haven't
given it up to me

Since the night
I knocked you up,

And, baby, I'm a dude.

I have needs.

So, you expect to
raise a baby with me

And text dirty messages to
every other girl at this school

if I don't give it
up to you every day?

No. Just the hot girls.

Look, I'm going
to be a good dad,

but I'm not going to stop
being me to do it.

You can have her.

Are you serious?

A girl really needs
a good father.

And the only way
she's going to get that

Is if I give her to you.

You think mr. Shue's going
to be a good father, don't you?

Yeah.

I think he's going
to be an amazing dad.

-Will!
-Hey, guys.

I thought you were going to be
at the scrap yard all afternoon.

Oh, yeah, uh, change of plans.

Got distracted
with something else.

Uh, Quinn,
what are you doing here?

Oh, girl talk.

We're exchanging
pregnancy war stories.

Oh, that's...
Nice.

Well, when you get a sec,

can you meet me out
in the garage, Ter?

Oh, I was just leaving, so...

Yes?

Later, mr. Shue.

You know I hate surprises.

Where's the blue bomber ii?

I sold it to some kid.

For a tidy little profit.

Let him have the fun.

I made enough for a down payment
on a car for our whole family.

Oh, Terri.

I love you.

And our little girl.

And I don't want anything
to distract me from you guys.

Hi.

Hi.

Can we be in love again?

I have to tell you
something first.

I, uh...

I want us to be honest with
each other, no matter what.

You can tell me anything.

Cool. Uh...

It... It's not really
even that big a deal.

I mean, I didn't
actually do anything,

But, the other night,
when you were babysitting...

I kind of went over
to Rachel's house.

But nothing happened.

I... Just was worked up
about us fighting

and then she put on this
really weird catwoman suit,

and so I think something
could have happened,

but it didn't.

Because I only want
to be with you.

It's all right.

Thank you for being
honest with me.

I love you, Quinn.

I love you, too.

* *

Hey, Sue.
You got a sec?

Sure.

I owe you an apology.

I did think the kids needed
to be a little more showbiz

And I was wrong.

That isn't who they are.

So, thank you
for helping me see that.

Oh, and, uh,
here's the new set list.

Mm-hmm.

Wow, these are great choices, William.

"Proud Mary."

Smokin' hot deep cut.

Smokin' hot!

Don't mock me.

Sorry.

Oh, I don't recognize
this last one.

Oh, that's the new addition.

Yeah, I want the kids to forget
everything I taught them

about hairography because...

We're starting from scratch.

Grab a stool.

So, we're a stool choir now?

Nope. We're not dancing
with the stools.

No gimmicks.
No false theatricality.

We're just going to sit
in them and sing.

Thanks, mr. Schuester.

This is their set
list from sectionals.

"Don't stop believing."
That's in.

"Proud Mary,"

Performed in wheelchairs.
That's in.

Now, I suggest you
take these two songs,

Split them between
your two groups,

and I'll pull some strings

and make sure that Schuester
and his group perform last.

That way, it'll look
like he stole the songs

from you.

Um, who do you think I am?

That's actually
a very good question

because I've forgotten
both of your names.

Look, I spend every
waking hour of my day

trying to teach those girls
that lying and cheating

is not the way you're
ever going to get ahead.

And you're suggesting
I do exactly that,

so that they can win
a singing competition?

Yeah, pretty much.

I think you're missing
an opportunity

to give your girls
a second chance.

These Mckinley kids
are going to do fine.

But outside of Glee Club,

Your girls don't have a heck
of a lot going for them.

And I'd hate to see them
so devastated by losing

that they'd give up entirely.

You know how many deaf choirs
have won this competition?

Okay. Everybody's going
to need to speak up

because I can't hear.

Deaf in one ear.
Scarlet fever.

I assume you read lips.
Read these.

Never let anything
distract you from winning.

Ever.

* Ah, ah, ah *

* You with the sad eyes *

* Don't be discouraged *

* Oh, I realize it's hard
to take courage *

* In a world full of people *

* You can lose sight of it all *

* And darkness, still inside you *

* Make you feel so small *

* But I see your true colors
shining through *

* I see your true colors *

* And that's why I love you *

* So don't be afraid
to let them show *

* Your true colors *

* True colors are beautiful *

* Like a rainbow *

* Show me a smile, then *

* Don't be unhappy *

* Can't remember when *

* I last saw you laughing *

* If this world makes you crazy *

* And you've taken all you can bear *

* You call me up
because you know I'll be there *

* And I see your true colors
shining through *

* Yeah *

* I see your true colors
and that's why I love you *

* So don't be afraid *

* Afraid to let them show *

* Your true colors *

* True colors *

* True colors *

* Are beautiful
like a rainbow. *