Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 7, Episode 21 - Unto the Breach - full transcript

So, how'd you get roped into
bringing the cake to your parents' party?

I made the mistake
of telling my mother how much Rory

loves the chocolate raspberry one
from Weston's.

- It's my favorite.
- I know, me, too.

So now I'm allowed to handle the cake.

Dry cleaners. Help me remember
to pick up my dress from the dry cleaners.

Dry cleaners. Got it.

And heels. I need to find a pair of heels
that will not sink into the grass at Yale.

It's all grass at Yale,
unless it's cobblestones.

Between the grass and the cobblestones,
you can't barely walk around there.

So, in fact, don't help me remember heels,
help me remember wedges.

Dry cleaners and wedges, got it.

Thank you so much for helping me.
I just have so much on my mind,

between Rory's graduation
and Logan asking me for her hand.

Champagne and ice,
I need to bring both of those to Yale.

Dry cleaners, wedges, champagne and ice.

Although everyone knows
it's a rhetorical question.

Logan asking my permission?

Have you ever heard of anyone
who says no?

Why, did you want to say no?

No, he can ask her anything he wants.

I mean, I think she's too young
to get married, but...

Oh, plastic champagne flutes.
I can't forget those.

And I know he asked me out of respect,
but I'll tell you what's not respectful

is asking for my permission
and then making me wait.

Every time the phone rings, I think it's
gonna be her telling me that it's happened.

But it's not, it's just my mother calling
with some boring party detail,

like asking me about the ratio
of devil to egg.

Oh, that's easy. It's one part yolk
and two parts mayonnaise.

Oh, God, you don't care at all, do you?

- No.
- No.

Oh, I have to remember my beaded clutch.

- Don't let me forget my beaded clutch.
- Got it.

- Hey, Sue, here to pick up the cake.
- Oh, great, thanks.

And then, on top of everything,
there's this whole Luke thing.

Oh, thank God!
I've been waiting and waiting all morning.

I didn't think
you were gonna say anything,

and I didn't think
I should say anything, so...

So, there is a Luke thing?

I don't know, Sookie,
I can't figure out what happened.

I mean, clearly something came up
when I sang that song.

Clearly.

But I don't know
if it was a new, now feeling

or the residue of an old feeling
that came up because of the drinks

and the lyrics and the hat.

Well, it was a deadly cocktail.

So that's why I'm going to the diner today
to see how I feel sober

and without the lyrics
of I Will Always Love You

streaming in front of me.

Gotcha, but just so you know,
I think it was a new, now feeling.

I mean, the way you were singing to him...

Sookie, you weren't even there.

I know, but I had enough people
describe it to me.

Oh, no!

No, we're just all excited
about the possibility of you and Luke.

Look, I know everyone's heart
is in the right place,

- but I need to figure out what I want.
- Gotcha.

Seriously, Sookie, I need your help with
keeping all these people off my back.

Understood. But for the future,

next time you want other people to stay
out of your, you know, relationship...

Don't serenade your ex
in front of the whole town?

You knew it was a serenade.

- Sookie.
- What? Sorry.

- Here you go.
- Thanks.

All right, we can check the cake
off our list.

What else do I need to remember?

Don't worry 'cause
I prefer footballs, basically.

What?

Don't worry 'cause
I prefer footballs, basically.

It's a mnemonic device.

Dress, wedges, champagne, ice,
plastic flutes, beaded clutch.

- "Beaded clutch" is one word.
- And pantyhose.

Don't worry 'cause
I prefer footballs basically, Polly.

And tissues and my camera.

Don't worry 'cause I prefer footballs
basically, Polly, tease Chad.

Why would Polly tease Chad
about preferring footballs?

I don't know,
maybe Polly prefers soccer balls.

- That doesn't make any sense.
- Well, then stop adding stuff to the list.

- Hiya.
- Oh, it's so...

- Wow!
- It's so great to see you!

- This place looks totally different.
- I know. T.J. and I fixed it up.

You guys did a really great job.

Thanks, yeah, we worked our butts off,
but it came out really nice.

- What's gonna go here?
- Nothing. T.J. put those up.

Yeah, didn't want to tempt fate, huh?

Well, you know, he means well.
He also built this coat rack lamp.

- And it works.
- Nice.

So, what brings you here?

Well, you know, I want to get Rory
a graduation gift,

and I just thought earrings might be
the right thing, you know.

Cool, I got a whole lot of them.
Take a look around.

So, I heard about
Lorelai's karaoke serenade.

- Man, I wish I'd been there.
- It wasn't a serenade.

That's not what I heard.

