Girls (2012–2017): Season 2, Episode 7 - Video Games - full transcript

Are you sure your dad
knew we were coming?

Yeah.
He's always late.

It's like my worst
nightmare as a kid--

being the last one to be picked up

from, like, school or some social event.

And then all these adults
know about your sad home life

and your irresponsible parents.

I think it's only bad when
the weird sub molests you.

You were molested by a weird sub?

Yeah. No.
I don't know.

Maybe.
Probably.



I have to pee so badly, it's crazy.

I can't believe this
station has no bathroom.

Just go--
just go there.

You want me to cross the tracks?

Yeah, walk across the tracks.

It's not gonna kill you.

And step on the third rail, potentially?

We're not in New York City.

There is no third rail, Hannah.

Fine.
If you think it's okay.

That's how badly I need to pee.

You still have your UTI?

I'm pretty sure it's gone.

You know, I heard the best
way to get rid of that



is to stick garlic in your pussy.

- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

But I think you have to,
like, put a whole clove.

Like, really shove it up there.

Okay, I'm gonna pee now.

Is anybody coming?

Nope.

All right, still no one?

Okay, your dad
is really, really late.

It's really lame
that that bothers you.

Thanks for coming with me, though.

No problem.

I thought you and your dad
weren't speaking.

Yeah, he wants me to see his house

and see his new girlfriend,

which is odd because
I've met her three times,

which should be more than enough.

But don't they have, like,
a five-year-old daughter or?

No, that was the last one.
This is Petula.

Well, what happened to
the five-year-old daughter?

Uh, no one speaks to her.

I wonder if her name is still Lemon.

Well, after all the really shitty
stuff you've been through lately,

you really want to see your dad?

I don't know,
I just--

the other night, I got a text from him,

which are few and far between,

and it was a bunch of letters.

And I didn't understand it,
but it felt like something.

He was trying to tell me something,

so I thought it was a sign.

Maybe he just sent you a butt text.

Are you suggesting it was an accident?

I mean, just all of the
random letters and numbers,

it just sounds like
maybe he didn't--

Right.
That's really mean.

Thanks.

- Hi, Dad.
- Hello, my darling.

Hi, Mr. Johansson.
I'm Hannah.

I don't know if you remember me.

Look at you, you beautiful creation.

I'm so sorry I'm running late.

I was just at-- I had
a small errand to do.

Should've just taken a minute,

but the vacuum repairman was a fuckwit.

And then I got stuck

behind a Camry, of course.

Why of course a Camry?

Yeah, it's a theory he has.

It's not a theory.
Camry drivers are cunts.

Of course there's all
these old computers here, so--

Oh, my God.
Look at those.

Is that really what computers
used to look like?

I mean, those look like doghouses.

Why do you have all of these, Dad?

Well, Petula wants me to get
rid of them, but I can't.

I don't want people
reading my old ideas.

This isn't gonna work, so take this,

get in the front with Sarah.

So, darlin', tell me something.

- Did you go to Ibiza?
- Yeah.

- With Karen?
- Karen and Tony.

Oh, Tony D.
or Tony T.?

Both Tonys and Zorab.

- Oh, lovely.
- Yeah, we really mashed it in.

- They're gorgeous blokes.
- Oh, yeah.

- Now, did you get tan?
- Oh, yeah.

I've got a bit of a burn, but it's
gonna turn into a tan, innit?

Yeah,
it's gonna turn into a tan, innit?

You eat a little bit of chorizo?

Oh, yeah.
You know chorizo-- love it.

It tastes really expensive, don't it?

What accents are you guys doing?

Just 'cause I don't like
not getting jokes.

You know, Tony D.,
he only has eyes for you.

He only has "ice" for me?

- Just ice? Got a bit of ice?
- He's only got ice.

Oh, my God.
Look at you.

Look at you.

You-- you're like
the most perfect

black pearl.

I'm so sorry about your marriage.

Thanks, Petula.

Yeah, I shoulda said something.

We were very happy about your marriage.
Really.

And then s-sad...

about your marriage.

Thanks.
Um, this is Hannah.

Hi.

Oh.

Of course you're here, too.

Thank you.

What do you mean?

Well, I was so nervous
about seeing Jessa

because I know she hates me

and she hasn't seen
her dad in for so long

and so I prayed.

And here--

I manifested
the solution-- you.

You're the cushion.

I'm the cushion.

You're the cushion.

I love you!

Are you sure that I'm the cushion?

Yes.
You're the cushion.

Well, you know,

I've never done it before,

but I definitely am up for it.

You are the cushion.

This fucking lawn.

It uses, like, 800 gallons of water.

Why haven't you just let
it get brown and die?

