Girls (2012–2017): Season 2, Episode 5 - One Man's Trash - full transcript

A man comes to the coffee shop to complain to Ray that someone is leaving trash in his trash cans. Hannah follows him to his brownstone to confess and ends up spending the rest of the day, and the next day, with him.

Okay, I'm pretty sure
I invented it,

and I'm kind of
freaking out.

"Sexit."

- Sexit?
- Sexit.

Like, to leave in the middle of sex?
Is that what it means?

You would think that's
what it meant, but, no.

What I'm thinking
is you leave a party

or another public event
in order to go have sex.

You're making
a sexy exit.

That's a sexit.

Use it in a sentence.



Uh, let's see.

Ray, wanna
leave this bar?

It's lame,
but our vibe is on.

Let's just make
a quick sexit.

I don't wanna
do that with you.

- I'm just showing you how I'd use it.
- Okay.

And what makes you so sure
you came up with this word?

Uh, 'cause I've never
heard anyone else say it,

because I think
if someone had said it,

it would have gone
completely viral,

like "Booty call."

Right.

If only there was
a modern machine

that could answer
that question for us.



Urban dictionary defines
a sexit as, quote,

"to make a speedy
or hasty exit

in the middle
of sexual intercourse;

to end intercourse
prematurely

and just peace out.

Also known
as a French exit."

I've never heard
anyone use it.

That's because
it's awful.

Hi. Could I speak
with the manager?

Yeah,
I'm the manager.

Great.
Hey.

- Excuse me.
- Sorry.

I live two blocks
thataway in a house,

and I think someone
from this place

is leaving their
trash in my cans.

Mm-hmm.
And why would they do that,

considering we have
our own dumpster?

I know, right?
That's why it's so weird.

And how are you so
convinced it's our trash?

The coffee grounds,
old bags of pastries,

some bills with
your address on them.

It's not a ton of trash, but it's
more than I want in my cans.

Mm-hmm.

I don't know
what to say, man.

I'm the manager.
We have our own dumpster.

Unless someone's taking
trash from our dumpster

and putting it
in your cans for fun...

Well, I don't know whose
idea of fun that would be.

Listen, I'd just love it
if you could make it stop.

Oh, yeah?
You'd love that?

Look, I can only control
what I can control.

Right, which is where
your employees

put your business's trash.

I trained all of my employees
personally, professionally.

Each and every
one of them.

Even this one
over here,

which wasn't
fuckin' easy.

Hi.

Hi.

Yeah, I don't mean
to point fingers here.

I just get
a little frustrated

when I can't fit my own
garbage in my garbage can

because somebody else's
is in there.

You can understand
that, right?

Ray, maybe there
is a world in which...

Maybe we should
just talk

and talk and talk
and talk

and talk about this
all day.

The problem seems to be I don't
know how to satisfy you.

It's an unsolved mystery.
I can't solve it for you.

I don't understand
why your attitude

has been so flip since
the moment I walked in.

- Flip?
- I was hoping we could talk,

neighbor to neighbor.

Neighbor to neighbor!

What a world
we'd live in

if we could talk to each
other neighbor to neighbor.

Just lean against the fence
and crack open a frosty one

and cup each other's balls
and sing "Kumbaya."

Wake up!
Fucking pinko.

Listen... listen to me,
fun-times-guy.

I don't know where you
get off behaving this way,

but I do know that twice a month
you have a band play here

and you serve liquor
without a license.

Now, that is information
that, up until now,

I have chosen not to use.

Have fun with that information.
Enjoy that information.

Take a big fucking bite
out of that information.

You know what happened the
last time we had a show here?

There was a police officer
in attendance.

Third row. Right at the show.
You know why he came?

'Cause he likes to see me
play the fucking body drums.

- That's why.
- I don't even know what you're doing.

Corporal percussion.

Is there something
we could get you?

Like, maybe
a cup of coffee?

Yes! How about an empty
fucking trash can?

That's what I want!

Get that through
your thick head.

What a fucking meatball.

Jesus Christ,
that's depressing.

I do not know why you
were just so awful to him.