I was at Weston's a couple of days ago
and half the town was talking about it.

Well, half the town should get a hobby.
What do you think about these?

Those aren't Rory's taste,
they're too trippy.

She's not trippy.

- So, what have you done?
- What do you mean, what have I done?

About the love serenade.

It wasn't a serenade,
and I haven't done anything.

I've worked real hard to try to get
that stupid song out of my head.

Aren't you gonna respond in some way?

Well, there's nothing to respond to.

I mean, she drank a truckload of tequila
and she sang a sappy song.

Oh, no, time, okay.

I Will Always Love You
is not a sappy song.

- It's classic Cyndi Lauper.
- Whitney Houston.

Doesn't matter, the point is,
she will always love you.

I heard the song.

She's waiting for you to make a move.

Look, if it had meant something,
she would've come in, you know.

What do you think of these?

- Oh, those teardrops, Rory will love those.
- Good.

Look, all I'm saying is,
from everything I've heard and know,

Lorelai would like you to respond.

I mean, crazy Carrie was there

and she said that Lorelai
definitely gave you the love look.

I wouldn't trust information coming
from a woman who wears a cardboard hat.

- You got a box for those?
- I certainly do.

- Oh, you like that, huh?
- Yeah. Well, it's nice.

It is. It would really
match Lorelai's eyes.

In fact, I was actually thinking of Lorelai
when I made that.

Well, I wasn't thinking...

It's a nice necklace, is all.

It is.

- All right. This is on me.
- Oh, what? No, no, come on!

- After everything you've done for me.
- No, I'm not gonna not pay.

After everything T.J.'s put you through?

Well, that's very nice of you.

You know what, maybe I will get
this necklace as a backup for Rory.

- Right.
- I mean, she has blue eyes, right?

Yes, she does.

Find a box for that.

Yes, we still have the kitchen table
but the chairs went about a half-hour ago.

Let me stop you right there.
If you want to haggle, go to a flea market,

because my other line is ringing.

Fine, it's yours. Be here in 20 minutes
or I'll reactivate the listing.

Sold for $15 more
than I paid two years ago.

See, the key to haggling is
you put your hands around their throat

and just keep on squeezing.

- You've got skills, baby.
- I know.

Think of how useful I'll be
when we're in India.

Oh, remind me, we have to pack Advil.

If I get a headache over there, I'm not
about to go get some Ayurvedic massage.

Sure. Just to clarify, you are gonna
tame it down a little in India, right?

I mean, we are tourists.

No way.
My philosophy is travel aggressively,

otherwise you get taken advantage of.

All these textbooks, backpacking?
I thought we agreed this is a vacation.

I'm not about to drop the ball now
that I've got into Harvard Medical School.

- This is the time to turn up the intensity.
- Paris...

It's not gonna be like this forever,
I promise,

but these next four years are critical.

I've got to do well
so I can get a great top-tier residency.

After that, I promise I'll rest.

What? Why are you smiling?

- Because I love you.
- Shut up. I love you, too.

Happy last day! Well, hello, lovebirds.

Where were you?

I went to a theater party with Lucy and
Olivia and I spent the night at their place.

- Hey, Doyle.
- Hey, Rory.

Oh, man, you guys are almost done
packing up your stuff?

- Getting there.
- Can you believe we graduate tomorrow?

I can't believe it.
I can't wrap my head around it.

Oh, God, you're not going to start
getting sentimental already, are you?

That wasn't sentimental,
that was incredulous.

I'm allowed to be incredulous.
I mean, can you believe it?

Yeah, I can, actually.

I checked out of this place
the second I got into Harvard.

God, I never get tired of saying that.

Well, I can't believe it, and I intend
to savor every moment of it.

Well, savor while you spackle.

I will take you to small claims court
if I don't get back my full deposit.

Hey, do you need any boxes?

- Someone overestimated.
- Let it go, Paris.

No, I'm good,
I'm just taking all my stuff back home

so I'm just gonna throw
it all in suitcases.

Oh, hey, know what? I should take
a picture of you packing up the apartment.

And that's not sentimental?

Oh, shush, I'm allowed a little bit
of sentimental on my last day of college.

- Now, smile.
- Are you done?

No, now I need a picture of Doyle.
He's packing up the toaster.

- Oh, no toast tomorrow. That's so sad.
- Rory.

Okay, one more of you
with that annoyed face.

Oh, that's not cute.
All right, make the annoyed face again.

Oh, you're so good. You're a natural.
Love it.

- Oh, hey!
- Hello.

He's upstairs.
I'm sure you can go right on up.

- No, that's okay, I'm just here for coffee.
- Sure, you are.

