Girls (2012–2017): Season 2, Episode 2 - I Get Ideas - full transcript

Hannah gets unsolicited musical attention from heartbroken Adam and displeasing opinions on her writing from Sandy. Elijah questions his sexuality; Marnie makes a career compromise when her curatorial dreams are crushed; Jessa revels in married life; Shoshanna and Ray make magic; and Elijah and Marnie harbor a secret.

You did what?

Why are you freaking out?

Because you had sex
with a woman.

Okay, yes. Yes, I did, George.
But so what?

It's not like
I'm keeping it a secret.

So what?
Okay, okay.

Well, let's just leave aside the whole
infidelity portion for a moment

and just discuss the fact
that you had sex with a woman.

Elijah, you are a gay man.

I have always said I might be bi.

You knew that, George.
I have always said that.



I just let you talk because that's
what certain 25-year-old boys say

when their mothers
are from Boulder Springs.

- What's her name?
- Charlotte.

Charlotte. Charlotte.
Fuck you, Charlotte!

I've never even met you,
but fuck you!

Okay, you know what, George?

I'm sorry, but sexuality is fluid.

That's fucking ridiculous.

You come out of the closet.
You don't go back in.

It's fucking stuffy in there.

Why is it so hard to believe I can get
my dick up for a beautiful woman?

You could get your dick up
for a watermelon.

Do not act like this is normal.

I thought this whole age thing



was not going to be
a problem, but...

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
You're not breaking up with me, are you?

- I'm afraid I am.
- Because I fucked Marnie?

Yes, exactly.

- You don't wanna give this one more try?
- I do not, no.

- Okay, look, I made a mistake.
- I know. Listen.

It just says so much about
who you are right now.

I've spent so much time
confused and I'm not anymore,

so I don't want to be with someone
who's confused or-- or bi.

- What does that mean?
- I thought you knew what you wanted.

I did. I do.
I want this, okay?

So let's just move past this.

Let's-- I-- you will forget
that I fucked Marnie

and I'll forget
that you got drunk

and humiliated me in front
of everyone that I know.

I wasn't even with her
for that long.

It was, like, three pumps.

It was, like, two and a half
pumps, and then I lost my boner.

- What are these pumps?
- Pumps, thrusts, whatever.

Oh, dear God.

I can't imagine how Hannah
must be taking this.

Oh, I'm definitely
not telling her now.

What?

Oh, Christ.

Are you having a stroke?

♪ Standing outside ♪

♪ Not making a sound ♪

♪ Creeping around ♪

♪ You destroyed my heart ♪

♪ Thanks. ♪

Okay, track 10.

Am I supposed to be flattered by this?

- Nope.
- * Never would I have thought *

- * This would've happened... *
- So hard to watch.

* Never... *

It's scary with
all the tools behind him.

♪ You said this would
last forever ♪

♪ Now forever is never... ♪

He's not gonna shoot himself
at the end of this, is he?

I haven't made it
to the end yet.

♪ Never... ♪

Ugh, I've seen enough.

See?
You're so lucky.

This is what happens when
you break up with a sociopath.

And I know that I always said
he was murdery in a sexy way,

but what if he's murdery
in a murder way?

Well, at least
he's speaking to you.

George won't even return
my texts or my Facebook messages.

But I don't get what you did.

Who knows?
Folks that old have different rules.

But it's confusing 'cause everything
seemed fine with you guys.

You know what?
I don't think Adam's gonna murder you,

because I just-- I just don't
think he's that kind of freak.

Yeah, but isn't that what people say
right before they get murdered?

Yes, but I just don't think
he's in a murdering mindset.

So you basically are saying you don't
think he loved me enough to murder me.

And also, you know what?

I am so glad that this is over

because this opens up
space in my life

for the kind, sexy,
responsible boyfriend

that I've always wanted,
but never had.

Who's also a fucking Republican.

I don't get why that's
such a big deal, okay?

But also, I can deal
with your judgment

because I've always marched
to the beat of my own drummer

ever since I cut my camp
shirt into a halter top.

That is a true story.

Really stressful.

You're just a sad,
limp, little glowworm.

Mm-hmm.

Are you wearing a diaper?