I was awful to him?

That was horrible to watch.

This is a toxic
work environment.

You know what?
I'm out. I'm out.

Are you fucking serious?

Dead serious.

You just gonna make
a rash sexit like that?

Yup.

What the fuck
you guys looking at?

Go back to your
panda videos

before I turn off
the wi-fi.

Hey.

Hey.

Do I know you?

Oh, I work at grumpy's

where you just were.

Oh.

I'm sorry I exploded
at your manager,

but he's lucky
I didn't beat his ass.

Completely.

Honestly, I would do it
to him if I could,

but I'm not in the
position, um, to do that.

I have something
to tell you.

Okay.

Just thinking about
the right way to phrase this.

Do you want
to come in?

Oh, uh...

I don't think
that's a very good idea.

I mean, you're basically
a complete stranger to me,

so, you know,

could really be putting myself
in, like, a Ted Bundy situation.

He also looked handsome,
clean, and probably...

Had a brownstone.

Okay.

Okay, this place
is unbelievable.

Oh, thanks.
Yeah, it's coming.

You want a glass
of lemonade?

Mm-hmm.

I mean, I didn't even know houses
like this existed in my neighborhood.

Well, it takes
a little doing.

I was gonna add
a solarium off the back,

but my plans have stalled
for a moment.

- I feel like I'm in a Nancy
Meyers movie. - Thanks.

I think.

- Here you go.
- Thank you.

So, what's up?

Oh, with me?
Um, let's see.

Just been working all day.
Since 9:00 A.M.

- - Thinking about
some ideas for things.

Oh, you mean, like, what I
wanna talk to you about.

- Yeah. - Gotcha.
Um...

Okay, so you're not insane.

I mean, you're probably
somewhat insane,

like we all are, but in
this specific instance

with the trash
and grumpy's, you're not,

'cause I did it.

You did it?

I do it...

Put trash places
it shouldn't legally go.

It's kind of like my vice.

Why?

I think it actually makes a lot
of sense if I describe it to you,

which is that ray
leaves work early.

I'm supposed to
take out the trash.

But I lost my dumpster key.

And you saw for yourself what a
total fuckin' dick he can be.

I didn't feel like
telling him,

so I started looking
for places to put it.

Right.

You know? And it's just your
house, it was close enough,

but it was also
far enough

and I really liked what
the outside looked like.

You know,
that's how it started.

So you're just trying
to save your own ass.

Okay, I'm really sorry.

- It's fine.
- It won't happen again.

I'll see you around,
but not by your trash cans.

Honestly, I think
it's just that

I've never had
my own trash cans,

so it's just hard for me to imagine
how frustrating it would be

to have somebody else's trash
in them, and I know now...

You said that's how
it started with the trash?

Yeah, and then I just kinda started
to like the way that it felt.

The whole act of it.

The moment
when you drop it in.

The moment
when you run.

All that.

Oh, this is your cup.

Which is also very nice,

like everything that
you appear to have.

So...

I am so sorry.

That was such
a crazy thing to do.

I completely...

I can't imagine how
invaded you must feel.

And I would understand
if you wanted

to have me arrested,
'cause that is...

- I'm so confused.
- Me, too.

Mm.

How old are you?

I don't know if that's
a rude question...

- I'm 42.
- Okay.

- You? - I'm 24, so we're
basically twins, I'd say.

Great.

What's your name?

Guess.

Uh... Daisy?

I wish that
was my name.

What's your name?

Joshua.

Uh, so, Josh...

Joshua.

Sorry, I just...

I knew a Josh
that I hated, so...

Oh, I always thought that was
a cool sports guy name,

like Trent or Riley or...

One can hope.

You can't ever compete
with a Riley, but...

- So, that was weird.
- Yeah.

Super weird.

I mean, not,
like, bad weird.

- But just...
- No, no, not bad weird.

But weird.

Because,
besides the whole

not-knowing-each-other thing...

which I never do,
by the way.

I always have sex
with people I know.

I might, like... I might know
that they're bad,

but I know them.

Right.

Besides that,
I guess, um...

