Girls (2012–2017): Season 3, Episode 7 - Beach House - full transcript

- Hey.
- Hi.

What's up?

- Hi.
- Hi, how's it goin'?

It's good. How was the ride?

I have to fucking piss so badly,

- I'm gonna shit myself.
- Oh, God.

I can't believe we're in the Hamptons.

Oh, no, this is the North Fork.

It's very different from the Hamptons.

It's, you know, for people who
think the Hamptons are tacky

and don't want to be on a
beach that's near a J.Crew.



J.Crew?

Where's Jessa? Did she not even show?

No, she just insisted on sitting in the
back of the bus for political reasons.

I will text you the
minute I recharge my phone.

So good to meet you. You guys are the best.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Uh, I hope you don't mind.

I invited Rita and Luther
to hang with us this weekend.

They're amazing. Luther's an orthodontist.

Yeah, the only thing is
that my mom's friend Suzanne

was so generous letting us
stay in this house this weekend

that it feels a little bit like it
might be rude to have bus people in it.

Okay, don't worry. I mean,
they probably won't come.

It was just, like, a token invite.



Not worried.

Oh, my God.

I call biggest and/or best room.

No one can call anything
without saying "shotgun," okay?

Shotgun!

No!

Shosh, no, no, no, no, no.

I threw my bag on first.
Do you know what that means?

- It means nothing!
- Get off!

First one who gets in gets the bed.

Ow, your shoes are hurting me.

Hey, guys, you know what?
Don't worry about it.

I think I'm just gonna take this room.

You guys, I had a feeling
this was gonna happen,

so I went ahead and assigned the rooms.

So, Shosh is in here.

Hannah, you and I are downstairs,

- and Jessa, I put you in the lighthouse...
- Great.

'Cause it's bohemian.

- Wait, there's a lighthouse?
- No.

Wait, there's a lighthouse? Excuse me.

- It's all right.
- You can have this room!

You can have this room.

So, we're sharing a room?

Well, it's two different rooms,

but they connect, so, options.

Cool.

I'm so excited. It's like old times.

Me, too.

♪ One, two, three, four... ♪

This is so fun! It's so nice!

What? Oh!

Oh, thank God.

No!

Not funny.

That's not funny.

Ow!

Ow! This is so hard on my feet, you guys.

You were on the phone for so long,

you didn't hear what I
said about swim shoes.

This is c... ow!

Oh, my God. I'm not staying down here.

It's like a monsoon is brewing.

It's the best swimming
conditions imaginable.

I'm having the time of my life, seriously.

I can't go in open water
unless I'm menstruating.

You guys, we're so disconnected now.

I thought this would just be a nice
opportunity for us to have fun together

and, you know, prove to
everyone via instagram

that we can still have fun as a group.

But we do still have fun as a group.

We don't need to have some,
like, perfect weekend, you know?

- I don't know. I kind of like this idea.
- Thank you.

I've learned a lot of great
communication games in rehab

- and we could play those.
- Yeah, they're so fun.

But I just think we have
a lot of healing to do,

and we have a lot of
ways that we could do it.

That's all I'm saying.

Should we start the healing now
in this horrifying wind tunnel?

No, you know, I was actually thinking
the healing would take place at dinner,

but after that, we would do face
masks and watch "the queens of comedy,"

and then we could maybe write
our wishes down on pieces of paper

and then throw them into a
bonfire so they come true.

But for now we have to go grocery shopping.

Don't you think you should probably

be wearing clothes and shoes
if you're going into town?

No, this is a beach town.
That's not how they operate.

Okay.

"No bare feet." Fucking bullshit.

- Can I have your list, then?
- Here you go.

- Where was that?
- In my back pocket.

- You wanna wear one of my shoes?
- No, thank you.

- You sure?
- Yeah, I like it better out here.

Can you please get me some
white cheddar goldfish?

I don't think Marnie will
let me. It's not on the list.

- Okay.
- Sorry.

Oh, my God, look,
you guys. "Spring breakers."

- Oh, my God.
- That makes me sick.

Hannah.

Are you fucking kidding me?

Hi-lo. Hi.

What are you doing here?

