Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 6, Episode 15 - A Vineyard Valentine - full transcript

Morning, everyone.

What's wrong?

Uh-oh, food funk?

Major.

Are we talking the "Swiss chard a la
polonaise" level funk from last may,

the panna cotta experiment of '05?

2001 pigeons a la nicoise.

Pigeons a la nicoise? Oh, boy.

Sookie?

You mean "sucky"?

What's up?

I'll tel you what's up.
You know what this is?

An oyster?

An oyster- fresh, huh?

Looks fresh to me.

I mean, the idea- nice and fresh.

- Sure.
- It isn't.

- What isn't?
- Fresh.

- The oyster?
- You're not listening.

I am, too.

- What am I saying?
- No idea.

How long have we been married?

Nine years?

I'm experimenting for the prefix menu
for Valentine's day next week,

trying to come up with something new,
but there's nothing new under the sun.

I mean, who else would think to serve
oysters on Valentine's day?

I don't know, maybe 12,000 other
establishments within spitting distance!

Well, lovers love oysters.

I don't. I love burritos.

But people don't want burritos
on Valentine's day.

How do we know unless we give
them the option, huh?

That's it! I'll serve burritos!

Sookie, no.

No one else will have burritos.

Sookie, you can't serve Valentine's day
burritos. That's flirting with disaster.

We could be talking the octopus-ice-cream
disaster of '98.

God, you're right. I'll figure it out.

I'm just hitting an oyster wall here.

Okay, take a break, guys.
We'll resume in a bit.

So what are you and Jackson doing for
Valentine's day, huh? Any plans?

Well, after I finish up here, I'll go home,
and Jackson, wonderful man that he is,

will have made a lovely meal and opened
up a bottle of syrah and lit a candle.

Then he and the kids and I will have a nice,
romantic meal together.

Very nice.

What about you?

Oh, I'll be here.

What? No, you'll be with Luke.

Yeah, but we'll probably just hang out.

We don't have a reservation
anyplace for dinner.

I'm sure everything's booked.

Uh, hello. I'm a chef. I know other chefs.

I can get you into places.

Maybe- also Luke says Valentine's day is
just another one of those fake things,

like mother's day, created by
greeting-card companies, and it is.

Actually, it's not.

Really?

I'm printing a history of Valentine's
day to go on the tables.

It goes back like 2,000 years.

Oh, well, then, it must have been a
greeting-card company in roman times-

you know,
the one that came up with gladiator's day.

Anyway, no plans yet.

Lorelai, excuse me,
there's a zydeco band here to see you.

A what?

A zydeco band?

Did I mishear him twice?

Then I did, too.

Come on.

Hi, I'm Lorelai Gilmore.
How can I help you guys?

I'm Buzu.

Buzu- that's your name? Buzu?

- Buzu Barnes-
- Buzu Barnes.

And the Cajun Stompers!

Sorry, I'm like a thousand miles behind here.

We set this up a while ago, the audition.
Buzu.

Buzu! You're that Buzu.

You know more than one Buzu?

I set this up myself. It was for the wedding.

- The audition.
- The audition!

- Oh, the wedding.
- What you want to hear?

Well, it's like this, Buzu.
I don't need to hear you play because-

Oh, miss Gilmore, no, it's like this.

When a zydeco band is at the instrument,
they must play.

- But-
- "Zydeco Boogaloo," boys.

1, 2, 3, 4.

And they're off.

Since when are you into zydeco?

I just thought it might be festive and funny.

I was going to audition them and a
dixieland combo and Led Zepagain.

Who?

A Led Zeppelin cover band.

Oh. That's clever.

It just slipped my mind.

June 3rd's coming up pretty quick, too, hon.

I know, it is superquick.

You don't like the song?

No, Buzu, I love the song.

Lips say yes, face say no.

"Early in the morning," boys.

1, 2, 3, 4.

Smile, or Buzu may never go away.

I'm smiling.

Yeah.

- Hey.
- Hi.

Why are you up?

It's 11:04. The whole world is up.

Keith Richard isn't up.
Pete Doherty isn't up.

Rory Gilmore is up.

She shouldn't be. You're making me dizzy.

I forgot my thucydides.

Don't see how you can function
without your thucydides.

Hey, I'm trying to squoosh
four semesters into three.

If I slow down, I'll get whoomped.

How long you been up?

Five hours, four cups of coffee, two bagels.

No partridge, no pear tree?

Okay, thucydides did not just
grow legs and walk away.

- Come back to bed!
- I can't.

We see each other less since
we've been living together.

I know it seems that way.

- It is that way.
- We'll have time.

Not unless we make time.
Let's go away this weekend.

This weekend's bad.

Every weekend's bad.

This one is particularly bad.

They're all bad. Come on.
It's Valentine's day.

That's not till next week.

This weekend's Valentine's weekend. Come on,
let's go somewhere.

