Gilmore Girls (2000–2007): Season 5, Episode 17 - Pulp Friction - full transcript
Rory and Logan's casual dating situation gets more complicated when Rory spots Logan with another girl and her jealousy sets in. Rory decides to go to a party with a guy she barely knows, which makes Logan jealous. Luke and Lorela...
RIBBONS HERE! RETURN
YOUR RIBBONS HERE.
THAT'S RIGHT,
FOLKS. HERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU, SIR. RIGHT
IN THE BOX, MA'AM.
RIBBONS HERE! RETURN
YOUR RIBBONS HERE!
KIRK, STOP THAT.
CAN'T STOP YET, LUKE.
HAVEN'T GOT THEM ALL YET.
I MEAN IT. PUT THE BOX AWAY.
LUKE, YOU AND LORELAI
HAVE RECONCILED.
I KNOW, KIRK, I WAS THERE.
AND SINCE YOU TWO HAVE
RECONCILED, IT'S ONLY APPROPRIATE
THAT THE CITIZENS
OF STARS HOLLOW
TAKE OFF THEIR PINS
AND START TO HEAL.
IN MY CASE, LITERALLY. I CAUGHT
ABOUT AN INCH OF CHEST FLESH
WITH THIS SHARP LITTLE SUCKER.
KIRK... LULU, HEY!
NO, KIRK. I LIKE MY RIBBON!
IT'S PINK. I LIKE PINK!
THIS IS BIGGER THAN
YOUR LOVE OF PINK!
NO!
LULU!
LULU, GET BACK HERE! LULU!
WOW! DID YOU SEE THAT?
(Luke) YOU KNOW, IF
SOMEONE OPENED A STORE
IN THIS TOWN SELLING
GIANT BUTTERFLY NETS,
THEY'D MAKE A FORTUNE.
COME ON, THE CRAZY
NEED LOVE, TOO.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, WELCOME BACK.
NICE TO BE HERE.
WANT SOME COFFEE?
OH, SAY THAT AGAIN SLOWER
AND WITH YOUR PANTS OFF.
WHAT'S THAT?
MY PRETTY, PRETTY FACE.
IT'S A WESTON'S COFFEE CUP.
IS IT?
YOU BRING AN ENEMY COFFEE CUP IN
HERE ON THE DAY OF OUR RECONCILIATION.
AT LEAST I DIDN'T ASK
YOU FOR A FAVOR ON THIS,
THE DAY OF YOUR
DAUGHTER'S WEDDING.
GET THAT COFFEE OUT OF HERE.
THIS IS NOT COFFEE.
THIS IS A
MOCHA-CHOCOLATE-CARAMEL
SWIRLACCINO WITH
EXTRA WHIPPED CREAM.
THAT SOUNDS DISGUSTING.
IT IS, AND IF IT WAS
PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE
TO MAKE LOVE TO A HOT
BEVERAGE, THIS WOULD BE THE ONE.
SO APPARENTLY, I'VE
GOT COMPETITION.
NO, NO, NO, IT'S JUST A FLING.
I'LL FINALLY SPEND
THE NIGHT WITH IT,
BUT THEN WHEN I
SEE IT IN THE MORNING
WITH THE CARAMEL UNSWIRLED,
AND THE WHIPPED CREAM UNWHIPPED...
[scoffs] BYE-BYE.
[groaning]
MAN, THAT WAS HARD.
[people chattering]
[sighing]
SHE MUST HAVE STRETCHED FIRST.
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
(Rory) SO JUDGING
FROM THE SNORES,
I'M GUESSING YOU
LOVE THE THEATER.
THAT WAS NOT A
SNORE, IT WAS A GROAN.
IT WAS NOT A PAINFUL PLAY.
ANY PLAY IS A
PAINFUL PLAY FOR ME.
THAT'S TOO BAD, BECAUSE
YOU'RE GONNA MISS OUT ON
SOME WONDERFUL THINGS.
YEAH, LIKE WHAT?
MY MOM TOOK ME TO SEE
CAROLINE, OR CHANGE IN NEW YORK,
TONY KUSHNER'S MUSICAL, AND IT WAS
THE MOST AMAZING THING WE EVER SAW.
TONY KUSHNER WROTE
ANGELS IN AMERICA.
I KNOW WHO TONY KUSHNER IS.
SO YOU'VE SEEN HIS PLAYS?
NO, MY MOM PLAYS CANASTA WITH
HIM EVERY MONTH HE'S IN TOWN.
TONY KUSHNER PLAYS
CANASTA WITH YOUR MOTHER?
BADLY, BUT, YES.
YOU HAVE A MAGICAL LIFE, HUNTZBERGER,
AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT.
SO, WHERE TO NEXT?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
MAHJONG WITH MAMET.
HOW'S ICE CREAM SOUND?
ICE CREAM SOUNDS GREAT.
THEN ICE CREAM IT IS.
WHOA, LOGAN, WHERE
ARE WE GOING? SLOW DOWN.
YOU SLOW DOWN, YOU DIE, ACE.
YEAH, YOU GO TOO FAST IN
HEELS, AND YOU KIND OF DIE ALSO.
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
[door shuts]
(Logan) WE'RE GETTING ICE CREAM.
BUT THE DINING HALL'S
CLOSED. WE'RE BREAKING IN.
THAT'S A VERY NEGATIVE
WAY TO LOOK AT IT.
HOW DO YOU HAVE A
KEY TO THE DINING HALL?
I KNOW A LOT OF VERY
POWERFUL LOCKSMITHS. MMM-HMM.
WHAT HAPPENS IF WE GET
CAUGHT? COULD WE GET SUSPENDED?
THEY CAN'T KICK YOU OUT OF
SCHOOL FOR THIS, CAN THEY?
HEY, RELAX, LOOK AROUND.
FOR TONIGHT, THIS IS ALL YOURS.
IT IS KIND OF COOL.
WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE KITCHEN.
WHOA, OH, I'VE NEVER SEEN THE CEREAL
STATION COMPLETELY FULL BEFORE.
I'M NEVER HERE EARLY ENOUGH.
I KNEW THEY HAD COCOA PUFFS.
THEN GO CRAZY, ACE.
NO, WE'RE GETTING ICE CREAM.
THERE'S NO RULE THAT SAYS YOU
CAN'T HAVE ICE CREAM AND CEREAL.
GO ON, GET YOUR COCOA PUFFS.
FIRST COCOA PUFFS OF THE DAY.
THIS IS A HISTORICAL MOMENT.
[chuckling] OK, NEXT
STOP, ICE CREAM.
MMM. WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
I'M LOOKING FOR
THE SWIPE MACHINE
SO I CAN DEDUCT POINTS
FROM MY MEAL PLAN.
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
WELL, THE SCHOOL PAYS FOR
THE FOOD, AND... TRUST ME,
WITH ALL THE MONEY MY FAMILY
HAS DONATED TO THIS SCHOOL
THEY CAN AFFORD TO BE OUT
OF A FEW COCOA PUFFS. LET'S GO.
THIS IS FUN.
YOU'RE AN EASY GIRL TO PLEASE.
LET'S HIT THE KITCHEN.
ACE, COME ON.
I'M COMING.
LOOKS GREAT. OH, THAT... OK.
THANKS. THAT'S ENOUGH THERE.
JUST MAKE SURE YOU GET THE
STAIRS NOW. OH, NO, THOSE GO OUTSIDE.
ANACENCIA WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU.
OH, WHAT A SURPRISE. A PLATE
OF COOKIES ON THE COFFEE TABLE
TO MATCH THE BASKET OF
CUPCAKES ON THE RECEPTION DESK.
COME ON, I ALWAYS DO THIS.
NO, YOU ALWAYS DO THIS
WHEN A PHOTOGRAPHER FROM
AMERICAN TRAVEL MAGAZINE
IS COMING TO PHOTOGRAPH US FOR
(both) ONE OF THE TOP
10 INNS IN CONNECTICUT!
[exclaiming]
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YOU KNOW, I MOVED THE
FURNITURE IN THE BEDROOMS
AROUND 4 TIMES LAST NIGHT.
AND YOU ENDED UP?
WITH EVERYTHING IN EXACTLY
THE SAME PLACE I STARTED WITH.
[giggles]
OH, THE DINING ROOM
LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.
THANK YOU.
AND WHAT A SURPRISE.
A CAKE ON EVERY TABLE.
SO NO ONE HAS TO SHARE.
(Lorelai) OK, FLOOR LOOKS
GOOD, TABLE LOOKS GOOD.
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR
BOOKS? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
ALL OUR BEAUTIFUL
LEATHER-BOUND BOOKS.
JONATHAN SWIFT, EDITH
WHARTON, CHARLES DICKENS.
A LOT OF THEM ARE GONE. THE
GUESTS MUST HAVE SWIPED THEM.
THEY SWIPED JONATHAN SWIFT AND
LEFT ME WITH CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG
AND 5 COPIES OF HE'S
JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU?
WE'VE BEEN AIRPLANE-BOOKED.
[sighing] WE GOTTA
GET THEM OUT OF HERE.
HEY, EDDIE, WILL YOU GET
THESE OUT OF HERE? THANKS.
I'LL RAID RORY'S
LEFTOVERS TONIGHT.
[speaking in French accent] WELL, THERE
EVERYBODY IS. WHO MISSED MICHEL?
HUH, TRICK QUESTION?
HOW WAS CALIFORNIA?
AH, YOU KNOW, IT IS INSANITY.
WHAT IS DIFFERENT ABOUT ME?
YOU'RE WEARING
SUNGLASSES INSIDE?
THEY ARE NOT SUNGLASSES.
THEY ARE EYEWEAR.
EVERYONE IN LOS ANGELES WEARS
PAIRS AND PAIRS OF EYEWEAR.
WELL, YOU LOOK GREAT.
[sighing] I TELL YOU, I
BELONG OUT THERE.
EVERYBODY IS THIN AND GORGEOUS.
OH, THERE'S THIS PLACE ON SUNSET
BOULEVARD, COFFEE BEAN & TEA LEAF.
AND EVERYBODY THERE
TALKS EXACTLY LIKE ME.
WOW. (Michel) I GOT BOTOX.
OW! DR. WU, SHE'S A GENIUS,
EVERYONE GOES THERE.
AND LOOK, I GOT THEM DONE BY THE
SAME GUY WHO DOES NICK LACHEY.
OK, GATHER AROUND.
I BROUGHT GIFTS.
GIFTS? GREAT.
OH, THE SHOPPING OUT THERE,
UNBELIEVABLE. RODEO DRIVE.
DIG A HOLE AND DROP ME
IN, EVEN IF I'M NOT DEAD YET.
OK, FOR YOU AND FOR YOU.
[exclaiming] IT'S A SMOG GLOBE.
[laughing] THEY ARE SO
FUNNY IN CALIFORNIA.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.
I HEARD IT'S A FABULOUS
BOOK, AND SO TRUE.
OH, I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU
THE MOST AMAZING PART YET.
YOU GOT YOUR BOOBS DONE BY SAME
THE GUY WHO DID PAMELA ANDERSON?
NO, THOUGH I DID MEET
HIM AT THE COFFEE BEAN.
I WAS AT THIS PLACE
CALLED THE FARMERS MARKET
AND I WAS JUST SITTING THERE
MINDING ANYBODY'S BUSINESS
AND A MAN CAME UP TO ME
AND ASKED IF I WOULD LIKE TO BE
A CONTESTANT ON
THE PRICE IS RIGHT.
[gasps] YOU'RE KIDDING!
I WAS SO STUNNED.
I MEAN, I NEVER CONSIDERED
BEING ON A GAME SHOW
BUT I WAS FINISHED WITH MY BO
BO TEA, SO I FIGURED, WHY NOT?
THEY JUST ASKED YOU TO BE ON?
YES.
BOY, THAT'S WEIRD. JACKSON'S
COUSIN MONTY DID THE PRICE IS RIGHT
AND HE TOLD US THAT THE CONTESTANTS
HAD TO GET UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN,
(Sookie) STAND IN LINE FOR HOURS
WITH HUNDREDS OF TOURISTS
AND THEN SHOW HOW ENTHUSIASTIC
A CONTESTANT THEY WOULD BE.
YOU KNOW, JUMPING UP AND
DOWN, SCREAMING AND YELLING.
YOU DON'T SAY. YEAH.
AND THEY HAD TO WEAR
EMBARRASSING T-SHIRTS
THAT SAID THINGS LIKE, "PICK
ME, BOB, I NEUTERED MY DOG."
(Sookie) AND THEY SPENT WEEKS
STUDYING THE PRICE OF TURTLE WAX
AND HAMBURGER HELPER.
OK, FINE, I MAY HAVE JUMPED A
LITTLE, BUT I DID NOT WEAR A T-SHIRT.
MICHEL, WHAT WOULD NICK
LACHEY'S TEETH GUY SAY?
MAKE FUN IF YOU WANT, BUT
I WALKED AWAY THE WINNER
OF OVER $100,000
OF CASH AND PRIZES.
THEN WHAT'S WITH
THE CHEAP GIFTS?
THAT'S NOT EVEN THAT SMOGGY.
WHY DO I TALK TO YOU? WHY?
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA RUN OVER
TO LUKE'S AND GRAB SOME DINNER
AND THEN I WILL BE BACK
TO FINISH THE SETUP.
GOT IT.
[sighs]
WELL, IF YOU JUST PUT IT IN
THE BOX, LIKE I TOLD YOU TO
I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD
TO FOLLOW YOU IN.
HERE'S YOUR FRIES.
(Lorelai) MMM, GOOD.
WHERE'S THE REST OF
YOUR BURGER? I ATE IT.
I WAS GONE 2 SECONDS.
KETCHUP, PLEASE.
BY THE TIME WE GET THE
KETCHUP, THE FRIES WILL BE GONE.
YOU'RE RIGHT,
FORGET THE KETCHUP.
SLOW DOWN. I CAN'T SLOW
DOWN. I ONLY HAVE 15 MINUTES
BEFORE I HAVE TO
GET BACK TO THE INN.
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE YOURSELF SICK.
YES, BUT MY SICKNESS WILL REMIND
ME OF YOU, SO IT'LL BE ROMANTIC.
ROMANTIC NAUSEA.
I GET THAT ALL THE TIME.
HIT ME WITH THE PIE. WHAT PIE?
(Lorelai) THE BOYSENBERRY PIE.
WE'RE OUT OF BOYSENBERRY PIE.
HOW CAN YOU BE OUT
OF BOYSENBERRY PIE?
BECAUSE SOMEONE
ORDERED THE LAST PIECE.
BUT I SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU TO
SAVE ME A PIECE OF BOYSENBERRY PIE.
UH, NO, YOU DIDN'T.
UH, YES, I DID. WHEN?
(Lorelai) I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE.
I NEVER GOT A MESSAGE.
I LEFT IT ON YOUR CELL PHONE.
OH, IS THAT WHAT THAT
ANNOYING BEEPING SOUND WAS?
YES, IT WAS TELLING YOU
THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND CALLED
AND ASKED YOU TO
SAVE HER SOME PIE.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO USE THE VOICE MAIL.
[snickering] YOU DON'T? OR
ANYTHING ELSE ON THIS STUPID THING.
I KNOW HOW TO MAKE A CALL AND
ANSWER A CALL AND THEN I AM OUT.
GIVE ME THAT. YOU'VE GOT TO
LEARN HOW TO USE THIS THING
BECAUSE IT IS VERY
POWERFUL, AND WONDERFUL
AND IT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I AM PUTTING MY
NUMBER ON SPEED DIAL
SO ALL YOU HAVE
TO DO IS HIT "1," SEE,
'CAUSE, LIKE, I'M NUMBER ONE.
[cell phone ringing] AND THEN...
OH, I WONDER WHO
THAT COULD BE. HMM.
HELLO? GIVE ME.
NO CELL PHONES IN THE DINER.
MMM! SEE? WASN'T
THAT FUN? TOTALLY.
WANT ME TO PUT IT
ON VIBRATE FOR YOU?
YOUR 15 MINUTES ARE UP.
OH, CRAP, I GOT TO
GO. TAKE A DOUGHNUT.
SO, THEN, SUNDAY?
PICK YOU UP AT 8:00.
I'LL LEAVE YOU A MESSAGE
LETTING YOU KNOW
YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING LUCKY.
HEY, KIRK, HOW'S THE
RIBBON COLLECTING COMING?
OH, WHY DO YOU GET HIM STARTED?
I THINK WE'RE NEAR
THE FINISH LINE.
WHO'S WINNING? HEY,
THIS ISN'T A CONTEST.
I JUST WANNA KNOW. I
DON'T CARE WHO'S WINNING.
WELL, THEN YOU WON'T CARE IF
IT'S ME. WELL, OF COURSE IT'S YOU.
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT MAKES THE
COSTUMES FOR THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT.
YOU MAKE THE ORNAMENTS
FOR THE FIRELIGHT FESTIVAL.
YOU GO TO THE TOWN MEETINGS.
YOU SAY HELLO TO PEOPLE.
YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER
WHO LOOKS LIKE
SHE BELONGS ON TOP
OF A CHRISTMAS TREE.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT
GETS YOU TONS OF POINTS.
YEAH. THERE'S NO WAY
TO COMPETE WITH THAT.
KIRK? YOU'RE KICKING HIS ASS.
YES! THIS ISN'T A CONTEST.
NO, NOT NOW IT ISN'T.
KIRK, I WANT A FINAL TALLY,
BECAUSE THE RIBBON LOSER
IS BUYING THE RIBBON-WINNER
DINNER SUNDAY NIGHT.
LOSER PAYS? WHEN
DID WE AGREE ON THAT?
OH, GEE, I MUST HAVE LEFT
THAT ON YOUR VOICE MAIL, TOO.
[sighing]
[door chimes ringing]
[cell phone ringing]
HEY, MOM. HEY.
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT
DOING A LITTLE SHOPPING TOMORROW?
HURT, CONFUSED, A LITTLE DIRTY.
I NEED TO GET A NEW
BACK-TOGETHER-WITH-LUKE DRESS
FOR MY
BACK-TOGETHER-WITH-LUKE DATE.
OH, WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?
HOW ABOUT THE NEW
PLACE WHERE YOU GOT
THE SCARF WITH THE BOWS ON IT?
OH, YES, CUTE PLACE.
I WANT TO GO TO THE CUTE PLACE.
(Rory) 10:00?
