Girls (2012–2017): Season 2, Episode 3 - Bad Friend - full transcript

Hannah gets a new freelance gig, and her editor suggests that she should try cocaine for the first time to write about her experience. In the process, she gets to know her downstairs ...

Oh, my God.
I have to do this again?

What I want is I want
14 more of the same pair,

but I want them
in sunglasses.

Thank you.

Hi. Are you Hannah?

Hi. Yeah.
Are you Jamie?

- Jame.
- Oh, okay.

- Yeah.
- I'll just grab...

Oh, okay, we're just
gonna do this here.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Thank you so much for
making the time to see me.



- I really appreciate it.
- Yeah, sure. It's no problem.

So it's only
the Internet,

but we do pay
200 bucks an article.

And you don't seem
that fancy, so...

Wait.
So are you hiring me?

Well, it's a freelance thing,
so I'm not hiring you per se,

but you seem
super sweet.

All I want is just to write something
that you'll be excited to publish.

I mean, is there something you
want me to explore specifically?

You could have a threesome

with some people that
you meet on craigslist

or do a whole bunch of coke
and then just write about it.

Okay, re the threesome,

that is something that I just...
I feel like I have enough trouble



just figuring out where to place
my attention on one person's body,

which is something
I'd write about for sure.

In terms of cocaine,
I've never done it before.

Even better!

Well, the reason
I've never done it before

is because I have
weird nasal passages.

Okay.
It's just an idea.

You know what?
Did you see my sign?

This... this sign?

Yeah, I'm seeing it now.

You get it, right?

Yeah, I get it.
Of course I get it.

Here's your comfort zone.

This is where
the magic happens.

So, like, the magic happens
outside your comfort zone.

Yeah.

Uh-huh.

Okay.

Enjoy the blouse.

- You know...
- I'll take that.

one of Tom Petty's
Heartbreakers gave me

a lovely compliment
on it once.

They don't construct a
sleeve like that anymore.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Hey!

This is a way more serious
operation than I thought.

Don't you need, like, a
vendor's license for this?

- That would ruin the whole point.
- What is the point?

Oh, I love it
when you get stroppy.

Ever since you started
having sex.

Not because I started
having sex, okay?

It is because I didn't
get any sleep last night

because Ray only wants
to watch old episodes

of "Ally McBeal" all night long.

And I'm like, "Excuse me,
I have to be somewhere

in the morning, unlike you."

Jessa, do you happen to know where
I can procure some cocaine today?

Who's it for?
Adam?

No, it's for me to snort for work

because I'm planning to write
an article that exposes

all of my vulnerabilities
to the entire Internet.

Well, in that case, why don't
you just ask the creepy guy

who lives on the ground
floor of your building?

Laird?
I'm not asking him for anything.

That guy looks like
he has leprosy.

What do you think
leprosy looks like?

He's a junkie.

How do you know
he's a junkie?

I asked him.

I mean, we were talking
once by the mailboxes.

Oh, yeah, totally.

All the junkies in my building
hang out by the mailboxes.

- Who is it?
- Hannah.

Hannah.

I'm glad to finally
see your place.

- I hope I'm not disturbing you.
- Oh, no.

No, I'm just trying to come up
with a new Wi-Fi network name,

and it's pretty intimidating
because yours is so good.

Oh, you...
Muffins Are Tasty?

No, no.

I liked when
it was Madame Ovaries.

Oh. You know,
I liked that, too,

but it's like new roommate,
new Wi-Fi network.

It was disappointing
to let it go.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Would you... would you
care to sit down?

Oh, maybe I could just sit
on your ottoman?

Oh, yeah, yeah.
You can... sure.

Hey, so why'd
Marnie move out?

I mean, I know you two
are really different.

You know, you get different
magazine subscriptions

and have different
schedules and all that.

It almost seems like you
shouldn't be roommates, but...

Oh, my God,
you have a turtle?

Yeah.

Yeah, and, um...

I'll never not have it.

He's really cute.

Thanks.

He can be a real asshole
sometimes, though.

Um, would you like
some pomegranate juice?

Sure.

I'm an addict.

- I'm just gonna go to the fridge.
- Okay.

Hey, how much can you
guys hear me upstairs?

Not that much, really.

Really?
'Cause I can hear you.

You know, I was actually...
I don't wanna keep you,

but I was just dropping by
so that I could...

No, I get it.
I think it's great.

You made the first move.

We've been seeing each
other in the halls a lot

and we should meet,
but we're both being

really shy
about saying hi and...

Yeah, I feel... for sure,
I feel the same way.

And I also...
um, let's see.