Um, uh, we all were just saying
how much we love your bikini.

Yeah, so few people are going
bold to the beach anymore.

- Absolutely.
- That's not true.

I heard you laughing at it.

You did say it pretty loud.

Oh, my God.

We'll be in the wicker shop.

Okay, just give me a second, boo.

Yeah, but with you, one second's
always about 20 minutes, boo.

Nobody was making fun of you.

I heard you.

It's a good thing I'm not as
susceptible to criticism as I used to be.

What are you doing here?

Getting away from the
daily grind of city life

and my high-powered job
in the magazine industry

and making memories with my
friends that will last a lifetime.

The usual. I don't know,
Elijah. What are you doing here?

Um, you know, we're just
staying at a friend's house

that I think we thought was a
little more centrally located,

you know, like in the Hamptons,

so it's kinda weird that
we're not in the Hamptons.

I don't want to make small
talk with you, all right?

Hannah, I'm sorry.

About the "spring breakers" comment?

'Cause that didn't offend
me. I think that movie

was a beautiful blend of art and commerce.

No, I mean... I mean,
I'm sorry for everything.

For everything that happened
the last time I saw you.

I feel terrible about all of it.

I think about you all the time,

and what are you doing?
And what's wrong with her?

And what's she eating?
And who she's mad at.

I just think about you all the
time and I miss you so much.

Gosh, I miss you, too.

- I really miss you.
- You do?

Every time I see something that
sucks, like, royally but subtly,

I think to myself, "only
Elijah would understand this."

And then I don't even remember why I'm mad.

Well, 'cause I had sex with Marnie.

- Yeah, no, I know.
- Okay, okay.

And Marnie is acting like
such a psychopathic nightmare.

Ugh, I can only imagine.

She's just, like, walking
around, bossing everybody around

like a mean, skinny miss Hannigan.

Yeah.

Why don't you come over?
Why don't you guys come over?

It'll fucking save the day.

Let's just forget everything and
come over and save me from this hell.

Yes.

- I love you.
- I love you.

What are you making?

It's called the North Fork Fizz.

Oh, that sounds so yummy.

I'm inventing it as we speak.

So, I gained 25 pounds,
but then I lost 30 pounds.

Oh, amazing. How did you do it?

The Victoria principal diet.

Wow, what does that consist of?

It's black coffee and you can have
one slice of turkey until 4:00 pm,

and then you can do whatever you want.

- Hannah, sorry to interrupt.
- I could actually do that.

Could you come do a tick
check on me in the other room?

- A tick check?
- Mm-hmm.

I was just rummaging outside and I
feel like I might have gotten a tick,

so I just need to talk to you in the
other room maybe so you can check.

- Okay.
- Oh.

- I'll be right back.
- Okay.

- What?
- I cannot believe you invited them.

What am I supposed to do, Marnie?
They kind of invited themselves.

And, anyway, we cannot put this
much pressure on our relationships.

This will really lighten the mood.

The mood is already plenty light.

I just really think this
is gonna be important

and this is gonna be healing.

Elijah was the beginning
of this whole rift.

I know, and that's why
it's so weird he's here.

Plus, they're a lot of
fun. They're theater people.

That's your favorite breed, okay?

Listen, Gerald's a choreographer,
Paul's an understudy,

Pal is a theater publicist.

He did "kinky boots," the
whole viral marketing campaign.

I can't believe that's who came after me.

Well, knowing Elijah, it was 11 closeted
math teachers who came after you,

but after that, it was
Pal, and he seems great.

Okay.

All right, who wants
another North Fork Fizz?

- I fucking do!
- Those things always make me sick.

- Thank you.
- Fill it up, please.

- I think they are so sweet.
- And thank you.

What are you making?

Um, it's a Julienne vegetable salad
from "the art of French cooking."

It's for four, so...

Uh, the vegetables are very thinly chopped.

Yeah, that's what it means
to Julienne something.

Look, Marnie, I'm really sorry
things turned out the way they did.

- Yeah, me, too.
- No.

Really, I mean it.

I regret it.

I do, too.

And I really hope we can be friends.

I really do.

I just have a new take on things.

