Girls (2012–2017): Season 5, Episode 3 - Japan - full transcript

Shoshanna finds her beloved new life in Japan threatened, Adam and Jessa's complicated friendship continues, and, upset at finding photos of his ex-girlfriends on his phone, Hannah sends nudes to Fran.

♪ (Theme music) ♪

- (Elijah) Have a good day, baby.
- (Hannah) I love you.

Uh... (Uncomfortable laugh)

What are we supposed to not
do this now that you're around?

Mmm... maybe.

I've been living in Japan
for like seven months now,

and it has seeped into my soul.

(Adam) Can we just be with
each other, like friends?

We are not gonna touch each other.

Dil Harcourt bought me a drink.
He's my number one news source.

I watch the news to him twice a day.



I want you to call me.

(Elijah) I have to go, Hannah's having
a gay emergency with her gay dad.

Hey, hey, that's not how work works.

Tell him I want a fucking divorce.

(Tad) She didn't say that.

I'm here. And I'm always gonna be here.

♪ (Theme music) ♪

[Clock speaking Japanese]

[Japanese continues]

[Japanese continues]

♪ (Music playing) ♪

(Bicycle bell rings)

[Speaks Japanese]

[Speaking Japanese]



♪ [Women singing in Japanese] ♪

[Speaking Japanese]

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I don't know who you're talking about.

That one right there. Travvy.

Hey, I know him. Do you like him?

Yeah, a lot. He's amazing.

Yeah, he's not for me.

- He's seven.
- He's like a seven-year-old asshole.

He's super pompous.

That's super fair.

(Door opens)

(Water running)

Hey, Fran.

Hmm?

What the fucking fuck are these?

- That's private. That's private!
- There's nothing private

about having a bunch of photos of
random naked women on your phone.

Well, it's private because
it is on my phone, okay?

And for the record, that's not a
bunch of rando naked women, okay?

Those are my ex-girlfriends.

This is your ex-girlfriend?

Why the fuck do you have naked photos

of your ex-girlfriends on
your phone? That's insane.

It's not insane. I
use them to masturbate.

You use these to masturbate?

Yeah.

Why would you not just use
porn like a normal human male?

Are you kidding, Hannah?
Porn is disgusting.

Those girls, they're
underage, they're on drugs.

Many of them have been abused.

So, no, that doesn't really get me hard.

Okay, if you've got
such a problem with porn,

then why can't you
just masturbate to me?

I would. I mean, that'd be
great. I would love that.

To be honest, the photos that
you've sent me are kind of goofy.

It's like you naked going like...

I'm not really gonna jerk off to that.

[Speaking Japanese]

_

(Gasps)

Hi, Yoshi. Um... sorry, I
was... I was looking for you.

Hello, Shoshanna.

Did... did you have
pleasure on this weekend?

Oh, yeah, ah, major pleasure.

Um, I went to see this
DJ spin. DJ Cat Cow.

Cat Cow?

(Chuckles)

He is my dear friend of friend.

[Speaks Japanese]

Um... are those the
winter line spreadsheets?

Why, yes, they are.

I always follow your instructions.

Good.

Very good.

Domo arigato. (Nervous chuckle)

Okay.

I don't like spread rumor,
but I heard he likes you.

- He in love with you.
- He so in love with you.

It drive him crazy.

Okay, you guys, I jus... I don't even
really think that he likes me like that.

Seriously, he's always like,

"Shoshanna, you're a really
shiny star at this company."

He wants you.

He wants to take you to a love hotel

- and check in for a year.
- (Laughs)

First of all, maybe I am a
shiny star at the company,

because even though I've only
been here for a very short while,

I truly feel like this is my
home and you people are my family.

And I don't even really care
about people in America anymore.

But second of all, I also
kind of have a boyfriend.

And third of all, he's my boss and
Cheryl Semper would fucking kill me.

(Both laugh)

You talk too fast.

What? I've literally never heard that.

It's probably a Japanese thing.

- Satoko, will you translate?
- Mm-hmm.

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- Arigato gozaimasu.
- Arigato gozaimasu.

(Laughing)

Honestly, I think you're overreacting.

- (Hannah) No, you don't.
- I really do.

Who cares what he looks
at when he's masturbating?

Okay, is this some weird
new honeymoon Marnie?

Next thing you're gonna tell me
that, like, monogamy is a construct.

I mean, in a sense it is.

Who stole your soul?

Look, I'm not gonna
lie to you and pretend

that Ecuador hasn't been, like,
a really life-changing experience,

but, I don't know, this might be
a little bit enlightened of him.

Enlightened? Marnie,
he keeps a whole folder

of ex-girlfriend pinups
to jerk it to, okay?