How do I articulate this properly?

I need
some cocaine.

And I know that
you're a junkie,

which I do not want you
to think I'm judging.

I am completely
cool with it

and get that it takes what it
takes to get through life.

I'm clean now.

Oh, my God. Wow.

Congratulations.

I'm so sorry.
You didn't look clean, so I just...

Hannah...

you don't wanna get
started with this stuff.

Okay, so then you're saying I should
ask someone else for the coke.

No. I mean,
I still know guys.

And... I've always wanted
to do something for you.

Oh, my God.
Thank God.

Sweetheart, could you
help me out?

Uh, of course.

My friends here are not
being very much fun.

All they wanna
talk about is work.

- Aw, that sounds awful.
- Yeah.

Now, if you'd bring us a bottle
of your finest sauvignon blanc,

maybe my friends here will try
and be a little more fun.

Of course.
I'll get on that.

I'll bring it right back, gentlemen.

Maddie.

Maddie,
I see you.

- Hey, Booth.
- Hey.

Oh.

It's Marnie,
but hello.

Welcome.

Oh. So you
work here, huh?

That's fucking
depressing.

It's a job.
It pays.

I'm sorry there weren't a bajillion
curatorial openings in the city.

Oh, I...
I love that.

- You love what?
- I love when young people

are passionate
about something

and then they just give up

the second that
they have to struggle.

I'm sorry I'm not
more like you.

You're like a con man
who somehow talks people

into paying way too much
money for derivative art,

like convincing anyone who's
never heard of Damien Hirst

that you're a genius.

I like being
talked to like that.

- Ugh.
- It's surprising.

When was the last time
you had sex?

What?

- Come with me.
- Who do you think I am?

Oh, I think you're a person who
is about to have sex with me.

Stop.
I'm working.

What are you
gonna wear tonight?

- This probably.
- Oh, no. Hannah, no.

You've never done coke before,
so let me explain something.

This is not gonna be a night of
driving around in your mom's Volvo

with a bottle of cough syrup
and a box of cold McNuggets.

You know, I am so excited
about this, actually.

Now that we have the coke,
the scary part is over.

We can just enjoy
this adventure.

I'm just so jazzed to write
the fuck out of this story.

Oh, we definitely have
to go dancing tonight.

AndrewAndrew
is DJing at Greenhouse.

- Who's he?
- They are a couple of gays

who dress alike
and dance alike

and they both changed
their name to Andrew.

They're like brand
consultants and iPad DJs.

- I'm so excited to introduce you.
- Yes, please.

Hey, let's have the type of
night where it's like 5:00 a.m.

and one of us has
definitely punched someone

who's been on a Disney Channel show.

Is there any rule that says we
can't just start doing the coke

right now
circa 4:00 p.m.?

I mean, no rule
but human decency.

- Which is not...
- Yeah.

- You want me to wear that?
- Oh, yes.

It's inspired by a girl
I went to middle school with

who fucked both her uncle
and her stepdad.

It's called
"power clashing."

♪ I feel depressed,
I feel so bad... ♪

I wanna raise
Affenpinscher show dogs.

I mean, I know that sounds
cliché, but you know what?

That's what I want.

I wanna get married
wearing a veil,

and I wanna taste, like,
15 cakes before I do it.

And I know that I said that I was
against the industrial marriage

complex, but that's
what I really want.

No, I think that's good.
I think that's good.

I would like
to visit a prison.

I want to learn to write
a check properly.

I think that's so important

because it's like every
time I write a check now,

I have to look at the carbon
copy of the one before.

I'm often mixing up
the money and the date.

- Absolutely. - It's like I'm
saying I want to be independent,

but all these little things, they add
up and they just block me from it.

- Yes, exactly.
- They just block me from it.

You know what?
Should we be writing these down?

Of course we should be
writing these down.

How crazy is it
that I'm a writer

and I didn't think we need
to be writing these down?

- Yeah, what's wrong with you?
- Now I'm gonna get a pencil.

- I'm gonna get a...
- No, no, no, no, no.

Leave your mark.

What do you mean?

Just leave your
fucking mark, Hannah.

In urine?

No, I mean let's write the lists

on these blank fucking walls.

Let's write the lists
on the walls.

- Clearly!
- Clearly!

- I got this.
- Do it.

- Just watch.
- Just get it out of you.

Ta-da!

Well, that one's mine.

It's based on
different dreams

and some news articles
that I found.

- That one's real.
- Whoa.

That one's a dream.

What's the blood
made out of?

It's blood.

Been thinking of calling my next
show "Children's Death Games."