- I am.
- Honey, we were there.

- We heard the song.
- Gave me goose bumps.

The way you locked eyes with him.

All of that pent-up emotion...

No, no, it was just karaoke.

You know, I got swept up in the lyrics
and the moment, it didn't mean anything.

What can I get for you?

Hi, a coffee.

- To go, right?
- Okay.

- Is Rory all excited?
- Yeah, she is.

I can't believe she's done.

I still got all those memories of her
as a little girl running around in my head.

Me, too.

Hey, should I have a donut or a muffin?

- Whatever you want.
- How about a donut with a side of muffin.

So, what time are we supposed
to be there, anyway?

- Where?
- Yale.

Oh, yeah, hon, I need directions

'cause Morey MapQuested it
but the campus is big.

I didn't know you guys all wanted to come.

Of course we do!

We wouldn't miss
our little girl's graduation.

Oh, well, I have to call her and see,
make sure there's enough tickets.

- Thanks, doll.
- How many do you think we need?

Well, let's see.
There's Morey and me, and you.

And Lane and Zach and Mrs. Kim.

Lulu and Gypsy, plus one, she said.

- That's a lot of people.
- Yeah, maybe we should charter a van.

Speaking of the graduate...

- Say hello to her from us.
- I will.

And ask how long that ceremony is,
'cause I gotta plan my snacks.

- Hey.
- Hey, you are not gonna believe it.

Okay, hold on.

Believe what?

Milan Kundera is speaking
at our graduation.

- Oh.
- What, you're not a big Kundera fan?

- No, I'm unbearably light on him.
- I see.

Speaking of which, do you think you can
get some more graduation tickets?

Seems like the whole of Stars Hollow
wants to come.

Oh, that's sweet, but we only get four,

and people have been trying
to get extra ones since September.

Oh, anything on the black market?

No, I think we're probably
priced out of that.

All right, well, you do know
the house is gonna get egged.

Well, I'm sorry, there's nothing I can do.

I'll help you scrub it when I get home.

Wait a minute. Four? There's me,
your dad, grandparents, Logan.

Oh, Logan's sitting with his friends.

There are, like, 20 guys
he hasn't seen since last spring.

- Gotcha.
- So, are you nervous?

About Logan seeing his friends? Not really.

No, about seeing Dad.

Oh, that.

No, we talked last night,
mostly about our beautiful daughter.

We're both just so proud of you.

- I think we're gonna be fine.
- Good.

What about Luke?

Well, I was just in there, you know,
trying to figure out how I feel.

- And?
- And the point is totally moot,

- because he barely even looked at me.
- What?

Yeah, I must've
completely embarrassed him,

in addition to completely
embarrassing myself.

I've given you
the don't-drink-to-excess speech, right?

Well, if you haven't,
you've certainly taught me by example.

So, anyway, that's that.

- Are you okay?
- No.

Yeah, I mean, you know,
I didn't know what I wanted anyway, so...

- Okay, well, if you need anything...
- Yeah, thanks, hon.

All right, listen, I'm gonna go.

Logan and I have
this romantic afternoon planned.

Oh, really?

We're spackling.

Oh, well, spackle well,

or whatever one says
to encourage a successful spackle.

- Have a good spackle?
- Spackle on.

- Break a spackle?
- Knock on spackle, things work out.

- Okay, I'll talk to you later.
- Tell him I said hi.

- Bye, Mom.
- Bye.

All right, everybody, that's enough,
the meeting has come to order.

Now, before we get down
to official business,

I would like to unofficially thank all
of you for your concerns over my health.

I'm doing much better, thank you.

We never heard. What'd you do?

- Yeah, what happened?
- I heard you slipped in the tub.

That's right, I did.
Let that be a lesson to all of you.

Bathroom safety is a serious business.
One can never be too careful.

Now, on to...

I thought the paramedics found you
in your living room.

Well, yes, the tub was,
in fact, a pedi-spa.

I have bunions and I was soaking,
but it still was exceedingly slippery.

On to the next order of business.

Our esteemed friend and neighbor, Kirk,
would like a permit

to do his performance art piece
called "Kirk in a Box" in the town square.

It isn't a performance art piece,
it is a feat of endurance,

an attempt to stretch
the bounds of human possibility.

And what exactly is "Kirk in a Box"?

I will be suspended
20 feet above the street

in a clear Lucite box
with no food or water.

- Oh, like David Blaine.
- Not at all, my box is smaller.

- Why?
- Because Lucite is very costly.

- No, why are you doing it?
- To see if I can.

Let me point out that something
like this could draw a crowd.

