Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 7, Episode 7 - French Twist - full transcript

Okay, sweetie, what do we say to
mommy when we see her at the airport?

Bonjour!

"Bonjour, mama!
What's the haps?"

I don't know the french
word for "haps." Passports?

Got 'em. But sweetie,
even after we meet up with mommy,

we're gonna stay with
you all day, okay?

All day. You will not
be able to shake us. Cash?

Check.

- Confusing shorthand.
- Check -- I've got cash.

Thank you.

Will there be food
on the plane?

There will be food,

but airplane food is one
of life's cruel jokes,

so, just in case,
we have snacks up the wazoo.

Are you sure the departure's 3:30?
Why did I think it was later?

3:30-ish.

That's what it says on the ticket?
"Departure 3:30-ish"?

Oh, it doesn't matter.
Traffic this time of day's impossible.

All right, honey. Let's go.

You choose a trip to France
to start using free weights?

Those are my shoes--
of course it's heavy.

You teach them and teach them,

but they never learn,
do they, G.G.?

Why do I feel like the
departure was 6:15?

Let's go.

Now, G.G.,
you are gonna love Paris.

You know,
they call it "the city of love."

- Why?
- Why?

Well, because it's romantic,

and there's just
love everywhere.

Of course,
there's also pigeons everywhere,

but nobody would want to visit
the city of pigeons, would they?

I think we're ready.

Are you gonna tell me what time
this flight actually leaves?

Soon.

Your daddy is very vague, G.G.

How cool is it that
we're going to France?

You're going to have such a
good time staying in Paris.

I am green with envy.
Am I green?

- It's more of a teal.
- It goes great with my eyes.

Driver, take us to France!
Au revoir, house!

Au revoir, house!

We're pretty low on gas.
Gonna have to stop and get some.

Honey, how do we have time
to stop for gas?

Our flight's not
for 3 1/2 hours.

We knew it, G.G., didn't we?

G.G. and I knew it.

So, as your newly
elected editor in chief,

it is my great honor to...

- honor... the stepping down...
- Okay.

- "Stepping down."
- Eloquent.

...of our former leader.

Anyone else thinking "recall"?

That's okay, Bill. Keep going.

As I was saying, in recognition

of Rory's hard work and
devotion to the Daily News,

we have a few tokens
of our appreciation.

A.K.?

This is just something
to hang on your wall

when you become editor
of the New York Times.

Oh, thank you.

It's the front page of the
last edition you edited.

Yeah, she needed
that explained.

Rory... this is to commemorate
all those articles of ours

that you
carefully, thoughtfully

ripped to shreds.

Thank you, Rob.
Now I think I have to go out

and buy a freakishly
large pencil sharpener.

I have a confession to make.

I only joined the Yale Daily
News as a way to meet cute guys,

but after watching you handle the
job of editor with intelligence

and... and grace...

I became inspired to
become a journalist.

Thank you.

Whoa, Joni,
I'm touched and a little damp.

- It's okay.
- Sorry.

I have a Rory story.

When I was running the paper,
I was dying to do an article

about everybody's asinine
obsession with Boho Chic,

but Rory had the
guts to tell me

that the idea for my
article was trite and pass?,

because that's who Rory is --

honest, direct,
and to the point.

Like, when you all turned on me

and decided you didn't
want me in charge anymore,

and you all chewed me
up and spit me out,

Rory was the one who
broke the news to me.

Thank you, Rory,

for being the one
person with integrity

among a collection
of cowardly back servers.

These are all such
great stories.

- To Rory.
- To Rory!

Thank you very much.

I didn't write a
speech or anything,

although I could recite "The
Charge of the Light Brigade,"

or the lyrics to
"Rebel Rebel"...

Let's hear it.

...neither of which I think
are appropriate, but, um...

Look, I've really
enjoyed being editor.

It's been great.

But it's time for
a change, right?

So sayeth the Yale
Daily News bylaws.

Um, so...

ladies and gentlemen,

I give you your new
editor in chief --

what's your name again?

Ha ha.

Anyway, my first editorial move

is to take everyone
to Rich Man's Shoe.

Drinks on me.

All right,
that's what I'm talking about!

All right! All right!

Coming?

- Huh?
- For drinks?

Uh, no. I think I'm gonna pass.

How come?

Um, well, new editor,
new regime --

I don't want it to seem like I'm
still trying to be your boss.

Yeah, no one likes someone hanging
around, telling us how to get drunk.

