Girls (2012–2017): Season 6, Episode 7 - The Bounce - full transcript

Why is your ex trending
so hard on Twitter?

'Cause Dill's the worst.

Elijah, please don't make
me click on a hashtag.

Fine.

He wants to adopt, but he
only wants a white baby.

And he got caught trying to
buy one on the black market.

Ew.

Now I finally get why you
dumped that sexy creep.

Yeah.

That's why I straight
up ghosted his ass.

Hey,



um, would you...

Oh, you'd look
so pretty in this.

Would you cover
my shift tomorrow?

You're never busy in advance,
just sick from your drugs.

What you got?

There's an open call.

Since when are you auditioning?

I thought you were scared
you'd get too famous.

Well, to be honest,
after college,

I auditioned a bunch.

I just wasn't booking anything.

I remember I went
on this audition

for a commercial
for Papa John's.

I had to say,
"They stuffed it!"



It was for
the stuffed crust pizza.

And after I left the room, I heard the
casting directors laughing at me.

I waited around all day to
say, "They stuffed it,"

and I just got laughed at.

It was...
It was humiliating.

Dude, that's being an actor.

90% of my auditions go that way.

What's the one tomorrow for?

It's for a workshop
of a new musical,

"White Men Can't Jump!"

Holy shit, they made
that into a musical?

Yeah.

You're perfect for that.

You think so?

Of course. You're the
whitest guy I know.

Thank you.

( music playing )

♪♪
*GIRLS*
Season 06 Episode 07
"The Bounce"

Hi. I'm Elijah Krantz.

- Hi, Elijah Krantz.
- No, don't talk.

It's not a fucking AA meeting, okay?
They don't talk.

- I just talk.
- Got it.

Hi, I'm Elijah Krantz.

Well, I believe in the soul,

the cock,

the pussy,

the small of a woman's back,

the hangin' curveball...

high fiber, good Scotch,

that the novels of Susan Sontag

are self-indulgent,
overrated crap.

Hannah, why are you
looking at your phone?

I'm so sorry.
By the way, that was amazing.

- You wrote that, right?
- Yeah, basically.

I Googled it.

What the fuck, Hannah?

I'm sorry, it's just, I'm waiting
for Paul-Louis to call me back.

It's really stressful. What if he wants
to, like, move in with us or something?

Ew.

Do not let another homeless
woman in here, please.

She was fun.
You know it.

Yes?

Can I come in?

Yeah.

No. No!
Why are you here?

Everywhere I go, there's paparazzi.
They won't leave me alone.

I just got in my car
and I started driving.

And then my driver noted that we were near
your place and I took that as a sign.

I thought, this is probably the
only safe place for me right now.

Elijah: Well, you've gotten yourself
into quite a predicament, Dillard.

Just... making trouble.

Yeah.
Look at you.

Look at your sad little outfit.

Look at your sad outfit.
What happened to us?

This is for an audition, okay?

I'm great. Things are going
great right now for me.

Why should I help you with your
white-baby-buying scandal, huh?

You're right.

I'm sorry, Elijah.

Break a leg.

I don't know!

Dill!

Dill.

- You can come in.
- Thank you.

And I'm just kidding. You look
adorable in your little gym outfit.

I'm a street baller.

Of course you are.

Please wait in the kitchen while I
speak to Hannah alone in the hall.

Fuck!

My whole day
is fucked right now!

What the
fuck am I supposed to do?

I feel like I just

chugged a bunch of
Robitussin or something.

Listen, calm down, okay?
He's, like, nothing.

He doesn't have
any power over you.

He's not even
super sexy right now.

- He's, like, sweaty...
- Just stop talking.

Just do me a favor.

Write down everything he says.

Write down everything he says,
particularly if it's about me.

I have to go. I'm late.

I'm gonna have my eye on you,

even when it seems like I don't.

Just like the rest
of the fucking Internet.

Do you have anything
to eat that doesn't have

an activity center on the back?

What the fuck?

- Evie: Hey, Marn.
- Why are you wet?

