Girls (2012–2017): Season 3, Episode 4 - Dead Inside - full transcript

Hannah's editor, David, dies, but Hannah's more concerned with what will happen to her e-book. Jessa finds out that a friend from the past faked her own death. Marnie quits her job at Ray's coffee shop.

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Who did you just give
our address to?

My... sister.

I promise I won't
***

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__

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I'm sorry, I can't.
Um...

I don't think I want
to be friends with you.



- Hi.
- Hi.

I'm so glad you could make it.

Then you should've
invited me.

__

__

- Ow!
- I've never felt more alive.

__

No! What did you do?

I'm here to see
David Pressler-Goings.

He's not in yet.

Oh. Okay, good.

I thought I was late.

You are.
He's just not in yet.

Okay, well, I'm just gonna have
a seat in the reception area.



Mm.

What?

Look, I've got him
on the phone for you now.

- Okay?
- Oh, okay.

Wait, what?

Okay.

Millstreet. No, I just heard that myself.

Nobody here knows
much of anything yet.

I'll call you back.

- What did you say?

Oh.

Millstreet.

Yeah, but that's
all I know right now.

That's all any of us know.

I'm trying to find out.
I'll call you back.

Excuse me?

- I was just wondering...
- I can't... not now. I just... not now.

Yeah, I just wanted
to know if it was safe

to be on this floor of the building.

Millstreet.
No.

No, not yet.

Well, that's all I know.

Well, I don't know yet.
If I don't know...

- Morning, Louise.
- I'll call you back.

- Hi, Stacia.
- Louise, are you all right?

David is dead.

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, my God.

Millstreet.

♪ It was the best of times,
it was the worst of times ♪

♪ I had to kill
the new sheriff in town ♪

♪ She was gonna try
to keep me ♪

♪ You go-go down,
you go-go down ♪

♪ In a dream,
you will never be down ♪

♪ Somehow, somehow ♪

♪ Another way to make
the picture clearer... ♪

- Faster, better.
- ♪ Point a gun at the mirror ♪

♪ Heart's so dark,
make dirt look clean... ♪

And no one explains
what's happening,

and then they say he's dead.

Yeah. Hannah, it's
something that happens.

It's like jury duty
or, you know, floods.

- They happen.
- It's just so insane.

We had a meeting, and then he
had to reschedule the meeting

'cause he was dead.

Yeah, he's dead.

And that's why
he couldn't come.

It must've been so heavy that
moment that it was all going down.

Think about that.

I just hope when I die
that I don't see it coming.

I hope I'm already dead,
and then five minutes later,

I'm like, "What the fuck
just happened?"

You know, I kind of look
forward to the day that I die.

You do not.
Get real.

I do. If you think about
it, time isn't linear.

Every moment that's ever happened
or that will ever happen

is happening right now.

We just choose
to live in this moment

to create some illusion
of continuity.

So, really,
we have already died

and we've also
not yet been born.

Well, okay, in my linear
conception of time,

I wonder what's...

Holy fucking shit,
look what I just found.

Oh, my God.

Is that a picture of Tom Hanks?

- Yeah.
- I don't want it.

- I'll take it.
- Oh, hey, Jessa.

How's your life of doing
absolutely fucking nothing?

Oh, it's great.
How's your penis?

Good. You want me to put
it on your shoulder?

David's dead.

Who's David?

My editor, David.
He's dead.

Fuck, Hannah, baby.

That sucks shit.

Yeah, he's dead.

It was so crazy. Everyone was
just running around the office

and freaking out and screaming

and acting like their world
had gone out of orbit and...

It's like everyone comes in
thinking it's a normal day

and then they leave
'cause he's dead.

What is a normal day,
though, really?

What did you do?

I mean, just amidst all that
chaos and insanity, I left.

What else was I supposed to do?

And no one
even began to tell me

what was next
for my e-book.

- What?
- I know.

And so I'm left wondering
when and how and to whom

I can even bring this up
to get some answers.