Hey, if Kirk wants to sit in a box,
let him sit in a box.

Yeah, what do we care?

Yeah, you don't have to look
if you don't want to.

It's a good idea. Let's vote.

Very well. All those in favor?

- Aye!
- Aye!

All right, all right,
but don't complain to me

when and if we run into
a parking situation.

Is there special parking at Yale?

Oh, I meant to tell you,
I couldn't get any extra tickets.

- What?
- We don't get to go to Rory's graduation?

- I tried.
- Isn't there anything you can do?

I asked.

Excuse me, ladies.
What is going on over there?

None of us gets to go
to Rory's graduation.

I'm sorry, I tried.

Order, order, everyone quiet down!

Clearly, this is an issue of importance
to some of you,

so let's just add it to tonight's agenda.

No, no, no, no!
Taylor, we don't have to do that.

Too late, it's already been added.
Lorelai, state your case.

I don't have a case.

Fine, then just explain
how this mishap occurred.

What mishap?

Clearly, you dropped the ball.

I didn't. They get four per kid,
that's how it works.

What could I do? I tried.

Were there no orphans,
no children of divorce?

Are you telling me
that every single student at Yale

has at least four people coming
to see him or her graduate?

Look, I'm sorry, okay, but you'll all get
a chance to congratulate her

at the graduation party
I'm having at my house in a week.

But it's not the same thing.

We've all known the kid
since she was that high.

We wanna see that special moment
when she gets handed her diploma.

I'm really sorry, guys. I mean,

maybe I could hand her the diploma again,
you know, at the party at my house.

- You would do that?
- Of course.

Well, what about the music? You can't
have the pomp without the circumstance.

Well, that's an easy one to solve.

The Stars Hollow High School band
will play.

It will be a wonderful dress rehearsal
for their own ceremony in two weeks.

Taylor, I don't know if I can fit
the whole band inside the house.

Absolutely not. Your house is not zoned
for any gatherings larger than 15 people.

We'll do it in the town square.

Oh, that sounds...

Lulu can play Rory. She's
a terrific actress.

What, are you nuts?
No way, Rory's gonna play Rory!

Oh, and at the ceremony at Yale,
don't forget to take a lot of pictures,

'cause then we can blow them up
for the re-enactment.

Okay.

I would suggest taking a notebook along.

Attention to detail is very important
in re-enactments.

- We'd love to have you back at the DAR.
- So much.

You were a breath of fresh air.

We wanna start a little outreach program.

You wouldn't believe
your generation's apathy

when it comes to such things as
the preservation of this nation's history.

Oh, really? Yeah, that's a shame.

We were thinking of renting out
a roller rink and...

I'm sorry, ladies. Mind if I steal
my girlfriend away for a minute?

- Some rather urgent business.
- Of course not.

- We'll talk later.
- Excuse me.

Oh, you really are
my shiny-armored knight, you know that?

I saw you dying,

and I did want to tell you
something rather urgent.

- Oh, what's up?
- You look beautiful.

I just can't believe you're old enough
to have a daughter in college.

- Yeah.
- Neither can I.

What is your skin-care ritual?

- Oh, just soap, you know.
- What kind?

I just get it at the drugstore.
Will you excuse me?

Chris, hi!

- Where are you going?
- I'll be right back.

That wasn't the question.

Where are you? Oh, there you are.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Sorry, I just didn't wanna do this
in front of everyone.

No, no. I... I think that's a good thing.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- You look good.
- You look good.

So, how is she?

Oh, she's excited. She's good.
She's excited.

- Yeah, and you?
- I'm excited. Sad

and nostalgic, terrified.

Logan asked my permission
to ask her to marry him.

- What?
- Yeah, I know.

I mean, he hasn't done it yet, you know,

so maybe he'll back out,
but he definitely asked.

- Wow.
- Yeah.

- She's so young.
- I know.

So what did you say?

I told him he could ask her.

- Right, yeah.
- What do you think?

I'm just letting it sink in. It's...

You know, you hear
about people asking the father.

Not that you don't deserve
to be asked, you do,

it's just more stuff I've missed.

We're gonna figure out this whole
divorced-parenting thing, eventually.

She might be 60.

Well, 60-year-olds are notoriously needy.
At least we'll be in sync by then.

- Do you wanna come and see her?
- Let's do it.

- Hey, kiddo.
- Hi, Dad!

Hi.

- Hey, it's good to see you.
- Good to see you, too, sir.

- So, are you getting excited?
- Yeah, I can't believe it's tomorrow.

Ladies and gentlemen.
Ladies and gentlemen.