I'LL BE THE ONE HOLDING COFFEE.
SO, UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?
MOM. WHAT? ARE YOU DRIVING?
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE DRIVING.
I AM DRIVING.
YOU ARE? WHERE YOU GOING?
YOU KNOW WHERE I'M GOING, MOM.
DISNEYLAND? NO.
PUPPY WORLD? YOU'RE SO IMMATURE.
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME SAY IT?
SAY WHAT?
I AM ON MY WAY TO
FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER.
[taunting] THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU'RE ON THE ROAD TO HELLVILLE.
DO NOT GLOAT.
I'M NOT GLOATING. I'M
GLOATING WITH HAND GESTURES,
BYE. AND A LITTLE SOFT SHOE.
GOT TO GO. LISTEN, ENJOY
YOUR GLAZED WOODCOCK
WITH A SIDE OF
TRUFFLED GOOSE HEAD.
OH, WHAT A SHAME,
I'M HERE. YOU ARE NOT.
SEE YOU TOMORROW. OH, RORY,
WAIT, I'M GLOATING WITH JAZZ HANDS.
BYE, MOM.
FINISH UP, KIRK. I'M
CLOSING UP EARLY.
YOU'RE GOING TO SEE
LORELAI TONIGHT, AREN'T YOU?
ACTUALLY, NO. SHE'S WORKING.
I'M GONNA SEE HER SUNDAY NIGHT.
THAT SOUNDS NICE.
YOU GUYS PROBABLY SPEND
A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER.
YES, WE DO.
AND YOU PROBABLY SLEEP OVER
AT EACH OTHER'S HOUSES, TOO, HUH?
COOKIES ARE ON THE HOUSE, KIRK.
JUST GO, OK?
YOU KNOW, LULU'S MY
FIRST REAL GIRLFRIEND.
I HAD AN IMAGINARY
GIRLFRIEND FOR A WHILE
WHEN I WAS YOUNG,
BUT SHE LEFT ME.
WELL, THAT HAPPENS.
I WISH LULU AND I COULD HAVE
WHAT YOU AND LORELAI HAVE.
YOU CAN HAVE THAT, KIRK.
YOU WILL HAVE IT, IN FACT
WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE
AND GO HAVE IT RIGHT NOW?
YOU KNOW, I LIVE WITH MY MOTHER.
APPARENTLY, I'M OFFICIALLY
IN THIS CONVERSATION.
DON'T KNOW HOW
IT HAPPENED, BUT...
MY MOTHER IS ALLERGIC TO LULU.
THE MINUTE LULU
COMES IN THE ROOM,
MOTHER WILL COUGH
AND CHOKE AND TURN RED.
HER THROAT CLOSES UP,
EVERYTHING GETS PUFFY.
LULU'S TRIED EVERYTHING.
SHE CHANGED HER SOAP, HER PERFUME,
SHAMPOO, CREAM RINSE, DEODORANT.
SHE'S ACTUALLY KIND OF A MESS RIGHT
NOW, BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK.
KIRK. OBVIOUSLY, I
CAN'T HAVE MOTHER
CHOKING 3 TIMES A WEEK
SO I CONSIDERED CONSTRUCTING
A SEPARATE ENTRANCE TO MY ROOM
SO THAT LULU WON'T ACTUALLY
HAVE TO WALK THROUGH THE HOUSE
BUT THAT'S GONNA
COST ABOUT $40,000
BECAUSE I'D HAVE TO BREAK
THROUGH A BEARING WALL...
KIRK, STOP. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
YOU'RE A GROWN MAN.
YOU'VE GOT TO CHANGE
YOUR LIVING SITUATION.
MY MOTHER WON'T
MOVE OUT. I'VE ASKED.
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR
MOTHER, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU.
ME? YES, YOU.
GET A LIFE, GET SOME
INDEPENDENCE, GET OUT OF THERE.
BUT... YOU WANT TO HAVE A
REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH LULU?
YES.
THEN GROW UP, BE A MAN.
I'M NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING TO ME.
WELL, KIRK, I HAVE GIVEN
YOU THE LINCOLN LOGS.
YOU HAVE TO BUILD THE CABIN.
LOCK THE DOOR BEHIND YOU.
YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT
A REAL CABIN, ARE YOU?
'CAUSE IF A NEW ENTRANCE
IS GONNA COST $40,000
THEN A CABIN'S GOT TO BE MORE.
[door closing] (Luke)
GOOD NIGHT, KIRK.
[door bell ringing]
♪ [music playing]
EMILY, THEY'RE HERE.
HURRY, PLEASE.
♪ [piano music playing]
OH, MY GOODNESS, THE
BAG IS BIGGER THAN YOU ARE.
I BROUGHT YOU SOME RECENT
ISSUES OF THE YALE DAILY NEWS.
WE'VE BEEN DOING SOME
REALLY GOOD ARTICLES LATELY.
AND SOME WITH A BYLINE I
MIGHT BE FAMILIAR WITH, I HOPE.
I BELIEVE THAT, YES,
YOU'LL FIND SOME HIGHLIGHTED
SECTIONS IN YOUR HYMNALS.
THEN HAND THE BAG
OVER, MY DEAR. OK.
SORRY TO KEEP EVERYONE WAITING.
UH, LUCKILY, WE
HAD PLENTY TO READ.
HELLO, RORY.
HELLO, GRANDMA.
LET'S GO IN THE LIVING
ROOM, SHALL WE?
EXCELLENT IDEA.
PARDON ME, MRS. GILMORE, SHALL
I PUT THE SALADS OUT NOW, MA'AM?
WE HAVEN'T HAD DRINKS
YET, OLYMPIA. YES, MA'AM.
I WROTE IT ALL DOWN ON THE
REFRIGERATOR PAD FOR YOU, OLYMPIA.
IS SOMEONE ELSE
COMING FOR DINNER?
UH, SOMEONE ELSE? NO,
IT'S JUST GONNA BE US.
"US," MEANING, JUST
THE 3 OF US HERE, RIGHT?
I MEAN, YOU KNOW
MOM'S NOT COMING?
OH, WELL, ACTUALLY...
OF COURSE WE KNOW YOUR MOTHER'S
NOT COMING. THE MAID MADE A MISTAKE.
OLYMPIA, IT WAS 3
FOR DINNER, NOT 4.
WELL, SHE'S FIRED.
CLEAR THAT PLACE
AT ONCE, PLEASE.
RICHARD, TAKE RORY IN THE
LIVING ROOM. I'LL JUST DO IT MYSELF.
ALL RIGHT.
[silverware rattling]
NOW, I HAD OLYMPIA WRITE OUT
THE REHEATING INSTRUCTIONS
FOR THE GOOSE, AND THEY WORK.
I HAD HER TEST IT
DURING DESSERT.
THANK YOU, GRANDMA.
I ALSO PUT SOME HARRY
AND DAVID FRUIT IN THERE.
OH, YOU CAN EAT THE
PEARS WITH A SPOON.
I'LL REMEMBER THAT. BYE,
GRANDPA. BYE, GRANDMA.
BYE, BYE.
BYE, RORY.
WELL, THAT WAS A
PLEASANT EVENING.
REALLY? WHAT DINNER WERE YOU AT?
WELL, WE WEREN'T EXACTLY
SURE SHE WAS COMING, EMILY.
I WAS SURE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND
IT. WHY WASN'T SHE HERE?
I'M GUESSING SHE
HAD SOMETHING TO DO.
SOMETHING TO DO?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN,
"SOMETHING TO DO"?
IT MEANS SHE HAD A
PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT
OR MEETING, A DINNER, PERHAPS.
I KNOW WHAT "SOMETHING
TO DO" MEANS, RICHARD.
MY APOLOGIES, EMILY.
IT DOESN'T MAKE
ANY SENSE AT ALL.
I WENT DOWN THERE. I
ARRANGED THE WHOLE THING.
SHE GOT HER FILTHY
DINER OWNER BACK.
WHAT IS THE
PROBLEM? I DON'T KNOW.
LORELAI IS AS MUCH OF A
MYSTERY TO ME AS SHE IS TO YOU.
I MADE A WHOLE GOOSE
FOR 3 PEOPLE, WASTEFUL.
DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE THAT
THEY DIDN'T GET BACK TOGETHER?
WHAT? PERHAPS IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
MAYBE HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU WERE TELLING HIM TO DO.
HOW COULD HE NOT UNDERSTAND? I
SPELLED IT OUT FOR HIM, STEP BY STEP.
I SPOKE CLEARLY AND SLOWLY.
THERE'S NO WAY HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT I WAS TELLING HIM TO DO.
ALL RIGHT, THEN PERHAPS HE
UNDERSTOOD BUT HE SIMPLY DIDN'T DO IT.
HE'S NOT THE MOST TAKE-CHARGE
SORT OF FELLOW, YOU KNOW.
HE NEVER DID FOLLOW THROUGH ON
MY ADVICE TO FRANCHISE HIS DINER.
OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE
RIGHT. HE DIDN'T DO IT.
HE DIDN'T GO TO HER LIKE I
SPECIFICALLY TOLD HIM TO.
SO IT WOULD SEEM.
WHAT AN IMBECILE THAT MAN IS.
WELL, YOU GAVE IT YOUR BEST
EFFORT. NO ONE CAN SAY YOU DIDN'T.
I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT.
DON'T WORRY, EMILY.
I'M SURE SHE'LL COME
AROUND EVENTUALLY.
AND THEN AT LEAST WE WON'T HAVE
TO DEAL WITH THEM AS A COUPLE.
HERE, LET ME FRESHEN
UP YOUR DRINK.
[chattering]
IF I STILL WANT THAT SWEATER IN 20
MINUTES, I'M COMING BACK TO GET IT.
OK, WAIT, WHAT IS WRONG
WITH THIS PICTURE? HUH?
LOOK AT YOU. AN ARMFUL OF BAGS
AND A POTENTIAL 20-MINUTE
SWEATER ON THE WAY.
LOOK AT ME, COMPLETELY BAGLESS.
RELAX, THE DAY IS STILL YOUNG.
THERE ARE NO MORE CLOTHES OUT
THERE FOR ME. THE LORELAI LOOK IS OVER.
I WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD
ME. THAT WOULD HAVE HELPED.
OH, SEE? THAT'S WHAT I WANT.
HEY, COME ON, LET'S FOLLOW HER.
I'M NOT FOLLOWING THAT GIRL.
BUT SHE KNOWS WHERE MY STORES
ARE, AND SHE LOOKS ABOUT MY SIZE
(Lorelai) SO IF SHE HAPPENS
TO HAVE AN ANEURYSM
BETWEEN NOW AND
TOMORROW NIGHT...
[traffic moving] WHAT? OH,
MY GOD, IS THAT LOGAN?
IT IS LOGAN. I CAN'T
BELIEVE IT. WHAT A JERK.
MOM, IT'S OK.
NO, IT'S NOT OK.
(Lorelai) HE'S SITTING
OVER THERE WITH A GIRL.
OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
GET ME A ROCK. MOM.
I AM BEATING HIM WITH A
ROCK. MOM, STOP, IT'S FINE.
HOW IS IT FINE? I'M SORRY,
AREN'T YOU STILL SEEING HIM?
WELL, YEAH. OK, SO IF
YOU'RE STILL SEEING HIM,
AND HE'S OVER THERE SEEING HER,
HOW IS THAT OK?
BECAUSE WE'RE KEEPING
THINGS CASUAL. CASUAL?
WE SEE EACH OTHER,
WE SEE OTHER PEOPLE
AND THAT'S HIM OVER THERE
SEEING OTHER PEOPLE. SO IT'S FINE.
OH. WE BOTH AGREED.
OK, IF YOU BOTH AGREED, THEN OK.
BUT AREN'T YOU GUYS
SLEEPING TOGETHER?
MOM, IT'S COLLEGE.
OH, RIGHT, IT'S COLLEGE.
WE'RE BOTH BUSY.
WE HAVE CLASS, WE HAVE
FRIENDS. YOU KNOW, IT'S GOOD TO
JUST KEEP THINGS CAJ, HAVE
FUN, THAT'S IT. FUN, SURE, I GET IT.
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS.
NO PROBLEM. I WATCH OPRAH.
OK, SO, ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE COOL WITH THIS?
I'M COMPLETELY COOL WITH THIS.
OK, BECAUSE IT JUST
REALLY BOTHERS...
MOM, LOOK OVER THERE. I
THINK THE LORELAI LOOK IS BACK
(Rory) AND IT'S IN VELVET.
SO, HAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THE LIVING-ROOM/RECEPTION AREA
MIGHT BE A NICE PLACE TO START.
I REALLY NEED TO SHOOT THE EXTERIORS
FIRST. WE'RE ABOUT TO LOSE THE LIGHT.
OH, GREAT IDEA. LET ME TELL YOU WE
ARE VERY PROUD OF OUR EXTERIORS.
WHY DON'T I GET MICHEL TO SHOW
YOU OUTSIDE AND HELP YOU SET UP?
OK.
(Michel) NO, NO, THIS
IS UNACCEPTABLE.
PUT YOUR SUPERVISOR
ON THE PHONE NOW.
NOW, RIGHT NOW.
HEY, EVERYTHING OK, MICHEL?
YES, EVERYTHING IS
FINE. LOTS OF SUNSHINE.
I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
I INSIST YOU DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS
BEFORE I GO OUT AND FIND
A STICK AND MAKE IT POINTY
AND COME AND FIND YOUR
CUBICLE AND POKE YOU VERY HARD.
HEY, TELL YOU WHAT, WHY DON'T I
JUST SHOW YOU OUTSIDE MYSELF?
OK.
(Michel) SURE, I'LL HOLD.
[people chattering]
[telephone ringing]
(man) COPY!
(man) YOU'RE GONNA
DO IT ON CONFERENCE?
(woman) FAX.
THAT'S A LOOK OF
GREAT DETERMINATION.
YES, I'M DETERMINED
TO FINISH THIS PIECE
BEFORE MY CAFFEINE
BUZZ WEARS OFF,
AND I HAVE ABOUT
30 SECONDS LEFT.
SO?
SO?
DID I SEE YOU ON STATE
STREET WITH... YEAH.
RIGHT.
SO YOU SAW ME ON
STATE STREET WITH...
YEP.
SO?
SO?
ARE WE STILL GOOD?
ABSOLUTELY.
REALLY?
LOGAN, WE BOTH AGREED, NO
STRINGS ATTACHED, REMEMBER?
I REMEMBER. I WAS CHECKING
TO SEE HOW WELL YOU REMEMBER.
I REMEMBER PERFECTLY.
OK, THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR, SO...
WE'RE NOT GONNA DO THE
"SO" THING AGAIN, ARE WE?
NO, PROMISE, NO MORE SO'S.
WOULD YOU TAKE AN "UM"?
DEPENDS. WHERE'S IT LEADING?
UM, ARE YOU BUSY OR DO YOU FEEL
LIKE GRABBING A CUP OF COFFEE?
WHY? DO YOU HAVE THE MASTER
KEY TO A STARBUCKS OR SOMETHING?
NAH, I JUST THOUGHT
WE'D WALK IN AND PAY.
WOW. OLD SCHOOL.
SURE, LET'S GO.
OK, LET'S GO.
(Lorelai) YEAH, THERE, RIGHT
THERE. HOW'S IT LOOKING, HAL?
I THINK WE'RE GOOD
WITH THE FLOWERS.
LET'S START CLEARING
EVERYONE OUT OF THERE.
HOW'S IT GOING?
I THINK WE'RE GETTING
READY TO SHOOT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WELL, JUST IN CASE HE DOESN'T HAVE
TIME TO GET A SHOT OF THE KITCHEN
PEOPLE WILL GET TO SEE THE FOOD.
YOU'RE INSANE. OK, WE'RE READY.
(Michel) WELL, TRY
SOMETHING ELSE.
I DON'T CARE, JUST STOP IT.
BLOCK IT WITH YOUR BODY,
TIANANMEN SQUARE, BE A HERO.
UH, MICHEL, WHAT'S WRONG? I
WILL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG.
NED THE BELLMAN IS
WRONG. HE'S USELESS.
I GAVE HIM SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS,
AND HE IGNORED THEM.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
(Michel) NO, NO, NO, NO.
DO NOT DRIVE THAT HERE.
IT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO
ARRIVE FOR 2 MORE DAYS.
(Lorelai) SERIOUSLY,
WHAT IS THAT?
(Michel) MY OVER $100,000
IN CASH AND PRIZES.
THAT'S WHAT YOU WON?
THAT AND MANY BOXES OF
SOME SORT OF INSTANT-RICE DISH
THAT I HAVE YET TO
FEEL A NEED TO SAMPLE.
[coughing]
[clearing throat]
ARE YOU MICHEL GERARD? YES.
WELL, MICHEL GERARD, I'M PLEASED TO
PRESENT YOU WITH YOUR MOTOR HOME.
STEP ON INSIDE, AND I'LL SHOW
YOU HOW EVERYTHING WORKS.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW IT
WORKS. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR AT ALL.
MICHEL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
AFTER I WON THIS MONSTROSITY,
I TOLD THEM I DO NOT WANT IT.
I WANTED THE CASH.
BUT THEY SAID THEY WOULD ONLY
GIVE ME HALF OF WHAT IT WAS WORTH.
YEAH, JACKSON'S COUSIN WON A
WASHER-DRYER ON THE $25,000 PYRAMID
(Sookie) BUT HE DECIDED TO
TAKE HALF THE CASH VALUE
BECAUSE HE LIKES TO GO TO THE
LAUNDROMAT TO PICK UP WOMEN.
WELL, I'M NOT JACKSON'S COUSIN.
I HAVE ALL OF MY CHROMOSOMES.
AND I DON'T WANT HALF
OF THE CASH VALUE.
I WANT THE ENTIRE $100,000 THAT
WAS FLASHING UNDER MY FACE.
EXCUSE ME. DO YOU WANT TO
KNOW HOW TO USE IT OR NOT?
BECAUSE THE LEVELING
JACKS CAN BE A LITTLE TRICKY.
NO, I DO NOT WANT TO
KNOW HOW TO USE IT!
OK, ENJOY YOUR DAY.
DROP DEAD AND WE'LL DISCUSS IT.
THEY TOLD ME I HAD A WEEK
BEFORE THEY WERE DELIVERING IT.
I PUT AN AD ON-LINE, AND
I WAS GOING TO SELL IT.