Well, they probably weren't
thinking about your book, Hannah,

and I pretty much can't
believe you are either.

You knew someone.
Like, really knew him.

He came to your birthday
party, et cetera.

He wasn't invited
to my birthday party.

What?

I think Adam's feeling is that
you're callous and disconnected.

Are you feeling anything?

Yes.

Beyond wondering when your
book is gonna hit the stands?

It's an e-book, Adam.

It's never gonna hit the stands

'cause there are no stands
and you know that.

One thing we do know...

life will give you whatever
experience is most helpful

for the evolution
of your consciousness.

How do you know this is
the experience you need?

Because this is the experience
you're having at this moment.

From the interview...

Motherfucker.

Okay, David's body was found
facedown in the Hudson River

right by Chelsea Piers,
just floating there.

Well, that's fucking terrible.

And Gawker is reporting
that they won't be releasing

the toxicology report at all,
so we're not gonna know if it...

- Gawker?
- Yeah.

You're getting
your news from Gawker?

They report on media news
and I am a mediaist,

so it's where
I've gotta get my news.

Okay, when you die,
how would you feel

if a bunch of
judgmental creeps,

celibate against their will,

snarkily reported on every fucking
detail of your body decomposing?

Well, that's not
what's happening here.

This is a very,
very nice eulogy.

Listen.
"Goings, Goings, Gone...

publishing's most
flamboyant power player

makes a waterlogged exit worthy of
a Bret Easton Ellis character."

That's fucked, Hannah.

Those are a bunch
of jealous people

who make a living appealing
to our basest desire

to see each other kicked
while we're down.

I don't agree, okay?

It's a web portal that
celebrates the written word.

And its sister site, Jezebel,

is a place feminists can
go to support one another,

which we need in this modern
world full of slut-shaming and...

Well, I think that shit
gets into your head

and makes you
one of the bad guys.

I think that you need
a place to go

and gather up the information
that's important to your industry

and then discuss it with other
like-minded individuals.

That's why the comments board
is so important to me

and why I've made
so many e-friends.

Why are we fighting about this?

Why aren't you
mourning quietly?

I feel like my
bandana collection is, like,

my most developed collection.

I mean, my array
of bandanas is insane.

Did you ever have
a friend who died?

Uh, yes, actually.
In high school,

my friend Kelly
was in a car accident.

Oh, that's awful.

How did you feel?

Mm, sad.

But then I kind of, like, took over
her position in the friend group.

Like, we were always truly meant
to be a fivesome, not a sixsome.

The group didn't
really have room

for, like, you know, two
practical-yet-goofy confidants.

I do miss her, though.

Why? Do you know
someone who died?

Yeah, actually.
My friend Season.

She was my favorite friend.

She was so funny and cute,

and I used to love her a lot.

I just used to tickle her
all the time.

You know, I don't even
have a picture of her.

How did she die?

Uh, she, like, choked
on vomit or something.

You should visit her mom,

or, like, her grave
if her mom is dead

and bring flowers, or, like,
her Facebook In Memoriam site.

- Yeah, maybe.
- No, seriously.

Like, you need to process this.
You need to grieve it out.

Like, when Kelly died, I wrote
a book of poems about her.

Who's Kelly?

My friend in high
school who died.

You had a friend who died?

We literally just had
this conversation.

Where are you headed?

I'm gonna go work
an extra shift at Ray's.

He's understaffed anyway.

It doesn't really seem like
I should quit my day job.

Don't talk like that.

Well, what am I supposed
to talk like?

No one will tell me
anything about my book.

Really, Adam?
Still too soon for you?

Dude, cut me a fucking break.
Why are you mad at me?

I'm not mad.

- I'm scared.
- You're scared?

What are you scared of?

Of how you'd act if something,
like, real happened to us.

Like, if I died, would you just be
like, "Oh, I hope I can make rent."

If you died, I would be
extremely disoriented,

extremely sad,

and I would also be anxious about
how I would make rent, yes.

"Extremely sad"?