I guess I'm in love, and I
just... It changed me, in a way.

I know it's stupid and
you're gonna make fun of me,

but he's been taking me to kabbalah classes

and I just... I'm trying
not to be so negative.

Yeah, that's, um... That's beautiful.

That's amazing.

So you're, like, in love with him.

Yes, I am.

- I mean, I haven't told him yet, but...
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But I will soon. I can't
keep it in for too long.

- No, you can't.
- Oh, my God. I love this song!

Shot, shot,
shot, shot, shot, shot!

She's in such a great place right now.

That's disgusting.

I'm so happy about you and Elijah.

Honestly, it's been a rough road for
him and he needed somebody like you.

Yeah, no, he's great. He's really great.

I don't know what the fuck
he does with his days, but...

Supposedly he's running a
semi-improvised dance troupe

and working at the glove
department at Barney's,

but whenever I call him, he's sleeping.

And by sleeping, I mean jerking off.

Well, my boyfriend, too,
jerks off quite a bit,

and I just thank him
for taking his energy...

At least half of it... Elsewhere.

Otherwise, I'd be a
pounded-out piece of meat.

Oh, my God.

Do you know who you remind me of?

This has been on my mind all
day and I just figured it out.

- Who?
- My friend Sadie.

- Really?
- Yeah, she's always trying new things.

She is such a dilettante.

Oh, my God. So funny, thank you.

She showers, like, once a month.

She's so crazy.

I love her. I love Sadie.

Hey, doesn't Hannah remind
you of crazy-ass Sadie?

Sadie is fat as shit.

Let's go on a house tour.

You are way skinnier than Sadie.

- Like, way skinnier.
- Thanks.

So, finally he called me at around noon,

and he was like, "hey, I think
we need to talk about some things.

I love you and I want to propose to you..."

What?

"But I think we need to talk
about a couple things first."

So I grill the pizzas and
I wait, and I wait and wait.

Finally, at around 10:00 pm,

he walks through the front
door with a friend from work

and starts packing up his things.

- While you were eating pizza?
- He does not say a word to me.

Me, in our apartment.

I'm standing there, he
doesn't say anything to me.

And then finally he gets to the door

and he's about to walk
out, and he turns around.

He looks me right in the eyes and he says,

"I don't love you and
I've never loved you."

Marnie, I'm so sorry. That's... that's,
like, the worst story ever. Truly.

Anyway, his business
went under or some shit.

And I hear he's, like,
a carpenter's apprentice.

He's working in, like, a sneaker store.

Ugh, good. I've always hated him.

What? I thought you guys
were really close in college.

No, that's when I thought
we were both closet cases.

We watched "wild things" once,

and I was pretty sure we were
gonna start jacking off together,

but then he started dating you

and I realized that his issues
were way more complicated

than just being gay.

- Hey, boo.
- Hi.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Oh, my gosh.

- Oh, Jesus.
- Oh, my gosh.

Gerald always does this
dance when he drinks.

It was the first dance
he ever did on Broadway,

so it's extremely emotional for him.

It's amazing.

- Is it?
- Yes.

I thought so, too, the first time I saw it.

But now I'm like, "how many times
do we need to see this dance?"

You are such a bitch. It's amazing.

Ray is encouraging me to explore the
more artistic sides of my personality.

I think he's right. We
should all be more creative.

- Who's Ray?
- Ray Ploshansky.

- Old man Ray?
- Yeah.

Since when are you hanging
out with old man Ray?

I'm gonna go have Gerald
teach me that dance.

Yes. Gerald.

- She's fucking him.
- I fucked her once.

- You did?
- Mm-hmm.

Come on, Hannah. It's
time for the rehearsal.

- The rehearsal?
- Whatever. It's, like, a fun thing to do.

You know what else would
be a fun thing to do is eat.

- Who else is fucking starving?
- You should just drink more.

I already feel pretty
loose. Dangerously loose.

Hannah, do you want me to stay sober?

Yes.

Because you know it's either me or
you who's gonna drink that drink.

Do you want that on your shoulders?

- Who's it gonna be? Who's it gonna be?
- Are you serious?

Do you want that on you?
Do you want that on you?