You know what I mean.

Yeah.

- See you around.
- You too.

Well, now we're both
ousted leaders.

Welcome to club Nixon.

Twins, Zach.
We're having twins.

Yeah, it's heavy,
but we can handle it.

Twice as many mouths to feed,
twice as much to clean up after...

Yeah, all that --
plus, there's gonna be prejudice,

- but we can fight that.
- What?

And they have
surgeries now, babe.

- This does not have to be permanent.
- What doesn't?

As long as the babies don't have some vital
organ attached, they can be separated--

- easy-breezy.
- What are you talking about?

Until the operation,
we'll just get specially made clothes.

Unless they're attached at the head.
Then they can wear just about anything.

I mean,
we just slip it on from the feet up --

Zach, we're having twins,
not siamese twins.

Dude, that is such
a load off my mind!

So than why were you freaking
out at the doctor's office?

Because we're having twins!

Yeah, but they're separate.
It's, like, way easier.

Easier than what?
Triplets? Siamese triplets?

Yeah, Zach, twins is way
easier than siamese triplets.

I think we kind of have to tell
your mother you're pregnant now.

Ugh... she is so
going to kill me!

- I mean, you're starting to show.
- Of course I'm starting to show!

My body's filling up
with two growing people!

She is so gonna think we
had sex before the wedding,

and she'll convince me we did.

But we didn't.
Believe me. I'd remember.

You don't understand.
This is what she does to me.

She gives me this look, and I get
all panicky and start sweating.

Once, at a church picnic,
someone had taken a bite

out of six deviled eggs and
put them back on the platter.

My mother accused me of doing it,
and I almost confessed!

- But you hate deviled eggs.
- That's the point!

After she gave me that look,
I wasn't sure.

Maybe I had taken those bites.

She gets in my head.
It's like korean voodoo.

It's gonna be okay. It is.

Whoa... you know what
this picture is?

Our first album cover.

Zach...

Yeah, it's like a
prenatal "Nevermind."

Merci...

monsieur... bellhop. Jeesh.

Did you see that? He literally
sniffed at my tip and sauntered off.

Yeah, he sniffed and sauntered.
He did not hop.

The bellhop was a gem
compared to the concierge.

Isn't it his job to be polite?

You would think the
concierge would be polite.

It's not like we're being
obnoxious and asking someone

to take a picture of us in
front of Jim Morrison's grave.

Which, by the way,
I promised Rory we would do.

I hope G.G. picks up
the language and the customs,

but none of the rudeness.

Oh, no, G.G.'s too sweet.

She's got an impenetrable
coat of sweetness around her.

You shouldn't have called her G.G.,
you should've called her M&M's.

You were great with
her the whole flight.

You were also great
with Sherry today. Thank you.

She was great with me.

So, it's not just me, right?
She does seem to have it together?

Yeah, she seems
grounded and sincere.

She was nice. I couldn't believe
how prepared for G.G. she was.

She was.
She had her favorite "Madeline" book.

She knew where the
nearest park was.

And did you see?
She already had a booster seat.

Very impressive. But by the time
I got Rory one of those,

she was 60 pounds.
It got stuck on her butt.

Oh, my god.

- What?
- We're in Paris!

You were thinking
it was Phoenix?

I just wasn't
thinking anything.

I mean, I was focused on getting G.G.
all settled in.

It slipped my mind that we're in the
most beautiful city in the world!

The Phoenix of Europe.

First we have to go to Harry's
bar and smoke gauloises cigarettes

and get in a fight about
cubism and gesticulate wildly.

I am going to call our
friend the concierge

and make a reservation at the most
romantic restaurant in Paris.

Ask him why these beds are
so insanely comfortable.

Yes, can I -- No, no, no, no, no!
Hey, hey, hey!

No sleeping. We are in Paris now.
We are on Paris time.

- Fight the jet lag.
- Fighting the jet lag.

Jet lag strong.

Yes, I'm sorry, sir. Could I make
a 8:30 reservation at L'Arp?ge?

Yes...

Uh-huh, I-I understand.

Thank you.

Did he book it?

He did. He also
reminded us to wear shoes.

I sense he has a very
low opinion of americans.

Well, the french might be rude,

but they know how to
make a very cozy bed.

- Lorelai?
- What?

- I know you're tired.
- A tad.

I know you've been awake for
something like 30 hours...

32 1/2.

...just to help me make the
transition easier for G.G.,

and I really appreciate it.