I guess it's kind of
a weird time for me.

Um, I'm in the...

I'm in the process...

I'm recently separated.

Oh, so you're married.

But I'm separated.

So I just had sex
with a married guy.

Well, I really appreciate
your honesty, Josh.

No Josh.

My name's Hannah.

Hannah?

Nice, old-fashioned name.

So, Hannah...

You like steak?

Were you planning
for guests, or...?

No, but I was
planning for steak.

Mm.

- What do you do?
- I'm a doctor.

You're a married doctor?

I'm not really married.
My wife...

The city wasn't
working for her

and so she's back
in San Diego.

Been there since march,
and I'm just plugging away here.

Are you very sad, or...?

It comes in waves.

Well, what did you do?

Wow, um...

I mean, to make her
go to San Diego.

Um, boring stuff,
really.

I, um...

Didn't notice how she was
feeling, I worked too much.

You know, real stuff
that causes problems

and marriages to end.

Do you like it rare?

Super rare.
Even rarer than that.

If you could uncook it a little,
that would be great for me.

I'll just hold it up.

Fuckin' hate those guys.
I really do.

It's like having
a frat house next door.

Hey, this does not look
like a frat house.

All these guys
have buns.

You look like the leader
of a frat house.

- - Is that
really the neighbor you are?

Just, like, shaking your fist,
like, "why, I oughta..."

Yes, yes.
It's awful.

I'm like...

I'm, like, the oldest guy
in this neighborhood

by, like, 25 years.

I'm like an old ghost.

Ripped up all the carpet and
the floors were in good shape,

so I didn't have
to do much there.

The bedroom
I totally gutted.

Except for the molding.
The molding stayed.

And the fireplace.
The fireplace was in good shape.

Wow.

It was a little
fixer-upper.

But you really
fixed it up.

- I did.
- It's very beautiful.

I like
all your fixtures.

- Well, thank you.
- Um, so I'm gonna go.

It's about that time
of the night.

What time?
What?

The time when you give
someone space.

Well, I like you here.

Well, you say that now, but it is
not my first time at the rodeo.

Well, if you wanna
leave the rodeo,

then that's your choice,

but I don't mind
you staying.

Oh, if you don't mind
having me here...

I don't know how I could
resist an invitation...

I want you to stay.

Okay, I'm just gonna
try something.

All right.

Beg me to stay.

Please stay.

But, like, sadder,
like you're really...

Please, stay.
Please, stay.

But not like
you're in "Toy Story."

- Like, do it.
- Please!

Please, don't leave.

Don't leave me.
I want you to stay.

I want you to stay
this night and every night.

I don't want you
to ever leave my house.

I will burn it down
if you leave.

There's a good shot I will
kill myself when you leave.

I don't... I don't
wanna be without you.

I changed my mind.
It's stressful.

- What?
- You're beautiful.

You really think so?

I do.

Don't you?

Um...
No, I do.

It's just not always the
feedback that I've been given.

Well, you are.

- Very beautiful.
- Thank you.

Here.

- You do that.
- I got it.

I want you
to make me come, okay?

Make me come,
Hannah.

Whoa.

What?
What happened?

I want you
to make me come.

- Do you need help with that?
- No.

- Does that feel good?

Uh-huh.

Feels really good.

Morning.

Okay, I think your sweater
costs more than my rent.

All right, so,
what do we do now?

Well, I have
to go to work.

No, no. You have
to call in sick.

I did.

- Are you serious?
- Yes.

What happens if
a doctor calls in sick?

10 to 20 people die.

- Come on.
- That's not a big deal.

Yeah, it's not
very important.

Come on, we're having
such a nice time.

Are we?

- I am.
- I mean, I am.

- All right. So?
- Okay.

Don't we deserve it?

I haven't played this a lot, but I'm
just... I'm very naturally gifted...

- Mm-hmm.
- Athletically.

Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.

I don't do that many sports,
but when I do them,

- people are impressed.
- Mm-hmm.

- What you got?

There you go.

Oh!

Oh, that's gonna be yours.
That's your point.