AND THEN I GET A CALL IT IS
COMING, AND IT HAS NOT BEEN A WEEK.
OH, WAIT. SIR, COULD I PAY YOU TO
JUST TAKE THIS AWAY FOR AN HOUR
YOU KNOW, DRIVE IT
AROUND, SHOW IT THE SIGHTS?
SORRY, ONCE WE DELIVER THE
KEYS, IT'S OUT OF OUR HANDS.
OH, LORELAI?
UH, TAKING CARE OF IT, HAL.
BY THE TIME ALL
THIS DUST CLEARS,
I'M AFRAID WE'LL HAVE
LOST THE LIGHT ANYWAY.
NO, NO. WE'RE NOT
LOSING THE LIGHT.
WE'LL KEEP THE LIGHT
AND LOSE THE DUST.
SOOKIE, GET THE DUSTBUSTERS.
MICHEL, MOVE THIS THING.
[birds chirping]
A SQUIRREL GOT THE ROAST.
MICHEL.
I DON'T KNOW HOW IT WORKS.
(Lorelai) FIGURE IT OUT.
YOU FIGURE IT OUT.
IT'S LIKE THE SPACE
SHUTTLE IN HERE.
OK, WE'RE DONE HERE. WHAT? NO!
LOOK, IT'S TOO LATE.
I CAN TAKE SOME INTERIOR
SHOTS JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT.
OH, SURE. SOOKIE, WHY DON'T
YOU SHOW HIM THE KITCHEN?
REALLY? GREAT. FOLLOW ME.
[car door closing]
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
HAD YOUR MOTOR HOME
DELIVERED HERE,
TO THE INN, TODAY.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A WEEK.
YOU KNOW, MICHEL, I KNOW THE
WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU,
AND WE ALL HAVE
TO UNDERSTAND THAT
BUT THIS WAS IMPORTANT.
I DIDN'T THINK IT
WAS COMING TODAY.
YOU DIDN'T THINK, PERIOD.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T ALWAYS EXPECT
YOU TO BE A GREAT HELP AROUND HERE
BUT HOW ABOUT NOT BEING A
SUPER-COLOSSAL HINDRANCE TO US ALL, OK?
[door opening]
[door closing]
[people chattering]
BUSINESS OR PLEASURE?
"SOCIAL ORIGINS OF
DICTATORSHIP AND DEMOCRACY:
LORD AND PEASANT IN THE
MAKING OF THE MODERN WORLD."
OH, PLEASURE. HAVE YOU READ IT?
I'M WAITING FOR THE
FILM TO COME OUT.
YEAH, I KNOW. I HEARD RENEE
ZELLWEGER'S GAINING A TON OF WEIGHT
TO PLAY THE PEASANT.
LISTEN, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'RE
DOING ANYTHING TOMORROW NIGHT.
OH, UH, I DON'T KNOW. WHY?
IT'S FINN'S BIRTHDAY.
HE'S HAVING A PARTY.
LOTS OF BOOZE, NO FOOD
WHATSOEVER. AH, THAT FINN.
I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU'D LIKE TO GO.
WITH YOU? THAT
WAS THE PLAN, YES.
OH.
WELL, UH, SURE.
YES? YES, I'D LOVE TO.
UM, LET'S CELEBRATE
ANOTHER YEAR OF FINN.
EXCELLENT. NOW, IT'S THEMED.
ANYTHING QUENTIN
TARANTINO IS ACCEPTABLE
AND I'LL PICK YOU UP AT
YOUR ROOM AROUND 9:00.
SOUNDS GOOD. DOES IT?
NOW HOW ABOUT THAT?
HMM!
[sighs]
[birds chirping]
HEY, SOOKIE, HAVE
YOU SEEN MICHEL?
HE WAS ARRANGING A CAR TO
TAKE THE MARTINS TO FOXWOODS.
I THINK HE'S SHOWING SOME
PEOPLE THE MOTOR HOME.
NOW?
HE ASKED ME IF IT WAS OK.
(Sookie) I TOLD HIM
IT WAS OK. IS IT OKAY?
YEAH, IT'S OK, BUT WHY
DIDN'T HE JUST ASK ME?
I THINK HE'S LITTLE
AFRAID OF YOU.
AFRAID OF ME, OF KITTEN?
WAS I REALLY THAT
MEAN? YOU WERE UPSET.
I WAS MEAN. YOU KNOW
MICHEL, HE LIKES TO DISH IT OUT
BUT HE'S EXTREMELY SENSITIVE
WHEN YOU GIVE IT BACK.
YEAH, I GUESS. YOU
CAN'T EVEN TEASE HIM.
HE NEVER WORE THOSE
RED COWBOY BOOTS AGAIN.
[groans] I REMEMBER.
I'M SURE HE'LL GET OVER
IT. YOU KNOW MICHEL.
YEAH. HEY, COULD YOU ASK EDDIE
TO GET THE MARTINS A CAR? HMM?
YOU GOT IT.
WHAT'S THE GAS MILEAGE LIKE?
HMM? THE GAS MILEAGE?
IT'S 5,000 POUNDS
OF METAL ON WHEELS.
I'M SURE THE
MILEAGE IS FABULOUS.
WOULD YOU TAKE
$20,000 FOR IT? $20,000?
BUT IT'S BRAND-NEW, AND...
[groans] WHATEVER.
$20,000, SURE. YOU GOT A CHECK?
(Lorelai) WHOA... WHOA... WHOA.
HI. WHAT MICHEL
MEANS TO SAY IS THAT
HE WOULD HAPPILY
ENTERTAIN ALL OFFERS
FOR THIS TOP-OF-THE-LINE,
STREAMLINED, BEAUTIFUL MOTOR HOME.
I MEAN, LOOK AT IT. I
JUST MAY BUY IT MYSELF.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OFFER $30,000.
HEY, HAS EVERYONE
SEEN INSIDE THIS BABY?
BECAUSE IF YOU HAVEN'T,
YOU NEED TO, SERIOUSLY.
AND... AND... AND WHILE
YOU'RE TAKING A LOOK,
PLEASE NOTE THE PLUSH,
SOIL-AND-STAIN-RESISTANT
WALL-TO-WALL WALLPAPER
THAT ACCENTS THE BEAUTIFUL
MAPLE-ISH PANELING. HUH?
YEAH.
(man) OH, THAT'S FABULOUS.
$20,000? YOU'RE JUST
GIVING THIS THING AWAY.
THAT'S WHAT I WAS TOLD TO DO. I DIDN'T
KNOW ABOUT THE "MAPLE-ISH PANELING."
MICHEL, YOU CAN'T SELL
THIS THING FOR $20,000.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
APPARENTLY, I'M NOT.
APPARENTLY, I NEVER THINK.
OK, OK. I'M SORRY. WHATEVER.
MICHEL, I WAS JUST TENSE
ABOUT THE PHOTO SHOOT
AND I SAID THINGS I
SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID.
YOU KNOW I DIDN'T
MEAN THEM, RIGHT?
I DO NOT KNOW THAT AT ALL.
I THINK YOU DO.
I THINK YOU KNOW THIS INN
COULD NOT RUN WITHOUT YOU
AND I THINK YOU KNOW I KNOW THIS
INN COULD NOT RUN WITHOUT YOU.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR PHOTO
SHOOT? I RUINED IT FOR YOU, NO?
WE RESCHEDULED THE PHOTO
SHOOT. EVERYTHING'S FINE.
I COULD HAVE TOLD
YOU THEY'D RESCHEDULE.
EVERYTHING WITH
YOU IS SO DRAMATIC.
SO, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO HERE?
[sighing] WELL, I JUST
WANT THE THING GONE.
MICHEL, YOU HAD $100,000
FLASH UNDER YOUR FACE
AND THE ENTIRE WORLD SAW IT.
NOW, COME ON, GO
GET YOUR MONEY. WELL...
SERIOUSLY, MICHEL, THE
RUBE WITH THE CROSSED EYES
AND THE BOLO TIE, I
SAY THAT'S YOUR MAN.
HE DOES LOOK STUPID, DOESN'T HE?
YEAH, AND FAMILIAR
WITH THE, UH, WAYS
OF HOOKING UP THINGS
TO LOCAL SEWER LINES.
HUH, GO GET HIM.
YES, I'LL ZERO IN ON HIM.
IF WORSE COMES TO WORST
THE WOMAN WITH THE ELASTIC-WAIST
JEANS SHOULD BE A NICE BACKUP.
ATTABOY.
YOU KNOW, IF I HOLD OUT, MAYBE I
CAN GET $120,000... JUST SELL THE THING.
RIGHT.
[telephone ringing]
WELL? (Lorelai)
IT'S TOO SPARKLY.
IT'S NOT TOO SPARKLY.
I LOOK LIKE A CHANDELIER.
WHAT SHOES ARE YOU
WEARING? THE PINK PUMPS.
I LIKE THOSE.
ARE THEY A LITTLE
TOO "COME AND GET IT"?
DON'T YOU WANT HIM TO
COME AND GET IT? UH, YES,
BUT I WANT IT TO BE HIS
IDEA TO COME AND GET IT.
IT'S NOT THE SAME IF THE SHOES
TELL HIM TO COME AND GET IT.
I REALLY WANT TO STOP
SAYING, "COME AND GET IT."
FINE. I HAVE TO GET READY.
GOING OUT? AS A MATTER OF
FACT, I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT.
LOGAN?
NO, ROBERT.
WHO'S ROBERT? HE'S A FRIEND.
HAVE I MET THIS R-ROBERT?
NO, YOU HAVE NOT
MET THIS ROBERT.
WHAT'S HIS LAST NAME? WHY?
DO YOU THINK I'M MAKING HIM UP?
I JUST WONDERED IF I EVER
HEARD YOU MENTION HIM BEFORE.
UM, HE'S JUST A GUY I KNOW AT
YALE, AND THERE'S A PARTY TONIGHT
FOR ANOTHER GUY I KNOW AT YALE,
AND ROBERT GRIMALDI
ASKED ME TO GO
SO I AM GOING TO GO.
SO, DOES THIS MEAN
IT'S OVER WITH LOGAN?
NOPE, IT JUST MEANS THAT
TONIGHT I'M GOING OUT WITH ROBERT.
AND YOU LIKE THIS ROBERT,
RIGHT? RIGHT. YOU KNOW,
THE PARTY'S A QUENTIN
TARANTINO-THEMED
PARTY, AND YOU HAVE
TO WEAR COSTUMES
SO I'M GOING AS GOGO.
BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE SKIRT.
AND NO OTHER IDEAS.
CLUELESSNESS IS THE MOTHER
OF INVENTION. CALL ME AFTER.
I WILL DO THAT. [grunting]
THIS DRESS IS TOO SLUTTY.
THE DRESS IS FINE.
THE PERSON IN IT, HOWEVER...
YOU'RE BREAKING UP. THE... THE...
THE HOUSE IS GOING THROUGH A TUNNEL.
YOU'RE BREAKING UP.
[imitating electronic static]
[cell phone beeps]
OH, I WAS GONNA...
[laughing] I JUST
HEARD THE CAR, SO I...
NO, BUT I ALWAYS...
I KNOW. I SHOULD HAVE...
NO, I SHOULD HAVE. NO.
OK, THIS IS STUPID. YES, IT IS.
[clearing throat] IT'S NOT LIKE
WE'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.
WE HAVE. AND SUCCESSFULLY.
I MADE IT TO THE DOOR.
I MADE IT TO THE CAR.
[sighs]
HEY.
HEY.
SO, I THOUGHT WE'D
GO TO MARINO'S.
YOU LIKE MARINO'S, RIGHT? MMM.
[crickets chirruping]
WHAT IS THIS? WHAT?
REGGAE FEVER? SO?
WHEN DID YOU BUY THIS?
WHERE DID YOU BUY THIS?
WHY DID YOU BUY THIS?
I WAS AT THE GAS
STATION LAST WEEK.
IT WAS AT THE REGISTER.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
THE BIG DEAL IS,
IT'S REGGAE FEVER.
I KNOW. WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE
MIRROR DO YOU SEE REGGAE FEVER?
IT WAS CHEAP.
"JA GLORY BY TOOTS BAMBADA
"LIVELY UP YOURSELF
BY THE FAMILY ZIGZAG
"LET YOUR YA BE
YA BY RANKING ROY."
WHAT ELSE AM I
GONNA FIND IN HERE?
GANJA AND A
YELLOW-GREEN-RED KNIT CAP?
I BOUGHT A CD.
I DIDN'T ADOPT THE ENTIRE
RASTAFARIAN CULTURE.
THIS IS SO WEIRD.
I MEAN, TO THINK THERE WAS
THIS WHOLE CHUNK OF TIME
WHEN WE WEREN'T TOGETHER, WE
WERE LIVING TOTALLY SEPARATE LIVES.
I WAS JUST WORKING LIKE CRAZY
AND YOU WERE RUNNING
AROUND AND BUYING REGGAE CDS.
ONE CD. ONE.
I JUST HATE THAT WE WERE APART.
YEAH, WASN'T TOO
FOND OF IT MYSELF.
YEAH, ALL I CAN SAY IS, YOU'RE
LUCKY I'M BACK IN YOUR LIFE
BECAUSE CLEARLY YOU
WERE LOST WITHOUT ME.
AND IT'S A MIRACLE
YOU'RE EVEN STILL ALIVE.
RIGHT?
YOU BET.
[car engine starting]
♪ JOKERS TO THE
RIGHT HERE I AM ♪
♪ STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU ♪
NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON.
OH, NO, THANKS.
I THINK I'M GONNA TRY TO GET
THROUGH THE DOORWAY FIRST.
HUH, NOVEL APPROACH.
YOU'RE GONNA BE
AN INTERESTING DATE.
ROBERT. WHAT ARE YOU?
DEAD EXTRA NUMBER 2.
BRILLIANT, MY FRIEND.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FINN.
YOU OWE ME $40.
MAYBE FOR MY BIRTHDAY
YOU'LL FORGIVE ME THAT.
DOES YOUR FATHER HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT A TOLL HIS CROSS-DRESSING
TOOK ON YOUR PSYCHE?
THAT WAS YOUR FATHER, FINN.
UH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
MY GOD, THAT EXPLAINS A LOT.
DO I KNOW YOU? (Robert)
RORY GILMORE, FINN.
PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. ALL RIGHT,
CHILDREN, DRINK AND BE MERRY
FOR TOMORROW WE WILL ALL
BE IN A GREAT DEAL OF PAIN.
THANK YOU, DARLING.
YOUR NAME AND YOUR PHONE
NUMBER WOULD ALSO BE APPRECIATED.
FINN'S QUITE AN
ORIGINAL. YES, HE IS.
HAVE I TOLD YOU I
LIKE YOUR COSTUME?
(Rory) NO, YOU DIDN'T.
ALL RIGHT, DID THAT COUNT, OR ARE
YOU EXPECTING ME TO SAY IT AGAIN?
I THINK WE'RE GOOD.
LET'S GET A DRINK.
OH, HEY, COLIN,
WHERE'S YOUR DATE?
I WENT TO PICK HER
UP, THE DOOR OPENS,
AND SHE'S DRESSED
LIKE MIRA SORVINO.
HOW DO YOU DRESS
LIKE MIRA SORVINO?
YOU HAVE BLOND HAIR AND A NAME
TAG THAT SAYS, "MIRA SORVINO."
I JUST TURNED AROUND AND LEFT.
WELL, WELL, WELL.
THE GANG'S ALL HERE.
ROBERT, GOOD TO
SEE YOU. HELLO, LOGAN.
RORY, I LIKE THE
COSTUME. I LIKE YOURS, TOO.
THIS IS WHITNEY. WHITNEY,
ROBERT, RORY. YOU KNOW COLIN.
HI. WHITNEY, IS YOUR
FRIEND JOSIE HERE?
YEAH, SHE'S OVER THERE WITH THE
GUY DRESSED LIKE HARVEY WEINSTEIN.
(Colin) PERFECT. I'LL SEE YOU
LATER. LEAVE HER ALONE, COLIN.
YES, YES, OF COURSE.
SO, GOOD PARTY?
SEEMS LIKE IT.
MUSIC'S COOL. VERY COOL.
WELL, WE'RE JUST HEADING OVER TO
THE BAR. CAN WE GET YOU 2 ANYTHING?
NO, WE'RE JUST GONNA
TAKE A LOOK AROUND.
OK, WE'LL CATCH YOU LATER.
SOUNDS GOOD.
HEY, ROBERT? YES?
WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME?
♪ [reggae music playing]
OH, MY GOD, TURN THAT OFF.
GETTING TO YOU, HUH?
THEY KEEP PLAYING THAT SAME
SONG OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU.
THAT WAS NOT THE SAME SONG.
OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE
KIDDING. MMM-MMM.
[rustling] WHAT WAS THAT?
I DON'T KNOW. SOUNDS LIKE
IT CAME FROM THE GARAGE.
THERE'S SOMEONE IN MY GARAGE?
[woman giggling]
WEIRD TIME FOR
GARDENING, ISN'T IT?
COULD BE, LIKE, A RACCOON.
OH, HEY, DON'T
SHOVEL THE RACCOON.
JUST STAY BACK, WILL YOU?
LUKE, YOU CAN'T HURT A RACCOON.
THEY'RE CUTE. THEY HAVE FACE
MASKS LIKE LITTLE FURRY BURGLARS.
AND SHARP TEETH THAT CHEW
THROUGH YOUR WIRING, AND RABIES.
LUKE. I'M NOT GONNA
HIT IT. I'M GONNA SCARE IT.
HEY, WHY DON'T YOU PLAY
IT YOUR REGGAE FEVER?
[creaking]
[snoring]
DO YOU SEE IT? SHH.
[grunting]
IT'S ONE HELL OF A RACCOON.
SHOVEL UP. SHOVEL UP. SHOVEL UP.
[snoring]
(Lorelai) I PROBABLY SHOULD BE
MORE SURPRISED THAN I AM, RIGHT?
KIRK, WAKE UP.
AND HE'S NAKED.
OH, KIRK. GEEZ. WHERE AM I?
(Lorelai) YOU'RE IN MY HOUSE,
KIRK. YOU'RE IN MY BOAT, KIRK.
I'M EXPOSED. WE KNOW, KIRK.
LET'S DO SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT, HUH, KIRK?
I'M GOOD NOW.
KIRK, WHAT YOU DOING HERE?
I LEFT MOTHER'S. NO.