Aww, don't mention it.

And I just want to show
you the best possible time

that you can have in Paris
because you deserve it.

Aww, you're sweet.

- Lorelai... Lorelai! Lorelai!
- Okay, all right.

Yes, we're gonna get up,
'cause we're in Paris,

and we're gonna have
a great parisian time.

- We are!
- Yes!

Hey, is the Tour de
France still going on?

'Cause we could stand on
a little Paris street

and yell "whoo-hoo"
when the guys go by,

or I could pour a cup of water on
one of them as he goes whooping by.

Actually, the Tour de France
was a couple of months ago.

But we are going to a beautiful,
intimate restaurant,

and after we finish our meal,
you can throw water on me.

Whoo-hoo!

What are you doing right now?

Not much.

Would you mind swinging by
the library to drop these off?

I'd do it, but I just got
cornered by professor Edwards.

She wants to meet for
coffee in five minutes

to discuss me being her T.A.
second semester.

I got to start thinking
about life after graduation.

Cozying up to professor Edwards
could be a fast pass to a fellowship.

I guess that's true.

- What about you?
- What about me?

You looking into any fellowships?
Scholarships? Grad schools?

Not really. I mean, not yet.

I will, probably.

Time's running out. They only give
the Lsat one more time before spring.

Anyway, thanks for
dropping off the books.

I don't mean to make
you run out of your way.

I just thought you have a lot of
free time since you don't work

- at the paper anymore.
- That is true.

What are you taking,
by the way?

Taking?

Just remember,
tricyclic antidepressants

are better than your
monoamine oxidase inhibitors,

since those are
for panic attacks.

It doesn't look like
you're there yet.

I have no plans of going there.

You will.

I know when I was finished as editor,
I went into a major tailspin.

Can you tell ?

You masked it so well with your
generally gloomy disposition.

The first day is hard.
Then it just gets worse.

As it happens,
I am totally relieved

that my job at
the paper is over.

Yeah, I did the
denial thing, too.

I even tried smiling a lot. That got
old, and I think it made this line.

That'll teach you to smile.

You know, you really shouldn't
be alone at a time like this.

Why don't you call your
"girls gone wild" friends?

They seem delightful in a
"get crazy-drunk in Cancun

and flash your
breasts" kind of way.

Your take on Lucy and
Olivia is so not them.

Whatever. Later.

Oh, and Lexapro is fast-acting,
but side effects

are weight gain and noticeable
drop in sexual appetite.

Of course, with Logan gone,
that's moot.

Always a pleasure, Paris.

How's the maeun-tang?

- Good!
- Yeah!

Really good maeun-tang.

How was work?

- Oh, yeah, my work is good.
- My work is good.

That's good.

This is great dinner, mama.

I'm glad you like it.

It's been too long since
we had dinner together.

Way too long.

I think you've been avoiding me,
and I know why.

- We haven't been avoiding --
- Do not try to fool me.

I know what's going on.

You have no new music to show me,
and you are ashamed.

- Music?
- Yes, music --

the thing you say you
want to do for a living.

Oh, no, I do!
Yeah, I've been working on some stuff.

What kind of stuff?

Actually, I've been experimenting
with different instruments.

Like, I've been playing electric
mandolin, which sound really--

Mom, I'm pregnant!

We waited until after we were married!
If you don't believe us,

we have a note from our doctor,

which doesn't prove anything,
but it does!

- Hit me! Hit me!
- Firmly established --

- It's my fault! Hit me!
- It happened during the --

A new child is a
great blessing.

Really?

Chuka hamnida, Lane and Zach.

She says, "congratulations."

Really?

Then you should say
"chuka hamnida hamnida"

Because we're having twins.

- Twins?
- Twins.

Oh, that's wonderful.

So, monday,
you move in with me.

Cool.

I must go e-mail this good news
to our relatives in Pusan.

They just got wi-fi.

"Cool"?!

No! Oh, no, no, no! No, no, no!

- What? What?
- Honey, get up! Get up!

I'm up! I'm up! I'm up! I'm up!

What? We got to go, right?
I-I got to shave?

No, not unless
you're a werewolf!

What?

It's the middle of the night!

- What?
- It's 4:00!

- What's 4:00?
- That. It.

- It's 4:00?
- Yes! It's 4:00!

We fell asleep! Damn the french
and their comfortable beds!

Oh, we must've dozed
off around 7:00.

We just had ourselves
a 9-hour nap.