Marnie Michaels
from Montclair, New Jersey.

You know, you have
a terrific little museum there

with wonderful Native
American artifacts, yes?

Yes, yes.

And we also have,
you know, a light orchestra

and we have a lot
of cafés everywhere.

Mm-hmm.

There's a farmers market
on Saturdays.

It's more cosmopolitan now,
I think, yes?

- Yes.
- Mm-hmm.

- I used to work at the bread stand.
- Mm! Mm!

- But he also had pesto and mozzarella.
- Too strong.

Molly, remember what I said?

Simple-- cup,
hot water, tea bag.

In, out.

In, out.
Show me.

In, out.

In, out.

- Sorry.
- It's okay.

And can you grab me juice
number five from the fridge?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

So let's see what we have.

You worked for Reese.

I did, yes.

It was a really great
growth experience.

Poor Reese.

She has made some
unfortunate life decisions.

Yeah, not great.
She's not good at living.

You know, I could offer you
a position at the front desk.

Amazing.
I'm so thrilled.

- But I won't.
- Sorry?

I mean, you're clearly a bright,

talented, attractive young woman.

You've got that suit.

Where does one get
a suit like that?

- Ann Taylor.
- Mm-hmm.

I don't see you here.

I'm not sure that I see you
in the art world.

Where do you see me?

I don't know.

I really like
having sex with you.

What?

I said I really
like having sex with you.

What?

I cannot hear you.

- Do I look clean?
- Oh, very thorough. I like it.

Where's my facial brush?

I didn't do anything
with your facial brush.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Am I not allowed to be
in my own bathroom anymore?

I don't know how you feel about being
in a tight space with a queer.

- Elijah!
- Really?

Are your parents Republican?

Actually, they're not, no.
I decided to be on my own.

- You don't need two Republicans to
make a Republican. - Oh, really?

They must be so proud
of your life choices.

They're like terrorists. You don't need
two terrorists to make a terrorist.

- That's great. - You don't need to have
this conversation with him, okay?

'Cause people are different.

Like you were with George
for a very long time

and he's still on Hotmail.

How dare you bring up George?

I heard about that.
I'm sorry, man.

It was just very sudden,
that's all.

By the way, have you gotten to read
that essay that I gave you yesterday?

Mm! Um, not yet.

I've been busy
with studying and stuff--

Busy reading
a Republican quarterly?

All right, I'm not
doing this with you.

And you have a good day.

- Bye.
- Okay? Bye.

- See you later.
- Bye.

- See you in a second.
- I get this.

- I don't approve, but I get it.
- Ah!

It's starting to look funny.
It's too much.

You've gone too high.

It's bananas.

I so wish you had been
at camp with me.

It was so amazing.

We would do water-skiing
or archery for sports,

and I was one of the few people

who won badges of honor
in both, obviously.

We had six potbellied pigs
who would get so dirty

and we would get
to take turns bathing them.

I've always wanted to bathe a pig
because they're physically tactile.

It feels like a human
'cause they don't have hair.

But in actuality you're
actually petting an animal.

So I think the confluence
of those things

would make me
experience an emotion

I've never really
experienced before.

You know what I mean? I'd love
to experience that emotion with you.

You'd be really good
at bathing a pig.

That's so sweet of you to say.

I bet you'd be great, too.
We should bathe a pig together.

- What's better than bathing a pig?
- Nothing.

- Ugh, great.
- What?

I just don't want
to be around people

who don't hate everything
in their life right now.

I really unorganized
my sweatshirt drawers.

Yeah? Do you wanna
pay me to reorganize it?

'Cause I really need
a job right now.

I was basically just told
at an interview

that curator as a job
doesn't really exist anymore.

Yeah, I think the world has the three
curators that it actually needs.

It's not like pop stars.

We don't need
a million of them.

You're so fucking fantastic.

This really sucks.
I mean, this was my plan.

I have to totally go back
to the drawing board here.

What am I gonna do
to make money?

What assets do I have?

You have a bachelor's degree.

- Ooh, yeah, a bachelor's degree.
- Uh-huh.

- You're really pretty.
- Absolutely. You are very pretty.

I'm personally not
attracted to you at all,

because I know you, but I
can respect and recognize.