You know I want to, don't you?

But she won't fucking let me.

It's a living thing.
It grows, it lives.

Fucking--

I know other things
that are living and growing.

They don't get treated
as well as this fucking lawn.

He was just feeling really helpless,

and I said, "Frank, get it together.

This is just a video game
that needs to be conquered.

This is all
one big simulation."

We all just need to grow a pair
and get to the next level.

You know what I mean?

If you're not with me,
you're against me.

And I'm gonna take you
down-- bam-bam-bam.

What a totally beautiful metaphor.

Oh, it's not a metaphor.

Oh. Um...

Do you have any scientific evidence

that life is just a video game?

'Cause I just--

I've never thought about it.

It actually sounds
kind of real and stressful.

Of course not.
Because scientists lie.

And then he said,
"Let's call this."

You know,
"Let's dead this."

You know, that's what he said.

But he didn't want
to work on it, you know?

He didn't--

it was like he didn't even remember

that we took vows.

You know?

Well, maybe on some level you wanted it.

Because you know we're
not like other people.

No.
We're not, are we?

Frank!

Frank!

Frank, come meet Hannah.

This is my baby.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Nice to meet you.
I'm Hannah.

I really like the way you
fold down your turtleneck.

Really?

This was a total accident that happened.

This towel is so small and thin.

It's like it's for a Borrower.

I can't take a shower with this.

I think it's really dirty, too.

Oh, God!

Look at this hairball.

That thing's crazy.

Oh, my God.
This place is filthy.

I mean, my dad never cleans

and he won't get a housekeeper because,

I don't know, he doesn't want
people knowing his business.

What do you think of Frank?

I guess I can just never tell if guys

are, like, attractive in a loserly way

or it's like they're just losers.

Hannah, he had camel toe.

Yeah, you're probably right.

Stop it!

Your dad seems really happy with Petula.

How did you say they met again?

She was the masseuse
at the last rehab he was at.

And then he decided
rehab was a crock of shit

and they ran off together.

What's that?

"Penthouse" from 1979.

You think that's Frank's?

No, it's too good for Frank.

Oh, my God.

- Look at that bush.
- Oh, my God.

You would, like,
fully get lost in that bush.

It's like a walkabout situation.

- It's horrifying.
- I know.

- They're crazy vaginas.
- They are not crazy.

They're the way they're meant to be.

I don't even think I could
grow a bush like that.

These women should be really
proud because, in a way,

it's the most noble thing
you can do--

is to help a boy find his sexuality.

Help a boy become a man, you know?

Probably the most noble.

You know, aside from being, like,
a doctor or a firefighter--

Who says she's not a doctor?

Look, I really don't
remember the incident

that you're talking about, but...

You told me I was being rude

and then you sent me to sit
on a stool in the corner.

And then you threw a bit
of chewed steak at me.

Well, I don't remember
everything about the old days,

but if you say I did it,
then I suppose I did it.

You know, your father's changed a lot.

We did this workshop in Newark

that totally opened us up to a new way.

It was just incredible.

And my anger just evaporated
into the atmosphere.

I'm no longer angry.
I released.

He's not angry anymore.

Um, hey, I was just wondering.

Is this rabbit the same rabbit

that we were feeding and petting

in a loving way this morning?

Yeah.

Okay, so, just--
you know, it's not--

I might rather eat a different thing.

I'm total-- completely
from a nonjudgmental--

Hannah, grow up.

It's fucking food.

And it's fantastic.

I don't eat the rabbits either.

Well, we eat rabbits at every meal.

Oh, delicious at breakfast.

With grits.
Very tasty.

I'm hungry all the time.

A rabbit a day keeps the doctor away.

Anyway, what were we talking about?

Yes, Jessa. Let's take your
marriage, for instance.

Love is actually really a Western concept--

- Hey.
- Oh! Tyler!

Oh, he's just such a cool customer.

Mwah! Mwah!

Mom, I told you we were going out.

Tyler, this is Hannah and Jessa.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- Hi.
- 'Sup?

Tyler's an amazing lacrosse player

and he's a published poet.

Just locally.

I'm a writer, too. I actually
just-- just inked a book deal.

Well, we're gonna go.

You guys could come if you want.

No, thank you.

I came to see my father,
so I'm gonna stay.

Oh, no, no, no.
We have plans.

Who has plans?

We do, Petula and I.

You called at the last moment

and we couldn't get out of it, right?

Yeah, well, it's a lecture

that's really, really important
and you're welcome to come.

Because this man has been
doing these studies in Japan

of all the nuclear toxicity
that we're all taking on

in our livers, in our hearts

and brains and blood.
We are toxic--

Dad, were you ever gonna

maybe try and cancel your plans?