Because I went on a run.

Why don't you just take
an Animal Flow class

at Equinox like a normal person?

Well, funny you should ask,
because I had to cancel

my Equinox membership

and my CardioBoxFlo membership

and my Animal Yoga membership

because I'm fucking broke.

And also, I'm fucking evicted,
so everything's great.

Marnie, are you seriously
calling to ask for money?

Mom, it's just a small loan,

just until I can
get in touch with Desi

and figure out what the
fuck is happening.

I'm sorry. I just can't give
you any more of my fun money.

I've already booked
a trip to Montego Bay.

What?

It's in Jamaica, and
Sharva goes every year.

Are you fucking serious, Mom?

Oh, okay, fine.
Just enjoy yourself

and totally don't worry about your
daughter, who has nowhere to live.

Well, I have a perfectly good
couch for you to sleep on

if you're really that hard up.

Mom!

And actually...

this would give us more time to
rehearse as The Michaels Sisters!

Oh, my God, we are not
The Michaels Sisters!

You know what? You're basically forcing
me to sell my Sweet Sixteen necklace.

How do you feel about that?
How does that sit with you, Mom?

Don't let divorce
make you bitter.

Oh, God, those nails.

Hi, there.

Okay.

Woman:
Elijah Krantz?

Yeah, I'm here.

We're ready for you.

Oh, no.
I just got here.

Great. We'll hear
your song now.

But...

I'm sorry...

I thought the monologue
was first.

It's not.

Can I have, like, 30 seconds
to go to the bathroom?

Not really.

It's an emergency.

Uh, not a bad emergency.

Just, like, a quick...
Just a pee.

Just a super quick...
I can't...

Thank you.

Whoop! Whoop! Whoop!

♪ White men can't jump ♪

♪ Billy Hoyle, you'll never dunk ♪

♪ Sidney's foil
is a geeky white jump ♪

♪ In the zone and he's
taking it to the hole ♪

♪ Oh, 'cause it's hard
goddamn work ♪

♪ Being this good ♪

♪ Yes, it's hard
goddamn work ♪

♪ Living in the hood ♪

♪ We in the hood now,
it's all good now ♪

♪ 'Cause we f-f-f-freaky
in the hood now... ♪

Clearly you're here
for the auditions.

Fuck, yeah.

Oh. Good for you, honey.

I'm getting the fuck
out of here.

Where are you going?
The auditions are upstairs.

Yeah,
I-I-I gotta go.

But you're in your
little basketball outfit.

Yeah, I am.
Uh...

Basically my ex showed up
at my place this morning

and has just destroyed
this entire day for me.

Fuck that.

Men are only on this earth
to buy us jeans.

I got to get out of here.
I can't go in that room

and sing "Santa Fe"
from "Newsies" right now.

Then don't sing "Santa Fe"
from "Newsies."

Sing some shit that's
real to you right now.

What's your name?

Athena Dante.

That is a great name.

Yeah.

What's yours?

Elijah Krantz.

Eh. It's a'ight.

Well, it's been working for
me for 28... 25... 24 years.

Hi.

Hi.

So, this is the most
valuable thing I own.

Um, but I'm selling it
because my freedom

is more precious to me than a
precious locket from the 1870s.

So... here goes.

"Wild Bill" Hickok gave that
to my great-great-grandmother.

I come from a long line of
women who choose terrible men,

but that's ending now.

Isn't it beautiful?

It's plated pewter.

You can see where the
plating has chipped away.

Oh, no, no.

It's actually
gold-plated platinum.

Apparently it used to be
really common.

They'd put the more valuable
metal underneath.

So this platinum is so fine,

that they literally needed
solid gold just to protect it.

No, I'm certain that's not true.

It has a spring lobster clasp.

This...

is less than 20 years old.

So, what are you telling me?
That my mom lied to me?

Holy shit!

My mom lied to me when I was 16

and I still believe it.

She fucking lied to me!

I bet none of my ancestors
were ever even in the Wild West.

Half my fucking wedding
theme is a lie.

Jesus Christ.