DID YOU HAVE A FIGHT?
DID SHE TAKE AWAY YOUR
BEACH BOYS ALBUM AGAIN?
NO, I JUST GOT SO EXCITED ABOUT
THE THOUGHT OF A
NEW LIFE, YOU KNOW,
OF STRIKING OUT ON MY
OWN AND BEING MY OWN MAN.
RIGHT, LUKE?
"RIGHT, LUKE?"
(Kirk) SO I DID IT.
I PACKED MY CLOTHES, AND
I GAVE MY MOTHER MY KEY
AND I SAID GOODBYE, AND I LEFT.
OH, KIRK, THAT'S A BIG
DEAL, YOU LEAVING LIKE THAT.
I KNOW IT IS, BUT LUKE
EXPLAINED TO ME THAT
IF I REALLY WANT TO MOVE
TO THE NEXT LEVEL WITH LULU,
AND HAVE A REAL GROWN-UP RELATIONSHIP
WITH SLEEPOVERS AND EVERYTHING,
THEN I HAD TO GET OUT.
I DON'T THINK THAT'S
EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.
OH, YES, IT WAS, AND I
FELT REALLY GOOD ABOUT IT
UNTIL I REALIZED THAT
I HAD NO PLACE TO GO.
I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE
FOUND AN APARTMENT FIRST.
(Luke) PROBABLY.
YOU CAN STAY IN RORY'S ROOM.
REALLY? REALLY?
JUST FOR TONIGHT.
WE'LL FIND YOU
SOMEPLACE TOMORROW.
OK.
YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'VE
GOT A RACCOON IN HERE.
JUST GO ON IN THE HOUSE, KIRK.
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
KIRK WAS AT THE
DINER TALKING ABOUT
HOW HE WISHED HOW
HE AND LULU HAD WHAT
WE HAVE, AND I JUST MENTIONED...
ARE YOU INSANE? EVERYBODY KNOWS
YOU CAN'T MENTION
ANYTHING TO KIRK.
I WAS CORNERED. I WAS TIRED.
I WANTED TO GO TO SLEEP.
WELL, NOW WE HAVE TO GO IN
THERE AND TAKE CARE OF HIM.
HE IS NOW OUR RESPONSIBILITY.
BUT... UH-UH,
POTTERY BARN, BABY.
YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT.
[groaning] OH, JEEZ.
[sighing]
♪ [band playing music]
MY ENTIRE GOAL IN LIFE
IS TO OUTLIVE MY BROTHER,
INHERIT THE FAMILY FORTUNE, PUT
ALL MY SISTERS OUT ON THE STREET
AND LIVE AS
FRIVOLOUSLY AS POSSIBLE,
HAVE NUMEROUS WIVES,
THOUSANDS OF ILLEGITIMATE CHILDREN,
AND DIE COMPLETELY
ALONE, AND LEAVE EVERY CENT
TO A PARROT NAMED POLLY.
THAT'S YOUR ENTIRE GOAL IN LIFE?
EXCEPT FOR THE
NAME OF THE PARROT,
I STICK TO
EVERYTHING I JUST SAID.
YOU'RE A FASCINATING
SPECIMEN, ROBERT.
WELL, JOSIE'S A LESBIAN.
YOU STRUCK OUT, COLIN?
WHATEVER. IS LYDIA HERE?
YES. SHE'S HERE WITH
PATRICK, HER FIANCE.
GOD, I HATE THESE STUPID,
INCESTUOUS PARTIES.
IT'S THE SAME PEOPLE
OVER AND OVER.
WHO'S AS DRUNK AS I AM?
NO ONE SINCE SPENCER TRACY DIED.
FINN, ARE THERE ANY
INTERESTING WOMEN HERE AT ALL?
HAVE YOU TRIED JOSIE?
I'M GETTING A DRINK.
ALL RIGHTY. I HAVE TO
GO MAKE THE ROUNDS.
HAVE I MET YOU YET?
SEVERAL TIMES.
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
SO, HOW ABOUT THAT DRINK?
NOTHING TOO STRONG.
SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
HEY, ACE, HAVING A GOOD TIME?
I AM, THANKS.
GOOD. THAT'S GOOD. ME, TOO.
I'M HAVING A GOOD TIME, TOO.
GOOD.
YES, IT IS GOOD.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU KNEW ROBERT.
I MET HIM AT THE LIFE AND
DEATH BRIGADE GATHERING.
AND THE POKER GAME. OH, RIGHT.
RIGHT, HE MUST HAVE
MADE QUITE AN IMPRESSION.
HE JUST ASKED ME
OUT IS ALL. SURE.
HE'S KIND OF A JERK. EXCUSE ME?
ROBERT. HE'S KIND OF A JERK.
HAVE YOU NOTICED
HE'S KIND OF A JERK?
NOPE. HUH.
NIGHT'S YOUNG. OK, COME ON.
WHERE ARE WE GOING? LOGAN?
YOU LOOK GREAT.
THANK YOU.
LOGAN, STOP.
RIGHT. SO, HOW YOU BEEN?
I'VE BEEN FINE.
GOOD. SCHOOL'S GOOD?
SCHOOL'S HARD.
WELL, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HARD.
IT'S GROOMING YOU FOR LIFE.
MAKING YOU AN
UPSTANDING CITIZEN.
GOD-FEARING CHRISTIAN.
HABITUAL RECYCLER.
[Rory moans]
WE CAN'T DO THIS HERE, LOGAN.
YOU'RE RIGHT. LET'S GO.
GO WHERE? YOUR PLACE, MY PLACE.
LET'S TAKE A TRAIN TO NEW YORK,
SPEND THE NIGHT IN THE PLAZA.
WE CAN'T JUST
LEAVE. WE HAVE DATES.
I DON'T LIKE THIS. LIKE WHAT?
YOU HERE WITH ROBERT.
YOU'RE HERE WITH WHITNEY.
I KNOW. SO, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
THE PROBLEM IS YOU'RE HERE
WITH ROBERT, AND IT'S BOTHERING ME.
I DON'T LIKE THAT
IT'S BOTHERING ME.
SORRY. DO YOU WANT US TO LEAVE?
NO, I WANT US TO
LEAVE, YOU AND ME.
I CAN'T DO THAT.
YOU WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT
WITH ROBERT, INSTEAD OF ME?
I CAME HERE WITH
ROBERT. SO DUMP ROBERT.
I HATE ROBERT. HE'S YOUR FRIEND.
SO WHAT? I STILL HATE HIM.
LOGAN, YOU'RE
THE ONE WHO SAID...
I KNOW WHAT I SAID.
OK, THEN, I HAVE TO GO. I HAVE A
DATE. ENJOY THE REST OF THE PARTY.
♪ IT WAS THERE WHERE PIERRE WAS
WEDDED TO THE LOVELY MADEMOISELLE ♪
♪ "C'EST LA VIE,"
SAY THE OLD FOLKS ♪
♪ IT GOES TO SHOW
YOU NEVER CAN TELL ♪
THERE'S NOTHING IN
HERE BUT ICE CREAM,
CANDY BARS, COOKIE
DOUGH, CANNED FROSTING.
WHY ARE YOU NOT 450 POUNDS?
SCIENTISTS CALL IT
THE LORELAI PARADOX.
WHO YOU CALLING? NO ONE.
JUST SEEING IF RORY
LEFT A MESSAGE. OH.
WHO'S WASHING THOSE?
[groaning]
WHY, WAS SHE SUPPOSED
TO LEAVE A MESSAGE?
NO, I WAS JUST HOPING.
WE OUT OF PLASTIC?
[sighing] WHY WERE YOU HOPING?
EVERYTHING OK WITH HER?
YEAH, SHE JUST HAD A DATE
TONIGHT. GET 4. THOSE TEND TO BREAK.
[groaning]
UH, IS SHE OUT WITH
THAT LOGAN KID?
NO, ROBERT.
WHO'S ROBERT? I KNOW
NOTHING ABOUT HIM
EXCEPT HIS LAST
NAME IS GRIMALDI.
WHEN DID SHE BREAK
UP WITH LOGAN?
SHE DIDN'T.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IT'S COLLEGE.
WHAT THE HELL'S THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS, "BUTT OUT, BACK OFF,
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS."
OH. RORY SUDDENLY
DECIDED SHE'S "DATING GIRL."
THAT'S OK, RIGHT? ISN'T THAT
WHAT KIDS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO?
IT'S JUST... IT'S NOT RORY.
I DON'T THINK IT'S WHAT
IS GONNA MAKE HER HAPPY.
IT SEEMS WRONG FOR HER.
YOU SAID SOMETHING TO HER? NO.
SHE'S BEEN SO CHATTY LATELY
WANTING TO BE ABLE TO TALK
ABOUT LOGAN AND HER LIFE, SO...
NOW I JUST DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO DO.
YOU TALK BACK.
I AM, BUT I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO
BE REALLY CAREFUL WHAT I SAY.
OH, COME ON. THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
SHE'S NOT AT HOME ANYMORE.
SHE'S ON HER OWN.
DOESN'T MATTER.
IT MATTERS A LITTLE.
YOU KNOW, THERE HAVE BEEN
VERY FEW TIMES IN OUR RELATIONSHIP
WHEN I EVER PLAYED THE MOM CARD
BUT I ALWAYS HAD IT
THERE IN MY BACK POCKET.
AND WHEN I USED
IT, SHE HAD TO HEAR
AND TAKE IT BECAUSE
SHE LIVED HERE.
AND EVEN IF SHE DIDN'T LIKE
IT OR EVEN IF SHE GOT MAD,
THE WORST THAT WOULD HAPPEN
IS SHE WOULD RUN INTO HER ROOM
AND SLAM THE DOOR AND BLAST
THE JAM. BUT THEN IN THE MORNING,
I CONTROLLED THE BATHROOM,
AND THE... AND THE POP-TARTS
AND SHE HAD TO DEAL WITH ME.
EVENTUALLY, WE'D MAKE UP,
AND IT WAS OVER. BUT NOW...
NOTHING'S DIFFERENT.
OF COURSE IT'S DIFFERENT.
SHE'S ON HER OWN. SHE'S
MAKING HER OWN DECISIONS.
MY MOM CARD'S LOOKING
A LITTLE FLIMSIER,
AND I DON'T KNOW HOW
MUCH TO SAY TO HER.
IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR
IT, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO TAKE IT.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO
CALL OR COME HOME.
SHE'LL CALL. SHE'LL COME HOME.
YEAH, I HOPE SO. I DON'T KNOW.
[door closing]
[dog barking]
DO WE LOCK THE FRONT DOOR?
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
(Luke) KIRK! GET
BACK HERE, KIRK.
[door closing]
WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU
BESIDES THE OBVIOUS
LACK OF FASHION SENSE?
WHAT ARE YOU...
I TOLD YOU TO GET BACK
TOGETHER WITH LORELAI.
I TOLD YOU EXACTLY WHAT TO
DO AND EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY.
WHAT DO YOU NEED, A CHEAT SHEET?
EMILY, I...
(Emily) SOME FLASH CARDS, SOME
SESAME STREET CHARACTERS
TO SING A SONG ABOUT IT? LOOK.
DO YOU THINK IT WAS EASY FOR
ME TO COME TO YOU LIKE THAT?
DO YOU THINK I ENJOYED IT?
LIKE I WAS JUST SITTING
AROUND MY HOUSE,
THINKING, "HMM, WHAT
SHALL I DO TONIGHT?
"I KNOW. I CAN DRIVE
TO STARS HOLLOW
AND HUMILIATE MYSELF AT
THE LOCAL GREASY SPOON."
OK, I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF...
I DON'T CARE WHAT
YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF!
MY FAMILY IS BEING TORN APART,
BECAUSE, FOR SOME REASON
YOU AREN'T CAPABLE OF
TAKING SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS
AND PUTTING YOUR
RELATIONSHIP BACK TOGETHER!
[cell phone ringing]
HELLO?
(Emily) JUST BECAUSE
YOU RUN A DINER
AND HAVE MASTERED THE
ART OF THE BLANK STARE
DOES NOT MEAN IT'S
GOING TO WORK WITH ME!
[groans]
(Emily) AND RICHARD WENT
THROUGH A GREAT DEAL OF TROUBLE
TO SET THE WHOLE THING UP
AND YOU NEVER EVEN
CALLED HERB SMITH.
APPARENTLY, YOU
CAN'T FOLLOW THROUGH
WITH ANYTHING, NOT EVEN A RAZOR!
MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I'M HAVING WHAT I'M
SURE WILL TURN OUT TO BE
YET ANOTHER FRUITLESS
CONVERSATION WITH THIS MAN.
I'M SORRY, LUKE. I'M REALLY,
REALLY SORRY. IT'S OK.
MOM, GO HOME. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT
TO BARGE IN HERE
AND CAUSE A SCENE.
I HAVE SOMETHING I WANT TO SAY.
NO. WE DON'T WANT TO
HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY.
WE JUST WANT YOU TO
PLEASE BUTT OUT OF OUR LIVES.
OUR LIVES? SO,
THERE'S AN "OUR LIVES"?
ARE YOU 2 BACK
TOGETHER? YES. WE ARE.
SO YOU DID GO TO HER,
JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU TO.
WE GOT BACK TOGETHER BECAUSE
WE WANTED TO GET BACK TOGETHER.
THEN I SIMPLY DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IF YOU'RE TOGETHER,
THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHY WON'T YOU COME
TO FRIDAY DINNER?
WHATEVER HAPPENED BETWEEN
THE 2 OF YOU, I OBVIOUSLY FIXED IT.
YOU FIXED IT? YOU BROKE IT.
JUST BECAUSE LUKE AND I FOUND
A WAY TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE
DOESN'T ERASE THE
FACT THAT IT HAPPENED.
WHAT I DID, I DID
OUT OF CONCERN.
OH, PLEASE.
AS YOUR MOTHER, I HAVE
THE RIGHT TO BE CONCERNED
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE TAKING YOUR LIFE DOWN
A COMPLETELY DISASTROUS PATH.
I HAD TO JUMP IN.
MOM! LORELAI!
PLEASE HEAR ME. IF I
WANT YOUR INPUT IN MY LIFE
IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR
FORM, I WILL ASK FOR IT.
UNTIL THEN, DO US ALL
A FAVOR AND SHUT UP!
[chimes ringing]
[door closing]
I GOT TO SAY, I'M SUDDENLY
A BIG FAN OF THE SPEED DIAL.
[cell phone ringing]
HEY, KID, WHAT'S GOING ON?
I JUST GOT A CALL FROM KIRK.
HE WANTED TO KNOW IF HE
COULD CRASH AT MY DORM.
OH, BOY. HOW DID
HE GET MY NUMBER?
HE PROBABLY GOT
IT OFF THE FRIDGE.
OK.
AND WHAT WAS KIRK
DOING NEAR OUR FRIDGE?
IT'S A LONG STORY. OK,
WELL, TELL ME LATER.
I WANT TO HEAR HOW THE
BACK-TOGETHER DATE WENT.
IT WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL.
DID HE LIKE THE DRESS?
THE DRESS WAS A HIT.
I TOLD YOU.
AND HOW WAS YOUR,
UH, DATE WITH ROBERT?
COMPLETELY INSANE.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE
THE EVENING I HAD.
OH, TELL ME.
SO, ROBERT AND I GET TO THE
PARTY, AND LOGAN WAS THERE.
AND AT FIRST, EVERYTHING
WAS COMPLETELY CAJ,
AND THEN AS THE EVENING WENT
ON, HE GOT MORE AND MORE JEALOUS.
OH, REALLY? OH, YEAH.
HE WANTED ME TO LEAVE
WITH HIM, BLOW OFF ROBERT.
AND DID YOU? NO, OF COURSE NOT.
I TOLD HIM THAT I
CAME WITH ROBERT
AND I WAS LEAVING WITH ROBERT.
AND THEN I WALKED
AWAY AND IT WAS GREAT.
SOUNDS GREAT.
AND SINCE THEN, BY THE WAY,
LOGAN HAS CALLED TWICE TODAY.
WE'RE GOING OUT TONIGHT AND WE'VE
ALREADY MADE PLANS FOR THIS WEEK.
COMPLETE AND TOTAL TURNAROUND.
WELL, SOUNDS LIKE ALL THE
BALLS ARE IN YOUR COURT OR...
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
YOU OK? YOU SOUND DOWN.
NO, NO, NO, I'M FINE. WHAT
ARE YOU GONNA WEAR TONIGHT?
I THOUGHT I'D GO WITH
THE 20-MINUTE SWEATER.
OH, CUTE.
(Michel) THE ANSWER IS NO.
LOOK, JERRY, I SOLD
YOU THE MOTOR HOME.
IT IS NOW YOURS.
I'M A VERY BUSY MAN.
I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR ALL THIS.
ALL RIGHT, FOR $20, I WILL
MEASURE THE SHOWER FOR YOU.
NO, THAT IS ON TOP OF THE $40 FOR THE
CUPBOARD SPACE AND THE PULLOUT TABLE.
WELL, I'M SORRY IF YOU'RE
FEELING RIPPED OFF.
I CAN CALL ELASTIC-PANTS LADY
AND SEE IF SHE'D LIKE TO TAKE
THE MOTOR HOME OFF YOUR HANDS.
I THOUGHT SO. HOLD ON.
[measuring tape clicking]
[mumbling]
YOUR RIBBONS HERE.
THAT'S RIGHT,
FOLKS. HERE YOU GO.
THANK YOU, SIR. RIGHT
IN THE BOX, MA'AM.
RIBBONS HERE! RETURN
YOUR RIBBONS HERE!
KIRK, STOP THAT.
CAN'T STOP YET, LUKE.
HAVEN'T GOT THEM ALL YET.
I MEAN IT. PUT THE BOX AWAY.
LUKE, YOU AND LORELAI
HAVE RECONCILED.
I KNOW, KIRK, I WAS THERE.
AND SINCE YOU TWO HAVE
RECONCILED, IT'S ONLY APPROPRIATE
THAT THE CITIZENS
OF STARS HOLLOW
TAKE OFF THEIR PINS
AND START TO HEAL.
IN MY CASE, LITERALLY. I CAUGHT
ABOUT AN INCH OF CHEST FLESH
WITH THIS SHARP LITTLE SUCKER.
KIRK... LULU, HEY!
NO, KIRK. I LIKE MY RIBBON!
IT'S PINK. I LIKE PINK!