I love it.

You wanna see the best
thing I ever made?

Come on.

Okay, now.

This place is huge.

Whoa!

Get in.

Get into that?

Yeah. Get in.

Come on.

You're gonna love this.

- Inside.
- Okay.

Okay.
I'm gonna lock you in.

- What?
- Yeah.

Don't lock...

Hey, Booth?

Okay, ready?

♪ I know what you're doing ♪

♪ I see it
all too clear ♪

♪ I only taste the saline...♪

♪ When I kiss away
your tears ♪

♪ You really
had me going ♪

♪ Wishing on a star... ♪

- - ♪ The black holes
that surround you ♪

♪ Are heavier by far... ♪

♪ I believed in
your confusion... ♪

- ♪ So completely torn... ♪

Booth?

♪ Yesterday was the day
that I was born ♪

♪ There's not much to examine...♪

- ♪ There's nothing left to hide...♪
- Booth?

Hey, Booth,
can I get out of here?

♪ And have
to ask me why... ♪

♪ I say good-bye ♪

♪ 'Cause I am barely
breathing... ♪

- You've got mail.
- ♪ And I can't find the air ♪

♪ Don't know
who I'm kidding ♪

♪ Imagining you care ♪

♪ And I could
stand here waiting ♪

♪ A fool for another day ♪

♪ I don't suppose it's worth the price,
you're worth the price ♪

♪ The price
that I would pay... ♪

♪ Every... ♪

Huh?

What'd you think?

What the fuck, man?

What the fuck?

You're so fucking talented.

Andrew Andrew.

Do they have sex
with each other?

It is my greatest dream
to have sex with myself,

but also my biggest nightmare.

We're the sexiest
people here.

'Cause we are the sexiest
nonsexual couple

this club has ever seen!

♪ I remember
what it's like ♪

♪ To be a victim
almost every night ♪

♪ And no one knows
or really cares ♪

♪ What you're drinking... ♪

- Hannah!
- ♪ Or the clothes we wear ♪

- ♪ Hello, hello... ♪
- Who took you?

What'd you do with Hannah?

I'm here!

You're dancing!

- I feel you.
- I love you!

Get on my level.

♪ Little white doves,
little white doves ♪

♪ Yeah, we come like. ♪

♪ Shake your tambourine,
go and get yourself a whistle ♪

♪ Shake your tambourine,
go and get yourself a whistle ♪

♪ E-V-E come through
in the Maserati ♪

♪ Doin' it big like I live
in the Taj Mahal ♪

♪ Talk shit and I don't get
in the blah-zy blah ♪

♪ Ha, that's why
they lovin', ah ♪

♪ That's real when the chicks
that they talked about ♪

♪ Goddamn is the words
that come out they mouth ♪

♪ She look good always,
without a doubt ♪

♪ Ask for her, she back
and cakin' out, come on... ♪

You're a really good dancer.

- So are you.
- Thanks. I know.

You wanna trade shirts?

Are you kidding me?
Are you a mind reader?

- Yes, I wanna trade shirts.
- Whoo!

Here you go.

♪ So they be watchin' while we
wiggle around, look at 'em droolin' ♪

♪ Niggas ain't used
to this sound... ♪

- How long have I been
dancing with you? - What?

- How long have I been
dancing with you? - Yeah.

- I wanna do more coke.
- I need to do more coke.

Bye, Andrew!
Bye, Andrew!

Bye, Andrew!

♪ Shake your tambourine,
go and get yourself a whistle ♪

♪ Shake your tambourine,
go and get yourself a whistle... ♪

Ew.

Ah.

♪ I got this feeling
on a summer day ♪

♪ When you were gone ♪

♪ I crashed my car
into the bridge ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ I love it ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ You're on
a different road ♪

♪ I'm in the Milky Way ♪

♪ You want me
down on Earth ♪

♪ But I am
up in space ♪

♪ You're so damn hard
to please ♪

♪ We gotta kill
this switch ♪

♪ You're from the '70s ♪

♪ But I'm a '90s bitch ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ I love it ♪

♪ I don't care ♪

♪ I love it,
I love it ♪

♪ I don't care,
I love it... ♪

Give me everything.

- Okay.
- Let me control you.

Look at the doll.

- Look at her.
- Okay.

- Describe her.
- Um...

- How's she feeling?
- She feels sassy.

- No, she's sad.
- She's sad.

- Are you on the pill?
- Yeah.

I usually hate when you wear your
nipples out in public like that,

but you look so beautiful, Hannah.

- Thank you, baby.
- You look so beautiful right now.