- I can't-
- Rory.

Even if I did get time away, I promised
my mom I'd try to hang out with her,

even if it was just for dinner.
I haven't seen her in ages.

But she doesn't kiss as good as I do.

- You don't know that.
- True.

She's been down lately.
I want to cheer her up.

Well, then invite her along.
We can have a kissing contest.

Bring my mother?

Yeah. And tell her to bring that guy
she's with. What's his name? Luke?

Really? You'd be up for that?

Absolutely.

Well, I'd have to drop a lot of things.

That's what things are for- to be dropped.

I'll think about it.

Promise?

Yes. Now you have to let me go.

That's the worst offer I've gotten all day.

Your thucydides is on the pool table.

Thank you!

I need every proof sheet on my desk
by 5:00 and not a second later.

Make that very clear to them, okay?

Okay.

I know the boys in the lab can be jerks
to women, but don't let that stop you.

Girlpower, baby. Betty Friedan's dead,
and we've all got to fill the vacuum.

You got it.

Sorry, Bill.

No problem. Got all the time in the world.

Let's see.
How about "amphetamine use on campus"?

Maybe-

it would be ironic if my supply dried
up based on an exposé I approved.

Are you serious?

You leave your sense of humor at home, Bill?

There's another protest over the
Yale basic-cable-package fee.

They're expecting 80 or so to gather.

Doesn't worth a story. Get a photo and tell
them all to go home and read a book.

And professor Wallace wants a correction
to the interview we printed with him.

He wants to clarify that he, in fact,
referred to his department's problems

with the advisory board as
an "us-and-them thing".

What did we print?

"S-and-M thing. "

That's kind of funny.

Now, the profile on Yale students
from New Orleans,

how things are back home for them-

it'll be done this weekend.

I could get a copy to you Sunday morning.

Great.

Uh, I mean, no. Wait till Monday.

- You sure?
- Yeah.

It's Valentine's day weekend.

We should all... take it easy,
be with loved ones.

You can make plans with that
girlfriend of yours.

She just dumped me.

Linda dumped you?

For another guy.

It destroyed me.

Absolutely destroyed me.

That's why I've lost my sense of humor.

Nothing's funny anymore.

I had forgotten Valentine's
day was coming up. Wow.

Oh, god, I hate my life.

Right.

See? This is why I hesitate to ask
people about their social lives.

I never do.

Good man.

I'll get on that New Orleans thing.

Dragonfly Inn.

Hi, it's me.

I'm sorry?

It's me!

Oh, hi, hon!

What's with the flaming accordion
in the background there?

Oh, it's my new friend, Buzu,
which is cajun for "won't leave. "

Explain.

It's a zydeco band I'd arranged
to audition for the wedding,

and once they're holding their instruments,
they can't not play-

and, apparently, they can't stop.

- Oh, they stopped.
- Good.

I mean,
they haven't had food or water in two hours.

It makes sense that they'd have to-

torture me.

Maybe you can get zydeco cops
to come and stop them.

So I guess this is the last nail
in the coffin of June 3rd.

The cut-off day to get the deposit
back on the hall just passed, too.

Might be time to face the music, so to speak.

You know anyone in the market for a wedding?
It's all planned and paid for.

You'll have your wedding, eventually.

I guess.

Mom, you'll have your wedding.

I don't know anymore.

Luke's been so busy with April lately.

I mean, it's good and all.
It's the right thing to do.

She's his daughter. But I just...

I'm bummed, kid.

I know.

Well, hey, what have you got planned
for Valentine's day weekend?

Uh, this weekend?

Nothing- surprise, surprise.

Luke isn't really a Valentine's
day kind of guy.

Well, how would you like an all-expense-paid
trip to Martha's vineyard?

Martha's vineyard? Really?

You know, Logan's family has
a place up there. It's awesome.

And I just cleared my schedule
here at the paper,

told them, "mama needs some time off. "

Good for mama.

Go with us, you and Luke.

Really? You've run this past Logan?

It was his idea.

I don't know if Luke would be up for it.

We'll make him be up for it. I think
he'd like it. It's beach, it's nature.

I mean, it'll be cold, but we can
still walk outside. It's beautiful.

I've always wanted to see the vineyard.

Then force him to come, and if he's a sourpuss
while he's there, you'll still have me.

Okay, I'll talk to him.

I'll e-mail you directions.
Come anytime Friday.

You've got room and all?
Me and Luke plus five?

Plus five?

Well, I'm not coming without
Buzu and the boys.

The more the merrier.

Cool! Bye, hon.

Bye.

Buzu, I'm going to need my dining room back.

Buzu!

Well, there is all manner of outdoor
activities to do at Martha's vineyard-

canoeing, snorkeling, sailing-

That's mostly summer stuff.
It's the dead of winter.

Hiking and walking- that's doable.