THIS IS BIGGER THAN
YOUR LOVE OF PINK!
NO!
LULU!
LULU, GET BACK HERE! LULU!
WOW! DID YOU SEE THAT?
(Luke) YOU KNOW, IF
SOMEONE OPENED A STORE
IN THIS TOWN SELLING
GIANT BUTTERFLY NETS,
THEY'D MAKE A FORTUNE.
COME ON, THE CRAZY
NEED LOVE, TOO.
SPEAKING OF WHICH, WELCOME BACK.
NICE TO BE HERE.
WANT SOME COFFEE?
OH, SAY THAT AGAIN SLOWER
AND WITH YOUR PANTS OFF.
WHAT'S THAT?
MY PRETTY, PRETTY FACE.
IT'S A WESTON'S COFFEE CUP.
IS IT?
YOU BRING AN ENEMY COFFEE CUP IN
HERE ON THE DAY OF OUR RECONCILIATION.
AT LEAST I DIDN'T ASK
YOU FOR A FAVOR ON THIS,
THE DAY OF YOUR
DAUGHTER'S WEDDING.
GET THAT COFFEE OUT OF HERE.
THIS IS NOT COFFEE.
THIS IS A
MOCHA-CHOCOLATE-CARAMEL
SWIRLACCINO WITH
EXTRA WHIPPED CREAM.
THAT SOUNDS DISGUSTING.
IT IS, AND IF IT WAS
PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE
TO MAKE LOVE TO A HOT
BEVERAGE, THIS WOULD BE THE ONE.
SO APPARENTLY, I'VE
GOT COMPETITION.
NO, NO, NO, IT'S JUST A FLING.
I'LL FINALLY SPEND
THE NIGHT WITH IT,
BUT THEN WHEN I
SEE IT IN THE MORNING
WITH THE CARAMEL UNSWIRLED,
AND THE WHIPPED CREAM UNWHIPPED...
[scoffs] BYE-BYE.
[groaning]
MAN, THAT WAS HARD.
[people chattering]
[sighing]
SHE MUST HAVE STRETCHED FIRST.
♪ IF YOU'RE OUT ON THE ROAD ♪
♪ FEELING LONELY, AND SO COLD ♪
♪ ALL YOU HAVE TO
DO IS CALL MY NAME ♪
♪ AND I'LL BE THERE
ON THE NEXT TRAIN ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ WHERE YOU LEAD,
I WILL FOLLOW ♪
♪ ANYWHERE THAT YOU TELL ME TO ♪
♪ IF YOU NEED, YOU
NEED ME TO BE WITH YOU ♪
♪ I WILL FOLLOW WHERE YOU LEAD ♪
(Rory) SO JUDGING
FROM THE SNORES,
I'M GUESSING YOU
LOVE THE THEATER.
THAT WAS NOT A
SNORE, IT WAS A GROAN.
IT WAS NOT A PAINFUL PLAY.
ANY PLAY IS A
PAINFUL PLAY FOR ME.
THAT'S TOO BAD, BECAUSE
YOU'RE GONNA MISS OUT ON
SOME WONDERFUL THINGS.
YEAH, LIKE WHAT?
MY MOM TOOK ME TO SEE
CAROLINE, OR CHANGE IN NEW YORK,
TONY KUSHNER'S MUSICAL, AND IT WAS
THE MOST AMAZING THING WE EVER SAW.
TONY KUSHNER WROTE
ANGELS IN AMERICA.
I KNOW WHO TONY KUSHNER IS.
SO YOU'VE SEEN HIS PLAYS?
NO, MY MOM PLAYS CANASTA WITH
HIM EVERY MONTH HE'S IN TOWN.
TONY KUSHNER PLAYS
CANASTA WITH YOUR MOTHER?
BADLY, BUT, YES.
YOU HAVE A MAGICAL LIFE, HUNTZBERGER,
AND YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW IT.
SO, WHERE TO NEXT?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
MAHJONG WITH MAMET.
HOW'S ICE CREAM SOUND?
ICE CREAM SOUNDS GREAT.
THEN ICE CREAM IT IS.
WHOA, LOGAN, WHERE
ARE WE GOING? SLOW DOWN.
YOU SLOW DOWN, YOU DIE, ACE.
YEAH, YOU GO TOO FAST IN
HEELS, AND YOU KIND OF DIE ALSO.
WHAT ARE WE DOING?
[door shuts]
(Logan) WE'RE GETTING ICE CREAM.
BUT THE DINING HALL'S
CLOSED. WE'RE BREAKING IN.
THAT'S A VERY NEGATIVE
WAY TO LOOK AT IT.
HOW DO YOU HAVE A
KEY TO THE DINING HALL?
I KNOW A LOT OF VERY
POWERFUL LOCKSMITHS. MMM-HMM.
WHAT HAPPENS IF WE GET
CAUGHT? COULD WE GET SUSPENDED?
THEY CAN'T KICK YOU OUT OF
SCHOOL FOR THIS, CAN THEY?
HEY, RELAX, LOOK AROUND.
FOR TONIGHT, THIS IS ALL YOURS.
IT IS KIND OF COOL.
WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE KITCHEN.
WHOA, OH, I'VE NEVER SEEN THE CEREAL
STATION COMPLETELY FULL BEFORE.
I'M NEVER HERE EARLY ENOUGH.
I KNEW THEY HAD COCOA PUFFS.
THEN GO CRAZY, ACE.
NO, WE'RE GETTING ICE CREAM.
THERE'S NO RULE THAT SAYS YOU
CAN'T HAVE ICE CREAM AND CEREAL.
GO ON, GET YOUR COCOA PUFFS.
FIRST COCOA PUFFS OF THE DAY.
THIS IS A HISTORICAL MOMENT.
[chuckling] OK, NEXT
STOP, ICE CREAM.
MMM. WHAT'RE YOU DOING?
I'M LOOKING FOR
THE SWIPE MACHINE
SO I CAN DEDUCT POINTS
FROM MY MEAL PLAN.
YOU'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?
WELL, THE SCHOOL PAYS FOR
THE FOOD, AND... TRUST ME,
WITH ALL THE MONEY MY FAMILY
HAS DONATED TO THIS SCHOOL
THEY CAN AFFORD TO BE OUT
OF A FEW COCOA PUFFS. LET'S GO.
THIS IS FUN.
YOU'RE AN EASY GIRL TO PLEASE.
LET'S HIT THE KITCHEN.
ACE, COME ON.
I'M COMING.
LOOKS GREAT. OH, THAT... OK.
THANKS. THAT'S ENOUGH THERE.
JUST MAKE SURE YOU GET THE
STAIRS NOW. OH, NO, THOSE GO OUTSIDE.
ANACENCIA WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU.
OH, WHAT A SURPRISE. A PLATE
OF COOKIES ON THE COFFEE TABLE
TO MATCH THE BASKET OF
CUPCAKES ON THE RECEPTION DESK.
COME ON, I ALWAYS DO THIS.
NO, YOU ALWAYS DO THIS
WHEN A PHOTOGRAPHER FROM
AMERICAN TRAVEL MAGAZINE
IS COMING TO PHOTOGRAPH US FOR
(both) ONE OF THE TOP
10 INNS IN CONNECTICUT!
[exclaiming]
I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT
YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
YOU KNOW, I MOVED THE
FURNITURE IN THE BEDROOMS
AROUND 4 TIMES LAST NIGHT.
AND YOU ENDED UP?
WITH EVERYTHING IN EXACTLY
THE SAME PLACE I STARTED WITH.
[giggles]
OH, THE DINING ROOM
LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.
THANK YOU.
AND WHAT A SURPRISE.
A CAKE ON EVERY TABLE.
SO NO ONE HAS TO SHARE.
(Lorelai) OK, FLOOR LOOKS
GOOD, TABLE LOOKS GOOD.
HEY, WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR
BOOKS? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
ALL OUR BEAUTIFUL
LEATHER-BOUND BOOKS.
JONATHAN SWIFT, EDITH
WHARTON, CHARLES DICKENS.
A LOT OF THEM ARE GONE. THE
GUESTS MUST HAVE SWIPED THEM.
THEY SWIPED JONATHAN SWIFT AND
LEFT ME WITH CLIFFORD THE BIG RED DOG
AND 5 COPIES OF HE'S
JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU?
WE'VE BEEN AIRPLANE-BOOKED.
[sighing] WE GOTTA
GET THEM OUT OF HERE.
HEY, EDDIE, WILL YOU GET
THESE OUT OF HERE? THANKS.
I'LL RAID RORY'S
LEFTOVERS TONIGHT.
[speaking in French accent] WELL, THERE
EVERYBODY IS. WHO MISSED MICHEL?
HUH, TRICK QUESTION?
HOW WAS CALIFORNIA?
AH, YOU KNOW, IT IS INSANITY.
WHAT IS DIFFERENT ABOUT ME?
YOU'RE WEARING
SUNGLASSES INSIDE?
THEY ARE NOT SUNGLASSES.
THEY ARE EYEWEAR.
EVERYONE IN LOS ANGELES WEARS
PAIRS AND PAIRS OF EYEWEAR.
WELL, YOU LOOK GREAT.
[sighing] I TELL YOU, I
BELONG OUT THERE.
EVERYBODY IS THIN AND GORGEOUS.
OH, THERE'S THIS PLACE ON SUNSET
BOULEVARD, COFFEE BEAN & TEA LEAF.
AND EVERYBODY THERE
TALKS EXACTLY LIKE ME.
WOW. (Michel) I GOT BOTOX.
OW! DR. WU, SHE'S A GENIUS,
EVERYONE GOES THERE.
AND LOOK, I GOT THEM DONE BY THE
SAME GUY WHO DOES NICK LACHEY.
OK, GATHER AROUND.
I BROUGHT GIFTS.
GIFTS? GREAT.
OH, THE SHOPPING OUT THERE,
UNBELIEVABLE. RODEO DRIVE.
DIG A HOLE AND DROP ME
IN, EVEN IF I'M NOT DEAD YET.
OK, FOR YOU AND FOR YOU.
[exclaiming] IT'S A SMOG GLOBE.
[laughing] THEY ARE SO
FUNNY IN CALIFORNIA.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?
HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU.
I HEARD IT'S A FABULOUS
BOOK, AND SO TRUE.
OH, I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU
THE MOST AMAZING PART YET.
YOU GOT YOUR BOOBS DONE BY SAME
THE GUY WHO DID PAMELA ANDERSON?
NO, THOUGH I DID MEET
HIM AT THE COFFEE BEAN.
I WAS AT THIS PLACE
CALLED THE FARMERS MARKET
AND I WAS JUST SITTING THERE
MINDING ANYBODY'S BUSINESS
AND A MAN CAME UP TO ME
AND ASKED IF I WOULD LIKE TO BE
A CONTESTANT ON
THE PRICE IS RIGHT.
[gasps] YOU'RE KIDDING!
I WAS SO STUNNED.
I MEAN, I NEVER CONSIDERED
BEING ON A GAME SHOW
BUT I WAS FINISHED WITH MY BO
BO TEA, SO I FIGURED, WHY NOT?
THEY JUST ASKED YOU TO BE ON?
YES.
BOY, THAT'S WEIRD. JACKSON'S
COUSIN MONTY DID THE PRICE IS RIGHT
AND HE TOLD US THAT THE CONTESTANTS
HAD TO GET UP AT THE CRACK OF DAWN,
(Sookie) STAND IN LINE FOR HOURS
WITH HUNDREDS OF TOURISTS
AND THEN SHOW HOW ENTHUSIASTIC
A CONTESTANT THEY WOULD BE.
YOU KNOW, JUMPING UP AND
DOWN, SCREAMING AND YELLING.
YOU DON'T SAY. YEAH.
AND THEY HAD TO WEAR
EMBARRASSING T-SHIRTS
THAT SAID THINGS LIKE, "PICK
ME, BOB, I NEUTERED MY DOG."
(Sookie) AND THEY SPENT WEEKS
STUDYING THE PRICE OF TURTLE WAX
AND HAMBURGER HELPER.
OK, FINE, I MAY HAVE JUMPED A
LITTLE, BUT I DID NOT WEAR A T-SHIRT.
MICHEL, WHAT WOULD NICK
LACHEY'S TEETH GUY SAY?
MAKE FUN IF YOU WANT, BUT
I WALKED AWAY THE WINNER
OF OVER $100,000
OF CASH AND PRIZES.
THEN WHAT'S WITH
THE CHEAP GIFTS?
THAT'S NOT EVEN THAT SMOGGY.
WHY DO I TALK TO YOU? WHY?
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA RUN OVER
TO LUKE'S AND GRAB SOME DINNER
AND THEN I WILL BE BACK
TO FINISH THE SETUP.
GOT IT.
[sighs]
WELL, IF YOU JUST PUT IT IN
THE BOX, LIKE I TOLD YOU TO
I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD
TO FOLLOW YOU IN.
HERE'S YOUR FRIES.
(Lorelai) MMM, GOOD.
WHERE'S THE REST OF
YOUR BURGER? I ATE IT.
I WAS GONE 2 SECONDS.
KETCHUP, PLEASE.
BY THE TIME WE GET THE
KETCHUP, THE FRIES WILL BE GONE.
YOU'RE RIGHT,
FORGET THE KETCHUP.
SLOW DOWN. I CAN'T SLOW
DOWN. I ONLY HAVE 15 MINUTES
BEFORE I HAVE TO
GET BACK TO THE INN.
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE YOURSELF SICK.
YES, BUT MY SICKNESS WILL REMIND
ME OF YOU, SO IT'LL BE ROMANTIC.
ROMANTIC NAUSEA.
I GET THAT ALL THE TIME.
HIT ME WITH THE PIE. WHAT PIE?
(Lorelai) THE BOYSENBERRY PIE.
WE'RE OUT OF BOYSENBERRY PIE.
HOW CAN YOU BE OUT
OF BOYSENBERRY PIE?
BECAUSE SOMEONE
ORDERED THE LAST PIECE.
BUT I SPECIFICALLY ASKED YOU TO
SAVE ME A PIECE OF BOYSENBERRY PIE.
UH, NO, YOU DIDN'T.
UH, YES, I DID. WHEN?
(Lorelai) I LEFT YOU A MESSAGE.
I NEVER GOT A MESSAGE.
I LEFT IT ON YOUR CELL PHONE.
OH, IS THAT WHAT THAT
ANNOYING BEEPING SOUND WAS?
YES, IT WAS TELLING YOU
THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND CALLED
AND ASKED YOU TO
SAVE HER SOME PIE.
WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW
TO USE THE VOICE MAIL.
[snickering] YOU DON'T? OR
ANYTHING ELSE ON THIS STUPID THING.
I KNOW HOW TO MAKE A CALL AND
ANSWER A CALL AND THEN I AM OUT.
GIVE ME THAT. YOU'VE GOT TO
LEARN HOW TO USE THIS THING
BECAUSE IT IS VERY
POWERFUL, AND WONDERFUL
AND IT COULD CHANGE YOUR LIFE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I AM PUTTING MY
NUMBER ON SPEED DIAL
SO ALL YOU HAVE
TO DO IS HIT "1," SEE,
'CAUSE, LIKE, I'M NUMBER ONE.
[cell phone ringing] AND THEN...
OH, I WONDER WHO
THAT COULD BE. HMM.
HELLO? GIVE ME.
NO CELL PHONES IN THE DINER.
MMM! SEE? WASN'T
THAT FUN? TOTALLY.
WANT ME TO PUT IT
ON VIBRATE FOR YOU?
YOUR 15 MINUTES ARE UP.
OH, CRAP, I GOT TO
GO. TAKE A DOUGHNUT.
SO, THEN, SUNDAY?
PICK YOU UP AT 8:00.
I'LL LEAVE YOU A MESSAGE
LETTING YOU KNOW
YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING LUCKY.
HEY, KIRK, HOW'S THE
RIBBON COLLECTING COMING?
OH, WHY DO YOU GET HIM STARTED?
I THINK WE'RE NEAR
THE FINISH LINE.
WHO'S WINNING? HEY,
THIS ISN'T A CONTEST.
I JUST WANNA KNOW. I
DON'T CARE WHO'S WINNING.
WELL, THEN YOU WON'T CARE IF
IT'S ME. WELL, OF COURSE IT'S YOU.
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT MAKES THE
COSTUMES FOR THE CHRISTMAS PAGEANT.
YOU MAKE THE ORNAMENTS
FOR THE FIRELIGHT FESTIVAL.
YOU GO TO THE TOWN MEETINGS.
YOU SAY HELLO TO PEOPLE.
YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER
WHO LOOKS LIKE
SHE BELONGS ON TOP
OF A CHRISTMAS TREE.
EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT
GETS YOU TONS OF POINTS.
YEAH. THERE'S NO WAY
TO COMPETE WITH THAT.
KIRK? YOU'RE KICKING HIS ASS.
YES! THIS ISN'T A CONTEST.
NO, NOT NOW IT ISN'T.
KIRK, I WANT A FINAL TALLY,
BECAUSE THE RIBBON LOSER
IS BUYING THE RIBBON-WINNER
DINNER SUNDAY NIGHT.
LOSER PAYS? WHEN
DID WE AGREE ON THAT?
OH, GEE, I MUST HAVE LEFT
THAT ON YOUR VOICE MAIL, TOO.
[sighing]
[door chimes ringing]
[cell phone ringing]
HEY, MOM. HEY.
HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT
DOING A LITTLE SHOPPING TOMORROW?
HURT, CONFUSED, A LITTLE DIRTY.
I NEED TO GET A NEW
BACK-TOGETHER-WITH-LUKE DRESS
FOR MY
BACK-TOGETHER-WITH-LUKE DATE.
OH, WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?
HOW ABOUT THE NEW
PLACE WHERE YOU GOT
THE SCARF WITH THE BOWS ON IT?
OH, YES, CUTE PLACE.
I WANT TO GO TO THE CUTE PLACE.
(Rory) 10:00?
I'LL BE THE ONE HOLDING COFFEE.
SO, UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT?
MOM. WHAT? ARE YOU DRIVING?
SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE DRIVING.
I AM DRIVING.
YOU ARE? WHERE YOU GOING?
YOU KNOW WHERE I'M GOING, MOM.
DISNEYLAND? NO.
PUPPY WORLD? YOU'RE SO IMMATURE.
YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME SAY IT?
SAY WHAT?
I AM ON MY WAY TO
FRIDAY NIGHT DINNER.