- No.
- Oh, my God. Relapse city.

- No.
- Here it comes. Here it comes.

- Call my sponsor. Oh, shit.
- No!

Please give this to me.

You're such a bitch.

You're a good friend.

So, let's do that one more time.
Okay, so, head to the right.

So, right shoulder, left
shoulder, head front.

Surprise.

Okay, no, no, uh-uh.
You can't make that face.

Close your... close.

Five, six, seven, eight.
"You're breaking my heart,

you're tearing it apart, so fuck you."

Left, right.

- Spank the ass.
- Slap it, slap it, slap it, go.

- Yes!
- Yes. Very good.

- Very nice, you all.
- Marnie!

I just think I have abandonment
issues, if I'm being totally honest.

And it's much more than I realize.

And they're all from my father, but
they just rear their heads in other ways.

Marnie, of course you do.

How could you not with
that asshole in your life?

You know what I mean?

And then, for me, I have the opposite thing
which is that it has been so hard for me

to get the space that
I need from my parents.

Loreen and tad are so involved.

They never gave me any
space to even read a book,

just calling, "Hannah, Hannah, Hannah."

- Oh, my God.
- And, so, when i was finally an adult,

I went to seize that space,

and I think you ended up
being a casualty of that.

And I feel so sorry for that.

Do not have any guilt about
this because I am okay.

I may not seem okay, and I might not
be okay now, but I am, like, okay.

I was dreading this trip.

I would've done anything not to be here,
but now I'm starting to think it's gonna be

one of the most meaningful
weekends of the summer.

That is so nice, seriously.

- I love you. I love you.
- I love you, too.

Pick one.

Pick one.

We have not assumed this
position in quite some time.

I suppose so. I guess that's right.

Hey, Elijah. Tell Paul what
you thought "inertia" meant.

He thought "inertia" meant
when you're moving too fast.

- I still think that.
- Thank you.

That's a perfectly
reasonable thing to think.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Oh, my God, you're so naughty.

- Hi.
- Oh, hello.

- It's just me.
- Yes, it is.

Do you know that you look like someone
mapplethorpe would've photographed?

I have no idea who that is.

He has the haircut.
That was your clue.

I don't like the way that Pal talks to you.

What do you mean?

I just don't like it. It's condescending.

It's not respectful.

Well, it doesn't feel great.

But I don't want to
break up with him either.

I'm not saying break up with him.

I'm saying talk to him about it.

I don't want you to think he's a bad
person 'cause he's not a bad person.

I don't think he's a bad person.

No, but I feel like you're just seeing him
at a time where he's not at his best.

- Hey, Hannah?
- Yeah?

Hi.

Could you come here really quickly?

Come in here.

Could you please just, like,
come here really quickly?

Okay.

- Hi.
- Hi. What's going on?

It's dinnertime.

Okay, so get everyone out of the pool.

No, no, no, it's dinnertime for us.

Stop touching my real boobs!

- So, you mean...
- Yeah.

Marnie, I'm not gonna kick everybody
out. They're having a really good time.

That would be really weird and rude.

I know, but I kinda thought they
were only gonna stay until dinner.

Why would you think that?

Because it's the time where the
four of us are going to heal.

But we already did our
healing. Earlier, remember?

We're both so sorry. I am so sorry.

Yes, you and I did, but
the four of us didn't.

Are you fucking serious?

- Yes, I'm fucking ser...
- Guys, dinner!

Dinner's done.

Cool. Really cool. That's classy.

- Thank you, Marnie.
- Welcome.

Hey, thank you.

- Thank you.
- Hi.

Hi.

- What's for dinner?
- What took so long, Marnie?

Wait, wait, wait. What's
this, a fucking kid's meal?

A fucking lean cuisine?

Am I on the zone diet?

Marnie, fuck.

I got four duck breasts for four people.

There are so many people. Hard times, Marn?

Wait, Pal, Pal. She cooked the
duck, so do your daffy duck.

No,
Marnie, please don't cook me.

Oh, my God, I don't wanna
die. I'm too young to die.

Oh, wait. Oh, this feels good.

Oh, my God!

Isn't it so good?

- That's Donald Duck.
- But you knew who he was doing.