Jessa, you've cancelled on me
on the last six occasions.

How was I to know
you were even gonna show up?

Hmm?

Oh, I did not say that!

I wanna live forever!

- Ahh!
- Whoo!

You guys, I can't, okay?
I just can't.

Oh, come on, Hannah.
You have to.

Whip-its are what killed
Demi Moore.

- I'm not gonna.
- Oh, stop!

I just don't like using
products in a different way

than it was intended, okay?

That's an area that's hard for me.

My mouth is so dry.

I wish we'd picked
something up at 7-Eleven.

We did, here.

I grabbed this out--
I grabbed this on the way out.

Did you steal that?

No, I didn't steal it.

It's not stealing
when it's from a corporation.

Jessa!

I wrote a paper on corporations once.

- Yeah?
- They're totally evil.

I know.

- You're an amazing driver.
You know that? - Oh, yeah?

- You're an amazing driver.
- Yeah? Am I?

- Yeah! I think you're so good
that you could do this. - No.

- Yes, you can.
- No, no, no, no.

- What are you doing?!
- Trust me.

Ah!

You're doing good.
You're doing good.

- Stop the car!
- Just trust me.

Just stay straight.
Stay straight.

Oh, my God.

Pull over!

- Tyler.
- That is not funny.

That is not funny.
That is immature.

Are you fucking insane?

Stop the car.

Stop it.

Thank you.

Hannah.

Hannah, Hannah.

Hannah, wait up.

Hannah, Hannah.

What?

Are you mad?

I'm not mad, Frank.

I'm freaked out, which is
the normal human response

to driving in a car
where the driver's eyes

are being covered by another person

and everyone's
on whip-its.

And I am starving

'cause all you have to eat in
your house is your pet rabbit,

and I'm an undiagnosed hypoglycemic.

And then we come into this graveyard

and I feel like I'm in
freakin' "Hocus Pocus"

and Thora Birch is gonna
wear a little hat--

Are you 18?

No.

I'm 19.

So, you were saying you're
in this total free fall?

Mm, yeah.

It was like everything had just
been stripped away from me

and I was just one big, festering sore.

Ew.

That's sorta gross.

Do the guys on your team
suck each other off?

When I was little, I thought
that what happened when you died

was just that you
were floating in the sky,

do you know, by the moon.

It was like, you were still yourself,

still had all the same thoughts,
but you were just alone

and nobody that you knew
was there with you and--

oh, okay.

Just relax.

Where's Tyler?

He's puking in the bushes.

Okay, I just had sex with Frank.

It lasted for, like, eight seconds.

Are you serious?

That is disgusting.

He's a child.

Yeah, but didn't
you have sex with Tyler?

Not at all.

Wait, but, like, I thought
that's what we were doing.

No, we weren't.

Okay, I wish you would've told me that.

Really, Hannah?

You really had no idea

that this was not
supposed to be a sexcapade?

I thought that this was
fully a sexcapade.

I thought you brought me on a sexcapade.

This is-- that was
fully just me

trying to have continuity with you.

I am disgusted with myself.

And now I need to dry out my underwear

behind the car.

♪ And I was your silver lining ♪

♪ High upon my toes ♪

♪ Well, you were running through
fields of hitchhikers... ♪

Wait, where are we going?
What are we doing?

- You were hogging the covers.
- Mm-kay.

You okay?

No, I don't feel so good.

I brought Zantac and Gaviscon

and I think I brought Midol.

I don't think I was
in the right frame of mind

to see my father.

Well, who's ever in the right frame
of mind to see their parents?

Please.

Don't talk about our parents

like they're the same kind of parents.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Running will be the fucking death of me.

Oh, it's so fucking boring.

I thought I'd enjoy
moving to the country,

but it's boring.

Jesus Christ, can't you
stay put for one second?

Oh, darling, I've been
here for two years.

What do you want me to do,
roll over and die?

Not die, but clean
your house once in a while,

not act like leaving
a woman and her child

is a casual fucking thing.

Oh, just--

down, okay?

Just down.

You have no idea, do you?

What do I have no idea about?

What?

Of how much time
I've spent waiting for you.

Of how much shit I've taken

because you never taught me
how to do anything else.

Oh-- oh, yeah?
What shit?

Huh? What?

Everything.

You disappearing for months on end,

you never taking my calls

when things between Mom
and me were so bad.

Why didn't
you stand up for me?

Why weren't you there?

Why can't you do one single thing

you say you're gonna do?

And you act like you want me
to come see you,

but you don't know how to have me here.

You don't know how to deal with it.

You don't know how to even
have a conversation with me.

Oh, you think I can rely on you?

Hmm?

You shouldn't have to.