[taunting] THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU'RE ON THE ROAD TO HELLVILLE.
DO NOT GLOAT.
I'M NOT GLOATING. I'M
GLOATING WITH HAND GESTURES,
BYE. AND A LITTLE SOFT SHOE.
GOT TO GO. LISTEN, ENJOY
YOUR GLAZED WOODCOCK
WITH A SIDE OF
TRUFFLED GOOSE HEAD.
OH, WHAT A SHAME,
I'M HERE. YOU ARE NOT.
SEE YOU TOMORROW. OH, RORY,
WAIT, I'M GLOATING WITH JAZZ HANDS.
BYE, MOM.
FINISH UP, KIRK. I'M
CLOSING UP EARLY.
YOU'RE GOING TO SEE
LORELAI TONIGHT, AREN'T YOU?
ACTUALLY, NO. SHE'S WORKING.
I'M GONNA SEE HER SUNDAY NIGHT.
THAT SOUNDS NICE.
YOU GUYS PROBABLY SPEND
A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER.
YES, WE DO.
AND YOU PROBABLY SLEEP OVER
AT EACH OTHER'S HOUSES, TOO, HUH?
COOKIES ARE ON THE HOUSE, KIRK.
JUST GO, OK?
YOU KNOW, LULU'S MY
FIRST REAL GIRLFRIEND.
I HAD AN IMAGINARY
GIRLFRIEND FOR A WHILE
WHEN I WAS YOUNG,
BUT SHE LEFT ME.
WELL, THAT HAPPENS.
I WISH LULU AND I COULD HAVE
WHAT YOU AND LORELAI HAVE.
YOU CAN HAVE THAT, KIRK.
YOU WILL HAVE IT, IN FACT
WHY DON'T YOU LEAVE
AND GO HAVE IT RIGHT NOW?
YOU KNOW, I LIVE WITH MY MOTHER.
APPARENTLY, I'M OFFICIALLY
IN THIS CONVERSATION.
DON'T KNOW HOW
IT HAPPENED, BUT...
MY MOTHER IS ALLERGIC TO LULU.
THE MINUTE LULU
COMES IN THE ROOM,
MOTHER WILL COUGH
AND CHOKE AND TURN RED.
HER THROAT CLOSES UP,
EVERYTHING GETS PUFFY.
LULU'S TRIED EVERYTHING.
SHE CHANGED HER SOAP, HER PERFUME,
SHAMPOO, CREAM RINSE, DEODORANT.
SHE'S ACTUALLY KIND OF A MESS RIGHT
NOW, BUT NOTHING SEEMS TO WORK.
KIRK. OBVIOUSLY, I
CAN'T HAVE MOTHER
CHOKING 3 TIMES A WEEK
SO I CONSIDERED CONSTRUCTING
A SEPARATE ENTRANCE TO MY ROOM
SO THAT LULU WON'T ACTUALLY
HAVE TO WALK THROUGH THE HOUSE
BUT THAT'S GONNA
COST ABOUT $40,000
BECAUSE I'D HAVE TO BREAK
THROUGH A BEARING WALL...
KIRK, STOP. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.
YOU'RE A GROWN MAN.
YOU'VE GOT TO CHANGE
YOUR LIVING SITUATION.
MY MOTHER WON'T
MOVE OUT. I'VE ASKED.
I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR
MOTHER, I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU.
ME? YES, YOU.
GET A LIFE, GET SOME
INDEPENDENCE, GET OUT OF THERE.
BUT... YOU WANT TO HAVE A
REAL RELATIONSHIP WITH LULU?
YES.
THEN GROW UP, BE A MAN.
I'M NOT SURE I UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU'RE SAYING TO ME.
WELL, KIRK, I HAVE GIVEN
YOU THE LINCOLN LOGS.
YOU HAVE TO BUILD THE CABIN.
LOCK THE DOOR BEHIND YOU.
YOU'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT
A REAL CABIN, ARE YOU?
'CAUSE IF A NEW ENTRANCE
IS GONNA COST $40,000
THEN A CABIN'S GOT TO BE MORE.
[door closing] (Luke)
GOOD NIGHT, KIRK.
[door bell ringing]
♪ [music playing]
EMILY, THEY'RE HERE.
HURRY, PLEASE.
♪ [piano music playing]
OH, MY GOODNESS, THE
BAG IS BIGGER THAN YOU ARE.
I BROUGHT YOU SOME RECENT
ISSUES OF THE YALE DAILY NEWS.
WE'VE BEEN DOING SOME
REALLY GOOD ARTICLES LATELY.
AND SOME WITH A BYLINE I
MIGHT BE FAMILIAR WITH, I HOPE.
I BELIEVE THAT, YES,
YOU'LL FIND SOME HIGHLIGHTED
SECTIONS IN YOUR HYMNALS.
THEN HAND THE BAG
OVER, MY DEAR. OK.
SORRY TO KEEP EVERYONE WAITING.
UH, LUCKILY, WE
HAD PLENTY TO READ.
HELLO, RORY.
HELLO, GRANDMA.
LET'S GO IN THE LIVING
ROOM, SHALL WE?
EXCELLENT IDEA.
PARDON ME, MRS. GILMORE, SHALL
I PUT THE SALADS OUT NOW, MA'AM?
WE HAVEN'T HAD DRINKS
YET, OLYMPIA. YES, MA'AM.
I WROTE IT ALL DOWN ON THE
REFRIGERATOR PAD FOR YOU, OLYMPIA.
IS SOMEONE ELSE
COMING FOR DINNER?
UH, SOMEONE ELSE? NO,
IT'S JUST GONNA BE US.
"US," MEANING, JUST
THE 3 OF US HERE, RIGHT?
I MEAN, YOU KNOW
MOM'S NOT COMING?
OH, WELL, ACTUALLY...
OF COURSE WE KNOW YOUR MOTHER'S
NOT COMING. THE MAID MADE A MISTAKE.
OLYMPIA, IT WAS 3
FOR DINNER, NOT 4.
WELL, SHE'S FIRED.
CLEAR THAT PLACE
AT ONCE, PLEASE.
RICHARD, TAKE RORY IN THE
LIVING ROOM. I'LL JUST DO IT MYSELF.
ALL RIGHT.
[silverware rattling]
NOW, I HAD OLYMPIA WRITE OUT
THE REHEATING INSTRUCTIONS
FOR THE GOOSE, AND THEY WORK.
I HAD HER TEST IT
DURING DESSERT.
THANK YOU, GRANDMA.
I ALSO PUT SOME HARRY
AND DAVID FRUIT IN THERE.
OH, YOU CAN EAT THE
PEARS WITH A SPOON.
I'LL REMEMBER THAT. BYE,
GRANDPA. BYE, GRANDMA.
BYE, BYE.
BYE, RORY.
WELL, THAT WAS A
PLEASANT EVENING.
REALLY? WHAT DINNER WERE YOU AT?
WELL, WE WEREN'T EXACTLY
SURE SHE WAS COMING, EMILY.
I WAS SURE. I DON'T UNDERSTAND
IT. WHY WASN'T SHE HERE?
I'M GUESSING SHE
HAD SOMETHING TO DO.
SOMETHING TO DO?
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN,
"SOMETHING TO DO"?
IT MEANS SHE HAD A
PREVIOUS ENGAGEMENT
OR MEETING, A DINNER, PERHAPS.
I KNOW WHAT "SOMETHING
TO DO" MEANS, RICHARD.
MY APOLOGIES, EMILY.
IT DOESN'T MAKE
ANY SENSE AT ALL.
I WENT DOWN THERE. I
ARRANGED THE WHOLE THING.
SHE GOT HER FILTHY
DINER OWNER BACK.
WHAT IS THE
PROBLEM? I DON'T KNOW.
LORELAI IS AS MUCH OF A
MYSTERY TO ME AS SHE IS TO YOU.
I MADE A WHOLE GOOSE
FOR 3 PEOPLE, WASTEFUL.
DO YOU THINK IT'S POSSIBLE THAT
THEY DIDN'T GET BACK TOGETHER?
WHAT? PERHAPS IT DIDN'T HAPPEN.
MAYBE HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT YOU WERE TELLING HIM TO DO.
HOW COULD HE NOT UNDERSTAND? I
SPELLED IT OUT FOR HIM, STEP BY STEP.
I SPOKE CLEARLY AND SLOWLY.
THERE'S NO WAY HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND
WHAT I WAS TELLING HIM TO DO.
ALL RIGHT, THEN PERHAPS HE
UNDERSTOOD BUT HE SIMPLY DIDN'T DO IT.
HE'S NOT THE MOST TAKE-CHARGE
SORT OF FELLOW, YOU KNOW.
HE NEVER DID FOLLOW THROUGH ON
MY ADVICE TO FRANCHISE HIS DINER.
OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE
RIGHT. HE DIDN'T DO IT.
HE DIDN'T GO TO HER LIKE I
SPECIFICALLY TOLD HIM TO.
SO IT WOULD SEEM.
WHAT AN IMBECILE THAT MAN IS.
WELL, YOU GAVE IT YOUR BEST
EFFORT. NO ONE CAN SAY YOU DIDN'T.
I JUST DON'T BELIEVE IT.
DON'T WORRY, EMILY.
I'M SURE SHE'LL COME
AROUND EVENTUALLY.
AND THEN AT LEAST WE WON'T HAVE
TO DEAL WITH THEM AS A COUPLE.
HERE, LET ME FRESHEN
UP YOUR DRINK.
[chattering]
IF I STILL WANT THAT SWEATER IN 20
MINUTES, I'M COMING BACK TO GET IT.
OK, WAIT, WHAT IS WRONG
WITH THIS PICTURE? HUH?
LOOK AT YOU. AN ARMFUL OF BAGS
AND A POTENTIAL 20-MINUTE
SWEATER ON THE WAY.
LOOK AT ME, COMPLETELY BAGLESS.
RELAX, THE DAY IS STILL YOUNG.
THERE ARE NO MORE CLOTHES OUT
THERE FOR ME. THE LORELAI LOOK IS OVER.
I WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD
ME. THAT WOULD HAVE HELPED.
OH, SEE? THAT'S WHAT I WANT.
HEY, COME ON, LET'S FOLLOW HER.
I'M NOT FOLLOWING THAT GIRL.
BUT SHE KNOWS WHERE MY STORES
ARE, AND SHE LOOKS ABOUT MY SIZE
(Lorelai) SO IF SHE HAPPENS
TO HAVE AN ANEURYSM
BETWEEN NOW AND
TOMORROW NIGHT...
[traffic moving] WHAT? OH,
MY GOD, IS THAT LOGAN?
IT IS LOGAN. I CAN'T
BELIEVE IT. WHAT A JERK.
MOM, IT'S OK.
NO, IT'S NOT OK.
(Lorelai) HE'S SITTING
OVER THERE WITH A GIRL.
OH, NO, YOU DON'T.
GET ME A ROCK. MOM.
I AM BEATING HIM WITH A
ROCK. MOM, STOP, IT'S FINE.
HOW IS IT FINE? I'M SORRY,
AREN'T YOU STILL SEEING HIM?
WELL, YEAH. OK, SO IF
YOU'RE STILL SEEING HIM,
AND HE'S OVER THERE SEEING HER,
HOW IS THAT OK?
BECAUSE WE'RE KEEPING
THINGS CASUAL. CASUAL?
WE SEE EACH OTHER,
WE SEE OTHER PEOPLE
AND THAT'S HIM OVER THERE
SEEING OTHER PEOPLE. SO IT'S FINE.
OH. WE BOTH AGREED.
OK, IF YOU BOTH AGREED, THEN OK.
BUT AREN'T YOU GUYS
SLEEPING TOGETHER?
MOM, IT'S COLLEGE.
OH, RIGHT, IT'S COLLEGE.
WE'RE BOTH BUSY.
WE HAVE CLASS, WE HAVE
FRIENDS. YOU KNOW, IT'S GOOD TO
JUST KEEP THINGS CAJ, HAVE
FUN, THAT'S IT. FUN, SURE, I GET IT.
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS.
NO PROBLEM. I WATCH OPRAH.
OK, SO, ARE YOU SURE
YOU'RE COOL WITH THIS?
I'M COMPLETELY COOL WITH THIS.
OK, BECAUSE IT JUST
REALLY BOTHERS...
MOM, LOOK OVER THERE. I
THINK THE LORELAI LOOK IS BACK
(Rory) AND IT'S IN VELVET.
SO, HAL, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THE LIVING-ROOM/RECEPTION AREA
MIGHT BE A NICE PLACE TO START.
I REALLY NEED TO SHOOT THE EXTERIORS
FIRST. WE'RE ABOUT TO LOSE THE LIGHT.
OH, GREAT IDEA. LET ME TELL YOU WE
ARE VERY PROUD OF OUR EXTERIORS.
WHY DON'T I GET MICHEL TO SHOW
YOU OUTSIDE AND HELP YOU SET UP?
OK.
(Michel) NO, NO, THIS
IS UNACCEPTABLE.
PUT YOUR SUPERVISOR
ON THE PHONE NOW.
NOW, RIGHT NOW.
HEY, EVERYTHING OK, MICHEL?
YES, EVERYTHING IS
FINE. LOTS OF SUNSHINE.
I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.
I INSIST YOU DO
SOMETHING ABOUT THIS
BEFORE I GO OUT AND FIND
A STICK AND MAKE IT POINTY
AND COME AND FIND YOUR
CUBICLE AND POKE YOU VERY HARD.
HEY, TELL YOU WHAT, WHY DON'T I
JUST SHOW YOU OUTSIDE MYSELF?
OK.
(Michel) SURE, I'LL HOLD.
[people chattering]
[telephone ringing]
(man) COPY!
(man) YOU'RE GONNA
DO IT ON CONFERENCE?
(woman) FAX.
THAT'S A LOOK OF
GREAT DETERMINATION.
YES, I'M DETERMINED
TO FINISH THIS PIECE
BEFORE MY CAFFEINE
BUZZ WEARS OFF,
AND I HAVE ABOUT
30 SECONDS LEFT.
SO?
SO?
DID I SEE YOU ON STATE
STREET WITH... YEAH.
RIGHT.
SO YOU SAW ME ON
STATE STREET WITH...
YEP.
SO?
SO?
ARE WE STILL GOOD?
ABSOLUTELY.
REALLY?
LOGAN, WE BOTH AGREED, NO
STRINGS ATTACHED, REMEMBER?
I REMEMBER. I WAS CHECKING
TO SEE HOW WELL YOU REMEMBER.
I REMEMBER PERFECTLY.
OK, THAT'S GOOD TO HEAR, SO...
WE'RE NOT GONNA DO THE
"SO" THING AGAIN, ARE WE?
NO, PROMISE, NO MORE SO'S.
WOULD YOU TAKE AN "UM"?
DEPENDS. WHERE'S IT LEADING?
UM, ARE YOU BUSY OR DO YOU FEEL
LIKE GRABBING A CUP OF COFFEE?
WHY? DO YOU HAVE THE MASTER
KEY TO A STARBUCKS OR SOMETHING?
NAH, I JUST THOUGHT
WE'D WALK IN AND PAY.
WOW. OLD SCHOOL.
SURE, LET'S GO.
OK, LET'S GO.
(Lorelai) YEAH, THERE, RIGHT
THERE. HOW'S IT LOOKING, HAL?
I THINK WE'RE GOOD
WITH THE FLOWERS.
LET'S START CLEARING
EVERYONE OUT OF THERE.
HOW'S IT GOING?
I THINK WE'RE GETTING
READY TO SHOOT.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
WELL, JUST IN CASE HE DOESN'T HAVE
TIME TO GET A SHOT OF THE KITCHEN
PEOPLE WILL GET TO SEE THE FOOD.
YOU'RE INSANE. OK, WE'RE READY.
(Michel) WELL, TRY
SOMETHING ELSE.
I DON'T CARE, JUST STOP IT.
BLOCK IT WITH YOUR BODY,
TIANANMEN SQUARE, BE A HERO.
UH, MICHEL, WHAT'S WRONG? I
WILL TELL YOU WHAT'S WRONG.
NED THE BELLMAN IS
WRONG. HE'S USELESS.
I GAVE HIM SPECIFIC INSTRUCTIONS,
AND HE IGNORED THEM.
WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
(Michel) NO, NO, NO, NO.
DO NOT DRIVE THAT HERE.
IT WAS NOT SUPPOSED TO
ARRIVE FOR 2 MORE DAYS.
(Lorelai) SERIOUSLY,
WHAT IS THAT?
(Michel) MY OVER $100,000
IN CASH AND PRIZES.
THAT'S WHAT YOU WON?
THAT AND MANY BOXES OF
SOME SORT OF INSTANT-RICE DISH
THAT I HAVE YET TO
FEEL A NEED TO SAMPLE.
[coughing]
[clearing throat]
ARE YOU MICHEL GERARD? YES.
WELL, MICHEL GERARD, I'M PLEASED TO
PRESENT YOU WITH YOUR MOTOR HOME.
STEP ON INSIDE, AND I'LL SHOW
YOU HOW EVERYTHING WORKS.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW HOW IT
WORKS. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR AT ALL.
MICHEL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
AFTER I WON THIS MONSTROSITY,
I TOLD THEM I DO NOT WANT IT.
I WANTED THE CASH.
BUT THEY SAID THEY WOULD ONLY
GIVE ME HALF OF WHAT IT WAS WORTH.
YEAH, JACKSON'S COUSIN WON A
WASHER-DRYER ON THE $25,000 PYRAMID
(Sookie) BUT HE DECIDED TO
TAKE HALF THE CASH VALUE
BECAUSE HE LIKES TO GO TO THE
LAUNDROMAT TO PICK UP WOMEN.
WELL, I'M NOT JACKSON'S COUSIN.
I HAVE ALL OF MY CHROMOSOMES.
AND I DON'T WANT HALF
OF THE CASH VALUE.
I WANT THE ENTIRE $100,000 THAT
WAS FLASHING UNDER MY FACE.
EXCUSE ME. DO YOU WANT TO
KNOW HOW TO USE IT OR NOT?
BECAUSE THE LEVELING
JACKS CAN BE A LITTLE TRICKY.
NO, I DO NOT WANT TO
KNOW HOW TO USE IT!
OK, ENJOY YOUR DAY.
DROP DEAD AND WE'LL DISCUSS IT.
THEY TOLD ME I HAD A WEEK
BEFORE THEY WERE DELIVERING IT.