Nine hours?! That's not a nap.

That's a coma.

Wow, the city looks
really beautiful...

and dead.

Ugh, okay -- this place is very
tastefully decorated and everything,

but would it kill them to
put a minibar in here?

- I'm starving.
- Me too.

You don't think they're still holding
our table at L'Arp?ge, do you?

I'm guessing our table at
L'Arp?ge smells of disinfectant

and has two chairs
on top of it.

It's okay, it's okay!
I can fix this!

Room service!
What are you in the mood for?

Um... I would like a cheeseburger
with a side of cheeseburger,

and see if they can make me
a cheeseburger smoothie.

Well, if they can make goose
innards into a tasty spread,

I'm sure they can make
a cheeseburger smoothie.

Yes, sir, hi.

I would like to order
some room service.

What'd he say?

He didn't say,
so much as chortle.

No room service?
And no minibar?

But two toilets.
Where are their priorities?

Okay, let me float
another plan.

Don't say "float" unless
"root beer" is attached to it.

It's after 4:00.

Why don't we get a
few more hours' sleep,

we wake up early,
feast on a delicious french breakfast,

and then we hit Paris
totally refreshed.

Oh, fine...

Crummy Europe.
Crummy time change.

We switched to the
metric system --

why don't they switch
to our time zone?

- We didn't actually switch --
- I know!

Never been so wide awake.

I'm more wide awake.

So wide awake I could watch

the Ken Burns documentary
of "Sod" and not drift off.

There are 104 fleur-de-lis
stencil on the ceiling --

that's how wide awake I am.

I tried humming Brahms'
"Lullaby" in my head,

but it kept morphing
into "Purple Rain,"

and "Purple Rain" made
me think of grapes,

which made me think of grape jam,
which made me think

of english muffins
slathered in grape jam.

Hold it -- this is
the greatest city in the world.

There is a restaurant out there,
still open,

with candles and soft
lighting and great food,

and I'm gonna find it for you.

My hero.

Besides, just being out on the
Paris streets late at night --

what could be more romantic?

Being out on the Paris
streets late at night

eating a big, fat cheeseburger.

- Hello?
- Hey, it's Rory.

Hey, what's going on?

Not a lot. What's up with you?

I'm sitting here making a
mobile for my sister's baby.

But it's turning
out really good,

so I might just keep it for myself
and give the baby a pair of socks.

Or make her a mobile
out of socks.

Oh, that's genius.

What's Lucy doing?

Watching "Real World: Denver."

Lucy's eating it up with a fork and
spoon 'cause boyfriend's working,

and you know how much
he hates reality TV.

Does he?

I keep forgetting --
you still haven't met boyfriend.

Yeah, I'm beginning to
wonder if he really exists,

or if he's just
Lucy's Snuffleupagus.

Lucy, it's Rory!

Hey! What's up, girl?

Hey, Lucy!

Rory says "hey."

You guys feel like
doing something?

We should go somewhere!

Cool, where do you want to go?

I want to go to the country,
I want to get off campus.

It's the weekend.
Let's get out of here.

I'd so love to go to,
like, a cabin in the woods.

Or just a house.

We could... go to my house.

Yeah?

I mean, it's in Stars Hollow.
It's this really small town,

and there's not a lot to do...

Oh, my god.
Does your house have a yard?

And a porch?

The house has a yard and
a porch with a swing,

and the swing makes this
little creaking sound.

That sounds so perfect.

When we get there, I'm definitely
mixing up a batch of lemonade

and flirting with Slim,
"The Hired Hand".

Slim The Hired Hand is a hottie,
but he's missing a hand.

Ironic, huh?

Pick you up in a little bit?

We'll be here.

Bye.

So, class,
the word for "closed" is...

You know, after seeing this sign
in seven different restaurants,

it's no longer informative--
It's just mocking.

This place looks good, too.

Even the sound of it -- Ferm?.

- Let's try around the corner.
- It has a mocking tone.

"Ha ha,
ferm?." Do you hear that?

I hear a woman who's delusional
with hunger. Come on.

See, this is why french
people are so skinny --

'cause they have no
late-night snacks.

How do you explain
G?rard Depardieu?

Oh, that's obvious. G?rard
Depardieu has hogged all the food.

- Did you see that?
- Yeah. Oh, I saw that.

Come on.

What do you say?
You hit him high, I hit him low.

Monsieur?!

Wait-- attendez!

We just want to know where
you got the sandwich!