I'm the child.

I'm the child.

Hannah and I should be going
if we're gonna catch the--

No, no, no.
Darling.

Look, um...

Why don't-- why don't
you just stay, okay?

Take the late train.

Um, I didn't get to see you last night,

so why don't we just have
a big old family meal, okay?

I know.
I know, I know.

I'll make you bangers and mash.

You love your bangers and mash, no?

Can we do that?

Uh, hi.

Hi.

Oh, I wasn't waiting here for you.

This is where
I sit and--

and drink lemonade and...

digest.

So you're waiting for me.

Mm, well, I mean, I was feeling

kinda weird about something.

Um...

Uh-huh.

I just feel like you used me...

for sex.

Frank, that's crazy.

You did, though.

Use me for sex, I mean.

Okay, first of all, that wasn't sex.

You came in my thigh crease.

That was sex!

Okay?

Okay, was that--
was that your first time?

My first-- that wasn't
my first time.

- All right?
- Okay, good.

Okay, it was my second time, okay?

So who was your first time with?

A girl...

Mm-hmm.

...named Rihanna.

Rihanna.

Yeah, a girl who lives near
me and is named Rihanna.

Great.

I'm so glad that it was with

someone that special.

What?

You know everyone thinks that

I'm in love with Tyler.

But I'm not.

If anything,

Tyler is in love with me.

Darling, I can't go in there, all right?

I'm fighting with the manager.

Now, I'll be driving around.

I'll see you in five minutes.

Oh, and, sweetheart,
sweetheart, don't forget

day-old lettuce
for Petula's rabbits.

I'm so hungry. I cannot
wait to get my own food.

I'm getting yogurt,
almonds, baby food--

Whiskey.

Well, I don't want whiskey,

but if you want whiskey,
I can front you $11.

He's not coming back.

- Ever?
- This is what he does.

Well, do you want
to call his cell phone?

There's no point.

Do you want to call Petula's phone?

Remember I gave my cell phone

to that guy at the Mexican restaurant?

♪ I can't do it, I can't conceive ♪

♪ You're everything you're
trying to make me believe ♪

♪ 'Cause this show
is too well-designed ♪

♪ Too well to be held
with only me in mind ♪

♪ How ♪

♪ How am I different? ♪

Ugh, Jessa, it's back.

It's definitely back.
My urine feels so daggery.

It's back.

Ah.

It's really, really, really hurting me.

Jessa?

Jess, I'm all packed.

We have to go.

Hannah?

- Daddy?
- Hannah banana!

Your mother and I were
just talking about

how excited we are

for our trip to New York City.

Now, where's a nice place to stay

for, say, 50 bucks a night?

Don't be stupid, Tad.

Your mother thinks I'm crazy,

but the Internet has deals.

Okay, you need to talk
into the receiver.

I know you think you're
talking into the receiver,

but you're not talking
into the receiver.

Is-- is this better?

Okay, you don't have to scream.

I can hear you.
You don't have to scream.

Ooh, there's just no talking to you

when you're in one of your moods.

Why do you call us
when you're in a bad mood?

I'm not in a bad mood.

Well, we just spoke
with you three days ago,

so obviously you need something.

God knows we're not people here.

We're just need-fillers.

I don't need money.

That's not why I'm calling.

I was calling to thank you
for making me feel

so supported as a child

and sometimes even as an adult.

And there's times where I feel
like we have nothing in common,

we don't know each other at all,

we weren't even really put on
the same Earth by the same god.

But at the same time,
I just feel like there's

a hammock under the Earth
that's protecting me.

It really means a lot
and that's because of you,

and I'm grateful.

Hannah, are you crying?

I love you, Mom.
I really, really love you.

- Ow.
- Oh, well...

thank you.

- I love you, too.
- And you know what?

You're in my heart forever, you know?

Till I'm dead, and maybe
even after I'm dead.

I don't know. When I'm
just floating out in space

and I'm so alone 'cause nobody
I love is even around-- ah.

All right, now, I don't know

what you're up to, but now I'm pissed.

I mean, I'm not falling
for this crap, Hannah.

- What?
- My back hurts,

I'm up to my eyeballs in filth

from going through your old garbage.

I'm not falling for this crap!

Don't worry, honey.

We're not gonna throw away
anything that you need.

Okay?

♪ How ♪

♪ How am I different? ♪

♪ How ♪

♪ How am I different? ♪

♪ I can't do it, so move along ♪

♪ Do you really wanna wait
until I prove you wrong? ♪

♪ And don't tell me, let me guess ♪

♪ I could change it all around ♪

♪ If I would just say yes ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ How ♪

♪ How am I different? ♪

♪ How ♪

♪ How am I different? ♪