And these aren't, like,
porn stars or strippers.

They're, like, regular
girls... nurses and legal aides

just, like, smiling with their tits and

- pussy flaps hanging out.
- Ew.

How is this different than killing
someone then keeping their shrunken

- head as a trophy?
- Oh, my God,

you need to take, like,
a serious step back here.

He is not cheating on you.
He's not doing anything mean.

In fact, he's the nicest guy you've
ever dated by, like, a planet distance.

Well, I really thought
you would be on my side.

Hannah, I am on your side.
I'm always on your side.

Okay, I just fully saw
your husband's dick.

Oh, my God, I love
hearing the word husband.

Congratulations.

(Computer chiming)

Konnichi wa, bitches!

Hi, Shoshanna. I wanted to call ya...

Oh, my God, that is so nice to hear.

Seriously, I'm loving it here.

Like, this corporate
environment is the dream

I'm living for every
day of my young life.

I love it so much.

You know how people say that you
can't run away from your problems?

Well, I moved away
from mine and it worked,

so people are so wrong
so much of the time.

Which is honestly why, Shoshanna,

like, this is so hard for me to say.

Ah, what... what's so
hard for you to say?

Let me start at the beginning. Um...

As you know, corporate Japan
is in a little bit of trouble.

Okay.

And so there's fewer jobs.

And now it means fewer
of you and your job.

Abigail, are you...

are you firing me?

No! No, no, no, no, no. No.

Oh, my God, that just
scared the shit out of me.

That literally would have been,
like, the worst thing to ever happen

to me in my life.

Um, it's act...

it's called... um...

we're... we're managing you out.

So I still have my job, though, right?

It's like a very light
ending of a relationship

and a business partnership
and, like, a salary.

Wait, I'm sorry. How is
this different from firing?

I guess because it has a different name.

I moved to Japan.

We are gonna pay for your ticket back.

Um... an... and it's gonna
be in fucking business class.

No, I don't want to go
back even in business class.

Abigail, you cannot make me go back.

Why are you upset? Because they're
exes or because they're not you?

All of it, Ray. I don't
like any of it, okay?

And then he's taken this
radical anti-porn stance

like he's Andrea fucking Dworkin.

So he's opposed to the enslavement
and trafficking of young women.

What a monster. How outrageous!

Listen, Ray, I just need to know
if you think it's weird, okay?

'Cause I talked to
Marnie and she doesn't.

When did you talk to Marnie?

Don't be thirsty, Ray.

Look, Hannah, I want to take your
side on this. Okay? I really do.

But the moral underpinnings
of your argument are at best,

at very best, extremely unclear.

For the record, I think it's very gross.

Thank you, okay? 'Cause I was
worried I was getting, like, old

and pedestrian about sex and
you know I pride myself on

- my sexual openness.
- Mm-mhm.

What I lack in skill, I make
up for in extreme curiosity.

So why are you getting your
panties in a bunch, then?

'Cause, Ray, I worked very, very
hard to overcome the challenges

of my nontraditional body type
and accept myself for who I am.

And I'm not gonna be
edged out of my own life

by girls who don't even have any
interesting fat deposits on them.

Until this happened, I was
basically Kate Upton to myself.

Hannah, you're still hot... to Fran.

You're gonna thank me later
for using the special lens.

It's gonna really
distinguish these photos

from all the other ones
he's jerking it to.

Paint me like one of
your French girls, Ray.

Okay, what I need from you, Hannah,
is less talking and more animus.

Okay.

You look like you have
a spinal cord injury.

- Put some life in those limbs.
- Like a kind of like a...

Yeah, create some lean lines.

Nice.

Try ones with, like, a coy smile.
Like you know a juicy secret.

Not the Katie Holmes.

Let me put this in
terms you'll understand.

Like you know a cake is coming later.

- (Gasps) There she is.
- (Camera clicking)

I just don't understand.

It makes no sense.

It's total fucking bullshit.

I know for a fact we are
keeping even that hooker Erica.

But now you go home to
your future husband, yes?

And go out with Ashley Tisdale.

No, you guys, I don't
want to go back to America.

And I don't know Ashley Tisdale.

I saw her once at a
gynecologist appointment

and I tried to explain that to you guys,

but you misunderstood
and so I just let it go.

Then why don't you stay?

Because I can't afford to, okay?

My parents aren't rich.
They didn't invent Chuhai.

Oh, really?

You seem very wealthy because
of your spoiled attitude.

Yeah.

That's just how Americans act.

We're kind of assholes.

You know, I really don't want to
talk about what happened last night.

I mean, you're kind of a jerk-off.

- So this woman's the lead?
- Yeah. That's...

that's Detective Mosedale. She's
been on the show for 12 years.