Yeah, I guess.
Is this all just for this weekend?

Plus these.

Isn't that way too much stuff?

It is the dead of winter. The question is,
do you have enough?

Yeah, I brought enough.

Burglar lamp.

Ooh, and here, of course, is the big-time
Martha's vineyard thing- whaling.

They have whaling?

Not anymore. It's just a fun fact.

Martha's vineyard was one of the
world's largest whaling ports.

Says here people used every part
of the whale back then,

the most important being spermaceti,
used in candle production.

Couldn't think up a less gross
substance to use for candles?

You know,
it's a good thing I don't drive a compact.

Herman Melville once shipped
out of Martha's vineyard.

Here's a quote from "Moby Dick. "

"Oars, oars, grip your oars,

and clutch your souls now.
My god, pull, men!"

Wait a second. That isn't the pulling they
had to do to get the spermaceti, is it?

I don't think so. Let's go.
We're already late.

Coming.

Now, what else, what else, what else.

"The first people on the island
of Martha's vineyard

were Indians of the Wampanoag tribe.

This tribe still makes up a large part of
the town originally called Gay Head. "

Hmm, figures- the Indians
survive poverty, disease,

then get stuck living in a
place called "Gay Head. "

I guess.

You think there's any connection
between Gay Head and spermaceti?

I have no idea.

- Wait, it's an island?
- Yeah, apparently.

That means there's a ferry.

Oh, there is a ferry to Gay Head?
That is just too easy.

Let's see what else is interesting
about the island

we now know as Martha's vineyard.

You don't have to do this.

Do what?

I'm fine with the weekend.
You don't have to keep talking the place up.

I just want you to have fun. You know,
I want you to relax.

I'll try, okay? I just have my concerns.

What concerns?

What concerns?
Lorelai, where do we even stand with this guy?

What guy?

Logan. Their relationship changes daily.

One day we like him, next day we hate him,
next day we like him.

Well, we have a sort of truce.

A truce? What does that mean, a truce?

It's a truce. Everything's okay.

None of us should invade each other or fire
guns across our borders or anything.

We're in a truce.

What if they break up while we're there?

They're not going to break up.

Our bedroom isn't sharing a wall with theirs,
is it?

I have no idea.

You don't know the layout of the house?

I thought spermaceti was a pasta
until three minutes ago.

It's weird staying at people's houses,
tiptoeing around,

using their sheets,
drinking their weird tap water.

We'll stick to small beer.
That's what they drank on the whaling boats.

If it's good enough for
the spermaceti boys...

Come on,
I don't want this to be work for you.

It's not work. Flipping burgers is work.

This weekend's going to be fine.

Maybe even fun?

Yes, fun. Oh, hey,
I left April's bike in the garage.

Oh, why?

I was going to fix the wheel,
and I forgot it was in the back.

Is it okay I parked it there?

Oh, yeah.

It should be safe.

All right, good. Let's go.

We have a ferry to catch.

Please, don't add anything to that.

Party pooper.

Ooh, there are a bunch of historical
lighthouses. We should definitely see them.

Huh.

I wonder if there's a connection between
the shape of lighthouses,

ferries, spermaceti, and Gay Head.

- You made it!
- We made it!

- Hi, Luke!
- Hey, sorry we're late.

You're not late.

It took longer than we thought,
the ferry and all.

Did you know Martha's vineyard is an island?

Well, I've been here before.

Hey, there's our intrepid travelers.

Hi, Logan.

Welcome, and this must be Luke.

Oh, no, I dumped Luke. This is Clem.

I picked him up at a truck stop on 95.

We were at the register,
paying for our blue plates,

and our hands reached for the
same Dixie Chicks cassette.

- Luke Danes.
- Logan Huntzberger.

Anything else to unload?

Uh, there's a few things, but I've got it.

Great.

So this is the place.

This is the den, and the dining room,
which seats 20, the wet bar.

Just keeps getting better.

And that's the living room,
the kitchen's up there,

and the ocean's out there,
but you can't see it.

Ahh, rip-off.

You guys hungry?

We're fine. We ate on the road.

Cool.
Just a couple peculiarities about the house.

It's a grandma, so it's got its kinks.

Some of the hardwood floors have buckled,
so watch your step.

The french doors are warped from the winter,

so you have to give them a
yank when you open them.

And that noise you may hear outside
your window in the morning...

That would be Stan.

- Gardener?
- Raccoon.

He's been living on the property
longer than my family has.

so we give him free rain.

And the showers- there are three of them.

Run any two at the same time,
and they turn to ice,

so give everybody heads-up
before you take a dive.

Oh, good to know.

And in the morning,
we'll have stuff here to eat,

or you can go up the street to
Joe's Café for breakfast.

They open at 8:00.

7:00, actually.

Right, 7:00. We never go before 8:00.
But that's all.

Want to see your room?