You could totally make money
off how pretty you are.

Well, thank you.

Oh, my gosh, that's so nice.

I mean, I don't think
I'm, like, a model.

- No, not a model.
- Mm-mm.

No, I wasn't talking
about modeling.

But you could totally get
a pretty-person job

as, like, a hostess
or something in a club.

That sounds horrible.

Um, totally not horrible.

This girl I know
at school totally does it

at the Hurricane Club
or something.

She's a hostess and she makes,
like, a bazillion dollars a week

and has an incredible wardrobe

and fresh gel nails
all the time.

She got the job
in this agency,

and I'm totally getting
the number for you.

No, no, no.
Please don't.

Please don't call her.

Denise, hi.
It's Shosh.

How are you?
I'm amazing.

Mm.

I hate it.

No, I'm sure it's great, baby.

- Just--
- No, it's really terrible.

But do you know
what I realized?

It's because I'm painting
someone I love so much

and I'm so used to
painting things I hate,

like my mom or scenery.

Hold on.

- You want me to just hold this?
- Yeah. I'll be right back. I love you.

- Hi!
- Hi! How are you?

How was your honeymoon?
I missed you so much.

- It was amazing.
- Shit. What time is it?

Uh, 2:00?

Oh, fuck.
I'm unposing.

Honey, I have to--
I have to go to a meeting.

- Hey, Thomas-John.
- Oh.

- Hi.
- Hey, Danna. How are you doing?

- Really good. How are you?
- I'm great. I'm so great.

I haven't seen you
since the wedding, girl.

It's so nice of you to stop by.

- Amazing place you have.
- Aw, thank you.

It's my little paradise
with my little paradise wife.

How fun.

- Have you shown her yet?
- What?

- Aw...
- Oh, yeah. Look!

- Check that out.
- Oh, my God.

We got fucking
matching tiger tattoos.

That looks like it's a
primitive tiger or something.

I didn't ask.

- It's good, though, right?
- Yeah, it looks amazing.

- Okay, I'm sorry.
- Ferocious.

I gotta go. I've missed
so many fucking meetings.

- You know what it's like.
- Yeah, of course.

But you guys have fun.
And you get whatever you want.

I don't want you to go.

Whatever you want,
you just get it.

Get me some ointment
for the tattoo.

- Danna, it's so nice to see you.
- You, too.

- And you know what? You're just so great.
- Thank you.

I was just saying to you this morning
that I always am impressed

by what you do
with what you got.

I mean, what is this?

It's like a pair of shorteralls.

What is that?
Did you coin that?

I wish.
If I coined it, I'd be rich.

No. Shorteralls--
it's sort of like--

it's the ease of a short skirt--

Do you know what?
Can we pick this up later?

I just have a meeting, so I'm
just gonna have to scoot off.

- Have a great time, guys.
- You, too.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Oh, God.

For my baby.

It's just a little
somethin'-somethin'.

Don't open it until I leave.

Promise?

- Bye.
- Bye-bye.

What do you think it is?

I did ask for a Jambox
for the shower.

Oh.

- Oh, my God. Look at them!
- Oh, my God!

- Oh, my God.
- Oh, I love them! They're puppies!

Oh, my God.
They're fetus-size.

I'm gonna call this one Garbage,

- this one Fucker...
- Mm-hmm.

- ...and that one--
- Hanukah.

Hanukah, sure.
Yeah.

So you're good?

Hannah, I am so good.
Are you kidding?

I have never been
this well in my life.

No, I know.
I mean, you seem good.

It's just that the wedding
was so quick and unexpected.

I didn't know how to
process it or if you'd--

Yeah, well, you tend
to overthink things,

and that's an issue for you.

This is what it's like
when the hunt is over.

I think Sandy really likes me.

I really like him, too.
He's so nice and funny.

And when we have sex, there's no
part of me that wants to pretend

I don't exist,
which is a rarity.

That's awesome.

But he's kind of a Republican,
which feels weird.

What's wrong with a Republican?

It's just the same
as a Democrat.

They're all dirtbags.

I mean, Bill Clinton's the one who
got rid of our Glass-Steagall Act,

which is why our economy's
in the toilet.