- Oh, look what you did!
- What?

You charged him.

Everyone knows you
don't charge a bear

or a man with a sandwich.

That's a lot of bread.

What are the chances there's
a butter truck nearby?

Uh, pardonne-moi. Bonsoir.

- Nous avons, hungry, hungry...
- I got it. I got it.

Funny americans, huh?

Yeah, funny.
Hungry americans, huh?

"Everybody loves Raymond."

No, no, no! Wait, wait, wait!

Happy people, the french.

What?

Nothing. It's weird...

it's just being this hungry
makes me think of this time

when we were in 10th grade,
and, for some reason,

I had to make up this
chemistry exam during lunch,

and it went on and on and on forever,
and then finally,

when I was done, I came out...

and there you were,
waiting for me.

And you took this slice of
pizza from the cafeteria

out of your coat pocket,
and you gave it to me.

Pepperoni -- I remember.

Even then, you were so sweet.

Head back to the hotel?

You don't still have that
pizza anywhere, do you?

- Different coat.
- Darn!

Babe, could you
check on my order?

Oh, I did. I asked Luke where it was,
and Luke said,

"from now on,
if Zach wants to eat here,

he has to stand on his head
in the middle of the diner

and eat out of a rusty bucket."

So I said, "cool!"

I couldn't help it, Lane!
I was so relieved

that your mother wasn't pissed
off about the pregnancy.

"Cool" just came out,
like a happy vocal burp.

Next time, cover your mouth!

Jeez!

Kirk, what are you doing?

Trying to feel a kick.

You're gonna feel a kick if you
don't get your hand off my stomach.

So, I don't know if you've decided where
you're gonna drop this little load,

but I highly recommend Woodbury
Memorial, where I was born.

Good to know.

The maternity suites
there are primo,

and they let the mother hold the baby
post-delivery as long as she wants.

Explains a lot about the relationship
between me and my mother.

- Yes, it does.
- Kirk, go away

and stop harassing
my employees.

You should sit awhile.

No, I'm fine!
Standing's no problem.

All right, but from now on,
no more serving heavy food --

your meat loaves, your bowls of stew.
Somebody who orders that--

let Caesar carry it.
He needs the workout.

- Well, that's not really --
- And if you have any questions

or are worried about anything
having to do with...

you know, what's going on there,
I'll call my sister, Liz --

she's a veteran.

Thanks, Luke.

Anyway, uh...

you two are gonna be great.

You'll be great parents.

Zach...

we're gonna be parents.

Yeah, it's like...
we're not just kids anymore.

We're one of them now.

Parents don't have to
be told what to do.

Parents do the telling.

That's right.

Besides, if we say no,
what's the worst your mother could do?

Seriously, b-babe,
w-what is the worst she could do?

Yeah.

What, "yeah"?

That's what I'm talking about.

Yeah?

I'll say.

I can barely talk.

Uh-huh, which is, uh...

Saying something?

I could just live in
this room forever.

Let's.

- Except--
- No "except."

It's decided. Call the guy.

Come seal the doors.

- I'm too hungry!
- Me too.

My stomach is a pit.

I know. If I don't eat something,
my stomach's gonna eat me.

We need to find food!

We do!

Look at that view.

It's so beautiful,
I could eat it.

- Oh, my god.
- What?

- I could totally fix this!
- How?

I'm not gonna tell you.

- Let's shower.
- Tell me.

- It's a surprise.
- Tell me.

- I'm not gonna tell you.
- Come on!

Not telling.

Is this your fix?

To get me to think
about what your fix is

instead of thinking
about food, huh?!

- Is it working?
- A little.

All I can tell you is it's
bigger than a breadbox.

Mmm, bread.

- Come on!
- Okay!

There's Dean.

Ooh, Dean is smokin'.

Oh, yeah. Dean's a fox.

- He looks tall.
- He is.

How can you tell from
a picture of his face?

- It's a talent I have.
- Spooky.

Yeah, right, I figure I'll be
recruit by the FBI any day now.

It's a very specific specialty.

Wait, there you are.

Oh yeah. That was my first
year at the Chilton paper.

Look at you and your
big Rory smile.

What are you there -- 5'2"?

More like 5'7".

Are you sure?
You don't look like 5'7".

I'm sure. Is this dye supposed
to smell all vinegary?

Mm-hmm. It means it's working.

I feel like an easter egg.

Boyfriend is gonna totally
freak when he sees this color.