Here we are- we call it the
King and Queen's suite.

Neat. Why?

Because you're our honored guests,
and I just named it that a second ago.

We'll take it.

So, the controller for the heater
is by the nightstand.

All of the windows open,
except for the second one on the left,

so don't try to open it because
you'll hurt your back.

- And don't forget about the showers.
- Got it.

I guess we'll see you guys later.

I'd like to tip you, but I've only got a $20.
You got change?

- Just add it to the bill, ma'am.
- Will do.

Thanks.

Good to have you here.

So, nice digs, huh?

Kind of dark to see.

Well, I saw the weather forecast.
They're predicting light in the morning.

So, how does this work?

How does what work?

Are we supposed to stay in this room tonight?

What's wrong with the room?

Nothing, it's just that it's only 9:30.

It's that early?

What do you think they're
going to do out there?

I don't know.
You think they're going to do something?

I don't know. She's your daughter and
your daughter's snotty boyfriend.

Snotty? I thought he was very nice.

You call that nice? How he embarrassed Rory?

How did he embarrass her?

Correcting her like that with the
"it's open at 7:00" thing?

She was humiliated.

She wasn't humiliated.

Well, we just need them to
hold on for three days.

Hold on how?

Hold on and not break up.

They're not going to break
up in the next three days.

They're not gonna break
in the next three days.

Okay, are we in the room for the night
or you want to venture out?

I don't know.

I'll go see what's what,
get the lay of the land here.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Psst!

Hey, you.

Are we supposed to stay in our rooms?

What? No. Why?

Just checking.

You can stay in there or come out here.

Okay, cool.

Then why are you whispering?

I don't know. We're in somebody else's house.

I know, it's a little weird,
being a foursome.

A little. We'll adjust.

Yeah, we'll adjust.

So, in or out?

I think we'll stay in.

- Okay.
- All right.

- Good night.
- Night.

We've got ourselves a beautiful day.

The ocean is so blue.

I love the beach in the winter.

The summer's too hot, too congested,
you know?

Yep, congested.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Are you eating?

Just a powerbar.

Powerbar?

You want one?

No. Luke, why are you eating?

Well, I wasn't sure what the deal was.

The deal was of what?

I didn't know whether they
served food or not.

What else do you have in here?

Just stuff.

First-aid kit?

In case we got hurt.

Baggie full of batteries for...

The flashlight- illuminates up to 50 yards.

Bug spray, radio, granola bars...
freeze-dried spaghetti?

Just add hot water, eat it out of the bag.

Am I going to find hot water in there?

You got to heat it up on the stove.

Oh... my god.

It's a bowie knife to cut fish,
cut tree limbs...

Amputate a leg?

Not a leg. It could do a foot.

Luke, this is your backcountry bag.
Why did you bring your backcountry bag?

I didn't know what this weekend was.

You didn't know we wouldn't be performing
surgery on each other?

I wanted to be prepared.

I thought this bag was full of clothes.

My other bag's full of clothes.

You're going to freeze.

It's plenty for me. I'm warm-blooded-

I know. I know you're warm-blooded.
Check it and see.

All right. Let's see what else they
have to eat out there, okay?

The freeze-dried spaghetti's
not going to do it for me.

I didn't mean to bring the spaghetti.

Come on. And leave the knife.

Okay.

- Morning.
- Good morning.

Hi, we've got coffee and pastries over there.

The best pastries on the island.

Yeah, you got to get them
early or they run out.

Even the prune is good.

She will not like the prune.

She'll like this prune.

They look great.

Where's Luke?

He is waiting for my signal.

Your signal?

To come out. He wants a signal it's okay.

Got a flare gun in the garage.

Luke, it's okay! Come out.

Morning.

Hey, Luke.

Luke, you know, you don't have to hide.

I wasn't hiding. Did you say I was hiding?

I did not say that.

Help yourself to whatever.

You've got to read faster.

I read at my own pace,
regardless of peer pressure.

But my article is continued in the
section you've been reading

since before John wrote his gospel.

I keep telling her we need to buy two papers.

That's wasteful. We don't need two papers.

We need it for the help of the relationship.
There's your proof.

We got eggs and stuff, too, Luke.

You still hungry?

Still? You guys eat?

No, we just ate a big dinner last night.

Right.

Hey, why don't we take a
little walk first, huh?

The beach is deserted.
We'll have the whole thing to ourselves.

Okay.

You might want a coat.

I'm fine.

Oh, cool.

We won't be long.

Drat.

You snooze, you lose.

Smell that air- sea-y.

Yeah, there's sewage somewhere, too.

I'm loving this.

It's been forever since
I've been to the beach.

Can you imagine living here?

Wonder what real-estate prices are like.

Probably pretty high.

Bet you the Average Joe can't afford it,
that's for sure.

If you work here, you can't live here,

so you have to commute hours every day.