She's richer than the president.

- Okay, oh, it's back on.
- Oh, my God!

Hey, that's him.

Hey, you.

Hey!

Hey, slow it down!

We're not gonna hurt you.

We got a car, genius.

(Mosedale) We're not
gonna hurt you, okay?

Just want to ask you some questions.

All right. All right.

All right, what's it worth to you?

(Laughs)

They really messed up your teeth, huh?

No, it's... it's just makeup.

So, how long you been
living on the streets?

Oh, what do you care?

Want to hold on to that 20 or not?

I don't know. I don't know. Maybe
a year, maybe five years. Who knows?

You know, time passes in strange ways
on the outside. You can write that down.

All I know is I've been on my
own since I was 11 years old.

(Scoffs) Cry me a river.

I was born in an orphanage, all right?

I've always been on my own.

Her character had a fucked-up childhood.

There was a flashback in season four.

- That's why she's so...
- Right.

Listen, brother, we're
both from the streets.

So let's help Trippi out
before it's too late, okay?

What do you say?

(Groans)

You were amazing.

- No, I wasn't.
- Yeah.

No, no, no. I'm 100% serious.

You... I'm so impressed right now.

You were... you were tough and grimy

and, like, streety,

but you were totally vulnerable.

Like, you played into that pain so well.

I'm so impressed.

You were amazing. You really were. I was
subtle but forceful. It was very strong.

Thank you.

All right, let's just
sit in silence now.

Adam's gonna be famous.
Adam's gonna be famous! Yes!

(Laughing)

(Phone chimes) Konnichi wa!

(Scott) Well, hello, kitty.

(Sighs)

Hey.

You don't sound great.

I'm coming home.

What? That's great.

Yeah.

Unless it's not.

Um...

I lost my job and I don't know why.

Oh, man.

Oh, man, that sucks dicks.

You know what? Corporations
don't like visionaries.

But I can't help but feel a little bit
excited on a... on a very selfish level.

That's, um, really sweet, except
I don't have a job still, so...

Okay, all right, listen to me.

Just get on a plane. Like, right away.

Just rip off the Band-Aid.

Mm, I don't know.

Trust me, good-byes suck.

You don't want to drag
it out. Just come back.

Come back to me and I will
take such good care of you.

And we'll just move forward.

I mean, yeah, maybe you're right.

I am. I am right. Just get on a plane.

I'll even pick you up at the airport.

Um, yeah.

Yeah, you know what? Um...

I'm gonna do it. I'll just, ah...

I'll just book the first flight
and I'll text you the info.

Shoshanna, I'm really,
really sorry about your job.

But now we get to have you back.

Yeah, okay. I'll see you soon, okay?

- Okay. Bye.
- Okay, bye.

(Sniffles)

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(Sniffles)

(Moaning softly)

(Fran sighs)

It's like you're not
really here right now.

- Is that...
- Oh, I'm fully here.

It just seems like you're
kind of disassociated.

Like you're someplace else or something.

I'm not.

Look at me. Look at me.

I love you.

- Okay?
- Mm-hmm.

Are you all right?

- Is this okay? Is this not...
- Yeah, you... you...

shouldn't need me to tell you I
love you. All those pictures of

your ex-girlfriends can
tell you that they love you.

Really?

I can't get over that it was the
mother's boyfriend the whole time.

It's always the mother's boyfriend.

Do you think your character is gonna
stay off the streets from now on?

No. Only way of life he knows.

(Both laugh)

All right, I'm trying to get
exactly 13 hours of sleep a night,

so Grandpa's got to shut it down.

- Good night.
- Good night.

Let's try to keep the
volume at a courteous level.

Okay? Thank you.

(Door closes)

(Laughs)

(Silent gesticulating)

I don't know how you do it.

(Clear throat)

What?

Nothing.

I... I wrote a, er...

(Jessa clears her throat)

haiku up here

like a, um... like a month ago.

- That's weird.
- It's like from your...

- Why would you...
- ...perspective.

Why would you do that?

It was... I forgot how I got up there.

How did...

What are you doing?

We're just friends.

Are we?

Um... I'm not doing this
"will they, won't they" shit.

No fucking way.

I'm sorry.

Thank you.

Bye.

(Door closes)

(Scatting as he acts a scene)

(Imitating gunshots)

(Groans, imitating impact)

(Gags as he falls)

- (Music playing)
- (Crowd cheering)

♪ [Singing in Japanese] ♪

(Crowd cheering)

(Techno music pulsing)

- [Man speaks Japanese]
- [Woman speaking Japanese]

[Speaks Japanese]

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Shoshanna.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

(Wincing, laughing)

[Speaking Japanese]

(Groaning)

Shoshanna. Shoshanna.