- Freak, like, be mad?
- No.

First, he'll be like,
"whoa," and then like, "I like it,"

and I'll be like,
"thanks," and he'll be all,

"I thought you looked
pretty good before, too,"

and I'll be like,
"better?" And he'll be like,

"No, I think you look good
no matter what you do,"

and I'll be like,
"what if I got a mohawk?"

and he'll be like,
"even if you had a mohawk,"

and then we'll look at each other
all goony-eyed, and we'll kiss,

and he'll say,
"don't get a mohawk."

And too bad if he
doesn't like it.

Serves him right for
working all the time.

Boyfriend's got great hair.

Oh, the best.
It's, like, beyond human.

Like, Conan O'Brien's?

No, it's, like, really full.

It's more like a
cartoon character.

Yeah, it's like Snap's hair from Snap,
Crackle, and Pop.

Wait, am I thinking of Crackle?

Is Crackle the one
who wears a hat?

They all wear hats.
It's like part of their uniform.

Yeah, but one of them wears
it all the way on his head,

and one wears it further
back so his bangs swoop out.

That's Pop.
The blond one's definitely Pop.

Okay, so boyfriend's got the color
of Crackle and the style of Pop.

Ooh! We should make
Rice Krispy treats.

- Oh, my gosh!
- Yes!

I think there is a cake
pan in that broom closet.

Broom closet?

Yeah, my mom's not really
into baking or brooms.

Okay, so the butter's
in the fridge,

and I will get the marshmallows
and the Rice Krispies.

Oh, my god!
Come here, you guys!

It's Rory through the ages.

Oh, I totally forgot
that was there.

How cool is this? Can you believe
you were this short in 1991?

No.

Check it out.
The next year, you shot up like a weed.

That's when I
finally quit smoking.

This is awesome. You have a record
here of you literally growing up,

and here you are when you're,
like, 7,

and then here you are when you're
ready to graduate college.

Yeah.

It's freaky.

Oh! There's the cake pan.

Let's get cookin'!

Well, well,
what do you know? Ferm?.

Listen, honey,
if they weren't open at 11:00,

I don't think they're gonna be
open at 5:00 in the morning.

Trust me.

Trust is not the point.

The point is food
and finding some,

not standing in front of
closed restaurants feel--

Monsieur Hayden...

mademoiselle Gilmore.

That's us.

Welcome to L'Arp?ge.

Please come in.

Your table is ready.

After you, mademoiselle.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks. What is this?

I'll give you a moment
to peruse the wine list.

Please let me know if
you have any question.

Thank you. We will.

Merci.

Pretty cool, huh?

How did you --

I'm thinking the '78 Latour.
Sounds like a classic car.

Honey, how did you do this?

I have my ways.

Tell me!

- You really want to know?
- Yeah!

It might take away
some of the magic.

I'll risk it.

Well, I was lying in bed,
and I was thinking about us,

and how, when we were 16,
we planned our trip to Paris,

but it kind of got derailed.

I'll say.

And then I was thinking about how
amazing it is that after everything --

the years, the distance,
the screw-ups, everything --

we finally managed to make it
here and how, in some ways,

it feels like nothing has
changed and no time has passed.

I know.

But then I started thinking about
all the things that have changed.

When did you do
all this thinking?

And I realized the one
big thing that has changed

is that now...
I'm totally loaded.

Okay.

And I guess, in some ways,
I'm not quite used to it

because I didn't
even think earlier

that I might be
able to use that.

You totally bribed
them to open.

Not bribed --
gave financial incentive.

Oh, my god!

I know.

You totally bribed
them to open!

You don't have to whisper.
Everybody here knows.

I just can't believe that
people really... do this.

Apparently.

- Cool!
- Right?

And I was prepared to do
other things to get you fed.

I mean, I had backup plans that
included theft and chicanery.

Ooh. Chicanery? For me?

Anything for you.

Anything.

So, you happy?

Really happy.

This is wonderful.

You didn't have to do it,
you know?

I wanted to.

I would've been happy
with a croissant.

Or a park bench. I know.

Why a park bench?

Remember when we were 16
and planning to go to Paris?

We always said we'd
sleep on a park bench.

Oh, yeah!

Well, because we didn't have any money,
so we couldn't afford a hotel,

we'd have to sleep
on a park bench.

I can't believe
you remember that.

I'd still sleep on a
park bench with you.

Name the bench.

Compliments of the chef...

langoustine on a bed of mush
and candied carrot cannelle.