- That's my point?
- That's your point.

That was my point.
That was my point.

That was my point. That was my point.

What?

What?

Mm.

When you're done,
meet me upstairs.

We can look
at the moon.

What is the moon?

- Bye.
- Bye.

Still in there?

Hannah?

Hannah?

Hello?

Holy fuck.
Hannah.

Hannah, Hannah,
Hannah.

Wake up.

I'm fainted.

- Feel better?
- Mm-hmm.

I thought I was a gummy worm
for, like, seven minutes.

Next time, call me.

- Is this helpful?
- Mm-hmm.

- Good.
- Yeah.

What? Wait, what?

- What did I miss?
- Nothing, I'm sorry.

- No, what did I say?
- I'm so sorry.

You said nothing.

- Okay. - Honestly, you
didn't say anything.

You didn't do anything.
You're...

Besides just being
so great and perfect and...

All right.
What is it, sweetie?

Please don't tell
anyone this, but...

I want to be happy.

Of course you do.

Of course you do.
Everyone does.

Yeah, but I didn't
think that I did.

I made a promise
such a long time ago

that I was gonna
take in experiences,

all of them, so that
I could tell other people

about them
and maybe save them,

but it gets so tiring...

Trying to take in all the
experiences for everybody,

letting anyone
say anything to me.

Then I came here...

And I see you.

And you've got
the fruit in the bowl

and the fridge
with the stuff...

The robe, and you're
touching me the way that...

I realize
I'm not different.

You know?

I want what everyone wants.

I want what they all want.
I want all the things.

I just want to be happy.

You know, there's
all these experiences

that I just feel like
I've asked for.

Things where it's like,
who in their right mind

would want that?

You know,
like, one time,

I asked someone
to punch me in the chest

and then come
on that spot.

Like, that was my idea.

That came from my brain.

And it's like, what makes
me think I deserve that?

Then I remember that
when I was three,

I told my mom
that my babysitter

had touched my vagina
in the bath.

And my mom thought I was lying,
obviously, and probably I was.

It was like whether I was lying or
whether I was telling the truth,

something's broken
inside of me.

Right.

Yeah, I once
let a boy

give me a handjob
when I was nine.

Well, I think that's pretty
different 'cause you let him

and this wasn't
my choice.

Yeah.

You know, I think
what I didn't realize

before I met you was that
I was, like, lonely.

In such a deep,
deep way.

You know, and I was reaching
for all this stuff,

but all I really needed
was to look at someone

and be like, "oh, that
person wants to be there

after I'm dead," you know?

Mm-hmm.

You think
I'm a crazy girl?

No, I don't think
you're crazy at all.

I wasn't thinking that.

If anything, I think
I'm just too smart

and too sensitive
and too, like, not crazy.

So that I'm feeling
all these big feelings

and containing all this
stuff for everybody else

and it's like...
Okay, I read this article

about Fiona Apple
in "New York" magazine

where she said, "oh, everybody
acts like I'm nuts.

I'm not nuts, I just
want to feel it all."

It's like
that's what I'm like.

I just want
to feel it all.

- You know?
- Yeah, I get it.

I mean, that's...
That's a great goal.

Um, I'm gonna
go to sleep.

I've got...

I've gotta get up really
early for work tomorrow.

You're going
to work tomorrow?

Well, I gotta.

Do you want
to kiss me?

Yes.

I can't believe
you're doing this.

Doing what?

You basically
begged me

to tell you
all my feelings.

No, and I'm glad
you did.

Well, you're not glad
that I did.

Hannah...

Well, no,
you're not glad.

'Cause you're
not acting glad.

And also you didn't
tell me anything about you.

I'm realizing I asked you
about your divorce.

You said two sentences.

"Oh, I was busy working
on the house.

My wife missed, you know,
the San Francisco bay."

San Diego.

I'm like an orphan you just
took in off the street,

so what's
your damage, Josh?

It's Joshua.

It's the same name

with an extra sound
stuck on the end.

So you want me
to leave?

No.

I want you to stay.

'Cause you don't have to say
that if you don't mean it.

I know.