Uh, yeah, if you died,
I'd be extremely sad.

If you died,
the world would blur.

I wouldn't know
what a tree was.

Well, that's really nice.
It makes me feel very good.

You know, I think all the time about
what I'd say at your funeral,

about how I'd say that you were
my partner and you were my lover

and how one summer you lived in
a tent on a roof in Bed-Stuy

and you drank rainwater.

I don't know.

I think about you dying
all the time.

So, I lost a friend yesterday.

Close friend.

Marnie finally decided
to throw in the towel?

Uh, no, Ray, it was
my editor and collaborator,

David Pressler-Goings.

He was found facedown
in the Hudson River

and Gawker is saying
it's not drugs,

but we in the literary
community

are left scratching our heads.

- Jesus.
- Thank you.

Thanks.

How do you feel?
Do you want to go home?

You know, I
actually feel nothing.

Like, I literally feel nothing.

Like, maybe I'm numb,
but I don't even feel numb.

I feel nothing.

But, yeah, I would
love to go home

if that's okay with you.

Hannah, why don't you
place just one crumb

of basic human compassion

on this fat-free muffin
of sociopathic detachment?

- See how it tastes.
- You sound like Adam.

It's like there's more than
one way to feel something.

Do you feel something every single
time someone you kind of know dies?

I don't know. Why don't you
try it and we'll find out?

Hannah, you don't think
it's slightly odd

that I feel worse
than you do right now,

and the one time
I met this dude,

he hurled me across the room
into a small table?

Hey!

It's Jessa.

Yeah, I know,
it's been a very long time.

I, um... I...

I know, I can't believe
I am still alive either.

Um, so, speaking of which,

listen, I really
wanted to visit

Season's tomb.

Season, her sarcophagus.

Like, her grave.
Where...

What do you mean?

What?

What?

- Oh, hey, Laird.
- Hey, Hannah.

Uh, you've... you've
caught me spiffing.

- Looks amazing.
- Thank you.

I thought the halls
could use a little art.

- How are you?
- Uh, I'm okay.

I don't want to be
a total downer,

but I lost a close
friend yesterday.

I'm so sorry to hear that.

- That's okay, Laird.
- Very sorry.

- Thank you.
- So sorry to hear that. That's terrible.

Thank you.

I'm just...
I'm just sorry.

- I really don't care.
- Okay.

It's my first death,
so I'm kinda numbed.

Yeah, I get it,

and you're just gonna get number when
it all starts to come like a waterfall.

My whole life has been death.

Everyone around me has died.

Sometimes at dinner when
I'm sitting at my table,

I just imagine I am in dialogue
with all my dead ones.

Uh, who do you know who's died?

Literally everyone.

Even this lady has died.

- Oh, my God.
- Mm-hmm, it's my turtle.

My turtle has died.

And I didn't even think
that was possible.

I'm so sorry, Laird. That's just...

That's the fucking worst.

Hey, Caroline. Laird was
just showing me his...

It's a turtle carcass.
It's my turtle carcass.

Yeah.

Wow, how totally beautiful.

Thank you.

Hey, whatcha doing?

Just heading out for my
afternoon constitutional.

- Cool.
- Come with me. I'll buy you a cup of tea.

Okay.

Will you join us, odd face?

That'd be great.

Uh, this is not
an urgent project,

but it is something
I'd like to return to.

Oh, and bring
your turtle, please.

You know, I just don't want
to be considered a monster

for caring what happens
to my work.

I've always been incredibly
invested in my work

and knew it would
be really hard

for whatever man
ended up with me.

- I feel that, and I admire it.
- Thank you.

I'm surprised you're not
quizzing me more about Adam,

like all his old lovers and what
he was like in the school play

and what he used to call his
tiny little penis as a child.

Mine was Nickel the Pickle.

So, now are you gonna call
me self-involved, too?

'Cause I'm ready for it.

No, I'm gonna call you secure.

Follow me.

Whose house is this?

It's my house.

What... what the fuck
is going on?

Open the door.