- Thank you.
- God, I care about you so much.

- Uh-huh. - I care about you
so much and we've come so far.

- We've come so far, Elijah.
- You and me, we've come so far.

Honestly, I've loved you ever
since the first second I met you,

since I saw you at the
computer lab at Oberlin,

hanging your wet
thermals over a chair.

We have so many memories.

- We have so many fucking memories.
- We have so many memories.

It's just amazing.

I feel like I just want to be
so honest with you right now.

- I want that.
- I want to be super honest.

- I want that.
- Like, I wanna tell you...

I wanna tell you
that I fucked Marnie.

- Wait. What?
- I fucked Marnie.

And at first, I really regretted
that it had happened,

but then I realized that if that's
what it took for me to accept myself,

then, as Rizzo says in "Grease,"
"There are worse things I can do."

You know?

- You fucked Marnie?
- Yes.

- When?
- Um...

two and a half, three weeks...
after our party, actually.

God, I love coke!

It's like a fucking therapy
session, you know?

- Excuse you, rude. - How did
that happen? Whose idea was that?

- Which one of your ideas was that?
- Are you okay?

- Did you fuck her in a sexual way?
- I don't know.

It just sort of happened, I guess.

Did you feel all her ribs?
Could you smell her hair?

I did like the smell of her
and, yeah, I did feel...

- she's very ribby to an extent.
- Did you have an ejaculation?

Well, I mean, if we're being honest,
I lost my boner immediately.

It was like a couple pumps.
What's happening right now?

- What... ? - No, no, don't.
Are you guys so hot?

- Hey, it's not...
- Are you guys so hot?

No, it's not that bad.
What's going on?

It's so insanely hot.

- Can you talk to me for a sec...
- Just don't touch me.

All right, she's...
oh, don't do that.

Oh.

I hate you.

I hate you.

I didn't even come in her.

- We're in the night kitchen.
- Elijah.

I need supplements.
Where are their supplements?

Elijah, I was meant
to be your last.

Oh, that is rich.
You know what?

Leave it to you to make
this whole night about you

and your role in my path
to honest sexuality.

Did it ever occur to you
that maybe I had

female lovers
after we broke up?

- No.
- No?

Or maybe that
what happened

between Marnie and I
had very little,

nay, nothing to do
with you whatsoever?

- No.
- Or maybe that Marnie's mouth

tasted like nonpetroleum
lip balm and Trident Layers,

and for whatever reason that was
a real fucking turn-on for me?

Or that I don't have to
explain this to you, Hannah.

But, no. But, no, because we're
just all living in Hannah's world,

and it's all Hannah, Hannah,
Hannah all the time and...

When did you eat jerky?

That is not any concern of yours.

Laird?

Laird?

Laird?

Laird, what are you
doing here?

Hannah.
Hi.

Uh, what are you
doing here?

- Uh...
- I'm shopping for socks.

Shopping for socks?

Yeah, yeah, this is...
this is where I sock shop.

They got great prices
and just great socks here.

At Metro Drugs they've
got great socks?

Yeah, it's a New York secret.
The best in town.

I've been following you.

Why are you following me?

To protect you.

Like the mom in "Extremely
Close and Extremely Loud."

I heard that movie
was so sad.

I didn't get to see it,
but it looked so sad.

- It was sad.
- Yeah.

Laird, we're fine.
The coke worked.

- Thank you.
- Thank you so much.

- It was super fun.
- It was not fun.

Yeah?
That's great.

Why are you crying, Laird?

- I can't believe I bought you drugs.
- Ugh!

I said thank you.
It was a big favor.

- I already thanked you.
- Yes, thank you, Laird.

Oh, man, I completely
betrayed myself.

For what?
A pretty face?

- Thank you.
- My face is the pretty face?

That's what he just said.

- I think he was speaking to me.
- He's talking to me.

Here. I need you
to take this, okay?

I bought it
when I bought yours.

I can't have it in my house.

- Is it more coke?
- No, this is H.

- Damn.
- Okay, we don't need H.

If H is what I think it is,
we don't want any H.

We can just save it for later.
We might wanna give it a shot.

Hannah, I'm worried
about you, okay?

Laird, I'm fine.

Please, just go home
and relax with your turtle.

- Please take the drugs from my hand.
- I already said okay.

And don't fuckin' do a
stupid thing with that shit.

Yes! Yes!
Yes! Yes!

Marnie's with Booth Jonathan.

What is Booth Jonathan?

Booth Jonathan is that
tiny smidge of an artist

she was obsessed with and she
made me walk back and forth

in front of his house
so many times.

Come on, let's go.