I PUT AN AD ON-LINE, AND
I WAS GOING TO SELL IT.
AND THEN I GET A CALL IT IS
COMING, AND IT HAS NOT BEEN A WEEK.
OH, WAIT. SIR, COULD I PAY YOU TO
JUST TAKE THIS AWAY FOR AN HOUR
YOU KNOW, DRIVE IT
AROUND, SHOW IT THE SIGHTS?
SORRY, ONCE WE DELIVER THE
KEYS, IT'S OUT OF OUR HANDS.
OH, LORELAI?
UH, TAKING CARE OF IT, HAL.
BY THE TIME ALL
THIS DUST CLEARS,
I'M AFRAID WE'LL HAVE
LOST THE LIGHT ANYWAY.
NO, NO. WE'RE NOT
LOSING THE LIGHT.
WE'LL KEEP THE LIGHT
AND LOSE THE DUST.
SOOKIE, GET THE DUSTBUSTERS.
MICHEL, MOVE THIS THING.
[birds chirping]
A SQUIRREL GOT THE ROAST.
MICHEL.
I DON'T KNOW HOW IT WORKS.
(Lorelai) FIGURE IT OUT.
YOU FIGURE IT OUT.
IT'S LIKE THE SPACE
SHUTTLE IN HERE.
OK, WE'RE DONE HERE. WHAT? NO!
LOOK, IT'S TOO LATE.
I CAN TAKE SOME INTERIOR
SHOTS JUST FOR THE HELL OF IT.
OH, SURE. SOOKIE, WHY DON'T
YOU SHOW HIM THE KITCHEN?
REALLY? GREAT. FOLLOW ME.
[car door closing]
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
HAD YOUR MOTOR HOME
DELIVERED HERE,
TO THE INN, TODAY.
I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE A WEEK.
YOU KNOW, MICHEL, I KNOW THE
WORLD REVOLVES AROUND YOU,
AND WE ALL HAVE
TO UNDERSTAND THAT
BUT THIS WAS IMPORTANT.
I DIDN'T THINK IT
WAS COMING TODAY.
YOU DIDN'T THINK, PERIOD.
YOU KNOW, I DON'T ALWAYS EXPECT
YOU TO BE A GREAT HELP AROUND HERE
BUT HOW ABOUT NOT BEING A
SUPER-COLOSSAL HINDRANCE TO US ALL, OK?
[door opening]
[door closing]
[people chattering]
BUSINESS OR PLEASURE?
"SOCIAL ORIGINS OF
DICTATORSHIP AND DEMOCRACY:
LORD AND PEASANT IN THE
MAKING OF THE MODERN WORLD."
OH, PLEASURE. HAVE YOU READ IT?
I'M WAITING FOR THE
FILM TO COME OUT.
YEAH, I KNOW. I HEARD RENEE
ZELLWEGER'S GAINING A TON OF WEIGHT
TO PLAY THE PEASANT.
LISTEN, I WAS WONDERING IF YOU'RE
DOING ANYTHING TOMORROW NIGHT.
OH, UH, I DON'T KNOW. WHY?
IT'S FINN'S BIRTHDAY.
HE'S HAVING A PARTY.
LOTS OF BOOZE, NO FOOD
WHATSOEVER. AH, THAT FINN.
I WAS WONDERING
IF YOU'D LIKE TO GO.
WITH YOU? THAT
WAS THE PLAN, YES.
OH.
WELL, UH, SURE.
YES? YES, I'D LOVE TO.
UM, LET'S CELEBRATE
ANOTHER YEAR OF FINN.
EXCELLENT. NOW, IT'S THEMED.
ANYTHING QUENTIN
TARANTINO IS ACCEPTABLE
AND I'LL PICK YOU UP AT
YOUR ROOM AROUND 9:00.
SOUNDS GOOD. DOES IT?
NOW HOW ABOUT THAT?
HMM!
[sighs]
[birds chirping]
HEY, SOOKIE, HAVE
YOU SEEN MICHEL?
HE WAS ARRANGING A CAR TO
TAKE THE MARTINS TO FOXWOODS.
I THINK HE'S SHOWING SOME
PEOPLE THE MOTOR HOME.
NOW?
HE ASKED ME IF IT WAS OK.
(Sookie) I TOLD HIM
IT WAS OK. IS IT OKAY?
YEAH, IT'S OK, BUT WHY
DIDN'T HE JUST ASK ME?
I THINK HE'S LITTLE
AFRAID OF YOU.
AFRAID OF ME, OF KITTEN?
WAS I REALLY THAT
MEAN? YOU WERE UPSET.
I WAS MEAN. YOU KNOW
MICHEL, HE LIKES TO DISH IT OUT
BUT HE'S EXTREMELY SENSITIVE
WHEN YOU GIVE IT BACK.
YEAH, I GUESS. YOU
CAN'T EVEN TEASE HIM.
HE NEVER WORE THOSE
RED COWBOY BOOTS AGAIN.
[groans] I REMEMBER.
I'M SURE HE'LL GET OVER
IT. YOU KNOW MICHEL.
YEAH. HEY, COULD YOU ASK EDDIE
TO GET THE MARTINS A CAR? HMM?
YOU GOT IT.
WHAT'S THE GAS MILEAGE LIKE?
HMM? THE GAS MILEAGE?
IT'S 5,000 POUNDS
OF METAL ON WHEELS.
I'M SURE THE
MILEAGE IS FABULOUS.
WOULD YOU TAKE
$20,000 FOR IT? $20,000?
BUT IT'S BRAND-NEW, AND...
[groans] WHATEVER.
$20,000, SURE. YOU GOT A CHECK?
(Lorelai) WHOA... WHOA... WHOA.
HI. WHAT MICHEL
MEANS TO SAY IS THAT
HE WOULD HAPPILY
ENTERTAIN ALL OFFERS
FOR THIS TOP-OF-THE-LINE,
STREAMLINED, BEAUTIFUL MOTOR HOME.
I MEAN, LOOK AT IT. I
JUST MAY BUY IT MYSELF.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OFFER $30,000.
HEY, HAS EVERYONE
SEEN INSIDE THIS BABY?
BECAUSE IF YOU HAVEN'T,
YOU NEED TO, SERIOUSLY.
AND... AND... AND WHILE
YOU'RE TAKING A LOOK,
PLEASE NOTE THE PLUSH,
SOIL-AND-STAIN-RESISTANT
WALL-TO-WALL WALLPAPER
THAT ACCENTS THE BEAUTIFUL
MAPLE-ISH PANELING. HUH?
YEAH.
(man) OH, THAT'S FABULOUS.
$20,000? YOU'RE JUST
GIVING THIS THING AWAY.
THAT'S WHAT I WAS TOLD TO DO. I DIDN'T
KNOW ABOUT THE "MAPLE-ISH PANELING."
MICHEL, YOU CAN'T SELL
THIS THING FOR $20,000.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
APPARENTLY, I'M NOT.
APPARENTLY, I NEVER THINK.
OK, OK. I'M SORRY. WHATEVER.
MICHEL, I WAS JUST TENSE
ABOUT THE PHOTO SHOOT
AND I SAID THINGS I
SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID.
YOU KNOW I DIDN'T
MEAN THEM, RIGHT?
I DO NOT KNOW THAT AT ALL.
I THINK YOU DO.
I THINK YOU KNOW THIS INN
COULD NOT RUN WITHOUT YOU
AND I THINK YOU KNOW I KNOW THIS
INN COULD NOT RUN WITHOUT YOU.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR PHOTO
SHOOT? I RUINED IT FOR YOU, NO?
WE RESCHEDULED THE PHOTO
SHOOT. EVERYTHING'S FINE.
I COULD HAVE TOLD
YOU THEY'D RESCHEDULE.
EVERYTHING WITH
YOU IS SO DRAMATIC.
SO, WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO HERE?
[sighing] WELL, I JUST
WANT THE THING GONE.
MICHEL, YOU HAD $100,000
FLASH UNDER YOUR FACE
AND THE ENTIRE WORLD SAW IT.
NOW, COME ON, GO
GET YOUR MONEY. WELL...
SERIOUSLY, MICHEL, THE
RUBE WITH THE CROSSED EYES
AND THE BOLO TIE, I
SAY THAT'S YOUR MAN.
HE DOES LOOK STUPID, DOESN'T HE?
YEAH, AND FAMILIAR
WITH THE, UH, WAYS
OF HOOKING UP THINGS
TO LOCAL SEWER LINES.
HUH, GO GET HIM.
YES, I'LL ZERO IN ON HIM.
IF WORSE COMES TO WORST
THE WOMAN WITH THE ELASTIC-WAIST
JEANS SHOULD BE A NICE BACKUP.
ATTABOY.
YOU KNOW, IF I HOLD OUT, MAYBE I
CAN GET $120,000... JUST SELL THE THING.
RIGHT.
[telephone ringing]
WELL? (Lorelai)
IT'S TOO SPARKLY.
IT'S NOT TOO SPARKLY.
I LOOK LIKE A CHANDELIER.
WHAT SHOES ARE YOU
WEARING? THE PINK PUMPS.
I LIKE THOSE.
ARE THEY A LITTLE
TOO "COME AND GET IT"?
DON'T YOU WANT HIM TO
COME AND GET IT? UH, YES,
BUT I WANT IT TO BE HIS
IDEA TO COME AND GET IT.
IT'S NOT THE SAME IF THE SHOES
TELL HIM TO COME AND GET IT.
I REALLY WANT TO STOP
SAYING, "COME AND GET IT."
FINE. I HAVE TO GET READY.
GOING OUT? AS A MATTER OF
FACT, I HAVE A DATE TONIGHT.
LOGAN?
NO, ROBERT.
WHO'S ROBERT? HE'S A FRIEND.
HAVE I MET THIS R-ROBERT?
NO, YOU HAVE NOT
MET THIS ROBERT.
WHAT'S HIS LAST NAME? WHY?
DO YOU THINK I'M MAKING HIM UP?
I JUST WONDERED IF I EVER
HEARD YOU MENTION HIM BEFORE.
UM, HE'S JUST A GUY I KNOW AT
YALE, AND THERE'S A PARTY TONIGHT
FOR ANOTHER GUY I KNOW AT YALE,
AND ROBERT GRIMALDI
ASKED ME TO GO
SO I AM GOING TO GO.
SO, DOES THIS MEAN
IT'S OVER WITH LOGAN?
NOPE, IT JUST MEANS THAT
TONIGHT I'M GOING OUT WITH ROBERT.
AND YOU LIKE THIS ROBERT,
RIGHT? RIGHT. YOU KNOW,
THE PARTY'S A QUENTIN
TARANTINO-THEMED
PARTY, AND YOU HAVE
TO WEAR COSTUMES
SO I'M GOING AS GOGO.
BECAUSE YOU HAVE THE SKIRT.
AND NO OTHER IDEAS.
CLUELESSNESS IS THE MOTHER
OF INVENTION. CALL ME AFTER.
I WILL DO THAT. [grunting]
THIS DRESS IS TOO SLUTTY.
THE DRESS IS FINE.
THE PERSON IN IT, HOWEVER...
YOU'RE BREAKING UP. THE... THE...
THE HOUSE IS GOING THROUGH A TUNNEL.
YOU'RE BREAKING UP.
[imitating electronic static]
[cell phone beeps]
OH, I WAS GONNA...
[laughing] I JUST
HEARD THE CAR, SO I...
NO, BUT I ALWAYS...
I KNOW. I SHOULD HAVE...
NO, I SHOULD HAVE. NO.
OK, THIS IS STUPID. YES, IT IS.
[clearing throat] IT'S NOT LIKE
WE'VE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE.
WE HAVE. AND SUCCESSFULLY.
I MADE IT TO THE DOOR.
I MADE IT TO THE CAR.
[sighs]
HEY.
HEY.
SO, I THOUGHT WE'D
GO TO MARINO'S.
YOU LIKE MARINO'S, RIGHT? MMM.
[crickets chirruping]
WHAT IS THIS? WHAT?
REGGAE FEVER? SO?
WHEN DID YOU BUY THIS?
WHERE DID YOU BUY THIS?
WHY DID YOU BUY THIS?
I WAS AT THE GAS
STATION LAST WEEK.
IT WAS AT THE REGISTER.
WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL?
THE BIG DEAL IS,
IT'S REGGAE FEVER.
I KNOW. WHEN YOU LOOK IN THE
MIRROR DO YOU SEE REGGAE FEVER?
IT WAS CHEAP.
"JA GLORY BY TOOTS BAMBADA
"LIVELY UP YOURSELF
BY THE FAMILY ZIGZAG
"LET YOUR YA BE
YA BY RANKING ROY."
WHAT ELSE AM I
GONNA FIND IN HERE?
GANJA AND A
YELLOW-GREEN-RED KNIT CAP?
I BOUGHT A CD.
I DIDN'T ADOPT THE ENTIRE
RASTAFARIAN CULTURE.
THIS IS SO WEIRD.
I MEAN, TO THINK THERE WAS
THIS WHOLE CHUNK OF TIME
WHEN WE WEREN'T TOGETHER, WE
WERE LIVING TOTALLY SEPARATE LIVES.
I WAS JUST WORKING LIKE CRAZY
AND YOU WERE RUNNING
AROUND AND BUYING REGGAE CDS.
ONE CD. ONE.
I JUST HATE THAT WE WERE APART.
YEAH, WASN'T TOO
FOND OF IT MYSELF.
YEAH, ALL I CAN SAY IS, YOU'RE
LUCKY I'M BACK IN YOUR LIFE
BECAUSE CLEARLY YOU
WERE LOST WITHOUT ME.
AND IT'S A MIRACLE
YOU'RE EVEN STILL ALIVE.
RIGHT?
YOU BET.
[car engine starting]
♪ JOKERS TO THE
RIGHT HERE I AM ♪
♪ STUCK IN THE MIDDLE WITH YOU ♪
NOT A MOMENT TOO SOON.
OH, NO, THANKS.
I THINK I'M GONNA TRY TO GET
THROUGH THE DOORWAY FIRST.
HUH, NOVEL APPROACH.
YOU'RE GONNA BE
AN INTERESTING DATE.
ROBERT. WHAT ARE YOU?
DEAD EXTRA NUMBER 2.
BRILLIANT, MY FRIEND.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FINN.
YOU OWE ME $40.
MAYBE FOR MY BIRTHDAY
YOU'LL FORGIVE ME THAT.
DOES YOUR FATHER HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT A TOLL HIS CROSS-DRESSING
TOOK ON YOUR PSYCHE?
THAT WAS YOUR FATHER, FINN.
UH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
MY GOD, THAT EXPLAINS A LOT.
DO I KNOW YOU? (Robert)
RORY GILMORE, FINN.
PLEASURE TO MEET YOU. ALL RIGHT,
CHILDREN, DRINK AND BE MERRY
FOR TOMORROW WE WILL ALL
BE IN A GREAT DEAL OF PAIN.
THANK YOU, DARLING.
YOUR NAME AND YOUR PHONE
NUMBER WOULD ALSO BE APPRECIATED.
FINN'S QUITE AN
ORIGINAL. YES, HE IS.
HAVE I TOLD YOU I
LIKE YOUR COSTUME?
(Rory) NO, YOU DIDN'T.
ALL RIGHT, DID THAT COUNT, OR ARE
YOU EXPECTING ME TO SAY IT AGAIN?
I THINK WE'RE GOOD.
LET'S GET A DRINK.
OH, HEY, COLIN,
WHERE'S YOUR DATE?
I WENT TO PICK HER
UP, THE DOOR OPENS,
AND SHE'S DRESSED
LIKE MIRA SORVINO.
HOW DO YOU DRESS
LIKE MIRA SORVINO?
YOU HAVE BLOND HAIR AND A NAME
TAG THAT SAYS, "MIRA SORVINO."
I JUST TURNED AROUND AND LEFT.
WELL, WELL, WELL.
THE GANG'S ALL HERE.
ROBERT, GOOD TO
SEE YOU. HELLO, LOGAN.
RORY, I LIKE THE
COSTUME. I LIKE YOURS, TOO.
THIS IS WHITNEY. WHITNEY,
ROBERT, RORY. YOU KNOW COLIN.
HI. WHITNEY, IS YOUR
FRIEND JOSIE HERE?
YEAH, SHE'S OVER THERE WITH THE
GUY DRESSED LIKE HARVEY WEINSTEIN.
(Colin) PERFECT. I'LL SEE YOU
LATER. LEAVE HER ALONE, COLIN.
YES, YES, OF COURSE.
SO, GOOD PARTY?
SEEMS LIKE IT.
MUSIC'S COOL. VERY COOL.
WELL, WE'RE JUST HEADING OVER TO
THE BAR. CAN WE GET YOU 2 ANYTHING?
NO, WE'RE JUST GONNA
TAKE A LOOK AROUND.
OK, WE'LL CATCH YOU LATER.
SOUNDS GOOD.
HEY, ROBERT? YES?
WHAT'S YOUR LAST NAME?
♪ [reggae music playing]
OH, MY GOD, TURN THAT OFF.
GETTING TO YOU, HUH?
THEY KEEP PLAYING THAT SAME
SONG OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU.
THAT WAS NOT THE SAME SONG.
OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE
KIDDING. MMM-MMM.
[rustling] WHAT WAS THAT?
I DON'T KNOW. SOUNDS LIKE
IT CAME FROM THE GARAGE.
THERE'S SOMEONE IN MY GARAGE?
[woman giggling]
WEIRD TIME FOR
GARDENING, ISN'T IT?
COULD BE, LIKE, A RACCOON.
OH, HEY, DON'T
SHOVEL THE RACCOON.
JUST STAY BACK, WILL YOU?
LUKE, YOU CAN'T HURT A RACCOON.
THEY'RE CUTE. THEY HAVE FACE
MASKS LIKE LITTLE FURRY BURGLARS.
AND SHARP TEETH THAT CHEW
THROUGH YOUR WIRING, AND RABIES.
LUKE. I'M NOT GONNA
HIT IT. I'M GONNA SCARE IT.
HEY, WHY DON'T YOU PLAY
IT YOUR REGGAE FEVER?
[creaking]
[snoring]
DO YOU SEE IT? SHH.
[grunting]
IT'S ONE HELL OF A RACCOON.
SHOVEL UP. SHOVEL UP. SHOVEL UP.