I can't believe you did this.

I don't even know
how you did this.

You had a funeral.

You sent me an invitation.

Did you have a fake funeral?

We knew you wouldn't come.

I was a drug addict,
and you were a total enabler.

That's bullshit, Season.

I told you I needed counseling

and you took me
to an ayahuasca ceremony.

- Can I pick up your baby?
- No, you can't.

I really missed you.

I...

- I know.
- Hey, honey.

Oh.

- Hey.
- Hi.

- Hi.
- Hey.

This is Jessa.

- Jessa from...
- Mm-hmm, yeah.

- Do I have to pretend that...
- That she's dead?

No, I kinda get
the sense she's alive.

Okay, good, 'cause for a second

I thought I had to pretend
that she was a ghost,

and I don't know if I would have
been able to pull that off.

Ahem.

I'm gonna grab some OJ.

It's nice to meet you, Jessa.

Looks like you've
got it all figured out,

with your brownstone
and your baby

and your cool-looking
husband.

Don't call me when
your life's in shambles.

I won't.

None of this is gonna work
out for you, by the way.

Here is your tricolore,
and here's your... thing.

- Thanks, can I just get a small...
- Yeah, one second.

♪ What I am is what I am ♪

♪ Are you what you are
or what? ♪

♪ What I am is what I am

♪ Are you what you are or...

- Look at that.
- Oh, it's so sad.

Knock, knock.

Hey, Marn.

What's up? I was just showing
Herm your, uh, music.

You were showing him
my music fail?

- Is that what you guys were doing?
- I think it's great.

You actually have a better understanding
of that song than Edie Brickell did.

- Oh, fuck you, Hermie.
- Hey, come on.

Why would you
show him this video, Ray?

Because it's a bold
and pioneering

form of self-expression.

Brickell sang it
with, like, a playful vibe,

but it's actually
much more severe.

It's about knowing...
what you are.

Right, right.

And about me knowing what I am

and asking if you are
what you are.

Or what?

That's so cute, you two.

That's not even
fucking original.

You don't think I've heard
that in the last couple weeks?

- Marnie, come on.
- No, seriously.

You think my life is so funny.

Like, "Oh, let's make fun
of the girl

who took a risk and put herself
out there creatively."

Which, by the way, is not something
either of you have to worry about

because no one wants to see you
and you can't do anything.

Okay, Marnie, maybe you should
take the rest of the day off.

Maybe you should take
the rest of the day off.

Do you even want
to work here anymore?

Of course I don't
want to work here.

This place fucking sucks.
No one wants to work here.

Okay.

All right, well, I guess
that settles it, then.

- Great.
- Great.

- Thank you.
- Fantastic. You're welcome.

Consider this
a community service.

I am so done. Do you
know what kind of work

I am qualified to do
out in the world?

No idea whatsoever.

- The kind of people that want me?
- Why don't you clue us in?

We don't have
the faintest clue.

Fancy people
wanna work with me,

so I'm gonna give them that pleasure
and I'm gonna go work with them.

So fuck you both,
have a nice day,

enjoy the rest of the video.

Hey, Marn?

Wait! Marnie!

What just happened?

Ah!

♪ They grin, but they
don't mean it ♪

♪ Sing, but they
don't feel it ♪

♪ Gone, but they don't see it ♪

♪ They can call,
but they can't heed it ♪

♪ Think, but they
don't speak it ♪

♪ There's a beast eating
every bit of beauty ♪

♪ And, yes, you feed it... ♪

♪ I'm not
a finger-pointer ♪

♪ I will not cry your name ♪

♪ But, yeah,
brothers and sisters ♪

♪ We all one 'n' the same

♪ When my sister suffers

- ♪ I am my mother's child... ♪
- Oh!

♪ All I wanna do is look in someone's eyes and say ♪

♪ Somehow we better speak it ♪

♪ We're scared
someone will tweet it ♪

♪ It's on the wall,
but you won't read it... ♪

Very sorry about that.