Pretty place to work, though.

Waves keep you up last night?

No, I knew you were awake, though.

Sorry, it's just it's so loud.

And just when I got back to sleep,
Dan shows up.

- Who?
- The raccoon.

- Stan.
- Oh, right.

He decided to play a sousa march
with the trash-can lids.

That's what a bowie knife's for.

Hey

Nice out here, huh?

Beautiful.

You look like you're freezing.

I'm fine.

I forgot to give you these.

Oh, we finally earned your trust, huh?

We decided we'd risk it.

We're heading out.
We'll be back in a couple hours.

Where are you going?

The gym.

I'm sorry.
The ocean's awfully loud down here.

Where did you say you were going?

The gym.

Sorry, the ocean is so loud-

Stop it.
We like to hit the gym when we're here.

I cannot picture this.

Well, stop mocking,
because it's a good thing.

I want to go just to see you at a gym.
You want to go?

Sure, I'll go.

Cool. Let's go.

Great, let's all go to the gym.

That will never stop being funny.

Hit me again, there, friend.

I needed that,
especially after that jog we took.

From the dressing room?

Yeah, it was at least 20 yards.

Plus the three steps we walked
up to get in the building.

That was some gnarly cardio.

What is it about cucumber water that makes it
so much more refreshing than non-cucumber water?

I think it's the cucumber.

So, shall we resume our workout?

Let's do it.

You know, this is a nice facility.

I know, I like that you can get day passes.

You don't have to pay for a whole-

That was loud.

I think a little warning was in order.

No one remembers gym etiquette.

Hey, any idea what part of
the body this exercises?

I don't know.

Do you lift it or pull it?

Or push it or climb it?

So, the walk from the cucumber water to here,
that was, what,

another 20 calories?

Let's call it 40.

Hey, is Luke okay?

Because he seems a little distracted.

Oh, yeah, he's fine.

He's just not much of a traveler,
so it's all kind of foreign to him.

I want him to have a good time.

He will.

Yeah?

Okay if I work in?

Work in what?

Oh, you want to work in.

Yeah, I guess I'm done.

Boy, I'm going to be sore in the morning.

Yeah, good reps there, mom.

Oh, you push with your arms.

I was going to say that.

More cucumber water?

I'm always up for more cucumber water.

God, I'll never get used to that.

- It's probably your shoes.
- Shoes are fine.

Yeah, but they're a size too
small and they're low-tops.

I bought what they had. The shoes are fine.

It's a drag you didn't bring your own gear.

Yeah, drag.

Let's get going here, all right?
I'm playing all out, so you play all out.

You're overestimating my skills if you don't
think I'm playing all out. It's what, 5-1?

6, you got 6- 6-1.

Right, 6-1.

Sorry.

Don't apologize.

That was a foul, too. I charged.

You barely touched me.

I traveled.

No, you didn't foul me,
and you didn't travel.

Okay.

Did you try loosening the laces?

Just check the ball.

6-1?

7, actually.

Right, right. 7.

Sorry.

Don't apologize.

Hey, guys.

What's going on?

Oh, wow.

I was, like, in a zen trance.

I was totally somewhere else.

Me too. I was in Greece. Where were you?

Bergdorf Goodman.

When you reach a zen trance,
you go to Bergdorf Goodman?

To each his own. Thanks, Ron, Jerry.

Yeah, thanks, guys.

I didn't know the gym had masseurs.

They don't.

No, Ron and Jerry work for the laundry
service, but they missed their calling.

You got laundry guys to give you a massage?

Never underestimate the persuasive
powers of Lorelai Gilmore.

So, you guys have fun throwing
the old hoop around?

Or something to that effect.

Look at you. You look like a billboard for
the Martha's vineyard chamber of commerce.

It's all they had.

So, who won the game?

These shoes stink.

So you beat the shoes.

Nobody won. We just had fun.

Do you girls need to clean up at all?

From...?

Right, well, I guess we'll see you out here.

We'll be about 10 minutes.

Okay, see you in 10.

So what do we do?

Ron, Jerry, you got 10 minutes?

I love working out.

So what is this? Like, a fancy meal?

I don't think it's fancy. It's just a meal.
They want us to make some meal.

But is it lunch or dinner? I mean,
it's at a weird time.

Well, I think they just want
us to eat in the daylight,

you know, so we could enjoy the view.

It's getting kind of foggy out.

It's still nice.

I had no idea it would be this cold.

I told you like a million times.

But not this cold,

and it doesn't help that the heat in
this place doesn't work very well.

Well, your full line of vineyard
swag should keep you toasty.

This stuff is cheap as hell.

The sweatpants I bought in the
gym ripped already. Logan...

Logan? What about him?

Well, he's the reason they ripped,
the way he was playing out there.

How was he playing?

I don't know. Annoying.

What was he doing, specifically,
to annoy you?