First, let me thank you
for coming to celebrate

my granddaughter's graduation.

I do beg your pardon.

Celebrating
our granddaughter's graduation.

I can't let him take all the credit.
Have you seen her? Can you blame me?

So, when my wife and I sat down
to write our toast,

we ran into something of a problem.

All of our words sounded too mundane,
too insignificant,

to mark such an auspicious occasion
as Rory's graduation from Yale.

So, instead... Maestro?

Please excuse us, we're not singers.

Never let them see you sweat, dear.

You're the top

You have graduated

You're the top

Your grandparents are elated

Newspaper editor, Phi Beta Kappa
Wow!

You're a revelation
A huge sensation

You should take a bow

You are done

No more school for you

There is nothing
now that you can't do

You make us proud
We'll sing it loud

It's true

'Cause now, Rory
you're a bulldog through and through

Yeah!

Thank you, thank you.

Wow, thank you for that.

We meant every word of that song.

We certainly did,
even the ones we sang off-key.

We are so proud of you.

Oh, thank you so much.

You know that none of this would be
possible without your help, so...

You should all know

that there is no way I could be a bulldog
through and through

if it weren't for these two,

so thank you so much,
Grandma and Grandpa.

Congratulations, Rory. To you.

- Cheers.
- Cheers!

It's the babysitter checking to see
if G.G. can watch an hour of television.

I don't think she's ready for
The Pussycat Dolls. I'll be right back.

- Actually, would you mind waiting?
- Sure.

Trust me,
you'll want to stick around for this.

Okay. Is he gonna...

Not here. Not now.

If I could, I'd also like to say a few words
about my girlfriend of the past 3 years.

You amaze me, Rory Gilmore, every day,

everything that you do,
everything that you are.

This past year, I realized that I don't
know a lot more than I thought I knew,

if that makes sense.

I'm sorry, I'm a little bit nervous.
I didn't think I would be.

What I'm trying to say is that

I don't know a lot.

But I know that I love you.

And I want to be with you. Forever.

Rory Gilmore,

will you marry me?

Wow!

Wow, I...

Wow.

Is there a "yes" in between those "wows"?

I'm just... I'm so surprised. I just...

Will you come talk to me outside?

- Sure.
- Yeah. Okay.

Play something, now!

Sorry, I just didn't want to talk
in front of everybody.

No, I completely understand.

- What, is that...
- For us? Yeah.

I'm sorry. I know you said
you were over big gestures,

but that's what wedding proposals are.

And tonight with your parents here,
and your grandparents, I just thought...

No, it's not the size of the gesture,
it's the gesture itself.

Rory, I got the job out in Silicon Valley.

What, you did? When?

Well, they offered me the position
about 45 minutes after the meeting,

but I just... I wanted to save the news
until after I proposed.

Wow, you've been thinking about this
for a while.

Yeah. Back when everything
was up in the air business-wise,

I realized as long as I
had you, I'd be okay.

You would love Palo Alto, Rory.

We could go hiking in the Dish
on weekends,

biking at the Baylands.

Wow, California me sounds really athletic.

Or coffee drinking on University Avenue.

That's much easier to imagine.

I went exploring a little,
and there's this house that we could rent.

- It has a backyard with an avocado tree.
- I do like guacamole.

And it's only 35 miles south
of San Francisco.

Just a straight shot up the 101.

Wow, you've done a lot of research.

Yeah, you could work at the Chronicle
or the San Francisco Bay Guardian.

Wow.

Oh, it sounds amazing.

Logan, it sounds wonderful. I just...
I don't know.

I mean, you've had time to think
about this and research newspapers

and it's so sweet and wonderful, I just...
I'm hearing about it for the first time.

So, you're saying in the past three years
you've never thought about marrying me?

- No, of course I have.
- And?

And it's always a really wonderful thought,
but it was always hypothetical and...

I know, for me, too, but then it hit me.
Why wait?

Remember when we were
in the Life and Death Brigade,

and we stood on top of that tower
and we held hands and we jumped?

Let's do that again, Rory. Let's jump.

Well, I don't know what to do.

Should I continue
to stagger the hors d'oeuvres

or just tell the kitchen
to send everything out?

- I don't know.
- Why didn't she just say yes?

I think she's not sure
she wants to marry him, Mom.

That's ridiculous, he's a Huntzberger.

An offer like this doesn't come around
every day.

It's a marriage proposal,
not a sale on linens.

Clearly, Rory was caught off guard.
All of us were.

I'm sure she just needed a moment
to get her bearings.

- Hi, hon.
- Is that Rory? Did she say yes?