Nope, you said Daffy Duck.

- Whatever, it's a duck.
- It's a duck.

Like what we're eating, sort of.

I think the duck turned
out fuckin' awesome.

- It's so good, Marnie.
- It's really good, yeah.

- I love it.
- No, no, no. No, no, no, don't.

I don't really like duck.

Nobody likes duck.

Are you ready?

Come on, Marnie. It's a four-person dance.

- We need you.
- I'm not in the mood.

- Come on, you're the best one.
- Ladies, can we do this?

- Yes.
- Fine.

Are you ready with the iPod?

- Yes, can we please start?
- Press play, please.

- Excellent.
- Thank you.

No time for text from mom.

It's on.

♪ You're breaking my heart ♪

♪ You're tearing it apart ♪
- Smile.

♪ so fuck you ♪

- Larry, moe, curly.
- Smile, ladies.

- Full out.
- Work it.

♪ All I want to do
is have a good time ♪

♪ now I'm blue... ♪

- Crazy.
- Piano. Right?

- Smack your ass. Are you guys dancing?
- Yeah.

- Yeah!
- ♪ you won't boogaloo... ♪

That's right.
- ♪ run down to tramps ♪

- ♪ have a dance or two, ooh... ♪
Breathe.

♪ You're breaking my heart ♪

♪ you're tearing it
apart, but fuck you... ♪

And pulse it. Yes. Yes.

♪ you're breaking my heart ♪

♪ you're tearing it apart ♪

♪ whoo-whoo. ♪

- We did it!
- Whoo!

That was so good.

- That was so good.
- Oh, my gosh. That was awesome.

I think if we could do it one more time,
we'll get it, like, really, really perfect.

I think it'll be awesome.

But we're not, like, trying
to make it to Broadway.

No, no, no, I know.

I know, no. It's just that, um...

There was this one moment
where you were on the four

when you were supposed to be on the
three, so there was this big hole in there.

Yeah, yeah, totally. I agree.

The three-count was really dead.

Yeah, I would say overall, though,
your performance was pretty good.

Yeah, but why does
everything have to be perfect?

- Like, it had a lot of spirit.
- No, I know.

It's just that if things can't be perfect,

maybe they could be as
close to perfect as possible.

Like when you have a dinner for four,

maybe you could have just, like,
a really perfect dinner party

for four people to really enjoy properly.

You're seriously mad I let
everyone stay for dinner?

Oh, my God.

- Wait, time-out.
- That was dinner? -

Okay, you know what? Let's just
Google map a domino's. That's fun.

We're in the North Fork, Boo.
They don't have domino's.

Dinner was supposed to
be our time for honesty.

And I'm really sorry, you
guys. This is not about you.

This is between us, but then you
invited the cast of "magic Mike."

Marnie, I don't feel like being honest.

Why not? Being honest is fun.

What are you talking about, Shosh?

I'm talking about the fact that
you're a fucking narcissist.

Seriously, I have never met anyone else

who thinks their own life
is so fucking fascinating.

I wanted to fall asleep
in my own vomit all day

listening to you talk about how you
bruise more easily than other people.

- Are you serious?
- Mm-hmm.

Okay, well, people have
been calling me a narcissist

since I was three, so it
doesn't really upset me.

You've gotta choose
something more creative.

Yeah, it really has no effect on you.

Now you.

So we're untabling our issues, then?

I wanted to do this at dinner.

Oh, my God. Can you chill
the fuck out about dinner?

Seriously, that duck
tasted like a used condom

and I want to forget about it.

Shosh has gone totally insane.

I don't know. Maybe she's gone sane.

You guys never listen to me.

You treat me like I'm a fucking cab driver.

Seriously, you have entire conversations
in front of me like I am invisible.

And sometimes I wonder if my social anxiety
is holding me back from meeting the people

who would actually be right for me

instead of a bunch of fucking
whiny nothings as friends.

Well, maybe Shosh has a point.
I mean, it's not like the four of us

have had any real fun together
in the last, what, two years?

That is not true.

Name one fun thing.

This trip, if we had
done anything I planned.

Oh, my God!

Hey, Marnie.