[snoring]
(Lorelai) I PROBABLY SHOULD BE
MORE SURPRISED THAN I AM, RIGHT?
KIRK, WAKE UP.
AND HE'S NAKED.
OH, KIRK. GEEZ. WHERE AM I?
(Lorelai) YOU'RE IN MY HOUSE,
KIRK. YOU'RE IN MY BOAT, KIRK.
I'M EXPOSED. WE KNOW, KIRK.
LET'S DO SOMETHING
ABOUT THAT, HUH, KIRK?
I'M GOOD NOW.
KIRK, WHAT YOU DOING HERE?
I LEFT MOTHER'S. NO.
DID YOU HAVE A FIGHT?
DID SHE TAKE AWAY YOUR
BEACH BOYS ALBUM AGAIN?
NO, I JUST GOT SO EXCITED ABOUT
THE THOUGHT OF A
NEW LIFE, YOU KNOW,
OF STRIKING OUT ON MY
OWN AND BEING MY OWN MAN.
RIGHT, LUKE?
"RIGHT, LUKE?"
(Kirk) SO I DID IT.
I PACKED MY CLOTHES, AND
I GAVE MY MOTHER MY KEY
AND I SAID GOODBYE, AND I LEFT.
OH, KIRK, THAT'S A BIG
DEAL, YOU LEAVING LIKE THAT.
I KNOW IT IS, BUT LUKE
EXPLAINED TO ME THAT
IF I REALLY WANT TO MOVE
TO THE NEXT LEVEL WITH LULU,
AND HAVE A REAL GROWN-UP RELATIONSHIP
WITH SLEEPOVERS AND EVERYTHING,
THEN I HAD TO GET OUT.
I DON'T THINK THAT'S
EXACTLY WHAT I SAID.
OH, YES, IT WAS, AND I
FELT REALLY GOOD ABOUT IT
UNTIL I REALIZED THAT
I HAD NO PLACE TO GO.
I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE
FOUND AN APARTMENT FIRST.
(Luke) PROBABLY.
YOU CAN STAY IN RORY'S ROOM.
REALLY? REALLY?
JUST FOR TONIGHT.
WE'LL FIND YOU
SOMEPLACE TOMORROW.
OK.
YOU KNOW, I THINK YOU'VE
GOT A RACCOON IN HERE.
JUST GO ON IN THE HOUSE, KIRK.
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
KIRK WAS AT THE
DINER TALKING ABOUT
HOW HE WISHED HOW
HE AND LULU HAD WHAT
WE HAVE, AND I JUST MENTIONED...
ARE YOU INSANE? EVERYBODY KNOWS
YOU CAN'T MENTION
ANYTHING TO KIRK.
I WAS CORNERED. I WAS TIRED.
I WANTED TO GO TO SLEEP.
WELL, NOW WE HAVE TO GO IN
THERE AND TAKE CARE OF HIM.
HE IS NOW OUR RESPONSIBILITY.
BUT... UH-UH,
POTTERY BARN, BABY.
YOU BREAK IT, YOU BUY IT.
[groaning] OH, JEEZ.
[sighing]
♪ [band playing music]
MY ENTIRE GOAL IN LIFE
IS TO OUTLIVE MY BROTHER,
INHERIT THE FAMILY FORTUNE, PUT
ALL MY SISTERS OUT ON THE STREET
AND LIVE AS
FRIVOLOUSLY AS POSSIBLE,
HAVE NUMEROUS WIVES,
THOUSANDS OF ILLEGITIMATE CHILDREN,
AND DIE COMPLETELY
ALONE, AND LEAVE EVERY CENT
TO A PARROT NAMED POLLY.
THAT'S YOUR ENTIRE GOAL IN LIFE?
EXCEPT FOR THE
NAME OF THE PARROT,
I STICK TO
EVERYTHING I JUST SAID.
YOU'RE A FASCINATING
SPECIMEN, ROBERT.
WELL, JOSIE'S A LESBIAN.
YOU STRUCK OUT, COLIN?
WHATEVER. IS LYDIA HERE?
YES. SHE'S HERE WITH
PATRICK, HER FIANCE.
GOD, I HATE THESE STUPID,
INCESTUOUS PARTIES.
IT'S THE SAME PEOPLE
OVER AND OVER.
WHO'S AS DRUNK AS I AM?
NO ONE SINCE SPENCER TRACY DIED.
FINN, ARE THERE ANY
INTERESTING WOMEN HERE AT ALL?
HAVE YOU TRIED JOSIE?
I'M GETTING A DRINK.
ALL RIGHTY. I HAVE TO
GO MAKE THE ROUNDS.
HAVE I MET YOU YET?
SEVERAL TIMES.
ALL RIGHT, THEN.
SO, HOW ABOUT THAT DRINK?
NOTHING TOO STRONG.
SEE WHAT I CAN DO.
HEY, ACE, HAVING A GOOD TIME?
I AM, THANKS.
GOOD. THAT'S GOOD. ME, TOO.
I'M HAVING A GOOD TIME, TOO.
GOOD.
YES, IT IS GOOD.
I DIDN'T KNOW YOU KNEW ROBERT.
I MET HIM AT THE LIFE AND
DEATH BRIGADE GATHERING.
AND THE POKER GAME. OH, RIGHT.
RIGHT, HE MUST HAVE
MADE QUITE AN IMPRESSION.
HE JUST ASKED ME
OUT IS ALL. SURE.
HE'S KIND OF A JERK. EXCUSE ME?
ROBERT. HE'S KIND OF A JERK.
HAVE YOU NOTICED
HE'S KIND OF A JERK?
NOPE. HUH.
NIGHT'S YOUNG. OK, COME ON.
WHERE ARE WE GOING? LOGAN?
YOU LOOK GREAT.
THANK YOU.
LOGAN, STOP.
RIGHT. SO, HOW YOU BEEN?
I'VE BEEN FINE.
GOOD. SCHOOL'S GOOD?
SCHOOL'S HARD.
WELL, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE HARD.
IT'S GROOMING YOU FOR LIFE.
MAKING YOU AN
UPSTANDING CITIZEN.
GOD-FEARING CHRISTIAN.
HABITUAL RECYCLER.
[Rory moans]
WE CAN'T DO THIS HERE, LOGAN.
YOU'RE RIGHT. LET'S GO.
GO WHERE? YOUR PLACE, MY PLACE.
LET'S TAKE A TRAIN TO NEW YORK,
SPEND THE NIGHT IN THE PLAZA.
WE CAN'T JUST
LEAVE. WE HAVE DATES.
I DON'T LIKE THIS. LIKE WHAT?
YOU HERE WITH ROBERT.
YOU'RE HERE WITH WHITNEY.
I KNOW. SO, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
THE PROBLEM IS YOU'RE HERE
WITH ROBERT, AND IT'S BOTHERING ME.
I DON'T LIKE THAT
IT'S BOTHERING ME.
SORRY. DO YOU WANT US TO LEAVE?
NO, I WANT US TO
LEAVE, YOU AND ME.
I CAN'T DO THAT.
YOU WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT
WITH ROBERT, INSTEAD OF ME?
I CAME HERE WITH
ROBERT. SO DUMP ROBERT.
I HATE ROBERT. HE'S YOUR FRIEND.
SO WHAT? I STILL HATE HIM.
LOGAN, YOU'RE
THE ONE WHO SAID...
I KNOW WHAT I SAID.
OK, THEN, I HAVE TO GO. I HAVE A
DATE. ENJOY THE REST OF THE PARTY.
♪ IT WAS THERE WHERE PIERRE WAS
WEDDED TO THE LOVELY MADEMOISELLE ♪
♪ "C'EST LA VIE,"
SAY THE OLD FOLKS ♪
♪ IT GOES TO SHOW
YOU NEVER CAN TELL ♪
THERE'S NOTHING IN
HERE BUT ICE CREAM,
CANDY BARS, COOKIE
DOUGH, CANNED FROSTING.
WHY ARE YOU NOT 450 POUNDS?
SCIENTISTS CALL IT
THE LORELAI PARADOX.
WHO YOU CALLING? NO ONE.
JUST SEEING IF RORY
LEFT A MESSAGE. OH.
WHO'S WASHING THOSE?
[groaning]
WHY, WAS SHE SUPPOSED
TO LEAVE A MESSAGE?
NO, I WAS JUST HOPING.
WE OUT OF PLASTIC?
[sighing] WHY WERE YOU HOPING?
EVERYTHING OK WITH HER?
YEAH, SHE JUST HAD A DATE
TONIGHT. GET 4. THOSE TEND TO BREAK.
[groaning]
UH, IS SHE OUT WITH
THAT LOGAN KID?
NO, ROBERT.
WHO'S ROBERT? I KNOW
NOTHING ABOUT HIM
EXCEPT HIS LAST
NAME IS GRIMALDI.
WHEN DID SHE BREAK
UP WITH LOGAN?
SHE DIDN'T.
I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IT'S COLLEGE.
WHAT THE HELL'S THAT MEAN?
IT MEANS, "BUTT OUT, BACK OFF,
NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS."
OH. RORY SUDDENLY
DECIDED SHE'S "DATING GIRL."
THAT'S OK, RIGHT? ISN'T THAT
WHAT KIDS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO?
IT'S JUST... IT'S NOT RORY.
I DON'T THINK IT'S WHAT
IS GONNA MAKE HER HAPPY.
IT SEEMS WRONG FOR HER.
YOU SAID SOMETHING TO HER? NO.
SHE'S BEEN SO CHATTY LATELY
WANTING TO BE ABLE TO TALK
ABOUT LOGAN AND HER LIFE, SO...
NOW I JUST DON'T
KNOW WHAT TO DO.
YOU TALK BACK.
I AM, BUT I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO
BE REALLY CAREFUL WHAT I SAY.
OH, COME ON. THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
SHE'S NOT AT HOME ANYMORE.
SHE'S ON HER OWN.
DOESN'T MATTER.
IT MATTERS A LITTLE.
YOU KNOW, THERE HAVE BEEN
VERY FEW TIMES IN OUR RELATIONSHIP
WHEN I EVER PLAYED THE MOM CARD
BUT I ALWAYS HAD IT
THERE IN MY BACK POCKET.
AND WHEN I USED
IT, SHE HAD TO HEAR
AND TAKE IT BECAUSE
SHE LIVED HERE.
AND EVEN IF SHE DIDN'T LIKE
IT OR EVEN IF SHE GOT MAD,
THE WORST THAT WOULD HAPPEN
IS SHE WOULD RUN INTO HER ROOM
AND SLAM THE DOOR AND BLAST
THE JAM. BUT THEN IN THE MORNING,
I CONTROLLED THE BATHROOM,
AND THE... AND THE POP-TARTS
AND SHE HAD TO DEAL WITH ME.
EVENTUALLY, WE'D MAKE UP,
AND IT WAS OVER. BUT NOW...
NOTHING'S DIFFERENT.
OF COURSE IT'S DIFFERENT.
SHE'S ON HER OWN. SHE'S
MAKING HER OWN DECISIONS.
MY MOM CARD'S LOOKING
A LITTLE FLIMSIER,
AND I DON'T KNOW HOW
MUCH TO SAY TO HER.
IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO HEAR
IT, SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO TAKE IT.
SHE DOESN'T HAVE TO
CALL OR COME HOME.
SHE'LL CALL. SHE'LL COME HOME.
YEAH, I HOPE SO. I DON'T KNOW.
[door closing]
[dog barking]
DO WE LOCK THE FRONT DOOR?
I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
(Luke) KIRK! GET
BACK HERE, KIRK.
[door closing]
WHAT ON EARTH IS WRONG WITH YOU
BESIDES THE OBVIOUS
LACK OF FASHION SENSE?
WHAT ARE YOU...
I TOLD YOU TO GET BACK
TOGETHER WITH LORELAI.
I TOLD YOU EXACTLY WHAT TO
DO AND EXACTLY WHAT TO SAY.
WHAT DO YOU NEED, A CHEAT SHEET?
EMILY, I...
(Emily) SOME FLASH CARDS, SOME
SESAME STREET CHARACTERS
TO SING A SONG ABOUT IT? LOOK.
DO YOU THINK IT WAS EASY FOR
ME TO COME TO YOU LIKE THAT?
DO YOU THINK I ENJOYED IT?
LIKE I WAS JUST SITTING
AROUND MY HOUSE,
THINKING, "HMM, WHAT
SHALL I DO TONIGHT?
"I KNOW. I CAN DRIVE
TO STARS HOLLOW
AND HUMILIATE MYSELF AT
THE LOCAL GREASY SPOON."
OK, I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF...
I DON'T CARE WHAT
YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF!
MY FAMILY IS BEING TORN APART,
BECAUSE, FOR SOME REASON
YOU AREN'T CAPABLE OF
TAKING SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS
AND PUTTING YOUR
RELATIONSHIP BACK TOGETHER!
[cell phone ringing]
HELLO?
(Emily) JUST BECAUSE
YOU RUN A DINER
AND HAVE MASTERED THE
ART OF THE BLANK STARE
DOES NOT MEAN IT'S
GOING TO WORK WITH ME!
[groans]
(Emily) AND RICHARD WENT
THROUGH A GREAT DEAL OF TROUBLE
TO SET THE WHOLE THING UP
AND YOU NEVER EVEN
CALLED HERB SMITH.
APPARENTLY, YOU
CAN'T FOLLOW THROUGH
WITH ANYTHING, NOT EVEN A RAZOR!
MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I'M HAVING WHAT I'M
SURE WILL TURN OUT TO BE
YET ANOTHER FRUITLESS
CONVERSATION WITH THIS MAN.
I'M SORRY, LUKE. I'M REALLY,
REALLY SORRY. IT'S OK.
MOM, GO HOME. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT
TO BARGE IN HERE
AND CAUSE A SCENE.
I HAVE SOMETHING I WANT TO SAY.
NO. WE DON'T WANT TO
HEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY.
WE JUST WANT YOU TO
PLEASE BUTT OUT OF OUR LIVES.
OUR LIVES? SO,
THERE'S AN "OUR LIVES"?
ARE YOU 2 BACK
TOGETHER? YES. WE ARE.
SO YOU DID GO TO HER,
JUST LIKE I TOLD YOU TO.
WE GOT BACK TOGETHER BECAUSE
WE WANTED TO GET BACK TOGETHER.
THEN I SIMPLY DON'T UNDERSTAND.
IF YOU'RE TOGETHER,
THEN WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
WHY WON'T YOU COME
TO FRIDAY DINNER?
WHATEVER HAPPENED BETWEEN
THE 2 OF YOU, I OBVIOUSLY FIXED IT.
YOU FIXED IT? YOU BROKE IT.
JUST BECAUSE LUKE AND I FOUND
A WAY TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE
DOESN'T ERASE THE
FACT THAT IT HAPPENED.
WHAT I DID, I DID
OUT OF CONCERN.
OH, PLEASE.
AS YOUR MOTHER, I HAVE
THE RIGHT TO BE CONCERNED
ESPECIALLY WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU'RE TAKING YOUR LIFE DOWN
A COMPLETELY DISASTROUS PATH.
I HAD TO JUMP IN.
MOM! LORELAI!
PLEASE HEAR ME. IF I
WANT YOUR INPUT IN MY LIFE
IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR
FORM, I WILL ASK FOR IT.
UNTIL THEN, DO US ALL
A FAVOR AND SHUT UP!
[chimes ringing]
[door closing]
I GOT TO SAY, I'M SUDDENLY
A BIG FAN OF THE SPEED DIAL.
[cell phone ringing]
HEY, KID, WHAT'S GOING ON?
I JUST GOT A CALL FROM KIRK.
HE WANTED TO KNOW IF HE
COULD CRASH AT MY DORM.
OH, BOY. HOW DID
HE GET MY NUMBER?
HE PROBABLY GOT
IT OFF THE FRIDGE.
OK.
AND WHAT WAS KIRK
DOING NEAR OUR FRIDGE?
IT'S A LONG STORY. OK,
WELL, TELL ME LATER.
I WANT TO HEAR HOW THE
BACK-TOGETHER DATE WENT.
IT WAS VERY SUCCESSFUL.
DID HE LIKE THE DRESS?
THE DRESS WAS A HIT.
I TOLD YOU.
AND HOW WAS YOUR,
UH, DATE WITH ROBERT?
COMPLETELY INSANE.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE
THE EVENING I HAD.
OH, TELL ME.
SO, ROBERT AND I GET TO THE
PARTY, AND LOGAN WAS THERE.
AND AT FIRST, EVERYTHING
WAS COMPLETELY CAJ,
AND THEN AS THE EVENING WENT
ON, HE GOT MORE AND MORE JEALOUS.
OH, REALLY? OH, YEAH.
HE WANTED ME TO LEAVE
WITH HIM, BLOW OFF ROBERT.
AND DID YOU? NO, OF COURSE NOT.
I TOLD HIM THAT I
CAME WITH ROBERT
AND I WAS LEAVING WITH ROBERT.
AND THEN I WALKED
AWAY AND IT WAS GREAT.
SOUNDS GREAT.
AND SINCE THEN, BY THE WAY,
LOGAN HAS CALLED TWICE TODAY.
WE'RE GOING OUT TONIGHT AND WE'VE
ALREADY MADE PLANS FOR THIS WEEK.
COMPLETE AND TOTAL TURNAROUND.
WELL, SOUNDS LIKE ALL THE
BALLS ARE IN YOUR COURT OR...
WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
YOU OK? YOU SOUND DOWN.
NO, NO, NO, I'M FINE. WHAT
ARE YOU GONNA WEAR TONIGHT?
I THOUGHT I'D GO WITH
THE 20-MINUTE SWEATER.
OH, CUTE.
(Michel) THE ANSWER IS NO.
LOOK, JERRY, I SOLD
YOU THE MOTOR HOME.
IT IS NOW YOURS.
I'M A VERY BUSY MAN.
I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR ALL THIS.
ALL RIGHT, FOR $20, I WILL
MEASURE THE SHOWER FOR YOU.
NO, THAT IS ON TOP OF THE $40 FOR THE
CUPBOARD SPACE AND THE PULLOUT TABLE.
WELL, I'M SORRY IF YOU'RE
FEELING RIPPED OFF.
I CAN CALL ELASTIC-PANTS LADY
AND SEE IF SHE'D LIKE TO TAKE
THE MOTOR HOME OFF YOUR HANDS.
I THOUGHT SO. HOLD ON.
[measuring tape clicking]
[mumbling]