Fuck. Okay, I have
to sell these, then.

My dad gave these to me
when I got into college.

My diamond!
Fuck!

Glass.

Everyone in my family
is fucking lying garbage!

Every single person!

No wonder I married someone
just as bad as they are,

because it's all I fucking know.

And now, I'm, like, on the
precipice of homelessness

and all I've ever done
to anybody is love them.

All I've ever done
is love somebody,

and now I'm fucking here.

What the fuck!

Did you just roll
your eyes at me, sir?

I assure you, I did not.

Well, I may not know the difference
between gold and pewter,

but I'm not a fucking moron.

You just rolled your eyes at me.

Listen, lady. Please?

I'm not leaving
until you tell me why.

Why'd you do it?

It sounds to me like you're
doing a lot of blaming.

Your mother, your father,
your husband.

But nobody ever walks in here

to sell things off their body

who has done nothing wrong.

You know who comes
into pawn shops?

Junkies, thieves,

dentists who have
lost their license

because of sexual abuse,

babysitters who have affairs

- with the men...
- Jesus, dude. Stop. Stop.

Stop. I get it.

Do you?

Get it?

The liar...

is you.

Woman: He wants me to go outside
and play soccer with him.

Like, in the park.
Oh, I hate it.

- Don't laugh, I hate it.
- Hi.

I mean, the worst...

Hello.

I'm Elijah Krantz.

Hi, Elijah Krantz.
What will you be singing?

I will be singing
"Let Me Be Your Star"

from the hit show "Bombshell"

from the hit TV show
"Smash."

♪ She'll do all she can ♪

♪ For the love
of one man ♪

♪ And the millions
who love ♪

♪ From afar ♪

♪ I'm what you've been needing ♪

♪ It's all here
and my heart's pleading ♪

♪ Let me be your ♪

♪ Star. ♪

♪ Star. ♪

Okay. You can stay
for the monologue.

How far along are you?

Excuse me?

I have 14 Emmys. I know when
someone's keeping a secret from me.

Don't worry. I don't
want to buy your baby.

Good, 'cause I don't
want to sell my baby, so.

I'm only, like, three months.

I haven't even
told the father yet.

You're afraid
he won't support you.

No. I don't know if I want
him to support me.

I don't even know if I
want him to be involved.

- I didn't want to make this phone call.
- Whoa, whoa.

Hannah.

I like to live a life
of acceptance,

to flout tradition when I can,

but there's one thing I know...

Babies need fathers.

Mine left when I was three.

Just got up and followed
the maharishi.

It left me totally incapable

of accepting divine male love.

I'm broken.

You're broken and you
thought you would fix it

by buying a white baby?

Yeah, that's exactly
what I thought.

I was gonna father that baby

because I couldn't
father myself.

Okay, well, what about moms?

- Aren't moms important?
- Uh, for six months.

Listen, Hannah, you need
to think about the effect

that this could have
on your child.

What they might miss.

They could find themselves
alone, aging,

embroiled in a public
scandal in Queens

in an ex-lover's
squat house.

Okay, we're in Brooklyn right
now and this is an apartment.

It just sounds so much sadder
when you try to defend it.

He drank my fucking LaCroix.

You need to stop
checking on your ex, man.

- He's gonna get to your head!
- He is in my head.

He drank all the
LaCroix in my head.

Good dick is a prison.

All right, listen up, kids!
I got a list.

- All right, Allen...
- Yes!

Micucci...

- Frances...
- Yes!

Dunnigan,

Eldridge, Kang,

Jared, Zinman,

Gillan, Villepique,

McMillan.

Tony:
Okay,

so if she said your name,

you can go home. Thank you so much.

And the rest of you
can head into the studio

for the dance portion.

He flipped it!

He fucking flipped it.

Mm, I love that move.
Classic.

Yeah, "A Chorus Line."
Best show ever.

I love this
bitchy business so much.

Well, that's easy.

Well, gotta take this call.

Hello?

Yeah,
this is Paul-Louis.

Hey, Paul-Louis.
This is Hannah.