What wasn't he doing? He was mocking me,

traveling, fouling me without calling it,
cheating on the score.

And that spontaneously caused
your pants to rip?

You know what I mean.

He seemed nice when you guys
came back from the court.

He said you were just playing for fun.

It wasn't fun, believe me.

Maybe you shouldn't have
come with us to the gym.

Nobody forced you to go.

I know.

I mean, it's Valentine's weekend, you know?

How about we stop talking about the
gym and the stupid basketball game?

Sure, okay, fine.

Look, they're probably waiting for us.
I'll just see you out there.

You got it.

I'm sorry,
but this picture just does not compute.

Stop.

You're wielding a knife.
That's verboten in Gilmore world.

You forget that I'm a rebel.

And you're wearing an apron.

It's so my clothes don't get wrecked.

You've not worn an apron since
you saw "the sound of music"

and you put one on so you'd
look like sister Maria,

and you made a big crucifix
out of popsicle sticks.

Wow.

What?

You went to that drawer and
got that thingamabob

like that's what you intended all along.

It was.

You know where things are.

I've cooked here before.

I may need to be resuscitated.

Okay, do you want to help
or keep on the riff?

- Wanna help.
- Okay.

Logan is taking care of the
lobsters for us outside,

and I am making a salad, mashed potatoes,
and bruschetta.

Hmm. What's this?

It's a garlipress.

This would do a foot.

Step away from the knife.

What's this?

That's a lemon zester.

Let me zest a lemon.

No.

I get to do something.

Well, you can't just grab things.

Hi, Luke.

Hey.

Wash your hands, and I will give you a task.

Excellent.

Food looks good.

Rory's going to let me chop something.

Is that wise?

I did not say chop.

I'm ready.

Okay. Chop the celery.

Yay!

Oh, that's a dinner knife.

Well, be very careful, please.

I am Mario Batali and Ina
Garten's love child.

Logan's outside dealing with the lobsters,
if you want to join him-

he was very nice, by the way.

He kept them well-hidden from me when
they were, let's say, not dead.

Not dead?
I don't like behind-the-scenes food stuff.

I'll see what's going on out there.

What did you mean, "it would do a foot"?

Hey, they kick you out of the house?

Kind of.

You like lobster?

I never had lobster.

I think you'll like it if
I don't screw it up.

Making lobster is time-honored
Huntzberger family tradition.

- It's in our blood.
- Great.

So FYI, I'm probably going to do
the present thing at dinner.

The present thing.

Just to give you a heads-up.
Don't want to complicate your life.

You got Rory a present.

For Valentine's day.

You forget?

- No.
- Okay.

I just didn't get her anything.

I mean, Valentine's day isn't
technically till Tuesday.

Sure.

I have a couple of extra days.

Right.

Is there anything open nearby?

Only if you want a windbreaker
or some boating equipment.

Oh.

Look, I went a little nuts and
got two things for Rory.

Let me give you one to give to Lorelai.

No, no, no, no.

Yes, I got a necklace and a tennis bracelet.
She doesn't need both.

Take one, whichever one.

I can't do that.

Dude, it's Valentine's day.
You've got to give your girl a gift.

Well... maybe I will take one.

Which one?

How about the necklace?

Perfect.

Mainly because I have no idea
what a tennis bracelet is.

Let me finish up getting these things on.
I'll take you in and show it to you.

I left them in the car so
Rory wouldn't find it.

You really don't have to do this.

I'm happy to. We men got to stick together.

Okay.

This is fun.

You have got to stop doing that.

I love the squishy feeling.

You're going to overmash them.

Is there such a thing as
overmashing potatoes?

Yes, it's called potato soup.

You know, you can put on the apron and shout
out things like "dice the carrots,"

but implying that you can overmash
potatoes proves you're a phony.

You're the one who thought the potato
masher was a waffle shaper

before I corrected you.

Ow, I think I'm giving myself
mashed-potato elbow.

Would you like more chef's juice?

More wine would be great.

So, have I told you what we're thinking
for the end of the school year?

What who was thinking?

Logan and I.

Get this- Asia.

Asia, wow.

Well, some of Asia-

China, Thailand, Vietnam.

We're thinking six weeks.

Sounds exciting, hon.

We haven't finalized anything yet,

but I bought the books,
I'm doing the research.

It's official. You've become too
fabulous to hang out with me.

How's it going in here?

It's good. I hope you like remashed potatoes.

You can eat them with a straw.

Where are you two headed?

I need the other tongs. They're in the garage

and Luke was going to help me find them.

Right. We'll be right back.

The clawed things out there,
they went peacefully.

Thank you.

It's weird, you know?

What's weird?

I don't know, it just hit me.

These could be the ones.

The ones?

The ones, you know?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Luke, weren't you a lobster neophyte?
Looks like you liked it.

It's good.
I can't believe I've never had it before.