Laird, if you're gonna follow
us anyway, just... just come.

But we might do coke
in front of you, so just...

no more crying.

I'm not gonna cry.

No, 'cause it's not
that simple.

I mean, if you grew up in the early
'80s, then you would understand.

I mean, that was Reagan
and "3-2-1 Contact"

and Teddy Ruxpin.

Yeah, no, the '90s
were really...

just kind of like
a straight line.

Super frustrating.

- The early '90s was suburban.
- Booth!

- This cannot be a house.
- Booth?

- Doesn't look like it.
- It's for sure haunted.

- Booth!
- Booth!

Hello?

Hi. Is Marnie here?
We're friends of Marnie's.

We're friends of Marnie's.

We need to talk to
Marnie about some things.

Is this a bank?

Your friends are here.

- Oh, my God.
- Hey.

Hey, guys.
What are you doing?

- Marnie.
- Fancy meeting you here.

What are you doing here?

And why do you have
the junkie with you?

He's not a junkie.
You were misinformed.

He is clean and he's
basically my guardian angel.

This place is amazing.

What are you wearing?

Oh, a shirt.

You're being
very rude right now.

Well, you know what? Maybe I
don't care about being polite, okay?

'Cause it's a Wednesday
night, baby, and I'm alive.

What do you want?

I don't want anything.

Really, I'm only here
to actually let you know

that I know about
you and Elijah.

- Hannah...
- I told her.

Yeah. My dear roommate
and very serious ex-boyfriend

told me he had sex
with my best friend.

Hannah, I'm very sorry.

I really didn't want you
to hear about it like this.

I really, really didn't.

I don't need you
to say sorry, Marnie.

That's not why I came.
That's boring, okay?

What I actually need
is for you to recognize

that maybe I'm not
the bad friend

and you're not
the good friend, okay?

So you know what, Marnie?

I don't need to play by
your rules anymore, okay?

I don't wanna walk with you
to the far-away Rite Aid

to pick up your
Cipro prescription.

And I'm sorry I don't
want to go to Serendipity

and drink frozen
hot chocolates

with your uncle's girlfriend

who is a stewardess
named Eledy.

And I definitely,
definitely don't care

about putting on
appropriate pants,

because one can really
go through their whole life

wearing shorty shorts
and offend almost nobody.

- You could. - That's not what makes
somebody a good or a bad friend.

What makes you a good friend
is not doing something

that you know will intentionally
really hurt another person.

And you did that.

And you looked me in the
eyes again and again

and you lied to me
with your eyes,

and you've said to me
by not saying anything

that you've done nothing.

So guess who's
the bad friend.

It's you.

So why don't you just say who's a
good friend and who's a bad friend?

- I think we know.
- Okay, fine!

- I'm not a good friend.
- Thank you.

I don't even care.

We can keep being friends just as
long as you know you're a bad one.

- Do you want some coke?
- I'm gonna throw up.

Well, I'm glad this is
all out in the open.

You know you're
moving out, right?

- Me?
- Yeah.

You are not gonna
live with me anymore.

I understand why maybe
you would feel that way,

but... but, no.

But, no, I will be staying.

You're not staying.

You ruined my article.
You ruined my night.

You ruined my
relationship with Marnie

and, for that matter,
my relationship with cocaine,

which could have been
my favorite drug.

Hannah, let's get
the fuck out of here.

Yes, Laird.

Fuck, yes.

Thank you for getting me
out of there.

Yeah. I was happy
to leave, believe me.

Well, I live up there,
so I'm gonna go there.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

Laird.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.
Is... is this okay?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

- I can kiss you back?
- Uh, I think so.

♪ You don't know
what to say... ♪

It's just for tonight,
though, okay?

Yeah, that's fine.

For work.

♪ But everyone's
gonna get by ♪

- ♪ Everyone's gonna get by...♪
- Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh... oh, my God.

Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!

♪ Diggin' around
our heads all day ♪

♪ And fixing on
building a fire ♪

♪ We don't know
what to say ♪

♪ So everyone's
gonna get higher ♪

♪ Everyone's gonna
get by ♪

♪ Everyone's
gonna get by ♪

♪ Whoa-oh oh-oh oh ♪

♪ Na na na na
na-na ♪

♪ Na na na
na na-na ♪

♪ Na na na na
na-na ♪

♪ Na na na
na na-na ♪

♪ Everyone's gonna
get by ♪

♪ Everyone's
gonna get by ♪

♪ Whoa-oh oh-oh oh ♪

♪ You don't know
what to say ♪

♪ So everyone's
gonna get high ♪