How did I not know that?

Just read the newspaper.
Just read one newspaper.

All that matters, Hannah, is that
your rising signs are compatible

and that, you know,
the sex is at least decent

and that he supports you
creatively, really.

I don't know about
his rising sign,

but he's super supportive
creatively.

Like, I gave him my essay three days ago,
and he's so excited to read it.

He's been really busy
with finals and stuff,

but he seems
so excited to read it.

- He hasn't read it yet?
- No, he's been really busy with law school.

Really?
That's bullshit.

Thomas-John looks at my paintings

the moment I show them to him.

I know.
That was so--

He's not reading your essays,
he's not reading you.

You should look around
yourself right now, Hannah.

Life is never gonna get
any better than this for you.

Did you get a chance to read
that thing I gave you earlier?

Um... I actually haven't--

I've just been so busy.

I just haven't been able to,
but I will.

Oh.

I guess I just feel like

if you really cared about me,

you probably would have
read it already.

You know, just 'cause you would've
felt like you had to, kind of.

I-- I actually did
read your essay.

You read it?

So?

It was-- I didn't--
it wasn't for me exactly.

I mean, it was probably for you.

It's, like, for everyone.
It's not a--

You see? This is why
I didn't wanna talk about it.

'Cause it's gonna get weird.
You're getting weird.

I'm not getting weird.
I'm 100% not getting weird.

I honestly-- I gave it to you
'cause I wanted your notes.

I want to know what you actually
thought, so please give me notes.

Okay, for starters,
it was very well-written.

I know. That's the stuff
that I don't need to hear.

I just need to hear
what you didn't like.

I just didn't feel like
anything happened in it.

Nothing was happening.

Okay, well, you know,
a girl's whole perspective

on who she was
and her sexuality changed.

But if that feels
like nothing-- I get it.

Yeah, but ultimately it felt
like just waiting in line

and all the nonsense that goes through
your brain when you're trying to kill time.

- I mean--
- Okay. Sorry, I have something in my ear.

Okay.
Well, there--

there wasn't really
anything going on.

Okay. I hear that.

But it was really well-written.

And I don't want you
to take that the wrong way,

'cause I really--
it was really well-written.

- Yeah. I liked it. It was good.
- Really? Okay, cool.

And, you know, and I--

I'm actually so happy
that you didn't like it.

If you just loved it like everyone
else does, that would be so simple.

But this actually opens up
a dialogue about my work,

the same kind of dialogue we've
had about your political beliefs.

There's no dialogue.

I know what I believe.
I'm steadfast in it.

I'm fine with it.

So you mean even though you spend all
this time with me and my gay roommate,

you don't have any feeling that he should
be allowed to have a beautiful wedding

like all the ones we saw earlier
on "Say Yes to the Dress"?

Hannah, this is because
I didn't like your essay.

It's not because
you didn't like my essay,

it's because we're having
an open conversation

about things we believe in.

And I'm also a little
horrified by the fact

that you think people should
just be allowed to own guns.

It's way more
complicated than that.

- Is it, though?
- Yeah.

- More complicated than that?
- Yeah, it is.

I also would love to know
how you feel about the fact

that two out of three people
on death row are black men.

Wow, Hannah.
I didn't know that.

Thank you for enlightening me about
how things are tougher for minorities.

Thank you.

- I can't tell if you're being sarcastic.
- I am.

Okay, well...

this is hard for me to say,
'cause I really like you,

but I think our political beliefs
are just too different

and that we should
just be friends.

I knew this.
This always happens.

- This always happens. I don't even know--
- What always happens?

This. This whole--
like, "Oh, I'm a white girl

and I moved to New York
and I'm having a great time."

And, "Oh, I've got a fixed gear bike
and I'm gonna date a black guy

and we're gonna go
to a dangerous part of town."

All that bullshit?
Like, yeah, I know this.

I've seen it happen
a million times.

And then they can't deal
with who I am.

You know what? Honestly, maybe
you should think about the fact

that you could be fetishizing me.

Because how many
white women have you dated?

- Sounds like a lot from what you just said.
- What? Really?

And maybe you think of us as
just one big, white, blobby mass

with stupid ideas
that you can't deal with.