We met a few months ago.

I was writing the article
about the surf camp.

I threw up in your bed.

You said I had, like,
a lot of pubic hair.

Oh, Hannah!

Hey, what's up, girl?

Hey, yeah,
I just wanna preface this

by saying this is
a real no-pressure sitch.

You know, I'm just kind of doing
my moral and ethical duty

to keep you informed and let
you know that I'm pregnant.

From when we had sex.

So, from the sex we had,
I got pregnant

and I'm gonna be having
that child.

Whoa.

Uh, whoa.

Okay, what do you need?

Uh, need?
I don't need anything.

No, I know you're
at the beginning

of, like, a very exciting and
illustrious water skiing career,

and I'm not interested in
creating any problems for you.

Wow.

Wow, ooh, are you serious?

That's really kind of you.

That's so cool.

Uh, because I'm not really
ready to... to have a kid.

And I feel like a POS

telling you to get
an abortion or whatever.

I mean, that's not my place.

That's... that's not fair.

I'm not, um...

Um, well, thanks
for telling me, I guess.

Yeah, everyone said it was,
like, so important.

Now I feel like
maybe it was a mistake.

Oh, no. No.
Hey, you know what?

I don't even believe
in mistakes.

I really don't.

Uh...

Okay.

No, cool.
Well, uh... well, good luck.

Absolutely. I'll definitely
keep you in the loop

if anything major goes on.

Or I don't have to.

It'll only be if that was
something you wanted.

Cool. Cool.

Um, hey, you know

a name I always thought was
cool for a boy was Grover.

Uh, okay. So, all
right, I'll go now.

Unless you want to talk more.

I mean, I don't want to be a
dick about it if you wanted...

No, no. I got out
everything I needed to say.

Thank you.

Well, be good, Hannah.

Dill: Sounds like he
didn't have much to say.

Sounds like he dismissed you...

the way I dismissed Elijah.

No, it went perfectly.

He doesn't want a kid,
so he's not gonna bother me,

so that's what I wanted.

I wanted it to be easy
and it was easy,

so I guess it's
just a little sad...

- Shh.
- How easy it was.

Shh.

It's okay.

I guess I just thought I could be
this, like, brave, cool, young mom

with, like, tattoos and, like, a whole,
like, you know, cool approach to things,

and now I'm just feeling...

What are you crying about?

It's just...
It's just...

It's just the same shit.

You know, sweetie?

It's... we're just...
We're just children.

We're just... we're just naked children.

Reviewing that part
one last time.

It's window, front,

one, and, look, two,

up, three, and four,

five, double pirouette,

- then jump.
- Jump.

Great! Music.

Woman: And five, six, seven, eight!

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ Come on, yeah, babe. ♪

So good!

Nice!
Really great stuff, guys.

Let's bring the basketballs in.

Oh, sorry, sorry!

Oh, G...!

Man:
Yeah.

- Men: Yeah! Whoo!
- Why?!

- Oh!
- Sorry!

Yeah, still counts.
Whoo!

Hold your nose up.

♪ Yeah, babe. ♪

- Ugh, man,
you stunk up the joint.

I know.

The last time I touched a
basketball was the sixth grade

where, then, I literally
only touched it.

Then why the fuck you try out
for a basketball musical?

Because I thought the whole point was
white guys aren't good at basketball.

Hey, what you doing now?

You wanna go to Starbucks?

I get 30% off all snacks
that aren't seasonal.

- Do you work at Starbucks?
- No.

I wish I was younger so we could
hang out and it's not weird,

but it feels weird.

I'm sorry.

Plus, I have to go back
to my apartment

and make sure my ex-boyfriend
didn't kill himself, so.

He's still at your house?

Yes, but only
because he's hiding

from the "Daily Mail"
or whatnot.

Bullshit.

Dudes can go anywhere.

There's nothing but places
to hide in this city.

He loves you.
Rawr!

- No, no, no.
- Yeah.

I'll see you
at another audition, huh?

Or maybe at rehearsal.