♪ We all dread to repeat it ♪

♪ There's a beast eating
every bit of beauty ♪

♪ And, yes, we all feed it. ♪

You know, medication
did make me feel less.

- It did?
- Yeah.

See, that's really
not good for a writer.

Yeah, but it's
really good for a person.

It's too exhausting
feeling all that.

I mean, God, I would
wake up happy,

eat breakfast despondent,

wonder about eternity
on the walk to work,

and then feel comfortably
numb for hours.

It's just too much, the
roller coaster of it all.

I wanted to die.

See, when I was doing so badly,

I couldn't see outside myself,

and now I can, but I don't
even know if it's any better

'cause Adam's gonna figure out
what I'm actually like

and there's no way
he's gonna like it

because he has
such a depth of feeling,

and no one can even rival that.

I definitely can't,

and soon he's gonna
get bored and feel stifled

by being with someone
who can't match

his strength of emotion.

Did Adam ever tell you
about Margaret?

Mm-mm. Is she an ex? 'Cause I
don't care about that stuff.

- I just don't even ask.
- No, she was our cousin.

But she died when she was 12.

Muscular dystrophy.

That's awful.
I'm so sorry.

It was really awful, but from the
time she was five years old,

he started going over there
every single day,

and he would sit there
in the living room

next to her hospital bed
holding her hand,

playing with her.

He did anything she asked.

He would dance like a princess
for hours if she wanted him to,

which, you can imagine,
he was really good at that.

But all she wanted to do,
really, before she died,

was go to a real high
school dance, you know?

So, Adam, his senior year,

told his girlfriend that he wasn't
gonna take her to the dance,

and instead he went out
and he spent all of his savings

from working
at the supermarket.

He bought Margaret
this beautiful,

teeny-tiny
little dress

and he wheeled her
onto that dance floor,

lifted her into his arms
for the final sweeping song.

When she died
the following week,

she was clutching
the wilted corsage

he had given her in one hand

while holding his in the other.

That sucks.

It's a rough one, but I really
thought you should know.

Wait, so was it a tiny dress because
she was, like, tiny from the disease,

or was it like a...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.
What?

I just didn't know if the disease
had made her really tiny.

Oh, my God.

You know what?
Now it makes sense

why Adam's being so irrational.

This puts it all
into perspective.

No, it doesn't,
because I made it up!

What?

- Yes, I made it up...
- What?

And you didn't
even shed a tear.

Your little brow
didn't even furrow.

That's so fucked up!

- That is so fucked up!
- Are you serious?

What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?
Nothing's wrong with me.

Oh, my God.

It's cool, man.
I like you.

Laird, it's fake.
It's not real.

Just 'cause it's fake doesn't
mean I don't feel it.

Hey.

Hey.

I don't know how
you're feeling now,

but I think that
I was just shocked...

about how random,
uh, life can be...

and how, um...

one day you can just be
walking around talking,

using your gay phone app,

and then the next, you're, you
know, facedown in a river,

and no one has a good
explanation for what...

It always takes me
a little while

to process my emotions.

And I don't...

I really liked David.

I really felt connected to him

and very grateful about how
supportive he had been with me,

and it's just hard
to realize that my...

champion... is gone.

I feel like...

I think I should
tell you about Margaret.

She was my cousin,
and she died.

When she was 12, I was 17,
she had muscular dystrophy,

which she had always had
since she was born.

We lived next door
to each other,

so we spent a lot
of time together...

just playing and talking.

You know, everyone always
knew that she was gonna die,

and also she always knew
that she was gonna die,

so, imagine living
your life that way

from the time that you're born.

Knowing that you're not
gonna get to do anything

that anybody else gets to do.

And all that she wanted
was to go to a senior prom.

So I took her to mine.

She looked so cute
in this little dress...