Yeah. Hey, it's Rory, do you wanna come...

- No, you go.
- Okay.

Hi.

I just couldn't answer him, you know.

I just kept saying, "I don't know,
I'll have to think about it,"

and it was awful.

And he was obviously disappointed
and upset, you know.

He'd made all these plans
about the house we would live in

and the avocado tree in our backyard.

Well, you do like guacamole.

I just had to explain to him
how out of the blue this is.

I mean, this is seriously out of the blue.
Out of the deepest, darkest, navyest blue.

- And why are you so calm, by the way?
- Oh. Well...

He asked my permission
a couple of days ago.

- What, you knew?
- Yeah, I was dying to tell you.

Man, you're a good secret-keeper.

Not really, I told Sookie, I told your dad.
Paul Anka and I discussed it at length.

- So what do you think I should do?
- Oh, honey, I think it's your decision.

I know, but tell me
what you think I should do.

Well, I think you should take a few days,
you know, let the shock wear off.

You're really not going to give me
your opinion?

Only you know what you want.

Yeah. I love him. I do.

I mean, things have been
really amazing lately.

But on the other hand, we are so young.
I'm only 22.

On the other hand, what does age matter
when you're in love?

On the other hand, what is the rush?

Well, you're like a circus freak
with all the hands.

Won't you just tell me what to do?

Oh, honey, I'm sorry.

Okay, you don't have to say anything.

Just blink one eye
if you think I should do it.

No.

- 'Cause you don't?
- 'Cause I won't.

This is like the bird versus turtle
Halloween costume all over again.

Well, I didn't crack then
and I'm not gonna crack now.

I just think you need to figure it out.
And remember,

that flying turtle-bird was the most
original costume in the third grade.

Yeah.

But this time I'm gonna have to choose,
turtle or bird.

- Well, you're not in third grade anymore.
- Yeah, I guess not.

Hey, how many hours
do we have the carriage for?

A couple more, I'm guessing.

Wanna drive through the center of town
and do the queen wave?

Yes.

- How's it going?
- Hey.

What are you doing out here so late?

I just needed to take a walk
to clear my head,

and I wanted to see
if Kirk was still in the box.

Yeah, apparently he is, you know.

I wouldn't know,
I've decided to ignore him.

Gawking only encourages
his asinine behavior.

What about you?
You're usually long gone by now.

Softball team celebrating their first win.

I couldn't get them out the door.
Clearing your head about what?

Logan proposed to Rory.

No way. Wow.

Wow, I guess you would
need a walk for that.

What did she say?

Well, she said she needed time
to mull it over.

- Good answer.
- I thought so.

- Yeah. So, she asked for your advice?
- She did, yeah.

- And?
- I told her it was her decision.

My mother is picking out china patterns.

Oh, I bet she's all over that.
So you're leaning toward "no"?

No. I'm not really leaning,
I'm kind of upright.

Oh, okay. Well, I just, you know,

I could understand
if you were leaning away from yes.

- Why?
- Well, I mean, she's really young.

It is the most important decision
of your life.

Yeah, you know, her life.

Well, they love each other.
He's been great.

Maybe they got it together young.
Some people do.

- Right, and others need time.
- Sure, or they're never ready.

Well, I wouldn't say "never." Just...

They wanna be a little more careful,
they're a little slower.

You know, just to make sure it's right.

Well, you can't always be
100% sure it's right.

Sometimes you just have to take
a leap of faith.

You gotta know what you're leaping into.

After all this time,
how could you not know?

How could who not know?

- Rory.
- Right.

- Right.
- Rory.

Well, that was my walk,
and I'm gonna head home.

Good enough.
Oh, I almost forgot something. Hang on.

Are you allowed to talk in there?

Rules are a little gray on that.

- I got this for Rory.
- Oh.

Yeah, I just thought it'd be better if she
got it on the day of her actual graduation.

- Oh, that's nice.
- Yeah, so...

Thoughtful.

- So, good night.
- Night.

- Night, Kirk.
- Night.

I'm just saying, he's a superb writer.

And I'm just saying that a superb writer
does not a superb speaker make.

I could barely stay awake.

Well, I told you to start with coffee,
it's a two-ceremony day.

Maybe it's just a cultural thing.

Maybe Milan Kundera is like
the Robin Williams of the Czech Republic.

With that voice?

So soporific it was as if he were trying
to perform a mass hypnosis.

Well, we should hurry up if we want to get
good seats to watch Rory get her diploma.

My point is, with all the potential speakers
out there, why choose someone so dull?

You know, for a while, Rory said
they were considering Henry Winkler.