- Yeah, okay.
- Hey!

I might get cast in this show.

I nailed the first two parts
of that audition.

And then how hard
can it be to...

To spin a fucking basketball
on your finger, right?

I can learn that.
I could learn a new skill.

Reese Witherspoon learned how
to sing for "Walk the Line,"

and she won a goddamn Oscar.

I can do this.

Because you know why,
Athena Dante?

I'm gonna let you in
on a little secret.

I'm really, really
fucking talented.

I'm as talented as you say you are.
That's how talented I am.

Exactly.

That's how you gotta be, man.

It's never too late.

Fuck you.
I'm not that old.

Too old to be going
to open calls.

You little bitch.

You don't think it's gonna be
so good, the baby's talking,

- but it's just like...
- Mm, Kirstie...

Honey, how'd it go?

Dill got us eight pizzas. The
pepperoni's in the bathroom.

Why are you still here?

I'm here 'cause I have
something to say to you.

There's nothing
like a public shaming

to make you realize
what's really important.

I cast you aside

when all you wanted to do
was love me.

It's funny, I thought
I came here to hide out,

but I think for
the first time in my life

I'm ready to stop hiding.

- Elijah...
- Oh, okay.

All right, um...

Dill, just save it for somebody
who cares about current events.

Okay?

You came here to fuck with me.

That's why you came here,

to fuck with me the same way
that you fuck with everybody.

But guess what. You can't
fuck with me anymore, okay?

I'm "unfuckable" now.

So, yes, you might've thrown me a
little bit when you showed up,

but not anymore.

'Cause I...
I took my ball,

and I marched down that court,

and I fucking dunked it.

Those are sports terms

and I'm using them because
I am my own teammate now.

Me.

Bam.

So...

good luck with your white baby.

Elijah: Dill, could you
please bring a pizza in here?

Hey, Desi.
It's Marnie.

Um, I just wanted
to let you know

that I'm assuming responsibility
for my own life.

And don't worry about
sending me any money for rent

because I will be
moving in with my mom.

Um.

You don't owe me anything

and I'm really sorry
that I thought you did.

Okay, um, I genuinely hope
you're doing well.

Bye.

Fuck you, Mom.

This is Elijah Krantz.

Elijah, hi.

- Um, it's Tony and Patty...
- Patty and Tony!

From the soon-to-be hit
musical "White Men Can't Jump!"

- Yeah.
- So, I'm just gonna cut right to the chase.

You cannot dance for shit.

- We don't give a fuck.
- Patty: No, I don't care.

I don't care. You have an
element, this essence,

and we really would like for you to
come in and read for our producers.

- Just read the scene.
- Tony: Read the scene. No balls.

Patty: Mm, and the way you sang?
Beautiful.

Just tell them
you forgot your ball.

Tony: Absolutely no balls.
We'll see you soon.

Woman: All righty, so Dr. Kruskal
will see you in a few minutes.

Thank you.

♪ I've got
a million-dollar secret ♪

♪ Can't tell you what it is ♪

♪ I'm keeping it to myself ♪

♪ Won't give it away ♪

♪ I've got
a million-dollar secret ♪

♪ Hope I have the courage
to keep it in ♪

♪ Won't give in
and just give it away ♪

♪ If you really
wanna know, baby ♪

♪ Come a little closer ♪

♪ And I'll whisper
in your ear ♪

♪ If you really need
to know, baby ♪

♪ Come a little closer ♪

♪ And I'll whisper
in your ear ♪

♪ Maybe I'll have forgotten
what I was gonna say ♪

♪ But come
a little closer ♪

♪ Let me whisper
in your ear anyway ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪

♪ Anyway ♪

♪ Mm-mm ♪

♪ You can ask over and over ♪

♪ But I'm not ready to tell ♪

♪ 'Cause I'll have
all your attention ♪

♪ This feeling is suspended in air ♪

♪ And I can keep it
as long as I've been meanin' ♪

♪ Have all your attention ♪

♪ As long as it's a mystery... ♪

Synchronized by srjanapala