So why don't you lay this thing down,
flip it, and reverse it?

Because I don't think
it's very nice.

You just said
a Missy Elliott lyric.

- And you-- I'm sure--
- I don't know who that is.

Bullshit, okay?
It doesn't--

The joke's on you,
because you know what?

I never thought about the fact
that you were black once.

That's insane, okay?

You should,
'cause that's what I am.

I didn't even think about it
till you said it just now

'cause I don't live in a world where
there are divisions like that.

You do, okay?

That's just the--
you're the one who brought up

the two out of three
black males statistic.

I didn't say two out of three
guys like you. I said black men.

I wasn't even thinking that I was
sitting next to a black guy.

You've gotta go.
You've gotta leave right now.

I do not feel good
about this conversation.

Okay.
Neither do I.

Do you wanna have sex still?

No.

I didn't feel like it either.

I just didn't want you
to have blue balls

because that's another thing
I don't believe in.

You're so sweet.
You're so sweet.

- I thought she'd be back by now.
- Why?

You're not planning on telling her
anything you're not supposed to, are you?

Elijah, no.

I would never do
anything like that.

Although I have been thinking I don't
think it's really fair to Hannah

and I don't want a secret like
this to exist between us.

Secret? What? We're roommates.
We're not married.

- So then why can't we just tell her?
- Marnie, this will hurt her.

She is thin-skinned
like a little baby

and she will take this
so, so personally

and it'll become
a huge thing about,

"Why aren't you attracted to me?
Why didn't you invite me?"

But it had nothing
to do with her.

Isn't it enough that
George broke up with me?

- I am devastated.
- Oh, please.

I can't let this take a
wrecking ball to my whole life.

How long must I pay
for this mistake?

It's been, like, five minutes.

- No.
- Fine.

I won't say anything.
I was just wondering anyway.

- What the fuck are you wearing?
- It's my uniform.

You look like
a slutty Von Trapp child.

- Hi.
- Oh, hi.

- Hey.
- Hi. I was just leaving.

I was just coming to see you.

Well, Sandy and I broke up,
so that's over.

- Oh, God, that sucks.
- Oh, I'm so surprised. What happened?

Your rights happened
and your rights happened,

'cause I can't be with someone who's
not an ally to gays and women.

- Uh, thank you.
- Thanks.

I'm out.

- Is that new?
- Oh, this?

It's my uniform.
I got a job today.

I'm the new hostess
at the Wedgebrook Club.

A hostess.

Why are you saying it like that?

I'm not saying it any way.

It's just like-- I don't know.
Why?

Um, I don't know.

'Cause I can make
a ton of money.

It's like 400 bucks a day.

It's pretty much
the perfect job, actually.

I have time to explore
my own interests.

I get to meet a ton
of interesting people.

I get to work on
my interpersonal skills.

It's perfect.

Yeah, but the Wedgebrook Club--

isn't that just like
catering to rich, old men?

It's like I know I make only $40 a day
at Grumpy's, but that's clean money.

Like, I've made a choice.

- Did you?
- Yeah.

Not to cash in on my sexuality.

Huh.

Oh, you think I'm not pretty
enough for a pretty-person job.

Hannah, I think you're
beautiful and you know that.

I'm just saying
I don't think you have

the appropriate disposition
for this job, that's all.

Oh, my God, I have
a terrific disposition.

And an entire range
of kinds of men like me--

black men, Republicans, et al.

"Et al"?

Really?

What?

And start off cutting--

start off cutting this way.

Just down.

And then trim it

like this.

All the way through.

And then... that's it.

Simple.

It really isn't brain surgery.

Now you are ready

for the perfect sticker photo.

Adam?

- Cinco de Mayo!
- Ah!

It's not fuckin' funny.
What are you doing here?

You gave me a key.

That's a key for emergencies.

Well, it's an emergency.
I can't find my cast.

Oh, my God.

You okay?
You look kind of tired.

Look, I'm sorry about the album.

I shouldn't have sent you
such hostile songs.

No, 'cause you shouldn't
have written me any songs

and you shouldn't
be here right now.

Can I have some milk?

- Are you serious?
- Yeah, a little.