Have you decided on the wine?

Yes. We're gonna go
with the '78 Latour.

Excellent choice, monsieur.

- I love you.
- I love you, too.

So, this fix?

Not only bigger
than a breadbox,

also a lot better.

Told you.

Hey, when we're done,

can we go back to
that beautiful bed?

You don't want to
sleep on a park bench?

Mmm... no park bench.

Thank god.

Oh yes, this is very nice.

So, mama, the reason we wanted
to talk to you is 'cause --

If you're wondering about your room,
it isn't ready yet.

We weren't wondering -- mama!

You want two separate
beds, correct?

Well, that's not
really the issue.

Better for Zach to
have his own bed.

Soon, you will be giant.
Who can sleep with that?

Mama, could you stop for a minute?
We really need to talk.

I have to unload this shipment.
I may be old, but I can multitask.

The thing is, Mrs. Kim,

when you said that we should move
in with you and I said, "cool,"

what I meant was,
"that's cool...

that you're offering to
have us move in, but...

no."

What do you mean, "no"?

We really appreciate
the offer, mama,

But Zach and I are going to be
parents soon, and we're adults...

You know, young adults.
Not like I'm gonna be smoking a pipe,

and she's gonna be all, "hey,
let's watch '60 minutes.'"

...and we're gonna be
starting our own family,

and it's important to us that
we do that in our own home.

We can do this, mama.
We're ready.

Very well.
I respect your decision.

Cool!

How much do you love this hair?

So much!

Okay, now we're gonna have
to start a girl band.

We so have to.

We'll pretend we're a
norwegian girl band,

and we can purposely
lip-synch just slightly off.

- Oh, we'll be famous!
- We'll be huge!

You can write articles about
us in the Yale Daily News.

Yeah.

You can say things like, we're the
hottest thing to come out of
Norway since...

what came out of Norway?

Well, we got the vikings,
we got Edvard Munch,

and that's all I got.

I mean, you still have an
in at the newspaper, right?

Sure she does. It's like once you're
president, you're president forever,

unless you get assassinated.

Actually, it's good Rory's
not editor anymore.

More time to be in "The
Forbidden Fjords."

Okay, yeah. Wait.

We need to discuss the name.

Rory, where are you on
"The Forbidden Fjords"?

Oh, my god.

Rory, are you okay?

- I'm fine.
- Do you hate your hair?

- 'Cause you can change it.
- So easy.

No, no, no, I love my hair.

It's -- it's nothing.
It's stupide.

- It's not nothing.
- What is it?

Everything is just... ending.

I just feel like everything
is gonna be over.

I'm done at the paper.

Soon I'm gonna be done at Yale,

and it's just like I'm
standing on this cliff,

looking out into
this huge, foggy...

Abyss?

...like, a huge, foggy abyss,

and in my whole life,
there's never been an abyss.

It's been abyssless.

I've always known exactly
what is in front of me,

and I've always known
exactly where I'm going,

and now...

I don't know what's out there.

Besides fog.

A ton of fog, and I hate not
kwowing what is out there.

I mean,
what's going to happen to my career

and my relationship with
Logan and the rest of my life?

Rory...

I'm so sorry,
I don't mean to...

drag everything down.

I so know what you're
talking about.

Totally!

- Really?
- Are you kidding?

Once I move that tassel
to the other side,

I have no idea what
the hell I'm gonna do.

I mean, besides that FBI gig.

I'm an art major --

not like that's an obvious road
sign to the rest of my life.

I can't believe you
guys worry about this.

I mean,
you're so carpe diem-ish.

How could you not be
worried about it?

Everywhere you turn on campus,
someone's talking

about their brilliant
plans for next year.

Even our friends that were
really cool on laid-back --

english majors,
philosophy majors --

they're talking about
coming investment bankers.

- When did that happen?
- Traitors.

The other day, somebody used the
phrase "negative amortization."

What the hell is that?!

I have no idea what I'm doing.

Maybe I should be
applying to grad schools.

I mean...

journalism school
or law school.

Maybe I should go
to law school.

Dude, you don't want
to go to law school.

So don't want to
go to law school.

You're amazing.

No, you are.

Don't start a fight with me.
I'm trying to say thank you.

You're welcome.

I mean, this is ridiculous.
This is incredible.

Here we are just
finishing dinner,

and the sun is coming up and
people are just going to work.

I mean,
it's just all so unreal.

I feel like any minute the
waiters could break into song.