You cooked them perfect.

Here here.

Thanks very much. You're too kind.

Not that I'm hunting for my own compliment,
but that celery I cut, huh?

Let's hear it for the celery chopper.

Oh, this is so spontaneous and unexpected.

Not quite loud enough. Thank you, thank you.

So, should we clear?

It's so pretty out here,
sun will be down soon,

so before it gets dark,
happy Valentine's day.

Oh my god. You humanely killed lobsters
and you got me a present?

I'm a multitasker.

It's a bracelet.

It's a tennis bracelet.

You know what a tennis bracelet is?

Well, my sister makes jewelry,
so I've picked up some terms.

Wow, I love it.

Happy Valentine's day.

Back at you, ace.

Well, I guess it's my turn.

Happy Valentine's day.

Really?

Really.

Oh, my god.

Luke, it's beautiful.

Good, good. It's going to look great on you.

Look at this.

It's you. And it goes well with mine.

Oh, yeah, they're almost matching.

Yeah, Luke and I actually sneaked out

when you two were playing
around in the kitchen.

We found those in the same place.

Yep. Same shop.

I can't believe you got me
a Valentine's day gift.

Is it getting kind of cold?

Yeah, let's go in.
We'll clear all this later.

Let's build a fire and get warm.

Excellent.

You like it?

I love it.

Good.

I really cannot believe I've never
had lobster before. I love it.

It's my favorite thing out of the sea now.

Kicks tuna's ass, kicks salmon's ass.

Yeah, it's good stuff.

Logan did a good job with it, too.

We've got to find a good lobster
place near Stars Hollow.

Probably have to go to Litchfield.

I'm not even going to attempt the
lobster-house pancake world.

Do you know a good lobster place?

What's wrong? I thought you liked it.

Oh, no, I do. It's beautiful.

So what is it?

I don't know.

Lately, I've been feeling like
it's just not going to happen.

That what's not going to happen?

Our wedding.

No, Lorelai, that's crazy.
Of course it's going to happen.

But do you really want it to?

Yes. We're engaged. That hasn't changed.

The wedding's just been postponed.
That's all.

It's not feeling like it's postponed.

What happened? I thought this would
make you happy. It's making you sad.

No, it's not, it's just...

I had to cancel a lot of stuff this week,
a lot of June 3rd stuff.

June 3rd? But-

Well, I was holding out hope that maybe,
if things calmed down with you a little bit,

it would still happen. It was just stupid.

No.

I lost all our deposits.

That doesn't matter.
We'll just put down new deposits.

Really?

We're getting married.

I really want to believe that.

Look, I know I've been preoccupied.
I don't like that about myself.

It's just who I am.

I get in my own head,
and I forget about the people around me.

I know, that's why I thought this
trip would be good for you,

get you thinking about something else,

but it's been cold here and
Logan's been bugging you

and the raccoon is noisy and the
waves were keeping you up.

I think the trip was a dumb idea.

Lorelai, no. It was a good idea.

Hey...

What?

You know I love you, right?

I really need to hear that once in a while.

I love you, and I'm going to marry you,

and at our wedding, we are having lobster.

Okay.

I really love this necklace.

Morning.

Good morning.

How'd you sleep?

I slept great- better than I have in months.

How about you?

Wonderfully, actually.

It's so quiet out there.

Just the waves.

They didn't keep you up?

No, I slept like a rock.

I wonder if Rory and Logan hit the gym again.
I'm going to go check.

I wouldn't put it past them.

Or maybe they went hang gliding,

went to climb a mountain, pearl diving,
or skeet shooting.

Wow!

What?

Breakfast Santa's been here.

Breakfast Santa?

Wow.

Kids must have left it for us.

Well, I don't think there's
really a breakfast Santa.

So, how do we do this?

Legs.

Service here is so excellent.

That must have been Harvey's beach.

Last time I was at the beach, I was like 18.

I was there-

when I was a kid, I used to go with
my friend Trish and her family.

It had that snack stand where the
cute boy worked. Remember?

He looked like Emilio Estevez.

Well, I remember the snack stand, not Emilio.

We used to do cartwheels
to get his attention.

I remember my sister picking
up someone's cigarette butt

behind that stand and smoking it.

You know, we could have been there at the
same time on the same day. Isn't that weird?

Nah, we never were.

How do you know?

Because you would have distracted
me from the snack-stand guy.

And no guy ever did.

What about eloping?

What?

Eloping- we can do that, right?
Instead of planning this whole big thing?

I don't know. Maybe.

I guess we could.

But Rory has to come.
Is it still eloping if Rory comes?

Sure, why not? Let's start planning it.

You don't plan an elopement. You just do it.

Oh, right. That makes sense.

We could even come back and do it
here when the weather's better.

We could rent a place for a
couple weeks in the summer.

That sounds nice.

Whoa, loud.