- That would've been neat.
- Who?

- Do you mean Henry Kissinger?
- Not unless he played the Fonz.

I'm assuming that Logan will join us
for the actual commencement at Branford.

- Nope.
- No?

No, he's sitting with his friends.

Plus, I think it would be awkward,
you know.

I don't know. No one knows. Only Rory.

Well, Mom.

Well, I just can't believe
you don't have more information.

She said she's thinking about it,
so she's thinking.

- What is she thinking?
- I don't know.

- Why not?
- Actually, Kissinger would be duller

than Kundera with that foghorn voice
and that accent.

Of the two, I'd vote for the Fonz.

Do you even know who the Fonz is?

- Oh, wait, wait. Oh, shoot!
- What's wrong?

I promised Patty and Babette

that I would get lots of extra programs
for the re-enactment.

Well, here, you can have mine.

What? It was hot. I needed a fan.

Sweetheart, I'm sure I can use
some of my many contacts

to procure as many programs as you need.

Really, could you? That'd be great.

Can I have my program back, then?

As my friend Sylvia Rosenblatt is saying,
"I'm schivitzing."

Schvitzing, Mom. Schvitzing.

Never mind.

So, seriously,
90% of the class was at this party.

And everyone's watching and cheering,
and that's when he starts to,

swear to God, do the robot.

- Professor Whatley?
- Uh-huh.

Wait, isn't he, like, 150?

I know, right? At first we thought
he was having a seizure,

which, you know,
would've been easier to take.

Oh, it was so funny.
And awesome party, by the way.

I thought you were going to come after
your grandparents' little cocktail bash.

Yeah, Gilmore,
you're so lame for blowing it off.

Yeah, at least I had an excuse.

My boyfriend and I went
to Star of Bombay

as a little warm-up for our trip to India.

Turns out Doyle's stomach and vindaloo
are not bunk buddies.

It's gonna be a long trip.

Well, I would've gotten to that party
if somebody hadn't insisted

that I finish spackling all the holes
in our apartment upon pain of death.

Hey, each unspackled hole
is deposit money

that our hygienically-challenged
sleazebag of a landlord

will use to supply his freaking porn habit.

College has mellowed Paris.

How was your grandparents'
cocktail party?

- Were there great huzzahs in your honor?
- Oh, it was fine.

People walked around,
had grownup drinks

and my grandparents sang me a song.
I turned a deep shade of red. It was fine.

Looks like you guys are lining up.

We better get over to Saybrook.

- To our future!
- Huzzah!

I wonder if I'll actually get my diploma
in my envelope.

Why, do you have some
overdue library books?

And she has no idea where they are.

Please forward my mail to Argentina.

I'll be hiding out there
till the heat blows over.

- Love you guys!
- Bye.

- Bye.
- Bye.

- Well, did she at least try on the ring?
- I have no idea.

I can't believe you have no idea
what she's going to do.

I mean, aren't you two bosom buddies?

Isn't sharing of intimate information
your thing?

Mom, our thing right now
is letting Rory make her own decisions.

What did you tell her to do?

Mom, I'm telling you,
I didn't tell her to do anything.

I'm letting her make her own decision.

But you must've at least...

Emily, Emily,
can we focus on the ceremony?

So, are these seats okay,
can you both see the stage?

Perfectly.

Well, I'm sure someone will take a photo
of Rory receiving her diploma close up.

Mom, if you don't like these seats
we can go look for others.

No, then we'll lose these.

Well, we can have Dad wait here
while I try to find better seats.

Lorelai, these seats are fine.

- Hey!
- Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.

You're not late.
The ceremony is starting late.

Of course, after Lorelai drove
us like cattle to get here.

You be the deciding voter.

These seats okay, or do you think
we should look for better ones?

These seem great.

Really, 'cause that lady has long hair,
and if a breeze blows up it might...

- Lorelai, Lorelai, these seats are perfect.
- All righty.

- Any answer from Rory?
- Not yet.

Apparently, Lorelai has decided to invoke
the don't-ask-don't-tell rule.

Oh, Mom.

Bill Clinton, that's a speaker
I would have enjoyed.

Can't stand his politics,

but he has a commanding presence
and a nice voice.

I wonder if he records books on tape.

So, have you thought
about what you're going to say?

- What?
- When he hands you the diploma.

I can't decide between "thank you,"
and "thank you so much."

It's a significant moment
and I wanna do it right.

If I say just plain "thank you,"
it sounds kind of casual,

like he's handing me a slice of pizza.

But "thank you so much" sounds weird,

like I'm acknowledging applause
after singing a love ballad.