You know, I think you should
process what you just said

because, you know, happiness is
about appreciating what you have.

- Yes.
- What is that, like, some aa bullshit?

Seriously, Jessa goes to
rehab for five fucking seconds

and we have to listen to
everything she comes up with.

- Shosh, you're a cruel drunk.
- It's crazy.

She's a cruel drunk and she's
also not an intellectual.

Actually, she is.

I'm gonna stick up for Shosh on this one

and say that I have seen her
read the newspaper on her phone.

Then why, when I'm around her, do I
feel like my brain is gonna atrophy?

I would call you a little unstimulating.

"Unstimulating"?

What, are we in, like, a
fucking Jane Austen novel?

What, do I want to be like you?

Like, mentally ill and miserable?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, when did we start
with all of this name-calling, guys?

We didn't start with the name-calling.
Shosh started with the name-calling.

Um, I did not start with the name-calling.

I started with your fucking
honesty idea, miss tan legs.

I've never talked to you that way.

You are tortured by self-doubt and fear,
and it is not pleasant to be around.

That is really fucking mean.

- That is mean.
- It is really mean,

what you just said, Shoshanna.

I'm sorry my heart was fucking
broken after Charlie dumped me.

Well, we would have no way of knowing that

because the only issues you ever
talk about are your issues with me.

Seriously, we've known each
other for almost eight years.

I've been on this planet for 25, and
I'm not showing any signs of changing.

Look, all you've ever
done is talk about the fact

that you are changing,
that you want to change,

self-improvement, all that bullshit.

So I get on board with it
and thus all you've done

for the past couple of
years is disappoint me.

Well, then maybe you should
lower your expectations.

I can't lower them any further.

Well, maybe you should try what I do,

which is I don't expect
anything from any of you.

I'm so fucking sick of all of you.

I really miss my boyfriend...

Who asks me for nothing,
so I give him everything.

So, um, I guess what I would like is, um...

Is just for you to be
a little more respectful of me.

When have I ever been
disrespectful of you?

Well, I... it... It was something that...

It was something that Hannah had noticed.

- Hannah?
- And then it made me...

I'm... wait. I'm sorry,
something that Hannah said?

Are you kidding me?

That is the most ridiculous girl
I've ever met in my entire life.

You're taking advice from Hannah?

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Yeah, um...

I just wanna feel comfortable...

- Around you all the time...
- Mm-hmm.

Because I love you.

Oh.

Wow, Elijah.

Look, I'm starting to think
this isn't what you think it is.

I mean, maybe we shouldn't do this,

because if you want something
that I can't give you...

- No. No, no, no.
- Then I don't want to lead you on.

That's not... That's not... I think...

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, I think that we...

- That's not what I meant.
- Ok...

That's not what I meant.

Okay, 'cause I... I
don't want you to feel...

- No, it's totally fine.
- I don't want you to feel...

- Let's just forget it. Forget it.
- Okay.

- Are you sure?
- Yep.

- Are you gonna be okay with this?
- I'm great.

- Shh.
- Okay.

That's fine, then.

The truth is, I don't
think you're very talented.

What? Hey, are you kidding me?

I spent $80,000 on a theater bfa.

Of course I am talented, Gerald.

♪ How are you doing? ♪

♪ How are you doing? ♪

♪ I'm fine ♪
♪ What about you? ♪

♪ I'm fine, too ♪

♪ How is it going? ♪

♪ How is it going? ♪

♪ Yes, it goes ♪
♪ What about you? ♪

♪ It goes for me, too ♪

♪ Nothing new ♪

♪ Can't complain ♪

♪ Skies are blue ♪

- ♪ Sunshine ♪
- ♪ No rain ♪

♪ Something to eat ♪

♪ Watch a show ♪

♪ After that I'll sleep like a baby ♪

♪ What are you up to? ♪

♪ What are you up to? ♪

♪ I'm fine, what about you? ♪

♪ I'm fine, what about you? ♪

♪ I'm fine, what about you? ♪

♪ I'm fine, what about you? ♪

♪ Me, too ♪

♪ Me, too ♪

♪ Me, too. ♪

www.tvsubtitles.net