Must be Rory and Logan.

In some kind of hurry.

You guys, we're up here!

In the interest of full disclosure,
we're fairly casual.

Who are you?

Who are you?

Mitchum Huntzberger.

Who are you?

Um, I'm Lorelai. I'm Rory's mother.

I'm looking for my son.

Dad!

Where the hell have you been?

What are you doing here?

You turn off your cell,
you turn off your pager.

I told you never turn off your pager.

I got your pages.

So you're ignoring them? That's great.

We're going to have it out in public?

We're not in public, Logan.
We're in my house.

Yeah, we're going to have it out here.

You didn't need me this weekend.

You don't get to decide whether
you're needed or not.

I decide that. Do you hear me?

They heard you in Nantucket.

You were not to be here.

You were supposed to be on a red-eye
to London last night.

- I was in a room full of colleagues!
- I've met all of them!

Some of them actually come from
other bureaus to meet you,

and you blow it off to be with
your little girlfriend!

You embarrassed me!

You want to talk to me about embarrassment?

You listen to me.
You're getting on a plane to London.

You're getting on a plane to London today.

Dad!

And you're going to explain to my colleagues
why you wasted their Saturday

and robbed them of their Sunday.

And let me tell you this.
You better start acclimating yourself

because you're in London for at least a year
starting the day after you graduate,

- as we discussed.
- You discussed it.

You're doing this, Logan,

and I'm driving you to the
airport myself right now.

Get packed.

You've got 10 minutes.

I have guests.

Your guests can stay.

You're leaving!

Excuse me.

Hey. Still here?

Yeah, just waiting for Rory
to get her things.

You need any help there?

No, thanks, Luke.

No problem. I just have to get that last bag.

I'm really, really sorry about this.

Oh, hey, it's okay.

It was fun while it lasted.

No one understands letting family
down better than I do.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Walk you out?

Intimidating.

So, a full year in London.

Yeah.

So, when do you move, exactly?

The Asia thing...

I guess that's on the back burner?

Do you have to leave the very day after
you graduate or is there a cushion or-

Stop. It's not happening. Okay?

Not yet. It's February.
We don't have to think about this right now.

Right now, it doesn't even exist, okay?

I'm not going to think about it.
Let's not think about it.

Okay.

Take the Porsche home and keep planning Asia.

I've got all my books with me.

Good.

So that's Mitchum, huh?

It's just like I imagined him.

Hey, Caesar.

Luke, you're back early. How was it?

Great.

Ended dramatically, but, yeah.

Well, welcome back.

There was something I was
supposed to tell you.

Was it important?

Must not have been.

Well, I'll take care of out here.
Why don't you close out the back?

Sure. Coffee's fresh. Maybe that was it.

- Was that it?
- No.

Well, I'd love some coffee.

Coming up.

Okay.
What am I going to do with all that stuff?

Keep it. It looked good on you,
especially the sweatpants.

You got nice mass ass.

A what?

Massachusetts ass.

Well, maybe I'll keep those then.

I remember. Your daughter- I'm an idiot.

What?

That's what I had to tell you-

April kept calling to confirm the
time she's coming over tomorrow.

- Oh, she did?
- 3:00-

she kept calling to remind me like
I wouldn't remember to tell you,

which I almost didn't.

She's pretty smart.

Yeah, thanks, Caesar.

Uh...

So, 3:00 tomorrow.

I guess her mother will pick
her up around 7:00, so...

Great. So, I'll pop up sometime after that.

Okay.

Oh, and her bike- it's at my place.

Right. Right, I guess I'll...
pick it up tomorrow before 3:00.

Sure, anytime.

You know, um, I'm just kind of tired.
I don't need to wire myself up again.

I think I'm just going to go home.

Oh, okay.
I'll just tell Caesar I'm taking you.

No, that's okay. That's okay.
I think I'm going to walk.

You sure?

Yeah, yeah, stay here.
I'll get my bags tomorrow

or you can bring them when
you come get April's bike.

Sure, whatever you want. It's cold out there,
you know?

I know.

Cold can be nice sometimes.

See you tomorrow.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Lorelai, it's your aunt Alice.

Jim and I saw the beautiful picture of you
in the paper announcing your engagement.

How wonderful, and what a wonderful picture.

I told Emily that you looked so young.

We marked our calendar for June 3rd,
and we look forward to it.

And we're really looking forward to
meeting this man of yours, as well.

A restaurant tour, it says.

Say hello to Rory for us,
and we'll see you soon. Bye.

Hello, this is Amelda Landers,
and I'm of the DAR with your mother

and of course you went to school for
a period with my daughter Carol.

I told Carol I would pass her congratulations
on to you for the announcement.

So that's it. Picture's beautiful. Goodbye.

Hello, Lorelai, it's your uncle James.

Emily called to tell us to
save the date- June 3rd.