Well, if you want...

What?

I'm just so happy.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

I don't ever want
to leave Paris.

I know.

I don't want it to be over,
I don't want it to end.

It doesn't have to end.
When we get back to Stars Hollow,

we can sleep all day and wander the
town in the middle of the night, and...

that stuff we did back
in the hotel room --

we can definitely do that
back in Stars Hollow.

Are you saying we'll
always have Paris?

I'm saying I love you, Lorelai.

I love you, too.

- And, Lor?
- What?

Remember when I told you that I
would wait till we were both 80

for you to figure out us?

U-us?

You and me?

Right.

I don't want to wait.

- Chris...
- I mean it.

But don't you think it's --
it's too soon?

No.

We've only been
dating a few months.

Try 25 years.

I know,
but you know what I mean.

So it's taken us this long to
work it out, to figure it out,

but we're here now.
We're ready.

We're finally ready. Let's do it.
Let's do it right here in Paris.

No, not here.

- Why not?
- Well, Rory...

Rory? Rory will be thrilled.

Honey, I love you,
I really do, but...

I think we should wait.

Come on, Lor.

We love each other.
We belong together.

What do you say?

Marry me.

No.

But those are cool names,
and whenever we call for "Marco,"

Polo would answer with his name,
so we'd always know where he was.

No.

We don't even know if
they're going to be boys.

- Mama!
- This place is a death trap!

- What are you doing?
- We must think like a baby.

Anything that can be grabbed
with little baby hands

must be put up high or
locked away in cupboards.

- How'd she get in?
- Who couldn't get in?

Hiding a key under the mat is like
hosting a burglars-only open house.

Mama, we're gonna
baby-proof the apartment,

but we've still
got like months.

Of course,
the drum kit has to go into storage,

and you must throw
away all of these.

My guitar picks?

To you, they are guitar picks.

To a baby, they are candy
waiting to be choked on.

That's true. One time,
I was tuning to an open "e"

and holding a pick
between my teeth,

and Brian made this really funny sound,
and I snorted a laugh,

so the pick went shooting
to the back of my throat.

Mama, did you shop for us?

Yes, and I will cook dinner as
soon as I am finished unpacking.

- Unpacking?
- My things.

You are right.
You are adults now.

You should raise your
children in your own home.

It would be wrong for
you to move in with me,

so I will move in with you.

Cool?

Mama?

Where's Brian?

Don't worry about Brian.
Brian is fine.

Um, could you please
pass the bulgogi?

- French fries.
- Yep.

Definitely french fries.

Even if I haven't even gone
within a mile of one...

Always smell like french
fries after a road trip.

Smell like, feel like, a thin layer
of vegetable grease all over me.

- Boyfriend!
- Hey!

- I think boyfriend's here.
- No way.

So once we saw the hair,
it was obvious -- girl band.

Rory has the most awesome house.
You have to meet Rory.

Rory... this is boyfriend.

- Oh! I --
- Actually, it's Marty.

Nice to meet you.

You too.

Okay... I got to show the dresses you're
talking about for our norwegian band.

So perfect. Go get yours.

You're going to be, like,
"we have to wear these dresses."

- What's going on?
- What do you mean?

Um... why did you just pretend
like you didn't know me?

I just thought it
would be weird.

Weird? That we were friends?

Why would that be weird?

Well, what's the difference?
I mean, it's not important.

But...

yeah, but we used to
hang out all the time.

Ta-da!

Give it up for The
Forbidden Fjords!

- Aren't these perfect?
- They are. They're perfect.

Two Halloweens ago,
Lucy and I went to a party

as "And Dawn,"
without Tony Orlando.

Do you like me in this dress?

Yeah. You look nice and shiny.
Goes great with your hair.

Thank you. Was I right?

Doesn't boyfriend
have unreal hair?

He does.

- So, the road trip --
- Was so far out?

The town where Rory grew up is,
like, your perfect small town.

You expect professor
Harold Hill to move there

and sucker everyone into
buying band instruments.

It's, like, ideal, but not scary,
"a serial killer lives next door" ideal.

4-h club ideal.

Bonsoir, house.

Feels good to be home, huh?

So good.

It's funny when you go away,

even on a short trip...

everything looks a little
different when you get back.

Yep.

Of course, now I'm seeing it
with a french perspective.

How's it look in french?

American and dusty.

I'm gonna go get the
rest of our stuff.

Welcome home, Mrs. Hayden.