- You like it, yeah?
- Holy shit.

- (Groaning)
- [Speaks Japanese]

[Speaks Japanese, laughing]

Shoshanna. Shoshanna.

- Your turn.
- What? No.

You dress like... dress like nurse.

- Please?
- No.

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- No.

- Come on. Dress like nurse.
- Shoshanna!

- Shoshanna. Shosh-an-na! Shosh.. Shosh.
- (Men chanting) Nurse, nurse, nurse,

- nurse, nurse...
- Nah, Shoshanna!

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(Masa) Shoshanna, look what I'm doing.

The wax dripped into my asshole.

Put the fucking nurse costume.

- Okay, okay. Fuck it, okay.
- Yes?

- I'll do it.
- Oh, yeah!

_

[Speaking Japanese]

Ah! Oh!

Oh! Oh, Shoshanna.

- (Men) Oh! Kawaii! Oh, kawaii!
- Shoshanna!

- Come, come.
- (Man) Sexy girl.

(Man #2) Cutie.

- Hey, Shoshanna.
- You try.

- What? No.
- Yeah, yeah.

- I don't want to...
- Yes.

- No.
- _

Shh.

- Shoshanna, hard, hard.
- Okay, okay.

Okay.

Okay, just one. Just one time.

- Just one time. Just...
- Yay!

- Oh, yeah!
- (Clapping, chattering)

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- (Shoshanna) Okay, okay, okay.
- (Man) Yes, yes, yes.

Shoshanna?

- What?
- Is that all you got?

[Speaks Japanese]. Harder!

- Oh.
- (Men) Ooh!

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- (Ryota) Big one. Big one.
- Okay.

- Give it! Ah!
- Okay.

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- Bom! Bom! Bom!
- _

Okay, one more. One more. One more.

- Go ahead!
- Ah!

- Oh, shit.
- (Laughing)

Oh, shit.

- Oh!
- [Speaking Japanese]

- Fucking hurt.
- Shit. Shit. Are you okay?

I'm sorry. Um...

Does that make your
pussy wet, you sick fuck?

- You love it, don't you?
- I'm sorry.

- I'm...
- (Laughing)

- Yoshi. Yoshi.
- I'm sorry. I'm... I'm sorry.

(Laughing)

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I am so sorry, Shoshanna.

Ryota is really, really motherfucker.

Yeah.

Are you okay?

Where is it?

Fucking secret Ted Bundy
life, you fucking creep.

What are you smiling
about, you little whore?

Delete.

Oh, cool. A tramp stamp. A star. Wow.

Oh, you're, like, having
all these original thoughts.

Oh, hey, indie nipples.
Looking good. Deleted.

Oh, and cool, holding
a Brussels Griffin dog.

Suck my fucking dick.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Here's a nice picture of me.

And we're just gonna go screen saver.

(Phone chimes)

(Scott) Hi, Shosh. Ah...

I know you're probably headed
to the airport right now,

but, um... I just wanted to say
that I... I can't wait to kiss you.

♪ (Man vocalizing) ♪

♪ Past lives could never hold me down ♪

♪ Lost love is sweeter
when it's finally found ♪

♪ I've got the strangest feeling ♪

♪ This isn't our first time around ♪

♪ Past lives couldn't
ever come between us ♪

♪ Sometimes the dreamers
finally wake up... ♪

- (Phone clicks)
- ♪ Don't wake me, I'm not dreaming ♪

♪ Don't wake me, I'm not dreaming... ♪

(Music playing)

♪ Golden eagle ♪

♪ You're the one and only flying high ♪

♪ Through the cities in the sky ♪

♪ I'll take you way back ♪

♪ Countless centuries ♪

♪ Don't you remember ♪

♪ That you were meant to
be my Queen of Hearts ♪

♪ Meant to be my love? ♪

♪ Through all of my lives ♪

♪ I'd never thought I'd
wait so long for you ♪

♪ The timing is right ♪

♪ The stars are aligned ♪

♪ So save that heart for me ♪

♪ 'Cause, girl, you know
that you're my destiny ♪

♪ Destiny ♪

♪ Swear to the moon, the stars ♪

♪ The sons and the daughters ♪

♪ Our love is deeper than
the oceans of water ♪

♪ Hey, I need you now ♪

♪ I've waited, oh, so long, yeah ♪

♪ Gimme love, I need you now ♪

♪ I've waited, oh, so long ♪

♪ Hey, I need you now ♪

♪ I've waited, oh, so long, yeah ♪

♪ Gimme love, I need you now ♪

♪ I've waited, oh, so long. ♪