♪ I got some troubles,
but they won't last ♪

♪ I'm gonna lay right
down here in the grass ♪

♪ And pretty soon,
all my troubles will pass ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm in shoo-shoo-shoo,
shoo-shoo-shoo ♪

♪ Shoo, shoo-shoo,
shoo-shoo, shoo, Sugar Town ♪

♪ I never had a dog
that liked me some ♪

♪ Never had a friend
or wanted one ♪

♪ So I just lay back
and laugh at the sun ♪

♪ 'Cause I'm in shoo-shoo-shoo,
shoo-shoo-shoo ♪

♪ Shoo, shoo-shoo,
shoo-shoo, shoo, Sugar Town ♪

♪ Yesterday, it rained
in Tennessee ♪

♪ I heard it also rained
in Tallahassee ♪

♪ But not a drop fell
on little old me ♪

♪ 'Cause I was in shoo-shoo-shoo,
shoo-shoo-shoo ♪

♪ Shoo, shoo-shoo,
shoo-shoo, shoo, Sugar Town ♪

Best watched using Open Subtitles MKV Player

♪ And, yes, we all feed it. ♪

You know, medication
did make me feel less.

- It did?
- Yeah.

See, that's really
not good for a writer.

Yeah, but it's
really good for a person.

It's too exhausting
feeling all that.

I mean, God, I would
wake up happy,

eat breakfast despondent,

wonder about eternity
on the walk to work,

and then feel comfortably
numb for hours.

It's just too much, the
roller coaster of it all.

I wanted to die.

See, when I was doing so badly,

I couldn't see outside myself,

and now I can, but I don't
even know if it's any better

'cause Adam's gonna figure out
what I'm actually like

and there's no way
he's gonna like it

because he has
such a depth of feeling,

and no one can even rival that.

I definitely can't,

and soon he's gonna
get bored and feel stifled

by being with someone
who can't match

his strength of emotion.

Did Adam ever tell you
about Margaret?

Mm-mm. Is she an ex? 'Cause I
don't care about that stuff.

- I just don't even ask.
- No, she was our cousin.

But she died when she was 12.

Muscular dystrophy.

That's awful.
I'm so sorry.

It was really awful, but from the
time she was five years old,

he started going over there
every single day,

and he would sit there
in the living room

next to her hospital bed
holding her hand,

playing with her.

He did anything she asked.

He would dance like a princess
for hours if she wanted him to,

which, you can imagine,
he was really good at that.

But all she wanted to do,
really, before she died,

was go to a real high
school dance, you know?

So, Adam, his senior year,

told his girlfriend that he wasn't
gonna take her to the dance,

and instead he went out
and he spent all of his savings

from working
at the supermarket.

He bought Margaret
this beautiful,

teeny-tiny
little dress

and he wheeled her
onto that dance floor,

lifted her into his arms
for the final sweeping song.

When she died
the following week,

she was clutching
the wilted corsage

he had given her in one hand

while holding his in the other.

That sucks.

It's a rough one, but I really
thought you should know.

Wait, so was it a tiny dress because
she was, like, tiny from the disease,

or was it like a...

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.
What?

I just didn't know if the disease
had made her really tiny.

Oh, my God.

You know what?
Now it makes sense

why Adam's being so irrational.

This puts it all
into perspective.

No, it doesn't,
because I made it up!

What?

- Yes, I made it up...
- What?

And you didn't
even shed a tear.

Your little brow
didn't even furrow.

That's so fucked up!

- That is so fucked up!
- Are you serious?

What is wrong with you?

What's wrong with you?
Nothing's wrong with me.

Oh, my God.

It's cool, man.
I like you.

Laird, it's fake.
It's not real.

Just 'cause it's fake doesn't
mean I don't feel it.

Hey.

Hey.

I don't know how
you're feeling now,

but I think that
I was just shocked...

about how random,
uh, life can be...

and how, um...

one day you can just be
walking around talking,

using your gay phone app,

and then the next, you're, you
know, facedown in a river,

and no one has a good
explanation for what...

It always takes me
a little while

to process my emotions.

And I don't...

I really liked David.

I really felt connected to him

and very grateful about how
supportive he had been with me,

and it's just hard
to realize that my...

champion... is gone.

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