Okay, but then you have
to leave, okay?

When I'm done.
I'll go when I'm done.

Yo, milkmaid, milk please.

- Cacaw!
- Oh!

It's not funny, okay?

It's not funny.

Thank you.

Hannah, I hear where you stand.

And as an outsider
looking in, I'm impressed

and I applaud how maturely you've
handled your resolve to end this.

Thank you.

But as a man living my man life,

my desire for you
cannot be repressed.

And to quit this pursuit
would be to shirk self-respect

and abandon my own manhood,

and that's not going to happen.

I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah, but you shouldn't
come back tomorrow.

Uh, but I might.

But you really shouldn't,

because I really
want you to go away.

Adam, I'm not kidding.

I would really
like you to go away.

- Make me.
- I'm seriously not joking, okay?

- And if I said go away...
- Whoa! Whoa, watch it.

...and you don't go away,
that is space rape.

- You gave me a key.
- I'm not-- I did give you a key.

I gave you a key
when we were going out.

And now we're not
going out, so go away!

Go away!

Go away!
I'm serious!

Go away.

I don't understand that.

- Well, do you understand now?
- Yeah.

Okay. Okay.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, too.

Okay, I'll see you later.

Adam.

Yeah.

Hannah Horvath?

Is that a boy?

- Hannah Horvath?
- Uh, yes?

We had a 911 hang-up.
What's the complaint here?

Uh, there's no complaint here.

- Did you call 911, miss?
- Uh, no, I did not call 911.

Miss, we're just
following procedure.

What was the reason
for your calling?

Well, there was no reason for
my call 'cause I didn't call 911.

She didn't call 911.
I've been with her the whole time.

Hannah, did you call 911?

I didn't even let it ring.

I honestly--
I pressed 911, I hung up.

Are you fucking serious?

- You called the po-po?
- Well, you were stalking me.

We're gonna have
to take you both down

so you can fill out a report.

Honestly, no.
He didn't do anything wrong.

I was just asking about
restraining orders.

He didn't do anything wrong. I just
wanted a restraining order against him.

Are you fucking serious?

Maybe I should have filed
a restraining order against you

when you used to show up at my house
all the time in fucking knee socks.

I did that one time.

- And a Jason mask.
- Calm down, sir.

Hey, I can't believe that you guys
come every time somebody calls.

I mean, that seems
really alarmist and crazy.

What's your name, young man?

He does not have
to tell you his name.

Adam Sackler is my name,
and I would like to take out

a restraining order
against her.

- You can't do that.
- If you can, I can.

I wasn't doing
any stalking.

Not recently, no!

Okay, you're gonna have
to come with us, sir.

Honestly, we really can work
this out between ourselves.

No, the system is telling me

you have two unpaid
parking tickets.

And an ignored summons
for public urination.

This is fucking unbelievable.

You have the right
to remain silent.

Anything you say or do can be held
against you in a court of law.

- I'm so sorry.
- But what if I wanna talk?

I'm so sorry.

I'm gonna talk to you,
Hannah, all the time.

I'm just gonna keep calling
'cause I'm crazy!

- I'm crazy!
- Take it easy.

Number one-F crazy!

I just wanted him
to stop texting me.

Where are you guys going?

I'm so glad you are keeping

the real criminals off the streets.

Do you wanna just tell me where--
I might come later.

I am so sorry!

* When we're dancing and you're
dangerously close to me *

* I get ideas *

* I get ideas *

* I wanna hold you so much
closer than I dare to *

* I wanna scold you 'cause I
care more than I care to *

* And when you touch me with
that fire and everything else *

* I get ideas *

* I get ideas *

* And after we have said good
night and then you look out *

* I kind of figured
you get ideas, too *

* And when you touch me with
that fire and everything else *

* Oh, I get ideas *

* Oh, I get ideas *

* And after we have
said good night *

* And then you linger *

* I kind of figured
you get ideas, too *

* Your eyes
are always saying *

* The things
you're never saying *

* I think they could be
saying *

* That you could
love me, too *

* Oh, but
that's the whole idea *

* It's true *

* Oh, that lovely idea
that I'm falling in love *

* Falling in love *

* With you. *