I think I'm just gonna do a polite smile
and a "thank you."

Okay, this is it.

Yeah, we've been drafting off
each other since high school,

and now it's each woman for herself.

Who knows when
we'll see each other again, right?

Paris, I haven't been able
to shake you off all these years.

I'm sure we're gonna be friends
for a very long time.

You're gonna do such great things
with your life, Rory.

Wow, okay.

Okay, G's, you're on the move!

- Unto the breach.
- Okay.

Phoebe Elizabeth Gabner.

You ready to be parents
of a Yale graduate?

I already got
the bumper sticker picked out.

Just so you know,
I read in the New York Times.

People are getting married
younger and younger these days.

Well, the good news is,
if it was in the New York Times,

Rory saw it and filed it away.
What's wrong?

This chair is faulty.

Every time I lean from one side
to the other, I almost slide off.

Well, do you wanna switch seats?

No, Lorelai, you don't need to switch.
Emily, your chair is fine.

- Just don't lean.
- I have to lean.

This woman keeps rocking back and forth.
It's like sitting behind Ray Charles.

Paris Eustace Geller.

Paris!

I'm just saying, you have pull. Use it.
That's what parenting is.

I don't know if her family's here.
I'm gonna take a picture for Rory.

She looks up to you,
and when a child looks up to you

and has a difficult decision to make,
you tell her what to do.

That's not how I do it.

- So you're just content to let her...
- Emily, please. Rory's next.

- Roberta Gelser.
- Honey, tell me what time it is.

I told everyone I'd notice the exact time
so that when we do the re-enactment...

Lorelai, I will note the time.
I will take the photo.

You just sit there and enjoy
your daughter's graduation from Yale.

This is as much your moment as Rory's.
Enjoy it.

Lorelai Leigh Gilmore.

Yeah, Rory!

All right, everyone, say "fromage."

- Dad!
- Must you always do that?

Did you entertain them with that
in the Great War?

Got it! Excellent.

All right, what other combinations
haven't we done?

Duh, me, Mom and Dad.

- "Duh"? That's our Yale graduate?
- She meant "doy."

All right, everybody. Everybody say...

- Don't!
- Don't!

Whatever you like.

- Got it.
- Good.

Make sure you save it.
You erased the last one.

Well, I just don't trust these things.

I'll be right back.

Oh, Richard, Emily,
can I get one with you guys?

Thank you. Good to see you.

Hey, congratulations.

- Thanks.
- Yeah, you did great.

No tripping, no dropping the diploma.

No, nothing like that.

Yeah, I remember when I graduated,
I was a little tipsy.

That's a big surprise, huh? And I did trip.

And I reached out and grabbed
the robe of Marcia Hadley,

- who was so not the person to grab.
- Logan.

I'm sorry.

I can't.

I love you, you know how much I love you.

I love the idea of being married to you.

But there are just a lot of things right
now in my life that are undecided,

and that used to scare me,
but now I kind of like the idea

that it's just all kind of wide open,

and if I married you, it just wouldn't be.

So, what? I go to San Francisco,
you stay in the East,

and we see each other occasionally?

Well, we can try long-distance.
We've done it before.

Do you really think that's gonna work?

I think it would be hard, but...

I don't want to do that, Rory.
I don't wanna go backwards.

If we can't take the next step...

- What?
- I mean...

Does it have to be all or nothing?

Yeah, it does.

But we could at least try.

What's the point?

So...

So?

Goodbye, Rory.

Okay, just one more trip.

No, I can't.

This is why we don't exercise.
It's too exhausting.

Well, it wouldn't be so exhausting
if we exercised.

Oh, darn your college-graduate logic.

- How're you doing, honey?
- Okay.

Yeah?

Well, I'm not okay. I feel awful.
I feel sick.

- I miss him already.
- I know.

And it just sucks, you know,
because I graduated today.

This was supposed to be a happy day
in my life and now when I look back on it,

I'm just gonna think
about this horrible thing that happened.

I'm sorry.

I think you made the right decision.

- You do?
- I do.

Someday you'll meet someone
and you'll just know it's right.

You won't wanna hesitate,
you'll just know.

I hope so.

I really do believe it.

- So I guess no avocado trees.
- Well, no avocado tree.

You know,
I think I'll get my own avocado tree.

See? You could get your own cherry tree,

get your own peanut tree,
just have peanut butter all day long.

Peanuts don't grow on trees,
they grow under the ground.

Whatever. My point is,
you can have anything you want.

Oh, yes, it's wide open.

What do you mean,
peanuts don't grow on trees?

Mom, trust me. I'm a college graduate.